oh dear are you all right boys do cry oh that's a clever thing to say you've contradicted the name of the song do you remember when we first time in recorded history uh do you remember when we were at a party man when we were young have we been to a party yeah when we were young people when we were like 16 or 15 and uh there was a fellow in the corner our friend tony stoddart you remember him sure and we were playing that album the cure
boys don't cry.
And after that track, he just said, boys do cry, you know?
And then he went off and had some Malibu.
Yeah, it was sincerely, he was dropping a little emotion bomb.
Maybe he was the first person to do that, to say that.
I think he was.
He was upset because no one was snogging him.
Well, that's always upsetting.
No one's snogging me right now.
And I'm on the verge of tears.
Yeah.
I mean, I was snogging so many people.
I, first of all, I didn't even hear him.
And then you were, you were a player.
Certainly.
You certainly was in your big loon pants.
And your enormous hat.
If you want to know the name of this player, it's Adam Buxton.
How you doing?
How you doing, listeners?
My name's Joe Cornish.
It's Saturday morning here on BBC 6 Music.
It's beautiful here in London.
It might not be beautiful where you are, but it's certainly beautiful here on 6 Music.
And if it's not beautiful where you are, in your face!
That's not very nice.
No, that's not on.
We've got all sorts of stuff coming up.
We've got a Black Squadron command, so we should launch the jingle, or are we going to have a record first?
Let's have a jingle.
Come on.
Always catch the beginning of the show.
Black squadron don't want to miss a thing.
That's not the way.
Black squadron roll.
Black squadron!
Went to bed at a reasonable hour.
Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning.
That's the secret of the squadron.
Yes, Black Squadron are the elite listening force that listen to the Adam and Joe show here on 6music live between 10 and 11 in the morning.
I'm glad you say elite rather than elite.
Do people say elite a lot?
Remember, none of what you're hearing now will be included in the podcast.
This is exclusively for live listeners.
Yeah, exactly.
They're the creme de la creme.
It's a special section.
It's been roped off from the rest of the show.
And by now, you know, longer term members of Black Squadron will be feeling the physical benefits.
Sure.
They will have more toned bodies.
They will have eggs in their pockets.
They will have bacon jewellery.
That's right.
And they really have started to reach a new plateau of existence, a mental acuity, a physical perfection.
If someone randomly says to them, get in the bin, they'll be in the bin before anyone else.
Members of Black Squadron who've been there since the beginning should be noticing changes in their life as a whole now.
More success, a bit more money in the bank, success in love.
Exactly, after they went out into the street wearing only their underwear that time.
Things should be improving on every front for Black Squadron.
So here is your command this week now.
This command includes a word that has to be listened to very carefully.
So I'm going to spell it and I'm going to enunciate it very clearly.
It's a fairly safe command.
If you get any in your eyes, simply wash it out with warm water.
Stand by Black Squadron.
Here comes your command.
Oh, let me remind new members to the squadron what you have to do.
We're going to give you a command.
You have to take a photo of yourself executing or interpreting that command, and then you send it to us here at the Adam and Joe show via email, adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
or via text 64046 and remember all photos that we receive or at least the ones that do it best will appear on our gallery.
You know last week we had 450 entries?
No.
The highest number ever.
That's amazing.
It nearly crashed the blog.
Crashed the blog, that's amazing.
I know.
So here's the command, are you ready?
Yeah, go on.
The command this week is FOAM.
Foam face!
Foam face!
Now, Black Squadron, your command was foam face with an M. But, you know, we've got some very sweet pictures of foamy babies, but a lot of people take photos like this anyway and might have them in storage.
Oh, come on.
Is that too harsh?
That's way too harsh.
Is it?
That is a good picture.
There's a foamy baby there with a funny expression on his face.
I bet that wasn't taken this morning, though.
I bet that's in the file.
Well, ask them.
But that is a peach.
An absolute smash.
He's got sort of chops.
He's got like a big white head of foamy hair with big mutton chop sideburns.
Who does he look like?
He looks like a cross between... What's his name from Heidi Heye?
The big guy from Heidi Heye.
What was he called?
Uh, McShane.
Paul McShane.
Paul McShane, yeah.
That's who he looks like.
or Mike McShane or Ian.
There's so many McShanes.
Keep those foamy faces coming in while the command is still active.
James, our producer, was just complaining it was a little warm in the studio and it was, you know, it suddenly occurred to me and I turned it down.
It was a 24.
That's way too warm!
What's your ideal temperature in a room?
I don't know, I still get confused between centigrade and Fahrenheit, to be honest.
Like, I'm confused right now.
I can't even finish that sentence.
24 degrees C, I think we're looking at, aren't we?
In room temperature, right?
James?
Are you less thick than us?
But the thing is, weren't we born when it was switched around?
Switcheroo?
So I've stayed in a state of complete confusion about that.
Yeah, same here.
But, you know, it's weird that in the modern times you're aware of what your ideal room temperature is.
That wasn't the case when we were youngsters.
There were no, like, you know... Because you're air conditioning obsessed.
I am a little bit.
I like it cold.
I really like it cold.
I like it cold.
My ideal temperature... It's like that question whether you would, this is morbid, but whether you would be cremated or buried.
I had that conversation the other day.
Or whether you would prefer to die of freezing or hot-tings.
Or hot-tings.
It's toasties.
Toastings.
It's a tough one to figure out.
It's almost as if it's a stupid question.
Everyone talks about it though.
I'd definitely go for the, for the frugals.
I mean, you'd say that until you're out there and... Yeah, but you see some of those frugal films.
Yeah.
You check out the frugal flicks.
They're not very, but then the, the, the Bernie ones aren't so good either.
No.
No.
I think a combination of the two just warmed to death.
I'd like to be bored to death.
Really?
Well, you're tuned to the right show.
Here's a little free play for you right now, listeners.
What's a free play, Joe?
Free play is a record chosen by either Adam or I especially.
I ain't got none this week.
Have you not?
Nah, I ain't got none.
Why would you waste your free plays like that?
I don't know.
I'm banking them up.
I didn't have any last week, so now I've got nine in the bank.
So if I drop it for another couple of weeks, I'm going to get to programme a whole show.
That's not how it works.
What?
This popped up on my MP3 player this week, and I'd only ever heard the Pretenders version of this.
I'm talking about I go to sleep by the case.
And this is the, I assume this is the original, but it's so stripped down.
It sounds like a demo.
It's probably not.
I mean, that was you presenting a fact, wasn't it?
So it's probably not correct.
But it does sound like a demo because it's so stripped down and also at one point he seems to almost fluff one of the lines at the top but it's beautiful and so minimal.
This is The Kinks and I Go to Sleep.
Why would you want to freeze rock?
That's the song sung in Shaun of the Dead of course.
Always reminds me of Shaun of the Dead now.
Yes that's right.
Oh, and Nick and Simon, they're outside the pub.
Yeah, but why would you want to freeze?
Because it's exciting, it's robotics, it's robotics.
And they're two very extreme contrasting actions to freeze and then to rock.
One is extreme movement, the other is very, very frozen.
I'm thinking of like popping a stick of rock in the freezer.
Oh, I see.
Why would you want to do that?
What, a stick of a stick of rock like Brighton?
It's very tasty cold.
A lot of, I mean, confectionary companies tried to push the idea of chilling chocolate, didn't they?
Do they still do that?
Do you remember that summer when someone somewhere came up with, hey, why not suggest that you put your choccy bar in the fridge?
That was, I remember the first time it was our friend Mark.
He's a trailblazer for all those things.
You know, you go around and Mark's always going to be doing the coolest thing.
And Mark had his choccy in the fridge.
What are you doing with a choccy in the fridge, you nutbag?
Choccy's best eaten sort of room temperature, isn't it?
I think so.
It goes all hard and crunchy and nasty all cold.
I think.
It ruins the texture.
It starts going white, it looks like ET after a while.
Yes, it's ridiculous.
When he's ill.
And the other thing... That's a good idea, a chocolate ET that they just let leave to mould in the factory for a bit.
It could be called, yeah, dying ET.
My wife keeps the ketchup in the fridge.
What is that?
So does my girl lady friend.
I always take it out and I stick it back on the shelf.
Lots of people like chilled.
Room temperature ketchup please.
I don't want it like chilled.
That's disgusting.
Then it'll be a shock and then it'll cool the fish fingers down.
Why would you want that?
Cold pizza.
Do you like cold pizza?
I don't really.
I'm not on for pizza.
Oh you don't like cheese do you?
I hate the cheese.
I couldn't eat a cold pizza.
Some people love it.
Some people do.
Some people like it better cold and hot.
Some people have that for breakfast yo.
Cold pizza for breakfast.
The kids.
The 17 to 25 demographic that apparently listened to this show.
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
We'll be talking a little more about nonsense a bit later in the show but now we should talk about some Black Squadron photos.
Your response has been incredible, Squadron.
Well done.
There's one from Michelle West who has made an extraordinary... I mean that looks like her hubby.
I don't think it's Michelle.
No, unless she's quite stubbly.
But they've made an incredible sort of Marge Simpson style towering barnet.
It's beautiful.
I mean, the husband is in the bath.
It's a very foamy bath.
I'm impressed with people who can get bubble bath in bubble baths that high.
What kind of foam are they using there?
The consistency is extraordinary.
Very bubbly.
It must be GM foam or something.
Maybe he's got some kind of wire structure under there to keep it up.
There's another one here from Phil Campbell, who says, I've got my parents staying over, I really should not be doing this.
And he's used shaving foam and he's coated his entire face, mouth, nose and hair and just left his eyes.
He looks like... And he's got a very stern expression on his face.
He looks like the invisible man.
He looks frightening as well.
What would your parents think if you turned up like that as well?
You'd think, oh, he's having a breakdown.
Well, that's the point.
He's got his parents staying over.
So maybe he's going to shave his entire face.
And this is extraordinary.
Ben is having a stag in Cornwall and he appears to have five friends with him.
And they've also all sort of covered their faces in a thin layer of fur.
It looks more like they're survivors of some sort of volcano eruption or something, doesn't it?
Right, or they've just witnessed an explosion in a Gillette factory or something.
And they're all pointing off camera as if something intriguing is going on.
Which is always a fun thing to do.
That looks like a good stag, guys!
There's another textination.
Bank this.
Best photo poses.
Best poses to do just randomly in a photo.
That's a good one.
Yes, pointing into the distance is one of my absolute favourites.
Ryan Bayliss has sent in an extraordinary sort of terrifying photo of himself also with shaving foam, but he's got shaving foam that has a heavy consistency.
It has a strong inner structure.
He's able to build it out from his face in an exciting way.
One eye is covered.
It almost looks like whipped cream, like he stuck his face in a pie.
There's a sort of myopic horror to that, isn't there?
He looks like a shaving cream zombie.
That's extremely powerful, Ryan.
And finally, India Woods.
uh is with a man friend and they've both i mean a lot of people have gone for shaving foam here they i don't know what's happening there i mean it looks like she's got some in her eyes she doesn't have that type of foam were you imagining like sea spume i thought people would get a bit of washing up liquid and foam it up in the kitchen bath and then kitchen bath kitchen sink and then put it on there are you enjoying foam in your baths
I like to have a bubble bath, but as I say, I can never get it that rich or lather it.
It always vanishes after about a minute.
As a youngster, would you sit there and pour a lot of matey in there or other bubble baths?
Your matey's a bottle of fun.
He puts me in the bath, and loved by everyone, and I'm always good for a laugh.
Um, other, um, bubble baths are available, but would you stick a lot in there and then churn it with your hands?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I still do that.
Until it got way foamy.
I have a spread finger technique.
Do you?
And I stay on the surface of the water.
There's more friction.
Combination of that and the churning.
The churning.
So much to talk about this morning.
So many important issues.
Wasn't the churning an album by Tears for Fears?
Yes, it was.
Okay, good.
Here's the vaccines with All in White.
As the vaccine's with all in white, we'd better stand down the squadron.
It's 10.31 and 33 seconds, it's time for the news here on 6music.
Yeah, he's a sexy man.
Jack White and Meg White.
That's the white stripes.
My doorbell.
I thought I'd say their names like I knew them.
It makes it sound like you know them, and I think you're sexier and cooler because you know the white stripes.
I know their names.
You know the names of the white stripes.
You're amazing.
Jackal and Megals.
So listen listeners, next week I've got to go away to Americans.
But there's an upside to this.
Yes.
Because one of the best and most brilliant and most wonderful and most fantastic people and friends of ours and friends of this show is going to come and sit in for me.
Chris Moyles!
Yes, the Moyles monster.
No, Garth Jennings, the amazing, wonderful Garth.
And he's here on the line to set us up for his amazing deputising stint.
Hey Garth.
Wow, that was the best set up I've ever had in my life.
How you doing, man?
I'm alright.
Tell us where you are.
Paint a picture for us.
So I paint a picture, I am standing on a beach in Cannes, and I'm out here on business.
We're out here, Nick and I are here, trying to raise the financing for our next film.
Nick is your producing partner, right?
He is.
Nick Goldsmith, producing partner, and all round good egg.
And your next film is the Sexy Romp starring Russell Brand, right?
I wish it was, I'd have had it financed by now.
It's a sexy romp starring Dr. Buckles is the correct answer.
Garth, Garth, I've got an idea for a film and I thought you and I should maybe work together on it.
Yep.
You know they're doing board games at the moment, that's the big thing.
Yeah.
And we've talked about this before but the Connect Four movie.
Yes.
Yeah, because... Exactly.
It's a kind of bomb defusing, sort of safe cracking kind of thing.
I don't know where I'm going with it.
I've just got the kernel.
But if there's any chance for you to negotiate the rights while you're over there.
Can I play the kernel?
uh hot topic it's i can see the stand for the next mission impossible thing i think they're going to do a big launch later it's just across from where i'm standing it's called ghost protocol i think yeah it looks like they're going to do a big water entrance you know someone's going to come zooming in on a boat or something have you seen any famous people have you seen any famous people out there what's it like what were they like
Well I got here yesterday and I was walking down the street, Bob De Niro, Bobby De Niro, it was pretty exciting I even became one of those people that takes pictures on their camera phone yeah so far away you wouldn't even see them but I thought I had to press
You should have gone up to me and said, excuse me, are you talking to me?
Excuse me, are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?
He would have found out so funny.
That would have put me in a good, cool position.
Do you think you guys will do song wars while I'm away?
I think we should, don't you Garth?
Yeah, I'm all for it.
I mean, we're acting like we haven't discussed this already, we have, and the topic for next week's Song Wars is going to be toys and games, because Garth and I are both fathers of a number of children, and I've got ten children, Garth's got twenty-five children.
Yeah, it's really a Mormon sect we've got going.
That's right.
Mormon wife-swapping sect.
It's good fun.
So we're very familiar with the world of toys and games and that's what we're going to do our songs about connect for song.
I mean, that could be the title of the title track for the movie.
Yeah, there you go.
I definitely need some inspiration because I haven't thought of what to do yet.
I haven't had chance to do it yet.
So I'm gonna I'm gonna have to nip your connect for idea Joe.
Well, please do I'm excited your hay fever song is one of my all time favorites.
It really is, it's such a good song.
It's a good one.
So Garth, we're really looking forward to seeing you, I'm looking forward to seeing you.
Best of luck for the rest of your Cannes trip.
I had a little weird noise that I made there.
I hope I can't make good news next week, I need to be bringing back some positive vibes from Cannes.
Yeah, okay, good.
And take lots of pictures of famous people, go and prod Robert De Niro, and we'll see you next week.
Take care fellas.
See you Garth!
Right, lovely Garth Jennings there.
He's going to be joining me while Joe is away next weekend.
Right now here's some more music for you.
This is, oh this has got a great video for this track actually.
Have you ever seen the video for this James?
By a directing team called Daniels and go and check it out online right now.
And this is FM Belfast with underwear.
Nice!
That's FM Belfast with underwear.
Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
Very nice to be with you this Saturday morning, listeners.
And right now, I think we're going to get into some text the nation, retro text the nation rather, but you've got a message there, don't you, Joe?
We do.
We've had a very excellent jingle sent in by Dan in Hackney who writes, hi Adam and Joe, I thought I'd funnel my energies into this reworked retro text the nation jingle.
I made it out of bits of old songs by The Clash, Uncle and M.I.A.
with my laptop and my phone and a real life jingle I heard on the radio and my voice, for which I apologise.
Hope you like it, love you, bye Dan and Hackney.
Also, the other week Joe mentioned he was reading a book about magicians.
I love magicians too, can you tell me what it's called and who is it by?
The book's by Jim Steinmayer and it's called, it's about Houdini versus Thurston.
It's very good.
Anyway, here is the jingle by Dan and Hackney.
Check this out.
I used to listen to Adam and Joe But I listened to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration Because I couldn't join in with textination But now my troubles have disappeared Because retro-textination's here And now my letter might be read out Instead of throwing up in the forgotten around
Nice job.
And he's got rid of the gunshots there, which I prefer.
Yes, they're very bad.
That was terrific, Dan.
Thank you very much.
And last week's text the nation subject was it was the first time we've ever returned to a subject because it was so powerful.
And we might come back to it again, because it's one of my favorites public pretending things you do little fantasy charades you do in public.
to maybe cover up for something.
We'll give you some examples.
Here's a little example right now.
This is from Dave Stewart.
I know it is.
I went to his house once, you know.
We both did, do you remember?
Did we?
So we did, we were together.
We were, right, do you remember what we were doing?
Yeah, I do remember what we were doing, but let's not talk about it.
Alright then.
Dear Adam and Joseph, let me get straight to the point.
If I happen to be in the vicinity of a helmeted security man collecting money from banks etc, I make sure they see me conspicuously checking my watch in an attempt to make them think I'm logging their schedule for some kind of future heist.
What?
I don't think they care.
Thanks, says Dave Stewart.
So he likes to deliberately freak out.
I get scared whenever that happens.
And whenever I go to the bank, they seem to be picking up or dropping off a big box of money.
And I get terrified because I'm convinced masked gunmen are going to pop out from around a corner at any moment.
It's just a massive danger zone.
And then I'm going to get involved and have to be a have-a-go hero.
You shouldn't really...
You definitely would.
You shouldn't really freak out security guys like that.
It's like in airports you can go to jail for that kind of thing.
No, that's irresponsible.
Irresponsible.
Nonsense, nonsense.
Bad, bad, bad.
Irresponsible, irresponsible, irresponsible!
Here is one from Oz Squadron.
Oh mate, I forgot to read this out in the correct accent.
I'm so, so sorry.
Oh don't worry, just carry on in the correct accent mate.
I see the bus zoom past me, because being a uni student I'm usually late, so I have to burst into a full sprint to try and make it to the bus stop before it departs.
This is good, I think my accent's really on it this morning.
Even with my exceptional sprinting ability...
I sometimes do not make it in time.
In this situation, to avoid embarrassment and deflation to my ego, I continue to run past the bus stop and pretend to be an eccentric jogger doing exercises with jeans and a backpack.
Good tactic, mate!
Then, after five or ten minutes, I sneakily slip back to the stop and wait for the bus to come.
Regards, Ishan, a mailman.
Nice technique.
That's good, isn't it?
I'm just a jogging guy.
I didn't miss that bus.
I was just jogging.
Yeah, yeah, I wear jeans.
No, I don't wear like running stuff.
That's for part-time joggers.
I'm a full-time jogging man.
He's a clever, clever bloke, but you can say that about most Aussies.
It's true, mate.
Here's one right now from Erin Kys.
K-Y-S?
How would you pronounce that?
Dunno, I'm not the man to ask.
It's terrible.
It's true, isn't it?
Erin Keiss is in Chatham, Ontario, Canada, and she says, dearest Adam Emnon and Jomethius, whenever I'm in a crowded public transit scenario, such as a bus or a train, and I'm forced to sit next to a stranger, my first thought is always, I wonder if this person can read minds.
I then challenge myself to start thinking of very interesting and intellectual things, like Noam Chomsky.
in case they can hear what I'm thinking about.
As time goes on, I become increasingly worried that my neighbour is on to me, knowing I'm only pretending to be interesting in my mind.
So then I think something like, I know you can hear me, I'm on an important mission, and I've been trained to protect my thoughts.
This usually leads to me accidentally thinking about their underwear, or imagining them naked, and then worrying for the rest of the journey they think I'm insane or a pervert.
Or both.
That's incredible.
That person's trying to manage their subconscious.
Have you ever done that though?
I've been in a situation, yeah, where I have thought in my mind very loudly about a person, right?
My thoughts are very loud.
To me it seems that they're so loud surely the person will hear.
And then I apologise in my mind.
I say, listen, if you can hear me, I'm sorry.
I don't do that.
This is new to me.
How amazing.
There's a new level of dementedness that I haven't achieved yet.
That's amazing.
Sometimes I think things so loudly that later in the day I can't remember whether I said it or not.
But I've never actually tried to manage that.
You know, I'm fairly confident that people can't read minds.
Are you?
It's funny because you're into a lot of other things, Sasquatch.
Well, come on, there's a lot more evidence for Bigfoot's existence.
Don't get me started.
There's only two hours left.
Have you got another one?
I've got another one.
Yeah.
Hi, Adam and Joe.
My public pretend story is thus, and this is from Rod.
Sometimes when I'm shopping in a supermarket, I will look at the vegetarian food options and that is merely look at them to impress the female shop workers and shelf stackers.
By pretending I'm a vegetarian, I somehow convinced myself that the female member of staff will think I'm a caring, animal-loving, fun guy, and therefore fall in love with me.
If one day this plan works, I will be fully prepared to become a vegetarian.
Yeah.
Women prefer men who are vegetarians.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Is it really?
They do.
I think real women.
I don't, I've got no, I just said that.
yeah got no evidence it's a sort of provocative conversation starter yeah okay well i would say that as another crass generalization women don't now in the old days in the 50s and 60s when men were men women liked men who ate meat that's right because it made them more meaty they liked uh men who had the blood of tigers dripping down from their mouths after they just run out and killed them with their mouths
If women had their way in the old days, they would have just gone out with men who had no eyes or mouth.
They were just meat.
Solid meat men.
And a big club.
Yes, a mince club.
Okay, here's one more from Claire Heel in London.
Uh, she says, hello there, I thought you might like to hear about my most Oscar-worthy moment of public pretending.
Once when I got on the bus, another lady offered me her seat.
I was only going a few stops, so I refused the kind offer.
She seemed quite surprised by this, saying, you sure?
And looking a bit put out.
Only after I'd turned her down a second time did I realize why she was so insistent.
She thought I was pregnant.
I was mortified, but didn't want her to know that I wasn't with child, I was just a bit fat.
I thought that if she realised her social faux pas and was embarrassed too, then it would make an awkward situation even more awkward.
So I spent the rest of the journey pretending to be pregnant by sticking my belly out even further and rubbing the small of my back.
I think it worked, but I'm not sure.
Claire Heale from London.
That's nice though, isn't it?
Where you would just go into a whole bit of theatre to protect someone else's feelings.
That's amazing.
A stranger.
That's very nice, Claire.
Thank you for all your messages on that subject.
We're going to have a new Text-A-Nation coming up a little bit later in the show.
Yeah, but right now, here's a free play for you that we slipped in at the last minute.
This is a good, I mean this is your choice here Adam, but I remember the cover to this album.
Am I right in saying this is by a band called Styx?
Am I right in saying that album was called Reach the Beach?
No, that's The Fix.
Oh no!
This was a whole concept album by Styx.
The Fix.
About Mr Roboto.
Easy mistake to make.
Sure it is.
The Fix and Styx.
I think it was an accompanying film.
When I got the single of Mr. Roboto, there were stills on the back that appeared to be from some kind of film they'd made around the whole thing.
I was excited, but then I heard the song.
Wow!
Let's hear it now.
It's an epic.
Styx and Mr. Roboto.
It's like an opera.
I believe Adam's just noticed that this song lasts for 10 minutes.
I've heard it for 15 minutes.
I mean it was a guilty pleasure when I was 15.
Do you want to review this?
I know here it's kicking in.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What a startling and stunning piece of news for Saturday morning.
He was Kilroy all along.
He was Kilroy.
Then he went off to the jungle with Ant & Dec.
Who would have thunk it?
I mean, that is a good song.
I was worried.
That's a very, very good song.
When it started, I was worried like, oh, I haven't heard this for a while.
That's a good song.
It's better than I
I remember.
It's amazing.
The middle bit.
Oh, it's just amazing.
Someone's texted in to say Polisics, who are a Japanese band that we had on our show.
Adam and Joe go Tokyo years ago, do a cover of that.
I'm sure anyone worth his salt would do a cover of that.
Bob Dylan talks about it on theme time radio briefly.
And that's what reminded me actually.
It's a smash.
Adam and Joe here on BBC six music.
More music right now.
This is violent femmes with blister in the sun.
Not such, not such, not such!
Yes, that's the Violent Femmes with Blister in the Sun, Adam and Joe, here on BBC Six Music.
Now, we had a couple of people emailing us today about a show that I hadn't seen hitherto, and it was called Two Greedy Italians.
Right.
It's one of those shows where they team up... It's one of those shows.
I've just got some carrots stuck in my windpipe.
Can you cover for a second?
Sure.
Hi, it's Adam and Joe, BBC Six Music, coming up later on the show.
Adam Buxton will be talking about...
Was that okay?
Yeah, it was interesting to hear what I was going to be talking about.
Well, I cut it off before I had to actually, um, reveal it to something.
So here's a message from Jonathan.
He's a man in London.
He says, imagine my, he, he calls us incidentally, dear bucks and balls.
Nice.
Imagine my surprise to discover her Madge, the Queen of England, co-presenting a cooking show with Antonio Carluccio on a castle programme.
It's called Two Greedy Italians, which seemed odd, but close your eyes and watch it.
It's fantastic to hear the Queen so engrossed in her grub.
And this isn't actually Antonio right now, it is, um, what's the name of the guy again?
Gennaro Contaldo is his co-presenter and here's a little clip of him in action.
Here, I have this fantastic beef, with a bit of fat inside as well, a bit greasy, that is nice, big fat, which is good, and I'm gonna cut it quite rough.
This particular one, you can make it with any kind, cheap cut of meat.
Then, I'm gonna seal the meat.
Now, let me explain the way to seal the meat, to make sure that the meat gets brown all outside.
And then, when it's brown, it will actually seal outside, but slowly, slowly, when it actually cooks, release all the goodness from inside.
That's amazing!
It's like a cross between the Queen and Super Mario.
Wow, is that... I mean, does the Queen have any Italian blood?
you would think, doesn't it?
Because they're doing very similar things, the way words are run into one another.
I mean, he's only really bothering with the centre syllable of each word.
Sure, and then it splits the word, it comes to the word, it splits the word.
And then just that buoyancy, that excitement, that, you know, I mean, he's so excited about what he's saying, he's almost not bothering to say it.
Let's hear a little clip again.
Do you know what I'd like to hear?
I'd like to hear like a scene from that show with you replacing Antonio Carluccio with the Queen.
So it's the Queen co-presenting with that guy.
So you could just redo Carluccio's lines in the Queen voice, and that would be astonishing.
Right, I'll get to work on that for next week's show.
That's amazing.
Thanks to everyone who pointed that out.
Someone else was Gav... Gav In Savage?
Or is he called Gav Savage?
Thank you very much for pointing that out.
What a brilliant name, Gav Savage.
Gav Sav.
Gavsev!
He's Savage Man!
A show on six music.
Gavage Savage.
What kind of music would you play?
Angry music!
Yeah, punk.
Punk!
I was trying to think of other kind of shows like the, you know, Too Greedy Italians that they might be coming up with because that seems to be a never-ending source of cooking fun.
Like you've got the Two Fat Ladies.
The Tairy Bikers.
The Hairy Bikers.
I was thinking Skinbird and Yum Yums.
What about something... You're not asking me about Skinbird and Yum Yums.
Sorry.
Skinbird and Yum Yums.
Yeah.
Who is Skinbird and Yum Yum?
Okay, I'm glad you asked.
Skinbird is a model, beautiful model.
Skinbird sounds a little bit sexy.
Exactly.
And Yum Yums is a big fat chap.
And he just will eat anything.
So he's after burgers and stuff.
And she has a very fine diet.
She likes slimming food.
She looks after her weight.
That's an exciting
dramatic contrast.
So, you know, what kind of things will they agree on?
Drama is conflict, right?
And how about two toddlers hopped up on snacks?
And they go round the country in pushchairs, in motorised pushchairs, very very fast, and they're just looking for stuff they find on the pavement, like old lollies.
Right, old lollies and bits of junk food.
That's very good.
And they feed them fizzy pop and stuff and then they just go mentile.
Okay, that's Text the Nation this week.
New concepts for cooking shows.
That isn't actually Text the Nation.
Why can't it be?
Can't it be?
Let's make it.
You've just done it.
You've just launched Text the Nation.
Don't you think?
What do we think, James?
New concepts for cooking shows?
We're going to talk about this.
That's not, you know, that's not official.
All right then.
We'll sit on that one for a while.
But right now, here's Death Cab for Cutie with You're a Tourist.
You're a tourist.
Death Cab for Cutie, Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music.
So yeah, we thought, um, you know, we kind of accidentally launched Text-A-Nation there in the last linky, so let's have the jingle, James.
Text-A-Nation!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Text-A-Nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-A-Nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
And we were talking about Two Greedy Italians, which is a show with two very... Greedy Italians?
Greedy Italians, with a kind of a crazy way of speaking.
Let's just hear the clip one more time to show one there, James.
A bit greasy, that is a nice big fat, which is called... and I'm gonna cut it.
Quite rough.
Quite rough inside.
Oh, the beef!
Oh, the beef!
Oh, nice and lovely.
It's lots of beef.
And it's great!
Loosy bit of gravy, isn't it?
That's extraordinary, extraordinary.
Got an interesting email here.
This may be not the right time to read it out, Sarah.
No, who's it from?
Sarah DiMarzio.
I have a comedy Italian dad.
I've spent the last 39 years convinced he was putting on an accent.
So the greedy Italians have vindicated him.
He could be one of them.
He's obsessed with mushrooms and becomes emotional about ham.
This is an Italian thing.
Look at the beautiful ham you've got in there.
Oh, it's a nice glaze, a beautiful glaze in the ham.
That's the kind of thing that happens in Sarah's house.
The idea for Text the Nation is for you to send us your ideas for high concept cookery shows because there's a hell of a lot of them about the hairy bikers, the one with the todlers hopped up on snacks.
Also, I had Tubby in the feeder.
The title is essential, isn't it?
a really compelling title tell us about tubby and the feeder i mean tubby and the feeder is a kind of lardy bloke who goes out with a skinny bird who's always giving him snacks sounds similar to lardy bloke and skinny bird it is it's based on that it's a spin-off it's a spin-off has he got the same presenters well i was thinking instead of tubby and the feeder you instead of him going out with the girl you have um tubby and mummy
And so he goes around and Mummy's the one, because they do, they go, you're looking very skinny, even when you're not.
And they say, you should have a cake.
Look, I made you a cake.
Oh, I'm trying to eat less cakes, Mum.
And they say, no, you have to eat the cake, otherwise you'll waste away.
You just think, what the, what are you doing, Mum?
Do you want me to be unattractive to the entire... That's a lot of human drama in this program.
Yeah.
And that's the key.
That's what you want, isn't it?
That's what you want.
I mean, do you ever watch these shows?
I watched Hairy Bikers by accident once, and it was...
I've watched Hairy Bikers.
It's quite good.
My lady friend likes that kind of show.
There's one called Britain's Best Dish or something on at the moment.
Isn't there?
I don't know.
The answer is no.
It's not a buddy show though.
I don't know what it is.
We're talking specifically about, it seems to be Pears.
I did watch Scare the Hair.
That's a different flipping topic.
I saw that as well.
But listen, we'll just confuse people.
So we're after your ideas for high concept cookery shows.
It's all about the title and it's all about the sort of juxtaposition of crazy presenters and the task you give them, right?
Yeah.
You got any more?
No, I peeked at skin burden.
You did.
It was a very high peak.
Get those coming in.
The text number is 64046.
The email is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and remember if you don't think of anything brilliant now you still submit your thoughts during the week and they may appear in retro text the nation in the podcast.
No, what?
Yeah, no, next week in the show.
Yeah, what you said.
Uh, MGMT now from their album of last year, congratulations, says here on our fun fact sheet, the band once dressed for, I'll start again.
The band once performed dressed as the gang from Scooby Doo.
Is that a good thing?
It's w w wacky w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w
How do you pronounce that?
Alo Blatch.
Black.
Alo Black.
I need a dollar, that is called.
Very nice stuff.
Indeed, Adam Buxton here with Joe Cornish on the Big British Castle digital station number six.
And very pleased to be with you this afternoon.
Now we've got a sort of bumper travelling tales section.
Morning.
Morning.
This morning it's not the afternoon yet.
You said this afternoon, the morning.
We haven't pushed through the noon barrier.
I thought you were just saying morning.
Morning.
Have we not pushed through the noob?
No.
I hadn't heard the pop.
Exactly, but you said, uh, you said... Sorry about that.
We would have got a lot of letters.
Let's have a Travelling Tales jingle.
It's very loud.
It's good.
It's an aggressive, very aggressive, aggressively fun jingle.
Now we're going to have a couple of Traveling Tales sections in the show today because we've got sort of two areas of Traveling Tales appearing.
One just various random traveling tales.
There'll be a lot of tales to tell.
Oh, so many tales to tell about the travel era.
And another area that is crazy train announcers, right?
And this is turning into a bit of a thing with people identifying... But this is exciting.
This is a really exciting development that's happened in this narrative, this story about this amazing train driver.
Are you going to talk us through this?
Well, we're going to listen to him in just a second, but here's another one right now.
This is from Ben.
He says greetings.
I took this recording many years ago this fantastic train manager or conductor Always made me smile when he was on the Tannoy So I was very pleased that I managed to get him on tape apologies for the sound quality You have to wait for the end to really get the full force of his personality Bear in mind that this recording was taken during the day probably around two or three in the afternoon I believe it was the Bristol to Swansea train, but it was so long ago I can't really remember but this is Nigel the train manager in action here.
He is I
Hello everyone, this is Nigel, retail service manager speaking.
Just to let you know that the shop is still open and we've still got those lovely hot snacks, cold snacks, hot drinks, cold drinks, crisps, nuts, sweets, headsets for the onboard entertainment, books, magazines.
Playing cards, as I said on several occasions.
So come on down, the price is right.
Be pleased to serve you.
Thank you!
Night night!
Hey, look at that!
He gets a little chuckle there.
Of course he does, he was describing almost every single item in the shop.
I think he made a few up as well.
Bye bye!
Thank you!
Night night!
We did that on an old show, didn't we?
Ways to say goodbye, ways to sign off.
Bye!
But that's a good one.
I haven't quite heard it sung in that way before.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, he really lifted the spirits of that train, don't you think?
It sounded like a party on the train.
What a great guy.
But the thing is, that I should say at this point before we continue with these clips, I am someone who is naturally not that much of a fan of that kind of behaviour.
Why?
Because I am Grumpy, and the Grumpy man, and I like peace and quiet!
So it would depend on how often he does that.
I mean, basically he had... Oh, no!
I've spilled my drink all over the desk.
Fizzy pop spillage!
Basically he had... Keep talking, keep talking.
Basically he had not much to say, did he?
He was saying the shop is still open.
The shop's still open, and he's the manager.
I can't believe it, it's fizzy coke as well and it's gone everywhere.
Oh no, sticky disaster!
Missed the keyboard, luckily.
Well listen, let's have another clip though while the cleanup team come in.
No no no, this is from Sergeant Mark Brown, Leeds Light Infantry Black Squadron, and he says, dearest Dr Buckles and head surgeon Cornballs, I'm writing to you with special news.
Last Sunday evening I happened to be travelling from Peckham Rye to London Bridge, engrossed in a portable telephone conversation with a friend.
I paid little attention to the announcement on boarding the train.
Then, out of the corner of my ear, it dawned on me that it was the strange man slash robot that has featured in the past two shows.
I aborted the telephone chat.
These are clips that we played of the train announcer on this Peckham train.
I aborted the telephone chat with immediate effect.
I have a clip for your pleasure and interview with said announcer.
So Mark went up to the train announcer, as we had asked people to do, and had a little chat with him.
um so here's what happened excuse me yeah could you tell me is it you just the voice announcement it is do you realize that you're becoming famous on the radio really yeah hey which one show called adam and joe and what stage is that on it's on six music on a saturday morning oh really you've been on twice now and people actually record it yeah people are recording you
and it's on the radio.
How do you debate whether you're actually a recorded voice or a real person?
If you tune in at 10, you become a member of Black Squadron, an elite listening force, but that's between me and you.
I think you're going to become famous.
That's amazing, Sergeant Mark Brown.
Good work.
He should get some kind of award.
Well, he's immediately given a special Black Squadron commendation.
As are the Adam and Joe team here who have rushed in with lots of napkins to clean up the spillage.
Thank you very much indeed.
That's incredible, though.
What an amazing guy.
And he'd clearly heard of the show.
He was just being modest.
Of course he was.
His name, the driver, is Ralph Zanellotti.
He's been a train driver in and around London for the last
three years.
And I think, uh, do we have a clip of another clip of Ralph?
Here we go.
No way!
So he reigned himself in a little bit there, because sometimes when he says Peckham it's Peckham.
Peckham.
Rye.
But we got our own little jingle there from Mr. Sanilotti.
That is incredible.
We're very privileged.
Thank you.
And what an amazing job you do.
We salute you.
Absolutely.
We're going to have a bit more Travelling Tales later on in the show, but right now it's 11.30 and it's time for the news.
So, Madness with Embarrassment, this is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
I hope you're doing well, listeners, in all aspects of your lives.
I'm going to do... I'm going to fire off a little quiz right now, Joe, for you.
I want you to respond to the following questions as honestly and fully as possible.
How do you respond in the following situations?
Someone says... This is the You Look Well quiz, right?
Someone says, You Look Well.
How do you respond?
Hey, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
So do you write so you reciprocate?
Yeah, and would you reciprocate even if they didn't look well Even if they had like their nose hanging on what I would do is I would hesitate or my voice would waver Well, you know you look well, I don't I push it slightly too hard So it was clear that they didn't write but that would be inadvertent And then what do you do if you proffer a you look well, but you don't get one in return and
Do you feel a bit hurt by that?
Possibly, possibly.
Yeah, possibly.
Do you maybe fish for the you look well?
I get told I look tired a lot.
Right, I hate that.
My dad tells me I look tired a lot.
He's probably listening, so I love it.
Some people just look tired.
I've figured that out in my life.
Do you think?
I think I just look tired.
I'm just a tired guy.
But I mean I know there have been moments where I don't look tired.
I think it's a euphemism for you're getting old.
Right.
You look rough.
That's basically what I think.
When people say that to me I just think, thanks you've told me I look.
How am I doing on the quiz though?
You're doing well.
I'm glad that you reciprocate with the you look well.
I don't like people who don't.
You must reciprocate.
You always reciprocate.
It's like offering someone a drink when they come round to your house.
Don't say no to the drink.
No.
Have water at least.
It is tricky sometimes if people really don't look well and you feel like you have to reciprocate with a very insincere.
You, yeah, you, yeah.
You know?
I would switch it up.
I would go for something like, oh great to see you.
Right.
It's so good to see you.
Sure.
So you find another positive that can balance that out.
Because the other thing that sometimes happens is someone goes in with a you look well but you really don't feel you deserve it.
Right.
And so then you think, what's their agenda?
Yeah, so it's sort of counterintuitive.
They're trying to make up for the fact that in their eyes is a look of horror.
Yes.
And stench.
You look well.
You look really well.
I like what you've done with your face.
That's nice.
Is this a quiz you've got from some magazine or have you formulated this quiz?
No, I was just thinking about it.
So it's not like there won't be a result?
yes there is a result you've passed wizard that's exciting yeah no I know what you mean hmm it's tricky because sometimes you think well they're just saying you look well you sort of think are you insane because I don't look well or are you just trying to be crawly
I haven't.
What do you say you fishing for one back?
What do you say?
If it's a beautiful woman and it's a special event and the woman has clearly, or it could be a man, but has clearly made a sartorial efforts.
You look fantastic.
That's a slightly different thing.
You look, Oh, you look wonderful.
I think because that's acceptable flirting, isn't it?
Making a comment on how great a woman looks when she's clearly made an effort and you're allowed to mention it.
Well, if you say it like
You look absolutely fantastic.
You've made a real effort.
Oh God, look at you.
You look good enough to chew.
You've made a special effort and let me tell you it's paid off.
Look at your décolletage.
That's very good.
Ooh, look at the way the dress is hanging off you in all parts.
Well done, may I say.
A round of applause.
What if the person has made a special sartorial effort and it's a disaster, but they don't know it.
They swan into a party, their hair's over to the left, the dress is green and poo coloured.
Did you mention that?
Woah, what happened there?
No, I mean, would you say that to the person?
No, you'd go, you look amazing.
You look a disaster.
Because people sometimes... Well, candidness is the other tricky thing.
And this used to happen when I was a teenager and I had terrible spots.
We've discussed this before.
There would be a certain person who would come up to you and go,
Look at that enormous zit!
Look at that huge strawberry on the end of your nose.
Well done.
And you said, I think, why would you possibly think that was a fun thing to say?
Yeah, it's not as if I haven't spent all morning desperately trying to cover it with cover-up stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
And almost didn't come into school because of it.
But maybe some people would genuinely like it and get quite turned on by it.
Like in how to get ahead in advertising.
Do you remember that?
When they try and turn it as, is it a zitty girl into a pop star?
They like fasten onto that as the latest trend.
I've got to watch that film again.
This is very rambly link.
This is rambly link, isn't it?
Let's get back on track with some music.
This is Noah and the Whale.
And after this, I think we'll have a bit of text the nation.
Why not?
This is tonight's the kind of night.
he's made the decision to say good change and that's kind of transformed the whole song it becomes like a hook in a way sorry I bust in on the little reversal bit at the end there Noah and the whale very nice job indeed chaps give yourselves a little pat on the back there this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 music let's have the text the nation jingle James
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, it's all gone quiet.
Oh, deary me.
Hello and welcome to Text the Nation.
This week the subject is ideas for high concept cookery shows.
Here are some quick fire text responses we've had.
George in Leighton Stone pitches Freebie and the Bean.
Well, that was a TV show.
It was a cop show, right?
No, no, no.
It's an old movie.
Freebie and the Bean.
One freeloading scruffy student type coupled with a self-righteous vegan.
So Freebie, the student, Bean, the vegan.
Nice.
Any good?
I like it.
Commissioned?
What?
A self-righteous student with a... One freeloading scruffy student type coupled with a self-righteous vegan.
Freebie and the Bean.
Freebie and the Bean.
I really like it.
Commissioned?
I'm commissioned.
Wow.
Bucky Lee's commissions that one.
This is from, uh, this is from Andrew and Sarah in Seton.
I think that's what they mean in Seton.
Delaval.
I don't know what that means.
They're sitting on seats in Delaval.
They're in Seton.
Sweeney Toddler is the name of the show.
Nice.
A children's cookery show where the main ingredient is always human flesh.
Eaten by a toddler.
No, it's for children, but you wouldn't feed anyone the food.
I mean, it's made of human flesh.
That's disgusting.
Sweeney toddler.
I like it.
Commissioned?
Yeah.
Wow.
I commission most things.
You're very commission happy today.
I've got a lot of money in my bags.
James in Greenwich, 12 angry men.
They don't start out angry, but the logistical challenge of booking for such a large number at short notice invariably leads to arguments.
They go round restaurants, they're not actually doing cooking.
I'd find it a little enervating.
No.
James's production company is absolutely reliant on this commission.
Is he getting commissioned?
I'm so sorry.
Come back when you've honed the concept.
Terrible news for James.
Here is one from an anonymous texter.
My cooking idea is called Jamaican Me Hungry.
A couple of people from Jamaica cook some food.
I like it.
Oh, that's from Johnny Slow.
Commissioned?
I very much like it.
Yes, I'm commissioned for that one.
OK, onto emails.
Corinne Long.
She's pitching Missy and Hissy.
A stressed mother tries to feed their fussy daughter regional dishes cooked by fantastic local chefs.
Every episode ends with the mum giving up and buying the daughter crisps.
Yeah, that's good, that's good.
Trying to introduce children to new food is always a fun thing.
But failing every week.
Yeah.
And just ending up with crisps.
Ending up with crisps, yeah.
I mean, people like repetition, don't they?
Different ways of presenting crisps.
They like familiarity.
Yeah.
And to have the same ending each week would be good.
Here is one from Jillian in Salford.
Her pitch is... So that's commissioned, is it?
Missy and Hissy.
Missy and Hissy, yeah.
Like it did.
That's amazing.
I mean, that's four or five commissions?
Yeah.
That's a lot of cookery shows.
I like it.
Are you looking for a lot of cookery shows?
You can't have enough cookery shows, you absolute moron.
One Handed Cooking is the show from Gillian in Salford.
One person, one hand, three great dishes.
I was going to say something so awful then, but I didn't.
Cracking an egg with one hand has always been a big... Alright, I'm putting that away.
Gillian, you sent that to the wrong program.
I want more one-handed cooking.
You sent that to the wrong show.
I'm the one-handed chef.
We're too immature to just deal with the words one-handed.
Here we go.
Here is a letter from Will in Leeds.
Hi Adam and Joe.
I had an idea for a restaurant that could easily translate to the TV format.
Okay, this is the last one.
It's called Hey Pesto.
Hey Pesto.
It would involve Darren Brown convincing customers they're eating fine Italian food when they're actually at home in bed.
Later, Deron, he spelt it Deron with an O-N, would reveal the truth at their bedside only for them to leave the house and find their whole house has been moved to Italy.
That's the big twist.
It's not really a cooking show, is all I'd say.
I think it sounds fun and it might be a fun special for Darren to do.
It's not looking good, Will.
But it's not really a cooking show with two lovable lunatics.
Will's got a new production company.
He's hired 15 people and an office and he's betting it all on Hey Pesto.
And they're all single mums.
They're all single mums.
Well tough luck mums!
It's time to look for another job!
Here's a free play for you right now, listeners.
And this comes from something that James, our producer, pointed out to me.
He gave me some CDs of an interview that David Bowie did in 1979 on Radio One when he was promoting the album Lodger.
And what he did was went on there and selected a whole load of his favourite tracks that he was listening to currently and his favours of all time, and spoke very briefly about each one.
It's called the Star Special.
from 1979 and James was talking about maybe trying to get hold of it and broadcast it somehow on 6.
He even got in touch with Bowie's people and I think they said that Bowie would be happy for that to happen.
For the show to be repeated.
He picks out some amazing tracks there and it's only frustrating that he doesn't speak at greater length about them but here's one of the ones that's a bit more well known he picks out from John Lennon's first solo album Plastic Ono Band 1970.
Here's David just saying a few brief words about the track Remember.
that's a good way to end a song though isn't it just a bit of just an explosion that was John Lennon there with remember from 1970 the choice of David Bowie on the Star Special first broadcast in May 1979 and I think that he probably heard that and was then inspired to write oh you pretty things don't you think that sort of piano figure is very reminiscent of that track you know what I think you're doing what
I think you're trying to get serious.
I am getting serious.
About Bowie so that we kind of clear away the sort of stupidity.
The poo stench.
The poo stench, the sort of wizzer, the wizzer wizziness.
Oh I see.
I think you're trying not to do, oh wizzer, wizzer, wizzer anymore because you want to get serious because you want to position yourself for the actual Bowie encounter.
Yes.
Is that what's happening?
Subconsciously I must be.
Subconsciously you're trying to clean out that cupboard because you've been talking about Bowie now for a couple of minutes and there hasn't been a single wizzer.
That's absolutely true.
That's more like it!
We're through the noon barrier, ladies and gentlemen.
And that was Woohoo by the 5678s.
Need to work a little bit harder on the lyrics there, guys.
That's a lot of stupid noises.
We need to pay a little bit more attention to the words.
It's probably just for little kids.
Think about what you want to say and then write it down, mate.
What?
Mate?
No, I'm just saying.
Mate?
Mate?
Mate, I'm not, I'm not asking you anything.
Here's a message from Richard Soden.
Do you remember a while back you clipped out all the oohs and aahs from an episode of The Archers?
Yes, I made a very erotic episode of The Archers just by cutting out all the actual words and leaving in the...
That's right.
He says, and Richard Sodden calls us Stretch and Furry.
Wow, people are being very inventive with their namanising.
How do you feel about Stretch and Furry?
I like it.
Well, that's things we've called each other in the past.
Yo, Stretch!
Yo, Furry!
One guy.
He likes it.
Shedding the clouds.
In one of these Podmax episodes, says Richard Sodden, sorry, I'm just going to start that again for the podcast, James.
In one of the PodMax podcast episodes, Joe's extracted oohs and aahs and sighs from an episode of The Archers put a whole new spin on my farm-based listening pleasure.
But enough is enough!
Those dirty, dirty writers at Radio 4 have pushed the boat out too far.
Last week's omnibus edition is full of innuendo and smut.
Dirty, dirty smut.
Sounds disgraceful.
You only need to add a little dirty music, and you've got the makings of a Robin Asquith Triple X feature.
In fact, I might well do it.
Well, he happily, uh, he kindly supplied the time codes, so I did it instead.
Thank you very much, Richard Soden, and here's what the results were.
We're having some of Tom's pork.
Ooh, that sounds nice.
I'll just go and give Tony a call.
Yeah, he's in the yard doing something to a tractor.
Two family members on the PC again.
Yes, let's hope so.
Still needs a lot of work with a wire wall before we're ready to start.
Yes, I see.
It has to be absolutely clean and shiny.
So, lots of polishing.
Yes.
Are you in?
Yep.
Hope it wasn't awkward for you.
No, Jill, it was fine.
Thank you for picking me up.
So how was it?
It's got dozens of different shades.
Goes hard in the kiln?
Yes, almost like magic.
Comes out very smooth and shiny and delicate.
Oh, that does sound interesting.
Yes.
Come on.
That's disgusting.
That is absolutely filthy.
That is the dirtiest program.
The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard the dirtiest program I have ever heard.
It was called The Archers.
Who was that from?
That was from Richard Soden.
Richard, well done.
That was amazing.
Good effort, Richard Soden.
Thank you very much.
If you find anything else similarly dirty out there, please... Yes, we're going to become the new sort of Mary White House.
Yeah.
We're looking, yeah, for innuendo, where you wouldn't expect it.
Any kind of dirt or filth out there, please send it in so we can play it and stamp it out.
Ooh!
I interrupted your funny voice there and you very well just sort of paused it, waited for me to finish and then picked it up again.
That was good.
Thank you very much.
Stamp it, stamp it, stamp it!
Right now, here's Otis Redding with Carla Thomas and Tramp.
mama was Papa too I know that's how babies are born that was Carla Thomas with Otis Redding and Tramp Adam and Joe here on BBC six music now here's a feature it's more of a featurette that we haven't had for a
long time here on the program and I think the jingle kind of says it all so let's fire off the jingle.
I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time.
To make them refer to things I do.
I call it pothole creation and as far as I'm aware it isn't a crime.
I wonder if it's something you do
That's right, Popopreation.
Who is that singer?
Donald Fagan.
Really?
From Steely Dan, yes.
Wow.
There you go.
I like it.
I asked him if he had some time.
He said, yep.
And that's what he came up with.
Here's one from John in Westbury's Submendip.
And he says, hi, Adam and Joe.
I just caught myself doing some Popopreation.
Instead of singing Hello, Dolly by Louis Armstrong upon meeting my sister's dogs, I sing, hello, doggies.
Well, hello.
So that's kind of a nice little fun simple one.
Because it's a sort of a doggy voice isn't it?
Yeah.
I mean that's very good that's got extra connectivity.
Armstrong's got the doggy voice.
He's kind of like a jazz boggins.
Exactly.
Like a slightly more fragrant jazz boggins.
Do you think if we you know married boggins and some sort of French horn I could think of where to pop it.
It's so nice to have you back where you belong.
You're looking swell, Dolly.
I can't tell, bloody.
I'm still stinking, you're still thinking that smells quite strong.
I think an album of Boggins covering, like, classic Louis Armstrong would sell like hotcakes this Christmas.
I feel the band.
Do a bit of Wonderful World.
And I think to myself, one wonderful smell.
I love you.
So thank you very much to John in Westbury Submended for that one.
Here's one from Nick Clark.
Do you think it's Nicky Clark?
It's Nick Clegg.
It's Nick Clegg.
When going through airport security these days, I'm always asked whether I have in my possession any liquids, gels, or pastes, which I then like to sing to the tune of Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves by Cher for the whole of the subsequent flight.
Liquids, gels, and pastes, please can you ensure they're not in your suitcase?
That's good!
And finally, for pop appropriation this week,
We've got one from Mac, long time listener, first time contributor.
Also a man person from Swiss Slack Squadron, Basel Division.
Lots of good contextual detail.
Dear Dr. Bucky Lees and Sir Cornobulus Balls.
Yes, thank you at last.
At last, my full official title.
Someone's looked me up in, um, de Bretz.
That's right.
A little bit of pop-op-reation I enjoy on a regular basis is thusly.
When I feel hungry, I like to sing to the tune of I Want You from The Beatles' Abbey Road.
I want food.
I want food.
I want food so bad.
It's driving me mad.
It's driving me mad.
I want food!
I want food so bad!
I want food!
I want food so bad!
It's drivin' me mad!
It's drivin' me!
Da-na-na-na!
Da-na-na-na!
Boom-ba-do-ba-do-boom!
Da-na-na-na!
Da-na-na-na!
She's so hungry!
Hungry!
Hungry!
I'm staging an intervention.
All right.
That'll be nothing if you don't know that track.
But good effort there, Mac, from Basildivision.
Basildivision.
Basildivision.
Yeah, that's how it's pronounced.
Basildivision.
Swiss slack squadron.
And if you've got any more popopriation that you'd like to supply us through the week,
Please send them in.
Your email address is adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk and that's the address for anything.
Text the nation, retro text the nation, pop appropriation, travelling tales, beefs, spats, wiffles, waffles or chods.
And here is Overkill River.
Imagine the post we're going to get now.
Sorry I came out by accident.
I called them Overkill River, they're Ockeville River.
It's one of those things you see written down and your brain simply won't process it any other way, like shop fitters and shoplifters on the side of a van.
Anyway, here's a free play for you right now, listeners.
And this is one of the many songs that I've enjoyed discovering on Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour, which I've mentioned before, even today.
I'm sort of going through all those programs one by one.
It's amazing if you've never heard it.
We broadcast them on 6music a while back, and you can buy them on CD I think.
But he's got so many good little nuggets that he pops in there, and his links are a joy.
I'm gonna maybe pull some out for you next week with Garth and play them for you.
But this is a track that I heard on there by a guy called King Stitt, aka Winston Sparks.
He was born with a facial deformity,
and so decided that a good thing to do if he wanted a kind of thing for a recording career to hang a career on would be just to call himself the ugly one and so do loads of stuff about the fact that he reckoned he was the ugly one and so he has formed a kinship in his mind with Lee Van Cleef star of the good the bad and the ugly of course and so this track starts off with him kind of telling Clint Eastwood that uh he's rot I think that's what he says Clint Eastwood is rot
and then he says I am Lee Van Cleef and it starts off and the track is quite chirpy and he's basically right the way through just saying die die die which you don't get on too many pop songs these days King Stit with Lee Van Cleef
And still sounds as challenging and as avant-garde and out there as it did the day it was released.
That's the sugar cubes with birthday and Bjork singing on top.
Who's that supposed to be?
I don't know.
I started speaking that way and didn't really think it through.
We're going to have another little traveler's tale because we've got a good issue here to think about.
Have a jingle.
I'm a travelin' Tails, travelin' Tails, Tails, I'm travelin' on a train, or an automobile, or an aeroplane, I wanna know what you're travelin' Tails.
All aboard the Skyline!
I mean, that's a good, it's a good jingle.
I mean, it is a good jingle.
You know what I did this week?
You look, you look really well.
Thanks, so do you.
That's a good jingle.
Thank you very much.
Here we go.
Here's an interesting situation that's come in from a person called Pleaser Devise.
There's no name on this.
Maybe we could find out the name of this person.
Dear Adam and Joe, what is the right thing to do in this situation?
I get on a bus.
It's very busy.
I go upstairs.
The only free seat is right at the back next to a lady who, because I'm married, I do not notice, has silky hair and perfect skin and ruby red lips which seem to kiss themselves.
She moves her hand back so I can sit next to her.
That's nice of her.
What a nice lady.
We sit next to each other for five minutes.
Then the bus reaches a big tube station where nearly everybody gets off.
Now the top deck is almost empty.
There's no reason for me to be sitting next to the lady.
I'm sure she would like me to move.
If there was a hairy man sitting next to me, I'd want him to move.
But what if I moved and she thought I hated sitting next to her?
Wouldn't that hurt her feelings?
If I stay, will she think I fancy her?
I don't because I'm married.
I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable.
There's no way I'm going to make eye contact with her now.
I need to work out her mood from the tiny area of physical contact.
Is her right thigh trying to politely shrink away from my left thigh?
I think so.
It's hard to advise.
It's hard to tell.
Please advise.
Now that is a quandary that I have as well.
It happens on the underground when you get into a very full carriage and the carriage clears out and you find yourself sitting right next to another person and there's no need for you to have that proximity.
What do you do?
Do you move?
And thereby insult the person?
In these situations, and you can extrapolate, you know, and you can say that this applies to a lot of things in life, honesty is the best policy.
Right.
You just state the subtext.
So you just say... You talk to the person?
Yeah, you just say, right, I'll stretch out, give you a bit of room.
Yeah that's a good point.
This communication has come in from Simon.
Yeah well Simon I would say that that is one tactic and actually you've said it yourself I know what you're saying you don't really want to upset the girl and somewhere in your mind as well is the chance that maybe she doesn't want you to move.
You can go the other way which is take advantage of the fact that you're now alone.
And then climb on top of her.
Yes swing a leg over and you do it it's like when you yawn
You yawn and then you put the arm around.
The other thing to do is just to cross your legs like that, but take the leg a bit too far and go right over her leg.
Oh, sorry, my legs are... I'm terribly sorry, I've accidentally straddled you.
But it doesn't matter, no one has seen, neither of us can be embarrassed.
Let's go!
And when I'm saying let's go, you know what I mean.
Let's go!
Very assertive.
Let's go to prison.
You don't do anything then unless she goes, yes!
Or she might just smack, probably punch you in the face and knee you in the bits and bobs.
Mace you.
Wow.
You're married though.
Bottom line Simon is you move away immediately from that attractive woman.
Move away, move away from the attractive woman.
Don't sit down next to her in the first place.
No, step away.
You should stand off of the seat to a little hobbit or something and just don't even get into that situation.
Stay away from attractive people.
Taking public transport is so difficult.
it really is so many problems here's another message to illustrate that fact vividly this is from beth richmond dear adam and joe it was a very snowy morning and i was on my way to work all the trains were cancelled and there was a bus replacement service to another station irritated by the disruption i got on the bus and got comfortable
There was no one sitting next to me.
Result!
I began to relax and read my book.
Then a woman walked on and took the seat to my right.
I was outraged!
Not only did she choose the seat next to me, but she had a drink that was very smelly and she had a cold and was coughing a lot!
She was also wearing a hat which in my frustrated state I found very annoying as it had ears.
I felt that only children should wear hats with animal ears, so I was incensed, as you can imagine.
I decided that I needed to tell someone about this annoying situation, so I began to text my boyfriend to tell him what a horrible morning I was having and how it had been topped off by this woman sitting next to me with a smelly drink, a cough, and a silly hat with ears, even though she must have been at least 25 years old.
As my thumb hovered over the send button,
The woman next to me leaned over and said, in a very harsh tone, I can't help having a cough, and actually I'm 35, not 25.
I was stunned.
She then said, and I can wear what I like.
I was utterly, utterly, utterly shocked and angered that she had read my text.
But the strongest emotion was embarrassment that I'd been caught out texting by a total stranger.
about that stranger.
We sat in silence for another three excruciating minutes.
I felt that I had to respond to her comments in some way, so I said, well, at least I thought that you were ten years younger than you actually are.
She forced a thin smile.
We then had to sit next to each other on that bus for a further thirty minutes, me pretending to read my book but crying inside.
We then got off the bus and proceeded to get on the packed train and had to stand next to each other for another thirty minutes.
I will never text about strangers ever again.
Wow.
Thanks for reading this out.
Very good thinking for the old, you know, I thought you were younger than you were.
Yeah.
I mean, that's very good to pull a positive out of that melange.
That is a disaster area, isn't it?
It is a disaster.
Listen, the best thing to do, listeners, our advice, don't leave the house.
For goodness sake, stay inside!
Well, I was going to throw to the news that it's a little early and no one wants early news.
You know, there's only one thing worse than bad news, and that's early news.
I'll take this opportunity to say don't forget listeners that we have a podcast available of this show.
James Sterling, our wonderful producer, our Sterling producer even, is going to edit it and put it up on the on the, you know, on the places on the internet.
That's what I was
Looking for later today.
That's right.
Isn't it James and I will be in my shed later on this evening with a glass of fine wine and a candle Number of candles.
I like special candles and I'll be wearing just a bathrobe you realize you will eventually Be lost in a shed fire
You reckon?
Yeah, one evening on the news it'll be terrible, shed, con-, what, how do you say, uh, con-, what's the word?
Yeah, I know the word you mean.
Conflagration?
Conflagration is exactly right.
Is it?
Yes, yes.
Yeah, it's not a conurbation, that's a collection of towns.
Um, yeah, conflagration.
Is that right?
Yeah, it is, yes, yes.
And, um, fire crews arrived too late.
The only sound they could hear from inside- You'll be drunk and you'll be so self-absorbed.
Was the sound of chuckling from Dr. Buckles.
You'll be so dangerously lethally self-absorbed.
Listen to himself on the podcast.
You'll have inserted your head right into the cupboard.
12.30.
It's time for the news.
Hi, this is Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys.
And that was my song.
And I want to say I'm going to be on Sean Keeney's Breakfast Show on Monday, chatting to Matt Everitt from
from the station and I'm going to be talking about the re... is this disrespectful?
Possibly, possibly in quite a few ways.
I'm joking.
Brian Wilson, he's a music legend and of course responsible for that track that we just heard.
and he is talking to, I mean this is a big deal, Matt Everett was chatting to him and it's going to be played out on Sean Keveny's show on Monday talking about the reissue of Smile and he's going to be talking as well about the art of producing and his drive to write new songs and whether he'll ever perform again with the remaining Beach Boys lineup and all that can be heard on Monday.
That's exciting.
I wonder which reissue of Smile is because there was one that came out a few years back where he'd recreated all the songs in my view somewhat pointlessly.
I wonder if this one is going back to the original recordings that they started and then abandoned back in the 60s.
I'll be interested to find out.
Sean Keeney's show on Monday.
Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
Now, we've got a few messages in about the new series of The Apprentice that's on.
Have you been watching, Joe?
I've missed it so far, but the messages say that one of the contestants possibly looks a bit like me.
People have said that about, very flatteringly I think, because I think it's patently ridiculous, about Fernando Torres, the football man.
But I like that because it's flattering, he's a sexy man.
Well this guy is handsome as well.
Vincent Daznier?
No, Daznier.
He's the sort of opposite of Disney.
He's like Disney's arrogant cynical brother, Daznier.
Walt Disney World you go to, the rides are broken, and you can push up.
I don't know, he's not even foreign.
I haven't seen it.
That's not an impression of him, I haven't seen it.
Well we've got a little clip of him actually, I think.
Shall we see if he sounds anything like Cornballs?
Smart.
vivacious, ambitious, extremely passionate, a perfectionist, someone who likes to occasionally show off.
I have an unprecedented amount of business acumen.
I'm a proven model in my industry.
I'm best of breed within it.
I am currently shortlisted as the best sales personality of the year.
I am six music's number one DJ.
I have hairs that are individually polished.
My nose is at an angle that was approved by Michelangelo.
I'm over eight and a half feet tall.
I am considered to be the best at talking by all human beings.
I have the most capacious pockets in Britain.
I have knees that are electronic.
I have recently been proven to be the best in 58 different fields of business.
I have 45,000 secretaries and a company that is the
And I have laser buttocks.
Thank you for rescuing me there with laser buttocks.
You're welcome.
Anytime.
My laser buttocks have rescued many people in their time.
So that's Vincent Disner.
Thank you very much to Wilhelm Tapcho.
I'm flattered, though.
He's a handsome, thrusting man.
And in fact, I've got the Apprentice BBC website up here.
And the main photo of Disneyland, Walt Disney, doesn't look very like me, but there's a little one in the bottom corner that rather does.
because he's looking a bit toothy and he's got similar hair to you he's got the slightly and i don't mean this in a bad way richard madely hair yeah very true i often say to my lady girlfriend that i look like richard my hair does go very richard madely i like it i'm gonna just go richard madely soon i'm gonna turn to richard madely
Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.
No bad thing.
He's a very sexy man.
I like him so much.
Joe Martin also pointed that out.
She's a female, Joe, and Deptford.
And it's a good series.
I didn't realise it had started again.
But I went in there, series number, you know, programme number two, bang, iPhone apps.
Or, you know, smartphone apps.
Oh, is that what they were inventing?
Yeah.
Oh, that sounds quite fun.
It was a peach.
You know what I miss?
What?
Her hair is like a cloud.
Sure.
Mountsford.
It's just not the same.
You reckon?
Without Margaret.
But the other two are still very good.
And what's the name of the ex-football manager lady?
Rontie.
Rontie.
I'm pretty sure it's not Rontie.
Rontie Bags, of course it is.
It's Karen Brady.
Karen Brady.
Oh, of course.
Sorry, I was thinking of a different show.
She's very nice indeed.
But you know, it is upsetting when they get rid of the regulars.
Like, have you been watching Britain's Got Talent with the weird lineup of judges they've got there?
Yeah, sure.
I've seen enough of it with McIntyre and the Hoff and Holden.
Um, not undercover.
I thought McIntyre was doing a great job and the crowd was behind him and everything, but boy, there's a big cowl-shaped hole there.
Um, and it tips it over to have Hoth as the kind of centre of attention.
When Hoth is the anchor of your show, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR SHOW!
I think.
Anyway.
It's like Taffyn all over again.
The other thing that people pointed out.
We're not going to come to that though are we?
A bit later we got some Taffyn fun.
So we have a little Taffyn trailer here right now.
If you go on the internet you might find something slightly Taffyn.
No this is a bit sudden for James.
He can't find the Taffyn thing.
We'll build up to the Taffyn thing.
His fingers are panicking.
We'll come back to the Taffyn thing.
Here we go, Taffen trailer.
Why has that got the music from that Annika Rice program, where she goes and hunts all the... Do you remember that old Channel 4 show with Annika Rice?
Yes!
Play that once more, that's got the music from that on underneath it.
Is it?
Listen.
For Pierce Brosnan, the role of Mark Taffin is unlike any other he has portrayed.
Brosnan is riveting as the hired enforcer, a complex character who by equal turns is... The one where she runs around in her jumpsuit.
Treasure Hunt, wasn't it?
Pierce Brosnan is taffin'.
Was he called Treasure Hunt?
Yeah, where she was always in a helicopter in a jumpsuit.
We need our experts on this one.
You know, get Shazam onto that.
The other thing that was pointed out about The Apprentice by Peter Fellows and others was, well Peter Fellows says, I know you're both avid viewers of The Apprentice and fondly recall the songs you did a few years ago, in particular the one about Margaret Mountford who's sadly no longer on the show.
you may have noticed during the apprentice you're fired on wednesday in the montage of footage lord sugar says nonsense in a very similar manner to how adam has been recently he says please play a clip so other listeners will notice here we go where where is your brain that's nonsense that's nonsense this is a disgrace
You're fired.
You're fired.
That is nonsense!
You're fired.
Oh, that's nonsense.
Is it?
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
No, but the nonsense fucking has gone off.
So there was one nonsense from Sugar at the top there.
I was confused.
He put a lot of our own nonsense in there.
And then it was flooded with our own nonsense.
In order to sort of shore up the point.
It was good though.
He said the word nonsense in an angry voice.
And that's good enough for me.
Thank you very much Peter Fellows for pointing that out.
And I will be watching The Apprentice eagerly again this Wednesday to find out what they get up to.
I will not.
That's balance.
That's balance.
That's balance.
Well, you're going to be in the United States.
Exactly.
So I will not.
You're America.
Congratulations.
Here's some more music right now.
Listeners, this is Friendly Fires with Live Those Days Tonight.
That is a melging of a number of... A melging?
Yeah, I've created that word.
a number of kind of sounds and genres and it's uh put in a big pot there and mixed up by the friendly fires to great effect thank you very much chaps this is adam and joe here on bbc6 music and here is a message that we got in the week incidentally if you would like to contribute in any way to this program with your jingles anything that you've made or drawn or anything you want to say or contribute to any of our
topics.
It's adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk.
That is the email address throughout the week if you're listening to this show on Listen Again or whatever.
Don't text us during the week.
It'll just vanish!
Did we tell listeners that Taffen is actually on BBC One on the 22nd of May?
Is it?
Yeah.
Good effort.
If you want to catch Brosnan doing some incredibly powerful... Then maybe you shouldn't be living here!
Then tune into BBC One on the 22nd of May.
Here's a message from Lewis who says, and this kind of slightly reminded me of our Texanation subject, which was the Cook's, you know, the new formulas for cooking programs.
Dear Adam and Joe, I was reading an article about how to make the perfect chilli con carne and remembered something that had happened to me a few years ago that I thought would make a good Texanation subject.
My parents went away one weekend so I decided to have some friends over and cook a huge pot of chilli to make burritos.
I wanted this to be a really really great chilli so I started about 12 in the afternoon aiming to eat about 8 at night.
I put all the good stuff in the pot and then left it bubbling away on a low heat for the rest of the day.
My friends came over about 6 and we all started drinking.
At 8 o'clock we decided that instead of eating the chilli we'd go to the pub for a little bit.
It had been cooking all day so another hour would just make it more delicious.
We came back at 11 o'clock, a little bit tooty and really hungry.
Everyone else went into the living room to listen to music and I was left to finish the dinner.
I chopped up some coriander to make it extra delicious and as I was throwing it in I noticed that I'd nicked one of my fingers with the knife and I was bleeding quite profusely.
A large red pool of blood was sitting on top of the chilli
What sort of a letter is this?
It's from a vampire.
So I had a quandary.
Did I throw it away?
It was delicious.
Did I throw away my delicious chilli that I'd worked on so hard all day and make something else, or did I just stir in the blood and not mention to anyone what had happened?
So I put a plaster on my finger, served up the chilli, and never told anyone about the blood.
It's still generally agreed that it was the best chilli I ever made.
Lots of love, Lewis.
That's terrible.
If anyone's seen a Japanese film called Confessions, which I highly recommend, they won't like that story.
I mean, Lewis, you're basically like... I think it's Japanese.
He's a kind of Sweeney Todd with a twist, isn't it?
Like, he's serving up... I think that's absolutely not the thing to do.
I think you throw the flippin' chilli away.
Yeah, you reckon.
Yeah, you don't.
You just don't.
You know?
I would like to say, on behalf of the big British castle, don't bleed into food.
Obviously don't bleed into food.
But I mean, if you've got like a little drop, would you draw the line?
Yeah, I kind of would.
Was it a little tiny drop?
Well, no, he's saying it's a big pool of blood.
Well, in that case, yeah.
I don't know.
Even if it was just a little drop, you'd suck it.
Yeah.
Well, no, hang on.
If it's hot food and it's being boiled, then you might be all right?
I don't know.
A doctor could... I mean, what am I talking about?
I'm a doctor.
So, yeah, throw the food away.
Throw the food away.
Er on the side of caution.
Get rid of it and start again.
It's not worth it.
Did you know that many diseases are carried in the blood?
I did know that.
I did know that.
I mean, it would be a shame if he found out retrospectively.
It's not worth it.
However tasty the chili con carne is, it just isn't worth it.
But if your friends were vampires... Then it's a different kettle of chili con carne.
They would thank you for it.
They would be upset if you hadn't nicked your finger.
Here's a bit of free play fun.
This is Joe Jackson and somebody just texted earlier and requested this.
We don't really do requests but as I hadn't got any free plays, I can't remember the person's name because it's gone down on the text screen but you know who you are if you're still listening and this is a great track.
This is Joe Jackson with Steppin' Out.
With Stepping Out, that's one of those songs you can put on a playlist and when you're in a party situation and whenever it pops up, everyone will say, oh, this song, this is great.
Yeah, everyone over 35.
This is Adam and Joe, this is BBC6 Music.
Thanks very much for listening listeners, thanks for all your contributions.
Don't forget this programme will be available as a podcast from the usual outlets from later this afternoon stroke early evening.
You can also listen to it via listen again on the BBC iPlayer and we, well I won't be back but next week Adam will be co-presenting with the fantastic Garth Jennings and there'll be a song wars.
There will be a song wars.
So tune in for that
excitement.
I mean it's going to be a strange show I suppose and we lovely see Garth again but one of your functions you know on this show one of your many functions is to carry with you a large bucket of scorn to be used to... It's going to be an unusually positive show.
... pour on some of my more excessive moments so I will be... Garth is more like complicit he's more...
Garth is super positive and smiley and he lets me get away with murder so it might be just a horrifically ludicrous shouty, stupid, lavatorial show next week so look forward to that.
Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw, she's coming up next and right now we've got the Stranglers for you but have a lovely week, take care, I love you, bye!