The Adam and Joe Archive - Adam And Joe (18 October 2008)

It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio.

There'll be some music and some random talking in between.

And then eventually the whole thing will just end.

That was Aretha Franklin with Baby I Love You from 1967.

This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning.

Good morning, Adam.

Good morning, Joe.

How are you doing?

I'm all right.

Thanks very much.

Bye.

Bye then.

We'll see you next week.

Thanks for listening.

Bye.

See you next week.

Thanks a lot.

Bye.

Oh, that was quick.

It felt really, really flew by.

It was a fast show this week.

It was.

You can tell when it's going well because it really, really whizzes by.

It went well.

That clever thing you said about, about good morning.

Saying good morning to you when you asked me.

That was smart.

I just came right back with it, did you?

It's natural now, isn't it?

When you said to me, good morning, I just sort of thought, what would be a funny thing to say?

And I just said good morning right back, but in kind of a upbeat way.

Yeah, that's why you get the laughter.

Yeah, that's true, isn't it?

They're much heavier.

They've got an L. You could really do some damage with them.

Yeah.

So this morning, Listers, we've got great music coming up, haven't we?

We've got some terrific free plays.

And of course... Did that not sound sincere?

I was just desperate when you look through the playlist and you say, ooh, look at the music.

Some people listen for the music.

Of course they do.

We've got some cheese, some merry change.

Have we?

We've got some Santo gold.

brilliant yeah well some ting tings oh have you got these have you got the ting tings album yet no come on no granddad I'm past that kind of thing are you really yeah I don't buy things just cuz the mags tell me to yeah I don't even buy the mags so no one tells me to really

Yeah.

You're missing out on the mags.

It's all about mags from Aha, is it?

It's amazing.

Mags?

He's very handsome.

He's an extraordinary piece of work, isn't it?

But seriously, a serious tease, though, for later on in the show.

We are going to be joined by... Has he won any Oscars?

No, but he's one a Sirness.

He's one a Sirness?

Yeah, he's a Sir, so you do have to respect that.

He's a knight.

I call him Sir Roger.

It's nice to have a knight in the big British castle.

It is.

Sir Roger Moore is going to be on the show.

We don't normally have guests on this programme, of course, but we are bending the rules for Sir Roger.

Yeah, it's the only time you'll see him or hear him.

in the media this month

It's good.

He has.

I'm afraid I saw him on on poor Oh goodness sake, but it's gonna be very different because because we're hopeless All the shows he's been on before have had professional presenters on them.

It's Africa hasn't yet stumbled into an arena like this No, but we're gonna be brilliantly professional.

I've read his entire biog.

Well done.

Yeah got all the factoids.

Yeah.

Yeah

So, you know, I bet Ross and Savage... He's not called Savage anymore, is he?

Yeah, he is, yeah.

I bet they haven't read the book.

No, exactly.

Probably not.

Ross can't read.

He can't read.

He can't see past all his piles of money.

But I'm going to be compiling a list of questions to ask Roger throughout the show.

I was thinking maybe listeners could help me with it.

I'm going to be much more free-form than this.

Are you?

I'm not.

He's going to prefer my technique.

I don't think so, because I really prefer the tall one.

I liked it when the short, tubbier one asked me whether I liked to Roger more.

The tall one would make an excellent James Bond.

The shorter, more intelligent one would make a wonderful villain.

Yes, that's fair enough.

I'm happy with that.

That's something to look forward to.

Okay, let's have some more music now.

Here is, here are, here they are.

It's the killers with human.

Well, the two are not mutually exclusive, are they?

It's fine to do both.

You can be human and be a dancer.

If you're a ferret and a dancer, it's more unusual, but it's not unheard of.

More lucrative.

It's much more lucrative.

You get invited on all kinds of programs.

It's the dancing ferret man!

But, you know, the dancing human is not such a big deal.

So, there you go.

We've explained it for the Killers.

That should be the end of that problem.

And I don't want to hear that song ever again.

Now, we should explain... I'm joking.

I love the song.

It's a great song.

The Killers There With Human, released in the year 2008.

Oh, what a vintage year.

In the month of October.

Very good.

I only just managed to get that information out.

Well done.

Yes, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.

We've got an apology to make listeners because of song wars.

We felt that because Sir Roger was coming in and we planned to play him our Quantum of Solace songs from several months back, it would be too cluttered a show if we played our spooky songs song wars this week.

That's true, yeah.

Overload.

Plus, we thought it would give us an extra week to fine-tune them because it's not an easy... Once again, we haven't chosen a particularly easy task.

I feel it's too broad.

Have you had any initial thoughts about spooky sounds?

I've laid the music track down.

Have you?

I just haven't approached the lyrics.

Can I ask you, is the mood of the music itself spooky?

Well, yes.

Yeah.

I've gone for a spooky sound.

It's scary, I tell you, when I play it back.

I get scared.

Yeah.

Can I ask you what media?

You know you can't because I think it's gonna give you an unfair tactical advantage.

I bet it's.

You know knowledge is power.

Is it?

In the high stakes world of song wars.

Damn it.

In the nuclear confrontation that is song wars.

Yeah.

Any kind of information is, did I say that already pal?

You did, yeah.

I'm just repeating it to stress it.

So yes, no new songs this week, but of course a reminder of our... Are we gonna play the whole... I guess we'll have to play the whole of the songs to Roger, right?

I guess Sir Roger will be baffled by them.

He knows that we're gonna do this, is that correct?

He doesn't think that... I'm worried that he's gonna think that we're just gonna chat to him about his book.

Uh, I'm going to chat to you.

Quite interesting in a couple of respects.

I've got those questions.

Don't worry about that.

Yeah.

If he looks, uh, just give me a wink or a nod or a sign.

If you think the interview should backpedal into like radio four mode and I'll, I'll take care of that.

I'm not really worried about it.

There's interesting things in the book.

I'm not dissing the book.

It's great.

It's really good.

A little bit of a... He went to school pretty much opposite where you live.

Is that not interesting?

In South London.

Yeah.

Yeah, that is very interesting.

To you and him.

I'll ask him about that, yeah.

Yeah, that is interesting.

You're right.

Okay, now we've got a free play for you now listeners.

This is my choice and It's by Randy Crawford.

You like a bit of Randy Joe?

Yeah, I do getting Randy every now and again.

Yes Well, she was on radio for this week.

She yeah I've been listening to a lot of radio for recently and enjoying it.

I don't know why exactly No, it's because it's good.

I suppose but it's made a soothing tone as well.

It's the soothing tone and

I've been listening to Woman's Hour.

I enjoy Woman's Hour very much.

And Randy was on Woman's Hour.

She was charming.

She was absolutely charming.

She's a professional.

She really is.

She just sounded delightful.

And the guy that wrote Street Life was on there with her.

I didn't realize that Street Life is such a saucy song.

It's all about like...

Chaps with cocaine spoons and being filthy and oh She sings it so sweetly you wouldn't have an idea anyway.

I'm not gonna play street life I'm gonna play this song which which I always thought was very bond like one day I'll fly away You know and I forgot when they played a little snippet on radio for how much I love this song Randy Crawford with one day I'll fly away.

That's very good DJ format with separated at birth is that a new song James our producer

It's from 2005.

Ooh.

Yeah.

The olden days.

Well, that was very enjoyable.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.

Do you read about the spammers this week, mate?

No, mate.

What's that news?

Caught a couple of spammers responsible for a third of the world's spam.

No.

Why are you saying it in an Australian accent?

Guess.

Because they were Australian, they're Aussies.

They were Australian men.

No.

Although they were operating in Australia and New Zealand, they didn't pin down whether they were Aussies or Kiwis, but I would say they were almost there.

They were operating in New Zealand as well.

Yeah, they were operating in New Zealand.

That's more certificate.

What is the difference between an Australian accent and a New Zealand accent?

A Kiwi accent.

I think my only frame of reference is Flight of the Concourse and Rhys Darby.

Now he's from New Zealand.

Yeah, and he New Zealand to me seems very slightly breathy.

Yes secretive and sort of punchy.

That's just the way that restart Well, that's what I miss whereas Australians just a bit more abroad like that exactly.

Yeah, they're just about a bright you Yes, everything's quite exciting in New Zealand.

Yeah

and more breathy and earnest.

As a lazy generalisation, I always characterise the Kiwis as like the Canadians to the Australians and Americans.

Do you know what I mean?

You know that we're slightly obsessed with accents and actors doing them badly in films.

I thought it could be a competition.

You know about competitions at the Big British Castle, but if we were,

You could have people phone in and they'd pretend to be a particular nationality and we'd have to guess whether they were putting on an accent or not.

Right.

It's like an accent test.

We can do that, can't we?

Can we do that?

As long as we don't give them prizes or offer prizes, isn't that the thing?

Yeah.

We can do that.

Let's do that today.

Can we do that?

Yes.

Would it be worth doing?

Yeah.

Let's try it.

So what are you asking people to do?

If you think

Oh, I don't know.

What am I asking you to do?

Yeah, you haven't thought it through, have you?

I haven't thought it through.

That's fair enough.

You were talking off the duck.

Let me give it a little bit of a think, think all through.

I'll think a little bit through.

Pop it in the think box.

And then we'll see whether it's worth flying.

My problem is that how would you know whether the person was lying or not?

You'd have to just depend on them being truthful.

Howard the Duck.

How would you know?

How at the duck?

You're distracting me now.

I love that film.

Let's talk about that.

No, we'll talk about it later.

That's good about the spam though.

Yeah, sorry.

A third of the world's spam they got rid of in one fell swan.

I mean, that's progress.

That gave me real cheer this week.

What sort of spam were they sending?

Was it to do with winky size?

Winkle wonkles, yeah.

It was winky size.

And the drugs and the fire growing.

Was it discount meds?

Exactly, exactly.

And it's two guys at the top of this operation.

They've got other people, and they've got lots of robot machines.

It's all about, what do they call them?

Web bots, or net bots, or botnets.

Why not net bots?

Why is it botnet?

Anyway, they've sorted all the botnets out, and they're killing them all, and it's like... Kill the botnets!

It's like Clone Wars out there.

Oh, it's exciting.

Except much more exciting.

So right now, here's a bit more music before the news, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't know if you've heard of this artist.

He's a young ruffian.

He's mixing it all up.

He's a white boy, but he's got kind of crazy hip-hop-style grooves.

I mean, that sounds unbelievable, doesn't it, Joe?

It sounds wrong.

It shouldn't be allowed.

He's called Beck, and this song is called Loser.

Mmm, delightful.

Ironically, that's Beck with Loser.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

Time now for the news read by Claire Runakers.

Credence, Clearwater, Revival with Bad Moon Rising.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

Always reminds me, is it over the closing?

Where is it in American Wharf in London?

When they're in the shower, I think, isn't it?

Is it the dirty scene?

That's why it's so reminiscent.

Yeah.

Evocative.

It's burned into your brain.

Her lovely, lovely boobs.

She's someone who is the object of a lot of adolescent fantasy.

Well, she was around the time, because that was a very powerful

a scene of physical intimacy between two consenting human beings when previously one had maybe only seen her in The Railway Children.

Plus that was when video VHS first came to Britain and American Wealth in London was one of the first movies to be released on VHS and there was no certification.

So anyone who was a kid around those days would have seen all sorts of forbidden things.

Beautiful things.

Including Jenny Agata's

Have you seen Railway Children recently?

No.

That film is hard to watch.

That doesn't have any scenes of physical intimacy between adults?

No, not really, no.

It's got her waving her pants.

Yeah, to stop the train.

What's the girl with the fairly large teeth called?

Titty.

No, not Titty.

Swallows and Amazons, is she called Titty?

There's lots of books where they've got, you know, of that period where they've got funny names like that.

Yes, yes.

No, she's not called that.

Bunty.

Bunty, something like, where she's got... Frolica.

Frolica!

Come in for tea, Frolicker.

Come on.

And you, Titty.

And Bunty.

Sit down.

Waffles.

Stop that.

That's the dog.

No, it's the sun.

Is it?

Waffles.

Stop it, Waffles.

Birds-eye-potato waffles.

Oh, waffles.

Leave us the dial.

Anyway, listeners, we were going to have a go at this thing, right?

It's not a competition, because competitions are equal.

We were going to.

We are going to.

We've decided to try this.

Yeah, right.

So, do you want to explain?

What we'd like you to do, listeners, is help us test our ear for accents.

We want you to email us at adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk or text us on 64046 if you either have a genuine, very strong foreign accent or you reckon you're so good at faking a foreign accent that if you speak to us in that accent we won't be able to tell that you're pretending.

And what we're going to do, our producers here, James and Claire, are going to take your calls, they're going to phone you up, basically, and they go to assess whether your accent is sufficiently strong.

You have to be straight with them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to tell them, like, okay, I can do a good South African accent, so here it is.

And if they're sufficiently impressed, you'll go through, and we'll end up with two

Real ones?

Well, no, we don't know.

We'll just end up with maybe hopefully three callers.

We'll go through them pretty quickly, but we'll test our ability to tell whether an accent is real or fake.

We may get you to say particular sentences, engage you in some kind of provocative or testing conversation that might trip you up.

We should think of a standard sentence then, right?

Yeah, we'll do a little bit of thinking.

A control sentence.

But in the short term, if you think you've either got a really good strong foreign accent, or you can fake it amazingly well... Oh, it doesn't have to be amazingly well.

It would be quite amusing if it was badly.

Well, it's up to you what you think.

Yeah, then send your name and phone number right now to adamandjo.sixmusic, that's the number six, not the word, six, at bbc.co.uk, or text us on 64046, and we will call you back if our producer select you.

Obviously, that's only if you're listening to this show live.

Yeah, if you're listening again, then this is in the past.

It's all happened in the past.

Okay, more music now.

It's time for Santo Gold with Say Aha.

Is this actually about Aha?

I can't remember.

Let's find out.

This is Santo Gold.

Santa Gold with, say, Aha?

No, it's not about Aha, is it?

No, it's a song for dentists.

Have you seen the version of Take On Me on YouTube?

Yeah.

It's a new YouTube craze literal videos, right?

Where you get an existing video, you remix the sound to make the lyrics state

Literally, what's happening in the picture and it's very effective, isn't it?

Yeah, it's very enjoyable in someone's done it with the take on me video Yeah, and it works a treat.

He's done a good job of like doing the redoing the track as well.

Mm-hmm I mean, yeah, he's got a hold of an instrumental.

I wonder where you get hold of them things Are you reckon he's got I think maybe he was I assumed that he'd done it himself No, we recorded the entire track.

Yeah

No, maybe I don't know it might be insane there.

They used to be years ago I remember seeing on tomorrow's world a machine that could filter out the lyrics of vocals.

Do you remember that?

Yeah?

Well, you can still do that.

Can you do that on a normal home computer?

Well, I don't know about that I mean, it's a bit of software.

You have to get hold of it.

Yeah, I'd like that software You can probably buy it.

I'm going to so did you see in the news Joe Cornish?

There's deadly spiders

No.

Do you see the deadly spider thing?

Oh, I read that new types of insects were coming into Britain because of the global warming.

Al Gore.

Yeah.

He's shipping them over.

He's packaged them up in a big crate.

Yeah.

And sent them over on a weak bit of rope.

Thanks a lot, Al Gore.

So they snap and it smashes open.

Yeah, thanks very much.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks a lot Al Gore.

He has them on, his body is full of spiders.

Did you know that if you look up close his skin undulates because he's just full of, he's not a man, he's just a million spiders in the form of a man.

Like Oogie Boogie in Nightmare Before Christmas.

Is that what happens?

He's great, yeah he's just a big sack and when the sack comes undone.

There you go.

Was he called Oogie Boogie?

Something like that.

I don't know, I don't like that film.

It's good man.

What's that?

That drives me insane.

I've rediscovered it since having children.

really watched it again and it's really not good it's pretty good yeah anyway i digress the scary spiders though oh i mean have you ever been bitten by a spider no but uh when i was in america recently somebody spotted uh potted spotted out they pointed out a black widow spider on the streets of la just hanging by an electricity box he said hey that's a black widow spider watch out

When you go into the Californian countryside, and lo and behold, I was swimming in a swimming pool, working, obviously.

Still working, yeah.

Still working, yeah, in the pool.

And there was a black widow spider hanging in the corner of the pool.

Just having a cocktail?

Yeah.

What?

In a little inflatable chair.

Yeah.

And that was terrifying.

And he was saying, I got a great idea.

It's about this man, and he can climb up walls, and he...

you get where i'm going spider man yeah no man spider man spider yes that's very different it's frightening though isn't it and we must all be careful in uh in our daily lives to watch thank you for the new spiders very good watch out for the new spiders there's a new spider maybe they should launch spider magazine the bbc's spider magazine it's all the latest spiders

a guide to them what to be afraid of a poster of the new spiders interview with old spiders what they think of the new spiders yeah spider facts that's a great idea bbc spider magazine bbc shops now bdc that's a very good idea have you ever seen the effects of a bad spider bite on youtube you should it's amazing

no look for you don't really is that true oh it's amazing because presumably it doesn't it's not just a sort of boil on the skin it's the person going into some kind of shock no no no it's not it's not that it's interesting no in the States right is there's a type of I think it's called a common brown not call a common brown but something the brown spider

And somewhere in the Midwest if you get bitten by one of these things obviously the thing to do is to go into hospital But some of these folks don't have medical insurance, right?

So there's videos of themselves in the election, right?

There's some of these folks without medical insurance treating their own orange sized Swellings on their neck from the spider bite during them.

It is Unbelievable draining them draining.

Oh my god

And I'm not recommending you check these out if you're having breakfast man people well exactly sitting in front of What are they grapefruits?

Yeah, which looks?

Orange-sized spot if you've got it if you've got a tough Constitution right check these out otherwise do not because it's it's the most unbelievable

Listen, it's your free play right now, Joe.

What have you got?

Is it?

I can't help.

I can't stop thinking about... Do you like seeing that kind of stuff?

Bursting the Bubos.

I mean, this is the king of all Bubos.

The bursting of the Bubos.

Yeah, you search for spider bite.

This is a sort of relaxing song just to ease us out of that trauma.

It's Bon Iver.

It's from their current album.

It's quite long.

And it starts with pretty much silence and just a man banging on his acoustic guitar.

So don't get worried.

That'll be Mr. Iver himself.

It picks up and it's really beautiful.

And it has an amazing use of an sort of R&B style electronic vocoder in it, but very subtly used and interestingly combined with folk vocals.

This is Wolves by Bon Iver.

pulp with babies.

He's a national treasure, of course, Jarvis, wouldn't you say?

I'd say he's a national treasure too.

He's a national treasure and he is going to be sitting in for Stephen Lazy Merchant, who is away on holiday inverted commas.

We never do that kind of thing, do we?

We're always here.

Always on the job.

We would never skip off.

That was the session recorded for the John Peel show on Radio 1 on the 30th of May 1992.

And Jarvis is going to be filling in for Stephen Sunday week.

I think this weekend it's going to be Kerris Matthews.

Lovely Kerris.

And as we heard in that trail before... 16 years ago.

16 years.

Isn't that extraordinary?

Yeah, time just... Oh, time flies!

Time just refuses to stand still, doesn't it?

Damn it!

As my, um... body keeps reminding me.

Well, let's not go into that now.

Are we ready to try this experimental non-competition event?

Yeah, let's try this.

It might be a bit raggedy listeners, so if you just tuned in, this is the idea.

We reckon we can spot a fake accent a mile off.

That's the premise of this segment.

So we've invited listeners who either have genuine accents

or think they can do an impeccable pretend accent.

And we don't know which, obviously.

We've invited them to phone in, speak to us in their accent, and we have to tell whether they're genuinely foreign or pretending to be foreign.

Now, we don't have a control sentence yet, do we?

We don't have a control sentence, but let's... Shall we just chat to them generally?

Just chat a bit, yeah, and see what happens.

We've got Francesca on the line.

Hello, Francesca.

Hello.

Now, how are you doing, Francesca?

I'm doing fine.

I'm in South East London.

Right, and where are you from, Francesca?

Am I allowed to tell you?

Well, that's an interesting question, isn't it?

You have to tell us, like, it has to fit in with the accent you're doing, whether it's real or fake.

Because obviously, if were you to be pretending to be foreign, then it would immediately give it away if you told us you were from somewhere different than your accent.

Do you see what we're saying?

Yeah.

So I'll ask the question again.

Where are you from, Francesca?

I'm from Italy.

Italy.

Italy?

Well, what's happened to your accent then?

I love it on the way to England.

Oh, there's a little bit of it there.

You sound more Irish to me.

I thought you were Irish, because we were testing the line just before you came on there.

Yeah.

And you sounded a little bit Irish, and I was speculating that maybe an Irish accent is something that a lot of women seem to enjoy doing.

Do you know what I mean?

Right.

When I was at school, a lot of girls would do an American accent, because that was fashionable at the time.

Yeah, people do think I'm American as well sometimes, but I haven't been trying.

Do you know any poetry off by heart?

Or the lyrics from a song or something?

Or pick up a magazine.

Is there a magazine around there?

As long as it's a family magazine.

Go on then.

Read a few sentences from the book.

As long as it's in no way swary or dirty.

Or political.

There's nothing more sad and wasteful than a room full of intelligent and highly paid people waiting for a chance to attack something the speaker has said.

I think that accent is real but I think it's slightly, with great respect, sort of mongrel.

It sounds like, and don't respond to this Francesca, I'm talking to Adam here, is I think it sounds like a mix between Irish and Italian.

Have you got any Irish roots there Francesca?

I have, yes.

So are we now telling her to tell us?

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay now be honest with us, it's now time to reveal whether you're... So my guess is that she is genuinely Irish with a bit of Italian.

What's your guess Adam Buxton?

I'm Italian with a bit of Irish.

She jumped right on in there.

She's Italian with a bit, but there you go.

There's no trace of Italian in your accent.

No, but it's because she said earlier on, yeah, that she was Italian.

That was what gave me the clue.

Earlier on she said, I'm Italian.

And I picked up on that.

And I followed, you know, my genius.

So there we go.

We've rumbled you, Francesca.

Yeah, that was quite easy, wasn't it?

It was quite easy, but but well done surviving life with that accent.

Do you find it gets you into difficulties?

I was asked once if I was Chinese and my boyfriend says I sound like Yoda.

That's a difficulty.

That's two difficulties.

Well done struggling through.

You've got a nice voice though, Francesca.

Thank you very much indeed for calling us.

Thank you.

Have a good weekend.

We've got Dave now.

Hey Dave, are you on the line?

I am, yes.

No, this is more like it.

Dave, have you got a magazine handy or something or a book?

I have many magazines handy here.

That might be a real accident and we're just laughing at the exact same thing.

So talk to us, Dave.

Read from something clean, please.

I can talk about the clash.

Dave, I can't believe you've phoned up.

Go on then, talk about the clash.

It was not the most consistent of live bands.

For every class show that plays into life, there'd be another where the band acted like individuals.

Are you a film actor?

I am not, no.

You're not, you should be.

You really should be.

You could be in films with that accent.

You could play like a Polish gangster or... Is that supposed to be Polish?

It's Germanic.

It is Eastern European, right?

Where are you from, sir?

I... aren't you meant to guess?

Now he's from Germany.

He doesn't even know where he's from.

Is that the name of the town?

What did you say?

Can't you guess, he said?

Oh, I thought he was.

Yes, we guessed that you're from either Germany or Poland.

Or Stretum.

I'm actually from Liverpool.

Yes.

Now, what's your real accent, Dave?

Because we're guessing... A bit of my real accent.

There you go.

Oh, that's good.

Dave, you sure that's your real accent, though?

Not really, no.

Dave, read to us in your real accent just with your normal voice for a second.

OK.

They were not the most consistent of live bands.

For every class show that blazed into life, there'd be another where the band acted like individuals.

Wow, you really brought that sentence alive.

Thank you.

You should do Jack and Ori.

Dave, that's great, man.

What do you do for a living, Dave?

I'm getting some reason acting.

I actually write radio commercials.

Do you write?

We don't have any commercials, otherwise we'd get you to write some.

But do you ever use your brilliant accent in public?

Yes, I've been arrested on a number of occasions.

But do you really think that's quite a good accent you've got there?

I do, I think it could open doors for me occasionally.

Do you think that's your best of all the countries and the accents in the world?

Do you think that's your strongest one?

say yes so i give us a blast to be a south african come on hello edam and joe hello dear dave how are you doing mate that's just australian i've lost it on the edam and joe show okay listen dave thank you so much uh for calling what's your weekend looking like you're doing anything fun a little radio question yeah just taking the the little kiddles and the misses into town for um

for coffee and toast coffee and toast sounds lovely good times we'll see you there thank you for calling dave that's a problem that's a very good accent well done we look forward to seeing you in some major hollywood feature films that was very good thank you very much dave and francesca so what do you reckon joe is that got legs

uh i i yeah i think it might do i think it's important that from the moment you come on air you're talking in the accent yeah and you stay in that accent and stay in either a world of of of deception right or truth do you know what i mean until such time as we ask you

to be completely truthful with us.

What I'm saying is you can toy with us, you can mess with us until we ask you the absolute question at which point you have to be honest.

It makes it very difficult though if we're asking them personal information in character, you know what I mean?

I don't think we should ask them where they're from and stuff like that because then it's too complicated.

We should just stick to them reading something out of a book, don't you think?

I don't think we should underestimate our listeners.

I think they can create fake.

You see, I was thinking that we should.

They can create fake backstories for themselves because, you know, on the basis of those two calls, we got them both instantly.

From the moment Dave uttered a syllable, it was clear he was not from Germany.

Oh, Poland.

And Francesca sort of gave it away in her preamble.

So if you think you can do better than either of those two, send us an email at adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk with your phone number and we might try a couple more later in the show.

Right now, here is Blur.

Man, I heard this song the other day.

I forgot how amazingly good it was.

Do you want to hear a little slightly sad name droppy story?

Go on then.

Once a long time ago, Joe, when we were doing our TV show and things were very exciting, I went to the Groucho Club.

You've heard of the Groucho Club?

Yes.

And this was back in the day when Keith Allen and Alex James

Would sort of be Kings Kings of the Groucho Club and they were just there all the time And so I went there and there was Alex James and it was very exciting.

He was sat with Craig cash from the royal family and I sort of sidled over and Insinuated myself into their conversation god, and they were talking about what the best single ever recorded was brilliant and I

I thought, oh, I can join in with this conversation.

And Alex was saying, maybe it was Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie.

I think he was saying that.

I can't remember.

But then, and this was around the time that Beetlebum had just come out, I think.

Guess what I said?

I think maybe Beetlebum is one of the best ever, Alex.

I love you.

I didn't actually say I love you, but that was clearly the implication.

What did he say to that?

He told me to eff off.

Did he?

Yes, he did.

Good man.

In sort of, you know, in a friendly way, but in a fairly emphatic way.

Because he had correctly rumbled me as a disastrous... Have you ever met him?

Did you ever meet him after that?

Yeah, I did and we had a nice enjoyable times.

Well then here is the greatest single ever.

I mean it is an amazing song and it has a little weird coder at the end where they're saying something that I can't make out.

It sounds like Islam, Islam, Islamic.

That would be very provocative.

It would be, wouldn't it?

Let's hear it.

Beetlebum by Blur.

What about the end bit?

Oh, I like it at the end.

That's the single version that we played there.

It's got a fade out on it or something.

But on the album, there's a good little ending and he goes, like the tape sort of winds up, comes off the spool at the end there.

That was Blur with Beetlebum.

That's amazing.

So that's in my top singles ever.

I mean, that was a wonderful, heady time.

When was that?

Ninety eight?

Ten years ago or something?

Something like that.

a long time ago, and that was good, man, that was good stuff.

That was off... was that off 13, I think?

That had song 2 on it.

That was a good album, wasn't it?

Anyway, hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

We've got Sir Roger Moore coming in later.

Very exciting.

On the programme.

He'll be in around about 11.30, something like that.

Yeah, the idea is to get his reaction to our Quantum of Solace songs, even though I would imagine he'll be very positive about...

about the new Bond?

Who wouldn't be?

He was positive on Jonathan Ross.

Yeah, he has to be.

I mean, it's a tricky gig.

You know, if you're an actor who's filled Bond's shoes, you'd have nothing but respect for anybody else who attempted it.

I'm sure he doesn't feel threatened, though.

He's widely recognized as like the quintessential.

I mean, some people are snobbish about him, aren't they?

Some people say, who knew Connery's better because he's harder-edged and Roger Moore's too camp.

But I guess it's like Doctor Who.

It's the one that you grew up with, isn't it?

Yeah, I think I made my views clear in my song.

I mean, he's the man for me, because it's not like I can't take James Bond seriously.

And this is no insult to my father.

In fact, it's flattery.

But I used to think my father looked a little bit like Roger Moore.

And therefore, I thought that I did.

And therefore, I thought that I was going to be James Bond.

Yeah.

I think most people did.

I think most young men go through the same thing, don't they?

A little bit of Bond fantasy.

Bond envy.

Yeah.

I don't think I ever did.

Really?

Do you think I look like James Bond?

Yes, you do.

I thought I looked most like... What's his name?

Yeah, with the razor blade bowler hat.

What odd job.

No, like odd job.

Who's the little fella in the man with the golden gun?

That's you.

Yeah, that fella.

Quite a dirty chap, apparently, according to Roger's book.

That's right, he loved ladies, didn't he?

There's lots of very saucy anecdotes in here.

I enjoy them enormously.

Anyway, he's coming in later, probably sometime about quarter past 11 or half past 11.

I know you don't like talking about Jonathan Roskies, you're always worried that we might shed listeners, but did you see his show last night?

A little bit of it.

It was very sweary, I thought.

Was it?

And you know, you expect a little bad language on there, but it was just wall-to-wall effing and jeffing last night.

Really?

Well, it's become acceptable, hasn't it?

Jamie Oliver does it.

His new show is full of swearing.

That other stupid chef does it.

Ramsay.

Crazy hair, Scarface, Ramsay.

He was on there last night, and he was... I'm sorry, Crazy hair, Scarface isn't a very respectable...

The way to describe him.

He's a talented and brilliant and very clever, nice, kind man.

Hey, crazy hat, Scott Grace!

That'd be a good name for a gangster, though.

But man, he was on there, he was effing and jumping.

Gervais, Ricky Jarvis was on there, and he was... everything he said.

But Trumpinkus.

It was eff off this, eff off that.

The whole way through.

And then Sarah Silverman comes on.

She wasn't actually... Well, she's one of the world's cleverest and funniest swearers.

She wasn't actually swearing, but she was certainly making some very explicit references to adult love practices.

You see, she's the one whose entire career is based on provocation and saying shocking things.

Yet she's professional enough to get through a TV interview without actually using.

Although she was a little awkward, I thought, watching.

Awkwardness is part of her shtick.

Bit out of place.

And she was one of those Americans who came over and didn't...

She seemed like she hadn't really bothered to find out what England was all about at all.

Oh, no, she's a smart cookie.

Making a lot of references to American stuff that she, you know, talking about American.

What was it?

Some American antidepressant or whatever that no one would ever know about.

And she's like, you don't have that in this country?

I don't know.

Have you seen her live?

She's playing live tomorrow at the Lebats Apollo, isn't she?

No, I haven't seen her live.

Yeah.

Well, that'd be interesting.

It's a little dead end there.

A conversational cul-de-sac.

Yeah.

A conv-de-sac.

Is it ting ting's time now, James?

It's got to be ting ting's time at some time, so let's get it over with now.

This is Be The One by The Ting Tings.

What if I don't want to?

But I'm using email.

Is that a problem?

It doesn't matter, text!

Yes, that was the Ting Tings with Be The One, and this is Adam and Joel on BBC Six Music, and it's Text the Nation time, and as you'll already know, if you've been listening from the beginning of the show, we've got Roger Moore coming into the studio.

You may have seen him on every other television programme, well, not a television programme, but every other media outlet this week being very funny and entertaining.

But we would like you to try and come up with a question that you've never heard Roger ask before.

We want a killer question from our listeners, and that's Text the Nation this week.

It's very straightforward.

Questions for Roger Moore, and we're going to select one out of all of them that you send in and ask it to Sir Roger.

Have you got one?

I've got quite a few questions, yeah.

Any that you're pleased with, the things that you think are original?

Well, it turns out that Sir Roger Moore, during the shooting of For Your Eyes... No, the spy who loved me got terrible shingles.

Did he?

On the right-hand side of his face.

And your Jimmy shingles.

That's exactly where I had my shingles.

Right.

So I was going to chat to him about shingles.

Shingles, buddy.

But everyone loves that.

People love to hear.

Love hearing about shingles.

Me and Sir Roger talking about buboes.

Shingle mingles, you could call it.

Facial buboes.

Mingle with the shingle.

Mingle with the shingles.

And apparently in some of the reverses of the Spy Who Loved Me, you can see his shingles.

Bit of shingle damage.

A little bit of shingle on the cheekbone.

See, that's fascinating, isn't it?

That is interesting stuff, I can't wait.

You ask him that question.

How many Bubos did you have?

Where on your face were they?

What's he gonna say?

I don't really remember.

Did you scratch them accidentally, burst some?

Does he talk about it in the book?

Yes.

Oh, well then he will remember, I guess.

Shingles.

Bonded by Shingles.

All I've got, yeah, I've only got one question in my locker.

What?

You know, what's it like being James Bond?

Well, there was that, yeah.

Well, now you said it like that.

It doesn't sound like such a good question.

No, I had... Yeah, just would you like to roger more I had?

That's the only one.

That's not disrespectful though, isn't it?

But I thought it might be a fun question to ask him a little bit.

What?

That's a good idea.

Is that really the only one?

Yeah.

What else does he get asked, do you think?

What are the things that he always gets asked?

What was your favourite Bond film to make?

Did you get to keep the car in The Spy Who Loved Me?

That's a good question.

You know, I mean what would you you know, did you have looking promising for adult relations with all your co-stars?

That kind of thing.

I mean, did he?

No, I think he was fairly happily married quite early on in the game fairly chase with children.

Yeah.

Yeah

But listen, as you can see, we clearly need help.

This is going to be difficult unless we've got some good questions for Sir Roger, so please email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk or text 64046 with your question for Sir Roger Moore and we will pick the best ones, or maybe the stupidest ones, and ask them unto him.

OK, free play now for you listeners.

This is from the album Songs for Drella by Lou Reed and John Cale.

Drella, of course, was their pet name for Andy Warhol because he was like a cross, because they thought Warhol was like a cross between Cinderella and Dracula, right?

And it's an amazing album if you haven't heard it.

Weird little extracts from Warhol's diaries.

We've got an email here from a listener Matthew and Jane Wilson in stratum Jane is expecting twins.

They say if we dedicate a song to them They will consider calling the twins Adam and Joe.

No.

Yeah.

Well, let's not consider consider I'm gonna dedicate Matthew and Jane Wilson in stratum.

It's not legally binding

Let's dedicate this to them.

Let's dedicate this because this is a great song.

Where do they live, Stretum?

Yeah.

Well, this song is called Small Town.

I don't know if you'd call Stretum a small town, but I guess you could.

Roger Moore used to hang out and stress them a lot.

Yeah.

Well, this is all about growing up in a small town.

There you go.

Kelvin Harris there with Acceptable in the 80s.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

Time is coming up to 10.30.

It's a beautiful day here in London town.

It's going to be great weather this weekend.

Fantastic weather for going around just walking and having fun and chatting to people.

I'm just filling before.

I'm doing a really good job.

I want it to be exactly 10.30 before I throw to the news.

So if you are out this weekend, take care.

Have fun.

Don't eat too much ice cream.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

Time now for the news with Claire and Elizabeth.

The police.

with so lonely.

and they would want to maybe catch a snap sell it to the european mags but no i haven't caught them uh peeking but i get very self-conscious when i play music in the shower right and i do you ever do this i kind of approach it as if i'm deejaying for them

And I decided, I thought, well, I got to play, you know, build a friendly music.

I don't want them to jump to conclusions.

Build us a very, you know, macho and it's important to play, you know, proper music.

So what did you stick on there?

I put some police on, hence mentioning it.

And it was a smash.

They were singing along, whistling along for the rest of the day.

No.

Were they actually singing along?

There was some whistling.

It was slightly embarrassed whistling.

They curtailed it.

because I don't think they wanted to admit that they were enjoying the music so much.

Where were they from there?

Were they British builders or Polish builders?

I think they're foreigners, yeah.

This is the best job I've ever done!

Oh, the music is so great coming out from the bathroom over there.

That's what I was hoping they were thinking.

That's almost certainly what they were saying.

Some more personal news.

We've had an email from Jeff Masson.

He says, just wondering if you could confirm my possible sighting of Dr. Sexy.

That's me.

on the tube on Thursday at around 9.45.

I was on the Victoria line coming home sat opposite two blonde girls who were having a right good bitch about some girl they worked with called Izzy.

Their inane conversation didn't seem to interest Joe in the slightest and he preferred to flick through his copy of the Metro at a rate of a page a second.

I was contemplating calling Heat magazine to notify them of my celeb spotting but I wasn't sure if it was the real Joe or if they'd be interested.

That was me.

Or if they'd be interested, that hurts a lot.

Well, no, I think he's right.

I don't think we'd get to heat.

Ouch.

Do you?

I mean, do call them, Geoff, and see if it appears.

I don't think we're... Probably we wouldn't anymore.

No, I don't think they'd be interested.

But that was me, and I remember Geoff, those two women, and they were having an extraordinary conversation.

About Izzy?

Yeah, they were saying she's so two-faced.

I can't believe she got the job.

She must have been a completely different person at the interview if to get that job.

I can't believe she's in the position she's in.

I could do it better than her.

That sort of thing.

What if Izzy's listening?

Well, Izzy, I felt like saying, now look, you two, I don't know Izzy, but I bet she's nicer than you two, because I've never heard two people, you know, you call her two-faced.

I bet they're nice to her face.

But I don't even know you and you're being two-faced.

Yeah.

Jeff, you should have said hello to me, and we could have, you know, sorted those women out, because I bet they're unhappy.

Yeah.

What they were exposing, really, was a profound unhappiness within themselves.

Absolutely.

And they were, that's why they were attacking Izzy.

If anyone knows Izzy or the two women, please get in touch.

Maybe we can reconstruct that southbound Victoria Line journey.

What were you reading about in Metro?

I was just flicking through it.

Yeah.

Just scanning the headlines.

Any Winehouse?

Yeah, the Winehouse.

That's what they usually talk about, isn't it?

A few corrections from earlier on in the show for you listeners.

Blur, Beetlebum was from the album Blur, not from Thirteen.

Yeah, the song we played, The Bad Moon Rising, is when he turns into the wolf, not the sexy scene.

Not the sexy scene.

That's Van Morrison with Moondance.

And Easy Mistake to Make.

Very easy.

Sexy mistake.

Here's an email from Stu in Leeds.

We were talking about... I was speculating about NetBots and why they were called NetBots.

No, no.

BotNets.

Why are they called BotNets, not NetBots?

Dear... Hi, Adam and Joe.

I'm going to give him a nerd voice because he... He deserves one.

Hi, Adam and Joe.

No, that's too much, isn't it?

You'll alienate him.

I will, won't I?

Sorry, Steve.

Sorry, Stu.

Give him a really clever voice.

Cool and clever.

Hello, Adam and Joe.

Yeah, that's it.

Now it just sounds like Bond.

No, that was great.

You were wondering why botnets are so-called and not named netbots.

Being a geek, I can answer your question.

They are a network of bots, not a bot on a network.

Uh-huh.

Stew and Leeds.

It's just the way you said it.

Stew and Leeds.

Having a nice bit of stew.

In Leeds!

Now we've got a song coming up for you listeners.

This is friendly fires and Is this the one we're playing now?

Oh yeah, you've got to look at the bottom of the screen, don't you?

It's a new single from their self-titled debut album.

I'll never work it out.

Jumps in Cornish.

Here we go.

This is called Paris.

A wash.

A sound.

At the end there.

A douche.

An audio douche.

A sound douche.

From Friendly Fires with Paris.

Very enjoyable stuff.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

I think we should find out about Text the Nation now.

Let's have a jingle.

Text-a-nation!

Text, text, text!

Text-a-nation!

What if I don't want to?

Text-a-nation!

But I'm using email!

Is that a problem?

It doesn't matter!

Text!

So we have Sir Roger Moore coming into the show in about 45 minutes, and we're asking you to help us think of really clever questions to ask him, something that maybe he hasn't been asked before, something that'll make this interview really memorable.

Would you like to Roger Moore?

We've got that one in reserve.

That's our fallback position.

But here are some suggestions from the listeners.

uh okay where shall we begin is this like do you like to hear this kind of thing yeah i do man it makes it feel real real no no it is real this is what it's going to be like in the future it's what it's going to be like when roger comes in just got some silences you think we should uh talk to roger like that no all the time i'm going to

No, if we do it from the very beginning, he'll just think that's real.

And he'll think he's amongst friends.

These are my type of people.

I like this radio station.

Oh, it's intelligence.

If he's listening to this in the car on the way here, he is doing a U-turn.

He's going to be turning right back.

I'm too tired for this.

This show sounds too silly.

Second thoughts.

Call my agent.

Here's the first question that's come in anonymously.

A question for Sir Roger.

Was there any truth to the rumour that the girl from For Your Eyes Only was a tranny and went out with Des Lynham?

What?

Where's he got that from?

Come on, that's a good question.

That is a good question.

Yeah, yeah, Roger, so Roger, that girl from Fuel Eyes Only, was she a tranny?

Did she do Des Linam?

James James Bond.

Um, did this, was, was, yeah.

She looks like a bloke.

Hey, here's another one from Colin.

Ask Rog, would he rather have a stumpy little tail on his bum or a gnarly little horn on his forehead?

He's got to pick one.

Cheers, Colin.

That's not specific to Roger, though, is it?

Just reading you out a cross-section of the questions.

I'm not saying these are the good ones.

Are we going to ask him that?

no you know i don't think so you you know that could just be applied to anybody what it tell you as well and i find them quite insulting those questions because it's going to be insulted at him you know because it's a total it's like they're so uninterested in you that that's that's what i can be bothered to ask you the question needs to be informed in some way i'd like to just line and try anyone the exact that's the best question yeah uh... so you wouldn't like this one james james bond

No, I can just skip that one.

Did you read these three?

No, I picked the best ones, but now my criteria has become tighter.

Ben in Liverpool says, did you get to keep the giant rubber bum that you had to wear as a disguise in Moonraker?

Now he's just imagining that, isn't he?

There's no giant rubber bum in Moonraker, is there?

Giant rubber bum?

As a disguise, is that like a subversive question?

I don't know what's going on there.

Why did you read that one out then?

Because it's interesting and mysterious.

I'm just thinking about your criteria tightening.

I think you should see a doctor.

Let me see.

Basically, the short answer is that all of the questions we've had in a quite silly

or very serious.

I'm scanning them now and I'm thinking, well, most of them are too silly or too dry.

Well, we've got to ask him something.

Well, this segment of Texanation can be too encouraged.

So we've got two questions.

I'll give you some more.

Would you like to Roger Moore?

And was that bloke a transsexual?

Well, here's someone from Dave in North Curry, Somerset.

Love the show.

Is Roger's middle name really me?

I do hope it is, as I've believed this since I was small.

Okay?

I'm going to keep writing.

Well, I know, but it's all we've got.

Dear Adam and Jo.

I can't read that one out.

Listen, we should play some music.

You've got a free choice right now.

Look, this is a good one.

Toby in Swindon.

Roger, have you ever done Bond saying really ridiculous things when alone at home and bored?

And someone else emailed in the question whether a lady, while making love to Sir Roger, has ever asked him to do the Bond voice.

Are those suitable questions?

Yes.

I mean, that's it.

I'm interested to know that.

But, listeners, you can see we're in trouble.

Help us with some really good questions for Roger Moore.

64046 or email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.

Bond-based free playtime now.

Yeah, here's one of my favourite Bond songs ever.

This is Carly Simon with the music from the Five Pints advert.

Bankers will be bankers.

Yes, yes.

Credit crunch.

Come on, crunchy.

Lay loud.

That's the House Martins.

Yeah.

What was that one called?

Get Up Off Our Knees.

Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.

There's a lot of excitement at the moment in the entertainment industry about the forthcoming Star Trek film.

Oh, I thought you were going to say the Charlie Borman thing.

There's a lot of excitement about Charlie Borman's trip across.

Where has he gone?

I don't know where he's going.

On holiday.

About the new Star Trek film.

I'm not a big fan of Star Trek.

You don't do Trek, do you?

No, Cornballs doesn't really like the Trekking.

He doesn't like episodic science fiction drama.

No, but you love it, don't you, Adam Buxton?

Love Trekking.

Big fan of Star Trek.

I'm a big fan of the Star Trek TNG, actually.

Oh, really?

The next generation.

Not the 60s Star Trek?

Not so much.

You know, I'd watch it if it was on when I was a nipper.

But not a massive fan.

Specifically the Picard era.

Loved Picard.

And was very disappointed by the last couple of TNG movies.

Right.

Never fulfilled the promise.

Would you say it would be true to say that the Star Wars Star Trek movie franchise has been kind of ground into the dirt?

Yeah, people did pops on it.

uh increasingly diminishing returns for the fans very much so yeah more and more disappointing and it's due for resurrection oh isn't that right like jj abraham's he's got the dreams of of a billion nerds held cupped in his in his hands absolutely well you know i wouldn't if anyone's gonna do a good job it's him surely well what about you adam buxton what would you

you do with the Star Trek franchise?

Leave it alone, Jon.

Because not a lot's known about the film.

There's a trailer, isn't there, that unveils the magnificent new Starship Enterprise?

And there are some stills have been released now showing the crew that the new cast, all in their uniforms apart from Kirk, because part of the plot is Kirk's.

process of becoming the captain of the Enterprise.

He's some kind of a renegade trainee or something who ends up having to take command of the Starship Enterprise under very dramatic circumstances or something.

But their uniforms look similar.

They're the 60s colour, right?

Fairly simple.

Not too elaborate.

When the, I always thought it was weird, like when Star Trek, the motion picture came out, I didn't like the fact that they fooled around with the uniforms and made them sort of ornate and frilly a little bit, you know.

I didn't like it.

I think they've gone back to basics, but do you approve of that?

What would you do with the franchise if you were going to bring it back?

Well, I'll tell you, this is a serious point, right?

Get ready.

It's not the direction I wanted this to go in I want I want it to be I want them to respect the color schemes Okay, that to me is very important.

It's like you remember when route masters in London the hop on hop off buses the pallets It's key to the mood.

Yeah of anything

Rootmasters used to have a lovely, warm interior.

The upholstery on the seats was kind of checkered oranges, reds, that kind of thing.

And that, to me, was nice.

But when they went, suddenly they went all neon and the non-Rootmaster buses with the foldy doors, it was all cold and grey and neon-y.

And that, I think, is what caused

society's fabric to crumble a little bit and for encouraged youths to behave in a cold callous way just like the callous.

So you wanted to have the 60s Star Trek colours.

Yeah.

I do.

Yeah.

Well, I think it's got those.

I think you're in luck.

Good.

What about the bridge?

Because technology's come on a lot, hasn't it?

Yeah.

And you know, all science fiction is really a product of its age because they always use the most sophisticated knobs available at the time.

That's a tough one, isn't it?

But knob technology advances very quickly, and often the knobs are outdated.

Do you know what Abrahams has done?

I've seen a shot of the bridge.

Yeah, sure I have.

Well, he's bound to have made it all curvy and modern, like a curve.

Do you think?

Didn't they do that on the next generation?

Yeah.

Well, I don't know.

Tell me.

It looks good to me.

Does it?

It looks kind of retro.

A little bit boxy.

Retro-futuristic, yes.

Have you seen the new Spock?

No.

He's a man.

Is he?

From things.

Yeah.

On something.

I don't know what he's from, but he looks quite good.

He looks very like your brother.

Oh.

Yeah.

Is he white or black?

No, he's a Caucasian gentleman.

He's white, right.

Because they had on Voyager, they had a black Klingon called Tuvok.

I think he was a Klingon.

No, he's not a Klingon.

What am I talking about?

Where's Spock from?

Vulcan.

I'm not even a Trekkie.

You're making such fundamental errors.

This is what I mean.

I'm not into the lore.

What sort of plot do you want to see in the new Star Trek film?

Oh, I don't know.

I just want a big spaceship and lots of, um, I don't want too much humor.

Right.

I'll tell you that much.

You want it taken seriously.

Yeah.

Because it is serious, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Yes.

It's utopia you're dealing with here.

And of course, Simon Pegg, the nation's favorite comedy star, is playing Scotty.

Yeah, that's okay.

I'm sure Simon is reverential enough to... Oh, he looks good.

The still of him looks very good.

He looks quite serious.

Yeah, good, good, good.

Playing older than he usually plays.

Gruffa.

I don't want it too campy.

I'll tell you one thing I would like to see in there.

It's a bit of fun to be had with moving around in time.

time travel i like yes yes i love they can do that on star trek can't they yeah are you excited about it i am actually really yeah i think jj abraham's he's pretty good are you going to be there on the opening day well that's going a bit far really that's not the kind of thing you do i don't do that at all anymore

No.

But I'll go out and I'll rush out and buy it on the DVD.

Oh, that's nice.

If you want DVDs six months after it's come out of the cinema.

I'll project it.

You're not a trait fan at all.

You don't even know where Spot comes from.

All right, I'll go and see it.

That's better.

Will we get invited to the premiere?

No, not after that display.

All right, music time now.

What's next?

It's the top of the hour.

Let's have the top of the hour jingle.

And then after that's a bit of white stripes for you.

This is the voice of the big, pretty castle.

It is the top of the house.

Ooh, that's wonderful.

I got support with the last hour and get it.

Wow, so that's the White Stripes with Seven Nation Army.

Very apt, of course, because Jack White's done the theme tune to the new Bond film.

That's right.

And we've heard that Sir Roger Moore is in the house.

He's going to be joining us around about half past the hour.

And we're going to have to get our questions together for him, get them in order.

We are.

Oh my lordy.

There's a good reason we don't use... I mean, we've made an exception, because Sir Roger is important to us both.

We don't usually have guests, so we need to apologise in advance to our listeners.

And Sir Roger, if our interviewing

A style isn't particularly evolved.

The last time I think we interviewed a human person, famous or not, was when we did this show called Adam and Jogo Tokyo, was it not?

Right.

Years ago, like 2003, we were out in Japan and we were doing a show about popular culture.

And I would say generally our interviews were poor.

I did lots for Radio 4, for the film programme on Radio 4, and I was just much too blunt with very famous people.

James Blunt.

I was quite rude to Robin Williams about the film Patch Adams.

Why?

I just thought I should tell it to him straight.

Did you really?

Yeah, I thought, Robin Williams, you've been kowtow to all day, Cornish is going to play hardcore.

About Patch Adams?

Yeah, about a run of very disappointing.

And Sir Roger, in no way will I do anything like this.

I'm going to be so reverential, it's almost going to be sickening.

But with Williams, I stepped over the line and he looked genuinely depressed.

What the hell were you thinking about?

I felt ashamed after the interview.

I thought, wow, he's a human being after all.

He has feelings.

He's Patch Adams.

What did you say to him about that?

I said, what were you thinking?

No, did you actually say those words?

I said, what went wrong?

What were you thinking?

Oh my lord.

And what did he say?

He said, I don't know.

It was a bad decision.

You know, it was just, it was all bad.

The hair started falling off his forearms.

But you know, that's in the past and this is going to be a very exemplary, you know, it's going to be a very, this interview is going to be played back at BBC workshops to show how to conduct a respectful reverential interview.

Yeah, I believe that.

Fingers crossed.

Now, Joe, when you have arguments with people, whether it's a girlfriend or a friend or whoever, do you, and I'm talking not so much emotional type arguments, but I mean, all arguments are a bit emotional, aren't they?

But about facts, specifically disagreements about facts.

And then if you find out years later that that fact actually, you know, you were right and they were wrong.

Yeah.

Do you do anything about trying to get back in touch with the person?

Well, I feel that with this question you are hoping that I, you know, will sympathise with you because you do that quite a lot, don't you?

Do you think I do?

Well, you're the man that thought aeroplanes travelled at the speed of light.

Yeah, I did.

Until you were how old?

No, I was young-ish.

You were in your teens there, weren't you?

No, I was 11.

I was 11.

Yeah, but I can't think of a time when that's happened to me, but it's obviously happened to you recently, so get it off your chest.

It didn't happen that recently.

Seven years ago when our first son was born.

I remember the night that my wife came back from the hospital and he was sleeping in our room.

And I like to have a fan on by the bed, right?

I like the noise of it.

It's environmentally friendly.

It's really not, so I've stopped doing it.

But there was, at that point, I really, it was summer as well and it was very hot anyway.

I like the fan on.

And we had this massive argument, me and my wife, about like, you can't have the fan on because the babies don't like it.

It's really dangerous.

The baby might die.

It's terrible.

You've got to be so careful.

We had a huge, I was like, it's a fan!

The baby would like the fan!

I like, well, I want to keep the fan!

This is a disaster!

We've got a baby now and I'm not allowed to have my fan!

My whole world's being turned upside down!

So it wasn't a very mature argument.

But anyway, I gave in obviously.

So this was seven years ago?

Seven years ago.

Today.

Cut to the present day and?

I'm flicking through what's it called?

A week magazine and here in their health and science section, fans reduce the risk of cock death.

Parents may be able to reduce the risk of cock death by putting a fan in their baby's bedroom.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Adam Buxton got into a big argument with his wife about this seven years ago.

No, it doesn't say that.

But I'm so excited about taking this back to my wife.

But you've decided to read it out on national radio.

I'm the king!

Just to rub it in.

Poor old Sarah.

Is that mature?

Yes, that's exactly the kind of thing a grown man does.

I was just checking because I wasn't sure.

There's a little kernel of doubt there about whether it was mature or not, but I'm glad you've come.

No, well done.

Thank you.

Let's put your wife in her place.

Thanks very much.

OK, here's some music now.

This is the Brazilian super sexy combo CSS with move.

That's CSS with Move.

This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.

We're going to have another go at our fantastic new accents competition now.

You can't call it a competition.

It's not a competition.

It's a feature.

It's a happening, a feature, an event.

OK, there's no competitive element to this what's about to happen at all.

The idea is, can we recognize real or fake accents?

How good are people at doing accents?

And this is, of course, coming off Adam and my obsession with

bad accents in movies, English actors doing terrible American accents, and vice versa.

So how, genuinely, how easy is it to spot somebody who's putting on a foreign accent?

So we've got two callers on the line.

They are either pretending to be foreign or are genuinely foreign, and we have to decide whether they are really foreign or pretending by the quality of their accent.

I would say to both of those people, while they're listening right now, have a magazine or a book handy.

Some text that they can read out.

Yeah, nothing filthy, obviously.

And until the moment when we ask you to be truthful, you can be as deceptive as you want with us in terms of what you say your name is, where you say you're from, you can invent an entire background for yourself, all designed to convince us that you are genuinely of the extraction that you're claiming to be.

So we've got Rebecca on the line, I think.

Hello, Rebecca.

How are you doing?

I'm fine.

And this is your accent we're hearing now in full effect, is it?

Yes, that's correct.

It just sounds normal to me.

It sounds like you're English.

No.

No?

I'm from Texas.

You're from Texas?

Yes.

Would you read out a little extract from a book or a magazine if you have one lying around?

Okay, sir.

I'm reading from Good Homes, an article by Xander Rhodes.

It says, how would you describe your style?

Colorful, I'm certainly eclectic because I'm a collector, a hoarder even.

That's real.

That's real, isn't it?

That sounds to me like a genuine Texan accent.

That's very good.

Is that not true?

No, I am.

There you go.

And whereabouts in Texas are you from?

I'm just north of Dallas.

Oh.

Just north of Dallas?

Uh-huh.

Are you just from just north of Dallas right there?

See, that's not quite such a good accent there.

Well, no, if I was in a film, if I was in a film, that's how I would do it.

Whereabouts would you say that accent was from, Rebecca?

Oh, the bowels of hell.

I don't know what that was.

Stockwell.

I was pretty rubbish.

Are you a resident of the UK now?

Yes, I am.

I'm a citizen.

That was too easy.

Was it easy?

No, it wasn't easy.

It's just so genuine, your accent.

It sounds so ingrained.

Can you do a British accent, Rebecca?

I knew that was coming.

No, it's really bad accent.

Give it a shot, read out that same bit of text.

Imagine you're in front of cameras, you're playing an English person, you've got to crack an English accent.

Read that same bit of text out in the best English accent you possibly can.

Go.

That is brilliant.

See, it sounded the same to me.

No, that was good.

Yeah.

That was good.

OK, well, thank you for calling, Rebecca.

Sure.

You're very kind, perhaps, for being from Texas.

And do you know the band Spoon, Rebecca?

I'm familiar with their work.

Yeah, they're from Texas.

That was a little bit of Texas bonding for you.

It was very good.

It was lovely.

Very primitive.

Thanks a lot, Rebecca.

Thanks for listening.

We've got Decus on the line now.

Hello, Decus.

Hi, Decus.

Here.

Hey, Decus.

What nationality are you claiming to be?

I'm not claiming.

I'm Trinidadian enough.

uh... dikas dikas he went for whatever elected these calls when responsible for selecting these calls hat dikas if you've got a uh... magazine or a book handy there that you can read from for a little while you know i have something uh... called uh... let me see enigma about the and it was called you know i was standing in the middle of a clearing in the pine forest just outside the land and i realized that i must have found what i've been seeking

OK, deacons, deacons, you can stop there.

You had better, for the sake of the BBC and our guidelines, be genuinely where you're saying you are from.

Yeah, I grew up near Chigonas.

You were?

I was part of Spain.

Spain.

Chigonas.

Yeah, yeah.

You heard of V.S.

Nightfall?

Yes.

Yes, absolutely.

He grew up there, man.

Right, right.

Deakus, is that real Deakus?

Now you have to speak with your real accent because we believe that maybe you're putting that one on.

Yeah, you've rumbled me.

Decus.

That was a good attempt, but you know the thing that gives away a lot of people when they're putting on the accent is a certain nervous breathlessness, do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Well, that was sort of undone by its broad stereotypical nature.

Actually, as kind of close observation, as kind of Jamaican, stroke Trinidadian accents go, I thought it was not too bad.

Really, I did.

I thought it was too bad.

I thought I'd like to get into it at the end, though, and I started talking about night pool and everything.

Right.

I was really in habit the role.

You know, that was the bit that actually made me think you were clinically insane at the bit.

I think if there's a skin color difference that the casting people would be so unlikely to cast you as someone from Trinidad.

Yeah, but you do get a lot.

I'm actually half Trinidad.

there you go you do get a lot of it's funny hearing white Trinidadians who with a very strong accent yeah yeah because you you sort of assume they're putting it on yeah well deek as well yeah I think you fooled Adam there it's your name really deekas Jack

Well, Deekus, you really fooled Adam there.

How did he fool me?

You thought he was real.

I did not think he was at any way real.

I thought he was doing a decent job of a decent, if insane job of pretending to be from Trinidad.

But Jack, thank you very much indeed for your call.

Have a good weekend.

What are you up to this weekend?

I'm going to Norwich.

It's where your wife is from I think or something.

East Anglia, we're living near Norwich, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, but I grew up in Norwich.

I'm going there to see my parents and my Trinidadian uncle.

Excellent.

Have a great time, and thank you for listening and calling Deekus.

Yes.

Have a good one.

Take care.

I'm not going to stop calling him Deekus.

Cheers, Jack.

So there's that experimental competition.

I'm not sure how that played out in the end.

What do you think?

It's a tough one, isn't it?

Maybe we come back to it.

Certainly won't get working on the jingle just yet.

We're very excited to listen to have Sir Roger Moore in the studio.

We'll be talking to him in a matter of minutes.

Probably after the news.

But before we do, here's some more music for you now.

Listen, this is a free play and this is field music.

Have you heard any field music, Joe?

No, but I've heard they're good.

They are good, yeah.

Someone's left the phone off the hook and it's making its alarm noise.

The off the hook alert.

It's good, isn't it?

It's one of the good things about modern life.

No, it's not actually field music.

They're good.

It's an unusual sound.

It's like a cross between Steely Dan and Gang of Four or something.

You know what I mean?

Like angular on the one hand, but sort of smooth and harmonious on the other.

Anyway, listen to this.

This is walking to work.

Working to work, not walking to work, you idiot.

Can't you get anything right?

No.

You know what?

We do it on purpose to keep people engaged.

Exactly.

That was Field Music.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.

A bit more music now, then the news, and then we are going to be meeting Sir Roger Moore here on the programme, so do stay tuned.

Right now, here's Travis.

Travis with Something Anything.

This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music.

It's nearly time to meet Roger Moore.

After the news and a bit of music, we will be doing exactly that.

I can see him through the window, Joe Cornish.

I know.

He's through there.

I wonder if, did he do any accents?

Was he, he wasn't really an accent.

Well, we can ask Sir Roger that.

I think, I seem to remember him being in a Nazi uniform in one of his films, maybe Escape to Athena or From Athena or whatever it was called.

But can he do a good Trinidadian one?

Well, if there's any show that's gonna test that, it'll be this one.

Time now for the news.

007, a fantasy Bond theme.

That's Barry Adamson there.

Very good.

And our guest in the studio recognized that, of course.

That's the theme from Matt Helm, he said.

But I think he knew, of course, that it wasn't the theme from Matt Helm, as he is.

It wasn't the persuaders.

It was, yeah, there you go.

It was TJ Hooker.

We are very pleased to welcome Sir Roger Moore to the studio here.

How are you doing?

Thank you, Adam.

I'm doing very well, thank you.

Thank you.

Hello, Sir Roger.

I just want you to say my name.

That's all Joe.

Thank you.

Oh Thank you very much for coming in.

I've got to say this is a very big moment for the child inside me because Man, I used to love all of your films like everybody pretty much everybody else of our generation and everybody else in the country You didn't stop loving them though.

Did you yeah?

No, I yes you did when you met Robin Williams No, they

You know, a lot of people have lost track of the bonds because... Joe's got overwhelmed by... He's got all starstruck.

Sorry.

Yeah, no, no, no.

I think what Joe was saying is very nervous.

Because... This is weird for me as well, because I was watching The Spy Who Loved Me yesterday with my young son, Frank.

He'd never seen it before.

Was he in it?

No, he wasn't in it.

Oh, I see.

He was watching it.

I was showing it to him and I wasn't sure if I should show it to him or not because I thought maybe it was too grown up for him Do you know what I mean?

Like he's he was he's only five or something Well, I don't know I don't think there's anything particularly frightening in it.

He was freaked out by Jaws in there

Well, I was too.

Yeah, I mean he thought he thought he was very scary unsettled by the metal teeth and That kind of thing imagine if jaws had done what was the marvelous form with Tony Hopkins?

With those creepy Yeah, but poor Richard Kiel he could only keep the you know last about 60 seconds and

with the teeth in.

I'm sure.

If you ever chewed a piece of silver paper, and it was like having that in his mouth, it would start gagging after a while.

Horrible.

You had a technique for playing opposite those villains so much, didn't you?

Like a way to respond, it says in your bio a way to respond to their evilness.

I just imagine, sometimes you didn't have to imagine, that they had halitosis.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Halitosis, which is something to do with something between the toes.

Yeah.

And then you, yes.

Jerry Halitosis, yes.

So you recoiled and winced from the imagined bad breath there.

No, it's just, go back slightly.

Yeah, yeah.

Now, Joe is being very careful about keeping the Sir at the beginning of the game.

No, no, no Sir.

Really?

No Charlie, Mary, anything you like.

Really so you're not I mean cuz you know, that's it's nice to be knighted.

I want to be knighted It's not gonna happen, but I can arrange him.

Yeah, if you could that would be ideal.

I will speak to HM How long ago were you knighted?

I think I think it was five years ago.

Yeah, I mean that is good Isn't it being out of being a knight of the realm and but but you don't I mean people generally would address you as sir Roger would they out of respect?

Well, that is the correct form of address for a night at KBE, but sometimes it's CERNOR, which is not, of course, but it doesn't matter.

You don't get shirty about it.

Why would I?

I don't know, some knights would, I can imagine.

Well isn't, who's the famous actor that goes into a terrible tizzy if you don't call him?

Ben Kingsley, isn't it Ben Kingsley?

Rumour has it.

Surely not.

This is not something I've heard off anybody who knows him, but apparently if you don't call him Sir Ben, he goes into a rage.

He goes into a little Gandhi-style rage and starts- He has a fit.

Wow.

Well, he was Gandhi.

Yeah, exactly.

Right.

So he's more noble than the rest of us.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Gandhi at the one end of the spectrum and at the other end, the bloke from Sexy Beast.

Have you seen that film?

Oh, uh... Sexy Beast.

It's brilliant.

It's very good.

You've got to watch that one.

It's got Ray Winston in it.

Oh, it's Ray Winston.

Yes, he's marvelous.

Now, we have been asking some of our listeners to send in questions because we were keen not to just ask you the same questions that everybody else asks you.

I mean, what do you get asked most often?

What's the key?

Are they your own teeth?

Yeah, yeah.

What do I get out here?

Who's your favorite Bond girl?

What was your favorite Bond film?

Right, right.

We're not going to ask one of those.

No, we're not going to ask either of those.

But a question lots of people are asking is whether you use or while you were playing Bond, whether you use the character at any time outside of the films, for instance, to attract ladies, or you were happily married during most of the Bond years, weren't you?

I think you can say happily I was married.

Yeah.

But did you ever use your bond skills, your voice or the persona outside of the films to, you know, to gain leverage in life or any situation?

No.

But surely you could slip into that voice and those mannerisms at any point and, you know, stun people.

Well, the voice and the mannerisms of me and, you know, you say, but it's the same in The Saint, the same in The Persuaders or Ivanhoe or Maverick.

I don't change.

Yeah.

What about Brian from Norfolk says, and this must have been asked to you before, so I apologise if it has, has any lady ever wanted you to pretend you were James Bond when you were making love?

You know, like a little sexy scene from a Bond movie.

I really want to know, says Brian.

It must have happened.

You don't have to go into detail.

Well Brian, I'm not going to tell you these things.

You might get too excited in Norfolk.

I shall be in Norwich.

I'll be in Norwich this week signing books.

Oh good one.

So Roger's point is that you kind of never snap out of character.

You are the character.

Yeah.

Yes.

In a very rewarding way.

So it's not a question of a woman having to request that.

It's just 24 hours a day.

Yeah.

Non-stop.

He's got a license for that weapon.

Which is a fantastic thought, isn't it?

Yeah.

Now, we're going to play a bit of music and after this we are going to play you our bits of music that we've created for the new Bond film, Quantum of Solace, but we would very much like your opinion.

I look forward to hearing it.

First, here is Source with You Got the Love, Candy Staten there with The Source, You Got the Love.

We are here in the six music studio with Roger Moore, Sir Roger Moore.

No, Charlie Moore.

Jimmy Moore, Johnny Moore.

Now we should explain.

So I'm going to carry on calling you Sir Roger.

It feels wrong not to.

We should explain what's about to happen.

We have a segment on this programme where Adam and I write songs.

And we pick a theme each week and we go away individually and we craft these songs.

When I say craft, I mean that in the loosest sense of the word craft.

And the theme one week was to make prospective theme tunes for the Quantum of Solace to try and second-guess the producers and see if we could come up with a better theme song.

So we are going to now play you, maybe just to ease you and gently, one of those theme songs.

Yeah.

And see what you think.

Have you heard the new theme song to the Quantum of Solace, the Jack White and Alicia Keys song?

I heard it once.

Did you have a strong opinion on the theme songs in the Bond movies you were in?

Erm... Because you had some of the best.

You had Live and Let Die.

Great, great piece of... For Your Eyes Only is great, Nobody Does It Better is great.

I always had a soft spot for Moonraker as well.

Moonraker's fantastic.

Bassie.

No, they were all good.

You know, the one thing about the Bond films that you can be sure of, they're going to be good music.

Yeah.

And I hope... What about Madonna one?

Obviously you couldn't say anything at all.

Did Madonna one?

Yeah, she did.

die another day yeah analyze this fried it had all sorts of weird talking in it and it was odd well it's it's genuinely regarded as though as the weakest thing yeah yeah let's play ours now do you want to go first Joe sure yeah yeah mine is it's just called the Quantum of Solace and and see what you think of this song sir Roger

He's got a gun and great big mantas He's got jugulars and tiny trunks Damned you to dentures furious with him He's gone completely out to lunch The quantum of solace I don't know what that means What does it mean?

Well he's having flashbacks in

The suntum of the woods, the suntum of Qualys.

Did I get it confused?

I've got Disney stars, but he's nearly dead.

No really, nearly.

It's much more pretty than before.

No silly gadgets, just looks more fighting.

With that French bloke that does parkour.

The thingy of what's that thing of Boris?

I forgot what it's called, is that what it was?

Sometimes I wish Roger Moore would come back With an underwater car or some kind of jetpack Or a hover-punder car and a union jet Forget it, mate, it's not the ATs He'd rather kick you in the face We've got a new bond for the noughties

The quantum of solace The quantum of solace

It's lyrically provocative, Sir Roger, and I don't expect you to respond in detail unless you want to.

Those are my opinions.

I say Don Black, eat your heart.

Oh, that's very flattering, I think, even though I'm not entirely sure who Don Black is.

He wrote first of the lyrics for one song.

Really?

He was the lyricist.

And along with Carole Beasega and Robin Hamlish.

Right.

And Leslie Bricus.

Right.

Well, that's very flattering.

Joe's thesis there, Roger, is that the Noughties have got the bond they deserve, a nasty, brutish bond, as opposed to the rather more fantastical and romantic one that you personified.

Do you agree with that?

Yes, I do.

I killed them with love.

Yeah.

He kills them with his fists.

You had a consciously slightly comic approach to Bond though, didn't you Sir Roger?

Your approach to the character overall, because you thought there wasn't like an absurdity to the character in the Fleming novels.

Well, the fact that a spy is recognised in every bar in the world and they immediately say a martini-shaker not Mr Bond.

How can you be a spy?

How he comes Bond the spy?

I was talking about arguments that you settled years later earlier on, and I remember a flaming argument that my parents had when I was very little about whether Bond had a martini not stirred or stirred not shaken.

And my dad was saying, no, no, he has it stirred, not shaken.

My mom was like, what are you talking about?

It's steak, shaken, not stirred.

And they had a huge bust up about it.

And they don't live together anymore.

That's not the reason.

Too many martinis.

Yeah, exactly.

That was probably the thing.

Anyway, I just mentioned that by the by.

I'll play you my Bond song now.

Okay, I look forward to it.

This is my Quantum of Solace song.

Here we go.

I'm James Bond, I'm a spy and I'm working for the Brits.

I've got cars and guns and gadgets.

I've got ladies with big braids.

I've got licenses to kill.

I've got licenses to fish.

I've got sex

But here's my biggest wish I'd like a quantum look solace But no more than a quantum I know they do big bags of solace But I don't want them I only want a teeny tiny slice of solace Before I shoot you... Bottom location chase Bottom location chase shooting dirty baddies in the pissy farm

So, Mr. Tharn.

Yes, hello.

And you want to stop me?

I do want to stop you, yes, but only if it's exciting.

I met a lovely lady, but found out she was a rotter.

So we exchanged some saucy quips, I snogged her, then I shot her.

But I felt quite mad because I'm such a modern cop.

This job gets to you and maybe that is why I'd like a quantum of solace But no more than a quantum I know they do big bags of solace But I don't want them I only want a teeny tiny slice of solace Before I shoot you

Quantum of solace I'm saying the name of the film of the music Quantum of solace I've been looking at you still

I think we will meet again, Mr. Bond.

OK.

It's a little drama for you within the sun.

Well, I think it's absolutely lovely.

You miss some obvious rhymes with wits and things like that.

BBC.

But how the devil did get Michael Caine playing Bond?

He thought that was my best Roger Moore in there.

Oh, I see.

Well, not many people know that.

Now, Sir Roger, Roger, it's been really nice meeting you almost at the end of the show, and I feel frustrated because it took us a while to get over our nerves at meeting you.

It's quite overwhelming, and I imagine a lot of people who do meet you do get very tongue-tied and star-struck to have someone as iconic as Bond suddenly in front of them, and you are... You're talking about me.

Yeah, Joe Cornish.

Do you get a lot of nutty fan action?

Do you have to be sort of careful sometimes?

No, but my favourite one is when people say, are you who you think you are?

Yeah.

Would you be interested in doing a spin-off Bond film that Adam and I might write?

You know like Sean Connery did Never Say Never Again?

If Adam and I were to come up, find some kind of legal loophole,

and write some kind of Bond film because I think you're still, you know, you'd still be great.

Harrison Ford is back in there.

Everyone's coming back.

You know, the rules are being broken.

Would you be up for that?

How much?

Money.

Right, so that's the key question, isn't it?

We could do 50 or 60 pounds.

We'll talk to BBC Worldwide.

Oh, this is a BBC budget manager.

They've got lots of money.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

So that's a yes.

Yes, yes, definitely.

All right, listeners, we're going to have to write that film.

And yeah, that's exciting stuff.

Roger, thank you so much for coming in.

Yes, thank you.

And we should stress, of course, that your book has been a highly enjoyable read for both of us.

Thank you.

My Word is My Bond is the title, and you're looking very sexy in there.

We both thought you were fantastic on Jonathan Ross the other day.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

How was that?

We were speculating as to whether, what's it like then when you go on the show?

Do you get given like a little drink in the green room there beforehand?

No, there's water.

Right.

And that's it.

Oh no.

That's Adam's phone.

How disgusting.

Isn't that disgusting?

That is my wife.

Can you believe that?

What is she thinking about?

Is she getting Sir Roger to answer for God's sake?

That was a bit unprofessional of me not to turn the radio off.

Listen Sir Roger, thanks so much for coming in.

It's been an absolute honor and a pleasure.

Thank you, Joe.

Thank you, Adam.

Don't stop looking at me.

I just freeze up because I'm so starstruck.

Well, you're quite exciting to look at.

Well, I know.

So it's a dangerous combination.

I mean, this sort of television without pictures is good.

It's electrifying radio.

But not for you.

No, we really do appreciate you coming on this show.

I think you're either going to kill me or kiss me when you hit me.

That'll kill you if I kiss you, I tell you.

It's going to be kiss, kiss, bang, bang.

You never know where my tongue has been.

Well, what a superb way to end this week's show.

We're going to play you out.

What are we playing them out with?

A bit of Curtis Mayfield, I think.

Oh, yeah.

This is a bit of recessionary music.

This is called Hard Times.

But thank you again, sir, Roger.

Thanks for listening and texting and emailing and calling.

Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw.

Don't forget you can download the podcast either tonight or tomorrow at some point.

And you can listen to the whole show again on Listen Again or the iPlayer.

Thank you very much, listeners.

Have a good week.

Thank you.

See you next week, Roger.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.