Alright, you're the only bee in my bonnet.
There's no other bees.
Just stop going on about it.
Happy now?
Yeah, I'm happy.
That's They Might Be Giants with Birdhouse in your soul, kicking us off this Saturday morning.
Hi, this is Adam Buxton.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish, and it's very nice to be with you listeners.
Thanks a lot for tuning in.
We'll be here for another two hours and 55 minutes here on BBC Six Music with some fantastic music.
With some fantastic music.
Is that how I said it?
No!
Oh.
Um, we've got also the amazing result of this week's Song Wars coming up very soon.
We've got a brand new Song Wars, Tex the Nation, plus terrific music in this first hour alone from the likes of Badly Drawn Boy, yeah, Kate Nash, yeah,
Thomas Dolby.
Which, which, oh, is that your Dolby?
Yeah, a bit of Dublin coming up.
Nice bit of Dublin.
Uh, and the water boys.
Is it the whole of the moon?
Oh, it's a session, yeah.
The whole of the moon in session.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I really need.
Um, and then later on, are they playing the hot chip song?
I got obsessed by that song during the week.
I should have asked them if they could put it on the playlist.
I bet it's not on there.
Can't see it, mate.
Oh, and there you go.
Anyway, lots of other good stuff to look forward to, though.
Lots of great chat-chit.
Oh, we love to chat and chit.
So stay tuned, folks.
We love to talk chit.
Certainly.
Right now, here's Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
I was watching a good program on BBC Four this week about pop, you know, their pop season they have at the moment.
And they had some great interview footage of Morrissey on there.
It was a program all about sexuality in pop, you know, and it was a kind of history.
It seemed to be more or less through the 80s.
of all the different kind of sexy acts.
That's officially when they started bending the genders.
That's right.
The gender benders came out.
Well, they invented a new type of, you know, vice that could actually bend genders.
Yeah.
Oh, that's my favourite vice.
Yeah.
And Morrissey was on there, of course, because he's a sexy man.
They had some great footage of Morrissey being mobbed by male fans, but sort of lads, you know what I mean?
Like people in those kind of checked shirts with scary haircuts that you feel might beat you up if you looked at them the wrong way.
And they're all Morrissey fans and they're jumping out.
Right, but not really rockabilly though, they looked like sort of football thugs.
Right.
Um, you know, not to, uh... Was Morrissey enjoying it?
He seemed to be enjoying it.
Yeah.
Yeah, he liked it.
But it was exactly as if he was, you know, as if they were girls, as if they were sexy girls, but they just happened to be these blood... Does he gender-bend Morrissey?
I think he likes to bend the gend.
Really?
Yeah, a little bit.
He might have a little bit of a crush on a man as well as a lady.
He likes to hold hands with some boys and men.
Does he?
Yeah, not boys.
But you know, this is bad, isn't it?
No, it's good, is it?
That's very good.
It's all good.
Yeah, no, he's gay, Morrissey.
Is he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I didn't know that.
No.
Well, that's the thing.
That's why it was part of the programme, you know.
It's not something that's at the forefront of his image, you know what I mean?
No, that's good, isn't it?
Yeah.
He doesn't thrust it in your face.
No, unless you're really friendly with him.
But I saw it as part of the pop season on BBC Four last night.
Spice World.
Mmm.
Now, uh... What a film.
What a film.
And what kind of an excuse is that to put Spice World on BBC Four?
What was the excuse?
Oh, because it's part of the pop season.
Yeah, that's not good enough, is it?
Not really.
You can't have Spice World on BBC Four?
Yeah, that's just not right.
Well, presumably the idea was that it's a sort of insane pileup of pop mess.
Well, that's correct, but it's just awful.
Is there a good bit in Spice World?
No, no.
Like even ironically or in any way?
No, no, no, none, none.
Richard E. Grant's.
No.
Finest moment.
No.
No.
No.
Do you think it's worse than Hudson Hawk?
Yes.
It is much worse.
It's awful.
There's almost nothing there.
Hudson Hawk's not bad.
Yeah.
Have you seen it, man?
It's quite good.
It's quite good.
Yeah.
But yeah, and I was thinking about Morrissey as well, the way to do a Morrissey impression is to just jut your chin out.
Is that it?
And then if you can do the Manchester accent as well and that helps a little bit, but his accent's not that strong, mainly just jut your chin out and then you sound like Morrissey.
That's a good idea.
It's sort of foolproof impressions.
Well, you had a Harry Potter one, didn't you?
Did I?
Yeah, Harry Potter's easy.
You just do a sort of a jimba jaw.
You stick your lower set of teeth out.
That's what I'm doing for Morrissey.
No, this is a much more toothy thing.
You stick them out so they overlap the upper set.
And then you just go, Dumbledore.
And with Morrissey you just go, Manchester.
Easy as that.
There'll be more foolproof impressions, possibly coming up later in the show, but now here's a little bit more music.
This is a free player of yours, is it?
Yeah, I picked this one because Bobby Fischer, the chess genius, died this week, of course, or last week.
And this is a song all about Bobby Fischer, and I never really understood it when I was a young person.
You got me into this album, Prefab Sprout.
Yeah, this is a great album.
I think it's the debut, isn't it?
Swoon.
Yeah, it's that album Swoon.
I bought it, uh, on, like, proper old vinyl, uh, in W.H.
Smith's, in, uh, what's it called?
Sloan Square, on Impulse.
I just like the look of the cover.
Were you wearing Impulse at the time?
Yeah, I was, no, I was on Impulse.
Ooh, like, intravenously injected Impulse.
Jesus.
And this cover really hit the spot.
So, who is it then?
Prefab Sprout with?
Q Fanfare.
Prefab Sprout with Q Fanfare from their first album.
That was a slightly premature jingle there, Ben.
You're not a trainee, but just to save your modesty, I'm going to call you a trainee.
Frankly, that's the level of producing that was going on there.
He prematurely activated his jingle all over the shop.
Because I was going to say how fantastic that song is and how much I think we both here at the Adam and Jo Radio Show love Paddy McElhoo.
And we're not sure where he is.
We think he lives somewhere in the countryside, somewhere a bit remote.
He's got a big bushy beard.
And he's a genius.
That's like me.
He's a bit like you.
Big bushy beard.
Lives in the countryside.
No, I'm not in any way like Paddy McAloon.
We did a TV show years ago where we had a thing that we did with pop stars where we searched through their record collections and we tried to get Paddy McAloon involved in it but he said he didn't want to do it because he didn't like judging other people's work in public.
Which was a very good reason, nothing you can say to that.
Yeah, the club, although we did get Thomas Dolby.
We did, he loves judging other people's work in public.
Yeah, but of course the prefab sprout connection is that he produced them for a few albums.
Dolby produced the sprouts.
So he gave us a lot of good mac-a-loon facts and stories.
Do you remember him?
Yeah.
Do you?
He was a good man.
I've got it all filed away in my happy pop memory box.
Now it's time for song wars of course, as the premature jingle indicated.
And last week, remind me what it was.
Uh, last week's theme was instructional songs for children.
There you go.
And, uh, Adam did one all about brushing your teeth.
I did one, uh, about sort of the difference between right and wrong.
That's right, I'm gonna be beaten this week.
I know for a fact.
Why?
It's not, I'm not saying that in a self-pitying way, I really, I'm not.
I just know, I concede A to the fact that your song was, uh, probably better than mine last week, uh, funnier, more, uh, effort had gone into it.
Mine was about... I was happy with mine.
There were some good harmonies there.
I think it was very good, instructionally, about brushing your teeth and the importance of avoiding dental work.
But, you know, the fact that you were on form, combined with the fact that I lose every week, just bodes badly, I would say.
So shall we announce it?
Well, we've got such a huge amount of emails on Song Wars this week.
I haven't even had a chance to go through them all, really, but here's one or two of them.
Um, Caroline People said, Adam, your song was an improvement.
It sounded a bit like a blur, slowie, if they were to write about toothbrushing.
An improvement?
Is she the one that slagged me up last week about how my song was smacked of ennui and it was too long or something?
I don't know.
But she does say, I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself for being so scornful last week.
I think she was being rude about me last week.
I think she was rude about all of us last week.
Andrew Boniface says it's another vote for Mr. Joe this week, that's very nice.
But both were really great.
Forget all the criticism from those spoiled, unappreciative listeners, Song Wars must continue.
We were threatening to stop Song Wars for a bit last week.
Can we not carry on threatening?
We can carry on threatening.
Fiona Denny says, please don't stop Song Wars, even though its popularity hasn't been validated by a BBC survey.
I love it.
Yeah, that was very nice.
That was good.
Yeah.
Well, shall we announce the winner then?
Alright then.
What were you gonna say?
We should have a kind of jingle for this, shouldn't we, to give it more excitement?
We did have a jingle.
It was part of the Star Wars thing.
It was the dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Is that not loaded then?
I don't know if it's still loaded.
We sort of abandoned the whole Star Wars check.
Fairly early on.
Okay, here we go.
That's good though.
The sound of you just ripping that is exciting.
Oh dear.
Oh, shut up.
Oh, dear.
What's that?
3%?
Does it say 3%?
Let's put it this way.
One of us has got 3%.
What?
The other one's got 97%.
Look, come on.
In this situation... We need to find those votes.
Well, in this situation, I want to have proof.
How many votes did we actually get in?
Yeah, okay.
Are we talking 15 votes here?
In which case I can live with that.
While we play the winning song, we'll get some more, sort of a more accurate statistical breakdown of exactly what's happened.
Because while I can see that the toothpaste brush song, which was mine, was maybe not as good as yours, it was not 3% rubbish, all right?
So I want some facts now, okay?
Because this is getting ludicrous.
Anyway, let's hear the winning song.
Joe, would you like to introduce this?
Yeah, this is the right and wrong song.
It's about how to tell the difference between right and wrong.
Is it right to join a gang?
Is it right to kill a man?
Is it right to buy a gun?
Is stabbing people fun?
It's wrong!
This is all about right and wrong!
The first things are wrong!
This is all about right and wrong!
Is it right to read and write?
Is it right to be polite?
Is it right to work at school?
Don't ever play the fool!
It's wrong!
This is all about right and wrong!
Those things are right.
This is a song about wrong and right.
Is it right to have a smoke?
Light a split force and have some coke?
Is it right to deal crack?
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's wrong.
This is a song about right and wrong.
And those things are right.
This is a song about right and wrong.
Is it right to sit up straight?
Is it right to clean your plate?
Is it right to clean your room?
Learn facts about the moon.
It's right.
This is a song about Ron and Wright.
Those things are right.
This is a song about Ron and Wright.
Is it right to happy slap?
Is it right to black, black, black?
Is it right to trash your place?
Put your party on my space.
It's right.
Well, we've consulted, and apparently there were about, there were 37 votes for Joe's song, and there were four for mine.
I thought she said 60 votes overall.
No.
And on the text as well.
Was that right?
What?
So 60 included texts as well?
Yeah, some texts as well.
Thanks, Ben.
Well, she said 37.
Why are you trying to increase your number even now?
I'm just trying to make it sound as if more people vote.
To make the show sound bigger and more exciting.
Don't worry about that.
What I'm worried about is why I'm wasting my time doing a song each week.
Your songs in the past have been superb.
That was a good toothpaste brush song.
You know where I think it might have...
You know, it's very ignoble of me to say, but I think maybe you shouldn't have used the same backing track as the Meatball song.
You've used similar tracks that I've used before, and you've won on them?
Well, I don't know.
It's very tricky, isn't it?
Maybe some people are confused about which of us is which.
Yeah.
For instance, David Slater sends an email that says, this week I vote for Joe.
I was impressed with his production, although I believe children should make up their own minds about euthanasia.
And so suggest the line, Is it right to kill a man?
Be changed to, Is it right to kill a man who doesn't want to die?
Or something similar for the full release version.
That's fair enough, isn't it?
That's a fair point.
I also like Joe's Thumbs Down webcast.
Right.
He's confusing me with you.
He thinks I did the radio head stuff.
Every single good thing that happens is basically Joe's.
I also saw a video with Adam that was good, where he was on Richard and Judy's You Say We Pay.
So he's confusing lots of things you've done with me.
Yeah.
And I think that happens to us quite a lot.
Sometimes we get invited on shows and they've clearly invited the other person.
They look a bit disappointed when they see, you know?
Does that ever happen to you?
So maybe that's what's... Let's say that's it.
So Song Wars... I'm calling for a Song Wars sabbatical.
Really?
That sealed it as well.
That one.
That is a kick in the face.
That should make you want to, you know, do even better.
No, it doesn't.
It makes me want to have a break.
Really?
Yeah.
For at least, I would say, one month.
Song Wars sabbatical.
Really?
I thought you would be up for that.
Uh, I don't know.
I quite enjoy it.
Yeah.
You were complaining before Christmas that it was too much.
Uh, let's have a little chat about it during the next song, maybe.
Song chat.
But, you know, thanks for everybody who voted Song Wars.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Now, look what you've done listening.
Thank you.
Look what you've done.
Thanks, four people.
Sincere thanks to four people.
The rest of you.
I would happily fight you with my hands.
Here's Adam in the Ants after a trail.
Oh no, it's just straight Adam in the Ants.
Adam in the Ants with Xerox.
He was pronouncing it Xerox-moshine there.
Really?
Xerox machine!
That's like an emotion machine, a machine.
Yeah, he gets very emotionally involved when he photocopies.
What was Adam and the ant's trademark, would you say?
Their trademark was, well, his trademark was the white stripe across the cheekbones and nose.
Yeah.
Even though that was just one part of his, one of his many looks.
Yeah.
But it was the best one, wasn't it?
Did that remain constant through all of his different looks?
Did he have?
It went through a few of them, but then he changed.
Like when he was the spaceman, do you remember when there was the spare thing?
Yeah, yeah, I like that song.
Apollo 9.
Yeah.
That was a good song.
And then he was, well, yeah, he was, because he had the stripe through the sort of pirate phase and through the dandy phase as well, didn't he?
The Prince Charming phase.
We might be talking about Popstar's sort of physical copyright ideas.
Trademarks.
Trademarks, yeah, a bit later.
protects the nation might not haven't really decided yet listen just to just to dally on the song wars thing for a tiny bit longer here's an email from Lily Elbra aka Queen Latifah I'll read this in full it's not very long Adam I do not mean to hurt your feelings if truth be told I would rather vote for you joke and be quite smug but I cannot ignore your lack of effort week after week you shouldn't have put that Lily
It is with heavy heart that once again I have to give my back into Joe's song.
I hope this folk will not fill you with despondency, but instead motivate you to seize the challenge of next week's wars.
I know you have it in you.
She actually says, I know you have it on you.
I know you have it in you to create a truly inspirational piece of music.
After all, look back at your triumph with the hours, perhaps the best Song Wars song of all time.
Come on, Adam, you can do it.
Well, I'm not going to respond to that just at the moment.
I might respond to it later on.
But right now, here's the news read by Nicky.
Now, I was listening quite carefully to the second half of that song because, to be honest, my alarm bells went off there.
Adam, are you listening?
I am.
I'm looking at the lyrics online for that song.
Yeah.
All I want to do is gunshot, gunshot, gunshot, and take your money.
Then she says, some are murder, some are murder, some are Lego.
Yeah, as if murder is a children just did she not listen to my song as if murders like a game for children Yeah, you know, I know we're both quite old listeners But I think that song might have stepped across the line you reckon I'm trying to find the lyrics I think it's ink just encouraging kids to to hold up shops and then come steal Lego, right?
Well, it's putting murder on the same level as a little game of Lego.
Lego Wars.
You know, and it's all very well being ironic and tongue-in-cheek and all that, but there are some people out there that don't have the mental capacity to understand.
Ooh.
Ironism, there are.
Well, the thing is... Little kids, for instance.
You can't, as soon as you start...
It's, uh, talking like that, though, isn't it?
You're in trouble, aren't you?
I know.
But, uh, I've got the lyrics here.
I fly like a paper plane, get high like planes.
Now that's irresponsible for a current drug use.
And irresponsible flying without a license.
Irresponsible flying?
You know, Alex James would never do that.
Nope.
Or Gary Newman.
They've done proper training for flying like planes.
catch me at the border i got visas in my name if you come around one visa that's totally legal you're not allowed to do that no that's all right she could have visas for different countries oh really if she's got the paperwork if she's made the proper application that's not a problem plopper plopper if it's plopper that's fine it's not probably she's done it plopper if you come around here i'll make them all day
I'll get one done in a second if you wait.
So she's talking about paper planes now.
She's making paper planes.
Oh, is she?
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
So this is, at the moment, all about paper planes.
Sometimes I think sitting on trains.
Oh, sometimes I think sitting on trains while I'm sitting on trains.
Yeah, fair enough.
Every time, every stop I get to, I'm clocking that game.
Everyone's a winner.
We're making our fame.
Bonafide Hustler, making my name.
Chorus, all I wanna do, bang, bang, bang, bang, and uh, click- Are you sure she's making paper planes?
She's not making something else out of paper.
I don't think so.
What would she be, a big fat doobie?
Yeah.
Oh, maybe she is, I don't know.
She might be shotting food, as they say.
Ooh, is that what the kids say?
Yeah, the crow.
The crow's got the stuff.
Shot the crow!
The ching chong!
All I want to do bang bang bang bang and a click ching and take your money.
So that's the chorus.
Pirate skulls and bones.
Sticky stones.
Pirate!
And weed and bombs.
Oh dear.
Running when we hit them.
A lethal poison ponde system.
Right let's have that off the playlist please Ben.
That's a disgrace.
That shouldn't sully Six Musics Airways.
It's a very tuneful song but just irresponsible and a bad influence.
No one on the corner had swag like us.
Hit me on, hit me on up on a, hit me on, hit me on up on a prepaid wireless.
What?
Disgusting.
Disgusting.
She's prepaid for the wireless.
We pack and deliver like UPS trucks.
Oh, she's got a job now.
Already going to hell.
Just pumping that gas.
She just, it's, oh, she's...
Highly irresponsible good song.
This is disgusting.
Let's clear the air with a sample that sample was Straight to hell wasn't it the clash very entertaining you saw yes.
Well very good song yeah, but totally irresponsible No, that's like poison with with sugar on it exactly vice versa
Here's Thomas Dolby from the 1830s with a track called Europa and the Pirate Twins.
This doesn't sound good next to mine.
Yeah, this is a nice little story from the 80s when all people cared about was their trousers.
Thomas Dolby with Europa and the Pirate Twins.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
That used to be the theme tune for a BBC radio show called B-15, if I recall correctly, which came from studio B-15.
Am I insane?
And they'd use the opening bars of that song.
Maybe some nerd out there can correct me if I'm wrong.
Yeah, we're big fans of Dolby.
I love Dolby.
Yeah, he's the man he claims at least to have invented the synthesizer.
Does he?
No, he never does.
Or maybe some people claim it for him.
He may have popularized Synth Pop, but Robert Moog was the inventor of the... Really?
The father of modern synthesizer music.
He probably invented some components of it.
Maybe.
Some new sounds?
Yeah, well, certainly his parents were part of the Dolby Laboratories, weren't they?
I've no idea.
I think they were.
I think there is a connection with Dolby System Sound and Thomas Dolby.
Wowza.
Hey, listen, listeners, it's now time for the nation's favourite feature, the greatest and cleverest feature in the world.
It's complicated, so get your thinking caps on while we explain exactly what happens.
But first of all,
Uh, here's the jingle.
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
Yes, it's Text the Nation time.
This is the part of the show where we ask you a thing and you text us what things, what you think of in answer.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Once they text us, we read some of them out on the radio.
Is that loud?
Yeah.
yeah okay so do you get that listeners uh and this week's subject for text the nation is uh what's it going to be well uh it was your idea it was i don't know how to put it pithily but it's kind of pop star trademarks yeah and um you know maybe
as well as your favorite ones, for example, Bowie's eyes.
We should explain what we mean by pop stars, a trademark.
Some pop stars, usually really famous ones, have a visual trademark.
Physical gimmick, maybe.
A physical gimmick.
But if you're very lucky... It's a natural one.
It's a natural one.
Bowie's multi-coloured eyes, Tom York, he's got what's going on with his eyes.
I don't know, I think he's got a slightly lazy eye with all due respect.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
Something brilliant's going on.
I think whether it's from an illness or I don't know why.
He might be self-conscious about it, but as far as I'm concerned, it gives him this brilliant mystique and makes him seem even more brilliant.
So if you're very lucky as a pop star, you might have some kind of amazing physical kink speciality kind of thing.
If you're not so lucky and you haven't got this genetically, you have to kind of invent it.
Right, so you end up with Amy Winehouse's beehive, or Grace Jones's plaster in the 80s.
Didn't she used to have a really cool plaster?
Yeah, or maybe she, was she one of the first people to shave a section of her eyebrow?
Possibly.
Maybe I'm imagining that.
Possibly.
If you're Adam Ant, obviously, you've got the stripe going across the nose.
We'd like to know, listeners, what your physical trademark would be if you were a pop star.
And this is an area where you've got to innovate.
You know, pop's been going on for a very long time.
A lot of the most obvious ones have been used.
So try and think outside the box.
Something that you could walk on stage with and people would immediately go,
That person's interesting.
Yeah.
Even if they sound rubbish.
That's right.
That's what I need, you see, to revitalize myself.
The song was, I need some... But it's no good on the radio, obviously, is it?
If you're a seal, had those kind of scars, didn't it?
Did they?
Scarred cheeks?
Yeah.
Yeah, Ben's nodding.
I never understood what the deal was.
Was that from having, you know, what's it called?
Well, some skin condition, acne, severe acne, or, uh, I don't know, we can find out.
Yeah.
In the case of seal.
Okay, let's find out.
So text us.
What's the text number there?
Um, oh, it's six four zero four six.
So text six four zero four six with your idea for life, uh, physical trademark.
My physical trademark would be, uh, that I'm quite short and a little, a little chubby.
I think you should have, uh, I think you should get your feet made extra hairy.
Like a hobbit.
You're capitalised on what you've got already.
Yeah, go to a plastic surgeon and get them, get them beaten up a bit.
Yeah, well that's the way to go, isn't it?
Object them so they're hairy.
If you're gonna, if you're gonna, um, really make a success of yourself.
I'd be made taller.
I was gonna say, yeah, we could beat you on stilts.
I'd go on a rat.
That would be good.
You'd be staggering about on stilts.
What would your stage name be though?
I don't know.
Joe Longthorn.
Joe Longthorn.
Yeah.
I do a weak comedy act.
A very strong comedy act.
So text 64046 if you can add other things to the package like the name, type of song you'd sing, other items of clothing.
You know, we want a really good set of ideas for a new, you know, pop look.
Malcolm McLaren used to be brilliant at doing this, right?
He used to come up with the kind of costume and the image before he came up with the star.
Uh-huh.
Right, he came up with the idea of pirates for Adam and the Ants.
That's right.
Right.
The Burundi drummers and all that stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what did he come up with for Bow Wow Wow?
What was that image?
Nakedness.
Just a very young girl, naked.
Just nudity.
Yeah.
That's a picnic.
And hey, who wouldn't like that?
No, exactly.
That was very nice.
Annabella Lewin, was she called?
Something along those lines.
Yeah, what was her?
I mean, she, that was sort of scandalous at the time, wasn't it?
She was really young.
It was a reference to Le Dégionet, sur l'herbe, to l'herbe.
Parrenoir.
Oh, Renoir.
I love Renoir.
I don't like him so much.
Why don't you like him?
His latest paintings are not very good.
I love all of the Renoir.
Ugh, they get me excited!
So, oh... Here's a session track from The Water Boys.
This is called The Hole of the Moon.
There we go, The Water Boys with The Hole of the Moon.
That's a session track.
That was recorded for Radio 1 on 21st of June 1986.
That must presumably have been very soon after they recorded the actual track, as it sounds almost identical, doesn't it?
Yeah, they're very tight.
They know exactly what to play when.
And Joe is speculating that maybe that song is about a mooning competition.
Mmm.
I think it is.
It's about a man and a woman who kind of fall in love via mooning each other.
And at one stage, they're very young and he gets grounded for mooning, but she moons back and she moves back.
She fills the whole of the sky.
She does, but first of all, she tries it and she goes too high.
He's too fast, too soon.
Yeah.
No, no.
He can't see the whole of the moon.
And then when she gets it right, when she's really got the mooning motion right, he's very impressed and he sees the whole of the moon.
He does.
And then it's, he falls right in there.
He falls right in love with her.
When was that recorded again?
86.
That's a little comedy routine from 86.
There.
Let's send that back in time and maybe someone will find it.
I'm sure no one else has ever said that before.
Now, Adam, you've got some some fact-correcting to do there.
All I ever do is housekeeping, apologising to people.
Sorry I didn't try hard enough and song wars.
Sorry I got this wrong.
Sorry I got that wrong.
That's why everyone loves you.
That's why nobody- They're so human.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, so yeah, obviously wrong about Thomas Dolby.
Sorry, nothing to do with Dolby laboratory.
And after going on about how many- how much time we spent with him.
Yeah, obviously I forgot everything.
How many great anecdotes- Maybe he was lying to me.
I'm sure I've got it in far away in my pop box that he said he was connected to Dolby.
The Dolby nickname.
excuse me, comes from the name Dolby Laboratories, obviously, and it was given to him by school friends due to his seemingly inseparable relationship with his cassette machine.
Dolby Laboratories were reportedly very displeased with Robertson, his, that's his real name, Thomas Morgan Robertson, during, uh, because of
the fact that he used the company name as his stage name, they tried to sue him and stop him from using the name Dolby entirely.
Eventually the case was settled out of court and it was agreed that he would refrain from using the word Dolby in any context other than with the name Thomas.
Really?
Yeah.
So Dolby Laboratories would be furious to have someone like me clearly confused about it.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Because then their whole court case just amounts to a hill of buttocks.
I tried to make that difference.
You succeeded.
Well done.
Very well done.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, you might feel a little shiver down your spine because it's the top of the hour.
Ooh, we've got a... Do we call this a sweeper?
Yeah, check it out.
You love Lupe Fiasco, don't you?
I like that track a lot.
I think that's been at number one, hasn't it?
Hasn't it?
I think I've lost track of the charts.
Does anyone keep track of the charts?
Are there charts anymore?
No.
No.
Single's dead, mate.
Single's dead.
Everything's killed in single.
Digitally streamed between teenagers... man bags.
Well, you know, funnily enough, that's the theme of Song Wars this week, isn't it?
That's true.
What is the theme of Song Wars this week?
I forgot.
It's piracy songs.
There we go.
About net piracy.
Illegal downloading and piracy.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe this is the last Song Wars ever.
Says Adam.
The last one.
Alright.
Ever?
Ever.
Well, for a few weeks at least.
Are you not worried that your anger about song wars will be seen as a kind of grumpy reaction to losing?
Which would be, which would be, you know, extraordinarily bad sportsmanship.
It would be bad losing to a degree that's never been witnessed by mankind.
Well, you see, the thing is, losers would be ashamed of this.
We losers would think, we don't want this loser with us, losers.
But then I would balance that with all the free time I would have.
Because like, for example, this week, how long did it take you to do your song this week?
Uh, let's say four, four hours.
Four hours.
Three or four hours.
Really?
Yeah.
In one session.
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
It took me about two and a half days.
Well, yours is probably a lot better than mine, though.
Yeah, but they usually do take me about two and a half days.
So when I get emails from people saying, you could try harder, do a little better.
You couldn't try harder.
It's galling because I am trying my tits off.
Okay, so let's go through this.
I need some time back and you know, it's not a good arrangement for me.
My worry is if we don't have song wars, there's just going to be a big void in the show.
I can spend two and a half days preparing some material, reading some newspapers, doing things that radio disc jockeys do.
Well, let's see what the listeners have to say about that.
Well, it's not up to the listeners.
Isn't it?
No, it's not.
It's a public service broadcaster.
This is the BBC.
We're not on some trendy London stupid station anymore.
We're working for the public.
No, no, no.
We're working for the Queen.
Wrong.
You're working for the public.
Prince Philip loves this show.
Does he?
He would be furious.
He'll kill you.
Well, if Prince Philip had voted for me in Song Wars, things might be different.
Anyway, shall we play the jingle?
Get ourselves into this week's Song Wars.
It's time for song wars.
The war of the songs.
A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs.
So check it out.
You know, and maybe, maybe the fact that last week's toothbrush song was not quite so strong had something to do with the fact that I'd spent all week making jingles.
What about that?
That's true.
Adam's made some very good jingles for the podcast, which is currently available on the Adam and Joe page on the Six Music website.
None respect.
I sent you a nice email saying they were brilliant.
Okay, so Net Piracy.
Yeah.
And there's two obvious ways to go, I would think, with a song about Net Piracy.
What would you think those ways were, Joe?
I don't know.
To make a song about Net Piracy would be one way to go.
Well, no.
Musically.
Oh, I see.
Well... What style would... I would say the obvious style... Pirate style.
Right.
Sea shanty.
A shanty style.
Yeah.
Did you go for the sea shanty?
Like a shanty.
uh-huh yes exactly like a shanty uh no i didn't no right no now the obvious the other obvious way of going see i think you've won already because you've actually thought about uh what way did you go i just went with uh kind of a sort of impassioned rock uh lecture right shall we hear that then all right then this is maybe you know you remember my meatball song yeah your bowie stadium rock thing this is maybe that in the same vein as that okay
Yeah, this doesn't even have a name, but this is a cautionary song about illegal downloading.
You ready, Ben?
You look worried.
You can do it wrong again.
Give me the nod.
Here's the nod.
Imagine sting without a house, living on the street.
Imagine if Led Zeppelin could not afford to eat.
Imagine if the Rolling Stones had to gnaw on filthy bones That's what might happen if you all keep illegal downloading The foundations of rock and roll will slowly be eroded
You might get tunes for free But you'll destroy the industry The cops might come looking at your door You need to search this to the floor Imagine Kate Nash penniless Amy Wattenhouse, a bruiseless mess Kylie Minogue, without a dress Radiohead, even more depressed Okay, so those things sound quite cool I haven't really thought this through
But that's what might happen if you don't think we all choose You wanna turn the world into some kind of stupid, it'd become you Without functioning economics, we'll no longer have the stereophonics But damn it, that sounds better too But you get what I'm trying to say to you Imagine he did it all so quickly
Just to pay the fair to take the bus to the city Imagine James Blount, a stinking vagrant The Kaiser tubes would choose to pay the fees Picture the Spice Girls forced to work as Vice Girls And the killers employed as road drillers If that's what you really want then keep on illegal downloading They'll have to pay live just to survive In fact it's all they can't already admit
Bands can't make no money no more Without an international stadium tour If you're gonna download then go ahead Because recorded music's already dead It's not... It's not strictly true.
It's not strictly true that recorded music's already dead, but it did rhyme.
Yeah, yeah.
And also you're sort of ignoring some of the other trickier issues about, uh, in legal downloading and the...
You know, impact that it has on the industry.
Does your song address those?
Not really, no.
I mean, it is very difficult.
Did you, did you, uh, wring your hands a little bit?
Did you have a little bit of anxiety about, cause you know, there are strong arguments both ways, aren't there?
Uh, what?
There are arguments pro illegal downloading?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely, I would say so, yeah.
Would you say so?
Yeah, definitely.
Does your song posit any of those arguments?
Not really.
We'd better hear your song, man.
Well... What kind of approach have you taken?
You know what?
I really tried this week.
I really, really did try.
Because I took the comments of the listeners to heart and I thought, well, it's no good me complaining about things if I really don't put 100% in.
So, you know didn't have anything better to do this week and shoved all my other tasks to one side and really tried my nuts off but still I'm gonna lose because you know because you you've got like because my song is insane
Is it?
It's totally, it's totally demented.
Because I get lost in the music.
Right.
Do you understand?
I'm like a kind of very, very bad Brian Wilson.
Whereas you're, you're a kind of Richard Stillgoer.
These are foregone conclusions.
You're offering, let's hear the song and let's make our judgments on the back of the song.
Well I went the other of, I thought that this was the obvious way to go.
Right.
Would be to use a very familiar piece of music.
To actually kind of illegally violate someone's copyright.
Exactly.
In the actual song.
And what would be the best piece of music to use?
Uh, I don't know.
Well, here we go, have a listen.
Oh, what'll ever look at that film today?
But I don't think I'm gonna pay.
Cause I'm bad, and I'm still, I don't care, I don't fail, I don't take anything you got.
And I put it in my pocket, yeah.
I still films, I still books, I still books, I still looks, I still kids.
Well, I don't steal kids by my mind.
That's the mind of a pirate.
Did you hear the hate and greed?
And our beloved entertainment biz is where the dirty pirates feed.
And I don't mean terrorists and their golden compass knock-offs.
I mean you and your downloads.
Oh, I ought to knock your block-offs.
How do you think this stuff gets made?
You think artists create it?
They don't get paid, it's the only reason they do what they do It's not the flippin' work, most of that's poo They depend on the money that you idiots give So they can make more crap, and so they can live the good life Yes, the life of the stars But you're taking their pools and you're taking their cars, you bastards You better believe it, pal, cause we're evil, we're stars
And we're gonna play some music And nobody at the party's gonna pay Yes the world is changing I don't like it But that's the way it is So we've hooked up some statistics That will show you how you're ruining all the finely tuned mechanics Of the entertainment biz Every file that you download to your computer represents
made possibly and even if you're buying other stuff that's don't make up for all the phantom profit that you've slayed I don't care cause I'm mental I'm evil and I deserve to be locked up cause I'm a horse and I smell and I want to go to hell cause Satan's
End of days, though because it is an old one And it could take quite a while, I might have to go and buy it anyway!
Oh my god.
What day is it now?
What day is it?
Well, you know, that was, uh, it's not the longest, it is the longest one I've done, I think, yeah.
How long was your one?
Oh, who are you?
Well, I was trying to put the effort in, wasn't I?
That was amazing.
My bohemian rhapsody.
That was so produced.
Yeah.
That was great.
I think that was an inspired choice to use the music there from the BBFC's insane anti-piracy thing you get on the front of all the DVDs and stuff.
That's right.
Which you can't skip through.
That was very good.
Which you can't skip through.
It's a nightmare.
And of course the irony with that is that if you're watching it, it's almost certainly not a pirated copy you're watching.
It's a legitimate copy.
That's the big beef that people have with that.
Anyway, so get your votes in immediately, folks.
64046 is the text number if you're listening live, or if you're listening on the Listen Again, or maybe even on the exciting new podcast that's now available from the website.
You can email us adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
Right now, here is, this is, is that really how you spell Gary Newman?
No, it's not.
They've spelled it N-E-W, like he's a new man.
That's incorrect.
N-U-M-A-N is how you spell Newman.
And I chose this one for you, listeners.
Hope you enjoy it.
This is Music for Chameleons.
There we go.
A little bit of winsome lady pop for you.
That was the Sundays with, uh, that's where the story goes.
Here's where the story goes.
Is that what it's called?
Here's where the story ends.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music.
The show where we get as many facts wrong as possible in a three hour period.
The names of songs.
The names of artists.
The names of paintings and who they were painted by.
It's all wrong.
This is what you get if you hire people from television.
Yeah, you know, we don't care.
We're just hopped up on booze the whole time.
A disgrace.
The other thing is, we do it on purpose.
Right.
Because that gives you at home a chance to feel clever.
Exactly.
You can correct us and you feel, you know, good about yourselves if we got everything right.
What would you, how would you feel about yourself?
We wouldn't want you to feel, we wouldn't want you to feel inferior.
Yeah, it's good to feel slightly superior to people on the radio and to think they're not very good.
Exactly.
Because then you can email complaints and stuff, all kinds of details.
Everyone loves complaining to the BBC, that's why it exists.
People love complaining.
Yeah, it's just to vent everyone's angry fingertips.
It's a big complaints clearing house.
Here's an email from Gary Williams about the Morrissey gig last night.
Now, continuing on the theme of being factually inadequate, we're not sure quite what this gig was an aid of, but it was at the Roundhouse.
Anyway, the email says, Hi, Adam and Jo.
I'm surprised there hasn't been any mention of what happened at the Morrissey gig at the Roundhouse last night.
Oh, my lord.
That said, I did miss the first few minutes of your show, so apologies if you covered it already.
No, Gary, we didn't.
Basically, Gary's email says, Moz was three songs into his set and there was the occasional croak.
as he struggled with notes.
At the end of the song, Moz says, you see steroids, injections, antibiotics, no good.
Before launching into the next song, I just want to see the boy happy, which he simply could not sing.
It was quite painful and worrying to watch.
He kept on trying and then walked off mid-song, with the band finishing the song, then walking off themselves.
the lights stay down.
But obviously the audience are probably all thinking pretty much the same thing.
The minutes pass, with the crowd occasionally singing, More is... No, More is See.
More... I'm not reading that correctly, am I?
More is See.
More is See.
He's written in a confusing way and it was over the end of the line.
Because they want to see more, is that what you were thinking?
Yeah, yeah, more is the, we want to see more, we want to see more.
Quarter an hour later, Russell Brand, Jonathan Russell, David Williams, Whaliams, he's written it, Whaliamson, walk on stage looking really bloody nervous, it must be said.
Brand grabs the mic and basically says, we all love Morrissey.
Audience boo!
Brand, no, no, we all love Morrissey and he's sick, so he can't come back on tonight.
Audience boo!
Uh, at this point, Jonathan Ross takes a mic and says, listen to him, pointing at Walliams, uh, no, and says, what?
Ah, this email makes no sense.
Basically threatens that Walliams is gonna sing the I'm a Lady song for half an hour.
Uh, then Bran tells us all we'll get the chance to see Moz somehow, something will be arranged, and that's it!
The gig ends!
Whoa.
What were they doing there?
Did Morrissey just have Russell Brand, Jonathan Ross and Walliams in the wings?
I don't know.
Was it some kind of BBC event?
Maybe.
Must have been.
They were all BBC names.
Well, Jonathan Ross has Morrissey on his show next week.
Does he?
And obviously Jonathan's show was on last night when Jonathan was at the gig.
Jonathan tapes his show on a Thursday, I think.
Right.
So obviously Jonathan... His TV show.
Had no idea about it.
Yes, yes.
Wow, I wonder what's gonna happen.
Poor old Morrissey, that's no good, is it, if you're losing your voice?
Presumably that's just a temporary thing, though, it's nothing career-threatening.
Steroids, injections, and antibiotics.
Yeah, but you know, if you've got a cold and you're doing a gig and stuff like that, then that's what they give you, that kind of thing.
Steroids?
Little bit of steroids.
Really?
Fix up your voice, make it seem like that!
I don't know, I don't know what pop stars do, but there's all kinds of things.
I did a gig, a stand-up gig, just on Monday, and I wasn't used to it, and I lost my voice pretty much by the end of a ten minute set.
But you struggled through?
I struggled through, but that's just one little gig in the middle of nowhere.
Imagine if you're a singer, you have to do it every single night.
Anyway, so, well, speedy recovery, I wish you well, Morrissey, and, um, here's some Kanicki for you, right now.
That's Kanicki with Come Out Tonight.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
It's time now for the news at 10.30.
That was The Psychedelic Birds with President Gass!
Text-a-nation!
Text, text, text, text-a-nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation!
But I'm using email!
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Yes, Text the Nation this week is all about what kind of a sort of physical visual trademark you'd come up with if you were launching yourself as a new kind of a rock act.
We've had one or two reminders of some existing ones.
This is from a guy called
Wildo or wildo?
I'm not sure.
W-I-L-D-O.
Wildo, I would say.
Yeah, so's not to rhyme with the other word.
When Weezer became successful, Rivers Cuomo had a leg surgically lengthened because it was shorter than his other one.
Really?
This is according to Wildo.
If I was a rock star, I'd like to have one of my normal legs lengthened.
Then I would perform on a sloping stage and remain stable compared to my other bandmates.
And I could sell branded orthopedic shoes from the merchandise store.
Like Marilyn Manson.
Does he do that?
Well, he's got, you know, he wears kind of...
It.
Does it.
Do whatever it is.
He wears kind of orthopedic shoes and stuff, doesn't he?
And calipers and all.
He makes himself look grotesque.
There's no wardrobe rules.
No, he'll wear anything.
He does have wardrobe.
He's got strict wardrobe rules.
Does he?
Oh yes.
He wouldn't wear anything nice.
There you go.
Do you know what I mean?
He wouldn't wear anything from the gap.
The drummer from Def Leopards only got one arm, we're reminded.
That's right.
Gabrielle.
He was famous before his accident though.
Right.
He had to make do with... But you know, it was obviously terrible for him in some respects, but also increased his fame.
In other respects, do you think, you know, there's a silver lining to every cloud?
People were impressed by the fact that he overcame adversity in that way.
Absolutely.
Amazing drummer.
Is Gabrielle's sleepy pirate eye considered a natural showbiz enhancement?
I thought that was purely an affectation.
No, I think there's a reason.
She was on this morning the other day, Claire is nodding, producer, lady.
Right.
Yeah, there's something going on there.
She's got a doctor's note.
It's not just for fun.
Yeah, she does have a medical note for that.
Okay.
So there are some real ones apart from Wildo's long leg.
That wasn't real.
Uh, here are some more not real ones.
Andrew in Newmarket.
On one side of my face, I'd have a beard, but no moustache.
And on the other side, I'd have a moustache, but no beard.
That's good.
That's quite good, isn't it?
Well, you know, last week we played a song, um, by Peter Hamill from Vandergraf Generator, and I said on the cover of his album,
You can see him on the future now with one side of his heavily bearded face shaved and the other side not.
Well, that's a sort of famous mime artist's trick to kind of draw a line down the middle of your nose and then have one character on one side and then you turn to the right and left, don't you?
Yes.
Offer opposing profiles.
Ooh.
Uh, but, uh...
That's a good idea, Andrew.
Here's another good one from Ben Douglas, who says, I would have a continuously bleeding nose and would sing aggressive Britpop.
That's a good idea.
I mean, distressing.
And you'd have to, how would you do that?
You'd have to have some kind of pipe implanted.
It couldn't be real blood, otherwise you'd faint, or it would just be horrible and filthy and disease spreading.
We'd have to be fake blood.
You'd have to, after each gig, you'd have to have like a medical team standing by to give you infusions.
Well, this is if it was real blood.
Yeah.
I'd go for the fake blood.
Well, if it was fake, would people buy into that?
It's exciting, though, because when he sang a really powerful lyric, it would sort of gush.
That reminds me of Andrew W. Cage, you remember him?
Right.
He, like, he was on the cover of his album with his slows all bloody, wasn't he?
And I always just thought that was his thing, because every time I saw a picture of him in the paper at a gig or whatever, he seemed constantly to be bleeding.
Yeah, our old school friend Omar Fadli used to say that the hallmark of a really good heavy metal gig was if his ears bled.
Right.
Yeah.
So that's in that kind of vein, I suppose.
A bit of bleeding.
Matt in Bristol.
Uh, no.
Hang on.
Sorry, Matt in Bristol.
I'd put a star by yours by mistake, because actually it's not good enough to read.
Sorry about that.
No, hang on, maybe it is.
If I was a pop star, I would always wear Jesus sandals to show off my freaky half a toe.
So the thing about that is Matt saying that, look, I've got this freaky half a toe.
Yeah.
If I became a star, a thing that I usually conceal and am slightly anxious about.
Yeah.
I'd go the opposite way, I would trumpet it.
Absolutely.
You know, I'd make it my absolute, the key to my character.
That's the way to go, isn't it?
That's what pop's like.
Yeah, turn it, use it to your advantage.
That's what pop does.
You start off, you get a physical affliction, it makes you feel like an outsider.
You use that, that's your strength.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That's the idea.
And here's one from Aiden.
I don't know about half a toe, then.
Why not?
I think it's good.
I don't know how much strength you can get from that.
I think it's good.
Here's Aiden who says, I'd have a 70s glam guitar like Dave's from Slade, but it would be surgically attached to my tummy.
My fans would yell, play another riff from that grotesque belly tar of yours, a belly tar.
I also fancy sporting an eye patch.
Well, one thing at a time, Aiden.
Another thing would be called, you could call it a gutter.
I like the idea because if you've got an in need belly button, if you've got an in need belly button, that's like the echo chamber from a guitar.
So you just put some tiny little strings across it, have them surgery.
Hey listen, if you've got an outie belly button though, it looks like the cone in the middle of a speaker.
That's true, or a dial.
Right, you could have your whole stomach turn into an amp.
Yeah, and your outie belly button could be a dial.
A couple more.
Go on then.
Here's one from Mazz in Maudsley.
Isn't that a mental institution?
Yeah, but it's probably also a place.
I'd go down the Anne Boleyn route and have an extra finger attached, so I could add an impossibly complex synth harmony to my gangster greensleeves rap.
I like the idea of an extra finger, because if you hold the microphone like Tony Hadley used to, the little finger goes up in the air.
Imagine if there was a second little thing that was very long, you know, people wouldn't miss that.
That would be scary.
Like Mutia as well, she holds her mic like that.
A lot of R&B ladies favor that with the pinky sticking up at the end.
I don't like it.
And sometimes they tap the mic.
Some people sip their tea with that little thing.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting.
Keep them coming in.
Your ideas for innovative physical trademarks were you to be a rock star.
The text number is 64046.
Now here's a confusing track from Los Camposinos, and it's called Death to Los Camposinos.
What are they even about?
Let's find out.
There you go.
That's Los Camposinos with Death to Los Camposinos.
That was an enjoyable racket, wasn't it?
And that is their new single, which is out on the 18th of February.
I believe, yes.
So go out and buy it, kids.
Okay.
That means you.
Are we doing Texanation stuff now?
No, not yet.
I think we'll have a bit more music.
Come back to it in a second once we've gathered some more.
A little rest.
Yeah, little rest.
Who's your favourite member of the Cabinet at the moment?
Oh, I love the Cabinet.
To me, they're kind of like a great football team or, you know, the cast of Star Wars.
I wish they'd produce action figures.
I'd have little debates, games.
That's a good idea.
Why don't they produce action figures of the Cabinet?
Because they change all the time.
They do action figures of almost everything else, though, don't they?
Going to Forbidden Planet these days.
I tell you who's my least favorite member of the cabinet.
Who?
The one that's like, um, the one that, the one that's on the airports.
Man or woman?
No, she's a, she's a woman and she went to our school.
I've forgotten her name.
Oh, Ruth Kelly?
Yeah.
Yeah, she's a bit duplicitous, isn't she?
She looks like her.
A little fat boy out of the beat now.
Well, they all look a little odd.
I was looking at a photograph of Miliband the other day, David Miliband, ex-environment secretary, and now the foreign secretary.
And look, there he is.
I'm showing you a picture, Joe Cornish.
And he's got a real sort of... He's got a little helmet haircut.
Yeah, what's wrong with him?
And don't you think that he looks a little bit like Hilary Swank?
Don't you reckon?
Like dressed up as a man, doing her boys don't cry thing.
he looks evil he's crazy looking though isn't he he looks like a boy i mean he looks like a sort of 18 year old yeah tranny man anyway i was um i was impressed with the uh i always forget that the name of the uh it's like a detective series tranny man like the man from atlantis yeah
But his detective powers just stretched her wearing women's clothes.
Yeah, being a tranny.
That's a good idea for David Walliams on ITV1.
Tranny man.
Yeah, I always forget that the education secretary or the school's secretary is called Ed Balls.
Yeah, that's unfortunate, isn't it?
But, you know... It's not good if you're in the government, is it?
No.
I was thinking... He's good, though, actually.
He's quite good on telly and stuff.
He speaks well.
He doesn't talk balls.
Considering.
Right.
He doesn't, no.
Having that name's probably led him to cultivate, you know, quite a confidence in life.
Yeah, yeah.
Is there an entertainment secretary?
Uh, I don't know, there's a culture secretary, isn't that James Parnell?
Right, right, culture, that would be the same, wouldn't it?
He could be called Robbie Rubbish.
I'm just thinking of, uh, all the variations on air balls for the, uh, for the, uh, cabinet.
Yes.
Health secretary Colin Crap.
Well, it's just a thought.
Hey, here's a free play from me.
I saw... I've seen it a couple of times actually.
David Fincher's new film.
It's not really new.
It was out last year.
Zodiac.
Have you seen Zodiac?
Yeah, it's good.
Zodiac's a masterpiece.
It's really good, really scary.
It's very long.
If you haven't seen it, rent it out and see it.
I watched it in two sections.
Yeah, put aside a good, you know, uninterrupted session to watch it.
It's really good.
One of the things I particularly liked about it was to see killings done like they used to be in the old days, you know, without loud shock sound effects, without flashy cuts.
Like a good, proper, scary atmospheric.
Well, it's set in the 70s, isn't it?
It is.
And everything about it is late 60s to early 70s.
That's when the Zodiac Killer was operating.
He made his first kill on my birthday, in fact.
That's nice, man.
Save my birth.
Lovely way to celebrate.
that's nice yeah but this is a track that fincher fincher uses over the very beginning of the song and he uses fantastic music 60s and 70s music during the film he uses hurdy gurdy man by donovan and makes it sound utterly sinister and that's the deal with the way he's used the music lots of kind of quite positive songs but in this context that suddenly become
you know, weirdly creepy and evoked that creepiness about the 60s, that kind of Mansonesque terror, you know, the terrific freedom, obviously, culturally, was being espoused, but at the same time, it was a sort of terror that people were too free, and things were getting out of control.
This is a song, I think, that was originally from the hair, from hair, the musical, and I'm not sure what context it was in there.
Well, that was the beginning of the entry.
For a start, running around naked on stage is a total disgrace.
This is over the very beginning of Zodiac.
This is three dog night with easy to be hard.
Ooh, creepy.
That's a good, that's sort of out of character for that band as well.
Isn't it?
I don't really know much about three dog night.
They did Jeremiah was a bullfrog Do you remember that one?
No, yeah vaguely vaguely.
No, I don't that was pretty upbeat.
That was good easy to be hard by three dog night This is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music now folks.
We've got an exciting trail for you Alan car the key I always think of her smoking the quit smoking guy died, you know, he's the Alan car I've only got space for one Alan car in my well
Make new space because there's a new Alan car in town and he's sitting in for a Stephen Merchant tomorrow.
Here's a trail that details that situation in greater details.
Is that a new cave or old cave?
Cave experts, any cavemen here?
No, no one knows.
Now we're gonna have furious cavemen emailing in and saying how dare you not know.
That was Dig Lazarus Dig, Dig Lazarus Dig by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.
And this is Adam and Joe here on Six Music.
Over to you, Joe.
Thanks a lot.
Let's do a few more texts that we've had in from Text the Nation.
This week's theme is what kind of physical copyright thing, you know, eccentric facet would you have if you were a pop star?
So, here we go.
Here's one from Andy.
He says, I have a small extra bit of skin on the outside of my ear, about half the size of a 1P.
Isn't that normal?
Everyone's got one of those.
What, the lobe?
Hang on, whereabouts.
Let's take these headphones off.
On the outside of my ear, whereabouts, where do you think the normal bit is?
Well there, that's your earlobe.
That's the lobe.
You need to be more specific about where on your ear it is, please Andy, if you're still listening.
He's saying my hair could be flicked over my ear for video shoots.
What's even cooler is my daughter has the same feature, so a dynasty of extra ear bit stars are born.
I wonder if he's saying he's just got big ears.
No, he's got some sort of extra bit.
We're worried about that, Andy, because we think that human beings generally don't know precisely what's in their ears or on them.
There's all sorts of flaps of skin going on there.
Well, ears are one of those things that can vary hugely from one person to another.
Just might not stand out enough.
And also, it's not one of those things unless you've got absolutely nutty ears, you know?
It's not one of those things you really notice until you actually study them and then you think, oh, look at that!
This person's got very small ears!
But I tell you what, I like the idea of a damaged ear, like, uh, like Corey, uh, Haim Feldman.
Corey Feldman in Stand By Me.
You know a burned ear.
Do you have a damaged ear?
Yeah, that's the thing that in that film, I'm not, they do reference it, but you kind of notice it without anybody saying it at the beginning.
But that's a... His dad slammed his head onto the cooker or something, it's in the narrative.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
The actor doesn't have a really damaged ear.
No, he's fine, he's just got it damaged.
Like a shredded ear, that would be quite good, wouldn't it?
A shredded ear.
You know, a little bit shreddy.
Yeah.
Do you think?
Well, maybe not.
There's something wrong for a popstar to have a damaged ear, though, because, you know, it's all about music and sound.
Yeah, but Brian Wilson, he was deaf in one ear after his dad walloped him, yeah.
There you go.
Beethoven, of course.
This is one of my favourite ones from Steve in London.
He says, how about gills?
Gills is good, yeah.
You see, gills is very good.
Kind of a fish man.
Well, a webbed- webbed hands.
You know, some people do have slightly webbed fingers.
Webbed feet are common.
I wished that I had webbed hands when I was younger.
Did you?
Why?
Because there was a program called The Man from Atlantis on when I was, uh, Tottie.
And I just thought that would be the coolest way.
Whenever I was swimming, I used to swim like The Man from Atlantis.
you know in a sort of mad you keep your arms down by your sides and you just wobble about like an eel and you sink you sink but Patrick Duffy was able to do it and you know propel himself through the water at terrific speed and also he had wept
And he was very ashamed of his webbed fingers, but I just thought, no Patrick Duffy, you're lucky to have the webbed hands.
That would be good, though.
Gills would be great.
You could sing underwater in a massive tank.
Yeah.
Gil Scott Herron.
Yeah, well done.
And somebody called Brother Mark?
Maybe he's a monk, I don't know.
He says, I would stick a post-it on my breast pocket with little reminders like, buy Marmalade, play Brixton, or call Jane back.
Now that's like Prince rising slave on his head, right?
Yeah, but a sort of more bureaucratic version thereof.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Well, what about the young knives?
They pretty much do that kind of thing.
Do they do that?
I mean, they all dress up like middle management.
But this is very specific and it would be, wow, what's Brother Mark got on his post-it today?
Yeah.
You know, or for this interview or this concert, that would be good.
Right.
A bit like chap from Coldplay writing on his hand and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Make trade free and all that stuff.
A bit like that, but it would change and be weirder.
Yeah.
I think that's a very good idea.
Keep them coming in.
Text 64046, please.
But right now, ladies and gentlemen, this was a band that was featured in that BBC Four sexuality documentary, Sexuality and Pop.
And he just hasn't aged this guy.
Bronsky Beat, I'm talking about the lead singer.
What was his name again?
Jimmy Somerville.
Yeah, yeah, he is not aged.
He don't have no hair though, do he?
No.
And having no hair is really good for looking young.
Yeah, like Joe Jackson as well.
Yeah.
He's got a similar sort of baldy scalp.
Being bald, it takes years off you.
That's right.
Yeah.
If you're receding, take it all off.
Yeah.
And you'll be like a little space baby.
Well, he looks fantastic.
And here he is in good voice with Small Town Boy.
Has Bronsky beat with Small Town Boy?
Was that even their first hit?
Uh, I think it possibly may have been, yes.
A very important record.
Well, yeah, he was the sort of, pretty much one of the first openly gay pop stars, you know what I mean?
He wasn't sort of pussyfooting around the whole notion and, uh, you know, there's a lot of pop stars where you're pretty sure they're gay and there's a lot of stuff implied in their songs, but he was, uh, addressing all lots of gay issues completely head-on.
And that was quite a depressing track, I remember.
It was
You know, it spoke to, it spoke to, uh, not just gay people, but yeah, mournful.
It spoke to the feelings of isolation you get as a teenager anyway, you know what I mean?
It particularly spoke to people about how boring it was, uh, travelling through the suburbs on trains.
Yeah, he was looking out the window, wasn't he?
Yeah.
And, and it was a sort of depressing image.
And then he got shunned by the guy in the, in the, uh, changing room there.
Yeah, it's altogether very depressing.
This is BBC 6 music, always keen to bring you down on a Saturday morning.
Did you know, did you read this thing about Joss Stone doing the flake advert?
No.
She is the new face of Cadbury's flake.
Really?
Yeah.
Which is, on what level do you think they've employed her?
Nutty woman.
You would think that...
That would be the thing, wouldn't it?
Coochie, nutty woman.
Literally.
You know, I think she'd be better suited to advertise a product that actually has nuts in it.
Because then you could really capitalise on the fact that she is nutty.
Which we should say that kind of the, I don't know whether it's true, but the myth was always that the woman who was in the flake advert, the old flake advert in the bath, had a terrible, nervous breakdown.
Nervy B. Really?
And ended up being nutty.
There were many flake women there, weren't there, many flakes?
Yeah, but the one in the bath.
They're all flaky.
Shoving it in her gob.
Because I wouldn't characterize Joss Stone as being flaky so much as nutty.
Do you know what I mean?
Eccentric, kooky, crazy, free-spirited.
I do think she'd be better for Snickers.
Doesn't wear shoes.
Because what kind of advert would she be doing for flake?
I wonder, would she be doing the whole sexy fellatio thing with it?
Probably.
In which case, is that good?
Uh, I don't know.
Fancy a bit of stone?
Look, there she is, there's a slice of stone.
Well, I'm very keen on the man who produces her music, a musician called Raphael Sadiq, who's a brilliant kind of soul musician, but then he went and, I think, had an affair with her.
Oh, did he?
Well, there were rumours and also produced her last album that was a bit of a kind of a flop-o.
She's absolutely... She's furious in this article from The Independent on Sunday.
She's absolutely furious about the fact that she was vilified for turning up at the Brits and having an American accent.
That's right.
You know, she said, well, what do you want?
My accent changes.
You know, I made my album with a bunch of Americans.
When people go to Australia for two weeks, they come back sounding Australian.
That's a bit rich, isn't it?
I mean, you know, just because maybe people, they sort of do the accent thing at the end.
You know, they kind of talk a bit like that.
It goes up at the end a little bit.
That's nothing to be proud of.
Everybody talks like that now.
Anyway, she's upset about it.
And she's saying, people have just said, well, F you in England.
And you know, you know what, we just decided we don't like you anymore.
It's so unfair.
And so she thinks that if she advertises flake,
That's gonna bring it round for her.
Yeah, maybe you know and she thinks it's a blow for warm for women as well She's saying come on girls.
You know you want a bit of chocolate.
It's tastes good It makes you feel good and then she says at the end obviously don't be a fat BS because then you'll Then you'll be more depressed a fat BS a bestowed.
Okay, that's not a BS.
Is it?
No, I don't know
Anyway, it's confusing times.
Just don't use.
Just own them for flake eaters.
Best avoid them both, I'd say.
Absolutely.
Now, here's a track that I picked for you, listeners.
This is from Richard Hell and the Voidoids, and this is from their album, which I think is just called Richard Hell and the Voidoids, maybe, and it's called I'm Your Man.
Yeah.
That was a certain track there.
Simeon playing L.A.
Breeze.
Uh, recorded for 6 Music on the 17th of June, 2003.
That seems- I can't even believe that 6 Music was going in 2003.
It seems such a long time.
Wowza.
Do you know what I mean?
I know what you mean.
Movie news?
Oh yeah?
Can I give you some movie news?
I love movie news.
Now, uh, do you remember a film called The Blair Witch Project?
Uh, remind me?
It was a kind of, uh...
Spooky film about a group of annoying kids that went into the woods in America to look for an ancient house where a witch lived.
It was all handheld.
That was the beginning of it.
You do remember the play, of course I do.
It was real.
It was all real.
It was real.
I loved that film.
It was a film that divided people.
It depended on the circumstances under which you saw it.
I was given it months, months, years even, before release, because it went around quite a lot.
You were given it before it was made.
uh yeah that's true yeah you made it yeah on on a vhs cassette basically a friend of mine gave me a pirate on a vhs cassette before i'd heard anything about it i thought it was real did you really you told i remember you told me at the time yeah this is you're gonna blow your mind it seems absolutely real
I just couldn't believe what you were on about.
Well, they do.
It divides people films like that.
You either buy it or you kind of don't.
If you don't, it's a hideous nightmare.
Anyway, the point of that is that when Blair Witch came out, everybody thought, wow, all movies are going to be like this now.
That's right.
Because I think it's the highest-grossing film of all time in terms of the amount it costs compared to the amount it made.
Right.
The amount of profit.
It remains, I think, the highest-grossing film of all time.
Really?
So the most profitable film.
The most profitable film, yeah.
Er... Everyone thought it was gonna, like, change the film industry.
It was gonna... Have they throw out the rules?
There'd be no more tripods or set-ups or crews.
You know, anybody could make a film with a camcorder.
Er, it wasn't true.
Nothing happened.
When was Blair Witch?
Ninety-seven?
Ninety-eight?
That sort of period.
So a good 10 years later, another film's come along that uses the same technique.
Have you heard about it?
It's called Cloverfield.
All the internet geeks and web nerds are going crazy about it.
They have been all summer.
because there was a very kind of mysterious trailer attached to the beginning of Transformers.
This is a movie that's basically like a Godzilla film, only it's shown from the point of view of a guy with a camcorder, a kind of yuppie, who's having a party for a friend called Rob, because Rob's leaving for Japan, and he's getting everyone to give messages for Rob on the camcorder.
and Rob's just broken up with Beth.
Beth, he's known Beth since he was a kid and he just slept with her for the first time and now she's furious.
They've broken up and they're having a party and we've got the tape of the party and then suddenly a massive earthquake.
Is it an earthquake?
Is it a terrorist attack?
No, it's a big monster!
And it's squashing all Manhattan and marching through the city and stuff, and Rob's friend HUD, he's got the video camera, he runs out into the street, and the st- I'm not giving anything away, this is all in the trailer.
You've seen the film, right?
Yeah.
The Statue of Liberty's head comes bouncing down the street like a bouncy ball.
Yeah.
What's going on?
And they have to save Beth because she's trapped in an apartment with a bit of metal through one of her boobs.
It's a frightful business.
No one likes that.
Nobody likes that.
Anyway, everyone is exciting.
I went to see it at the cinema.
I don't want to give too much away.
So it's kind of a blockbuster on a macro level.
It's a macro buster.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Which is quite an interesting idea.
It's like the remake of Godzilla that everybody hated but was secretly
You loved it.
As if it was, as if someone was just covering it from ground level.
Right.
With a camcorder.
It's made lots of money in America.
And is it satisfying?
Is it a good watch?
No.
Why would it be?
Again, it's gonna divide people.
Loads of people love it.
Here's what I imagine the problem with that would be, right?
At some point you're gonna be reliant on shots that are absolutely obviously CG Correct and with just a little filter over the top to make it look like video and that kind of thing is just rubbish Well, this is where it kind of for me went wrong And again, it's not out in this country as I don't want to make a mess of your expectations But you know, it's a good thing to lower your expectations
for anything, because you can only be pleasantly surprised.
But especially people like Adam and I, we used to make telly and still work a lot with camcorders.
So we know what the reality is.
And most people now know what the reality is of a camcorder tape.
Yeah, looking through a viewfinder.
They don't.
First of all, it's the highest quality camcorder I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Better than HD.
Must be higher than 1080p.
Right.
Secondly, all sorts of things don't make sense.
For instance, at one stage, one of the characters' brother is killed by the monster.
He calls his mum to tell her.
His mate films it.
Oh, there's Rob telling his mum that his brother's dead.
Capture that.
Watch that, you know, in the future.
That'll be nice.
uh and then they all at one stage the whole monster thing gets too much for them so rob just goes into a quiet corner on the subway and sobs on a bench uh hud films that as well as rob sobbing about the monster i'll just frame him to the extreme right with the frame so it's not absolutely obvious that i'm telling you because i wouldn't want to make him self-conscious yeah at the very end
I can't really tell you about the very end.
No, don't make people upset.
Because it's too bad.
But it really didn't work for me.
It never works that kind of thing because it's very hard to get... Well, don't get me wrong.
Millions love it.
People love that they're going crazy about this film.
People were coming out of the cinema.
Do you ever get that?
You're coming out of something, you're in a crowd.
Yes.
You really weren't impressed by it.
And people around you were just going, oh, it's incredible.
It's amazing.
I was absolutely mind blowing.
I nearly wet myself.
Yeah, I'm getting that with Battlestar Galactica at the moment.
Really?
People, a lot of my friends just say it's the best thing ever made.
And especially as I was a big fan of The Wire, and there was a big void left in my life when I watched all the available episodes of The Wire, went on to Battlestar Galactica.
I don't like it on Battlestar Galactica.
It's fracking rubbish.
Fracking rubbish?
Yeah.
And, uh, they have a whole episode where, like, a member of the media comes on the ship and does a whole sort of expose of what it's like on the Battlestar.
And she, her crew just films all these arguments and terrible things that are going on in a way that would, of course, never happen.
Camcorder style.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you know, there's two other camcorder films, very quickly, that I'll flag up, that I think are gonna be better than Cloverfield.
There's a Spanish one called Rec.
Which is, uh, I'm not quite sure what it's about.
I think it's a zombie thing, but that's supposed to be brilliant.
And there's an American one called Paranormal Activity about a couple whose house is haunted, and they set up camcorders to record the ghost at night.
Oh, that sounds good.
Uh, the trailer for that looks really scary.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway.
That's movie news, now it's time for Rufus Wainwright.
Rufus Wainwright with The One You Love, this is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music, here with the slightly late news, and Nicki Cardwell and Adrian Larkin.
Who wants to be writer's reign?
That's what Adele is saying there.
Is it not a problem that Adele sounds so similar to Amy Winehouse?
I thought that was Amy Winehouse.
No, I mean, she's got almost exactly the same little vocal inflections there and everything.
Well, I guess they're just lining her up in case something goes wrong with Winehouse.
It's good to have a plan B, a full back position.
Good to have a little spare.
Now, I'm sorry about this folks, but it's time to deal with song wars again.
Let's start with my song, which I fear is going to be the losing song this week, considering I wouldn't even vote for it.
Oh, I thought, you know, man, you've got funny lyrics there.
No, I'd vote for your song.
Let's get my one out of the way.
This is called, it hasn't even got a name, it's just a song about illegal downloading.
Here we go.
Imagine staying without a house, living on the street.
Imagine if Led Zeppelin could not afford to eat.
Imagine if the rolling stones had to gnaw on filthy bones That's what might happen if you all keep illegal downloading The foundations of rock'n'roll will slowly be eroded
You might get tunes for free, but you'll destroy the industry The cops might come looking at your door You need to search this to the floor Imagine Kate Nash penniless Maybe one house of useless mess Kylie Minogue without a dress Radiohead even more depressed Okay, so those things sound quite cool I have a willingness
Uh, listeners, can you hear me?
Adam's actually gone to the loo.
I've got such little faith in my song.
He's not in the studio at the moment.
This is Joe speaking.
I'm just gonna fade my song out.
And I think, I think you should all vote for Adam's song because otherwise he's gonna have a nervous break.
Sorry, mate.
Sorry.
Hello.
What were you saying?
Nothing.
Anyway, that's my song.
Are you doing propaganda?
No, no.
No, I was in the lobby.
No, no, no, no.
Sorry, I have said it.
Introduce your song.
He was, wasn't he?
He's doing propaganda.
That's not necessary to do propaganda.
How many have you won?
Fifteen or something?
I've won one.
Three percent of the vote I got last week.
Four votes in total or whatever it was.
Yeah.
Anyway, listeners, here's Adam's piracy song right now.
Check it out.
I want to have a look at that film today But I don't think I'm gonna pay Cause I'm fine, and I still I don't care, I don't fail I don't say anything, you're gone And I put it in my pocket, yeah I still film, I still books I still books, I still looks I still kiss, well I don't steal kids by my age
That's the mind of a pirate.
Did you hear the hate and greed?
And our beloved entertainment biz is where the dirty pirates feed.
And I don't mean terrorists and their golden compass knock-offs.
I mean you and your downloads.
Oh, I ought to knock your block-offs.
How do you think this stuff gets made if you think artists create it?
They don't get paid, it's the only reason they do what they do It's not the flippin' work, most of that's poo They depend on the money that you idiots give So they can make more crap, and so they can live the good life Yes, the life of the stars But you're taking their pools and you're taking their cars, you bastards!
Ha ha ha!
You better believe it, pal!
Cause we're evil, we're stunt, stick along!
Then we're gonna have a party And we're gonna play some music And nobody at the party's gonna play Yes the world is changing I don't like it But that's the way it is So we've hooked up some statistics That will show you how you're ruining All the finely tuned mechanics of the end
computer represents a physical purchase you would have made, possibly.
And even if you're buying other stuff that don't make up for all the phantom profit that you've slayed.
I don't care, because I'm mental, I'm evil, and I deserve to be locked up.
Because I'm a horse, and I smell, and I want to go to
I might have to go and buy it anyway
Always with me, ironic.
Yeah.
There we go, that song was for this week.
The first song that you heard was Joe's song.
If you want to vote for that one, text Joe to 64046, or email Joe to AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
And if you want to vote for the second one, that was Adam's.
The one you just heard, do the same, but send Adam to those numbers or addresses.
If you're listening again, of course, the text won't work, so do send an email.
And thank you very much.
We don't have a note of who suggested that theme, do we?
But it was suggested by someone.
You know who you are.
Yeah, so thanks a lot, man.
Thanks.
We didn't exactly put both sides of the argument in our songs.
No, it wasn't clearly overall.
But we really tried there.
And that might be the last song wars for a while.
Hey, that's not foregone conclusion.
Is it not?
No, I guess we'll rest it for a week.
Song was sabbatical.
Song was sabbatical for a week.
Because we've got to play the winning one next week anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
And we'll find something exciting to replace it with temporarily.
uh now here's a free play uh from me this is a guy called dr octagon aka cool keith uh this is a brilliant confusing song if you can make any sense of these lyrics you're a better man than me but uh i don't mind this is called um get off my elevator
There we go.
Cool Keith, a.k.a.
Dr. Octagon with Get Off My Elevator.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six.
What's the difference between his personas then?
Is Dr. Octagon... I don't know.
Was Dr. Octagon absolutely filthy?
Yeah, he was occasionally very filthy.
Yeah.
It's a fantastic record by Dr. Octagon that I can't even mention anything about because it's so filthy.
He's absolutely filthy.
Yeah, but it involves the lady's hair.
things going into it that shouldn't yeah in a phone box right yeah that's from sort of the end of the 90s isn't it that uh yeah that that one get off my elevator yeah but he's had stuff out recently as he yeah he's quite patchy so do to preview before you purchase is he like a patchy indian he is very like a patchy indian why doesn't the patchy indian do some new stuff i don't know
That's one of my favourite songs in the world.
I might play that next week.
It's a good song.
Right and go up, right and go down.
Now listen, one or two people have been talking about how it's quite difficult to tell our voices apart.
That's true.
Our usual producer, Jude, tried to pan us.
One on the left and one on the right.
I think I'm on the left and you're on the right.
Something like that.
Yeah.
But here's an email from Claire Laybreak.
Um, who is a student?
Hi Adam and Jo, I was surprised to hear that some listeners can't tell you apart on the radio.
I think your voices are quite distinctive.
Thought I might help out with some handy spot- with a handy spotters or listeners guide to Adam and Jo.
Okay, you ready?
One, Adam has a deeper, usually quite cheery voice.
Jo's voice is lighter, but with just the occasional slight hint of sarcasm and a teeny bit of cynicism.
Two, Adam seems to like torturing his vocal chords to see what weird voice he can get out.
If you hear a funny voice, it's probably Adam.
Joe doesn't do as many funny voices, but if you hear a West Country accent or a snorting, thanks a lot, Al Gore, it's probably Joe.
Three, Adam can swing from cheery to enraged in one conversation.
Joe keeps a steady voice throughout, although he can sound bored, and he seems to delight in baiting Adam into a fit of rage.
Four, Adam usually loses song wars.
Joe usually wins song wars.
Five, Adam can occasionally get sidetracked from the point he's trying to make.
To be fair, he's usually sidetracked by Joe.
Joe likes making lists to make sure he gets all his points across, usually he'll get the numbering wrong.
Eight, we then go from five to eight.
If someone is talking about movies, oh, I see, that's, you know, yeah, especially 3D movies, it's probably Joe.
If they're talking about Radiohead David Bowie or playing music, it's probably Adam.
If they're telling an anecdote with a healthy dose of name dropping, that'll be Joe.
If they're telling an anecdote that gets them enraged and spluttering, that'll be Adam.
And finally, here's the last one, if they remind you of a favourite uncle who gives you gifts when they visit and tells stories doing all the weird voices, it's Adam.
If they remind you of a cool, older cousin who you desperately want to be liked by, but who tuts and rolls his eyes at you, it's Joe.
There you go.
That's pretty thorough, isn't it?
Yeah, that's very thorough, that's scary.
Just put a lot of thought into that.
Yeah, we've been profiled.
Maybe she works for the police.
Yeah, or the government.
Hey, we work for the government.
We do.
We are the government.
We are the government.
We're in the big British castle.
Claire, you're under arrest.
We're gonna put you in the dungeon for just being cheeky.
For unauthorised profiling.
Having lovely cheeks.
Now, here's some more music just before we say goodbye to you folks.
This is The Beloved with Hello.
Brian Hayes.
He's like an old LBC DJ.
Brian Hayes is still very much in action, yeah.
Wow, that's like a song or a song.
I know, that's good.
It'd be great to be immortalized in a song like that, wouldn't it?
Just... Ah, I'd love a little bit of name checking.
Yeah.
It'll never happen, will it?
Well, that's pretty much it for us this week.
Thank you so much for listening and for texting us and getting in touch with us.
Thanks for all your texts and emails, especially the long involved emails.
We particularly love those and keep them coming in.
They all get readied.
We'll be back next week.
Don't forget the podcast available from the BBC website right now.
Here's Mark Ronson.
Bye.