That's don't you love her madly?
Or just love her madly by the doors?
And the lovely sound of Jim Morrison there at just five past seven in the morning.
Hi, this is Adam.
Hey, this is Joe.
And we are Adam and Joe, collectively.
We're like a kind of doctor team.
That's right.
We come and we help people with their problems.
Yeah.
Which bits of the doctoring do you do, Adam?
I generally stand by next to you while you're working and I shake my head and I go, mm, doesn't look good.
Yeah, I do all the undressing and touching.
We've both been struck off a number of times.
I ask you to cough.
and then touch you in various places and see what the response is.
Joe does most of the cupping.
We've got a great show coming up for you.
We're going to be talking to my father, Nigel Buxton, aka Bad Dad.
Some of you out there may remember him from the show we used to do on Channel 4, and he's going to be ranting at us a bit later on.
But that specifically tied in with this morning's Text the Nation, which has grown from a tiny seed
on Monday into one of the strongest trees in the BBC conceptual forest.
Right?
Well said, yeah.
Absolutely.
In the ideas would.
And we've even amended the jingle.
If you were listening yesterday, we unveiled a jingle for Text the Nation.
Today, it's been slightly amended.
Yeah, it's a ningle.
an angle a new jingle it's very early come on that's the best i can do i think it's probably time we played some music and yeah let's have some pigeon detectives this is called take her back yeah that's good isn't it take her back by the pigeon detectives this is salam and joe here on six music from the bbc the big british the bbc the bastion of british
content yeah yes there's a list of all the contents of Britain here within the walls of the BBC hey I've just been reading some emails we've had overnight don't forget you can email us at Adam and Jo is it at six music now
Adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk.
We do love getting your emails and you can text us on 64046.
Yeah.
You can text at any point during the show.
You don't have to wait for our major sort of event happening, text happening thing.
You can text or email us at any time.
Text the Nation feature, that's what you were reaching for, which is incidentally coming up at around 8.30 today, so stay tuned.
Is that the best time for it?
At what time, Lisa, our producer, does listening peak for this show?
I'd imagine a lot of people leave for work at about 8.30.
Was that good?
Did they get in their cars?
It's summer holidays at the minute, isn't it?
It is summer holidays.
Summer?
What happens to the summer?
Yeah, exactly.
But do you know what?
Actually, most of Britain is beautiful today.
Is it?
Apart from the South East, yeah.
There's just a big cloud hanging over London to punish it for being a contemporary Sodom and Gomorrah.
Exactly, for being a giant sewer.
But I did check the 15 day weather forecast.
Did you?
Yes, today.
I didn't know they could do it.
Do it that far in advance.
You can do it a hundred days in advance.
Can you really?
It's entirely inaccurate.
It's speculative.
It's mainly wishful.
Yeah.
Although sometimes the 15 day forecast is not bad.
And the one I checked yesterday.
What did it say?
It said yes, Joe.
That today's this morning's bad cloud weather will give way to bouts of happy sunshine.
Oh, happy sunshine.
Sometimes obstructed by cloud, but mainly happy.
It's gonna be nice in London for the weekend, anyway.
Not that anybody else listening who's not in London cares.
But it's gonna be nice for the carnival.
The London Carnival of Violence.
That will happen this weekend.
Stabfest, they call it.
I'm pretty sure they don't call it Stabfest.
They don't call it that, I do.
And then it's gonna get even better the week after that, Pat.
Is it really?
According to my wishful 15 day forecast.
So this is like a sort of trough, but it's gonna peak.
Absolutely, yeah.
We're through the worst.
We're kind of saving up for amazing weather.
Yeah.
sleeper what do you what are your memories of the band sleeper and and there was a lady what sung for them Louise Wenner she was around the place when they were around the place she used to turn up on TFI Friday the whole time that's right people would cheer their socks off well she was she was a bright and intelligent young woman she's a novelist now right she wrote a novel she's written Severn several novels Severn Severn that oh man still very early this is called what do I do now
You're shuffling your papers very loudly.
I want to read the news.
You shuffled all over the end of the sleeper train.
Did I?
I might have proved it.
You were shuffling around and shuffling and there was paper shuffling.
Hey, what's that?
Buster P's like we used to say.
That's a bed.
That's too good to be a bed.
That is quite a good thing.
Listeners, don't you think?
We just want to hear that.
We don't want it as a bed.
Anyway, we'll have it as a bed.
That's a Papa Don't Take No Mess by James Brown.
So listen, yesterday we were talking about computer startup sounds.
And we were kind of proposing that Brian Eno wrote the Macintosh computer startup sound.
Well Peter McMullen has texted us and he says that Eno actually created the Windows startup sound.
Now Adam and I don't really know what the Windows startup sound is because we don't really have Windows.
But he also says, rumor has it that Eno created it on the Mac though.
But it's kind of not, you know, it's only a rumor.
It's not officially known.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was it aggressive, the email?
Uh, no.
There are some drawings of us being, you know, attacked.
Ugly institutions.
No, there aren't.
It's a very, very nice, uh, succinct, uh, email.
Well, that's good.
That makes a change.
Usually it's like, you idiots.
What's the Windows startup sound, though?
It can't be better than the Mac one, can it?
The Windows startup sound is...
That's very insulting to all Windows users.
That's the sound you might remember from the playground.
From the playground.
And from Channel 4 on a Friday night nowadays.
Yes.
Which I haven't watched.
When was the last time you watched Channel 4?
Is that how they pitch programs for late night Channel 4?
Pretty much, yeah, they go... Got a new idea.
And it's got Justin Lee.
Brilliant.
Let's have 12.
That was quite bitter, wasn't it?
That was.
That was slightly bitter.
It was slightly bitter satire.
Yeah.
Bit higher.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I thought I should clear up that whole startup sound thing.
Maybe someone could tell us, maybe someone could describe to us verbally what the Windows startup sound is.
I like verbal descriptions of abstract sounds, don't you?
Yes, absolutely.
Or if you're in a position to... I don't know where I've ever come across one before.
Just lay it to us down the phone, that would be good as well.
Yeah.
What would be the number that they would call?
They text you first.
There's a procedure.
Here at the British Broadcasting Castle, you can't just phone in.
You have to be vetted.
Absolutely.
Take several years.
MI6 are involved.
Yeah, that's right.
Jason Bourne is involved.
Okay, more music right now.
This is Dinosaur Jr.
with Crumble.
the language of football give us some more examples of the language of football kick sport goal boo oi ref shot it oi uh half time orange shirts off lads bath
Oi!
Fight!
Now do some commentating for an imaginary football match.
Where the ball is being passed there from Roger to Roger to Rodgelson.
Ooooh love it!
Ooooh dear ahh!
Ooooh passed up the pitch.
Ooooh dear ahh!
And Rodgelson's come in with a lovely move across the grass and he's moving there towards the area.
If I can put in Tony, he is attempting to get the ball in the goal.
That is his aim and he's kicking it to other players in order to achieve that.
Look at that.
ball.
Look at it, it's so round, it's glistening, little bits of grass on it, lovely powering across the pitch.
The ball's slowed down now, and someone else has moved towards the ball.
Anyway.
As you might gather, we don't really understand football, Adam O'Reilly.
It's a bit like, um, to me as if, you know, you could play a game from the 1930s and I wouldn't know, the only difference basically would be the shorts.
No, a game of football.
Oh, I see.
Those clips in that trail, they could have been from any game in the last 400 years, as far as I'm concerned.
When you said a game in the 1930s, I immediately thought of Hoopstick because, you know, it's a fun one.
Yeah, anyway, hello, we're Adam and Joe, this is the BBC Six Music Breakfast Show.
We've been given the privilege of being able to raid the archives here at Six Music.
Yeah, most particularly the Peel Sessions, and I have alighted upon this track.
This was from 2001, and it's the Mighty Strokes, the sexy strokes.
Who's your favourite stroke joke?
Oh, the one what goes out with that bird off of the films.
Yeah.
Uh, is that Nick Valenti?
Probably.
Fab Moretti?
I don't know!
Uh, he used to go out with Drew Barrymore.
They split up now, haven't they?
Didn't one of them go out with Scarlett Johansson?
At some stage, I would imagine all of them did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They are monied New York boys.
They're sexy, thin-troused men, and this is a track from their appeal session called Someday.
Oh, that's very good, isn't it?
That's the strokes with Someday.
It's weird, though, with those session tracks, because, I mean, that was almost identical to the album version of that.
apart from his vocal weirdly.
Yeah, exactly.
He didn't have that, uh, his sort of megaphone distortion.
Right.
It sounded as if he was, uh, he just smoked a few too many Sigils before arriving at the studio there.
And he was reaching a little bit, but, um, it's, it's, it's a strange thrill that a music fan gets from hearing a version of his favorite track.
That's almost exactly the same, but slightly different.
That's all you need sometimes, though, isn't it?
Yeah, I got that with the Prefab Sprout track we played yesterday.
Well, you know, that was a good example of a track that was significantly different, though.
There was some extra instrumentation on there.
There was a guitar line kind of following the vocal line, yeah.
We almost sounded like real music nerds there.
Really?
Well, it's two bands we know a bit about.
That's right.
It's unusual.
I've got a hello to say, yeah.
Is he allowed to do that at the big British castle?
It's a hello to a mega comedy celebrity.
Really?
Yeah, Peter Serafinowicz.
No.
A co-creator of Look Around You, star of many great
TV and film things Shawn of the Dead and Stuff stuff.
Oh, man.
It's I should have written down all the men.
He's one of my favorite.
What are you gonna say?
He's gonna say hello to him.
Anyway, yeah He's working on a new show for the BBC.
In fact, I think his own show for BBC two.
I saw the pilot.
That's right.
It's good It's very funny the Peter Sarafinowicz show and he is getting made up right now.
Is he in a trailer?
I bet that takes a while.
It takes a long time now
Yeah.
So hi Peter, thanks for listening.
Right now, here is the news.
Booooop.
Editors.
That's the correct way to pronounce the name of that band.
Now, I was watching them on telly the other day on one of the festival coverage programs.
Oh yeah.
And the editors were playing away.
Not the editors!
Sorry, oh no!
You others.
Sorry, I was talking about the different band.
I was talking about a different band.
I was talking about a different band called the editors.
Oh right.
But what I meant to say was editors were playing along all dressed in grey.
with their grey backing and their neat haircuts and it cut to the wings and there was Edith Bowman.
She goes out with Mr Editor.
There we go!
She was like bopping her head, she knew all the words and I thought she's a big editor's fan.
She's the biggest.
And then Adam Buxton told me that she's snogging one of them.
Can get bigger than that as a fan.
Really?
No, you can't.
I mean, that's the dream of all the fans.
Is it?
Yeah.
It's like Mrs. Newman.
You know, Gary Newman's wife?
That's right.
She was... Gary was her number two... She had a list.
We know this because, again, we filmed with Gary Newman a while ago and we went and filmed a thing at his house and she told us all about this.
She had a list.
Gary Newman's wife had a list of stars that she wanted to marry.
And was Bowie number one?
I think Bowie was the number one star.
And who was number two?
Numenoid.
Numenoid was number two.
So she shot for Bowie.
Didn't get him.
Didn't get Bowie, but she got Gazza.
And they're a lovely couple.
They were lovely.
Still very much in love, still very happily married.
Saw them in Hello the other day in their castle.
Really?
Their strange Gothic castle.
Are they still living there?
I thought that was...
I think they, I think they, well they're living somewhere that looks very similar.
Really?
Still has fluffy handcuffs hanging on the ceiling.
What would happen if Bowie made a pass at her?
At her?
Yeah.
You reckon, if they were at some festival or other?
Do you think, you know there's that thing that some couples have?
They have a special sort of get out clause.
Yeah.
If a famous person, you know, they say, well look, I'm faithful to you for all my life.
That's right.
But if George Clooney ever winks at me.
You're allowed.
I'm allowed.
There's a good episode of Entourage where that happens.
Really?
Yeah.
Um, and the, the guy's wife is allowed to sleep with the main bloke, Vincent Chase, and it happens.
She bumps into him in a shoe shop.
But, um, yeah, what would, who would you want to be?
Who would your get out clause lady be?
I got to think about that.
Should we play some music and I'll think about it.
Because that's a big question, man.
It is a big question.
You can't just bring that on a guy.
I'm thinking Nastasia Kinski.
Sucker 1984.
Thanks very much.
So mine involves time travel.
That's possible theoretically.
This is Iron and Wine with Boy with a Coin.
The mighty Harry here.
I'm so excited about that.
We're hyping it, aren't we?
Absolutely.
Well, we can listen to that on Monday after we finish the show.
Yeah, that'll be good.
It's like the release of Batman, the first Batman film.
He's a genius, Harry.
Oh.
He's good, man.
And you know who else is a genius?
It's Al Murray.
He was on a show I did the other day.
You're not a genius.
Come on, yes I am.
By no means.
Come on.
In what way are you a genius?
I've got all kinds of ideas.
What's your best idea?
I can't tell you they're too hot.
Come on.
They're too hot to say.
Give us one idea.
No.
Come on!
I can't, they're too good!
Write one down for later, okay?
Alright, alright.
One idea that proves you're a genius.
Shoes.
With words on the soles.
Not that one, I guess.
And you dress in puddles, and you print the words.
Anyway, we were talking about who would your celebrity person that you're allowed to sleep with be?
Yours would be Al Murray.
Maybe it would be Al Murray.
I really do think he's great, Al Murray.
I've forgotten.
He's one of those people that's so big and successful in a way, but he's got a big hardcore of fans.
But he's not taken that seriously.
I get the impression as a cutting-edge comedian and stuff.
Maybe that's just my misconception, but he's brilliant, like, he's amazing.
He's the quickest on his feet I've ever seen.
Anyway, I might sleep with him, but if I had to sleep with a woman, it would be Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, listeners might know her as the lady in the abyss, James Cameron's the abyss.
Has she been in anything since that?
Since she was in the abyss?
Yeah, nothing quite so big, I don't suppose.
She was in a film called Consenting Adults as well.
Do you remember that one?
That sounded crazy.
There was a lot of wife-swapery going on in there and I was delighted.
But yeah, she was in the abyss.
What an amazing scene in the abyss where she has to drown in order to be swum out by Ed Harcourt.
What's his name?
Harris.
Ed Harris.
Ed Harcourt would never make it.
Ed Harris has to swim her out.
He's got the breathing gear and he's the best swimmer so she has to drown and drag her to safety and then revive her.
Horrible business.
Oh man, it's the most amazing scene in movies for me, one of them anyway.
And I always kind of envy her because he gets to snog Master Antonio and revive her and she's eternally indebted.
Really?
That's one of your sort of fantasies, is it?
Yeah.
A nearly dead woman spewing water into your face.
How very sensuous.
That is as sexy as it gets for me.
Listen, it's archive session track time.
I'm excited about hearing the woman again close her big sexy door and say my name in an exciting fashion.
I chose some stuff from Everything But The Girl because I used to be a big fan of Everything But The Girl.
Am I still not entirely but in the in when I was a little kid I used to love them So I had a look in the sessions and I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you listeners I don't really know this track very well right that I've chosen
Is that too honest?
No, that's good enough.
We skimmed through it.
And this was the one that really grabbed our experience.
Yeah, but it's from the period when I used to love them.
It's called Ballad of the Times.
This is Everything But the Girl from 1985 from the Peel Sessions.
Check this out.
There we go.
Everything But the Girl there.
That was a rather a lovely tune called Ballad of the Times.
That's absolutely... oops.
That is my problem.
Sometimes I launch into speaking and it just, it doesn't happen.
Give it another go.
Just doesn't happen.
That was absolutely lovely, I thought.
Yeah.
And we were just talking about the fact that Tracy Thorne, the lead singer of Everything But The Girl released a solo album earlier this year.
Yeah, I was worrying there that in the small chance that either Ben Watt or Tracy were listening, that would be a, that what I said about them would have been a kind of a spinal tap moment.
Do you remember that moment in spinal tap?
Yeah.
when they hear their records.
Every time you thought they might have been sort of fading a bit, they've come back stronger than ever.
Yeah?
Why are you laughing?
Because I've made it sound downbeat again, haven't I?
Now it's good enough to say that they're a great band.
Yeah, they're a great band.
Well done.
Well done.
Um, now what were we just talking about?
Oh yeah, songs to wake up to we were talking about.
Yeah, yesterday, uh, we were talking about what the best alarm clock sound was, and we had a bit of an alarm clock war.
Uh, I came up with the most violently aggressive one.
Adam had a lovely and soothing one.
But we got an email from a guy called Nick.
He doesn't give us any more information than that.
It's just Nick.
Uh, he is talking about the fact that he wakes up to a song.
I guess he must program his clock radio or whatever, or his CD player or MP3 player.
Maybe his personal computer.
Yes!
To wake him up to a song.
And the song he chooses is Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses.
Oh man.
And here's Nick's description of what happens when he wakes up.
It starts with a kind of grating slash guitar noise, but it holds within it warm 80s memories, which, in a dazed awakening state, make you think this song rocks, but what is it?
Even though you woke up to it every day for the last three weeks.
The grating builds, but you've got only about 10 seconds before the howling starts.
If you're not quick enough, you've reached level two.
Normally you're up by now and you've turned the howling off, but if you haven't, you know it must be the weekend and you can either progress to level three, the screechy axle singing, with your head buried under the pillow, or you can shout along while you make a brew and wake the rest of the house up.
So there you go, he's broken down.
Welcome to the jungle into kind of stages of awakening.
Well, it's good to have a nice long intro for a track there, if you're waking up to it.
Something like, you know, The Stone Roses I Wanna Be Adored, which starts off with a sort of wash of ambient noise and weird sounds like clangs and factory sounds or something, and then gradually the guitars come in, and then the bass, it's very slow, it all takes about over a minute.
That particular song might soothe me back to sleep, though.
It's a bit too trippy.
Yeah, but it gets...
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I'd have a sort of acid flashback.
Yeah.
Not that I've got anything to flashback to.
And I fall back to sleep.
But can you suggest, listeners, the perfect song to wake up to?
Wake Up Boo by the Boo Radleys.
Not that one.
That's the one you're not allowed to suggest.
What about Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Way?
No.
Uh, it's got to be Perfect by Fairground Attraction.
No.
You're not allowed any of those.
Anything by Sixpence, None the Richer.
text your suggestions to 64046 or if you don't have a mobile phone you can email adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk I wonder how this one by the charlatans would work this is love is the key love is the key you see by the charlatans that's true you know
You know, it is true.
It is.
And it can be used as a key replacement as well if you ever... Really?
If you're locked out?
If you're locked out... What do you do?
You just love the door?
You have to love the door, but you have to love it to such an extent and a lot.
And it's a very difficult thing to do because... Is it really?
When you get locked out, your natural impulse is toward fury... Yeah, towards hate.
And frustration and mild depression.
And it's very hard to get to a place, it's very hard to get to a place where you really love.
Where you love the door a lot.
You're just talking, you're not talking about making love to the door.
Yeah.
Are you?
That's what I'm saying.
Wow.
There's a lot of difficult things about it.
Well, there we go.
There's some useful locksmith information courtesy of the charlatans.
Yeah.
OK, we were asking you what the best song to wake up to would be.
And literally, we're talking about like an alarm clock song, a song that would play in your ears just as you reach consciousness in the morning.
And we've been inundated with suggestions.
Go on then, Joe.
When I say inundated, I mean six.
We've got three.
Yeah.
But you can continue texting to 64046.
Here's one.
OK, you ready?
Yeah, go on then.
Are you ready, though?
To get closer?
Yeah.
This is anonymous.
Please try and put your names on your texts when you text in, because it's nice to put a name to the words.
What's the matter?
A little bit passable.
A little bit catchy.
A little bit aggressive.
OK, this comes from an anonymous person.
I wake up to Sex Machine by James Brown.
Think about it.
He spends the whole song shouting, get up.
And like a sex machine, no less.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get on up.
That's true.
And that's a good choice.
Not too aggressive.
Kind of rhythmic.
It keeps you perky.
Inspiring.
Here's another one.
You ready for another one?
Yeah.
Sarah in Manchester says, wake up your dead by faith no more.
No going back to sleep after that.
Wake up, you're dead.
Yeah, I don't know that track, actually.
It's a bit gloomy.
Faith no more.
Well, we'll have some more of those in a second, but first, here's super furry animals just before the news with Show Your Hand.
Amalays, that's a new product that dries out plaster faster than any other plaster drying product can.
That was Cajun Dance Party, which I think is a little bit misleading as a name for the band.
You know, because you get excited about a Cajun Dance Party and you don't get anything of the sort.
What was he singing about?
You're the catalyst that makes things faster.
Amelie's Dries Out Plaster.
It's a building song.
It's a song for builders.
Is Amelie's an actual product?
I would imagine so.
In which case we shouldn't be playing it on the Big British Castle.
That's true.
It might be coded, you know,
thing, we can talk to Claire Privet about this.
She is our serial thriller provider today and she works in the advertising industry.
Claire, how are you doing?
Are you there?
Good morning, how are you?
Fine, fine.
Very well, thank you.
And you're in South East London today, is that right?
I am, I'm very lucky to live here, yes indeed.
Whereabouts in South East London, Claire?
I'm in the green, near sort of Blackheath, Lewisshire.
Very nice.
Well done, congratulations.
Doing pretty well.
Gotta be doing pretty well.
It's alright.
And you're at home getting ready to go to work.
What time do you have to be at work Claire?
I have to work at nine thirty so it's not too bad.
And home by what time?
Oh gosh, about seven ish.
Really?
What kind of a day is it going to be?
Is there anything you're worried about today?
I don't get worried about things.
Really?
I take it in my stride, absolutely.
No big accounts giving you any problems there Claire?
They always give me problems that I can handle.
Yeah, you know where available?
Are you?
Yeah, for anything.
Pretty much anything.
Are you quite cheap?
We'll advertise anything.
Oh, great.
I've heard that, actually.
We don't.
No, we're expensive, actually.
We'll get you one of our books.
Yeah, good one.
If you would.
We don't advertise actual murder.
That's the only thing we don't do, but pretty much anything... Oh, but we have a need for that right now, so... Anything that pollutes the environment, anything that exploits kids, we're there.
That's what we're into, actually.
We charge a little bit more for that sort of stuff, but pretty much we can work it out.
What's your favourite film, Claire?
I have quite a few, but I just, I do love With Nell and I. Mmm.
Come on, you can't beat With Nell and I. It's a classic.
If you met someone who, and you were talking about With Nell and I and they said, pfft, that film, that's rubbish.
I don't know why everyone goes on about it.
You'd be, what would you do?
I mean, I mean... Well, I would just think they don't, they just don't know what they're talking about.
Exactly.
How old are you?
Do you mind me asking Claire?
You can't ask that.
I'm 34, I've just turned 34.
34 okay, so you would have been a little bit young to go and see it at the cinema, right?
Yeah, probably just about yeah, but yeah But that is a film that made That's a film that made a massive impression on me when it came out went see it at the cinema and I was a little bit older than I a little bit and Man, I was literally I was falling off my seat laughing literally fell off my seat into did you literally fall off your seat fell off my seat Wow Wow, it's amazing what a story
I know, I was in the aisle, I was rolling around, I thought, it's a little bit sticky down here, I'm gonna get back on my seat.
What kind of a cinema were you in?
I tell you exactly where I was, I was in Shaftesbury Avenue and, no, Haymarket, Lower Haymarket, what's that one called?
Anyway, I can't remember.
But wow, yeah, what a film.
Favourite moment from that film, Claire?
It's very difficult isn't it, because there's so many of it.
Most of them are quite sweary.
Uncle Monty, yeah.
He's got some of the best swearing bits in the whole film.
But listen Claire, tell us what two songs you've chosen for us to have breakfast to this morning.
Hang on a second Claire, you keep talking into your bra.
Yeah, whatever you're doing there, it's getting a bit muffly.
That's perfect.
Okay.
So I've just chosen a couple of tracks, obviously, recently.
I've got The Cure in-between Days and New Order Regret.
Great choice.
That was, yeah, exactly.
The Cure in-between Days and Regret from New Order.
Fantastic choice.
And Claire, thank you very much indeed for being on series with us today.
Thanks Claire.
Hey, are we right in saying you are due to give birth soon?
In January.
In January?
Yeah.
Do you know what it's going to be, a boy or a girl?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
The miracle of the surprise baby person.
I'll feel that.
I want a surprise.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, best of luck.
Absolutely.
It's wonderful.
And thanks for your choices.
What are we going to play first?
We're going to play The Cure, In Between Days.
Hello, this is Adam and Jo.
We're here on 6 Music, filling in for Sean Kievny for the rest of this week and all of next.
Yeah, it's 8, 15, 16, 17, 18.
It's 8, 18.
Joe Timechek Cornish.
Yeah, just in case, you know, it's the morning that knowing what time it is is very important.
And you join us just as Joe Cornish is trying to steal the last biscuit from Jenny.
Yeah.
Who is one of them.
Jenny, our lovely helper lady, has bought in three Gary, are they Gary Baldies?
They're a bit like Gary Baldies, but they're more healthy.
They're squash fly biscuits.
Yeah, yeah, they've got a lot of biscuits.
Yeah, I haven't had one of those for years and they are amazing.
Are flies really sweet?
To the taste, are they?
Does anyone know?
Oh, flies.
No, they're not sweet.
Aren't they?
They're bitter.
Also, you should never eat them.
They carry disease.
Do they?
I don't know if you knew that or not.
Is disease sweet?
Well, funnily enough, some diseases can be tasty.
A little bit tasty.
So listen, we've been asking you to text in your, uh, your suggestions for the best song to wake up to.
This is if you live in a kind of a war games-stroke Ferris Bueller style, uh, environment where you can have your computer cue a song or something like that in the morning.
So are you ready for some of these, Adam?
Yeah, please, hit me.
The perfect, this is from somebody called Ninety in Leeds.
His name is actually a number.
John Ninety, we had a week.
There we go.
The perfect wake-up song is the digital hardcore remix of Crash Power by everyone's favorite Japanese techno-metallist mad capsule markets.
You may never sleep again.
So he's going for the cut.
There's two approaches to this.
There's the soothing kind of approach.
Wake up with a lovely optimistic song, or there's kind of like the hardcore in at the deep end cold shower, like metal attack, noise attack.
That's for the youngsters, though, you know?
The older you get, the more suited you want it to be, surely.
Do you think?
We don't know people's ages here, but Johnny is saying, how about Higher State of Consciousness by Josh Wink?
That's a good one.
Wakes me up every time.
Yeah.
Yeah, again, I'd be worried about kind of acid flashbacks there.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Hello, Adam and Joe, I'd like to suggest Albatross by Fleetwood Mac as a wake-up track, eases you into the day, and you glide like a bird all day.
That's true, isn't it?
That's lovely.
That is a lovely song.
That's from Jay.
Let's Go Crazy by Prince.
Yeah.
You know, a good one that I would like to wake up to is Who Loves the Sun by the Velvet Underground.
You know what I'd wake up to?
What?
Fantastic Day by Hekka100.
That's a good idea.
You know?
I didn't know that would be solid goal.
What's the beginning of that one?
No, I'm thinking of Love Plus One is a nicer... No, that's Love Plus One, yeah.
That's lovely, though.
Yeah, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
Is that Love Plus one as well?
I can't remember.
Anyway, and here's one from Cameron in Leeds.
I used to wake up to the opening chords of Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds at university.
I was a very heavy sleeper and the only way to remedy this was to scare myself awake.
Yeah, that would be a good one.
I tell you, another one is 20 seconds to comply.
Yes.
Remember that one?
Yeah.
Now, who was that by?
That sort of, um, jungle-y trip-hop group.
Ah, I forget.
Ah, we'll find out.
Yeah, but that's intense, though.
Yeah, that starts off with the sample from Robocop, Ed 209.
Yeah.
Please put down your weapon.
You have 20 seconds to comply.
Uh, the Russian national anthem wakes you up right in the morning, says, uh, Ryan.
What's the Russian national anthem?
I love Russia, yes I do.
Yes I do.
I love Russia, yes I do.
Yes I do.
And you love Russia as much as I do.
We love Russia, yes we do.
Yes we do.
That's correct.
And that's it.
That's the end of that text competition with that stirring rendition of the National Anthem.
We're going to close that one off because soon it's time for Text the Nation.
And don't forget we've got a rejigged jingle.
A rejingle.
With some extra information for the jingle of Text the Nation.
Yeah, this is only because somebody complained by email yesterday that the Text the Nation competition was non-inclusive to non-mobile phone owners.
And as you know, here at the Big British Castle, it's our mission to be inclusive.
We wish to include everyone.
Yeah.
And, of course, you're welcome to communicate with us any way you wish when we launch Text the Nation.
It doesn't have to be just by text.
And that will be made clear to you once you hear the jingle.
Yeah.
But now, here's the lovely Lily Allen.
Is it true that just the physical act of smiling makes you happy?
It is true.
Is it true it kind of stimulates blood vessels in the happiness nodes, synapses of the brain?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So everybody out there, even if you're not happy, just have a go at smiling.
Does that make you happy?
Even if it's insincere.
It'll work eventually.
It'll work eventually.
A smile is my natural, I'm smiling right now.
If you fake a smile, you can't fake a smile, can you?
Look at that.
Your cat just looks so evil.
Does it look like the Joker?
A fake smile does look evil.
You end up looking like Richard James, effects twin.
Yeah, or itchy the killer.
Yeah, you've seen that film?
That's right, you look like a kind of clown killer.
But it does work, you know, sometimes when you're doing voiceovers and stuff like that, they say, come on, smile, and it just sounds like you're smiling, put a smile in your voice.
OK, so I tell you what, introduce this next song now with No Smile.
OK.
And then do it again with a fake smile and let's see if we can tell the difference.
OK, so No Smile.
This is my breakfast single of the week.
It's the fantastic new single from Spoon called The Underdog.
With a smile.
He's my new single of the week.
It's working.
It's working, isn't it?
It's a spoon with the underdog.
It's a peach that's spoon with the underdog.
This is Adam and Joe on 6 Music.
Now here's the news read by Joe and Catherine.
The Smiths with big mouth strikes again.
This Adam and Joe BBC six music filling in for Sean W. Keveny.
Oh, sorry.
I got distracted by a huge crane moving past the window in a surreal fashion.
Oh yeah, it looked as if the crane, the big metal hook bit was just about a smash into the window.
Yeah, that was kind of a Godzilla moment.
Now, it's nearly time to play Text the Nation, our exciting new quiz that we're very, very proud of.
I think the whole play and quiz element is probably overstated there, don't you?
We've got to use some kind of words to describe it.
It sounds like a fun game.
Is it a quiz?
It's not a quiz, is it?
It's not.
What is it?
What can we describe it as?
It's an opportunity to communicate with people.
Yeah, it's basically the same old rubbish we've been doing all morning, all morning, but with a new sort of name.
With a slightly different name.
Yeah, to try and differentiate things.
So, you may remember that yesterday Adam created an extraordinary compelling trail like Jingle.
for this segment of the show and we had a complaint from a listener and don't ever let it be said that we don't take listener complaints seriously here.
Take them very seriously.
It was stated that we were a prejudice against those who were not, who did not have text capability.
Yeah.
not true.
You can communicate with us in any way that you wish by email, you can, you know, write, use guy writing, it doesn't matter.
So he insisted that we adjust the jingle to include people without mobile phones, people who emailed.
So are we ready?
Are we going to unveil a new jingle?
The new adjusted jingle?
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
So you see, it's quite clear then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That it's not a problem.
Yeah.
If you want to use email, text the nation.
You know what?
Is everyone happy now?
I miss yesterday's jingle when the woman said, er, when it went, text the nation, text, text the nation.
And the woman went, um, er, I don't want to.
And the other woman went, it doesn't matter.
That's all in there.
It's still in there.
Is it?
It's still in there.
Did she say it doesn't matter?
Doesn't matter.
Text.
Really the end at the very end when you say woman just once more It's you doing a lady voice isn't it or is it just a here we go?
What if I don't want to but amusing email is that a problem Yes, you're right.
I missed it Wow, it doesn't matter
So today on Text the Nation, we are talking about things that your parents go off on one about.
Yeah, like elements of pop culture that your mum and dad or older relatives just cannot compute.
They don't understand.
You know it's like moments when you're watching the telly.
Obviously this is for younger listeners, but it used to happen to me when I was a kid, I'd be watching something on the telly.
My dad would open the living room door, he'd look at the telly, he'd look at me and he'd go, what is this?
Not yet.
Oh, Blake Seven.
What a load of rubbish.
You've got to understand how you can watch this, Piffle.
Why are you watching it?
Oh my God.
For my dad, it was Noel Edmonds.
Really?
He couldn't stand Noel Edmonds.
And now we have my dad on the line.
Nigel Buxton is with us.
Just before we speak to Nigel, let's just give the text number is 64046.
You can email adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk.
This is a national survey.
We want to know the pop culture figures, people... Doesn't necessarily have to be completely pop cultural, but just people in the public eye and also things as well.
who your parents cannot tolerate, who really wind them up, who they've got a thing for.
Now, Dad, are you there?
I'm here.
Hello Nigel, it's Joe here.
Good morning, Joe.
Very nice to hear you.
I have to say as well that I would not normally call my dad, Dad.
I would normally call him Daddy.
Well, call him Daddy.
But as we're right, we've discussed this before on the radio.
What do you like as long as it's...
Her little light.
Holmes, can I call you daddy, Nigel?
By all means.
Thank you very much.
So, has Adam explained the purpose of our call today, Nigel?
Yeah.
So, what are the things or people that you tend to go off on one about?
I should think top of my list is, well, pretty near the top of my list is Bob Geldof.
Bob Geldof, we were talking about Bob yesterday, saying that his daughter Peaches seems to be the new Betnoire of the tabloids.
Now, Nigel, without saying anything libelous or at all rude, why is it that Bob Geldof makes you so upset?
I think he's one of the leaders of what I call the Great Unwashed, look.
That's not the main reason that he cuddles
Look at my conflicts.
I'm not going as far to suggest that he's insincere about his views on African poverty, but what gets me is that he's turned humanitarian concern into a colossal showbiz PR exercise.
And what's worse than that, he bangs on about debt relief in not only a very simplistic but
I think rather ignorantly harmful way that the people who really know about the problem of African poverty
I pretty well agree that what Africa needs is political reform.
So, do you get these... I mean, do you get these feelings when you just set eyes on him, Nigel?
If you see him on telly, it makes you angry.
Yes, I do, because he had so much exposure in the last few years that one can't avoid him.
But he's just trying to communicate these problems in a way that he feels the largest amount of people will be able to deal with and understand.
What's wrong with that?
What's wrong with it is it obscures what is really necessary
You see, political reform, which is what Africa needs, is not sexy.
Right, no.
In fact, weirdly...
something that anyone can understand you just say to someone who owes you a lot of money, well, don't bother to pay it back.
And there's something that his fans can relate to.
He makes everyone, including himself, feel pretty good.
Right, right.
Some forms of debt relief are quite sexy, I find.
So who else?
I'll tell you another one.
You ask me, I'll call.
Another one is Boris Johnson.
Right, okay, Boris Johnson.
So without going into any actual policies, what are the things superficially that drive you mental about Boris?
He takes us all for fools.
He himself is very well educated, which most Italians are.
He knows it.
He thinks he can afford to be flippant.
about things which the rest of us are usually rather serious about because we ought to recognize that behind the bumbling of the food there's a superior intelligence in a needle-sharp brain.
It's a kind of conceit, really.
And what sort of words are you likely to use, say, if you're flicking through the channels, Nigel, and you come across Boris Johnson?
What kind of exclamation are you likely to make?
Exclamation of what?
What exclamation, what are you likely to say to express your dislike of Boris Johnson?
In the way he comes across, he's a phony.
He pretends to be a buffoon, and in fact he's a shrewd.
self-interested calculating politics.
So you would plump off a buffoon and phony for Boris Johnson, who a lot of people really like and some people see as the acceptable face of conservatism.
How have your feelings changed about Noel Edmonds or have they?
No, I think Noel Edmonds is fairly harmless.
I don't like people with
his kind of beard and his kind of hairstyle.
Nigel, I think we'll keep you hanging on there if that's okay, but we should go to some music.
This is Maximo Park with girls who play guitars.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6 Music covering for Sean Kievny, and we're right in the middle of Text the Nation, an amazing feature where we ask people to communicate with us about a thing.
It's like a survey.
That's my angle.
It's like a national survey.
We have some of the nation's top brains listening to this programme.
Half a million of the cleverest people in the country and we tap their, you know, collective hive mind.
So our proposition today is about your parents or your older relatives.
What people or aspects of modern life and pop culture make them really angry?
We were just talking to my dad there, Nigel Buxton, aka Bad Dad, and he was going on about a couple of his pet hates, Bob Geldof and Boris Johnson, and they are two people that as soon as they pop up on TV, he'll just immediately explode with, you know, that foamy, oh, that.
We've had a nice text, though, that says, your dad is so sweet.
I have a great dad, but I want another one now, and I want your dad to be my second dad.
And he's right, you know about Bob and Boris.
Idiots.
Oh, I don't know about idiots.
I know I've got a lot of time for both Boris and Bob.
Do you know what I mean?
It's hard, isn't it, too?
It's just hard.
It's very hard.
It's so hard.
Listen, here are some other texts that have come in.
My granddad, and this is from Tom in Wet Romford.
My granddad cannot stand the Simpsons.
Quote.
All those stupid yellow cartoon chaps.
Turn that rubbish off.
That's exactly the kind of thing we're looking for, Tom.
That sort of instant dismissal.
Yes, exactly.
Of something that millions and billions of people adore.
No time for it whatsoever.
Yeah.
Only, only older people can get away with that kind of thing.
And sometimes it's because they really thought about it.
Sometimes it's just because it sort of hits them at the wrong angle.
I like the respectful use of the word chaps there, Tom.
All those stupid yellow cartoon chaps.
Here's another one from Chris in Aberdeen.
And this is a kind of dislike that maybe a lot of us might share.
My mum despises Ray Quinn.
and who could blame her as he is a ventriloquist dummy.
Now, he's the kind of young coruna from The X Factor.
You know the one?
You don't watch that kind of thing, do you, Adam?
He nearly won the X Factor.
And he does.
He looks like a sort of evil ventriloquist dummy.
As that text has said, I'm sure he's a very sweet chap, but there we go.
No time for Ray Quinn.
Chris and Aberdeen's mum hates Ray Quinn.
If you can, like, quote anything your parents would say, that's what personally I love to hear, the actual kind of phrase or sentence your parents would say in disgust.
Yeah, with Noel Edmonds it was always that bearded creep.
What did your dad say about his beard?
Anybody with that kind of beard?
Well, I think he's got a real problem with people that don't shave in general.
Right.
With beards in general.
He doesn't like beards.
I've got a beard at the moment and he sort of holds himself back from actually criticising the beard.
For a few weeks after he first saw me with it, he kept on saying, what is that for?
But that people say it for.
People sort of say that to me anyway.
But it's to nest birds.
I'm breeding a rare species of tick.
I think his theory is that if you've got a beard or you don't shave, it shows that you're a lazy person, feckless person, also you're hiding something.
I agree with him.
That's the gist of it for my dad.
We'll talk to him a bit later on about that.
Beards is a whole other factor.
Here's a really good one from an anonymous texter saying that, I think he or she has a parent or elderly relative who complains about anybody with a fringe which hangs lower than their eyes.
Quote, governing up their lovely
face.
That's what my mum used to say.
And significantly raising the risk of conjunctivitis.
I hate to back it up with a little medical error.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
So keep those texts coming in.
The text number is 64046.
It's important that you all text us immediately with your best stories of people or things in popular culture that your parents dismiss out of hand.
We might try and, uh, get my dad back on the line in a few minutes, but first, here's Booker T and the MG's!
It's a smash.
Booker T. Yeah, let's both say it.
And the MG's.
And the M- I was gonna say, I was gonna say Booker T and the Memphis Group.
To like, to be a bit of a sort of show-off muso-prat.
Yeah, cause that's what MG stands for, yeah.
Um, I'm not going to say anything else now.
Good morning, listeners.
This is Adam and Jo on the BBC Six music breakfast show, filling in for Sean Kievny.
It's nearly news time.
It's nearly the top of the hour.
But before we do that, we're talking about people or things in popular culture that your parents or
elderly relatives kind of dismiss out of hand that they kind of hate.
And here's a good kind of spin on this.
Kate Humphrey in Rugby has sent us an email that says, my granddad dislikes quite a few people in the public eye, but it's the names he calls them that I find funny.
Barbara Strident Eric clapped out Michael Flatfeet I could go on but I have to get to work I wish you had gone on Kate that's really true isn't it like mums and dads kind of inventing dismissive comedy names for things I remember whenever I was watching Top of the Pops and my dad would come into the front room and he'd go not Top of the Flops
I think every parent calls top of the flops top of the flops, don't they?
Yeah, that's genius.
Right now, here's Candy Payne.
After the news, we will be talking once again to my dad and continuing to find out some more things that make your parents froth at the mall.
BBC Six music Adam and Joel Text-a-nation!
Text-text-text!
Text-a-nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation!
But I'm using email, is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
There we go, that's the brand new jingle, today's new jingle for Text the Nation, our amazing sort of survey section of the show.
We've had an email from the person who complained yesterday.
The person responsible for having the jingle changed, his name is Chris.
His email goes like this, Wow, the new jingle is amazing.
I feel so proud of myself for complaining.
This is going on my CV as an achievement.
Quote, Successfully negotiated change of jingle on popular radio show.
It's very nice of you to use the word popular there.
Chris, and thanks very much for your interventionist behavior.
Now, we're talking about things that make your parents go into a kind of furious ranting state.
Have we got any more text stroking bells there?
Yes, we have.
We've got lots.
Okay, here is a good one from Lindsay.
My mum hates Linda Bellingham.
when she was in the graveyads the mum would growl oh for christ's sake at the telly i've no idea what the root of her loading was oh for christ's sake bellingham i don't know i don't think you need logic for that yeah but she caused a sort of visceral reaction in many people i remember bellingham yeah okay here's another one from tom in cantabri my dad hates all hip-hop and thinks anything that has rapping in it is the fujis turn this fujis rubbish off is an off repeated demand that's
Brilliant.
All rapping is the foodies.
Here's another one from Abby in Edinburgh.
My mum goes into a spitting ball of fury at the mention of Celine Dion and her, quote, massive smug nose.
And Catherine Zeta-Jones.
She says, oh, she's got a greedy beefy cleavage.
Greedy beefy cleavage.
That's good though, isn't it?
That's right.
Your mum's a genius, Abby.
Parents are so clever.
They've lived.
They know these things.
They understand they can detect these things.
My dad always used to have this thing he said when he saw someone he didn't like.
It used to be Jan Leeming a lot when the news came along in the olden days and it was being read by Jan Leeming.
Oh, Jan Leeming.
I'm putting her in my leaky boat in the North Atlantic.
Wow he had a leaky boat that he put people in Noel Edmonds was going in that he's going in the leaky boat That's nice because it's almost kind of viciously horrible He's almost saying I want to kill a person right, but actually he's putting them in a leaky boat, so they do have a minor chance of survival They're in jeopardy, but they might be able to paddle to safety if they change their ways now Let's play a little bit of music Joe.
This is your free choice, and then after this I think we'll try and raise my dad I'm a bit worried about this thing
Listeners, I've got a secret problem with the Paul McCartney album, Pipes of Peace.
Right, i.e.
the problem is you love it.
I love it.
And I've got a secret problem with this track from the Paul McCartney album, Pipes of Peace.
It's called The Other Me.
You know, I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, but you know, if I have a guilty pleasure,
Not that we like that phrase, this would be it.
And I can only apologise for inflicting it on you.
I didn't know the staff here would actually pull it out and make me play it.
So here it is.
I love this though.
This is Paul McCartney with the other me.
Hello.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here, filling in for Sean Keibney on BBC Six Music.
So, Joe Cornish, the other me there.
Yeah.
Hello listeners, my name's Joe Cornish, I'd like to officially apologise for making you listen to that.
I like it, but then it doesn't mean that you like it, so I'm really sorry.
Particularly to Jason in Stockholm, he's listening in Stockholm and he's actually emailed in, no sorry you're wrong, this is dreadful, please stop playing this and never ever play it again in private or public, not even in private Jason in Stockholm, that's harsh.
He's got a restraining order on it.
But you know what, I will obey you.
Alright then.
What now?
Now, Text the Nation, we are talking about things that make your parents go into a fits of fury.
And we've had a lot of texts and emails from people about various things that their parents fly into a rage about.
Most of them are now about stopping McCartney, actually.
We've had a whole flurry of stop this, stop it, stop McCartney.
Can't believe we played it the whole way through.
I suggested we come out of it earlier.
I like the dustbin lyric.
Yes.
Oh dear.
Anyway, yeah, we've been inviting you to text us in as part of our text the nation type thing.
Things in pop culture or the world that make your parents or grandparents incensed for no rational reason.
And we've got so many good ones here.
Um, here we go.
This is from, uh, Ollie in St.
Ives.
That sounds so insulting, though.
That's fair enough, isn't it?
Here's another one from Lizzy.
That's not art!
But she usually swears a lot more.
That's a good one.
My dad's got a lot to say about... Man, modern art is a real Achilles heel for all parents, surely.
They all go off on one about that.
Yeah.
It's just a pile of bricks!
I mean, it's ludicrous!
Politicians are good targets for parents and elderly relatives as well.
Lucian Colchester says, my late granddad used to go, that Tony Blair.
You know what I call him?
Jelly baby Blair.
He's got no backbone.
Nice.
I like that.
Do you know what I call him before the reveal of the name?
It's like teasing it a bit.
Here's something in reference to parents and grandparents, uh, despisal of any beard or facial hair growth relating to what you were saying earlier, Adam.
This is Sean in Labrick Grove.
Uh, my dad says, why would I cultivate something on my face which grows wild around my bottom?
Yeah, well, that's a fair point, isn't it?
We'll talk to my dad about that in a second, but first, here's a bit more music.
This is Beth Orton with Concrete Sky.
That's Beth Orton with Concrete Sky.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6 Music.
We have my father, Nigel Buxton, on the line to, uh, to chat to us a tiny bit more about things that get him furious.
Did you enjoy Beth Orton there, dad?
Yeah.
Did you enjoy Paul McCartney before that?
Paul McCartney.
He didn't hear Paul McCartney before.
Well, I'm not a great fan of Paul McCartney, I'm afraid.
Why not?
What do you think of Paul McCartney?
I think he's passed his shelf life, really.
He was quite engaging about a hundred years ago as one of the Beatles, but I think he's
That makes it sound like you used to really be into the Beatles.
You're making it sound as if you used to really like the Beatles, but now you've gone off them.
That's not the case, though, is it?
Well, I think everything has its time, and the Beatles were a long time ago.
They were rather engaging when they were young and fresh, but Paul McCartney
So Nigel, can I just run past you some of the responses we're getting from our listeners here?
Say again.
I'm just going to read to you some of the responses we're getting from our listeners.
OK.
There's a listener whose mum hates... This is not a very good line, but...
Oh, what shall we pass here?
What?
Can you... Here we go.
Tracy Emin was one that came up.
You have some fairly strong views on Tracy Emin, don't you?
Yes, I think she is the nearest thing to poison that I've seen in public for a long time.
What's wrong with Tracy Emin?
I think she's entertaining and her stuff is funny.
She's a tremendous fraud, like so much of the world of pop art.
What about Paddy Ashdown?
What do you think of Paddy Ashdown?
Oh, he's all right.
He's harmless.
Ah, he's all right.
That's good.
That's the closest thing to praise.
I think like many Lib Dems, he's not entirely plausible, but I think he's...
The closest you've been to hip-hop was meeting Coolio back in LA.
I can't pretend I'm a great fan of hip-hop music, but I'm nothing against it.
And he was in a shame.
And finally, you've got a problem with people that don't shave.
Well, yes, I hate film actors and male models who think it's sexy not to wash and shave.
Seems to me extremely perverse.
You're assuming that just because they have a little bit of stubble, they don't wash.
I think most of them wash, they just cultivate a... Well, of course, this is the trouble one can't tell.
If they can't be bothered to shave, it's quite possible they don't bother to wash or use the airdrant.
There's something rather creepy about them.
How are you dealing with my beard at the moment?
Well, I assume that your beard is for good professional purposes.
It's not because you think you look more beautiful with a beard.
No.
Possibly you do.
But I put it down to a professional necessity.
Alright, fair enough.
Hey, Daddy, thanks a lot for calling us today and thanks for talking to us.
Thanks, Nigel.
Good to speak to you.
Bye now.
Bye.
Have a good day.
Bye-bye.
Thanks.
Well, that's great stuff.
That was bad, Dad.
They're just weighing in on our epic text to the nation.
We've had so many emails and texts that we might have to do one more little go at this after the next song.
Oh, which is?
Oh, what a peach.
I've got to stop calling things peaches.
This is a delightful plum from the House Martins and it's sheep.
Hooray, the house martin's there with sheep.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
Here are some more texts that have come in about things that make your parents annoyed for irrational reasons.
Are you ready, Adam?
Yeah, go on.
Hi, Chris and Aberdeen again.
My dad once said he'd love to punch Jerry Halliwell in the face.
That's a bit much, isn't it?
Well, I didn't say it.
Chris didn't say it.
Her dad said it.
Usually the parents at least dress things up.
You know, they put them in a leaky boat or they call them funny names.
It's not usually as direct as that.
That's what makes that quite exciting, that text.
Here's another one.
Read from Okum.
Hello, Joe and Adam.
My dad used to say, Neil Diamond, money for old rope.
I have no idea why.
That's not true.
Anyway, he's a genius.
Jen in Soho.
My dad gets enraged at the neighbour's theme and end credits before the six o'clock news starts.
He turns the sound off, tuts and groans at it.
That's fair enough.
It's a dreadful noise.
Tony Hatch, isn't it?
It's something like that.
It used to be.
They remixed it, though, recently.
Made it new.
Here's Tom again, Tom again, Tom.
He must have texted before.
My grandma hates anything on TV to do with space or sci-fi.
I'm not watching that.
It's just silly.
Says Grandma.
That is a precise impression of Tom's grandma as well.
And finally, Zoe says, My ma'am hates songs that have sirens in them.
She thinks it should be against the law in case you get confused when you're driving.
Oh, don't we just love our mums and dads and our grands and grandpa?
My mum got in an absolute fury the other day because she was watching Jonathan Ross's TV show and the Arctic Monkeys were on there and they were performing in clown costumes.
I don't know if you saw that.
And she just got incensed and she wouldn't shut up about it.
I just saw that because we went to see the Arctic Monkeys playing in France and we were there.
And they were amazing.
And she was saying, oh the Arctic Monkeys, yes I saw them on Jonathan Ross's programme.
They were dressed as clowns.
I thought it was pathetic.
Maybe she's got, there's a name for clown-phobia isn't there?
Yeah.
The issue of the 14 times was all about it.
What's the problem with dressing like it?
Well it was just pathetic I thought.
I mean why?
Well just for fun.
Yes but oh it was pathetic.
I thought they looked silly.
So yeah, she wasn't having any of it.
Mums and dads, eh?
What are you going to do with them?
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
It's coming up to 9.30pm and time for the news with Joe and Catherine.
That's Frank Black with Headache.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music filling in for Sean W. Kievny while he's sunning his sexy body somewhere in Italy.
Absolutely.
We don't know exactly where.
Eating sun-dried tomatoes.
If we try, if we find out the location, we will give it out on air.
Yeah?
Just so that he can be punished for his leisure.
Exactly.
So if you're in Italy, you can go and make friends with him.
Okay, it's Album of the Daytime.
Album of the Day Today is Oasis's classic What's the Story?
Morning Glory.
Cut the star of that album.
Sean Rowley's Shoes.
Sean Rowley.
Is it Sean Rowley?
Yeah, with his back to the camera.
There you go.
Walking down a street in London.
I can't remember which street it is.
There you go.
Now, this track was released, the album was released in 1995, it was their second album, and the follow-up to Definitely Maybe.
Am I making this sound as if I'm just saying this off the top of my head?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ask me some more stuff.
Ask me about whether the band are releasing a new DVD.
Yes, they are.
On the 29th of October, it's called Lord Don't Slow Me Down, and it's about the Don't Believe the Truth World Tour, which took place from May 2005 to March 2006.
Do you want a little name-dropping story now?
Oh, I suppose so.
I was at Dave Walliams birthday party on the weekend.
He's over.
Walliams?
I'm only joking.
He's just begun.
Go on, keep talking.
And Noel Gallagher was there.
He's over.
He's... I'm only joking.
Yeah.
I'm just jealous.
Keep going.
Right.
And he shot me a look.
Did he?
He shot me a little look.
Yeah.
Wow, what did the look say?
It said... You.
And his girlfriend Sarah also shot me the same look.
So you didn't talk to them?
You.
You prat.
It sounds like a great party.
But I got nice looks from everyone else and here's the thing.
David Tennant, doctor who, he came up to me and he said, no, David introduced me to David Tennant and said, oh, this is David Tennant, do you know each other?
And David said, yes, yes, we've met before, haven't we?
Shaking my hand.
And I said, I don't know if we have.
And he's like, oh, God, no, no, I've just seen you on telly.
Oh, how embarrassing.
To me.
Wow.
Isn't that exciting?
And you would think that I'm easily the least well-known person out of that question.
Who are you?
Exactly.
Who are you?
That's what I'm asking.
And I got nervous props off David Tennen.
I was very happy with that.
That's exciting, man.
But listen, back to the album of the day.
Oasis with Watch the Story Morning Glory.
The track we're playing is Hey Now and you can hear further tracks from the album throughout the day here on BBC Six Music.
That's the album of the day here on BBC Six Music.
Hey Now from Watch the Story Morning Glory by a band called Oasis.
Oasis.
Oh, it's you, you brat.
Now, I did say we weren't going to go back to our fantastic text the nation thing, but we've had a couple of texts that just have to be read out.
Of course, we were asking listeners to let us know about things that infuriate their parents or grandparents.
My gran, this is from Jay in Surrey, my gran goes through the paper and scribbles Victoria Beckham's face out.
She's another good example actually of one that gets... I wonder what your dad would think about Victoria Beckham.
I have enough trouble dealing with her, let alone if I was like over 70.
What is the... Can you encapsulate the problem you have with Victoria Beckham?
Well, you know, a word your dad uses a lot, Adam, is the word absurd.
Yeah.
And she is kind of the personification of absurdity, isn't she?
She looks absurd.
She says absurd things.
What is she saying?
She seems to lead an absurd life.
Yeah.
She launches absurd products.
Product?
Product.
Shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit, a shit,
Here's another email on the same subject.
One of my dad's favourites is to comment on people on the TV, comment on their physical defects.
His favourite are bald people wearing wigs.
So, for example, when an actor wearing a wig walks into any scene on any TV show, he'll be greeted by my dad shouting at the telly.
Here he comes, Wiggy Van Wig.
Nice, he's really thought about that, hasn't he?
So when an actor's playing a detective, it'll be followed up by, oh yeah, what you gonna do about that, Wiggy Van Wig?
Wig, wig, wig.
Wiggy, wig, wig.
The wig, wig.
The wigster.
Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly Wiggly
Brendan Benson may be known to some people as one half of the raconteurs with Jack White.
That's his side project.
His main project is just being himself, just being Brendan.
And this is from his excellent second album, which I found out the name of and now I've forgotten again.
Oh, I'm such a jerk.
But it's a really... I knew the name of the McCartney album.
Alternative to Love.
Yes, I remembered.
And the song is called What I'm Looking For.
Hope you enjoy it.
This is Adam and Jo on 6 Music coming up to the last, like, eight minutes of our show.
But they're going to be an amazing eight minutes because we've got that brilliant Edwin Collins track coming up and a little bit of Arctic Monkeys.
Jo's got his hood up on his top.
Is that wrong?
And he's wearing his headphones over the hood.
He looks... Is that wrong?
He looks like, what do you look like?
You look like Mr. Cool.
That's what you look like.
You look like Mr. Cool.
I was trying to think, who is it?
Is it Mr. Pratt?
Is it Mr. Nobbles?
Or is it Mr. Cool?
Mr. Nobbles?
I'm interested in Mr. Nobbles.
It's a combination of Mr. Nobbles and Mr. Cool.
Hang on, now I get Mr. Nobbles.
It's the beginning of the word Nobbles, isn't it?
I'm going home tonight, and when I get home, I'm gonna watch some TV.
That's exciting stuff.
Okay, here's a record.
Where's this going?
The end of that was that while I'm watching TV, I'm going to be nervous because I've got new neighbours, right?
And for the last few nights, when they get back from work, I'm assuming, they start doing all the putting the house to rights and they start putting up pictures.
So they're banging, banging, banging while I'm listening to or watching the TV.
Now, what is so far, they have not gone beyond nine p.m.
with the banging.
Would you say that's appropriate behavior?
What's the cut-off for putting up pictures?
I think 9 p.m.
is probably right.
You got to think of the children.
What time do children generally go to bed?
Well, they go to bed way before 9 p.m.
Well, then that's irresponsible.
They should know you've got young children, and they should stop their banging earlier in the evening.
You know, sometimes before I had children, and I was a less respectful member of the society,
When I moved into a flat, I used to do a bit of late night putting up pictures, but my technique to throw off the neighbours would be to do random banging.
Do you know what I mean?
What do you mean?
Like, not regular.
I thought it would be more annoying if it was like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
So what I would do is...
Bang!
Bang, bang.
Bang.
I tell you, a better technique would be to be nailing in like seven nails simultaneously in different areas around the house and do one bang on each nail at a time.
Ooh.
You know, so.
Get friends around.
Yeah, well, no, it'd be just like moving around the house.
Oh, okay.
So there'd be a bang in the wall in the front room, then suddenly one in the attic, and just as they were complaining about that one, you know, you get my drift.
Yeah, that would confuse them.
Listen, here's this fantastic new single by Edwin Collins.
This is You'll Never Know.
Fantastic.
This is Edwin Collins with You'll Never Know, and he's got a new album coming out.
His sixth solo album, it'll be out on the 17th of September, and it's called Home Again, and I personally am very excited about that.
It's a kind of a filly soul sound.
Yeah, I love the sound of that.
Very good.
This has been Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks to everybody who's texted and emailed us.
We'll be back again tomorrow morning.
Believe it or not, believe it or not, at 7am.
Here's the Arctic Monkeys with Fluorescent Adolescent.
Have a very fantastic day and stay tuned for Gideon Coe.
Bye!