Oh dear.
Yay, that was the Who with Won't Get Fooled Again.
Hi, my name's Adam.
Hey, my name's Joe.
Very nice to be with you listeners.
We're filling in for Sean Kievny for a couple of weeks, so sorry if it's a bit of a shock if you're expecting Sean.
The Kieves.
The Kievner to be talking to you this morning, but we're going to try and make it as easy as possible for you or some great music to play you and some fun things to chat about.
It's a horrible, horrible morning.
I'm sorry to tell you that, but you shouldn't go out.
If there's any way you can avoid leaving the house today, I would try to take it.
Hey, it might be gorgeous in other parts of the country.
No.
In fact, I was in Wales yesterday.
Really?
And it was raining for the Green Man Festival.
Yeah.
It was pouring, but apparently it's pretty sunny today.
Am I right?
In Wales?
Yeah.
That's no good to me.
Well, you know, it's good for people in Wales.
Yeah.
But I mean, London really kind of sets... We're in London, you know, listeners, and mainly that's what you have to worry about.
It's no good to any... It's no good to us if you're happy in Wales.
In London, don't go out.
That's what I'm saying.
Quite right.
We've got great music coming up, though, for the next two and a bit hours.
We've got some Susie Sue coming up, some Dinosaur Junior, a bit of Beck, and then you've got an archive session track coming up, right, Ad?
Yeah, a bit of Pavement, I think.
And what's... because we plundered the appeal sessions, and so we've got Pavement today from that, and what have you got, Joe?
I've got a bit of Aztec camera coming up later.
Nice.
That's a little bit.
Which bit of Aztec camera have you got?
It's a little bit.
It's a bit.
You know what?
I'm going to make it a surprise.
Oh.
for later in the show.
But here it is.
What about a bit of Swixie Swix?
That's how you say her name, isn't it?
Susie Sue, this is her new album.
This is her first solo album after 150 years in show business.
Has it been that long?
It's been that long.
And finally, after years of successful punk fun with the Banshees, she's busting out on her own.
And this is a track called Into a Swan.
There we go.
That's Into a Swan.
What does she mean by that?
Into a Swan.
She just, she's in love with one, she just likes one.
She's just into it.
Yeah.
Yeah, a particular swan.
It's not a physical thing.
Is it, uh, has she bought it or does she just lite her in the local park?
No, she's spotted one in a park.
Really?
What does she like about it?
The neck, the curve of the neck.
The curve of the neck?
They've all got curvy necks.
No, but this one's different.
Really?
It's got a kinky neck, a kinky knit neck.
Yeah, it broke its neck at one point.
It was in a scene with Hugh Grant in About a Boy.
Really?
And Hugh Grant threw a prop at the swan.
Is that true?
No.
Is there a swan in About a Boy?
Yeah, don't you remember there's a bit where he chucks a load of bread in the pond and he kills one of the swans.
And it's amusing because it's like, huh, what's he gonna do wrong this time?
And he kills a swan with bread, which I don't think is possible.
But he gets a big stale... Hang on, hold your horses, it's not possible to kill a swan with bread.
Well... Bread expands in the gut.
Yeah, isn't there an animal in the garden that you're not supposed to feed bread to?
Because, yeah, there is, there is, there is, there is!
Because it goes pasty and inside its gullet it expands.
What, worms?
Which animal in the garden?
What are you talking about?
Birds.
Birds?
Yeah, I don't know.
They live on bread.
I don't know.
They live on bread.
So Joe was saying to me, while that record was playing, he's a little bit nervous.
Folks being on the BBC, because, you know, we're used to sort of independent radio life.
We're used to a rocky London station.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We haven't really been national.
I mean, I did some stuff on Radio 4, actually.
Do your Radio 4 voice.
Oh, my Radio 4 voice is a little bit like this.
Does that sound any different?
It's very common.
It's soothing, isn't it?
But, you know, to be broadcasting to the whole of Britain, it's different for us.
It is, and there's a lot of rules, there's a lot of things, you know, because the... I don't know if you knew this, but the BBC stands for British...
uh big castle really yes or maybe big british big british castle yeah and it's a it's the last bastion of decency in a world gone insane i don't know if you knew i've heard that it's a castle built of red tape yeah there's a certain amount of red tape holding the castle together but it's it's fortified with decency and there's a lot of things that you can and can't do and we've just been taught um a little bit about these things before we came on air
There's a list of words we've been handed that you can, on no account, say.
Right.
I'm only gonna say these once and never again.
Right.
Here's the words and make a note of them.
Not only you, Joe... Okay, are you sure it's wise to say them?
Well, we've got to get them out of the way.
What are gonna... This is the first show in supposedly a fortnight of shows, and you're gonna say the band words in the first 15 minutes.
To get them out of the way.
Because I know how you're... That's good thinking.
Yeah, because it sounds... That's actually clever.
It's not even 7.15.
Most people aren't.
No one's listening.
No one's listening.
Here's the first word.
French boy.
You can't, is that one word?
It is.
Really?
If it's one word.
If it's two words, it's okay.
It's okay.
If it's one word.
But together.
No.
Why?
I'm not, I'm not going to explain a lot of these.
It's slightly erotic, isn't it?
Well, there's that.
Here's another one.
Yep.
Slovenly.
Ooh.
That's a filthy sounding word.
Exactly.
It's just bad.
It's just not a good word.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Won't be saying that again.
Here's a few words now.
I'm going to say them together.
Right.
Wiggle, cripple, ripple and nipple.
Can't say any of those words.
None of them.
Separately or together?
In any way.
In any combination.
How are we going to get through the next two weeks without saying nipple?
Well, look, I can't... Can we say teat?
No, you can't.
I'd say... What about pacifier?
Oh, my goodness.
Move on.
Next word you can't say.
Mmm.
Couple of words.
Mmm.
Thick otter.
Thick... Thick otter.
It's... Yeah.
Thick otter.
Thick otter.
Thick otter.
Yeah.
It's bad.
Bad for the... Yeah.
Well, they're very active on the... on the complaints.
The thick otters.
Exactly.
Uh... Berries?
Berries?
Don't say it.
Berries?
Don't say it.
What's wrong with berries?
Does it connect to nipples?
They're similar.
Don't say it.
I'm saying these words so you don't dwell on them, alright?
Don't dwell on them.
Final word before we have a bit of music.
Pianist.
Alright, on the old account, even if it's relevant and you're chatting about someone playing the piano, just don't.
Whoa, there we go.
Beck making funny little electronic farty noises.
On the single version of that, maybe that was the single... Oh yeah, look, there's another 38 seconds of those electronic farty noises.
Really?
Yeah, it goes on and on.
He's a Scientologist.
He got fired from doing the music for Nacho Libre.
Did you know that?
Why?
Because he didn't deliver it in time.
There's a bit of Beck gossip.
He didn't deliver it in time.
No, he was late.
That's unusual for the best day.
That's a bit of Hollywood gossip I picked up when I was in Hollywood recently.
Where'd you pick that up from, John?
From Hollywood.
From the Hollywood gossip bin.
From the grapevine.
The gossip bin.
Can we chat to you a little bit later on about what it's like... No, you can't.
No, you can't.
You wouldn't understand it.
Um, hello, we're Adam and Jo, this is Six Music on the BBC.
We're here filling in for Sean Keveny for the next two weeks.
That's ten mornings, three hours a morning, making thirty hours of this kind of rambly nonsense.
One of the most amazing things, of course, about being at the BBC is the access to the amazing archive of music, recorded music and sessions they have here, and we've plundered the Peel Sessions archive.
For you folks, we're going to be playing a couple of Peel Session tracks every day while we're covering for Sean.
And I think in just a second, we're going to hear one from Pavement.
But first, this.
On BBC Two, Bruce Parry travels to some of the furthest corners of the earth to become one of the tribe.
Wow, what a reception.
And they all look like they're waving.
Rarely do I get the whole village turning out.
They're not waving at all.
They're slapping the bugs.
In the first of a new series, he spends a month with the Matisse in the remote Western Amazon.
This is potentially very dangerous.
I've just been told to get down.
tribe begins tomorrow night at nine on BBC two does it does it begin tomorrow night at nine on BBC two or is it all faked this is potentially very dangerous that's what he said in there he was sitting in his front room with a big cocktail faking the whole thing all televisions fake this is fake this program's fake it's good if we if we had some jungle music behind what we were talking about now we could say
This is potentially very dangerous.
What do you mean by jungle music?
Goldie.
Yeah, some trip hop.
Yeah, exactly.
That is potentially very dangerous.
Now, here's something that's also potentially very dangerous because, of course, amongst the things you can't do, uh, talking wise on the BBC, is use swearing talk.
You can't use swearing talk?
None.
What kind of a radio station is this?
All the other stations are full of swearing.
No, it's the big British castle, and you can't use swearing talk.
Quite right.
It's a bad example.
Exactly.
Unfortunately, one of the tracks that I really wanted to play on this appeal session by Pavement from 1992...
This is quite exciting, there's potential for a huge breakdown here at the BBC.
breakdown a swearing crisis yeah and we could be out the door just as quickly as we got in it's like something from one of those Mission Impossible films it's almost exactly like you got a deep fuse to swear at exactly the right moment otherwise the whole corp could could blow up yeah are you ready listeners you think we could do it yes yes here's pavement with circa 1772 is it 1772
Oh, you see you got that wrong?
How are you gonna dip the swearing out at the correct moment?
This is a disaster.
This is gonna be amazing.
Okay, hit it, pavement.
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do to you if you misbehave, Joe.
What?
I'm gonna light you and stick a flag on you.
I heard the naughty word slightly quietly behind, didn't you?
Didn't you, listeners?
It was a lot.
It was a very naughty word.
It was the worst.
It was one of the worst.
The worst of all words.
Because it describes the worst place of a human being.
Let's not get into that.
Listen, as I've been going on about, I was just at the Green Man festival last weekend.
Nice bit of weather there, you got.
A lot of rain.
But playing on Sunday night was Stephen Malkmus.
The mighty Malkmus.
Right, the bloke what we just heard.
Yeah.
Yeah, but unfortunately, and I'd be interested in hearing from anybody listening who was at the Green Man Festival and stayed for Sunday night.
Most people were leaving on Sunday morning because it looked like it was going to be the third day of solid rain.
Solid rain.
But mountainous was playing on the Sunday evening.
I wonder what kind of a crowd he played to.
Four people?
Five people?
He was staying in the same hotel as me.
He came down for breakfast between 8.30 and 9.
I think he had double fried eggs, a bit of bacon.
Double fried eggs?
Does that mean... Yeah, two fried eggs.
Double is two things.
Of course.
Yeah.
And I very nearly hit him and his entourage with my... Fist?
No, car, as I came down the hill.
Why?
Just because they were walking in the middle of the road.
And I was going quite fast.
Yeah.
But I, you know, avoided them.
Oh, well done.
So yeah, he's, he's, he's gonna live.
He's alive.
He's alive.
I could have taken him out.
Yeah.
I had an opportunity there to silence him.
That would have been a disaster.
Yeah.
I don't really know their stuff personally.
He's a good man.
It would have been perfect.
For me, I would have been angry with you.
might have improved him.
If I'd just injured him slightly, it might have inspired him to write better songs.
It can happen.
Robert Wyatt reckons that in some ways being crippled was the making of him.
That's one of the bad words, I thought, that you've just said.
That's actually true.
Yeah.
Listen, if you want to text us, you can text us at Adam and Jo.
dot six music is that really right at bbc.co.uk that's configured in a way that no other email address has ever been configured Adam and Jo will one word dot six music with the number six at bbc.co.uk or you can text us on six four zero four six that's six four zero four six
I'm not saying incidentally that Robert Wyatt was delighted by the idea of being disabled, I'm just saying that because fake handed him that card, he made the best of it.
I'm trying to wriggle out of that.
Now we're going to say before that we're encouraging people to vote for who they think has picked the best peal session tracks throughout our tenure here at Six Music.
Yeah, we can get into that in a second.
Let's have some kind of lanky gypsy.
Cool Blimey, that's like being smashed over the head with a frying pan first thing in the morning.
That's very good though, isn't it?
Go-go Baldello.
He was that bloke that appeared on stage with Madonna at Live Earth.
What did he do?
He just waved his limbs around.
Anyway, it's time for the news now with Adrian and Harvey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How awful.
Monday bank holiday.
Everyone else is gonna, no one's gonna be listening.
That's the wrong attitude.
Everyone's gonna be listening.
There you go, that's the right attitude.
That's good, good.
Glad we've sorted that out.
Yeah, we're coming up to the second third of our first hour.
Is that the kind of information listeners need?
My listeners like to orientate themselves within the hour.
Actually, this time in the morning they do because it's a question of timing your departure for work, getting the breakfast in, getting the teeth brushed, getting the bits and bobs cleaned, the various furrows cleaned before you set off for work.
Is that what you do, is it?
Clean your bobs.
What, do you not?
Five minutes for the bobs.
For the bobs.
A couple of seconds for the bits.
Yeah, that is exactly what I do.
Don't forget you can text us, I don't know why you'd want to, but you can on 64046, or you can email us at adamandjo.6musicatvbc.co.uk.
And if you do, please put your name on it, so we can refer to you by your name.
We want to be friends.
We want to be friends with you, because there are only four of you listening, so we could be really proper friends, come and do the show from your house, and maybe we'd fall in love.
We could be super friends.
What are they?
Well, better friends with special powers.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, we could, could we?
Yeah.
Yeah, we could be that.
Now, session-wise, I was saying before that we're going to encourage you to vote for which of our session tracks you like best.
And now it's very, this kind of thing is currently very complicated at the BBC, because of course there's been a national scandal about the media lying, and so we're not allowed any competitions or to do anything in the least competitive.
No, competition is bad, pitting people against each other.
Yeah, it's just wrong in communist Britain.
We all have to work together now.
That's right.
I've bought in a whole lot of flipping competitions, listeners that I organized.
Seriously, I had like a crap commentary competition.
We used to do it on the other radio show.
It was going to be brilliant, but I can't use it.
Can you not use it?
Why don't you do it on me?
I'll do it on you.
Because that's okay.
Well, that's a complete between ourselves.
That's okay.
And listeners could contribute in a sort of non-competitive way.
Right.
There's nothing to stop you texting in, right?
They can do what they want.
Isn't that right?
She's not saying anything.
Our lovely producer.
She can't be drawn.
Remaining mute.
But if the competition somehow leaks from you and I to the listeners... That would be wrong.
That's when trouble starts.
But listen, here's a non-competitive thing to do.
Yeah.
Adam and I are both playing archive session tracks on this morning's show, and we'd simply like you to text in and hit us with something you think is best.
So in a way, that is competitive, isn't it?
It's competitive between us, but as long as the listeners aren't competing.
Got you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I mean, we still don't really understand.
But, you know, we've already played the first session track, which was Adam's pavement track, and I'm going to be playing one in a second, right?
Yeah, but first, I'd like a lovely glass of Winehouse.
But she's on drugs, she's on K!
No!
She's in rehab!
She's not!
We shouldn't be playing this, it's a bad influence.
She's delightful.
First beat Pete Doherty, and now this.
I like her.
That's good stuff, man.
Tears dry on their own by Amy Winehouse.
This is Adam and Jo on 6 Music at the BBC.
Good Times 2001, the world was changed in so many ways and one of the most enjoyable ways that it was changed was the arrival on the scene of The Strokes.
That was, that was, that album came out just before the world changed.
It did, yeah.
Didn't it?
Yeah, because they had to take the track New York City Cops off.
Did they?
Yeah.
On account of the enormous seismic shifts
in the world's political and economic make-up.
Have you seen, you don't really watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, do you, Joe?
No.
There's a funny episode where there's a guy on there who's saying that he should have special dispensation to do all sorts of things because he suffered a personal tragedy.
His brother was killed on 9-11.
His brother who lived in New York was killed on 9-11.
He keeps on saying this, and it turns out he just happened to die on that day.
uh, somewhere else in the city and he wasn't involved and Larry David keeps going on, but he wasn't involved in the tragedy!
It wasn't part of the tragedy!
Anyway.
It sounds distasteful and that's one of the reasons I don't watch that programme.
It was, uh, delightfully distasteful, weren't you?
Um, so this is Adam and Joe, this is BBC Six Music.
We're gonna be playing a couple of session tracks this morning.
We've already heard one from Adam, uh, by Pavement.
They've been kind of personally plucked from the Peel files.
Yeah, we went through the amazingly long list of bands that have appeared on the Peel Sessions and we picked out a few of the ones that we particularly were excited to hear.
So here comes my one.
What we'd like you to do, listeners, is choose which one you like best.
Now there's no reason for you to do this.
We're not giving out any prizes because we're not allowed to.
But it's just a kind of a census, an important national census
to find out whether our listeners prefer pavement or the music of Roddy Frame and Aztec Camera.
This is my choice, recorded at the BBC, date not known.
Unknown.
Date unknown.
So whoever was organizing that recording session, whoever the broadcast assistant was, I'm looking at our broadcast assistant at the moment, Jenny.
She was very lapsed, probably fired or maybe killed.
But it was recorded sometime in 1983.
Here's Aztec Camera.
There we go, that was Aztec Camera with Walkout to Winter recorded live here at the BBC at some point in 1983.
He slightly jazzed it up there, that one, didn't he?
He had a little bit of a kind of restaurant tinkle in the middle, a kind of Pizza Express moment there.
A very nice one, though.
Tinkly Winkly from Roddy.
That must have been close to when he actually recorded the track for real.
He actually made it up then.
Do you reckon?
Yeah, that was the first time he played it.
Yeah, because his voice is so similar to the actual track, do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So that's good.
That's a lovely little piece of melodicism there.
This is Adam and Joe, by the way, on BBC Six Music.
We're filling in for Sean W. Keevney.
for the next two weeks coming up to the end of our first hour here yeah it's four minutes to eight just in case you need a time check in case you're you're you're leaving for work or you're late maybe to pick up grandma to take her to the swimming pool for her therapy swimming session she's getting old and the floatiness of the water eases her pain
Yeah, she loves it.
Coming up in the second hour, Joe, I want to chat to you about a few advertising logic holes.
Ah!
You know?
Are you someone... I mean, everyone enjoys doing this, don't they?
Just spotting advertising logic holes, particularly commercials on television.
Yes, there are a lot of them about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I want to... Advertising is lies!
Is it?
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
I'll explain to you, you know, during the next record.
OK, this is exciting.
Also, I've got a few things that I chopped out from the papers over the summer.
Is the summer over?
No, there's going to be a second summer, listeners.
Who says?
I do.
It's what happens every year in Britain.
You get a bit of summer at the beginning.
Yeah.
and then you get a really horrible rainy period then you get a bit of late summer right in September because for a while there it was going pretty well you know and and you were thinking yes the global warming is kicking in and everything's getting cozy and then it now it's just gone down the laugh yeah so anyway all this uh all this exciting kind of chat still to come uh here on the show folks but now lisa i've confused myself which one are we gonna play now
Super Furry Animals.
Okay, there you go.
Excellent.
Is this a new one?
Yes.
Excellent.
Show Your Hand by the Super Furry Animals.
The Super Furry Animals there with Show Your Hand.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music.
Now it's time for the news.
Who's reading the news today, Adam?
Adrian is reading the good news.
Halfie's dealing with the bad news.
What an enormously appropriate choice of song.
Yeah, because... Yeah.
Why?
Get this.
Get this.
What's the name of that song?
Hanging on the telephone.
Yeah, right.
And we've got a caller.
hanging on the telephone yeah to play uh something called serial thriller which is a segment we've inherited from sean w kevney who's gone off on holiday to italy i believe but we've got dave in east london on the line hello dave hey how you doing good how are you doing mate i'm pretty pretty chappy for a monday morning yeah especially such a miserable one you're on the train right
How's the behaviour on the train this morning, Dave?
Have you got any school children playing tinny MP3s on their mobile phones?
No, I'm just walking to work at the moment, so trying to avoid the traffic.
Wait, how come I thought he was on the train?
No, no, no.
Walking on the way to work.
Quite busy roads around.
Really?
Well, you take care.
Don't go running out into the road.
And if you're kicking a football and it rolls into the road, then look carefully before you step out.
I'll make sure I do.
That's good advice, Joe.
So, Dave, in this segment, we're kind of new, too, because obviously we're just filling in here.
Can you explain what the logic is?
I don't basically just pay two songs whilst you go and get your breakfast.
Right, and we get some breakfast.
You have something decent and hearty for your breakfast.
Cereal thriller.
It's spelt like bowl of cereal.
Wow, you see?
This is good.
And so you've chosen two tracks, Dave?
I have, yeah.
Are they long ones?
Because I like to go to a particular restaurant in Spain for breakfast.
I don't think you can make that.
I think one's about three or four minutes, the other one's getting into a round of five plus minutes, I think.
It should be a good time for you.
Dave, you've gone for Stone Roses and Nirvana.
Explain your choices.
You haven't gone for the obvious Stone Roses choice.
Well, I went to a party the other weekend, got back at about four in the morning, quite drunk, and kind of pulled these CDs out and heard the ones, realised they're really good tunes, so I thought I'd email them in, so give them a radio.
Yeah, you've gone for a Stone Roses track from the second... Second Coming album.
Yeah.
Love Spreads you've gone for.
That's it, yeah.
And which is the Nirvana track?
It's called Serve the Servants.
It's their first track of the commuter album.
So this is just a complete belter, so...
That's worth listening to.
Well, good work, Dave.
You don't win anything, of course, because that's illegal.
I know.
But, you know, we'll just send you happy thoughts.
Brilliant.
Is that brilliant?
Can I just say, though, Dave, that the scene you described before, when you returned home, inebriated, it sounds like you might be a disgrace.
A disgraceful person.
Some people would probably say that, yeah.
So why don't you send us something to make up for it?
Exactly.
What are you going to send us?
Hello, Dave.
Hello.
Hello, are you alright?
Yeah, I'm just avoiding cars still.
Are you in the road now?
I'm just getting onto the pavement again.
Well done mate, yeah, cars on the road, people on the pavement.
Here we go, so why don't you introduce your first track Dave, and then we won't have to bother.
Well the first track is it, the Nirvana track.
It's going to be the Stone Roses.
Thanks, Dave.
Hey, thanks a lot for calling in and don't forget listeners.
You can do a very shame.
We'll give you the details after the first of Dave's tracks.
Cheers, Dave.
Cheers.
What a messy ending to that record.
That's disappointing, isn't it?
Who was that?
You would have thought they would have cleaned it up a little bit.
Was that who was that?
That was Nirvana.
That's typical of them.
Yeah.
Are they on drugs or something?
Hey guys, guys, that was good.
The ending was a little bit ragged.
It was just messy.
Why don't we do it again?
One more time.
Come on chaps.
You know, be positive and let's all go out on a... all at the same time in the end.
What about that?
That's what the producers should have said.
They're too cool.
They just need a decent producer and they could have been really an impressive fan.
A success.
Yeah.
This is Adam and Joe on Six Music.
We're here filling in for Sean W. Kievny for the next couple of weeks.
It's time for our record of the week.
Not our record of the week, but Adam's record of the week.
Well, this is a single that's coming out this week, isn't that right, Lisa?
Now, is this real?
Have you genuinely chosen this as your favourite record of the week?
Or has it been kind of forced upon you by a powerful and secretive cabal of record industry manipulators?
No, I don't think so, because the record of the week, correct me if I'm wrong Lisa, is a single that happens to be coming out that week, right?
Which is chosen, or a band.
Right.
Or around, I see, yeah.
And it's chosen by the show to be played, so it's a happy coincidence that my favourite band, pretty much ever, Spoon, from Austin, Texas, happened to be releasing a single, I think the first single from their new album, Ga-ga-ga-ga.
One, two, three, four, no.
Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Is there a difference between four gaars and five gaars?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Slightly less articulate baby.
Well, no, it's just a determination to say gaars.
Really?
Increased, yeah.
You might accidentally say ga, ga, ga, ga, but ga, ga, ga, ga, ga.
That's very different.
That's a real state of intent.
Anyway, it's an amazing album and they're a fantastic band.
I've liked them for so long and they're, like, weirdly underrated in this country.
I don't know why, if their sound is, sort of, not fashionable in some way.
Maybe they're a bit too arty for the popsters and a bit too poppy for the artsters.
I don't know what.
but they're really good if you if you want in the spoon camp then get in because it's fun here we're having a good time there's lots of good music spoon cakes and little spoon drinks were having i went to see them playing at the borderline last week
and they were amazing.
One of the best gigs shot into my top five best gigs ever.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd never been to the borderline before.
What an amazing venue.
It's like, um, uh, where is it?
It's, it's sort of around Denmark street kind of area.
Uh, and it's, it's just really small, a couple of hundred people maybe.
And it looks like a sort of Texan bar.
So it was appropriate for the Spooners, you know, sort of Tex-Mex type joint.
And, uh, it was really small, the sound was brilliant, and it totally suited their sort of stripped-down, muscular, uh, indie pop sound.
But they've got a real funky edge to them as well.
Anyway, this single of theirs, which is called The Underdog, I think is produced by John Bryan.
Um, so it's unusual for them.
John Bryan did a lot of, uh, really good film music for people.
I think he did, uh, music for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless.
Really?
That's a good film.
Yeah, very good film.
Yeah.
And I think he used to be in a band with... Oh, no, the trail is coming up next, I'm being told.
Okay, so we'll play the track after the trail, but I'm just sort of setting it up a little bit more.
Probably more than I need to.
Tell us about the trail.
Who was the trail produced by?
The trail was produced by Toby Harris.
Really?
What film music has he done?
He's done the music for the... He did the music for the Magic Roundabout CDI.
Two... And have you seen this trail live?
It's amazing.
I saw it in the trail box.
Near Denmark Street.
Really, wow.
It's brilliant to see trails performed live, but here's a pre-recorded trail.
There you go.
That was good though, wasn't it?
That was a great trail.
Can you imagine seeing that live?
Yeah, it really had a funky edge to it.
But really good no, but anyway, so sorry I was rambling about spoon before and we're gonna play this just played a spoon No, but I just want to say it's unusual for the album.
It's not typical of the album really Yeah, cuz it's got these sort of horn sections in it and stuff
So I'm saying, I don't know exactly what I'm saying.
What are you saying?
I don't know what I'm saying.
What's the matter with you?
What I'm saying is it's really good, but if for some reason it wasn't your taste, that shouldn't put you off buying the album.
Right, right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
We get it.
Let's hear this spoon and talk further after it.
Alright.
A much better ending than the Nirvana song.
It's still a weird ending, that one, I must say.
A lot of their endings are a little odd.
But that's The Underdog by Spoon from their fantastic album, Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Hey, and thanks listeners who've texted us, Karen in Somerset says, this is an amazing song.
I love it.
Well done, boys.
Thanks very much.
We can't really take credit for actually creating the song.
Oh, we can in a way.
Which bit did you do?
I did the ending, the drums and the horn.
That's my least favourite bit.
Is it?
Definitely a favourite bit.
Well, you're not a very nice man.
Is that what you're going to be back with?
Yeah.
Well, I should thank everyone who's texted us.
If you want to text us, it's 64046.
We love getting texts.
Seriously, I particularly, Joe Cornish, I love getting texts.
You love texts, don't you?
I just love them.
They make me tingly all over.
You like texting as well, then?
I do like texting.
If he had your number, listener, Joe would be texting you right now.
Yeah.
Because he absolutely loves it.
Oh my God, lol.
What's up?
That kind of thing.
Ruffle.
ruffle all that kind of business and you can email us Adam and Jo all one word dot six music at BBC dot co dot UK we lit we read and yeah just read in fact all texts and emails just a final word on spoon if you enjoyed that and I do encourage you to investigate further they played the hub on Gideon's show last Thursday here on six music and you can the hub is just a stylish BBC six word for a room
It's a room.
It's a room with a... It doesn't even really have a stage.
The stage is only elevated a couple of inches from the floor.
It's got some microphones in it.
That's what qualifies it as a hub.
And bands have scribbled all over the wall in a way that would get them detention at school, but for some reason gets them, you know, praised here at BBC Six Music.
You can listen again to that spoon session at, uh, bbc.co.uk forward slash six music.
I'll be doing that this evening.
And if you want to investigate even further, the world of spoon, you can go to my website, Adam dash Buxton dot co dot UK, where you will say a video that I just made for the band for no reason whatsoever.
Like I didn't get commissioned to do the video.
I don't know the band.
So you've done it voluntarily.
Just did it as a fan.
I'm going to watch it on your internet during this next.
Are we going to the news next, Lisa?
Calvin Harris next.
Calvin Harris next.
Yeah, so why don't we have Calvin Harris right now.
This is called Merry Making at My Place.
That's Calvin Harris with Merry Making at My Place.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
It's time for a news update.
Who's reading the news, Adam?
Two of my favourite news readers, Adrian and Harvey.
They're brilliant.
Hooray, that was the pigeon detectives with Take Her Back.
It's a miserable Monday morning on Six Music.
No, it's miserable outside of Six Music.
It's not miserable on Six Music.
Wait, about the pigeon detectives, are they actually pigeons employed to investigate, you know, certain cases?
Or are they just detectives involved with... I've no idea, man.
Tracking down pigeons.
Where does that name come from?
Is that some kind of detective novel?
We don't know.
We're going to do some research into that anyway.
We're Adam and Joe.
I'm Joe Cornish.
Who are you?
I'm Adam and Joe.
Yeah.
We're here on 6 Music.
You can text us on 64046 or email us at AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
In a second, we are going to have a kind of a test.
It's not a competition.
No, no, no, no, no, because we're not allowed to do them.
It's a test of Adam's movie knowledge.
And you at home can listen into this test, and you can test each other at home.
Yeah?
We're going to be playing you a clip of a DVD commentary.
It's going to be a director and star team.
And this is a clip taken from their commentary over their latest movie.
They're a couple of kind of idiots.
They sort of know it.
and enjoy it.
And basically, you at home can guess amongst yourselves who they are.
And Adam, you're going to guess here in the studio, aren't you?
What's the name of this feature?
It's called the Crap Commentary Corner.
Are you sure you can say that word?
The C word?
Yeah.
Because I think you can.
Can we, Lisa?
Here's why.
We're not sure.
We think it's
We think it's wavering there.
It's on the cusp.
Maybe we should change its name right now.
It's live on air.
Well, I was going to say... The Cruddy Commentary Corner.
How about that?
I don't know.
The Cruddy Commentary Corner.
Well, I was going to say that it's surely okay because I was watching this TV ad the other day.
It's for a breakdown company, and it stars Vinnie Jones, and he's driving through the countryside in a Rolls Royce.
I heard that ad first.
A gold Rolls Royce, yeah, and he's got what I presume is his daughter in there.
She's dressed up like a little fairy princess.
And first of all, Vinnie in the Rolls Royce gets stuck behind a tractor whilst going through the countryside.
Oh, no, he gets annoyed.
Blumey neck.
Blumey, oh, oh, oh, bottle bank.
And then he gets stuck behind a load of sheep,
before he breaks down in his Rolls-Royce.
I know this advert, and kind of the scenario invites him to swear, doesn't it?
Yeah, exactly.
Because Vinnie's the king of swearing, right?
He swears better than anybody in Britain.
Oh, that's the point!
That's the point.
He is the... Why, were you confused about it?
I was confused, because the... He's like the poet laureate, but for swearing.
Right, and he stops himself swearing, I'm so thick, I don't get any of these things.
And then basically what happens is that finally the roller breaks down and he phones up the emergency services and they say, whereabouts are you so we can come and get you?
He looks around for a sign, he says, I'm in a village of, and then the sign he sees says, crap stone.
Which is a real village.
Yeah, right.
Is it?
I think it must be.
And then he looks at his daughter and he thinks, you know, I can't say crap stone.
So he says, gingerly, I have no idea.
But what is the logic?
You can't say.
He can't pollute his little fairy princesses mind with such foul words.
Even if it's part of a legitimate town.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, it's one of those difficult situations that parents find themselves in when driving through small villages.
But crap.
Is that- Don't say it again!
That's one of the problem ones.
That's the same reason we can't say it on BBC Six Music.
The Queen's favourite music channel is the same reason why Vinny has confusion over it.
So he can't say a word like crap even if it's part- You said it again!
Even if it's part of a place name or another word.
We're not gonna be here tomorrow morning.
Crapstone, he can't even say that.
No, he can't.
You did it four times.
So what does he do when he wants to set off for a drive in the countryside?
I'm just starting.
Shall we play some music?
Here's Basement Jacks.
There we go, that's Basement Jacks with Good Luck.
She's saying, good luck, good luck, good luck in the loo there.
I don't think so.
No.
Her name is Lisa Quechua La.
Quechua La.
Quechua La.
Quechua La.
And that is a very cleverly designed record by Basement Jacks because it'll be played when anyone has a leaving party from their job.
Or if they... Good luck, good luck.
And that's going to bring them in a lot of dough, a lot of revenue, and that's all Basement Jacks care about.
Yeah.
Money.
Good luck.
Good luck in the loo there.
Watch out when you poo there.
No!
No.
That's a bad word.
Alright.
Hello listeners.
Happy Monday morning.
This is BBC Six Music where Adam and Joe filling in for Sean W Keevney for the next two weeks and it's a test time.
We can't call it a competition, no.
It's kind of a test and it has nothing to do with any kind of competitiveness at all.
I'm going to play Adam a clip from a DVD commentary
from a recently released film and this clip features the director and lead actor making fools of themselves.
Adam, yeah, what?
How easy is this one?
This is pretty easy.
Because sometimes you can pick these things out and they're very obscure.
Yeah, but people always get them.
I have enormous faith in our listenership, listeners out there.
I think their knowledge of movies and music is vast and highly informed.
Okay.
You know, this is a BBC audience, they're clever people.
And listeners at home, if you want to help Adam, give him some suggestions as to what this might be, then feel free.
That's Mr Bean Toe.
How'd you book Mr Bean Toe?
Well, it's disgusting.
I ain't seen it.
I ain't seen it.
That took six million quid on its opening weekend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the thing is, people want to go to the cinemas these days.
They just don't want to think.
They just do not want to think.
They just want to sit there, numb, for two hours or however long it is.
They do not want to be provoked into a reaction.
Six millions, don't we?
Well, we were in the wrong game, didn't we?
There we go, there's clip number one.
Yeah, text 64046 if you want to help Adam figure out who that is.
Although I've got a pretty good idea about at least one of those.
Really?
Yeah.
What about Lisa, our lovely producer?
Do you know who that is?
haven't got a clue.
It's a recently released film, didn't do so well at the cinema, but did very well on video.
And this writer and actor combo are famous for their filth-ridden commentaries.
Yeah, they're good value commentaries.
Yeah, the commentaries are almost better than the films, in some cases.
So let's hear the second clip from this mystery actor and director combo.
Give your listeners a little spin on your American accent there.
Okay, erm, erm, what do you want me to say?
I can, I can do the American accent, I can do it a little bit here, I can, how does that sound?
Does that sound okay?
No, no, no, do the American one.
Not Welsh, right?
No, that's American.
Not too Welsh, do American.
No, that's American mother.
Father.
Erm, erm.
No, that's not good to me about either of them.
You'll be alright, you'll crack on out.
Listen, at the end of the day, every British person out there is cracking on, you know what I mean?
Good climate out there.
Well, Staphon can, Staphon can do it, you know, I feel confident.
Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
I think we should go to a trail and a track before we find out whether you can guess that one.
There's a little clue in there though, isn't it, Statham?
That's presumably Jason Statham there talking about.
Yeah, but he's not in the film.
No.
He's not in the film they're talking about.
If you want to help Adam figure out who that is, remember text 64046.
Here's a bit of a trail while you think.
This is eardrum bust by wire you're listening to Adam and joe on bbc6 music we're in the middle of playing cruddy commentary corner our kind of game that we play here in the studio where i play adam a clip from the audio commentary of a dvd of a popular new film and he has to figure out who is talking on it
Yeah, I think I've got a fairly, fairly good idea.
Now, a couple of listeners have texted in with suggestions to help Adam.
We got to thank Julian in Paddington and Ollie as well.
Shall we hear a third clip of these goons before we see if you've got it right, Adam Buxton?
Yeah.
So let's hear clip number three of this writer and no, this actor and director combo.
You know, I'm off.
I'm gonna do a film about a morph.
You know, I'm thinking that might get me somewhere.
What are you?
Tony Hart, Take Hart.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, I'm serious.
The thing about morph is, how are you gonna offend anyone?
Why are you laughing?
Tell you what, kids, that's what... The image of morph learning about the big answer.
Could be my future, doing morphs, you know what I mean?
There we go.
So, who is that Gooney director and star combination?
Okay.
Well, I think I'm pretty sure that one of them, at least, is Danny Dyer.
Danny Dyer?
The actor well-known for popping up in ladish roles in films like Football Factory, was he in?
Correct.
The Business?
Correct.
He hosts a show about football yobs on Sky.
Does he?
Yeah.
called The Real Football Factory.
Oh, it's on Bravo, maybe.
He was in Severance as well.
Severance?
I haven't seen Severance.
Yeah, I try to watch Severance.
There's a number of his films I haven't seen.
And then, so that's the actor.
Who's the director?
Well, I'm assuming that's Nick Love there, who directed him.
He's kind of the Scorsese to Danny Dyer's De Niro.
Yes.
And they often team up in films.
They were in the business.
And the most recent one,
which I'm assuming this comes from was the sort of jaw-droppingly reactionary sort of revenge fantasy.
What was it called?
It's called Outlaw.
Outlaw with Sean Dean.
And that is the correct answer.
to the game, the test, that was indeed Nick Love and Danny Dyer from the commentary of Outlaw.
And even if you don't like their films, listeners, I do recommend you get that out and have a listen to the commentary.
I spent hours lifting the swear words out of that, right?
It is the most sweary and aggressive DVD commentary in history, and they pretty much go through most of the critics who were negative about
their film by name yeah and explain what they'll do to them if they ever meet them and explain in in with very blue language exactly why they're wrong about their brilliant film yeah yeah yeah and you know i'm slightly on their side really you like outlaw i don't i wouldn't say i like it but i don't think it's necessary necessarily the sort of postulant load of rubbish that that people think it is well it's pretty morally reprehensible i would say yeah it's it's it's a fantasy
Yeah.
It's not supposed to be real, I think that's the idea, but it's pretty horrible to watch.
Well, it's not supposed to be real, but there are a number of long speeches in it which are supposed to stir you.
Have you seen it?
Yes.
Yeah.
Which are supposed to stir you into thinking, yeah, I've got a point about sort of the state of Britain and what you should do to sort it out.
I learnt a lot of new Cockney rhyming slang as well from listening to it.
None of which we'll be able to hear this morning, aren't they?
No, you won't.
Can we get away with Cockney rhyming slang?
I wouldn't imagine.
Nah, I can't get away with anything.
Anyway, that was our little game.
And we gotta say thanks very much there to Julian in Paddington and Ollie who, if there wasn't a national competition crisis, would win something, but because of the ongoing crisis, and all the lives at stake and stuff, they can't.
What would we have given them?
Uh, a pile of CDs?
I would have- no, here's what I would have given them.
What?
A TV.
A TV?
Yeah, a plasma television.
Really?
1080p or 1080i?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah?
And also I would have given them a flight.
I would have given them an Xbox 360 Elite.
Would you?
Yeah.
Uh, a special Halo 3 edition.
Right.
Yeah, with like a etching of Master Chief on the front.
And I would have given them a copy of Crackdown.
Is that Ainsley Harriet?
What, MasterChef?
That's a different game.
That's not even Ainsley Harriet, though, on MasterChef, is it?
Hey, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
Is it time for some more Six Music?
Coming up to the end of our second day, we've got one hour to go, and I still have a few advertising logic holes that I wish to discuss.
Brilliant.
There's something to look forward to.
And now it's time.
What have we got next?
Have we got a bit of gossip?
Yeah, with jealous girls.
That's editors.
Hey, hey, shush.
Oh, Lisa, you cut it out.
There was monk action there.
There was a bit of a monastic action.
The monks just suddenly stopped.
That track was called An End Has a Start.
I want you to think about that, Joe, for five seconds.
Okay.
Done it.
There you go.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6 Music filling in for Sean Kievny.
Now, Joe, I was talking about strange advertising phenomena earlier on.
Here's something else that I found quite by chance.
I was going to talk about an ad for kind of washing powder, concentrate, liquid, whatever.
Yeah, you see, we can't say the brand names here on 6 Music, can we?
No.
So you have to describe them in a roundabout way.
Yeah.
And in the course of doing a little bit of research for this, trying to find the ad online and stuff, I came across this website called... I probably... I can't even say the name of the website, can I probably?
But it's a website where you can put product reviews for things, right?
It calls itself a shopping intelligence website.
OK, so members of the public like review products and you can sort of cross-reference what people think about things.
Yeah, exactly.
And it appears that real members of the public, mainly ladies, has to be said, have put these incredibly in-depth reviews for things like washing powder on this website.
Sounds good.
And here I'm going to quote for you now what appears to be a genuine customer review from this website, which features product reviews from members of the public.
This one is for a well-known fabric conditioner, right?
Mm-hmm.
But I've changed the brand name
to waft.
W-O-F-T.
So, you know, so as to avoid any kind of legal punishment.
And as you'll see, it's quite a passionate and in-depth confessional that this lady has written about this fabric conditioner.
I am a real stickler for my washing to smell nice.
So believe me, I've tried and tested many fabric conditioners in my time.
I love my clothes to smell clean and that of my kids.
I can't stand them to smell of nothing.
About two months ago, I could not get my usual fabric conditioner.
Well, I nearly had a heart attack and a paddy in the store right there and then.
What's a paddy?
It's like a heart attack.
Right.
It was like a fix to me and I needed it.
Anyway, rather than throw myself on the floor having a tantrum, I scoured the shelves for another and I happened to come across waft warm wind.
I made that name up.
Fabric conditioner.
I twisted the cap off with anticipation and sniffed for England.
I was pleasantly surprised.
It was not one that I had tried, as when I find one I like, I tend to stick with it.
So I decided to take a risk and buy it, hoping and praying that it would smell as good on the clothes as it did in the bottle.
Anyway, as soon as I got home, I decided to give it a try and threw a load in the washing machine with new waft, warm wind, made up name, conditioner.
After a long wait, I pulled the clothes out of the machine, and the smell hit me straight away.
It was gorgeous.
I was very impressed, but I still had to wait for the clothes to dry to see if the smell stayed within the clothes, as most of the time it tends to disappear after the clothes are dry.
Are you relating to this, Joe?
Yeah, kind of.
Yeah.
as well as the clothes sometimes feeling like cardboard.
When the clothes were dry, the smell was still there, and all the clothes were lovely and soft with the gorgeous smell still attached.
Woo-hoo!
I found another one!
And then she goes on for quite a long time to list a number of bits of practical information.
She breaks down the merits of various different fragrances on offer in the waft range.
For example, she says, the waft warm wind, made up name, conditioner, is a lovely yellow colour and smells exactly like a summer day walking through a meadow of flowers.
That's the best I can explain it.
It's such a lovely smell, and so fresh.
And she seems, and she goes on and on and on.
And I was thinking, this surely must be written by the people who work for WAFT.
Yeah, it's an inside job.
But it's not.
But it's not.
It's not, because I, later on, she said if, that she, she goes on to talk about some other WAFT products, and she says, you know, it's overpriced, and you should avoid this particular one, and I'm only going for WAFT, warm wind.
It's just extraordinary.
Isn't it amazing that people like that exist?
Well, I was just thinking, what would this lady have done before the internet?
You know, would she have just written all her thoughts down and handed them out on the street?
Would you like to know what I think about Waft Warm Wind?
I've written an essay about it, and here you can have it.
It's free.
Take it away with you.
Probably because she sounds mentally upset, doesn't she?
I mean, she's going around supermarkets sniffing bottles, sniffing them for England.
Yeah.
And then she's praying to God about detergent.
Yeah.
What is the great God going to think about those prayers?
I'm sure we can mention the name of the website, can't we?
It's called Chow.
There you go.
It's called Chow.
And it's got loads of customer reviews.
They're pretty enjoyable reading, folks, let me tell you.
Why not go and check them out and add your own?
There's a lot of people out there who are mad, who are insane.
and you can join them.
Right now, we've got a free play.
I chose this one myself, folks, music-wise.
This is a track from one of the best albums to come out so far this year by a wonderful band, The Shins.
The album is called Whinsing the Night Away, and this is one of the best tracks on it.
It's called Sealeggs.
There we go, that was, uh, that was, hey, you better tell us what that was, Adam, because I don't know the difference between the name of the track and the name of the band.
That was a band called Iron and Wine with a track called Boy with a Coin, and, uh, they're a great band, and I love a bit of Iron and Wine, you know.
Who doesn't?
Not just to listen to, but as a snack.
Hey, thanks to everyone who's been texting us.
We got quite a lot of texts now.
We were a bit worried early in the show.
I wasn't worried.
You're obsessed with texts.
I love texts.
I'd just like to know that someone's listening.
Yeah.
And that, you know, somebody might be enjoying our waffle.
But people can listen without automatically having to text.
It's the 90s, Adam.
It's all about interactivity.
Come on, wake up and smell the digital...
Um, yeah, and you can text us on 64046, uh, if you want.
Now, you know Harry Potter?
Yeah, I do.
I know him very well.
And you know the joke about his wand?
Well, no.
Well, you know, like, every lame journalist in the world makes a joke about Harry Potter's wand.
Okay.
I can imagine, yeah.
And how many Harry Potter films have there been?
Five?
Something like that.
And so, you know, you would have thought Harry Potter wand jokes would be kind of exhausted, wouldn't you?
Yeah, well... Don't you think?
It's like Santa's sack, though, isn't it?
You think it's perennial?
Yeah, it's always going to be a sore spot.
I would have thought if you walked onto the Harry Potter set and made a wand-based joke, you wouldn't get much response.
No, surely not.
Especially after Daniel Radcliffe, the young lad who plays Harry Potter, has appeared on the West End stage in Equus in The Nude.
And given a masterful performance, apparently.
Imagine how many Harry Potter's won jokes were made while that was on stage.
A lot.
Seven.
A lot.
Every publication making Harry Potter's won jokes.
Yeah.
Which is why I was very surprised when I opened up the American magazine Entertainment Weekly and read a set report from the new Harry Potter film and read the following.
And this is a little glimpse of life on the set of the new Harry Potter film.
A few hours later, Oldman has nailed his scene and begins bantering naughtily with his cast mates.
Have you noticed, he asks Jason Isaacs, how long my wand is?
Yes, Isaacs volleys back.
It expands when it's warm, doesn't it?
Radcliffe listens and grins broadly.
Can you believe that exchange actually happened on the set of a Harry Potter film?
After 15 years of one-jokes, Oldman decides that's the funniest thing he can come up with.
Isaac's laughs at it!
Well, they may be... And then Radcliffe, after months on the stage naked, enduring comments about his wand.
It says... Grins broadly.
He grins broadly.
That could mean anything, though.
He's probably just... What's Radcliffe thinking in size?
Thinking, oh, yeah, for goodness sake.
Come on, old man.
I've put up with this for years.
Mind you, I tell you why he's grinning.
Yeah.
Because of the amount of money he's got.
Right.
He's just constantly grinning.
In fact, the director has trouble making him stop grinning for the dramatic scenes.
He can't believe it.
Yeah.
The amount of money he's made.
He deserves all of it.
My God.
And the fact that in those films, he's kind of popular in school, because let's face it, in any normal school, Harry Potter would be an outcast.
Mm-hmm.
A terrible, tortured, bullied nerd.
Why?
Because he's a nerd.
Right.
Yeah.
But he's got magic powers, though, and that makes him cool.
Magic money powers.
He's a celebrity.
He's got a magical wallet.
Listen, he's a good guy.
He is a great guy.
My son loves him, and he's turned my son on to the idea of reading the Harry Potter books.
Has he?
And, you know, it's a wonderful, rewarding magical world.
There's a lot worse than Potter out there, let me tell you.
Yeah?
For children.
Why don't they think of a new story?
Why?
What's your- for the films?
I have, it's the same story!
Just a new teacher, the guy you think is evil is, and Voldemort turns up, nearly kills him, doesn't... It's the same every time.
You're obsessed, isn't it?
Here's a little insight into Joe Cornish's listeners.
When we're not on air, it's pretty much all he talks about.
He just rants about Harry Potter and takes the mix out of it, and says things like, Harry Potter!
Harry Potter.
That's all they say in Harry Potter.
And that's what he says.
He says, that's all they say.
Harry Potter.
He goes on and on about it.
That's all they say in Harry Potter.
And everyone's like, yeah, Joe.
Okay.
Anyway, so, but you know, that's all they say.
Harry Potter.
But my one comment was good, wasn't it?
Come on.
I like all your Harry Potter comments.
I'm not.
Harry Potter?
Harry Potter?
Potter?
Harry Potter?
I can't take any more of it, audience.
I stopped seeing them.
Okay, music time.
It's... it's... rhythm digital time, ladies and gentlemen.
Harry Potter.
There we go, there's the beat with Hands Off, She's Mine.
This is Adam and Joe on 6 Music, filling in for Sean W. Keveney in the last 20 minutes of our show.
I've got a little question for you, Joe, about minicab etiquette.
Right.
It's probably taxi etiquette as a whole, isn't it?
When you're in a car, a minicab...
Probably minicab car, stroke, you know, more than a black cab, I'm saying.
Right.
Because there's not the big dividing window.
Yeah, yeah.
And the guy is playing music fairly loudly, his choice of music, either a CD or the radio or whatever.
What's your rights there?
What's the right situation as far as asking him to turn it down or turn it off?
You know, I mean, because you are paying the fare off.
Yeah, I'd say that, as a paying customer, you had every right to ask him to turn the music down.
Right, right, right.
Have you tried to do that?
Well, no, I always feel intimidated about it.
And I got a phone call from someone the other day, and they were in the back of a cab, and they're trying to speak to me, and while they were speaking to me, the guy put on his music incredibly loudly, and it just got louder and louder throughout the phone call until I could hear my friend saying, sorry, could you turn the music down a little bit?
And, uh, I could hear the music dipping for about three seconds and then it came right back up again and the guy just wasn't having it.
And I thought that's, yeah, it's difficult, isn't it?
Because the other thing is if somebody else is paying for the journey, right?
If they've sent a car for you, there's, I sometimes definitely get a vibe off the guy like you've got no rights because you're not paying for this journey.
So I'm going to do exactly what I like in the back of my, you know, in my car and you can deal with it.
This is my domain.
Well, I wouldn't take it.
Yeah.
I'd assert your rights.
What would you say?
Make him turn it down.
I'd say, I'd say, excuse me, can you turn that down?
Yeah.
And then what might he say?
He'd say, you're not even paying for this, you, you long man.
I'm, uh, this is my car and I'll do what I like.
You, you're, I hate you.
I'd say, stop the car.
Stop the car, pull over, stop the car.
Stop the car.
Yeah, like that, a bit like a Dalek.
Stop the car.
Stop the car.
Uh, alright.
And then I'd fight him in the street.
With you?
Yeah, bare-knuckled.
Wait, do you get into, ah, cos I, you know what I'm like, I, I, I, I usually cycle everywhere, and when I don't, uh, when I'm forced to take a taxi or whatever, if it's raining, almost invariably I get into some kind of contra-ton, and it's, it's a nightmare.
It's a contra-ton?
It's got a bit of a bit of you on the tongue.
Anyway, listen, it's time for a track from the album of the day, uh, which is Richard Hawley's album, Ladies Bridge.
Is that rude?
It's got to be rude.
It must be rude.
A Lady's Bridge?
Don't dwell on it.
This track is called Serious.
The album's out today, album shopping fans.
And Richard joins Mark Riley on his show this Wednesday from 7 in the evening.
And you can hear further tracks from this album throughout the day.
Here's Richard Hawley with Lady's Bridge.
That's Richard Hawley, and that track is called Serious, and the album is called Ladies Bridge, and Susie has texted us to say that Ladies Bridge is a Sheffield landmark, so it is not a part of a Ladies Anatomy.
It's trail time.
Grappries from his album Candy Line, that was Cycle of Violence, and that was a kind of a free play from me, Joe, so if you liked that track, then you probably liked me, and we'd probably get on quite well.
And maybe we should look up.
Yeah, what if they didn't like it?
Well then, let's just call it a day, I mean, let's just move on and... Forget about it.
Yeah, I think we're quite different, really.
What kind of things would absolutely put you off a person, like...
If someone listed a load of music that they didn't like or a load of that you didn't like.
I think the most off-putting thing in a person is if they don't clean their house they just use Febreze on the whole place.
I think that would probably be my number one thing and then once they've put it on they sniff it.
Yeah, and really enjoy the smell.
That's the same kind of person maybe that thinks that putting their socks in the tumble dryer is as good as washing them.
Really?
Yeah.
That's a good tip and just warming them up.
Blasting them.
Steaming them.
Just giving them a glass.
Steaming the socks.
It's like what you do with vegetables to keep the nutrients in.
Right, give them a little steam.
Yeah, give them a steam.
So listen, we've had a complaint come in via email that we're not reading out any emails.
That's true, isn't it?
And that this is a bit rude to our listeners who've bothered to email.
So here are some emails.
Hi, Adam and Joe, my name is Connor.
Today I'm up early just to listen to you two.
You should feel special because I have nothing else to do today.
Maybe you could suggest some things.
I'll do the same for your show.
Adam, talk about Grindhouse film.
The Grindhouse film by Tarantino.
I don't really understand it, but I want to know more.
Joe, do an impression of Cher by gargling water and singing at the same time.
I'm available on my mobile if you are ringing anyone of the show.
I'd love to speak to you about all sorts of chum.
That's what they feed sharks.
And he's left his mobile phone number.
That's a very... Yeah?
What are we going to do?
Are we going to respond or...?
No, we're just going to read them out.
Here's another one.
Hi Adam and Joe been enjoying the always entertaining, inaneous banter.
Please could you do a banter on some new films?
What are rubbish?
Tar, Paul from Glasgow.
P.S.
I thought your spoon video was excellent, Adam.
Hey, thanks a lot, Paul.
I appreciate that.
Here's an email from Emily.
She says something similar.
She says, welcome to Six Music.
That's nice.
Thanks, Emily.
I'm so excited you're going to be here for two weeks.
You might not be so excited after two weeks.
After two days, yeah.
I was just wondering if either of you have seen Waitress yet, and if so, what you thought of it?
No, neither of us have seen it, unfortunately, Emily.
I went to see it, though, she says, and I thought it was so awful it made me feel sad.
good luck with the show that makes me kind of want to go and see it and uh see what you're talking about though emily and i'll do my best before the two weeks are up yeah all right anything else no that's pretty much the only ones we've had printed out can you do an impression of share while gargling yeah what's a share song i believe in life after love
That's an impression of Cher gargling.
That's what she does there.
Yeah, exactly.
But she doesn't hit her neck in a dangerous way.
I think she probably did in the studio.
You can injure yourself, man.
And the other thing he wanted us to do was... Oh, talk about Grindhouse.
Well, you've seen Grindhouse.
I've seen Grindhouse.
Yeah, I saw Grindhouse in Los Angeles.
Did you?
With Quentin Tarantino himself.
Nice bit of name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Nice.
I'm leaving name droppings all over the studio.
You certainly are.
But yeah, I enjoyed it very much.
What's the question?
Well, he just wanted to react about it.
He wants it explained.
It is extraordinary.
You saw it in its original double bill form.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because in the UK it's been split into two separate films, is that right?
Maybe we should talk, I don't feel I can talk about it in a succinct way.
I think maybe the emailer should maybe, you know, whittle down the question a bit more precisely.
Well, we don't necessarily have to be super succinct at this moment, do we?
Do we?
No.
I went to see a screening of it also in its original form the other day.
I don't know if you've seen this, folks, but it's a film that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have made, or rather two films.
Robert Rodriguez has made one called, what was it called?
It's called Planet Terror.
Planet Terror and Tarantino's contribution is called Death Proof.
And they're sort of nominally in the style of kind of early 80s, late 70s exploitation.
I'll tell you the key behind it.
If you're a friend of Quentin Tarantino, he has a private cinema in his house and he has his own projectionist.
And he's got a collection of about 300 prints.
and on weekends he has kind of movie nights and he'll have friends around at his cinema and he'll show a couple of ancient classics and he'll run old trailers before them because he's got a big collection of trailers as well and before them he'll show that little piece of film that they have before Kill Bill and Planet Terry, you know the one that goes
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
Yeah.
But the weird thing about it, though, is they sort of abandon that, don't they?
Especially halfway through Death Proof.
Yeah, well, they kind of artificially scratch the films and give them, like, vinegar stains and pops and scratches to make it seem like they're old prints that have circled the world for years.
Right, and Rodriguez sort of sticks with it for Planet Sarah.
He's consistent throughout his film.
There's even missing bits, missing reels, like weird splices, but yeah, Tarantino kind of abandons it during his...
Now when I saw, maybe you can explain this to me, but Tarantino's just in a nutshell, is about some girls who are terrorized by a kind of crazed stuntman.
And the first half hour of this film,
Now, I'm gonna say what I thought about it, and you can correct me, Joe, and explain it to me if you think I'm insane.
But the first half hour of this film follows these four girls being terrorised, and it's, for me, it was incredibly boring torture.
And it seemed like a parody of a Tarantino film, all lots of kind of crazy sassy dialogue and stuff happening in this bar.
You're thinking, what's going on?
And there's a cameo from Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino in there.
Oh, no, no, from Eli Roth is in there, isn't he?
Yeah, the director of Cabin Fever Hostel and Hostel 2 and the inventor of the torture porn sub-genre.
There you go.
And just when I was personally so bored that I wanted to kill myself, suddenly there was an explosion of amazingly intense action and all these girls are sort of dispatched.
And then the film seems to start again with a whole new cast, a whole new set of characters, but the same baddie.
And he's forgotten about all the scratching the film up and stuff.
It just turns into a completely different thing, like almost a different genre of film.
But again, it's like half an hour's worth of total boredom, as far as I could tell.
And then 15 minutes at the end of the most exciting stuff I've ever seen in my life, pretty much.
What did you make of it?
I agree, yeah.
I think you're right.
No, I thought it was brilliant.
I highly recommend it.
It's not out in Britain yet, but it's coming out on DVD in America.
So if you're naughty, you can import it.
It's worth having a look at.
Naughty and porty.
Shall we have some more music?
Why not?
Here's the Kaiser Chiefs with the Angry Mob.
Kaiser Chiefs with the Angry Mob.
Hey, thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll be back tomorrow morning at 7 a.m.
Bright and early for the breakfast show again.
We've been Adam and Joe.
Coming up now is Gideon Coe, who's got what are they called?
Rylo Kylie live in the hub.
That's exciting.
That's very exciting.
They're a fantastic band.
Yeah, but have a lovely day everybody and we'll see you tomorrow morning.