The Adam and Joe Archive - 20080315_090000_bbc6m_adam_and

I know.

I'll get the mate Barry to it then.

He's threatening.

Yeah, but Barry's a mate of Gordon's, isn't he?

I will.

I don't care.

Cos she's a spag.

A nigga crew.

She's a fag.

Six music.

Today from Two.

John Holmes.

From Midday, Liz Kershaw.

And now, it's Adam and Joe.

Hello and welcome to The Pig.

your indigestion Swallow words one by one Folks got high at a quarter to five Don't you feel you're growing up undone?

Nothing but the local DJ Said he had some songs to play What went down from this bullet around?

Imagine all the girls And the boys And the strings And the drums And the drums

Again All about where and when Blowing our minds in a life of kind You gotta love the B.P.M.

When it was all better Remembering how this began

There you go, that's Great DJ by Ting Tings.

This is Adam Buxton here on the radio.

Joe's away this week, listeners.

I'm sorry to tell you he's in America.

I don't know if you've heard of it.

It's huge.

It's a country across the sea and almost everything exciting comes from there.

And it's run by George Bush.

So I don't know what else to say about that.

He's out there.

He's doing it's very exciting movie business.

I'm not he asked me not to mention it's very secret, but I'm going to say anyway.

are you really yeah yeah he's gonna kill you he's out there he's working on a remake of filofax with jim balushi and it's a kind of robot jim balushi they're using it's amazing and it's never been done before and joe's out there he's the point man on the whole project

He's going to be very upset when he hears that I've blown the gaff, but he'll be back with you next week.

And filling in for him... Well, filling in is the wrong word.

He's my guest.

I'm filling in his giant shoes.

That is the voice of Garth Jennings, ladies and gentlemen.

He's an old friend of myself and Joe's.

He's a film director.

He's actually got a film coming out very shortly, in fact.

That's not the reason he's here.

It's just a coincidence.

It is, genuinely.

But we should declare an interest up front and say that, you know, he's our friend and he also happens to be a film director.

I happen to be in his film that's coming out.

That's right.

Adam plays a teacher who gets some scissors stuck up his nose.

This is a film called Son of Rambo, which you directed.

We'll be talking a bit more about that later on.

And indeed, you know, talking to you about other stuff that you've done.

You and I have worked together before we did the Radiohead stuff last year on their webcast.

That's right.

That was good.

A few bits and pieces so we can talk about that.

And of course we've got our usual features.

Garth has provided a song for Song Wars this week.

We said last week that Song Wars was going to be about family members.

We had to write a song featuring a family member.

We didn't have to write a song but just, you know, compose, create some music featuring a family member.

I think

We'll unveil those in the next half an hour or so.

I'm sure they're pretty spectacular.

And of course, we've got text the nation coming up later on.

You're welcome to text us and email us the email addresses Adam and Joe.

Dot six music.

at pbc.co.uk forward sla- no forward sla- yeah dude our producer was uh- see i've already done what my wife told me not to do which is just what i just keep laughing at the stuff you do and then i sound ridiculous no that's good because Joe just sits there usually he's very surly and he just stares at me never lost anything i'd say and just makes me feel um uh you know inadequate so it's nice i'm gonna try and reel it in a bit all right then she's got a funny face

I do have a ludicrous face.

I shaved my beard off as well this week so now I can see my ridiculous face again.

It's a great disappointment to all concerned.

Anyway, let's play some more music now.

This is Daft Punk with Digital Love.

Last night, I had a dream about you In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you It looked like everyone was having fun The kind of feeling I waited so long Don't stop, come a little closer As we jam, the rhythm gets stronger There's nothing wrong with just a little, little fun

We were dancing all night long The time is right to put my arms around you You're feeling right, you wrap your arms around too But suddenly, I feel the shining sun Before I knew it, this dream was all gone

Yay!

This is the Daft Pong.

They with the digital love.

They're from France.

They're both from France.

Yes, that's right.

This is true.

And they like digital love.

That would be dangerous though, wouldn't it?

I mean... It would hurt.

It would hurt, there'd be electrocution.

Certainly need to take some kind of caution there.

And then there's all the viruses to worry about.

Good work!

He's already got it.

He could write for some kind of Frankie Boyle-based panel show.

Anyway, this is Adam and Garth here on BBC6 music.

It's a stupid name, Garth.

It doesn't even sound right.

What's wrong with Garth?

Can you imagine calling your baby Garth?

Mmm, that's a good point.

It's weird, isn't it?

My mum's listening, I know, cos she's bought a digital radio just for this experience.

Have you asked her why she called you Garth?

Is there a special family connection?

No, I think, cos my grandmother's Welsh, my grandma was pushing for Galeth.

Right.

But she wasn't having that.

She took the E out.

It wasn't like her last...

dying works or anything what did you say i think he's i think she said garth yeah i think it was garth no she's still alive my mum okay good and um and uh although she i think i nearly killed her coming out i was a gigantic baby that's probably why garth actually giant baby i'm gonna call him garth that's because that's how my mum speaks that's right how heavy is she i mean

How heavy were you?

I can't speak now.

I was about 10 pounds, I think.

That's quite giant.

Yeah, that's big.

It's like a bowling ball.

Yeah.

Is she walking all right now?

Good, I'm glad to hear that.

This is revolting.

It's not even 9.15.

Oh, dear.

Sorry, Mum.

I'm going to be talking to Garth more specifically about his amazing career in the media.

He still is a director of pop videos.

and dirty commercials and movies and all kinds of exciting things.

You know, a quick overview of Garth and Jenny's career as part of Hammer and Tongs, the pop video geniuses, they directed the video for coffee and TV by Blur with the milk carton dancing around.

Other well known Hammer and Tongs videos were the

um, super grass one for pumping on your stereo with the big muppets.

What would you say your other one that you're most proud of?

One of the ones that came out the same sort of time that people liked was for Fat Boy Slim and it was for the track Right Here Right Now and it was the evolution of man from amoeba to a big fat guy.

Right.

That went down well.

Yeah I mean that that was one of those ones that looked like it must have taken ages and cost a lot of money.

It took it didn't cost that much money because it was all rubber fish and all the backgrounds were made with Nick the producers sisters holiday photos or her trip around the world.

So it was we did an awful lot of shortcuts and actually Nick himself plays the Neanderthal man and the editors flatmates the guy you know toward the end not the big fat guy.

Yeah.

and um if we're talking about any videos throughout the course of the show that you haven't seen folks you can always check them out on youtube i imagine they're all up there aren't they yeah i think we put a link to our website on the six music website as well and there's a little film gallery there so you can kind of have a look and most recently of course you did a clip for a punk yeah uh by vampire weekend that hot band right now so hot right now

And that's got like millions of hits on there.

I can't understand, well I'm happy for them but it was made cheap as chips you know just one afternoon in its one take on a video camera but it was great fun we only did it because we really love the band and their music and yeah one and a half million hits.

Did YouTube feature that one?

you know i think they did right right um i think yes i think they did and it's amazing what happens when they put you on the front page normal isn't it your life changes yes yes suddenly weirdos come out of the woodwork yeah you get lots more bizarre

What a stupid video, I hate you.

You suck.

I'm going to find you and kill you for making this video.

You suck.

The bad sucks.

I have one which was great, which was when the revolution comes, Jennings will be first against the war.

Nice.

Thanks for that, whoever you are.

Well, we'll be talking more about various bits and bobs that Garth has done in the future.

In the future of the show, that is.

It's impossible to talk about what he's done in the future.

It's just not possible without some kind of time machine.

I can only guess.

Exactly.

But right now, here's a track that I've picked for you listeners.

And this is Elvis Costello.

Are you an Elvis Costello fan, Garth?

You know, it was one of my choices.

and they dropped my Elvis Costello one for yours I think.

Which one did you go for?

I was going for I don't want to go to Chelsea because that's got the best drums in the world on it.

I think this is from around about the same time I think this is early Costello and this is hand in hand.

It's got this long, weird little... There's about 20 seconds of this at the top.

Oh, dear.

But it's good, you know?

People are gonna get a bit freaked out by that.

Yeah, they'll be all right.

Calm down.

Here comes Elvis.

Here he comes.

Here he comes!

No, don't ask me to apologize I won't ask you to forgive me If I'm gonna go down You're gonna come with me

Elvis Costello with Hand in Hand, I think that's on this year's model.

I'm just belching Garth.

Can you film?

Are you okay?

Adam's belching and I am filling.

It's good, it's all over now.

You handled that well, man.

That was terrible on both of our parts, really.

You're fine, it's fine.

I'm gonna get good at this at the end, I'm gonna be doing that little talking over the end of records.

If you get good at it, then you're out.

Okay, there's no getting good on this show.

We were just saying that Elvis Costello would be one of the people that you would most like to sing like.

Oh, if I could sing like anyone, that would be my man.

Well, he's a good combination.

He's got the technique, he's got like the chops, the actual vocal skills, you know, he can actually hit the notes.

But he's also got that attitude and that... And then no one else sounds like him.

Yeah, exactly.

He's got the character in his voice as well as the technical skill.

And he does like high and shouty noises really well.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't want to go to jail.

It's fun.

I can't do it.

That's why I'd like to borrow his voice.

Well, we're playing some Frank black a bit later on.

He's another person.

It's fun.

It would be great to be able to sing like him, but it's impossible.

can't now listen we're gonna do a thing we've got a thing off thought it would be fun to do a sort of breakfast egg cooking thing well it's only as a gift really I'm new here and I thought I should provide some kind of like little present for you all yeah and one of the things I found recently

I've rediscovered the boiled egg, the joys of a perfect boiled egg.

And this is via a celebrity chef, is that right?

I think it's in one of our cookbooks at home.

I was just cooking them and they were always coming out either like a sort of liquid or a rock-solid horrible thing that you could only make into a sandwich.

Yeah.

And then I discovered, I can't remember who it was now.

Is it Delia or Nigella?

It's probably Delia.

Because she did a whole thing with eggs, didn't she?

Anyway... She's a woman!

Anyway, Delia's thing, and I thought what we should do, what you could do, if you really, if you like me, enjoy a nice boiled egg and you want it just perfect, cause it's quite nice having that and then it sets you up for the day and everything's great.

What I'll do is, I'll give you the perfect timings.

All you have to do is get a pan of water on, get yourself an egg, maybe you need to run down the corn shop.

What sort of size of egg are we talking here?

Well I always go large, cause why go small?

They're not that big anyway.

Well, and the thing was for ages that, you know, in the 70s it was all Salman Rushdie writing copy for those adverts saying go to work on an egg.

Was that Rushdie?

Yeah, Rushdie wrote those.

And then for a while in the late 80s and the 90s, it was like, don't touch the eggs, they're deadly.

The eggs are deadly, you'll die immediately if you eat the egg.

Well I think we're safe now.

And now it's okay I think.

It's all calm down.

It's all come full circle with the eggs.

So if you want to take part in our perfect egg challenge.

Well I just thought it would be nice you know.

I think it's a good idea man.

I'll be on the timer I've got a stopwatch here and I know exactly how to do it but basically how long have we got before.

Well we'll do it in the next half hour.

So if you get yourself a pan of water on.

Yeah.

And an egg and if you're a kid you know make sure you get a bit someone responsible helping you out with that.

Nice.

That was proper DJ stuff, wasn't it?

That's very good.

Me and Joe would never think of that.

I just slipped straight in there.

And we'll make it together and it'll be a great start to your day.

That's good, man.

We're gonna win some kind of prize for this.

This is some classic radio.

Now, here's a trail.

Do you like trails, Garth?

Oh man, I... What sort of length of trail is your favourite?

I'm looking here and I'm reckoning a whole one minute of trails would really sort me out.

Well, you're insane.

We've only got a 30-second one you have to make do with that okay, but it's a good one okay listen

BBC six music on the music week this week We've got all the best bits from South by Southwest as Matt joins us live from Texas Tune in for all the biggest news interviews and live music and we speak exclusively to muses Matt Bellamy about their plans for the future That's a special transatlantic edition of the music week tomorrow from one the music week at South by Southwest six music

Brothers and sisters, I don't know what this world is coming to.

Yes, the rhythm's a rebel.

Without a pause, I'm lowering my level.

The hard rhymer, where you never been?

I'm in.

You want styling?

You know it's time to get deep.

The enemy telling you to hear it.

They praise the music.

It's time to play the lyrics.

Some say no to the album, the show.

Bum rush the sound.

I made it year ago.

I guess you know.

I don't understand this, man.

Yo, you got this one out, man.

You're losing them.

Radio suckers never play me.

All the mics, they just don't pay me now.

No, they go when they're clocking my soul.

And there's no sneaking and taking everything that the brother owns.

Hard.

My quarter card recording it.

a rebel in his own mind supporter of my rhymes designed to scatter a line of suckers who claim I do crime they are my top ticket

Yo Chuck, you're getting nervous, they can't handle this, they're gonna break down.

I'm a rebel, it's final, a black final.

Soul, rock and roll, coming like a rhino.

Tables turn, suckers burn and learn.

They can't disable the power of my label.

Def Jam, tells you who I am.

Never damn strong island, where I got a riling.

That's the reason they claiming I'm violent.

Never silent.

No don't getting dumb, nope.

Claiming where we get our rhythm from.

Number one, we hit you and we give you some.

No gun, and still never on the run.

You want to be an F1, gripper till you win.

And then you come again.

You know what time it is.

MP's the president, pulling out my ray gun.

Zap the next one, I could be your show gun.

Don't last a minute, soft and smooth.

I just won't faze ya Old enough to raise ya So this will faze ya Get it right boy, maybe I will paze ya Playin' the role I got soul to Voice my opinion with volume Smooth, not what I am Rock, cause I'm my man No matter what the name We're all the same pieces In one big chess game The voice of power is in the house Go take a shower boy P-E accrue accrue

We're not singular.

We wear black branglers.

We're rap stragglers.

You can't handle us.

I know you're listening.

I caught your fist in your pants.

You're scared of pissing us.

The crowd is missing us.

We're on a mission, y'all.

Yo, jump.

Yo.

Yeah, man.

Yo, you gotta run and scare, man.

Terminator X.

When I'm on fire, shoes sorta loose Electric wire, simple and plain Give me the lane, I'll throw it down your throat like sparkly You see my car keys, you'll never get these They belong to the 9-8 posse You want some more, son?

You wanna get some?

Burn rush the door of the store Pick up the album, you know the rhythm, the rhyme Plus the beat is designed so I can enter your mind, boys

Terminator X!

Yeah, that's right!

This jam is raining!

Cole Medina, boy!

That's right!

Cole Medina!

That's right!

We showin' off in the E-F-F-E-C-T on the night!

Yes, I do.

I understand exactly what you're saying.

Flavor Flav.

That was Public Enemy with Rebel Without a Pause.

Remember the first time you heard that Garth?

Yeah.

It's quite an exciting moment, wasn't it?

Actually, you know what?

I don't remember the first time I heard that, but I remember the first time I heard them and I thought, wow, that's all wrong.

I actually went to one of their gigs and that was scary.

Genuinely scary, but then brilliant scary.

Yeah.

It's like having done something really scary and then you've, wow, survived it and then you think it was brilliant.

Did they have the guys with the Uzi's on stage?

Yeah, it was brilliant.

It was absolutely brilliant, but I remember feeling like, oh, I'm out of my indie depth here.

Yeah, yeah.

The scary sounds.

Uh, now we are, um...

Oh, we're gonna are we gonna play this flank prank backtrack for the news?

Oh, I see.

Have you heard this one before?

I don't think so.

It's quite nutty.

It sounds a bit like Frank Black doing the Beastie Boys.

This is the say us by Frank Black Francis.

I'm sorry.

I am Double Dose, you are Ghost, you are Toast, you are Bandito The thieves will call themselves the Great Hammerhead I am the Great

I'm going to city to see my daddy I hope he's back when he is with me I was an itty bitty baby

To the common scum who would have me tied between two semi-trucks and torn asunder.

After you, tender screw.

Thank you.

Let me tell you, tell you, tell me.

She's fine.

She's mine.

You're in your line.

To Madara, to the scary old man With a pair of old dang defeats I'm not washing your stinky feet You're me, you're me, you're me, you're me You lick me off, I kick you off Let's live, you stiff, you stiff, you stiff, you stiff

I need you sitting to see my daddy I hope he's back when he is with me

Itty bitty baby, but girl her see I am a big man I'm going to sit deep, just see my daddy I hope he's driving, he is with me I wasn't itchy, itty bitty baby, but girl her see I am a big man

To the great big, I am the great.

Seus, I am the great.

Fat pig, I would like to say, I am the great.

I am the great.

Yeah, that's a peach, come on.

I like that a lot.

That's to say, Black Francis, this is Adam and Joe with my friend Garth filling in for Joe this week here on BBC 6 Music.

It's time for the news now, read by Catherine Cracknell.

On digital radio and online, BBC 6 Music.

Police quiz Shannon about her missing three weeks.

Detectives probed cyclist murder and wails on the brink of Six Nations title.

Six Music.

BBC News at 9.30.

I'm Catherine Cracknell.

Shannon Matthews is facing police questions this morning as West Yorkshire police try to work out what happened when she went missing from her home in Dewsbury more than three weeks ago.

A 39-year-old man's being held on suspicion of abduction.

Neighbour Christopher Heat says everyone in the area's delight is over the moon.

Everybody's delighted about it.

It's just, well, everybody expected the outcome to be a lot worse than what it was, but it's been OK, it's been fine.

Yeah, everybody's happy, really happy.

The mother of murdered British teenager Scarlett Keeling has met detectives in Goa.

Fiona McEwen says she's being treated as a witness in the investigation and isn't facing any charges.

In other 6music news, a murder investigation is underway in Liverpool after a woman was stabbed to death in the street as she rode her bike.

She was attacked in the Anfield area after getting into an argument with two women in a car last night.

A man's been charged with the murder of a month-old baby boy found in Cornwall.

Riley Saunders was discovered in a flat in Tor Point 12 days ago with a head injury and died a few days later.

Last night's sport relief marathon on BBC One has raised just over 19 and a half million pounds.

The money's going to vulnerable people here and in the world's poorest countries.

6 music sport, motor racing and a good start to the season for McLaren's Lewis Hamilton.

He's on pole for the Australian Grand Prix.

Rugby and Wales only need to stop France winning by more than 19 points to claim the Six Nations title.

But all thoughts are on a home win and grand slam in Cardiff.

Legendary Welsh wing Yian Evans thinks the team can do it.

I think they've got serious momentum and I think they've got a great opportunity today.

It's going to be difficult to doubt about it.

France will prove a physical challenge but Wills have improved their set piece and I think if they can do that again today and give these backs a platform, I think they're capable of scoring tries and I think Wills will give their hands on this RBS Six Nations.

And the weather a grey one with some wet weather spreading in through the day unless you're in northern Scotland which should stay dry.

Highs getting up to around 12 at best.

That's Six Music News, next update 10.30.

We dig into the BBC Music archives and bring you classic session tracks from Dr John and the Asian Dub Foundation and there are concert highlights from ASWAD.

Join me, Gideon Coe, Monday night from 10.

Just like love

I want to be

That's T-Rex there.

Exciting new band and that's called 20th Century Boy.

Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.

Joe's away this week.

My friend Garth Jennings.

Hello.

Is here.

Hello Garth.

Hello Adam.

How you doing?

I'm standing in for big old Joe.

Giant Joe.

Giant Joe but with his tiny feet.

he's got tiny little feet yeah how do you uh you're almost as tall as joe though aren't you no joe's about seven feet tall is he he's oh wait i'm six foot and he's about seven i thought i was just small no well you're you're smallish but he's gigantic i know he's like jack the pumpkin king from nightmare before christmas i thought you're gonna say jack the giant killer

Yeah?

No he is like Jack, he's Jack Skellington.

Jack Skellington.

That's true, he is a little bit like Jack Skellington.

Hi Jack the pumpkin king.

So I just had to do it.

You sound like Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

I'm Jack Skellington, I've come a long way to be here tonight.

It is my son, it's W.

Later on in the program I want to do a whole link where we just talk like Daniel Day Lewis and there will be blood.

I'm really excited about that.

I've got a couple of clips from the film that I loaded into the machine.

The bananas film.

So we're going to talk about that later on because you and I have got slightly different takes on that film.

Well, yeah.

fight that out anyway we we've got a little uh before we do our egg challenge listeners you're garth is going to teach you how to cook the perfect boiled egg in just a second it was delia smith we found out it was a delia smith deal right we're just going to go through a couple of emails and texts that we've received don't forget of course if you want to text us the number is 64046 64046 for texts and if you want to email us it's adam and joe that's all one word and it's a n d not ampersand

dot six music at bbc.co.uk.

Now first off someone was correcting me it wasn't Salman Rushdie who wrote Go To Work On An Egg as a piece of ad copy it was Faye Weldon.

I think it was because you were thinking of Salmonella and you thought Salman Rushdie and you put it all together in your tiny brain.

That's entirely likely.

What famous copy did Salman Rushdie write then?

Naughty but nice cream buns because he's filthy minded.

There you go.

Filthy salmon.

Dirty, dirty salmon.

I don't know if he's minded, but, uh, minded, married, but, uh, for a long time, he certainly always used to go out with very foxy women.

anyway there you go that's what the fatwad does for you doesn't it sexy I love men we've got see this I knew this would happen

We've got an email here from someone who says, first off, great to have you guys back on the radio talking silliness.

Thanks very much.

This is from Adam, Adam Richmond in London.

And he says, I thought I'd email to share my strange love and obsession with Danny Dyer.

We were talking about Danny Dyer last week.

Oh, were you?

I missed that one.

and just the fact that he's a humorous person and I'd love it if you read my homage to his life in film.

Oh no, he's just sent me a link to the homage in film.

There's no way I can say that on the radio.

I can read out the link with all the forward slashes and stuff.

I don't think

People would be entertained by it though.

Anyway, he says that he saw Son of Rambo.

That's your film Garth.

How did he see it?

I don't know.

We've had some press screenings.

Maybe he's a media type.

He might be a media type.

Or someone, as a tastemaker they call them.

Right.

They say we've invited some tastemakers.

Is that what you call a buzz screening?

Yeah.

A buzz screening.

That's when you get people who are hip and no other people who are hip.

Or what about if they've had a hip replacement?

Oh, you get lots of those creaking in.

Yeah, they need a little more help.

Well, he thought the film was great.

And then he says he's got a little anecdote.

I want to share my crushingly awkward moment with a celebrity.

It was Adam Buxton.

I'm Adam Buxton.

It was about two years ago and Adam was doing some free shows in a bar in Clark and Well.

They weren't free.

You had to pay.

See, that's him sneaking into my film as well.

He just sneaked in, yeah.

And he would get surprise celebrity guests along like Simon Pegg and Richard Ayoade.

This is a club I sort of do from time to time in a place called The Zeta, a trendy kind of restaurant, hotel, bar place in Clark and Well.

And I do some stand up there every now and again and show my films.

And this guy came along and saw one.

He said, it was the night the DVD kept breaking and Adam didn't look too happy.

He rolled with the punches and it was still really good.

But by the end of the night, you could tell he wanted to curl up and die.

That's just a normal night.

I was gonna say.

That sounds like a hot night.

Wow!

That's fantastic.

Thanks very much.

It's not easy to smash up a DVD.

No, it takes ages.

It's dangerous as well So don't try it at home, especially not with an Adam and Jo DVD for goodness sake only six people have bought them anyway Now after this start boiling the water folks if you want to take part in our create your perfect boiled egg It's gonna be so delicious and you'll thank me for it later.

So get your egg, a large egg we said, and obviously make sure it's not a bad egg.

And you do that by putting it in the water.

No, don't put it in the water.

Yeah, but I'm saying before you boil the water, you put the egg in the water.

If it floats, it's no good.

Really?

If it sinks, it's fine.

Okay?

Okay.

That's how you tell if an egg is good or not.

It's a shame none of that rhymes, so it could be a nice, you know, if it... If someone can think of a way of saying that that rhymes, email in.

Okay.

If it floats, it's no good.

Get rid of it, because it's got air in there.

Okay.

And it's bad, badness.

But, uh, yeah, so you just need a... just need some hot, boiling water and a... and an egg now.

Yeah.

And then we're ready to go.

Get the water boiling.

After this track by R.E.M., we will start boiling the eggs.

Everybody here comes from somewhere.

That they would just as soon forget And disguise At the summer camp where you volunteered No one saw your face, no one saw your fear If that apparition had just appeared to you I've been away from the space and fear Humiliation Of your teenage station

And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried And you cried, and you cried

Just to say you don't have to explain You don't have to explain the humiliation Of your teenage station Yeah, he cried and he cried He's alive, he's alive He cried and he cried

Everybody here comes to somewhere The day they just ask and forget and disguise And you cry and you cry, he's alive

There's nothing dark and there's nothing here Don't be afraid, I will hold you here for now Say I swear you first could say An open heart on a talking stage

REM that's their new one supernatural super serious a title suggested apparently by Chris Martin of the Coldplay really apparently was gonna be called something else maybe a line from the song elsewhere and Martin in his kind of cocksure manner said to stipe at some celebrity backpacking session yeah

you are you're insane that's a terrible title you should call it supernatural super serious and stipe said well i bowed to the will of coldplay oh you clever clever man so there he goes i like it strange connection isn't it you wouldn't think those guys would be hanging out it's a great song though it's good like that

it's very good now it is time for uh you guys at home if you want to uh take part in this to create the perfect egg yeah have a really nice boiled egg to start your day so if you've got your pan of water boiling away there and you've got your egg ready to go get a sort of tablespoon because you're about to lower that egg into the pan and adam's going to talk

for one minute because I just want to do a first initial boiling for one minute.

That is key to the secret of successful boiled eggs.

And so you should be poised with your utensil to remove the egg.

No no no it stays in there.

So what happens at the end of the minute?

I'll tell you at the end of the minute.

I'm so excited.

Okay, so you ready Adam?

I'm gonna put and folks at home.

We're gonna put the egg in in five seconds.

I'm gonna give you some In this minute.

I'm going to give you some info from the Canadian partnership from of consumer food safety education Okay, I'm going to give you some Q&A's from their website about eggs and egg safety and then I'll just cut in and tell you when to stop at okay, okay folks so lower your egg into the pan now and

My mom taught me to put hard boiled eggs taken out of the shell and put in water and add a dash of salt.

She never asked me how long for and she has died.

Do you know?

Thanks.

That's a question sent on this website.

All my regrets to your mother.

The hard boiled eggs should be kept in the refrigerator.

Under this condition, they will keep for a week.

Question.

When you put eggs in water, how can you tell if they are good or not?

When an egg floats, it means that it is an old egg.

We covered that.

Another question.

I forgot and left four eggs at room temperature in water overnight.

Can these be hard boiled, refrigerated and eaten?

Thank you.

No, discard the eggs immediately.

Once left at room temperature, the danger zone temperature for more than two hours, pathogenic microorganisms will be created and no amount of cooking will be able to kill the bacteria or toxins that have developed in that time.

how we do for time.

Ready and okay now what I want you to do is leave the egg in the in the in the pan there but just turn the heat off and if you can just put a lid find an old pan lid pop it on top of the of the saucepan see that the heats off now and you're just covering that pan for a perfect egg

And we're going to cover it for how long?

Well, am I going to tell them or am I just going to just say take it off now?

Okay, so you just keep that situation.

I'll let you know.

Right, we're going to play some music and then when it's time to do something else to the egg, Garth will let you know.

Yeah.

Now, did you choose this Garth?

Oh yeah, this is Jonathan Richmond, Egyptian Reggae.

It's one of my favourite tracks and it's also in Son of Rambo.

It's one of the great things about making a film, you can put things in that you really love.

And you know what, though?

The Dirty Admen have used this for a... Yeah, I was a bit cross about that, because I thought, this is great, it's not around anymore, and it's so lovely.

And then the Weetabix people, wasn't it?

Something like that.

Someone like that.

But anyway, ignore them.

It's much better in our film.

And yes, it's in Son of Rambo, but I love it, and I'm really happy to be able to play it in full.

It's a smash.

Jonathan Richmond with Egyptian Reggae.

It's after this next track.

Your eggs are pretty much going to be ready, but don't do anything until we tell you to, OK?

Yes.

Stand by, people.

Eggs are nearly ready.

Here's Vampire Weekend.

We are Saturday

brilliant vampire weekend basically if you're boiling your egg get it out now get your spoon in there lift it out hopefully you thought about getting an egg cup ready so pop it on your egg cup and it should be perfect just that perfect ah that's how you know what you could do listen up friends is take a picture of the egg

Yeah.

You know, once you've got the top of the egg off there, whatever technique you use to do that, take a picture of the consistency of the egg.

And we'd very much like to see it.

You can text it to us 64046.

Or you could email it to us adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk.

You know it'll be fun for us to see and we'll put, if we get any good pics there we'll stick them on the website.

But the main thing is that you enjoy it and it sorts you out for the rest of the day.

Oh no that's not the main thing.

Oh it is no.

No the main thing is the website.

Okay.

No but I was also, I realised we've sort of missed out the fact that really you needed a bit of toast with that but people know, people can do things on their own right?

I don't know.

Maybe they can't.

Well, there's going to be a lot of people stood there with just a boiled egg and no soldiers.

And if they start making the toast, the egg is still cooking itself, of course, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

We should have said.

I should have said.

I should have said it in that two minute gap.

You were doing all your chat.

This is the kind of thing that can bring the big British castle to its knees.

No mention was made of toast preparations, and I was left with a boiled egg and nothing to dip.

You'll be alright.

I hope you enjoy it.

Anyway, that's the egg thing, right?

There you go, that's the egg thing.

Yeah, let us know how it went for you.

And that was Apunk with Vampire Weekend, we said before.

That's one of the songs that Garth, our guest today, filling in for Joe.

Garth Jennings has directed a video for which you can see online right now.

and it's got millions and millions of hits I say millions one and a half million which is not too shabby that's good for them and it's brilliant for a video that cost almost nothing and only took a few hours to do I think we were done by tea time we shot it on your video camera actually that's right and what was the process it was it was one of the you played it really really slow yeah we re-recorded the song so it was at this sort of speed

And then when you speed it back up to the original speed of the track, everything's moving really fast.

There's nothing genius about that, but it just means you can get an awful lot done in a short amount of time.

So how long did it actually take to film the one shot?

Oh, it's a two minute, ten second long song.

And I think it takes about nine and a half minutes to shoot the slow version.

And how and did you do everything in one day like choreography and everything?

Yeah.

So you just sort of worked it out?

They turned up about 11.

Yeah.

A cup of coffee.

We went through it a few times.

They worked out a little routine in the middle with the drums.

And then I was on the snow machine and then Nick was on removing drums in and out and all that sort of stuff.

And that was it really.

We just did it about five or six times before.

I mean they get very tired on the drums back there.

And then that was it.

And it was finished that day.

You know, we could give it to them to take home.

Were they happy with it?

Yeah, they were really happy with it.

What if they liked the vampires?

They're actually very nice.

And the lead singer has got incredible, like, you know, star skin.

He's one of those people you can't stop looking at.

He's got like a porcelain face.

Really, unblemished.

Yeah, it's totally unblemished.

Wow.

They're really good as well.

How old are they then?

Six.

I don't know, they're very young.

And they've got that thing when you talk to bands individually, individual members, it's all great.

But when you talk to a band en masse, they tend to be quite... They go monosyllabic.

Yeah, they all just look at you and you feel like a real idiot.

Especially when you're saying, okay, this is when the snow machine comes on, and they're looking at you like, right.

But then when you get them on their own, they're like, oh, I'm really excited.

I remember you saying Hot Chip were a little surly with you as well.

No, they weren't surly.

Were they not?

No, they were great.

Yeah.

No, Blur were quite surly.

Oh, Blur.

Well, it wasn't actually Blur.

Blur were good, but I think Damon was a bit surly.

Yeah.

But then he was fine afterwards.

I think it's really annoying to make videos.

Bands really don't genuinely... They don't really relish the process, do they?

No, I don't blame them really.

It's sort of annoying.

You have to get up really early.

You're there for ages.

We mess about putting the lights up and all that stuff.

Yeah.

So he got a little bit cross.

But then he was happy with the final result.

yeah yeah but no the hot chip i love those hot chip people they're doing so well now they're so hot right now the chips are so hot these chips are too hot uh it's time for trail now it says a radio head trail i don't know what this is about let's find out oh no six music

On Monday, Six Music will be giving away a limited number of tickets to a very special gig.

Listen after four on Monday afternoon to find out more.

Radiohead at the BBC.

Six Music.

You're just so selfish Gene, yes you are Hey you, threw it all away, holding in

Twist the night

Except yourself.

Well, they're a perfect combination of good etiquette and charm.

You keep the chocolate biscuits wired to a car.

In the morning Or any time that you call

I hear you snoring, Jean, through the wall So hey, here's to everything To peace and love in our time

You feel the pain?

Here it comes.

Say run.

All right.

Ooh.

Yeah, I'm holding on.

See where I'm coming from.

Will you see me coming to love before you see where I'm running from?

No time for question asking.

Time is passing by.

All right.

You can't win, child.

We've all tried to.

You've been lied to.

It's already inside you.

Either you run right now, you best get ready to die.

You better.

Ooh.

I said, ooh.

Ooh.

And this way

That's Gnarls with the Barclays and Run.

This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.

The Adam and Joe Show.

My friend Garth Jennings is filling in for Joe who is in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave as well.

That's where all the brave people live.

We just got a text in from James and it says, Hello chaps.

James from Silver Sun here.

That's our name drop sound there.

Love the show, actually he's written love dasho because he's from the hood apparently.

He always was a hip guy.

He says just eating my egg.

Ask Garth how it feels to never have done anything as good as the three videos that he did for us.

I love that band.

Must be a constant source of annoyance to him.

You know, I'm not familiar with Silver Sun, what's the album to get?

You know what, that's where Nigel Godrich, that was one of his first projection things I think.

But Silver Sun were brilliant, we were just big fans of them and approached them in order to try and do videos for them, and they let us.

And they were brilliant because they were up for anything.

I think we did one in an art school where they were the life models,

and everyone was painting them.

And we did one in our kitchen with lots of bugs coming towards them.

What's the best Silverstone album to get then if you're a beginner?

Oh, what was the first one?

Called My Brain's Gone.

But just type in Silver Sun on Amazon and get yourself one of those.

It's really, really brilliant.

Golden Skin was my favourite song they did, and that was my favourite video we made.

It was like a Trisha rip-off that goes mental.

And weirdly enough, I'm pretty sure there's a character in it who plays Wolf Boy, who comes on, he's got a facial hair problem, and I'm pretty sure it's that guy who's the big comedian now who's outrageous and wears winkle pickers.

Oh.

With the bookie-wookie out.

Oh, Russell Brand.

It's Russell Brand.

Before he was famous.

Oh, in that video.

We dressed him up as a werewolf.

I'm pretty sure it's Russell.

In Golden Skin.

She's got golden skin, yeah.

Hey, that's a good fact.

I think it's a fact.

Fun fact.

I was imagining, when you said, who's the big guy, I was imagining some big giant fat guy.

That would be a new type of celebrity though, a big fat version of Russell Brand.

Yeah, well there's a gap in the market there.

Yeah, exactly.

Winkle pickers, but massive.

That would be really, because people are going to get tired of the kind of Jack Skellington thin boy look, aren't they?

Yeah.

And I think big fat version of that goth look is where it is next, probably.

I've just been told that album was just called Silver Sun.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah, that's all it needed to be.

The eponymous debut.

uh we've got another email here on the subject of our eggs someone bill from derby in the united kingdom is saying hi guys wrong wrong thrice wrong the secret is that you put the eggs in the water while it's cold you bring them to the boil and start timing the eggs from when the water starts boiling

He's got exclamation points all over the place.

Yeah, he's crossed.

And that's okay.

Oh, sorry, you've got a bit more to it.

He says, well, he says, you put your eggs in the boiling water and they crack and strange alienate ectoplasm starts leaking out.

You'll have Delia around ranting and raving at you guys.

Well, I think that's the other way.

There's always more than one way to do these things.

More than one way to boil an egg.

Yeah, I just thought we'd go for the more exciting way.

Yeah.

And, you know, hopefully you're all happy out there eating your nice little egg.

Don't think we've received any pictures of the results yet, but... Probably people were just sitting down to enjoy them.

Yeah, but I'd rather they put us first and sent us pictures of the eggs.

Selfish listener.

Selfish listeners.

After this next track, which I've chosen for you listeners, we are going to unveil our Song Wars songs for you.

Both Garth and I have created Song Wars.

Joe...

has skipped off to america the week that he had to write a song wars song so he's having four weeks off song wars duties because we won't do one next week he'll regret it when he hears what we've got yeah exactly we're going to be playing you the results of our efforts after this track this is johnny polonsky do you know johnny polonsky garth is this on this is probably one of those artists i've put it on a compilation yeah yeah frank black produced this years ago like at the end of the uh 90s i think

And his album, Hi, My Name's Johnny is actually pretty good.

And this is a track from there.

Hope you enjoy.

This is called Half Mind.

half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine half mine

Seem out of place in space and time, maybe true But I won't come back to find you, they'll be fine

you

Johnny Polonsky there with Half Mind.

Nice long sort of coda there at the end.

I like a nice long coda.

Yeah.

Do you not?

I like that one.

Hey, this is Adam Buxton.

I'm here with Garth Jennings and this is BBC6 Music and it's time for... It's time for Song Wars, the war of the songs.

Song Wars, and they're kind of epics today.

They're pretty long, these songs.

What's yours?

A couple of minutes?

Two minutes, five seconds.

Yeah, almost exactly the same as mine.

And this week, our brief was to create songs, pieces of music featuring family members.

Yeah.

Okay, now we are going to toss a coin for who goes first.

You're really doing this.

I always thought you would fake something like that.

OK.

Can't fake anything at the castle, boy.

You've not been reading the news for the last year.

You can get summarily beheaded for even a coin toss fake incident thing.

Oh, I didn't.

You flunked it.

You didn't call it.

OK.

It was cheated.

Here you go.

You do it.

Yeah.

OK.

Heads.

Heads I start.

Heads you start.

All right.

We're going to play Garth first.

Now explain to us what this song is and who's in it.

Well, I should say first of all that it's not a song I've written.

I've slightly cheated because I didn't have much time.

You guys, you've got all the time in the world, lazing around there.

I've got the help of my grandma, Joan Rebecca Phoebe Graham, who's 87 now, she only had a birthday a couple of weeks ago, and she's from Wales, we call her Joanie, and she's doing a version of Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

and which is kind of appropriate because it's a miracle she's still standing the amount of cigarettes that one has smoked in her life but she belts it out and we've tried to do it in a sort of swing band kind of style all on garage band like you do it yeah and it's a sort of two-minute version of that track so there's no intro it's just full-on Joni giving it some let's hear it okay

You could never know what it's like Your blood's like winter freezes just like ice And there's a cold on your life that shines from you You'll end up like the wreck you'll find if you believe that mask you use

And if you think that school could never win Well look at me, I'm coming back again I've got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know why I'm still standing You just fade away Don't you know I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing, after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win You started down the road leaving me again The threats you made were meant to cut me down And if a laugh was just a circus You'd be a clown by now Don't you know that I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid

After all this time, picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind.

I'm still standing, yeah.

Wow, that's extraordinary stuff there.

That is Joan Graham all the way from Stanisli.

Age 87.

87.

Hope she won't mind us saying her age there.

Oh, I think once you get to that age, it's just... Doesn't matter that much.

Wow, no.

I'm very proud of that.

That's great, man.

She did that in her recording in her front room on my laptop.

Yeah.

And was she familiar with the track already?

No, I think she'd heard it before.

She's quite musical.

She picks up a tune quite quickly, but it's impossible to sing.

And so she does it in a kind of shouty rant, which works really well.

And she really went for it.

You see her there with her Benson and Hedges in one hand and a microphone in the other going, what's a never good hope to win?

Like Elton John himself.

Yes, absolutely.

I would imagine.

Now, here's my track.

This one features my dad, also known as Bad Dad, of course, if listeners ever used to watch the Adam and Joe show, which me and Joe used to do on Channel 4 years ago, 10 years ago.

Then you would have seen my dad.

He was our youth correspondent on there So he was always one of the favorites.

Yeah, and he used to review videos as well for us and I'm just remembering now what he said about the blur video about song too Anyway, I won't get sidetracked He loathed it basically.

But um, so this is a rap.

This is a bad dad rap And I won't say any more about it.

Let's check it out.

I'm bad.

I am the bad

in the roof, and I haven't got my manner, cause you borrowed it and failed to give it back.

B-triple-A-D-D-A-D, I'm the head of the mother-loving Buxton family.

Children got a problem, they bring it to me.

I don't solve it, but I'm fairly sympathetic.

I've worked many years at the Sunday telegram.

They called me travel editor.

It really was a laugh.

I travelled the world from the north to the south, and it paid for my children's education.

Now my children are fully grown I live on the downs in a house on my own I drink red wine like coke you roll And I listen to a little bit of vodka

Tidy up the room, fool.

Get your hair cut.

When are you going to get a decent job?

For goodness sake, pass the Courvoisier.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Whose yo-yo is this?

I watch TV from time to time, but most of what I see is a mother-loving crime.

Nigella Lawson, that woman is fine, but Ewan McGregor is appalling.

Russell Brown, he's a loathsome creep Sabina McCoy, she makes me weep Simon Sharma, stick him on the heap And don't get me started on Kopinski Don't push me, cause I'm close to the hedge And I'm carrying quite the heat

I dislike Fiona Bruce.

It's very difficult to say why.

That's fantastic!

There you go, that's bad dad.

And, funnily enough, he's almost the same age as your gran.

Yeah.

I think maybe a few years shy, but he's pretty much up there.

He's an octogenarian.

That was wonderful!

That was good, wasn't it?

Just laughing my little face after that.

he was he wasn't sure about some of the rhythms there he had different lyrical suggestions i had to uh you know because we went through he wrote some of the stuff himself his breath technique is wicked it is wicked he is a wicked rapper man he's well respected as a rapper

Anyway so those are the two um say again votes yes you have to vote for which one you uh prefer only on email please only email votes no text votes no not this week so just email votes for song wars and you can vote right throughout the week um by emailing adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk and that means you know you can

Vote even if you're listening to the Listen Again service that we have throughout the week after this live show goes out on Saturday mornings.

So that's Song Wars for this week.

We'll remind you of those songs later on in the program, but here's some real music for you now.

This is Does It Offend You, Yeah?

with We Are Rockstars.

That's We Are Rockstars by Does It Offend You?

Yeah.

You're listening to BBC6 music.

Hi, I'm Adam Buxton.

Who are you?

I'm Garth Jennings.

I'm not Joe.

Cornish.

Garth's filling in for Joe.

Joe's away this week.

He'll be back with you next week, the listeners.

But it's an absolute pleasure to have my old friend Garth.

It's brilliant for me because I get the whole Saturday morning off.

That's right.

And just sit here drinking tea and listening to your records.

And then later on, what are you doing later on today?

I think it's Horton Hears a Who with the kids.

Horton Hears a Who.

Yep.

I'm up for that one.

Yeah.

That sounds good.

And then what is it next weekend?

It's Spiderwick Chronicles.

yeah you're right yeah hey let's um uh do some emails and stuff here we've had a few messages come in on the subject of eggs and stuff but someone sent you a message about your your grand yeah got a really good one here from graham jilkes it says morning guys garth cheated in song wars that wasn't his grandmother it was marianne faithful i think that's it is true it was marianne faithful your your grandmother is marianne yes

We've also got some messages, some mnemonics for how to tell if your egg is good or not.

Here's one from Paul and it says if the yolk in the crispy coating is found a floating do what me thinks and find one that sinks.

Underneath he says rubbish.

Thanks, Paul.

No, appreciate that though.

Cheers, Paul.

And he sends one in.

Here's my egg rime.

He says, if it floats, it's time for bins.

If it sinks, it's time for dins.

Yeah.

Did he write rubbish underneath that as well?

He failed to write rubbish.

No, I don't think that's rubbish.

It's not rubbish.

It's pretty good.

And he says, thanks though, Andy.

And he says, P.S.

I'm convinced that Garth is just Joe putting on a slightly different voice.

There's no fooling me.

You're just trying to sex up the show by pretending Joe's a big hot shot film director.

Oh, yeah.

He'll be a big hotshot film director in no time, don't worry.

Now here's a final eggnemonic.

It says, if it floats to the top, your guts may rot.

If it sinks to the bottom, they'll be less rotten.

They'll be less rotten.

They'll be less rotten would have worked just as well.

That's from Tom in Canterbury.

Quite good though, I think, Tom.

Cheers for that, and thanks for all those eggnemonics.

Now, it is almost time for the news.

Do you enjoy news, Garth?

What's your favourite kind of news?

Ooh, I like exciting news.

Do you?

I like good news.

Yeah, good news is my favourite, but exciting good news you can't beat.

Right.

Well, let's see if there's any exciting good news in the news right now, which is read, I believe, by Catherine Cracknell.

On digital radio and online, BBC 6Music.

Missing Shannon talks to police how to water down your bills and start as you mean to go on, Lewis gets pole.

And in 6Music news, Vampire Weekend storms South by Southwest, Vincent Vincent and the Villains celebrate album launch and Michael Jackson gets to keep Neverland Ranch.

BBC News at 10.30, I'm Catherine Cracknell.

West Yorkshire detectives are putting questions to nine-year-old Shannon Matthews today.

About the last three weeks, the missing schoolgirl turned up at a block of flats a mile away from her home in Dewsbury, where police broke down the door and arrested an uncle of her stepfather on suspicion of abduction.

Charlotte Thornton is a friend of Shannon Matthews' family.

The mother of murdered British teenager Scarlett Keeling has been speaking to police in Goa.

Fiona McEwen says she was questioned as a witness.

In other6musicnews, a murder hunts underway in Liverpool after a cyclist was pulled off her bike and stabbed to death.

She was attacked after a row with a pair of women in a car in Anfield last night.

A man's been charged with the murder of a month-old baby boy found with a head injury at a flat in Cornwall.

Riley Saunders died in hospital a few days later.

Small households are paying too much for their water.

That's according to the Environment Minister.

Phil Wallace says they're subsidising customers with metres.

Water bills are set to rise by around 6% next month and customers are being urged to get water metres to cut costs.

But around 2 million properties, most of them flat, where metres can't be fitted.

Andy White from the Consumer Council for Water.

It's certainly the case that there are properties that couldn't be metered without some alterations to the pipe work or alterations to fixtures such as kitchen cupboards and things of that nature to allow them to be metered.

So these are not insurmountable, but there is also a scheme to help those that just can't have a meter.

Six Music Sport, Rugby and Britain's Lewis, not Rugby, Motor Racing and Britain's Lewis Hamilton is on pole position for tomorrow's season-opening Australian Formula One Grand Prix in Melbourne.

Robert Kubica of BMW is second, with Hamilton's team-mate Heike Kovalainen in third.

Six Music News now, here's Elizabeth Ocker.

Six Music News.

It's day 4 of the South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas and last night Vampire Weekend ended their run of shows on a high.

They played several tracks off their debut, self-titled debut album in a set which ended with a mass sing-along.

Make Model also played last night as part of an NME showcase.

They told 6music they were glad to finish their record in time for the events.

I think we found out maybe two or three months ago, we were kind of like, it was quite a kind of late call for us to come out because we weren't sure whether or not we were going to be sort of finished the record and everything was going to be done in time for us to be out here.

We managed to kind of pool together enough shows out here to end up being extremely busy.

It's worked out pretty good actually.

The Music Week programme on 6music is coming live from Texas this week, so you can hear more from the festival on Sunday at 1 o'clock.

In other 6music news, Vincent Vincent and the Villains celebrated the release of their debut album last night at a special show at Madame Jojo's in London.

The band have just signed to the troubled label EMI and say they know all about the bad press it's been having after a private equity firm took over.

Obviously people we know within the label have gone, so that's been a bit strange, but it's not been too bad.

I mean, it certainly hasn't affected the album, its promotion and stuff.

We've been forced to be familiar with it because it's all over the press.

When it's in the press, you can't not read it, you know.

And finally, it looks like Michael Jackson will not be losing ownership of his Neverland Ranch after all.

A private investment firm has stepped in to help the singer with his debts.

But according to Jackson's family, a sheriff's raid on the property in 2003 has destroyed any fond feelings he once had for the Neverland Ranch.

That's 6 Music News, your next bulletin is at 11.30.

6 on Monday from 9.30.

6 Music plays it again.

Hey Birdidly with Roger Daltrey.

2 minute teardrop for one heart to be cryin' 2 minute teardrop for one heart to be cryin'

And then I'm gonna put you Way downhill

And when the sun comes up, I'll be on top You'll be right down there, looking up And I might wave, come up here But I don't see you, waving now I'm way down here, wondering how I'm gonna get to you But I know now I'll just cry, cry

Too many teardrops For one heart To be crying Too many teardrops For one heart To carry on You're gonna cry 96 tears You're gonna cry 96 tears You're gonna cry Cry, cry, cry now You're gonna cry

96 tears, come on, let me hear you cry now.

96 tears, woo, I wanna hear you cry.

Night and day, yeah, all night long.

96 tears, cry, cry, cry.

Come on, baby, let me hear you cry now.

All night long.

96 tears, yeah, come on now.

96 tears.

Question Mark and the Mysterians with 96 Tears.

It's possible to track that song down fairly easily but not so easy to find other stuff by Question Mark and the Mysterians.

I wouldn't know that's very much your kind of thing.

I really love that song though that's a smash.

I even like the Stranglers version of that song.

It's a brilliant version.

You know it's not bad they stay pretty faithful to it.

Hey, you're listening to Six Music.

My name is Adam Buxton.

Joe's away this week.

My friend Garth Jennings is filling in for him.

Hello.

A couple of texts just before we get into Text the Nation.

These are texts just about other stuff, mainly about eggs, actually, and other things, though.

Axe AKS writes, hi, Adam and Garth.

Can you read out my text?

Because Joe never does.

Love, Axe.

Well, that was a good one.

That's the main reason people text, I find, is just to say, hi I'm texting.

What's weird is like they do that on the Steve Wright Sunday love songs.

Oh yeah.

People leave messages and they say could you say hello to my wife because she's brilliant and I love her very much.

Well that's a proper message.

And they never actually do, he never says hello on their behalf but they always, they don't say it themselves.

Right, right.

Always asking Steve to say it and... The implication is that Steve's saying no.

yeah new new new new new overruled yeah um and what we had a couple of oh yeah we've got we've got a nice picture of an egg here thanks very much uh who's this from tobias my egg was delicious yeah this is i think this is maybe from tobias's wife because it says my husband was disappointed with the quality of the egg white oh well that's a little bit um

But she was, you know, she was happy.

There were people that were, and I must admit that I'd forgotten that some people have electric cookers.

Right.

I've got the old-fashioned old gas thing, and if you leave your pan on the electric one, it's still pretty hot.

Sorry about that, electric people.

But, I mean, they must have got the, the idea was to kill the heat so they could have just removed the pan?

Yeah, but I'd said trust in me.

Oh, I see.

Trust in me and I will lead you, and they did, and I didn't lead very well.

It's a grotesque mockery of the thing made.

Okay, I think it's time for... Text the nation.

Text, text, text.

Text the nation.

What if I don't want to?

Text the nation.

But I'm using email.

Is that a problem?

It doesn't matter.

Text!

It's the nation's favourite feature.

This must be exciting for you, Garth, to be part of the nation's favourite feature.

This is what it's all about.

This is the feature.

It's a brand new kind of innovation in radio.

We ask, we talk about a thing and then we ask you to send us messages about that thing.

That's what Text-A-Nation is basically about.

And this is inspired this week by the fact that I had a little brain memory wave about a service that was popular when I was a child, around about 10 years old, so 1981, 82 maybe.

And it was called Dial A Disc.

Don't know if you remember this listeners, but you would dial 160 on your old BT phone and you could choose to listen to any chart single that you wanted to down your crappy phone line.

Yes!

Wow!

in those days there was no warning before you listen to the song I think I'm right in saying there was no warning about the cost that would be incurred because of course there was a cost as far as I was concerned being a young 10 year old having never bought a single from a shop before and the whole idea was a little scary going out buying investing in pop music what's next you know probably crack but you would dial 160 and you'd listen to the song and it would be like oh

orchestral maneuvers in the dark this is amazing i want to hear souvenir by omd again so you would uh listen to that and tears for fears i remember listening to mad world over and over again thinking this is brilliant obviously i can't buy the single that would be too scary i'd have to go to wh smith's and pay 99p for it so instead i'll just listen to it over and over on dial-a-disc until my dad found out it's a it was about 50p a call it was something like that it was really steep

And I don't know if there was a scandal about it or not, but basically loads of children like myself who were just having a laugh.

I mean, there was the novelty factor as well, you know, of hearing music down the phone.

It seemed incredibly futuristic.

Have it when you wanted it.

Yeah.

It seemed, it seemed outrageous.

So it was a brilliant way, a brilliant way of getting kids to

Pay money for music in those days and now of course with the music industry and turmoil.

That's what that's the Holy Grail That's what everyone's trying to force the kids to do is part with their money But how that's the question when music is so freely available online and from illegal file sharing sites

How do you get the kids to part with their money in a way that is similar in brilliance to dial-a-disc?

You know what I mean?

So that's what we want you to text in about, listeners.

We want your ideas about how the music industry can earn a few quid from the kids.

you got any ideas there Garth?

Well I was thinking you've got to kind of turn music into stuff you've got to make it part of something else right like part like people have got their ringtones now yeah and I got given I think by Joni actually a a cake knife this is your grandma my grandma yes a cake knife that plays different songs depending on the occasion you're using the cake knife for it sounds like a nightmare yeah it

I love my grandma very much, but it was a shocker.

And yeah, so you could press a birthday one and I was just thinking, you know, you just have utensils like a bottle opener or something that plays, you know, suitable party hits as you're unscrewing your thing.

And then I thought about like ice cream vans and instead of them just playing those old weird records that go

that they would just play the hits, and you could go up and buy the hits they were playing.

What, that would be a nightmare!

You're just trying to sanction vans blaring out music.

Well, but that's what it's like round my way anyway.

Is it?

Yeah, not ice cream vans, but just like the cars going, you know, and you just, you kind of like getting them anyway, so I figure, hey, that guy could pull over and sell that track.

Exactly, what about going a different route, getting some of those guys with those cars, what about getting them just to sell ice cream?

Yeah, that would be great!

want?

I want an ice cream!

I can't hear you!"

So that's a good idea.

Here's an idea I had, and I think this is a goer.

I mean I can see this being implemented by the end of the month.

um supermarket stereo trolleys yeah i don't know why i'm saying that you plug in your so you get your trolley right you in some branches of saints or whatever you have to put a quid in anyway to release the trolley then there's another slot uh to the left of that where you put another quid in and you have access to the music library contained within the handle of your shopping trolley

and then you plug in your own headphones if you're squeamish about using other people's headphones or you can use one of the headphones provided in the shop I don't know how you would do that but you would say you plug in your headphones and then you could select from a library of music

while you shop.

Now, the obvious thing the obvious thing to say against that is well, you know, what's to stop you bringing your own mp3 player if you want to listen to music and that's not the point.

The whole thing about these goofy music innovations is that it's just the novelty of the thing.

Yes, that gets people to part with their money when you were phoning in to dial a disc, you know You were getting super crappy quality on these songs.

There was nothing great about Listening to it was just fun to listen to it down the phone as opposed to on your stereo Yeah, not I mean they could also like use the fact you're plugged into headphones say hey, how you doing?

Exactly.

Look at the fish today.

It's right fresh.

Sorry to interrupt your Luther Vandross record We've got some salmon.

That's good.

Exactly.

I see you are enjoying hot chip

Have you checked out Frozen Chips on BioFi?

Awful kind of links to the songs you like.

Exactly.

I'm sure we could come up with those as well, but that's another thing.

You enjoy Duffy?

Maybe you might be interested in this?

Catch up!

I don't know why Duffy would have anything to do with that.

But anyway, you get the idea.

So we want to hear your suggestions for new gimmicks the record industry can use to boost their revenue.

All right, that's text the nation this week.

Get texting right now 64046 or you can email us adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.

It's time for some British Sea Power here on BBC Six Music.

you

Forget the rest of the show A man with a skull and bone You think you know but you don't It's all from high ago Not too long ago Several weeks have passed come We can beat them all

We're caught in a castle Around eight-twenty years And it's the last we'll do The wind in your hair

Allons-y, let's go You can always just say no To the anti-aircraft crew The boys from the Hitler Youth Silk and cyanide Six weeks left to live Left us cold and bold You think you know, but you don't So don't cry, we'll go

Several least of us can And we can beat them up We've collected the same Around eight-twenty years But it's a loss for us

Is that what the future holds?

Six Music.

On Monday, Six Music will be giving away a limited number of tickets to a very special gig.

Listen after four on Monday afternoon to find out more.

Radiohead at the BBC.

Six Music.

Express yourself, express yourself You don't never need help from nobody else

Got to do now.

Express yourself.

Whatever you do, do it good.

Whatever you do, do, do, la la.

Doing good.

Oh, yeah.

It's not what you look like when you're doing what you're doing.

It's what you're doing when you're doing what you look like you're doing.

Express yourself.

In the jungle too Everybody on the floor now Jumping like a kangaroo So let the horns do what they do y'all

you

Some people have everything and other people don't.

But everything don't mean a thing if it ain't the thing you want.

Express yourself.

Spread yourself.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Spread cell, spread cell, spread cell, spread cell

Express yourself, that's Charles Wright there, with the, what's the name of the whole, oh yeah, the 103rd Street Rhythm Band.

What's 103rd Street Rhythm Band?

That's Eazy E's uncle, isn't it?

I have no idea.

You're the pop guy, you've got to know this stuff.

I think it's, I think maybe it was his uncle Charles Wright.

Right.

I'm sure one of our listeners can correct me if I'm wrong.

And thanks very much for all your texts and emails for Textination this week.

We'll be reading some of those out shortly.

We're asking you to text in about how you would revolutionize, well, save the ailing music industry, you know?

How are you going to get the kids to part with their dough for music, basically?

That's what everyone... Gimmicks.

That's the Holy Grail.

That's what we need now.

Yeah.

Now Garth, my guest this week, we don't have, we've never had guests.

Me and Joe, as long as we've been on the radio, we've never ever had guests.

But you are filling in for Joe this week because he's away in America.

And as well as being an old friend of ours, you're a film director.

I am.

Well done.

I'm having a go.

Well done.

Giving it a shot.

And you have a film coming out very shortly, do you not?

It comes out on April the 4th.

Right.

Here in the UK.

And it's called Son of Rambo.

And Rambo is spelt R-A-M-B-O-W.

Yeah, we put a W on the end just so it wouldn't upset anyone.

And it's just pure coincidence that it's coming out merely a month or something after... Oh, unbelievable.

Well, I started writing this eight years ago.

Yeah.

And at that time Rambo was over.

And our little film is based on First Blood.

When I was a kid, I saw First Blood when I shouldn't have done.

I was a bit too young for it.

But it blew our minds, my friends and I. And we started making our own home movie versions of First Blood.

And they're fantastically awful and brilliant sort of little home movies.

And so we've written a whole movie about two little kids making their sequel to Rambo.

In the early 80s.

Set in the early 80s.

And it's a sort of very sweet, very silly coming of age

movie with lots of action and adventure thrown in so the premise is sort of autobiographical but so the things that happened to them none of that happened to you though right no i started off being based on my own experiences and then i realized i'd had far too good a time and there was no conflict whatsoever yeah so we started to and we wanted to turn it into a proper movie so yeah that's what we did that's why it took so long and but you got the film made fairly quickly though didn't you in the end

Yeah, well it took ages to get the money.

But then once we got it, it was 40 days to shoot, four weeks to cut, and our first screening was a week after we finished, completed the film, which was at the Sundance Film Festival.

And that was bizarre because, you know, no one had seen it.

And the first time anyone saw it was there.

It was an amazing, phenomenal response.

Yeah, because it's a sweet, sort of unassuming film.

I hope you don't think I'm kind of damning it with faint praise by saying that, you know.

But yet there was this overwhelming response in Sundance, wasn't there?

It was nuts, and no one could have predicted it.

We were terrified about showing it because we'd lost sight of it as well.

When you watch a film loads and loads and loads of times, you begin not to sort of feel anything towards it, and you think, oh no, it's not working anymore.

So then you put it in front of 1200 people and you're terrified and then about 10 minutes in something happens with a tennis ball You'll see it in a few few weeks time Where they've got a really big reaction then from then on it was just you've got them

by the bits and yeah and it was amazing it was unbelievable because it went from this film that no one wanted to finance to a bidding war that night and by five o'clock the next morning they'd been bidding all through the night Paramount Vantage bought it yeah and they were we were in a little chalet and I'd gone to bed thinking this won't happen and when I woke up they were still downstairs signing the contract

It's like entourage.

It was crazy.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

Genuinely that is a true story and we could never have predicted it.

And you had, I remember you saying, was Bono in one of the screenings?

He came to that screening.

I don't know Bono.

Yeah.

He just happened to be in Sundance and he walked past us and then went in and sat down.

We're like, what's Bono doing here?

He's just around.

And suddenly everyone's like, oh nice!

I did it.

It's not my friend, I wasn't really dropping it.

I introduced the name drop for you there.

Good, okay, I feel absolved.

And then afterwards I was summoned for a little critique and he loved it.

there's a there's things he pointed out loads of things he loved about it one of them was the fact that uh there's a guide dogs for the blind for uh thing one of those yellow golden retrievers that used to be outside supermarkets he's like i've forgotten about those i totally forgotten about those little guide dogs you made him sound like a leprechaun he said hello he jumped out of a little cup yes your lucky charms you look at you you're all big there with your face

No, he was... I'm taking the mickey out of him.

He was really, genuinely sweet.

I bet.

We were on such a high because it worked.

That was the main thing.

We didn't think we were going to sell it, but he was very, very sweet to us.

How fantastic.

Oh, lovely.

So, and the posters are up all around town.

They're starting to go up.

They've put up big posters.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's very exciting.

You're on the Culture Show next week.

Oh, I think it's next week or something.

No, I think because the Culture Show goes out tonight, doesn't it?

I think... No, it's not tonight.

It's in a week or two.

I know, but it goes out on Saturdays.

It does, yes.

So next weekend you'll be on there and you get a grilling from Komode, right?

He had a little go, but I get to kill him.

The bequiffed film lunatic.

He loved Son of Rambo, but he was talking about another film I made which he didn't like quite so much.

There you go.

You'll have to watch The Culture Show next weekend to find out about that little on-screen spat with Komode.

And this is one of the tracks you've chosen for us right now.

This is on the soundtrack, is that right, of Son of Rambo?

It is, yeah.

It plays out at the end of the film and although it's kind of a classic, it's one that we just couldn't resist being the ending of our movie.

It's the cure.

I've never thought tonight I've never thought tonight

Make the shapes, must've lost Put my eyes out, hold my breath

Yes, I made myself some sick outside sleep today

BBC.

Six Music.

On digital.

Online.

BBC Six Music.

Adam and Joe's on Six Music.

You got, you got, you got

That's a new group.

They're called the Rolling Stones.

They're going to be big.

From the phrase, a rolling stone gathers no moss and they refuse to gather moss.

And that's their thing.

That's their gimmick.

And the lead singer is called Mick Jagger.

And they're going to be big apparently.

That one's called Start Me Up.

You're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.

Joe's away.

My friend Garth Jennings is filling in.

Hello there.

And we're going to catch up on some Texanation business right now.

Here's the jingle.

Text the nation!

Text!

Text the nation!

What if I don't want to?

Text the nation!

But I'm using email.

Is that a problem?

It doesn't matter!

Text!

And we're asking you to text in ideas to save the music industry.

Ways, gimmicks to make the kids part with their cash for music.

Have you got anything there?

Well I've got a good one here.

It says pop videos at the bottom of a pint glass in pubs.

Ten pence extra.

Great for lonely or boring people.

That's a good one.

Christian very bored and lonely in London fields.

See I think it's a very important thing to link some of those bad habits with music you know we're not saying this is necessarily right and for example my idea for having the musical trolleys in supermarkets in a way you could look at it as being sort of a nightmare because it's cutting people off even more from the world around them but then if you're making money off it and it's saving the record industry that's the most important thing.

So here's another idea that's not necessarily to be encouraged in a moral way.

Alcopop music.

As well as choosing what flavour of fizzy kid booze you're going to do your binging on.

Your little weekend binge drinking session for an extra quid.

you can choose what song the bottle plays, right?

And the bottle has little speakers in the label, right?

So it's a slightly thicker label, but they're terrible speakers.

I mean, they sound awful, right?

So you could barely hear it.

I mean, it would be really dreadful, but you listen to Duffy while you're having your alcopop coming out through these tinny little speakers.

And again, you see it's the novelty that excites the children.

So while they're getting blasted on the Alcapops, they can't believe that Duffy's actually coming out of the bottle.

Yeah, that would be incredible.

It would be amazing.

A bottle of Duffy.

Exactly.

Isn't that a Homer Simpson drink?

That's right, Duffy beer.

Yeah, sweet Duffy.

Delicious Duffy.

Here's another one from Matt.

Matt says, how about trainers with MP3s?

If you can add wheels, lights and the ability to inflate, then why not MP3s?

It'll be annoying, but so are most things these days.

It'd be good because then you could walk in time with it.

You could have like UltraVox Vienna.

That's right.

You could have a great walk.

And you could style your walk to that.

Like really good stompy tracks.

That's right.

If we're going up the hill, we've got to go up the hill folks.

We'll need a fast track.

Dustpunk!

That would be great.

That wouldn't annoy anyone.

uh message here from jamie r he says my brother has a toothbrush that plays queens we will rock you powered by the kinetic energy of the toothbrushing process it's exactly the right length for a healthy brush which is excellent i think this idea could be implemented in a number of other bathroom products such as combs or toilet paper

Good thinking on the toilet paper there.

The extractor fan could play music to drown out the horrible sound of its whirring suck, making the bathroom time relaxing again.

Many thanks for your time.

You're welcome, Jamie.

Thanks for your message.

There's loads of things you could do in the bathroom, certainly.

I mean, the Japanese have a thing because they're so embarrassed by toilet sounds that the sound of a toilet flushing plays out like Muzak in many Japanese public toilets.

But you know, they're missing a trick.

Surely they could just have music.

Yeah, don't you think?

Just a bit louder.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Actual music to cover the sound.

Or you could just have the sound of someone making those noises you make to cover it yourself.

Oh, I see, not like... No, no, because you're trying to hide that, so you sort of, or the actual sound of things going on, where you sort of go... You know, so you could just have that play.

Or record it.

Or record it, to save you doing it.

That's demented.

Allianz Sub6 says...

says oh here's another one uh i just she writes ooh at the beginning that's why i read that out ooh another one wardrobes that play music to get you in the mood for whatever you're dressing for oh that's a brilliant idea yeah so you'll get you know saturday night you're getting changed well that is saturday night by wickfield isn't it right so that would be one of your options you know and you load you load up the track whatever's appropriate to where you're going if you're going to some

uh you know young person young person's golf golf club yeah young person's golf club yeah then you can put your um your music in there wedding or a funeral you could have anything that's right um i mean i've got to put my clothes on but i don't want to feel happy about this that's right something dour

Stick on a little bit of Radiohead there or some early Cure.

That'll get you in the mood for wherever you're going.

That's a very good idea.

Thanks for that, Allie and Sussex.

Keep those ideas coming in for Text The Nation.

We want to save the record industry and your gimmicks will help do that.

After this next track, I think we should do the whole link as Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

Okay.

But right now here's Black Keys with Strange Times.

Bless my myth, bless my myth it would

That's the black keys with strange times.

I was thinking we can't, if we do the whole Lincoln Stanley Lewis, people will go mental.

We should, we should explain that, um, we were talking about there will be blood, the Paul Thomas Anderson film that won all them Oscars and Garth saw it a while back.

I only just saw it and I was really knocked out by it.

I just, I wasn't against it.

I just have never seen anything quite so bananas.

I didn't know what was going on toward the end there.

Yeah.

It's extraordinary.

My thesis is that it's a comedy.

Yeah, but that's, I think you've got it wrong.

I don't think they were going for comedy there.

Do you not?

No.

I think it's called There Will Be Blood because it's pretty damn serious.

No, I don't believe you.

It's not like diddly diddly diddly.

No, no, it's not like Benny Hill, but it's it's it's very funny I mean, I'm sure it's intentionally funny and he gives an amazing performance Daniel Day-Lewis.

No question about it He deserves his statue.

This is why I found it so confusing because everything was amazing about it Yeah, just didn't I was thinking what is who's the guy with the thing then?

Who's the brother and then why is he doing that?

yeah why is he hurting that man he's got a twin you what yeah yeah yeah yeah we're not giving anything away by the way if you haven't seen it but um it is an amazing performance i mean whether you like Paul Tom Sanderson or not or whatever it's you gotta see it i mean boy and there are moments that i just i cannot believe that they were not going for something comedic and the last line of the film which i won't give away

But there's an extraordinary scene, amazingly climactic scene in this film.

And then when... Don't give it away.

No, I can't.

Can I?

But it's funny.

It's a funny line and I think it's played for laughs.

I think a lot of the lines there are played for laughs.

I'm sure.

Do you not reckon?

What about our favorite lines there?

I've loaded a few of our favorite lines into the computer.

Even though I thought it was bananas, I cannot stop thinking about him and trying to impersonate him.

Because he's so strange.

You basically talk like this, don't you?

I've come a long way to be here tonight with my son H.W.

It's almost like Agent Smith from the Matrix, you know?

Yes, you have to take a big breath before you start talking.

That's the key, I think.

Start with that.

There's a great scene towards the end where he's trying to explain the process of

drilling for oil and nicking the oil from someone else's kind of plot.

Yeah.

You know?

And he starts talking about the milkshake.

Imagine you have a milkshake.

I have a straw and I put my straw way over here and I drink your milkshake.

Let's hear him actually doing it.

I drink your milkshake.

I drink it up!

It's like that all the way through.

And he's shaking with rage as he's saying it.

I drink your milkshake!

I'd like a t-shirt with that on it.

I think they're going for that in America because it's become a catchphrase over there.

I'm sure they're the paramount guys put out flyers with I drink your milkshake and then when you open it up it says I drink it all up and there was a voucher I'm not kidding you there was a voucher for the smoothies at the local um I'm not kidding this is a genuine publicity thing because people just running around going I drink your milkshake I drink it up

You could see that happening in cafeterias and at school.

What are you doing?

I'm drinking your milkshake!

I'm drinking your milkshake, you boy!

And then of course the scene that they show on all the TV programs and all the award ceremonies is certainly, it's an amazing scene.

It's when Daniel Day-Lewis' character Daniel Plainview is being humiliated in church by this preacher man that he's trying to negotiate with to drill for oil on the land that he owns.

in return for the right to to be able to drill he has to basically say whatever this preacher man makes him say even though he's not a religious person you know and so he's he's basically made to say all these dreadful things including i've abandoned my boy i've abandoned my boy and he ends up just yelling it i've abandoned my boy

Let's have a quick listen to that clip.

I've abandoned my child!

I've abandoned my boy!

My boy!

It's a good scene though.

That one's not played for laughs.

I mean, I reckon the milkshake one is, definitely.

Do you know what though?

In that scene I think there is a laugh towards the end where it feels like he's kind of spun it back to his own way.

Yes, yes.

It's like, I've said it now, now I'm coming for you.

You know what I mean?

It's kind of quite funny.

Let me get out of here!

Yes, I'm done now.

I'm done now!

It's amazing and then there's a very chilling scene as well when he is having a meeting with this big oil company who want to buy his operation off him and he's basically saying I won't there's no way I'm gonna sell to you and

He eventually just starts randomly threatening this guy because he thinks that he's being insulted by this bloke.

This guy is casting aspersions on the way he's raised his child.

Well doesn't he just say, hey Daniel, you know, if we give you this, buy this off you, you'll have loads of money for your family.

Exactly.

And then that just...

sets him off yeah because he's feeling guilty about the fact that he's uh he's abandoned his boy and then he it culminates with him with him just threatening this guy we got a clip of that one night i'm gonna come to you inside of your house wherever you're sleeping and i'm gonna cut your throat i'm gonna cut your throat that's nice isn't it yeah lovely little the guy says well what did you say it's brilliant scene because the guy responds in a way that you you really would in that situation you know it's not all kind of lyrical his responses are just like what

Wait, wait, wait.

What are you saying?

What are you talking about?

Hang on a sec.

Yeah.

It's mental.

You've got to see that film.

It is.

It is worth seeing, but I still think bonkers.

I mean, it's nuts.

But the thing is with Oscar films, sometimes you go and see them and you think I'm, I've never been so bored in my life.

Oh no, you won't be bored.

You will not be bored.

I mean, it is just fantastic.

Johnny Greenwood from Radiohead as well provides this extraordinarily unsettling score.

Yeah, because for loads of time, there's not actually

anything happening.

Yeah.

And it's going... But it's exciting though, I mean I was never bored for a second.

No but that's what I mean, you're thinking oh my, it's like music that someone's gonna die soon and then they don't and you've been on the edge of your seat for ten minutes.

Yeah.

Wow.

But it's fun, I defy you not to spend quite a long time talking like Daniel Day-Lewis.

I like my egg properly boiled.

What are we watching?

I don't like this program on television, turn it over, I want to watch Saturday Night Takeaway with that.

I love Ant and Dec!

I drink their milkshake!

I drink it up!

Anyway, highly recommended.

Here's a track that I've chosen for you, listeners.

This is an old one from the Cocteau Twins.

You remember this one, Garth?

Oh, I bought this on cassette single.

Yeah, this one from one of their most successful albums, Heaven or Las Vegas, and it's called Ice Blink Luck.

You're all I could love, there's a bottle of explicitly

I say, you'll see more like me.

But there's a bottle of explicit stuff.

Is you all that much?

Your cherry cold hand will burn.

Sizzle my mouth down on the floor.

Open wide.

Don't look so hot in your old ways You're really both both setters than you four men

BBC 6 Music.

On the Music Week this week we've got all the best bits from South by Southwest as Matt joins us live from Texas.

Tune in for all the biggest news, interviews and live music and we speak exclusively to Muses Matt Bellamy about their plans for the future.

That's the special transatlantic edition of the Music Week.

Tomorrow from 1.

The Music Week at South by Southwest.

6 Music.

BBC 6 Music.

In session for 6.

You're running circles around you sooner than you know A little off-center and I'm out of tune He's kicking this can along the avenue But I'm alright Cause it's easy once your mohaw is done You can't stop now it's already begun You feel it running through your bones

and you jerk it out.

Jerk it out.

Shut up, hush your mouth, can't you hear you talk too loud?

No, I can't hear nothing, cause I got my head up for the crowd.

I bite off an internet I can't shoot.

I'm chasing cars up and down the air.

And you jerk it out

Cause it's easy, cause you know how it's done You can't jump now, it's already begun You leave it running through your bones And you jerk it out And you jerk it out

That's the Caesars with Jerk It Out.

That was recorded for Six Music for a special session at Maida Vale on the 17th of April 2003.

Back in the good old days.

You're listening to BBC Six Music.

I'm Adam Buxton.

Who are you?

I'm Garth Jennings.

I'm not Joe.

No, you're not Joe.

You're filling in for Joe.

He's away at the moment in Los Angeles.

He'll be back next week.

Don't forget, of course, folks, if you're a fan of the show, if you've missed anything, you can always listen again online.

You go to the BBC Six Music website and you'll find

It's fairly simple isn't it?

You just sort of type in Adam and Joe listen again and you'll find it like that.

Or of course you can always listen to our excellent podcast.

I got in a bit of trouble because we did an interview for Broadcast magazine, it's a sort of industry mag, talking about the fact that Joe and myself might be doing some new podcasts or kind of an, or maybe an album even for iTunes.

of new spoken word stuff.

Anyway, in the course of that, I sort of said how much I enjoyed doing specially recorded sessions, non-live sessions, and then editing down the stuff.

I said, you know, sometimes it's a more enjoyable process than doing the live podcast, you maybe get better stuff.

Anyway, it came out all wrong, and the way it was written up in broadcast made it look as if I was dissing the

You were saying, I hate doing this show.

No, I hate basically saying, Oh, I hate the BBC podcast.

What we do would be much better.

And that's not the case at all.

Listeners, our podcasts are great and we hope you're downloading them and enjoying them.

And we very much appreciate all the hard work that goes into creating them.

That's done by our team here at Jude, our producer and Claire.

So, uh, for goodness sake, you know, don't if you read broadcast,

Don't.

All of you.

Stop it.

Put it down.

No, it's nicer broadcast to, uh, you know, be talking about what we're doing, but loving the podcasts and don't think any different.

So check them out right now.

It's time for the news, ladies and gentlemen, read by Catherine Cracknell.

on digital radio and online BBC six music detectives talk to Shannon Airport security alert suspects in court and carrying on carry on and in six music news British band Storm South by Southwest Vincent Vincent and the villains villains launch record and Michael Jackson saved by investors

BBC News at 11.30, I'm Catherine Cracknell.

Police in West Yorkshire are trying to find out what happened to Shannon Matthews, the nine-year-old girl who disappeared more than three weeks ago.

She was found yesterday at a flat less than a mile from her home in Dewsbury.

Shannon's now seen both her parents but is still in the care of social services.

Richard Edwards is from the Yorkshire Evening Post.

He says people on her estate have been celebrating.

The sense of elation and jubilation was just incredible.

It really swept across the estate and people were out of their houses and they deserved that party last night knowing that one of their own was missing and she was going to be coming home.

People never wavered from that and they always stuck very tightly to the hope.

But privately people were telling me that they had been preparing for the worst.

The mum of murdered British teenager Scarlett Keeling has been talking to detectives in Goa.

Fiona McEwen was summoned.

Karishma Vaswamy is in Goa for us.

What she told us they asked her was to repeat everything she's already told them before.

Now people have questioned for an hour and 45 minutes in the headquarters of Goa's police force here and she was asked to repeat her statement as a witness to tell the police everything that she could remember.

In other 6MusicNews, police in Cornwall have charged a man with the murder of a month-old baby found in a flat with a head injury.

Riley Saunders was discovered in a critical condition earlier this month in Tor Point.

A man's been found dead in the centre of Nottingham.

It's not yet known how he died.

His body was recovered from a canal this morning.

A Sri Lankan man appeared in court charged with endangering an aircraft after sparking a major security alert at Heathrow.

27-year-old Kathiswaran Uthayakumar was arrested near the northern runway of the airport on Thursday.

He's been remanded in custody.

And a new Carry On film is on the cards 40 years after the series first began.

A final script for Carry On London has been signed off and it could be in cinemas by the end of the year.

6 Music News now.

Here's Elizabeth Alka.

6 Music News.

The South by Southwest Festival is well underway and last night was a good night for British bands.

Make Model, British Seapower and the Rascals all played to a packed out venue in Austin, Texas.

Vampire Weekend also played and they told Six Music who their favorite band of the event has been.

We saw White Williams at the Domino's showcase.

It was fantastic.

He's one of the best bands out there right now.

You can tell that he's just kind of experimenting as he's performing and I think that's always something that's appealing in a live performance.

In other6musicnews, Vincent Vincent and the Villains launched their debut album in style last night.

The band played a special show at Madame Jojo's in London.

They've just signed to EMI to release the record which is called Gospel Bombs.

Here's Tom and Will.

It's kind of songs that were written four years ago up until present.

Yeah, we're not one of those bands who've just like formed a year ago and sprouted.

We've been around for a while.

We wanted to get it right and it sounds really good.

If we'd done it in a hurry, I don't think we'd be half as pleased with it.

I think people are really liking it as well.

And finally, Michael Jackson will not be losing ownership of his Neverland Ranch thanks to a private investment firm who have stepped in to help the singer with his debts.

Jackson has been living abroad in other properties and with friends since fond memories of the ranch were destroyed by sheriffs in a raid in 2003.

That's Six Music News and exporting is at 12.30.

For Monday, we've got Diamond Dogs on the show.

No, we're not reliving Cruft.

They are the directors behind visuals for the likes of Maximo Park and The Cribs, and now Sonny J and Enfant Hariba.

That's this week's video of the week.

We go behind the scenes later.

Join me, Nemone, from One.

She don't want no rock and roll She want platinum, ice and gold She want a whole lot of something to fold If you a obstacle, she just drop you cold Cause one monkey don't stop the show Little Mary's bad In these streets she don't land Ever since when the heat began I told her girl look here, calm down I'ma hold your hand

And I'm keeping my secrets, my secrets.

Push for life.

It's gonna work because I'm pushing it right.

If Barry dropped my baby girl tonight, I would name her Rock.

The legacy I leave behind Be the seed that'll keep the flame I don't ask for much, but enough room to spread these wings And the world finna know my name

And kick when his s*** don't fall in my hands, man.

Cause I know how to steal, but I'm not a lover.

But yes, my love is real.

I lick the opposition cause she don't take no pill.

Ooh, what do you love, dear?

You'll be keeping my legend alive.

If Mary dropped my baby girl tonight I would name her Rock and Roll

I push my seat and I push for life It's got all worth it

so check it out

Yes, that's right, it's Song Wars time and this week our songs feature members of our family.

Garth has recorded a version of I'm Still Standing by Elton John featuring his gran.

Joni!

Joni, yeah.

And I have done a song with my dad, Nigel Buxton, aka Bad Dad, which is a kind of rap.

And they're sort of longer than usual, so let's just get on and play them.

You went first last time, so I'll go first this time.

This is my Bad Dad rap.

I'm bad dad I am the badder dadder I was mad before Now you've made me even madder There's a hole in the roof And I haven't got my ladder Cause you borrowed it And failed to give it back

B-triple-A-D-D-A-D, I'm the head of the mother-loving Buxton family.

Children got a problem, they bring it to me.

I don't solve it, but I'm fairly sympathetic.

I've worked many years with the Sunday Telegraph.

They called me travel editor.

It really was a laugh.

I travelled the world from the north to the south, and it paid for my children's education.

Now my children are fully grown I live on the downs in a house on my own I drink red wine like coke you roll And I listen to a little bit of Vaga

Tidy up the room, fool.

Get your hair cut.

When are you going to get a decent job?

For goodness sake, pass the courvoisier.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Whose yo-yo is this?

I watch TV from time to time, but most of what I see is a mother-loving crime.

Nigella Lawson, that woman is fine, but Ewan McGregor is appalling.

Russell Brown, he's a loathsome creep.

Davina McCall, she makes me weep.

Simon Sharma, stick him on the heap, and don't get me started on Kopinski.

Don't push me, cause I'm close to the hedge, and I'm carrying quite

I dislike Fiona Bruce.

It's very difficult to say why.

I think that is fantastic.

He explained to me about Fiona Bruce afterwards and his problem with Fiona Bruce is that he thinks she acts out the news too much.

He likes his news to be delivered more dispassionately, you know?

I can understand that.

She throws herself into all the stories too much for my doubt.

so now let's listen to yours Garth okay should i explain it yeah quick okay this is Joni my grandma and uh i didn't have time to really write a song so really you're kind of the winner by default well done but i've got to give credit to my grandma here because she does a belting version of i'm still standing by Elton John let's hear that you could never know what it's like your blood's like the winter freezes just like ice and there's a cold lonely light that shines from you you end up like the wreck you hide the people in that mask you use

If you think that school could never win Well look at me, I'm coming back again I've got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know why I'm still standing You just fade away Don't you know I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win Started down the road leaving me again The threats you made were meant to cut me down And if a laugh was just a circus You'd be a clown by now Don't you know that I'm still standing Better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor Feeling like a little kid

After all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm still standing, yeah, yeah I'm still standing, yeah, yeah

That's Joni.

Joni Graham, my Grandma.

Joni Mitchell.

That's great.

I'm Still Standing.

That's Garth's tune there.

You can vote only by email this week for Song Wars.

No text votes please for Song Wars.

They won't be counted and you may lose your money and there's no way that you'll ever get it back.

and we won't be held responsible so please only email votes for Text-A-Nation no no no for Song Wars this week email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk vote either for Bad Dad or Joni Joni okay come on Joni we are going to conclude Text-A-Nation after this next track but here's Elbow for you with the bones of you

charging around with a juggernaut brow overdraft speeches and deadlines to make drumming commitments like cats in a sack telephone burn and a purposeful gate when out of the doorway the tentacles stretch of a song that I know in the world

Do I have time and none of my calipers stood in the street?

And I dealt with this years ago I took a hammer to every memento But image on image, light beats on a rosary Pulled through my head as the music takes hold And the sicker the hits, I can work till I break But I love the bones of you that I would

And I'm five years ago and three thousand miles away And I can't move my arms with fear that you will wake And I'm five years ago and three thousand miles away

And I'm five years ago And three thousand miles away And I'm five years ago

Textination.

Text.

Textination.

What if I don't want to?

Textination.

But I'm using email.

Is that a problem?

It doesn't matter.

Text.

Textination time.

Before that you heard Elbow with the bones of you.

Now we've got a lot of text to get through here.

Thank you very much to everybody who's emailed us and texted today.

Sorry if I didn't read out your message as usual.

Joe's usually on top of the emails and texts.

He does a pretty good job.

Are you saying I should have been doing that?

Well no, there's no way that you could have done it.

It's a mountain of paper that keeps coming in here.

Absolutely.

It's all recycled though, don't worry about it.

We're not killing the planet with your texts and emails.

Here's one from Jefferson in London.

This is on the subject of course of ways, gimmicks that the record industry can use to get money out of people for music.

How about a microwave that plays pop songs while you're waiting for your microchips to cook?

most meals take about three minutes which is the same time as most pop songs I'm surprised no one's invented this already that's a good one it's a good little bit of thinking there Jefferson because especially you know while they turn around that is a genius idea and you could buy little chips it could update yeah and you could have songs that fit certain lengths of cooking that's right for like song two is a good two minutes isn't it yeah yeah that's for quick stuff like you're reheating your porridge or something exactly it'll reheat

But then if you've got a baked potato there, you can have a bit of Prague.

Yeah, you could have, like, Paranoid Android.

Yeah.

And then your whole lasagna is ready.

Or some Orbital.

Ooh.

Which would be nice as well, while you're watching the... You sit there staring at it, turning around.

Potato rotating, exactly.

That's a good music video.

The Rotato.

That is a good idea.

Just watching something turn around.

Do you carry a little notebook around for jotting these ideas down in?

I should.

I do carry a notebook around, but I don't come up with... I haven't come up with many ideas.

Stick that one in the notebook.

That's going in.

Come on, the microwave.

Rotating food.

Cos it's always good to have a little one-shot idea that you can do for no money.

Yeah, that's always... Yeah, have them in the bank.

Exactly.

Nice.

That's all I've ever done.

Right, here's one from Derek in Lancaster.

Musical bubblegum.

yeah and he is funnily enough I had a similar idea I was thinking musical chewing gum and he hasn't quite worked out the logistics neither have I but basically the chewing releases a chemical that picks up certain radio frequencies right that play the selected singles into your head I mean this is a ridiculous idea in a way but you could have it so that it's a special chemical yeah that actually allows you for a minute to sing like that person well that would be better

It alters, it alters, uses the DNA of the original singer and it drips down into your throat, alters your throat.

Yes.

And then you can sing like a guy that you like.

You can say I'm going to drink, I drink your milkshake.

You know like helium, that's what I'm thinking of.

You know when you get a balloon and you go and it changes your voice for a little bit.

Yeah.

Chewing gum that changes you to sound like Elvis Costello.

Well in Mission Impossible 3 they have the little voice changing thing, don't they?

When Tom Cruise dresses up as Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Yeah, be your favourite record.

That's right.

Thanks very much for that one Derek in Lancaster.

Jonathan in Leeds says, hi Joe and the other bloke.

That's me.

That's a little bit rude there Jonathan, he's Garth.

How about using pelican crossings, he says.

I actually had this idea as well.

Instead of the beep beep beep when the lights change, it could play a tune, right?

Cost a nominal fee to cross the road.

You know, maybe you're playing Eric, he calls him Eric Claptrap.

Crossroads or walk don't walk for from rat trap ha ha ha he says of course you can have walk this way By one TMC that would be good while you're crossing the road.

Here's a good idea from axe Music idea books that play music as you read them yeah like a film soundtrack and it encourages reading as well That's a good idea to encourage people you've got to read exactly because readings really good Harry Potter's finished No one's reading anymore

Is that true?

Yeah.

Well, people are depressed, aren't they?

They're seeking counseling because there's a big Potter shaped hole in their lives.

They're doing a good thing.

They're splitting up the last film, the last book into two films.

So they're stretching it out for us.

Oh my Lord.

How many films have we got to go then from Potter?

17 or 18.

Excellent.

Here's one from Geraldine.

I'm not going to get through all these now.

Here's one from Geraldine.

I was in so much as she was talking about the whole thing of dial-a-disc, yeah, which sparked off this whole thing.

Let's have, we've got a clip from the original dial-a-disc, what it used to sound like when you would phone up this thing.

And this must be from the late 70s because they're talking about the band Middle of the Road there.

Have a listen.

The dial-a-disc service is available

It's very muddy.

Ah, the comforting sound of the seventies.

Won't be selecting that.

Wow, there you go.

That's what it sounded like when you used to phone up.

And that was kind of the most streetwise voice that you could acceptably have on a public service like that, I think.

That would have been exciting if you were a kid, though.

In them days, yes, absolutely.

Well, Geraldine says, I was in so much trouble with my dad for excessive teenage phone use that my dad put a special lock on the phone dial.

Yeah, you could get those, couldn't you?

Because I was constantly doing dial-a-disc.

And my abiding memory was dancing around the phone and dancing around the phone in the hall to the tide is high by Blondie at least 20 times.

Thanks very much for that Geraldine.

Now we might have a couple more of these just before we say goodbye.

But right now here's the final of our three choices.

This one from Garth.

Oh yeah.

This is I Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode and it's from the soundtrack of Son of Rambo.

Remind us again when Rambo comes out?

Son of Rambo comes out April the 4th and you must go because I think you'll enjoy it and you'll see this song being used in a really rather peculiar way in a sixth form common room.

That's right.

When everyone's getting a bit nuts on space dust.

And I'm one of the teachers in the actual teachers common room of course.

Blink and you'll miss me.

Not there for very long, but long enough.

You're great.

Yeah, you can see it's me.

Go and see it, folks.

It's great.

I wonder what heavy beer.

And have a listen to this.

This is Depeche Mode.

And I just can't get enough Just like a rainbow you know you set me free And I just can't get enough And I just can't get enough

The mighty Depeche Mode.

I think they were never as good again, surely.

This was my favorite.

This is the best stuff.

I mean, it's hard to beat that, whatever band you are, really.

And that's featured, of course, in Son of Rama.

Yeah.

I'm so excited about that.

Go and see it.

Yes.

Thanks very much to Tom Rogers for sending through that clip of Dial-A-Disk that we played there before.

Really appreciate that, Tom, and thanks very much to everybody who texted and emailed us today.

We had loads of texts and emails, and I'm very sorry if I didn't read out yours, but we really do appreciate it.

We've got loads of good ones, especially for Text-A-Nation.

And don't forget of course that you can listen again to this show Throughout the week and you can download the podcast as well throughout the week but you have to be quick because it vanishes at the end of the week and Next Sunday, it will be replaced by podcast number nine Okay, the best thing is just to subscribe and then they flop into your box and

That's the sound they make as they flop.

Every week automatically.

Liz Kershaw is coming up.

Thank you so much to my guest presenter Garth Jennings.

Thank you for having me.

It's been brilliant fun.

And Joe will be back with you next week.

Have a good week.

Take care.

I love you.

Bye.

I drink it up!

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