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BBC 6 Music Adam and Joe Lumps sat alone in a boggy marsh Totally motionless except for her heart Mud flowed up into Lumps' pyjamas She totally confused all the passing piranhas She's lump, she's lump, she's in my head She's lump, she's lump, she's lump, she might be dead
She's in my head She's not, she's not, she's not She might be dead
She was limping on me and needed shoveling Slipped on a kiss and tumbled into life She spent a twenty between the sheets And life limped along with subsonic speeds She's lumped, she's lumped, she's in my head She's lumped, she's lumped, she's lumped, she might be dead
Is the slump out of my head I think so Is the slump out of my head I think so Is the slump out of my head I think so
Yeah, that's the presidents of the United States of America.
All of them.
Really?
Yeah.
And they got together and they did a kind of indie band for a while back in the 90s and that was one of their first big hits.
Really?
Wow.
I know the names of all the presidents of the United States of America in order.
What are they?
President Reagan George Bush Bill Clinton Tony Blair Tony Blair Yeah, yeah, that's good man.
It's impressive knowledge.
That's right back to the beginning of history as well the dawn of time dawn of time Reaganomics
Hello, this is Adam Buxton.
Hello, this is Joe Cornish.
It's a very nice morning here in London if you're listening live.
Hope it's nice.
Well, you asked for very windy though last night.
I think it's windy across the country.
Windy?
And I should warn you, last night I was sitting in the street in my car like I do every now and then.
Good times.
And I looked out the window and a man opened the door of his van.
He opened it against, no, into the wind so to speak.
Oh.
A very strong gust of wind caught the door.
And blew it right off.
Immediately pushed it back and buckled it.
And then he couldn't close it again because it wouldn't fit back in the frame.
Everyone lives in fear of that moment.
It was like his life had been suddenly ruined by a completely unpredictable sudden force of nature.
And about a minute later all his friends were gathered round and they were trying to ram the door shut.
They were trying to sort of batter the metal back into shape.
Wow.
It wouldn't happen.
It was like seeing an animal's arm wrenched off
oh it were the car and animal yeah and were the door and arm that sounds amazing uh be careful out there that's it's it was a hurricane would you say it was a hurricane my neighbor's motorbike fell over it's a hurricane he hasn't woken up yet he's gonna be angry it's a tornado in fact i would call it it's it's the wind of death the wind of the day calling it the wind of death that's what they should call in the papers because you know after the earthquake
The gusts of gloom.
The gusts of gloom.
There's catkins and twigs all over the road this morning.
The draft of Satan.
After the gust of Satan.
It was windy.
It was quite scary though.
Did you get scared last night?
Windows rattling?
No.
No?
I got a little bit scared.
I woke up, I was having rattly dreams.
And I woke up and.
Rattly dreams?
All the dreams were going rattly and I realised it was just the wind.
Shall we have some music?
What a show.
We can tell them about the show in a second.
What a show.
After the kills with, or just kills, don't know, with Cheap and Cheerful.
I'm bored of cheap and cheerful.
How long, expensive, sadness.
Open doors to madness I want you to be crazy cause you're bored
Cause you're born baby
It's kind of like a very excited marching band there who've been sniffing some Ajax or something.
She works on a production line making cars and she got very angry one afternoon and started hitting things.
They recorded the sound.
That's it.
And that was the kills, of course, with Cheap and Cheerful.
And she's very attractive, isn't she?
Really?
Yeah, lead singer of that band.
And she used to go out with the guy in the band, right?
They used to be married even, I think.
No, no, I'm just making that bit up.
But they're not together anymore.
It always amazes me when people are married, like supposedly Jack and Meg White were, and then they got divorced pretty much as soon as they started getting well known.
And then they forge on, you know?
It's got to be strange, don't you think?
Hmm.
Like, if you don't like each other enough to be married, how would you be able to withstand the pressures of being in a successful band?
It's just business, isn't it?
Just business.
Keep bread on the table.
Exactly.
It's a professional working relationship.
It's like you and me, isn't it?
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's like a couple of robots.
You know?
A couple of stupid robots.
Yeah.
So, folks, what a show we've got for you this week.
Great music as usual and wonderful chattel and chittle, but also the return of Song Wars.
And let me remind you that the theme for our return to Song Wars this week was we had to do... Joe had to do a French song about... Hang on, but before we get into that...
Yeah.
Can I ask you, are you angry with me for, uh, sort of foisting?
So, cause I did a bad thing.
I sort of forced you live on air to bring song wars back.
And that's a bit, you know, if I was responsible, I would have asked you off air politely.
So you could have said no without seeming like a sourpuss, but I sort of blackmailed you into it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I must say I slightly resented it this week when there was, you know, it was like the third day that I'd been working on the song.
And I'd gotten nothing else.
It's not that it's insane again.
It's demented.
A few listeners heard my last effort, which was the anti piracy song.
was good which was okay I had his moments but it was quite odd detect a little bit of false modesty modesty here no I'm genuinely you know the thing is that I saw you earlier in the week Joe and you said that you you'd got yours done quite easily again and I bet it'll be very good I didn't say it was easy did you know I just said it was it was yeah anyway no I'm glad I'm glad that song was his back I think is it good is it is fun
And the theme this week is foreign songs about actresses, is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Did you drop the actress component?
Absolutely not, I stuck to the rules.
No, I didn't, I stuck to the rules as well.
So, and it's a weird thing, it's quite difficult.
Yeah.
Quite difficult to be interesting in a foreign language.
It's the most difficult song wars I've ever done.
It's difficult to rhyme in a foreign language.
Impossible, did you use Baeble, the... C'est un possible.
Yes, I did.
You did.
That's a little preview.
The problem is that when you use these kind of online translation sites like Bable, if you type in the English phrase, it does a kind of manglerized translation.
So if you say a word like, she looks nice, then it'll kind of do a literal translation of each word.
So you'll get
That's how my lyrics have been written.
Right.
We're also looking for a Spanish person and a French person who might be able to help judge our songs.
If you speak fluent French or Spanish give us an email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk or text us 64046 with your phone number.
We will call you back, get you on air, and get you to judge the quality of our songs.
Adam's is in Spanish, mine's in French.
And yours is about which actress?
All of them.
All of the French actresses?
I thought it was gonna be Isabelle Adjani.
No.
All of them.
Well mine is about Penelope Cruz because I said it was going to be about... Oh that's sexy.
She's so boring.
She's sexy.
Boring is sexy.
Anyway well you'll find out when are we going to play these songs.
Probably we should play them within the next half hour.
15 minutes.
15 minutes.
Or okay maybe around about a quarter to 10 or something.
Stay tuned.
You never know.
Now here's a track that I've chosen for you listeners.
This is DJ Magic Mike.
Ever heard of DJ Magic Mike?
Nope.
He loves to scratch and he's on XL Records and I got this CD sent to me ages ago by XL Records.
I think it came out about four or five years ago maybe and it's good and it's just pretty hardcore scratching right the way through but given that it's quite wicked and I hope you agree listeners this is called The Master Gets Busy by DJ Magic Mike.
That's DJ Magic Mike with The Master Gets Busy.
And you heard what samples in there were you hearing, Joe?
I think there's a bit of, it's either Main Source or Tribe Called Quest at the beginning there.
And that drum beat he's plundering there, I'm pretty sure is from Sweet Pea by Tommy Rowe.
We've broken it down into components.
We've broken it all down for you.
I'm totally wrong about it being on XL.
I think maybe XL had something to do with it, but it's on Mo Wax.
wrong wrong if you want to check it out the album's called the journey wrong journey era of bass part one it's impossible it's an impossible job doing this show um so here's a trail for you now folks
On the Music Week this week, we're joined by two of the Music World's greatest legends.
As the enemy blesses them with godlike genius status, we chat in depth with the Manic Street Preachers.
Plus, who inspires music's greats?
I sit down with Nick Cave to talk about his heroes and meeting Johnny Cash.
He was led down the stairs with his kind of arms out going, Nick, are you there?
Are you there?
When he picked up his guitar, the years just kind of dropped away.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
BBC 6 Music.
I guess I should know By the way you popped your car sideways I don't mean that
You're the kind of person that believes in making out once.
Love em and leave em fast.
I guess I must be done.
Shed a pocket full of horses, Trojan and some other mules.
But it was sad at midnight.
I guess that makes it alright.
You say, what have I got to lose?
I guess I should've closed my eyes when you drove me to the place where your forces run free.
Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures of the jockeys that were there before me.
For living or not, I started to worry, wondering if I
Saturday night, I guess that makes it alright You say, baby, I ain't got enough gas, oh yeah
Somebody like you is on a P.N.
James.
Your face on the verge of being obscene.
You know it for me.
Give me the keys.
I'm gonna try to take a little red love machine.
You
Girl, I'm gonna dance like I never see And the ride, I say the ride is our speed You must be a younger scene
You need a lot, you need a lot Let's go, let's go Let's go, let's go Let's go, let's go Let's go, let's go
That's the tiny Minneapolis midget.
Prince.
He's entirely purple.
That's racist, man.
Is it?
Yeah, it's racist.
You're out.
Against what?
Against the purple.
The purple people?
The tiny purple people.
Oompa Loompas are purple.
That's very racist.
Is anyone else purple?
To use the word Oompa Loompa.
Which Mr Man was purple?
They're not called Oompa Loompas anymore.
Mr Nosey?
Mr Worry?
Humpty, Jude is saying.
Humpty is not a Mr Man.
All the Mr Men books have been banned.
Mr Uppity.
For being racist.
Really?
They're very racist.
They're so racist.
Everyone's racist.
So racist.
Good old Prince, eh?
Well done Prince.
Good old Prince.
Prince Harry I'm talking about.
Good old Prince Harry, yes.
he's coming home he's coming home he's coming harry's coming home that's the cover of one of the newspapers this morning that's what it says really how does a man's nose get that red harry i suppose he's been in the sun from drinking port in the sun that's true that's what he does out there they got him out there they got him a deck chair he sits there in the sun he drinks love port that's not true at all he was right in the thick of it he was doing amazing work and he only just escaped
being blown to bits and he's back in one piece thank goodness good nice to have you back Prince you're a genius Harry from Minneapolis now I'm talking about Prince Prince yeah Prince has been what he's been stationed in Afghanistan Prince is in Afghanistan really he's singing there's a media blackout and we're breaking the story yeah exactly wow he's never coming home though
Not until he records a decent album.
They're not letting him back.
He dodges bullets by doing the splits.
That's right, he's a genius.
And then he does a twirl and repels them back.
He's got the skills.
Shall we play some more music?
Now, this is a band.
Brilliant, here it is.
They're called Gillomots and this is Get Over It.
Soon Skinner's turn, it's back on me again And it's back to play school for me and my childhood friend Get over it!
And the words don't leave your mouth till I've had a dram
So I sit in the corner and watch you like the man I am Get over it Get over it Do you want my side?
My side of the story?
My side, my side of the story I want you, I want you like I'm 18
Drenched in sweat with you But it's this life, darling And in this life we make do
So on my side, my side of the story I want you, I want you like I'm 18
Sick, tired of your story One bad thing, your time's a bad scream
What a frightful racket.
They need to go to bed early tonight.
Get some sleep and do some reading.
That's the Guillemots with Get Over It.
That'll be released as a single on March 17th.
And that's available on their new album, Red, the second album, which will be out on the 24th of March.
Thanks, man.
Guillemots news there.
Get Over It, that's not a phrase you hear that much anymore.
It was very in vogue a few years ago.
It was a sort of Queenie phrase, wasn't it?
Get over it.
a bit like talk to the hand because the face ain't listening girl very aggressive denial ain't that's what it's like sometimes you're like an angry transvestite well that's what i'm saying at three in the morning on the new york subway yeah that's what they do that's what they used to do i'm not sure that the angry transvestites probably have new lingo maybe it is what i think at three in the morning yeah on the underground i get my dress on i go out on the underground and i say talk to the hand because the face ain't listening
It's nearly time for the news, but remember Song Wars is coming up.
The relaunch of Song Wars.
We've already had a couple of emails.
Brian in Norfolk says, OK, steal yourself, Adam.
Adam's song is rubbish, and Joe's is much better.
Dot, dot, dot.
Not really.
You haven't even played them yet.
I just want to hear Adam have another on-air breakdown.
Come on.
But I do love him.
yeah yeah listen i'm brian i'm not gonna rise to any of that i'm gonna take my defeat with good grace if it comes we won't know of course until next week ted in laundre says can i preemptively vote for adam's song i don't want another buckston paddy to end the song wars fun what does that mean
Paddy.
It's like a little pathetic.
No, really.
Yeah.
You're both going to struggle to match the concord's French song though.
The flight of the concords.
Did they do a French song?
Yeah, they did.
It was very good.
Yeah.
But ours were about actresses now, you know, come on the concord said geniuses.
We're not in their league, but we do our best and you'll hear what we've come up with within the next half an hour.
But now it's time for the news.
on digital radio and online.
BBC Six Music.
Harry's coming home.
US boosts for British aviation industry and work rage on the increase.
Six Music.
BBC News at 9.30.
I'm Harvey Cook.
Prince Harry is flying back to Britain after he was pulled out of Afghanistan because the media blackout on his deployment failed.
He had completed 10 weeks of his 14-week tour of duty.
His plane will touch down RF Bry's Norton in Oxfordshire later this morning.
Our Royal Correspondent Peter Hunt is there.
It is a bittersweet moment for Harry because he got so far but didn't quite get to the end that he wanted to do and if he had got to the end he wanted to do then of course he would have come home as normal as everyone else is but I mean the moment that the world was aware that the third in line to the throne was where he was the risks were too great.
Next on 6 Music, a consortium including the European plane manufacturer Airbus has won a massive order to build refuelling aircraft for the US Air Force.
The wings for the 179 new tankers will be made at factories in Bristol and at Broughton in North Wales.
The order could safeguard thousands of jobs, but defence industry analyst Harold Wilden says he expects a backlash in the US.
There is a body of opinion in the US that really doesn't like
The fact that the US would be buying a European design product where many of the components will be built in Europe, it would much prefer an all-American product.
There'll be a lot of lobbying.
A reward is being offered in the search for nine-year-old Shannon Matthews, who's been missing in Dewsbury since Tuesday last week.
The Sun is offering £20,000 for anyone who finds it.
An increasing number of people are suffering from work rage.
As according to a survey of 1,200 employees, four out of five admitted losing their temper at work.
usually out of frustration with a colleague not pulling their weight.
Recent campaigns by celebrity chefs seem to have made a difference to people's habits when it comes to buying chickens.
Almost three-quarters of people who took part in an RSPCA survey said they now bought what are known as higher welfare birds, sand and sport.
Andrew Strauss looks like he secured his place in the England cricket side for next week's first test against New Zealand.
He made 104 with Ian Bell, also getting a century as England drew their final warm-up match.
And the weather.
Well, the strong winds should die down to leave most of us with plenty of sunshine today.
Rain will though spring to the west later.
Highs at 12 degrees in London, 11 in Cardiff and 9 degrees in Manchester.
That's Six Music News.
I'm back with more at 10.30.
BBC Six Music.
On Monday from 9.30, Six Music plays it again.
The Stiff Records story with Suggs.
That's the Rapture with the House of Jealous Lovers.
That's one of those songs when it comes on, sometimes it comes on my iPod and the beginning makes me want to switch it off.
Doesn't come on my iPod.
You have to weather the first few seconds and then it becomes enjoyable.
That's for Mancos.
Sorry, mate.
Information.
I know.
Information clash.
Right.
Right.
You go with one bit of information at a time.
I was going to say this is Adam and Joe.
It's like Thompson and Thompson hosting a radio show.
Have you seen the cartoon version of Tintin?
Yeah.
And you know it's all mainly Canadians doing the voices.
Is it?
And I think it's... Well, it's a Belgian creation, of course.
Hergé was Belgian.
Right.
Well, it's a terrible stew of accents and influences on the cartoon version.
And Thompson and Thompson, they've got the worst British accents I've ever heard.
They're totally manglerized British accents.
I might try and record them and bring them in.
My son really likes it.
Sounds quite good.
Quite good, yeah.
And Tintin's voice is very odd as well.
I can't really do a good impression of it.
Canadian voices are odd.
It's a very odd accent.
Yeah.
Very difficult to do an impression of a Canadian.
That's right.
I find.
Yeah.
I don't really know anyone who does one.
Maybe we can get a sort of pathetic sounding Canadian to phone in and we can laugh at them.
That's a really good idea.
That's a good idea, isn't it?
It could be a regular feature.
Yeah.
We just, uh, you know, a type of person, they voluntarily call in and we can laugh.
We just mock them.
That's a good idea.
We could do it on TV too.
Just noises like that.
Yeah.
Whatever they say.
Whatever they say.
What is it about those two notes that are so risible?
That wouldn't have made Close Encounters quite so good, would it?
If that's how they'd communicated with the aliens.
That's right.
Yeah, buh buh buh buh buh is good but have you tried meh meh?
I think you'll get a more immediate response from the aliens.
They get a different finger reply from the aliens.
You know, my children are obsessed with the Simpsons movie.
They rate it highly, and my youngest son, Natty, who's coming up to his fourth birthday, has latched on as a role model to Nelson, the bully, who goes, ha ha!
And that's all Nat does now, is go around just sort of going, ha ha!
in a really unpleasant way it's a useful tool in a in a child's arsenal yeah but he's not gotta you know he's he's gotta disavow himself of that particular tool because otherwise he's gonna get in trouble already we're getting notes from the teachers really yeah saying he's being a little uncommunicative he's a bad breed he's like nelson he's latched on he's watched the whole of the simpsons movie and thought there you go nelson he's the guy i'm gonna be he's the king
I think he's cool he's quite cool so listen folks after this next track it's song wars time we're going to be playing you our new song wars tracks my Spanish track about Penelope Cruz and Joe's French track just about all French actresses coming up after Susie Sue
It's in the air, super still I come before the hunter kill The sky will crack me up my sleeve I feel it drift in my stomach thin It's about to happen It's about to show Can you feel it tighten?
Can you feel it
Attention, I'm about to blow Attention, will you push it?
Oh, I can't contain it I'm fit to burst All supernova in a big, fine fist
I can't contain it Right here, right now Am I here right now?
It's about to happen It's about to show Can you feel it touching?
Can you feel it?
Get out, don't hang about Get up, get out It's in the air, super still The combat door The sky will crack the earth, my strength I feel it dead Get up, get out, don't hang about Get up, get out
Don't hold me back, get up, get out!
Mmm, haughty!
That's Suzie Sue with About To Happen.
And now it's time for... It's time for Song Wars, the war of the songs.
It's the return of Song Wars after an absence of what, three weeks or something?
Three weeks!
What a terrible, parched, arid, desert-like stretch of time it's been.
Oh it's lovely.
The listeners have been clawing through.
Lovely relaxing holidays is what it was.
The cracked mud searching for morsels of musical sustenance.
They've found nothing!
Now, these lovely moist sandwiches of Sonics will be presented to their gobs.
Yeah.
Yeah, the theme this week, ladies and gentlemen, is songs in a foreign language.
I chose French musical, I chose Spanish, just not because they're languages we're fluent in, but they're the foreign languages that we've got the greatest grasp of, meaning
very very limited grasp of i studied french to what what's called o levels don't exist anymore no i don't think so uh beyond that rien rien par de tout uh i your mummy is spanish isn't
Isn't she a little bit?
She's from Chile.
That's Spanish, isn't it?
They speak Spanish.
They speak a form of Spanish.
Yes.
There you go.
It should be a shoo-in for you.
Well, you'd think, wouldn't it?
We expect nothing but the best.
When she moved to the UK to marry my dad, she stopped talking Spanish altogether to us and we never grew up with it as a second language.
She's a horrible person for depriving us.
She dreams in Spanish.
She really does, exactly.
But anyway, you know, the hangover of the language is still there, I hope a little bit, but I still found it very hard to write a whole song in Spanish.
So who's going to go first?
We're going to toss a coin.
Yeah, if the foreign language thing wasn't difficult enough, we've also chosen as our theme foreign actresses.
Now listen, man, can I ask you first before we hear the song is?
Did you just do silly French phrases and not even bother to make them make sense?
No, no, I know what my song is supposed to mean.
Okay, right, good.
Just checking, because I would have got a little bit haughty about it if you had.
However, we do have some bilingual listeners or a bilingual listener standing by.
We're not... we've got two of them.
We're not sure of their identities.
We're going to come to them later in the show.
So we're just going to play the songs unfettered by any any comment.
Yeah.
And we'll do that business later in the show.
We're going to toss a coin.
I call heads.
I call tails to go to go first or second to go first.
Okay.
Heads to go first.
It is.
It's tails.
Cornish goes first.
The corn plaster.
Thanks.
Corn dog.
So here we go.
My song, as usually it doesn't have a name, but you've got to imagine yourself in in Paris or in France on a beautiful sunny morning.
Yeah, those are some of my lyrics.
You just preempted there.
That's a clue to how sophisticated it is.
You're in France and you're obsessed with French cinema and you're looking around you and everywhere you look is a beautiful French actress and you decide to sing a little song about it.
and this is what you hear.
Ah, j'adore les actresse français, Juliette Binoche, avec une brioche, flonoré le longue de Rivgouge, Paris, je t'aime, regardez bétristale, est son ami Pascal, a châté du pain beaucoup lingerie.
Ah, les baguettes et voix si Catherine de Nôre,
No?
OK.
It's not bad.
That's the end.
I saw you making little notes in a book and suddenly I felt like I was 12 and in French class again.
Yeah.
And you were making... Well, I was just writing down the phrases that I thought you would have had to actually go to an online translation site for, because most of them... What does that mean?
It's important though.
And what were the other phrases in there?
I had a new word.
What's that?
I had flannery.
right yeah that was some sophisticated it was sophisticated you must have jumped uh for joy and danced a little jig when you found that sample on uh garage band the guitar it's a cheesy loop but it's the only one that sounds anything uh like a french it's nice and you've got the birds singing and i put them in little seagulls there when it's time for the pedalo
The trumpet is nice coming in there.
I tried to paint an oral picture.
You did, man.
What an oral picture it was.
You did.
You'd done it all over the floor.
Pointillism.
Was that, you know?
Pointillisme.
I liked it.
OK, so here's my song.
This is about Penelope Cruz.
And it was tough on both counts because I've got no strong feelings about Penelope Cruz.
And also, I found it very, you know, I got obsessed with the idea of making the
Spanish words rhyme and stuff and in the end it all just went weird as tends to happen with me.
So this is my song about Penelope Cruz.
I can smell this person's soul and I want to get to know him, you know.
I am Penelope Cruz, I like to see you in the sky and blue, and I wonder why you like me, and others don't like me.
I am Penelope Cruz, and I have a friend.
And I love you, but I don't have a friend.
I am going to give you a friend, and I am going to give you a friend.
Oh, pardon me.
This is a little too much.
Hey, Caramba.
I'm going to take a break.
Ooh, Penelope Cruz, mi llamo si mis targas, mis tanyos puero, nechos para ti Ooh, Penelope Cruz, mi llamo si esta bacun, sa jara pica, un corral, mi spandoli con mi ques.
So it's proper Spanish song, you see.
Your accent's very good.
I mean, I wouldn't know what a good accent is, but it sounds very good.
And that's the main thing.
I picked up some stuff in there.
Yeah.
Captain Corelli, Sahara and Vanilla Sky.
Bad stomach acid.
Yeah.
And a burp.
That's pretty much it.
Yeah, because other than that, it's impenetrable unless you're a fluent Spanish speaker.
Unless you speak Spanish.
Well, handily, we are going to be playing those songs to people who speak fluent Spanish and fluent French in the third hour of the show, after 11 o'clock at some point.
Don't forget the voting, though.
That's the key thing.
During the show, as it goes out live, you can vote via text 64046.
If you're listening via listen again, then vote via email, adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
The winner will be announced at the beginning.
of next week's show now here's a track that you've chosen joe yeah what is it a bit of fiasco yeah it's a bit more lupay fiasco i bought this album uh when i was on holiday and it's got about four good tracks on it that's all you need man that's that all you need is that the usual standard these days if an album's got four good tracks on it i'm happy some albums in the old days they used to have all good tracks 12 good tracks
Not anymore.
Not anymore.
Sometimes it's like making friends isn't it?
The people you make friends with at a new school on your first day are not the same people that you're friends with at the end of your time there.
Do you know what I mean?
Of course, yeah.
Fast friends are often you know not the best friends.
No, the shallow ones.
The ones you're not sure about at first but then... The quiet ones, the weird ones.
I'm drawing a comparison there between tracks so who knows but this is a good one.
It's called Paris Tokyo and it's from the cool Lupe Fiasco's new album.
I gotta go pay these bills, I got a show to do.
I love her, and I hate to leave her lonely Ring ring with the iPhone, it was my homie He said let's hit Japan, if we can make him jam We can make a hundred grand Spinnin' in the south of France, nothing further I jumped, grab my Goyard trunk Got ready to walk it out like uncle
in my john lennon chucks that's when i heard murder you're killing me and filling me with sorrow sunrise goodbyes and missing you tomorrows i turn to see my dream love supreme queen meanest thing on the scene cry i drop my bags in the flash that's faster than 180 on that dash sir to dry your tears and wipe the rain from my deer like dash sir use the dame who's the username to all my passwords the reason i get fly is i've been jasper i even keep your picture in my passport love love
Wake up in Tokyo Have a dream in New Orleans Fall in love in Chicago, man Then we can land in the motherland Camel back across the desert sand Take a train to Rome Or home Brazil, for real Wherever I go
So let's keep it real, all in together, free chill Tell the stewardess to do a movie on the rail Heat up my kosher meal, exchange my dollar bills Lean back in my first class seat and sleep Don't wake me till I land where they barely understand What I speak but they nod to my beats
I tell my fans who I am and they stand and they clap, they applaud, they love me, my God.
Scotty, Sam and Deshta, I may be au revoir, a spree on Saint Henri, then back to Charles de Gaulle so I can get home and tell her everywhere that I've been and everything that I've done and tell her that she's the one and, um, let's go to Saint Paris.
Guess who's back in the house With a bunch of souvenirs and a smile for your mouth I really missed you Each and every night I kissed you in my dreams Before I went to sleep to La La Land and count them sheep I swear you're looking prettier than ever It's got to be a prophecy for us to stay together evermore For better or less
All worth awaiting, buried treasure, exes on the shore, uh I know my world tour's like war to ya But Ian said, I know how And Hardy said, cheers Julian said, bonjour Big O was like, yeah Amanda and LaMessi wanna know when we going there Edison sends his love, so does the rest of the club
the international playboys and playgubs But I revoke my membership all for my tenderness She said pursue your interests cause even if I'm ticketless I'll be there, by your side, in your heart, on your mind So as I taxi down another runway I gotcha, who loves your bae?
Now bring it back now, let's go to Singapore
6 Music.
Chivalric.
Okay, a Chivalric query.
Stephen Merchant.
I've taken a go at it.
I've gone to a restaurant with her.
I've picked up the tab.
Now we've been going out a couple of months, she has not even put her hand in her purse once.
I don't know.
How do I broach the subject?
What do I do?
You have to keep paying until she offers to pay.
Whereupon you refuse politely once, at that point you obviously shouldn't start saying, well I didn't have onion bhajis.
I think it's a little condescending for the gentleman to always pay.
I think Dutch is fine.
Stephen Merchant.
When the girl once said to me, do you want to go Dutch, I thought it was her.
Tomorrow afternoon from three.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC 6 Music.
In session for 6.
Over and over and over Like a monkey with a miniature symbol The joy of repetition really is in you Under and under and under and under and under The smell of repetition really is on you When you feel this way I really am with you
Like a monkey with a manager symbol The joy of repetition really is in you Under and under and under and under and under The smell of repetition really is on you And when you feel this way I really will
Adam and Jo.
On 6music.
Tell you I've got to think and I need just what to do Tell you I started thinking I knew what I had to do Tell you, tell you, tell you, tell you I've got to think and I need what I had to do Tell you I started thinking I knew what I had to do Tell you I've got to think and I need what I had to do Tell you, tell you, tell you, tell you
Like a monkey with a miniature symbol The joy of repetition really is in you Under and under and under and under and under The smell of repetition really is on you
What a terribly confusing series of sounds.
Welcome to Art Zone, where today we present you with a confusing series of noises in order to challenge your preconceptions of the nature of music and sound here on the BBC.
We're trying to get a job on resonance.
We think it's a better station.
Yeah.
And we want to go over to resonance.
So we deliberately picked that Gideon Coe session track there of Hot Chip playing over and over, a very weird version of over and over.
I started punching Adam with Haddock and he fell on the mixing desk.
He's dressed as Napoleon of course.
And then all kinds of strange sounds started coming out of the desk.
It's the kind of stuff
that's going to be going down on this show in the future.
This is what we get up to because we don't like rules.
We're situationalists.
We hate the rules, you know.
If we find some kind of rule book, then if we can, we'll tear it up.
Generally, we rip it up.
The problem with the rule books at the BBC is they're very thick, so it takes a while.
You have to slightly saw them, saw into them.
When I see an envelope, I love to push it.
Just push it.
I've pushed envelopes right to the edge of the table.
All the way.
Yeah, envelopes.
Yeah, exactly.
You love pushing them.
No, edges.
I cut them.
Yeah.
Are you finished?
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music, incidentally, not resonance.
And that was Hot Chip, as we said.
And the voting lines are open now for Song Wars.
Now there's a sort of a trend showing in the text votes here.
People seem to think that my French song is very like the Concorde's French song.
I wouldn't say it was... I haven't heard the Concorde's French song.
What are you doing?
I swear it, man.
I don't know, I've seen a lot of Concords but I've just missed that particular episode.
and I'm sorry I mean people seem to think my French song is a bit page one you know and some people like it very much other people like your song they think it's more imaginative but they find it slightly scary
Well, it is slightly scary.
It's very odd.
It's like a howl from a disturbed mind.
Like a sort of serial killer in a basement who's about to stalk and maybe hurt Penelope Cruz in some way.
It starts off very creepy with a low voice.
Yeah.
And it's all minor chords and it's creepy sounding.
Sinistra.
well yeah yeah no you're not attempting to build an argument against that you just no yeah i'll put my hands up to that it's fair enough i hold my hands up holding my hands up bruv yeah that's totally fair enough yeah um now the gossip what do you know about gossip well it's very destructive um it's it's petty but at the same time everyone has to do it because it's a way of
you know making decisions and analyzing your relationships with people in your immediate circle without hurting them.
People who gossip are scientifically proven to be more popular than people who do not gossip.
Well it is it is an important function of of you know socialness uh socialocity.
That's it.
You know if a person doesn't gossip then they are seen by their peer group as being rather boring.
Boring.
Slightly boring.
And that's why Heat Magazine's so successful.
Exactly.
And so very good.
So wicked.
So wicked.
And anyway, being boring is not something you could accuse Beth Ditto of.
No.
She is wild.
She's too interesting.
I get bored with her because she's so interesting.
Is that possible?
It is possible, yeah.
Absolutely possible.
Anyway, see what happens when you listen to this.
This is standing in the way of control.
You
You're dying
Standing in the way of control We'll live our lives Because we're standing in the way of control We will live our lives
You don't stop trying Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh
Textination!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Textination!
What if I don't want to?
Textination!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
At some point it'll be time for a rebranding of the show, won't it?
Like new jingles.
Not for a while, but we'll hire a consultancy firm, have various surveys done.
We'll pay a lot of money, I mean several thousand pounds, and then the company will come back with some jingles that are slightly worse than the ones that we used to have.
And we'll be very happy.
But then after another six months, we'll bring back the original jingles and call them classic jingles and also pay a little bit more money to the company that suggested we do that.
But for now the classic jingle will have to suffice and it's time for Text the Nation, here with Adam and Joe on BBC6 music on this glorious Saturday morning.
Or if you're listening again, this depressing Wednesday afternoon.
So the theme this week is car adverts.
Yeah, what's your favourite car advert at the moment, Joe Cornish?
My favourite car advert is a new one I saw this week and it starts with just bits of cars like a door, a bumper, an engine and it kind of pulls out wider and you realise that they're being played like instruments.
Oh how imaginative.
It's brilliant and then it pulls out even wider and it's a whole orchestra of car parts.
That's the exhaust pipe.
Is not the tune they play but it's something similar.
Yeah.
And then we were watching this and me and my friend stroke friends were trying to guess what the tagline was going to be.
I thought it would have something to do with perfectly tuned.
Very good.
Yeah, but it ended up being something else I can't remember.
Something about harmony maybe.
Right.
Like the road and your wheels in perfect harmony, wasn't that?
Something like that.
But you know I'm a bit obsessed with car adverts because basically all cars are the same, right?
More or less.
I mean they vary in quite, you know, small ways.
And so it's difficult as an advertiser to figure out a new way to present something that's basically just a tin box on wheels.
Yeah, exactly.
So they have to think of all kinds of elaborate things like a car is a cake.
What are the other very famous ones?
Kind of innovative car advert.
Well, in the olden days, they used to be much more based on personalities and stuff like what was the French girl called?
Oh, yes.
Papa.
Papa.
What was she called?
Mimi.
Nicole.
Nicole, of course.
How could we forget?
I think she was called Mimi.
Mimi.
Yes.
That's true.
Nicole.
And there was not so long ago, there was the chap from Holby City, Jeremy Sheffield, who I have had various encounters with.
Yes.
You're a regular listener to the program.
And he he did an advert where he was going off and romancing a French lady, wasn't he?
And that was all about cars.
Yeah.
There's also the cake one that divides people.
I forget which car it's from.
Well that's the thing, you can never remember what the car is.
And we're not in the business of advertising the car companies.
Cars are evil.
They are evil.
And also anyone who likes cars is evil by extension.
Like Jeremy Clarkson.
And slightly dull.
Exactly.
That's not true.
That's not true.
We'll just alienate all the car-loving listeners.
It's a humorous generalization there.
Calm down.
Why did you say that, Adam?
I was just taking your lead.
You started me on it.
I only say stuff if you think it's cool.
Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam.
Anyway, so yeah, what do you feel about the the cake one?
Do you like that one?
Well, it's there's a website called pimp that snack isn't there and I'm convinced that just some young advertising honcho went on pimp pimp my snack and all those people do is they just apply car advert car advert all day car advert car advert everything they look at car advert car advert to try and work, you know work a new idea into a car advert Oh, well, there was the great was it for Volvo the the one that nicked the idea of that
a film called The Way Things Go, a German film, where it's basically a sort of art film and it's got like big bits of wood kind of knocking each other over and then chemicals spilling onto each other and they did it with all like parts of a car, you know?
Oh yeah.
and it was they did a good job.
Really that won loads of awards that was nicked was it?
That was nicked yeah off the way things go.
Oh no.
Great German art film.
Well we want you to try and come up with a new idea that's never been done before for a car advert that's the subject of Text the Nation the the text is 64046 I think it's gold dust if you can come up with like a genuinely new way to present a car advert then you could become like
millionaire in the advertising industry.
Almost certainly people from the advertising world listen to this program because we regularly have these kinds of phone-ins and I would imagine that they've nicked quite a few big money ideas off us.
This is more of a job opportunity than a text.
It's certainly not a competition than a text event.
I thought of one, right?
Yeah, what was yours?
Hamsters on a wheel in a cage.
it's a kid and instead of little hamsters he's got one of those uh you know elaborate hamster runs right with all sorts of tubes and wheels and things but there's little cars in there little cars and that's all they're going round and round yes how is that good how does that project a good image it's just new because the kid loves them
You're saying that the cars are like hamsters.
No, wait, wait, wait, they do tiny plops.
The car's out of the exhaust pipes.
Right.
And the kid cleans them up.
And it's about being good for the environment.
Okay, you come up with better ones than this.
64046 if you can.
Is this idea a goer, do you think?
Yeah, definitely.
I've got I've got some ideas I want to tell you about.
All right.
But let's hear the sound of elbow first.
Why not?
This is grounds for divorce.
I've been working on a cocktail called Grimes for Divorce
Down comes in on sticks, but then he kicks like a horse There's a tiny cigarette case And the rest you can keep And the rest you can keep
I cannot help but fall
There's this whispering of joy
It gives me no cause, an illusion of cause There's a hole in my neighborhood down which of late I cannot help but fall There's a hole in my neighborhood down which of late I cannot help but fall
Much of late I cannot help but fall
That's Garvey and the boys elbow with grounds for divorce This is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music and we are in the midst of text the nation Subject this week for text the nation.
We're asking you to text or email us about car adverts.
We're next for the car advert and
How, you know, what kind of revolutions can you inject into the crazy world of car advertising?
And it's a hard thing to do because you would think pretty much everything's been done.
There's the guy that uses a car, a car as a skateboard.
I just remember that one.
Do you remember?
It's like he's like a giant man.
Yeah.
And he's sort of like ollieing the car around and stuff.
Are there any car adverts that you're genuinely fond of, unironically?
No, I hate- I detest them all.
Yeah, they're all awful, aren't they?
The one- one of the ones that, uh... I really- actually, I can- this is one of the few ones that I can actually remember the brand for, although I won't say it, but it's the one where they're in the factory and the cars are being sprayed by the robot arms.
Oh yeah.
And then suddenly one of the robot arms kind of starts getting creative and painting the car in a wacky way.
which links into the name of the car.
There's cars playing hide and seek.
There's that weird gang of stuffed toys that live with that sexy lady.
I hate them very much.
I sincerely hate the stuffed toys and I want to kill all of the stuffed toys.
Really?
Yeah.
And I would do it.
I'd go to prison as well.
Really?
I think you're right with stuffed toys.
Really?
I don't think that's illegal.
If one of them turned out to be sentient though... Property damage.
Property damage, possibly, yeah.
But even if I was going to get a long time for hurting all the toys, I'd go away for it.
There's the Transformers one, where they turn into robot men and start skating.
Skating on the ice or dancing around.
Which stole some of the thunder from the Transformers movie a little bit, didn't it?
I think it helped.
It was piggybacking, synergy.
Yeah, it helped.
Yeah, yeah, it helped.
It was all a conspiracy by Shiba-la-bo-woof.
Yeah, the beef man.
Shiba-ba-bo-woof.
Shia-la-biff.
Dog food and a different film.
So here's my idea for a car ad, but this would be shocking because there was a time when, oh and here's another, this is one ad that I slightly enjoyed a little bit because it also because it was very short.
The thing about a lot of car ads is they go on forever.
but a really nice short one was a what looked like a giant frightening spider emerging from a web and then emerging from the shadows, scuttling out from the shadows and as it scuttled out it transformed brilliantly by means of just a cut I think into the car but it was beautifully executed.
What was it saying?
It was saying that the car was like a spider actually which reminds me... Is that a good thing?
Which reminds me of those Ludicrous ads where the cars all turn into, you know, like a snake and one of them turns into a spider and it crawls around and they're all sort of 4x4s and stuff.
I've done a hilarious spoof of one of them on my website, on my YouTube channel, you can see it.
I've re-voiced it brilliantly.
But those kind of ads drive you nuts.
But I liked the spider one, that was a good one.
But here's my idea for what you could have.
This would be shocking.
Are you prepared?
I'm ready, man.
This is going to be very shocking.
Pitch me.
OK.
Hospital room, right?
Beep, beep, beep.
Surgeons all gathered round.
A woman screaming with pain and agonising pain in the throes of giving birth, right?
Pan down.
Pan down.
Close up shot of a crucial lady zone.
No.
This would be banned.
And it would be banned, but it would have a lot of cachet around it.
It would be big on the net.
You're talking about the Bermuda Triangle.
I'm talking about, yes, exactly.
The happy zone.
And a close up of the Bermuda Triangle, and guess what comes out?
The woman gives birth to the new Bermuda Triangle.
Look at it from my angle.
the new triangle very good and so is that how it went and and the car would uh pop out and they would slap the car's exhaust and wipe all the gore off it and then the car would be presented to the mother and she'd drive home in it
How big is it?
She wouldn't even need a baby seat.
So that would be good, wouldn't it?
It's like a David Cronenberg director.
Cronenberg could direct it.
It wouldn't be a flesh car though, would it?
Maybe.
Maybe that's the new environmental direction.
It'd start off fleshy and then it would harden up.
What a frightening idea, that's a brilliant idea.
Hard carapace.
That they make flesh cars.
They kind of breed them in a
Oh, this is all getting a bit dark for a Saturday morning.
Anyway, get your ideas in, listeners.
Text 64046, email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
There is no prize, because this isn't a competition.
They're banned in the big British castle.
It's just kind of like a group of friends just stroking each other's parts.
Exactly.
Here's a track I've chosen for you, friends, while we stroke each other's parts.
This is a band called The Feelies.
They're kind of seminal.
arty pop band from New Jersey from the early 80s.
I believe their first album crazy rhythms came out in 1980.
And I came across them because we did vinyl justice on our show ages ago when we used me and Joe used to go around and raid people's record collections for our TV show.
And we did it with Nick
Heywood from Haircut 100 and this was one of the albums that he had and I thought it was really interesting he was playing us a couple of tracks and sure enough it's a smash and other fun fact about the Feelies they turn up in the film Something Wild Jonathan Demme always liked that film and they play a band who are at a high school reunion there while Ray Liotta's poncing around with all the other ponces in the film but they're good and I hope you enjoy this track it's called Farsayla by the Feelies
Good stuff, man.
That's the feelies with Farseyla from their album Crazy Rhythms.
Yes, it is.
That's true.
What you said just then is right.
And very shortly after this next track and the news and some more music, we'll be coming back with your texts for Text-A-Nation.
Harvey Cook, the newsreader, sounds very laid back today.
The cooker.
The cookster.
He's on low simmer.
He certainly is.
He's making the news very sexy.
Mmm.
Even if it's, uh, troubling news.
Harvey doesn't let the news get to him, that's the thing.
Well, he's read so much horror.
Exactly.
He's seen it all.
That he's inured.
Inured.
Inured.
He is, uh, yeah, he's developed a crusty outer shell.
That's right.
Makes him as tough.
A crusty news carapace.
We'll be hearing Harvey's crusty carapace after this track by the future heads.
This is the beginning of the twist.
It's time to wake up.
It's time to change.
Let's get it started.
I feel like there's so much to rearrange.
Come on, I need your help with this.
Why don't we get it started with a kiss?
If memory serves, then why am I still waiting for it to return?
My head feels like it's just about to slip.
This morning is just a blur.
Today lingers on like a bad year.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
We get along well, we talk a lot I made some promises, I guess that I totally forgot But give me my mind and then I swear Feels like somebody's thrown it down the stairs It's not good enough I thought you knew enough about it but you still want more Today I don't feel so ill If only I could find the time I want to kill
I can feel it
I can feel it, I can feel it I can feel it coming, the beginning of the twist I can feel it, I can feel it I can feel it coming, the beginning of the twist I can feel it, I can feel it I can feel it coming, the beginning of the twist I can feel it, I can feel it
The future heads with the beginning of the twist.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
Now it's time for the news, read by Harvey Cook and the music news, read by Andre Payne.
on digital radio and online BBC 6Music.
Soldier Harry flies home from Afghanistan aviation jobs boost and Brown rallies Labour's troops.
And in 6 Music used primals on their new album and a second bar fly for Birmingham.
BBC News at 10.30 I'm Harvey Cook.
So Prince Harry's flying back to Britain after his tour of duty in Afghanistan was brought to a premature end.
The Prince has been fighting in the Helmand province but was pulled out after details of his deployment were made public.
He's expected to arrive at RAF Bryce Norton in Oxfordshire later.
Our correspondent Brian Hanrahan says the prince is now seen as an enemy to extremists.
Here he's a personal target.
He's now identified himself with the war.
That's given him a lot of popularity here in Britain.
We're seeing that people like the idea of that.
But there are those who don't.
Overseas there are people who will say this is a war of colonialism.
They'll say all sorts of things about it.
And a lot of people will therefore think he is a target to be attacked personally.
Next on Six Music, the jobs of thousands of British workers with the aviation firm Airbus have been safeguarded by a 20 billion pound order from the US Air Force.
Airbus is part of a consortium which will build 179 aircraft.
The wings and other components will be made at Bristol and at Broughton in North Wales.
Robin Southwell, chief executive of Airbus' parent company EADS UK, says orders of this size are rare.
Sometimes you have lots of orders, sometimes not.
and to actually be involved in a market where whatever happens in the commercial world, the US Air Force will continue to order these wing sets in significant numbers.
It's very good quality earnings for the company that allows us to plan properly and secure jobs for now and into the medium term.
Rewards being offered in the search for nine-year-old Shannon Matthews has been missing in Dewsbury since Tuesday last week.
The Sun is offering £20,000 for anyone who finds her.
Gordon Brown's addressing Labour supporters right now at the Party Spring Conference in Birmingham.
It's the first time he's spoken to members since his decision not to call an election last October.
A 33-year-old man is being treated in hospital after he became impaled on a fence while taking a shortcut at Blythe in Northumberland.
Police say metal spikes penetrated his thigh near the groin area.
Sport now.
In the Premier League, the leaders Arsenal face Aston Villa at the Emirates, second place Manchester United travel to Fulham, while Chelsea face West Ham.
Now with 6Music News, Andre Payne.
Primal Scream have given SixMusic an update on their new record.
It's two years since their Riot City Blues album and since then Bobby Gillespie has been working on a project with Paul Weller.
But Manny says we can expect something from The Scream pretty soon.
We're right in the middle of recording the new Scream album at the minute which is going great.
Yeah we're just keeping busy like we do.
We're not very good at having time off.
We like to be together and make music so that's exactly what we're doing and it's coming on great.
There's a new barfly venue launching in the Midlands.
Birmingham will get a second barfly after the company took over the sanctuary venue.
It will have a 1,500 capacity and owners, the MAMA Group, will refurbish both of the city's barflies.
And finally, Oasis have been praising former England manager Sven Goan.
Ericsson now reckons he was a good national coach and says the players were a letdown.
The Man City fans are mixing their new record.
Well, they say they've had a few technical problems.
6 Music News, your next bulletin is at 11.30.
BBC 6Music.
On Monday from 9.30, 6Music plays it again.
The stiff record story with Suggs.
6Music.
Adam and Joe on 6music.
And loses herself in their dreaming and sleep And the lovers walk through with their cold shades Pretty in bed
Isn't she?
All of the flowers on top of the notes And the flowers that they never sent And wasn't she?
Isn't she pretty and thick?
The one who insists he was first in the line Is the last to remember her name
Is walking around in this dress that she wore She's gone but the joke's a sign
She says I love you too much She doesn't have anything you want to steal
She burns your shirt The traffic is waiting outside She hands you this card She gives you her clothes These cards come off Pretty in pink Isn't she?
Pretty in pink Isn't she?
you know i prefer the version of that song that they re-released for the film uh pretty in pink they remixed it and i bought it on 12 inch with andrew mccarthy and all the guys from the breakfast club on the front i thought you were going to say you went to the record shop with andrew mccarthy and all the guys from the breakfast club i wish
uh because a lot of the uh boys at school that bullied me in their winkle pickers with their jesus and mary chain passion they like the psychedelic furs and i didn't uh because i was a bit of a ponce and then when i saw pretty in pink uh i thought yes i can buy a psychedelic furs record and and honestly genuinely like it and you've even though it's the poncey remix i walked into school with the 12 inch under my arm
Of course, by that time, the hard lads had gone off the psychedelic first.
Yeah.
And it was used to torture me.
And they beat you with your copy of Mirror Moves.
They beat me into a genius.
Yeah?
There you go.
Now it's time for... Textination!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Textination!
What if I don't want to?
Textination!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
There are some extremely good ideas coming in for car ads.
I think we should maybe form a company with the listeners.
A collective.
It could be a profit sharing collective.
We could be like a think tank.
Because we already do this obviously with Text the Nation, the results are sent to the government.
But we should start making money from it.
We really should, because you know, you and I aren't averse to the odd bit of dabbling in the dirty world of advertising.
Yeah, anything.
And we could really clean up if we did some directing maybe.
We need some sort of registration process for the listeners.
You know, so their names and addresses are registered their bank details.
We'd send them an online security email They click the link and fill in their details and because you do and if we do the ad we can pay them what five pounds well, no, we'd we'd you know divide the Profit between the number of listeners.
Oh, I see.
Yeah nice
Marks and Spencer.
Is that how you pronounce it?
Yeah.
Anyway there are some very good ideas, are you ready for some?
Yeah go on then.
Okay here we go, here we go.
This is a slightly filthy one from Kings and Russ.
Our car advert would involve long lingering shots of two older cars at it.
Petrol dripping from the exhaust of a post-coital Ford Fiesta as it dismounts from a golf cart.
before cutting to the birth of our new vehicle, a Toyota Prius.
There you go.
That's quite good, isn't it?
There's a big article about that one.
Prius in the Prius.
Is that the hybrid one?
Yes, exactly.
Anton Corbin drives one.
Does he?
What is that?
What are we supposed to think about that?
Why did you say that?
Well, because there's a big article about it.
Who cares about him?
People care.
Who cares?
All people who like control.
Oh, right.
He did control, didn't he?
Yeah, he's a genius.
Yeah.
He drives one.
Sandra Howard, 64, drives one.
Who's she?
She's a columnist and author.
Oh, she's wicked.
She lives in London.
And William Kendall, the organic farmer, drives one.
Kendall.
Bill Kendall.
Yeah, Billy Kendall.
That's a very good idea.
Very good idea.
You know, Lily Allen would like that.
She'd probably play that as a clip on her show because it features two things rutting.
Yes.
And she'd giggle.
She would.
Nat in Camden.
Yeah.
This could be your son, Nat.
He's left home, gone to live with Pete Doggety and a couple of lads wearing winkle pickers and top hats in Camden.
Buying Ganesh products from their lock.
Roadkill type animals, for example a huge, what?
For example a hedgehog gleefully driving and splatting people on their windscreens.
Genius.
Okay that's a very good reversal.
I feel like maybe that's even been done, that's so... Woodland creatures driving cars.
Humans like insects, splashing on the windscreen.
I don't know that's been done, but if it hasn't, that's just a great idea.
Tagline, it turns your world upside down, says Nat.
I'm not sure about that tagline.
It's good enough, man.
Do you think?
Yeah, you shouldn't overestimate the public.
You're right.
You should never do that.
Here's another one.
This is from Liz.
This is really good.
as our lovely car goes by little squeals of delight and awe sententious opinions about they have seen mix with wild admiration don't know what that sentence means they're animal versions of bird spotters yeah sententious thoughts about what they've seen right so they're all being yeah they're nerds they're nerdy but that's pretty good isn't it like little ice by books full of cars yeah and the woodland animals
I mean that's very cheeky because the cars kill the animals.
Exactly.
That's deeply cynical.
Yeah, deeply cynical but therefore a bullseye.
That's right.
Genius.
For the car industry.
Absolutely.
The devil's industry.
These are really good.
Let's have some more after this Supergrass track, why not.
This is bad blood.
I'm losing sleep I walk these dirty streets I heal by blood I run through this neighborhood I don't get it This bed ain't filled with romance This life ain't living It's screaming in my face Alright, on my knees Yeah, not too late
Sky banger Not that long Yeah City's dreaming Can't forget you You're all I got, my love Oh, in the side street shadows I gotta hold my head up There's a stale street stench The goddess ran to her home Oh, milk and honey
I'm gonna heal my heartache I'm gonna take that chance Yeah, I'm gonna dance to the lies I'm on my knees, yeah Muscle late, I don't believe that Man needs god damn gods No, no, no, yeah City's dreaming
Oh, I got my
He's got them gone I'm not alone City's dreaming
Supergrass with bad blood, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Now we were talking about the cynical world of car advertising before, but it, you know, it competes pretty well with the cynical world of television in general, and particularly MTV, and I never thought of MTV as being a particularly cynical channel, did you?
No, but MTV reached a kind of nadir at their last awards where Kanye West, I think, walked out.
Right.
Because he complained about how he was being treated.
And Timberlake, Timbercake and various other people took the opportunity to protest about MTV not playing any pop videos.
Right.
The fact that it's just turned into the most kind of, you know, is exploitative the right word, but very kind of shameless TV channel.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's certainly the word for Carrie Katona's program, which is called Crazy in Love.
I've seen posters for this showing her in a straight jacket.
She's heavily pregnant and she's in a straight jacket.
Always a good combination.
It's great isn't great for the kids and and her and she sort of strapped it's like one big straight jacket for her and her partner I don't know the name of her partner who looks a little unsavory.
He may be a very nice person, but He's behind her and she's sort of
staring defiantly down her nose at people like, you know, sort of saying, yeah, so what?
I'm a complete lunatic and I'm in a straitjacket and I'm heavily pregnant and may well be an unfit mother, but who are you to judge me?
Why don't you watch my program and find out the truth kind of thing?
Very provocative.
Well, that's putting a positive spin on it.
I mean, it's one of the yuckiest posters I've ever seen.
One of the most unpleasant images that I can ever think of.
You know what I mean?
What about the show itself?
Did you watch that?
Certainly lives up to the yuckiness of the poster.
I would say because They make a big song and dance about the fact that she's been diagnosed as bipolar, right?
Which is what it's what it's all the rage right now in the olden days It was called manic depression or you'd say that someone suffered from manic episodes or whatever Britney Spears has got it well, some people are saying that Kerry Katona is like the British Britney, you know and
Oh, who's saying that?
Oh, people.
A vagrant.
I read it in Grazia.
Grazia?
Yes, there was a copy of Grazia and I read it.
Anyway, I'm not calling her the British Britney.
But I think that it's a shame that no one's looking out for her because it's a really weird show.
Okay, so if she really is bipolar or manic depressive, whatever you want to call it,
That's not a condition that should be taken lightly, and she certainly shouldn't be making a grotesque, boring reality show on MTV if she's suffering from that, surely?
Yeah, maybe pop culture is attempting to smash a taboo that shouldn't be smashed.
Right.
But then if she isn't, but then if she genuinely isn't suffering from it, that's even worse that she would go around just pretending to be ill in that way.
And it's just bizarre.
I was watching the show and she seems to be permanently pregnant, but not only pregnant, but it's all that Iceland food she's got right in there.
She's not actually pregnant.
Have you seen what she has at Christmas?
What is she, yeah she has a lot.
She has, she gets nine of every product in Iceland.
That's right.
Spreads it and then she invites all these people around in gaudy sweaters.
Yeah.
And they have, they just all eat and puke and eat and puke and eat and puke.
It's like Mr Creosote.
And the ice cream, the ice cream she has, it's got cheese and fish fingers in it.
There's combinations of turkey and, I don't know, spaghetti.
And you don't even have to defrost it.
No, you don't have to defrost it, you just shove it in their kids, not even in their mouth, just in their faces, they love it.
And then they all smoke fags and go and swing on tiny little swings.
And then they get pregnant.
Then they get pregnant.
Then they get a reality show.
What a life.
Then they go mad, get mentally ill and it's all thumbs up.
They get a series from MTV.
Ka-ching.
Wow.
You've talked me round.
You know what?
We're being so censorious when this is exactly what we should be doing.
Exactly.
To get ourselves back in the public eye.
I'm a crusty old fool.
You.
Get mentally ill.
I will.
I'll get pregnant.
We'll buy a whole lot of food from Iceland.
We'll call MTV.
Bish bash bosh.
It's a plan.
Success.
Sweet.
Have we got some music now?
This is Joe's choice, right?
Have we got the correct version of this?
Joe's very particular about his versions.
Well, we're big prefab sprout fans and we were asking the other week what Paddy McAloon is doing and one of the things he's done is get together with Thomas Dolby and remix Steve McQueen.
One of their best albums and it's out in the shops now under the second disc that's got Paddy doing acoustic versions of some of the tracks from there.
So here's one of those.
It's Appetite.
Please be careful, is never careful, till it is the gun.
And she will always pay the bills for the having big fun.
You talk so well, what can you do?
It's pretty plain.
Means it too I don't want to sell you lies I only mean to do you right But I'm a simple slave of appetite I'm a poor slave of appetite Hunger house, hunger's red Hunger stays until it's fed
Then it somehow fades Then it somehow leaves your sight Depending on its appetite Depending on your appetite So if you take
If you steal, be a weapon hood If your eyes are wanting all they see Then I think I mean you, after me So if you take, then put back good If you steal, be a weapon hood If your eyes are wanting all they see
Then I think I may move after me Then I think I'll call you appetite Here she is with two small problems The best part of the blame Wishing she could call him heartache But it's not a boy's name if you grow
Up to be Just like him Just like me You're fighting for exclusive rights For honeymoons each sleepless night In which case I'll call you Appetite Yes I think I'll call you Appetite So if you take
Then put back good If you steal, be who I've been put If your eyes are wanting all they see Then I think I'll name you after me So if you take
Then put back good if you still beat Robin Hood If your eyes are wanting all they see Then I think I'll name you after me Yes, I think I'll call you Appetite Then I think I'll name you after me Yes, I think I'll call you Appetite
BBC sex music.
Hello, Mystery Jez here.
Let's give him a round of applause.
George Lamb.
I want you to guess which jet this noise comes from.
Can we have the first mystery jet?
Which jet was that guys?
A Harriot.
Stealth bomber.
No.
Can we have the next jet please?
That was a klaxon jet.
A klaxon jet at the end.
That was a new rave jet.
You've got one right, that's good news.
George Lamb's back, Monday morning from 10.
I thought the second one actually sounded like a Eurofighter.
That's why they pay you the big bucks, mate.
You're not even... When?
Six music.
you
Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all But I ain't seen nothin' like him in any amusement hall That death on a black kid sure plays a meme with them all
It sounds like a statue that comes full of the machine.
Me and all the bumpers always play clean.
Plays by intuition, the digit counters fall.
That deaf number's right here.
Sure plays a mean pin.
A pinball wizard, it has to be a twist A pinball wizard's got such a surprise How do you think he does?
I don't know What makes him so good?
Ain't got no distractions, can't hear no buzzin' and bells Don't see no lights a-flashin', plays my sense of smell Always gets a replay, never seen him fall That deaf dumb and blind kid sure plays an e-pinball
I just
Even at my favorite table, he can be my best.
His disciples need him, and he just does the rest.
He's not crazy, clever, faithless, never seen him fall.
That gift of a black kid sure plays a mean pinball.
That was The Who with Pinball Wizard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a documentary, a new feature length documentary.
It may not be new, but I thought it on a plane all about The Who.
I didn't know much about The Who, but it was well wicked.
And I think their first managers were a couple of guys who are actually looking for a band to make a documentary about.
So they started managing them.
And from the very beginning, they started filming them.
So there's lots of really good footage of their very, very first gigs and stuff.
I learnt all about them.
I learnt about what was innovative about their music.
I didn't really know that much about Keith Moon but what an incredible figure he is.
Amazing.
Footage of him is amazing and it's a really good doc.
It makes you really feel for them.
And as it was getting towards the end, I was thinking, well, they're going to smooth over Pete Townshend's trouble that he had a few years ago.
But much to its credit, they don't.
Much to his credit, they don't.
They talk all about it.
It's really good.
I can't remember what it's called.
We'll find out.
But if you're not, even if you're not a fan of The Who, it's a very satisfying rock doc.
I'm Joe Cornish.
Good night.
I wonder if it's out on DVD at the moment or is it a theatrical thing?
I don't know, it's on a plane, they exist in another world, don't they?
You have to go on a plane to see it.
You can't go on a plane to see it.
Seems a little bit much.
It's part of the Who's New Green Drive.
There you go.
Well, we'll find out more and let you know, because I'd like to know about that.
Anyway, it's time for... Textination!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Textination!
What if I don't want to?
Textination!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Have we got time to do this?
Is the news at noon?
Yeah, we got time.
OK, Text the Nation is all about car adverts.
We're asking you whether you can think of a new idea for a car advert.
We're thinking that they've all been done, you know, so much so that some of them are ridiculous.
Yeah, well, we're just curious about where the world of car advertising might go.
My theory is if you can think of a genuinely new way to present a tin box on wheels then you're in the money.
You're on the fast track to a high powered job in the advertising industry.
Ooh I love a high powered job.
Give us some ideas then.
Okay here is one from
Philip and to a lesser extent Lara is written in brackets.
I like the way that Philip is from the outset making sure Lara doesn't get too much credit.
Sure she's there but don't get too excited about her because it's all about Philip.
She's just a runner.
He says P.S.
where copyright is in real life.
No.
Really.
Okay, get this.
My car ad would be like Fantastic Voyage or whatever the B movie was called.
It was called Fantastic Voyage.
Where they get injected into the body of a patient.
You could also have Inner Space, 80s kind of re-versioning.
Yeah, a bunch of trendy young people, brackets, but not too trendy so you can tell that they don't do drugs very often, close brackets, get into the new Ford whatever and then zoom into someone's mouth before having a fantastic voyage, quite literally in said person's bloodstream.
Eventually, they come out of his or her rectum.
The caption is, then you forward whatever.
It's in your blood.
It's in your blood.
He's thought of the tagline first and then worked backwards.
The person they drive around should be some cool celeb, possibly Dermot from Big Brother.
Yeah, he'd probably do it.
He probably would do it.
He'd let you film his rectum.
He certainly would.
Come on.
I love that word.
The rectum.
I don't, I hate it.
That is a good technique though if you're in advertising, of course, is just to think of the... Just to nick a film.
No, but think of the aphorism or the phrase, you know, popular phrase, and then work backwards there.
Think of the literal translation of that phrase in visual terms.
Okay.
Do you know what I mean?
So what would the literal translation of this phrase be?
The new Ford car, more comfortable than a bra.
What would be going on on screen for that?
A woman wearing cars on her boobs.
Even I could think of that one.
Yeah, and it would be demonstrating how capacious the back was.
Exactly.
The nice hatchback feature.
Yeah, how good the support was, the suspension.
Exactly.
That's a good idea.
It's good, thanks man.
And you'd get a celebrity who was famous for her large balcony area.
What's her name from, Kenny Everett?
clear ochos yeah for uh for the new reno cleo yeah you know it's all coming to go is that sexist very sprester sexist is it here's another one uh from a man who lives in peru or maybe doesn't live in peru grew up in peru and this is a bit tangential he's called pedro juan bancos gringos can that be real no that can't be real
Do you think this whole thing's a joke?
Yeah.
That text.
I'm not going to read it then.
Oh, give us that one.
Wait, no, we'll do it.
I'll show it to you in the next record.
Oh, alright then.
Here's another one then.
This is good.
This is from Chris in Durham.
Here's a selection of ideas for car adverts.
Cars made of cheese driving along roads made out of crackers.
Mmm.
You see he's got a whole new visual environment there.
Absolutely.
And one that we can all associate with.
Cheese and crackers.
Yeah.
You're not a fan of cheese, are you Adam?
Personally, I don't like cheese but I love crackers.
Here's another one.
Cars as Russian dogs.
These are all from Chris in Durham Monkeys driving cars off cliffs
Here's another one.
What?
I don't quite get the idea of that, but it would certainly be spectacular.
Yeah.
People would talk about it.
That's all you need.
People love monkeys and nuns and midgets.
You can't fail.
Exactly.
Perhaps one advert could amalgamate all three ideas.
Chris, you are on fire.
Get yourself down to Purvis, Tottenbridge and... Wendell Farm.
Wendell Farm and get a job.
Do you want another one?
Yeah let's have one more and then we'll play some music and wrap up Text-A-Nation thereafter.
From Colin and Fanny.
This is really good Colin and Fanny.
Again I think you deserve a high-powered job in the advertising industry for this.
A whole series of kids car toys.
Scalextric.
Now has anyone done Scalextric with real cars?
Have they done it and if not why not?
You'd have to strike a deal with whoever makes Scalextric.
who is it um my dad your dad you have to strike a deal with adam's dad uh pull back and go cars is another very good one uh-huh yeah remote controlled cars someone must have done that surely like that's been done surely giant people remote controlling cars those matchbox cars on tracks that loop the loop
yeah with tiny people inside like hot wheels exactly like hot wheels those are these are really good ideas yeah most likely accompanied by kids by Kylie Minogue or Robbie Williams's children what oh no kids by Kylie and Robbie or children by EMF followed by the slogan makes you feel like a kid again right yeah
That's quite good, isn't it?
It is good.
I feel as if that has been done maybe, but it's still good.
I like where you're coming from.
You know, it pays to be obvious in advertising.
Let's have more of those finally after this next track.
This is the Black Keys with... No, it's not the Black Keys.
Why would we play the Black Keys?
We've got a Black Keys embargo here.
This is a disaster.
We don't.
It's a joke.
I'm not winning that award now.
Oh, don't... No, exactly.
Curtis Mayfield with Move On Up.
And don't cry Your folks might understand you By and by Just move on up Toward your destination Though you may find from time to time
Though there may be a wet road ahead And you cannot slip Just move on up A piece of your mind Into this people A beautiful people Where there's only one kind So hush now child
understand you, by and by.
Move on up and keep on wishing.
Remember your dream is your only skin so keep on pushing.
Take nothing less Than the suffering best Do not obey No must be forsaken You can pass the test Just move on up To a greater day With just a little faith If you put your mind to it You can surely do it
Just move on
Curtis Mayfield with his cover of the Paul Weller classic, Move On Up.
That's just a little joke there.
It's a tiny one.
It's Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
Coming up in any of the seconds, what are coming up is going to be song wars.
That was well spoken, wasn't it?
It's a good little bit of grammar.
Thanks, mate.
We're going to have two callers that speak foreign languages on the phone to judge, ratify, appropriate
Is that a word?
Dunno.
Our songs.
That's exciting.
Take it from me.
That is exciting.
I know about excitement.
I'm worried that they won't be able to hear all the words I've packed in there properly.
Just don't worry.
It's just not worth worrying about anything.
It's Saturday.
That's true, isn't it?
Stop worrying.
It's a nice day out there, listeners.
It's all going to be cool.
Has the wind calmed down?
Are those workmen being blown off the scaffolding over there or are they okay?
Looks okay.
Everything's fine.
Who had the blustery day?
Was it Winnie the Pooh?
Yes.
He's having a lovely day today.
Is he?
Yeah.
Just imagine you're Winnie the Pooh in your red boots.
What happened on this blustery day?
Just had a wicked time.
Did he?
Flown about the place.
Umbrella fun?
They had a kite.
Umbrella.
Piglet floated off on a balloon.
That sounds horrific.
The balloon was full of glue.
Piglet was in an alley.
It's like Enduring Love.
It's like Enduring Love, they were holding on to the balloon, they didn't know when to let go.
Piglet let go and he came and his torso was all crushed and Winnie the Pooh was traumatised and then he got stalked by... Hey, there are kids listening, you might freak them out.
Sorry kids.
Sorry kids.
It's not true, none of it happened, Piglet's fine.
More music?
Yes, here's the British Sea Power.
Hey you, give me the turning stone
Forget the rest of the show A man with a skull and bone You think you know but you don't It's all done now you go Not to make it go Several years have passed come
It's in the castle, around twenty years It's the last breakthrough, the wind in your hair
Allons-y, let's go You can always just say no To the empty aircraft crew The boys from the hippo youth Silk and cyanide Six weeks left alive Let us go on board You think you know, but you don't So don't, I will go
And we can beat them all.
We're counting our sins.
We're only 20 years.
But it's a loss for me.
Is that what the future holds?
Is that what the future holds?
Keflar or Cherrywood?
A level and so good Is that what the future holds?
Is that what the future holds?
Is that what the future holds?
Is that what the future holds?
It's time for songs Wars, the war of the songs
yes it's song wars time this is the part of the show where adam and i both uh individually in isolation compose a song on a chosen theme and then we play them both to you and you vote to vote for which is best that's as simple as you can put it really
and you're allowed to vote right the way through the week so if you're listening to this show with the Listen Again facility then of course it's no good texting but you can email your vote and the winner of Song Wars will be announced on next week's show.
Yes.
Now this week's theme is foreign language songs.
I did one in French, Adam did one in Spanish.
We're going to start with my song and we have a fluent French speaker on the line to kind of assess my song.
His name is Aiden.
How are you doing Aidan, are you there?
Yes, I'm here, yes.
Bonjour, bonjour.
Bonjour Aidan, ça va?
ça va bien et vous?
Yeah, oui qu'il tard mais.
You're a French teacher, is that right?
I am indeed, yes.
So you're charged with... 15 years, man and boy.
Really?
And are you good?
Do your pupils like you?
They... hate me.
Do they really?
No, some of them love me.
And Aidan, are you the kind of teacher, what's your surname incidentally?
Docherty.
Docherty, so you're Monsieur Docherty, Monsieur Docherty, do you make them call you Monsieur Docherty?
I do indeed, yes.
Are you one of these teachers?
Excuse me sir, can I go to the bench?
Exactly right.
Do you, so you speak French all the time in your classes, you would walk in the room and everything you say would be in French, is that right?
Well yes, mostly.
Yeah, yeah.
Apart from things like, why do you not have your homework done?
Which needs more directness.
Apart from that, yeah.
Of course.
Not for a while.
You see, I teach in Corinne, which is about 4 million maids from France.
We don't have the chunnel.
That's true.
It really is a 10-day camel race.
Plus, it's a liability, man.
You take their teens out there, they get all crazy hiked up on it.
Yeah, but that's an important part of anyone's childhood, is a trip to France.
Yeah that's true.
The what?
Oh man, France is full of illegal... Flick knives.
The fireworks.
Throwing stars.
Loose women.
All the presenters of that program, loose women, they're over there and anyone can snog their flabby old faces.
Hello?
So let's hear Joe's song and, Aidan, listen very carefully.
We're going to want you to tell us whether you think Joe's use of French was A. accurate, B. creative, C. Well, give us a C. Fun.
Fun!
OK, so here's his song all about the lovely actresses of France.
OK.
Ah, j'adore les actresses français, Juliette Benoît, avec une brioche, flonoré le longue de rivgouge, Paris je t'aime, regardez bien tristale, est son ami Pascal, a chuté du pain du boulangerie.
Ah, les baguettes et voix si Catherine de Neuve,
No?
Okay.
It's not bad.
I'm not sure le poppidou is an actual commonly used French phrase.
Is it, Aidan, can you tell us that?
It's not particularly... Oh, le poppidou.
It sounds a bit like pompidou.
Oh, like pompidou.
The big shop in Paris.
It's not?
Is it a shop or is it not a Richard Rogers designed art gallery area?
It is, but you can buy things on it.
The Centre Pompidou.
Yeah, it's got a gallery shop, hasn't it?
It has, yeah, you can buy pencils.
I've out-frenched you there.
I'm not French than you are, mate.
So, Aidan, how was the grammar that Joe was using in there?
Okay, now I have to turn to you here, obviously, gentlemen.
So, a couple of grammatical errors.
Not very many, just a couple.
What were they?
Well, écrise, as you know, is feminine plural.
So, tout les écrise.
That's what I said.
You said two ladies, actually.
Two, two ladies?
Fair enough.
I'm taking it on the chin, sir.
I might follow you home.
The only other thing was I think you said fair, I'm sorry, I think you said fair, it should have been fair.
It should have been the incentive.
So how would you say that?
I'm very happy with it.
How would you say that, sir?
Voulez-vous fait l'amour avec moi?
Down to a B, I think.
How would you grade that, Monsieur?
Again, apart from that, as I say, you did more or less what I would tell the kids in school.
You stuck with what you know, and you kept it simple.
Babelfish.
8 out of 10.
B plus?
B, B, gimme B, gimme B. Aidan, thanks very much.
That's very kind of you to cooperate in this stupid charade.
What?
It's a pleasure.
He's talking to you in your own stupid language.
Don't talk to me like that or I will ram a baguette in your nose.
Yeah, but thank you very much indeed and good luck with your teaching.
You're a great man.
People like you should be celebrated more than the actors at the Oscars.
Exactly.
Yeah, they should do some kind of film with Robin Williams about you about you.
Cheers, Aidan.
Thanks very much.
Didn't sound very excited about that film.
Take care.
Bye bye.
Now we will we will do the same thing with my track.
We will be talking to a Spanish speaking expert after this by the young new young pony club.
This is the bomb.
You really have to display information To discover relativity You know fake love and peacemaker Come and take a moment with your eyes
Emotional equation Don't test the moment when you break the sun
Dancing, you're tearing it off
the new young pony club with the bomb uh not the old young pony club or the old old pony club no no one cares about them anymore uh it's the new one that's a song about dan singh are they gonna have to rename themselves when they're not new anymore exactly i used to have a stuffed toy when i was a child called i called it newy
Because it was new.
And, you know, I thought eventually I'd have to call it oldie, but I never did.
No, it'll be fine.
The young knives will be the young knives until they're 60.
And that's the way it goes in rock and roll.
So we're in the midst of song wars, our weekly battle of self composed songs this week on the theme of a foreign language.
I've done mine in French, Adam's done his in Spanish, both about actresses.
And we are playing the songs to some fluent foreign language speaking people.
can speak the language.
So who have we got on the line?
This is Lydia Pollock on the line.
She's, she lives in Barcelona.
She's actually listening to this program in Barcelona.
Hi, are you there Lydia?
Hello.
Hola.
What are you doing listening to this when you're in Barcelona?
What's the weather?
How's the weather in Barcelona?
Oh it's lovely yeah it's quite hazy but it's warm.
About 20 degrees or so.
Is there any time difference there in Barcelona?
You're one hour ahead aren't you?
One hour that's right yeah.
I'm imagining you in a kind of sexy silky dress.
In a sort of a tiled front room with very beautiful furniture.
and it's beautiful outside the window windows are sunny there are exotic birds fluttering in and out yeah that'll be pretty much accurate that's it and there's a bowl of paella on the side and no no it's a bit early for lunch you see they have lunch a bit later here yeah you've got your castanets by the phone there you're calling that's right yeah what do you do for a living in in Barcelona there Lydia um i'm a teacher too are you like the previous caller yeah like Aiden and what do you teach
Well, I teach English, not French.
OK, right, right.
So you teach English to Spanish students.
That's right.
And obviously you are fluent in Spanish.
How long have you lived there?
I've been here for about seven years now.
right okay and it's a long time yeah very enjoyable i would imagine i love spain and i really wish i could spend a good amount of time there so i could get back into the language but he's hitting on you lydia and he wants to stay at your house yeah yeah that's what i was getting at him come and stay at your house just adam
I spat you in the night.
Why did you have to add that on?
Because everyone knows that's what you're thinking.
Lydia, let's get off this whole jag, shall we?
And I'll play you my track.
This is a track that I've written entirely in Spanish.
I really laboured hard to try and get some rhymes in here and it's fairly densely worded, so the grammar of the thing... Yeah, I did listen to it.
I did listen to it and I listened to it with my flatmate as well, who's Spanish.
Lydia?
hold on to those judgments because we're going to hear the song again and then we're going to find out exactly what you think about it.
So here we go.
Penelope Cruz, me gusta si estaba en van de la sky y gótica y blue y volver que no el visto y otros no el visto sempares se nombotados pero el ya es bonita I am Penelope Cruz, hola yo tengo pelo negro y yojos, hermosos pero peneno yo tengo estaría alegre conduciero una legro y después haca una nierda gigante
Oh, pardon me, this is my stomach.
Ay caramba, it's a little too much for me.
Ooh!
So there you go.
I was trying to do a little Penelope Cruz impression there because she has a very particular way of speaking and it's sort of the, I use this word too often, but quintessential kind of Spanish accent.
Lydia, are you still there?
Have you taken your own life?
You're there.
Good.
So listen, let's start with your understanding of those lyrics.
What was that song about?
I didn't understand a word.
Well, the song was that he was basically going through Penelope Cruz films and some that he hadn't seen like Volver.
Yeah.
Right.
What was the first bit about?
I don't know.
I didn't catch all of it.
And as I said, I listened to it early with my flatmate and we didn't really catch all of it.
So hang on.
Her name is Penelope Cruz.
Let's get this straight.
You're both fluent Spanish speakers and you understand it?
Well, I'll say this for you now.
It says, Yo soy Penelope Cruz.
Hola.
Yo tengo pelo necro.
I am Penelope Cruz.
Hello.
Okay, Penelope Cruz, I've got black hair.
Y ojos hermosos pero peneno yo tengo.
What does that say?
Hang on, translate it.
She didn't understand.
Got to be marks off for that.
Baffling an actual, that didn't happen with my guy.
And how about this then?
Obviously remember it's a family show.
Ah, okay, right, yes.
She said, I don't have a penis.
Yeah, there you go.
That was quite a good play on words there.
Yeah, thanks very much.
Slightly obvious, but... Well, how about this then for a play on words?
It's never obvious though.
Estaría allegre, conducir un allegro.
I would be happy driving a... what's a legro?
What's a legro?
It's a car, isn't it?
I'd be happy driving in a legro.
Do you know nothing about Penelope Cruz?
She would be happy making abstract statements that could apply to anybody.
Y despues haga una mierda giante.
yeah yeah yeah can i say that or not no don't say the actual words and afterwards she would go to the loo in a big way this song is lowering in my estimation it's filthy and how about this this is actually based on an incident in penelope's life um
Okay, so she's saying that my long eyelashes were made for you.
There you go.
Was that an incident in her life?
Yes, because she did this- I wouldn't call that an incident.
No, she did this L'Oreal ad for this eyelash stuff that was supposed to make your eyelashes look longer, and it turned out that they'd stuck falsies on her for the ad.
It was a scandal, and I worked it into the song in Spanish!
I'm a kind of genius!
So Lydia, listen, in a sort of brief few seconds, tell us what you thought of that song.
8 out of 10, for instance.
At 8 out of 10, I'd give it 7 and a half.
Oh, miss.
A, B, or C, plus or minus?
I'll give it a B plus.
A B plus.
Lydia, thank you very, very much indeed for joining us.
My pleasure.
My pleasure.
We're privileged that you're listening.
Oh, can I just give my love to my family?
No, absolutely not.
Can I give my love to Sophie and Colin, the kids, and anyone else who's down in Wales.
No way.
And I just miss you all loads and see you soon.
Sorry, no, it's not the kind of thing we do.
Thanks for calling.
Here's the news read by Harvey Cook and the music news read by Andre Payne.
Thanks, Lydia.
On digital radio and online, BBC 6Music.
Harry touches down, jobs boost from massive plane order and why snoring could be bad for your health.
And in 6 Music News, Radiohead praised by the government and New Decemberists on the way.
Maybe soon, just after 11.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
In the past few moments, Prince Harry has landed at RAF Brides Norton in Oxfordshire.
The Prince has spent the last 10 weeks fighting on the front line in Afghanistan, but was withdrawn after a media blackout was broken.
Our Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is at Brides Norton.
It's going to be very, very low-key.
I mean, it's the regular business of Bryce Norton, backwards and forwards these runs to Iraq, to Afghanistan.
Families will be here.
Prince Charles, Prince William will be waiting.
Whether they're out on the tarmac, I think is very doubtful.
There are no ceremonies.
It is very low-key.
Next on Six Music, thousands of British jobs with the aviation company Airbus have been secured by the award of a £20 billion order from the US Air Force.
Workers in Bristol and Broughton in North Wales will provide the wings and other components for a fleet of refuelling planes.
Gordon Brown has said the order confirms his fundamental optimism for the country.
He's been setting out his vision for the future of Britain in a speech to Labour's Spring Conference in Birmingham.
He spoke about tackling the effects of globalisation and about ending child poverty.
Let's us equip
every young person for the global economy.
So we will give a guarantee for every teenager who qualifies the right that we should have given years ago, the right of every qualified young person to an apprenticeship in this country.
David Cameron has sharply rebuked a conservative peer who described nurses as grubby, drunken and promiscuous.
He said Lord Mancroft should think more carefully before opening his mouth.
Travellers are facing severe disruption on the main rail route between Scotland and London today.
Containers shared from freight trains in Buckinghamshire and Cumbria are causing blockages on the west coast main line.
Research by Hungarian scientists suggests that heavy snorers are significantly more likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke than other people.
Their findings add weight to existing theories of a link between snoring and heart disease.
Sport and the top three in the Premier League are all in action this afternoon.
Leaders Arsenal host Aston Villa at the Emirates, Manchester United go to Fulham, and it's West Ham against Chelsea who will be hoping they can put their canning cup defeat behind them.
Now for Six Music News, Andre Payne.
Six Music News.
Well, it seems Radiohead are having an influence on our politicians after David Cameron said he borrowed the pay-what-you-want idea from Thom Yorke for a new Tory membership campaign.
Now the government is praising the band, Culture Minister Margaret Hodge reckons Radiohead's download strategy has boosted live music.
The music industry is working really, really hard.
BPI showed me a lot of stuff that they're doing.
And you've only got to look at the Radiohead example, just one.
They found that by putting the stuff and saying, pay what you want.
A, as I understand it, they didn't do badly.
They got four pounds per download.
But B, what they then did was encourage people into live music.
You can hear the full interview on the Music Week tomorrow at one.
The rapper Juvenal is mourning the death of his four-year-old daughter.
A 17-year-old boy is accused of shooting the girl, her 11-year-old sister and mother, at their home in Georgia.
Juvenal admitted paternity of the girl two years ago.
And finally, Decemberist singer Colin Malloy says the band are going to the studio this month.
He's also releasing a solo live album in April and going on the road in the US to try out the band's new songs.
That's six, Music News.
Your next bulletin is at 12.30.
BBC Six Music.
On Monday from 9.30, Six Music plays it again.
The stiff record story with Suggs.
Six Music.
Adam and Joe.
Everybody here comes from somewhere.
The day we just ask and forget in disguise.
No one saw your fear If that apparition had just appeared Took you up and away from the space Sincere humiliation Of your teenage station
He's alive, he's alive But he cried, and he cried, and he cried, and he cried If you crawl out safe, then I'll stop right away If the premise buckles and the ropes start to shaver The detail is smart, but the story's the same You don't have to explain, you don't have to explain
he's alive he's alive
Everybody here comes from somewhere.
That they look just as safe, oh yeah.
A disguise.
There he cried and he cried.
He's alive, he's alive.
There's nothing talking, there's nothing here Don't be afraid, I will hold you here for now Stay on square, you first betray
That's REM with Supernatural Super Serious and they're playing London's Royal Albert Hall for Six Music on the 24th of March with support from Folds and Duke Spirits and you can win tickets to go by logging on to the Six Music website where you will find details.
I love details.
I love them as well there's lots of them on there.
So listen it's not looking good for me in Song Wars I just get the sense that
I've clashed with this Flight of the Conchords song that I've never heard.
Are you getting lots of comparisons there?
Yeah, people are thinking I've copied it.
I've just got to go a bit weirder in future I think.
But here's an email that came in during the week from Bill in Derby.
He says he's first of all very happy that Song Wars is back.
And he says, you know, you're both very mismatched in terms of comedy song creation.
Once again, Joe has tossed off yet another note-perfect parody stroke, as a word I can't say, take, of a COD French tune.
Joe can do any style.
He's like Beatle Paul.
To wit, Michelle, when I'm 64, oh la diobly da doo doo and honey pie.
I don't really know the Beatles very well.
Adam, on the other hand, is like Frank Zappa.
His creations are often darker and more challenging, subversive, anti-establishment.
There's more of Adam in his songs than there is of Joe in his own tunes, I conclude.
Joe is the populist, Adam is the anarchist, which, interestingly, runs counter to your apparent radio personas.
That of the eager-to-please Adam and the un sous-son cynical Joe.
Mmm, entre son.
With these deconstructions in mind, I'm voting for... I shan't read that out.
That's going to stay a secret.
So I'm not saying I agree with any of that but it's interesting.
I really like it when listeners think really hard about it and analyse it.
About what we're like.
Makes me feel special.
Eager to please.
I'm not eager to please.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm eager to please.
I love you listeners.
I love you.
I don't care about you listeners.
I think you're.
I'm not populist.
I'm going to do such a weird song in the next fortnight.
It's going to be so weird it's going to out weird your songs.
Your songs are going to look like standard issue songs compared to my one.
Well, folks, after this next track, which I've chosen for you, and I will explain to you in great detail which track it is, because I'm so eager to please.
After this next track, we will wrap up Text-A-Nation for you this week.
And don't forget that we need some suggestions for future... You can suggest anything to us, you know, Text-A-Nation or Song Wars topics.
Don't be shy.
Keep your emails and texts coming in.
yeah don't let your feelings roll on by just uh just text them on in um themes but mainly themes for song wars we're going to do this uh song wars thing every other week that's right so next week we'll announce the winner and we'll also pick a theme so you know it's just non-stop excitement non-stop excitement which continues now with this delightful track from lou reed and this is a track that i don't think is played very often on the radio and it's from his 1991 album new sensations
which was something of a return to form after years in the wilderness for Reed but it's an album I'm really fond of and this track is sort of romantic and it's a little cheesy sounding he's got he's got a sort of Mick Carnes type bass on there a little bit but it's romantic it's about him going off on his motorbike and driving through the land and here it is this is New Sensations by Lou Reed it's quite a
I don't like build bits, stone is stupid Dark and disorderly, I ain't no cupid Two years ago today I was arrested on Christmas Eve I don't want pain, I wanna walk, not be carried I don't wanna give it up, I wanna stay married I ain't no dog, tied to a park car
Talking bout some new sensations Talking bout some new sensations
So when time is smooth I want to eradicate my negative views And get rid of those people who are always on the down It's easy enough to tell what is wrong But that's not what I want to hear All night long Some people are like humans to an audience
shine.
Talking to new sensations I took my G-PZ out for a ride The engine felt good between my thighs The air felt cold, it was 40 degrees outside
I rode to Pennsylvania near the Delaware Gap.
Sometimes I got lost and had to check the map.
I stopped at a roadside diner for a burger and a Coke.
There were some country folk and some hunters inside.
Somebody got themselves married and somebody died.
I went to the jukebox and played a hillbilly song.
They was arguing about football as I weaved and went outside And I hit it for the mountains feeling warm inside I love that GPC so much you know that I could kiss her Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Talking about your new sensations Talking about your new sensations
I'm losing sight Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
On the Music Week this week, we're joined by two of the Music World's greatest legends.
As the enemy blesses them with godlike genius status, we chat in depth with the Manic Street Preachers.
Plus, who inspires music's greats?
I sit down with Nick Cave to talk about his heroes and meeting Johnny Cash.
He was led down the stairs with his kind of arms out going, Nick, are you there?
Are you there?
When he picked up his guitar, the years just kind of dropped away.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
BBC 6 Music.
Is it technically possible to play just the very beginning of that trail again?
No.
I just like the way the man went, 6 music.
Do you see that?
The beginning.
Right.
How do they get people to do that?
How do you get yourself into the frame of mind in a voiceover booth to say six music in such a kind of, you know, fashionable way?
Well, they'll give him a selection, I would imagine.
Really?
Some of the other ones he's probably going, six music?
Six music.
It's like, it's like he hates the station.
Yeah.
And someone's just threatened to hit him unless he says it.
Well, you know, that's the... But it's cool not to care, isn't it?
That's why Lily Allen's such a big hit.
It's true.
That's why it stung when that guy said I was eager to please.
That hurts, boy.
Really?
Nobody likes someone who's eager to please.
It's so unfashionable.
It's very unfashionable.
Yeah.
Where as I am.
But your true nature.
It's true.
It's so difficult.
It's goofy and upbeat.
So should we wrap up?
Are we in a position to wrap up text to text?
Yeah, we've got a couple here.
We're asking you for your ideas for innovative new car adverts.
You know?
Do you know?
I think I do.
Phil in Chorley says millions of tiny ants as opposed to giant ones come as one forming a giant car that weaves through mountains and trees before crashing into something then splitting back into the hordes of ants that scurry back into their nests a little sore but happy.
Yeah.
What is that saying about the car?
I mean it's a visual feast.
It needs a catchphrase doesn't it?
Yeah.
Got ants in your pants?
Get into your car and drive somewhere nice.
That's good man.
You just came up with that.
I just diddled it.
Ants in your pants.
Yeah you shouldn't say diddled.
Sorry why not.
Carry on.
This is from Abby Kelly in Wilsdon.
a car ad idea colon see a car total silence then suddenly headlights flip on grill on the front opens up and huge ominous mouth with metal teeth opens up and starts talking really deep voice like James Earl Jones starts describing the features and the style of the car then it stops talking does a huge thunderous burp and out comes a family slogan then says let the car do the talking
right that's got the family that's quite good isn't it would the family be okay they'd probably there'd be a bit of a stench they'd be wafting the weird burpee stench um that's pretty much it for for car adverts ideas that's a good lot man that's another long one that i haven't read that involves richard hammond from james in edinburgh do you want me to read that
yeah go on then a cliff overlooking the sea on an overcast day two medieval shepherds watch over their flock on the cliff's edge music plain song shot of the sea which begins to gently stir close up of shepherd as he turns to watch the water rumbling heard from the sea louder and louder music changes to Prelude to Parsifal by Richard Wagner slowly a church spire raises from the ocean close up to astonished face of shepherds spire continues to rise blah blah blah basically a church comes out of the water Richard Hammond comes out of the church
Uh, driving in a car, the car stops in front of the shepherds, window rolls down to reveal a smug looking Hammond, hands the peasants a kipper, in a clear reference to the aquatic lotus, a spree seen in The Spy Who Loved Me.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hammond drives off, leaving the befuddled shepherd staring in disbelief, letters come up on the screen reading, Renno, drive your imagination.
I think that's just real.
From James in Edinburgh.
Well yeah, I needn't have read it, you made me read it, it's your fault.
That's good.
I mean, that's very thoroughly explained there.
That's it for text donation this week, though, I think one or two listeners are going to have very successful careers in the advertising industry.
Yeah, exactly.
We can all sell out together.
So thank you very much indeed for all your texts and emails on that.
There'll be more next week, of course.
Now, Joe, this is your choice.
Yeah, this is really good and I'm sorry it's got put at the end of the show.
I get the feeling that songs at the end of the show are somehow less important than the ones at the beginning.
No, man, it's the climax of the show.
When does listenership peak?
Because I assume everyone's gone shopping at about eleven.
No.
Not for our show.
I would imagine most people.
Nine's a bit too early.
I would imagine between ten or eleven.
our listenership peaks to maybe six or seven people no no anyway this is a classic this is a bit of hip-hop it's by a group called black moon uh they were i think they were all under 16 when they recorded this uh it's a remix of one of their best tracks pretty sure it doesn't have any swearing in it i'm a hundred percent sure this is black moon with gotcha open
We're up
I saw my man, he had a hell in his hand Hide it from the beast, at least I catch a buzz before I hit my block I'll take and make a hit from there On the good ship, lollipop, move the hop So I can put the hip in the grip Everybody slip so I can take a trip To the dick, dig the deep I hold the microphone, control with soul Look at my hot eyes and tell me, how could you be cold?
I'm coming to you from the underground With thunder sound Number one question, yo, how can I be down?
Bring your lighter and roll your finger Back up on your lighter so you see the fire finger Full from left to right, then front to back Urban verbal letters give the mic contact React whenever I keep the head scoping Ah, don't front, you know I got your open Don't front, you know I got your open It's the original, it's me, original crook Don't front, you know I got your open Check my dire neck from my dire friend, my man
You know I got you open, it's the other genial, heads me in the other genial, fuck that, don't fuck that.
You know I got you open, check the dialect from my doctor friend, my man.
Me and my fool walk the streets at night, like looking for the right one, baby.
If it's payday, I'm at your doorstep.
I never sweat swinging the F nowadays, cause my rep is known for the tricks that are straight like toys in the cypher with my boys.
When you get a busy record shop, I drop the top and make the seats pop.
From the live that I sparked last night in the dark, I be dedicated to the moon cause it's black versus black.
Come back, tell me about the other sidejacks.
Now we going back to who got the props when I blew up the spot last year on the box.
To come back with another fat single Not too underground to make it stop when you mingle Pay attention to the third verse And I'ma take you to another level first Don't front, you know I got your openness The original has me in the original crooks Don't front, you know I got your open And you're sweating even being number one DJ Don't front, you know I got your openness The original has me in the original crooks
You know I got you open now you're sweating it will be number one DJ First of all listen, I'm letting you know that when you see me at a show you better prepare for the flow right away I'm dimming the bride today, it's never sunny Still on a head move but the honey out to pay Till I enter the brother zone I come to the front of the stage to let you know who's on the phone Leave it alone, see it's a hip hop thing Not a fake drip drop thing but corny ass slang You can fool the rest but you can't fool me See the best fool me
For the simple fact it's the G-O-G, buck to the shot Still to protect, then ruck to the rock So forget the pass, no more shorty, strictly one shot A rocket one down to forty, my lord I gots to let him know, that I elevated level tiger every time I felt the fire People tried this when the jam got cold Used to be the man, now the band got old I know the plan, so I keep on scoping
Don't front, you know I got your old, I got your old Don't front, you know I got your old pen It's the original, it's me and the original crook Don't front, you know I got your old pen Check the dialect from my dog, your friend, my man Don't front, you know I got your old pen It's the original, it's me and the original crook Don't front, you know I got your old pen Check the dialect from my dog, your friend, my man Yeah Without no doubt
Big fire, big dread, grills in the place
That's Black Moon with Gotcha Open.
If you're a fan of the Hippity Hop, I do recommend you check out Black Moon.
Not sure they're around anymore, but they were amazing.
Their first album especially, I think it's called Enter Da Stage.
Enter Da Stage is fantastic.
I didn't hear any filthy language there.
No, I think it was swear free, which is unusual for the hip hop genre.
Very well done young men because they love swearing.
They love to swear.
Nice to see some young men setting a good example for a change.
Now we're both profoundly excited because we've just been told that Liz Kershaw is away so Claire Crogan's sitting in for her and we're both quite starstruck.
Exactly.
We're not pleased obviously that Liz Kershaw is away.
No.
We're just happy that Claire is here and filling in for her.
There's going to be some quite awkward conversation when our paths cross in a second.
That's right.
Especially for me because I'm so eager to please
You're so eager, please.
I'm just going to be very laid back and, you know, Mr. Cool.
Just before we go, a bit of house cleaning for you, ladies and gentlemen, things we were talking about earlier.
The Who documentary is called Amazing Journey, The Story of The Who, and it's available on DVD in all good DVD shops.
It's not The Kids Are All Right, which is an old concert film.
This is a new one.
It was revamped and everything.
This is a new one.
I'm going to go and get it right now.
I'm going to step into dirty Oxford street and snap it up if I can.
And uh, I was talking about Lou Reed's album, new sensations, not 1991.
I was joking.
It was a joke.
You fell for it.
You fell for it.
You thought I was serious.
I wasn't serious.
It was 1984.
Anyone would know that 1984 it came out.
Definitely because it's got a song all about video games called My Red Joystick on there.
How silly.
It's quite a silly song.
What a silly thing for him to sing about.
A ludicrous song.
A waste of time.
And another song on the same album called Down at the Arcade, where he talks about putting money down on Robert Dran, which is a good lyric.
Sounds very stupid.
Anyway, folks, thank you so much indeed for listening to us this week.
We've really appreciated all your texts and emails.
Really nice to speak to some humans on the phone as well.
Humans.
more often nice to speak to humans nice we like humans nice humans uh what's that love oh yeah the podcast will be available from i think 6 p.m tomorrow yeah and listen again all week if you want to go through the whole three hour torture thing um thanks a lot for listening we'll see you at the same time next week nine till noon here on six music stay tuned for claire grogan bbc six music
on digital online bbc six music