Six, music.
Today from two, John Holmes.
From midday, Liz Kershaw.
And now, it's Adam and Joe.
Adam and Jones on six music.
When I talk about it, carries on, reasons only new.
When I talk about it, carries on, reasons only new.
Me to talk about it, I could stand to prove If we can get around it, I know that that's true Well, I talked about it, you carried on The reason's only new But it's you I fell into
When I talked about it, carries on, reasons all renew When I talked about it, eries all, treasons all renew Beg me to talk about it, I could stand through
I know that it's true Well, I talked about it, put it on Never was it true But it's you I fell into Well, I talked about it, put it on Never was it true But it's you I fell into
No, just you stop it.
Stop talking.
No, you're still down a little bit there.
Oh, that's nice.
That's good, man.
Say something.
Go on, say something to me.
I love chocolate.
I want to eat chocolate all over my mouth.
I want to put it in my mouth and chew it and swallow it so it sits in my tummy.
Yeah, you could do adverts.
I could, couldn't I?
Hey, listen, listeners.
Good morning.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
Hope you've had a good night's sleep.
Adam and I, of course, have been out all night clubbing.
Yeah, we've been partying.
I was at the Scrunchbox in Mayfair with Tara Farah-Tomkinson.
I was at the Nunty Rooms.
Really?
In Depresta.
I was raving on a pill.
I was so drugs.
I wasn't, when I say a pill, I mean like an aspirin.
Right.
I was all over the drugs.
Were you?
No, and it was sweaty and sexy, and I was dancing with a girl, and she was sexy, and she wasn't wearing much, but I looked closer and she had stitched into the nape of her back, you know, the bottom of her back, a little label saying, Chlamydia.
Chlamydia, that's nice.
Like in one of those adverts.
So I thought, no, I won't bother.
Which adverts are you talking about?
The ones about chlamydia.
Then I went, then I was dancing with another girl and she was really, really sexy.
And, uh, but then I saw she was wearing a necklace, uh, saying chlamydia.
Oh dear.
Yes.
It's a shame.
Puts you off, doesn't it?
It does put you off, but, but it's, I'm happy it's so clearly signposted these days.
You know what?
It doesn't put me off.
doesn't it no i like it you love it yes because i think a it's a pretty name for a girl it is and uh b it suggests to me that maybe they're promiscuous in which case i'm in there you are in there do you understand yes i understand good good hey listeners thank you very much for joining us we hope you're going to stick with us for as long as you can until midday which is how long we're here until we've got good music for you and entertaining chit chat
Um, and let's continue in that vein right now.
This is a good link, isn't it, man?
I'm impressed.
The way I'm talking, stringing all these words together.
Yeah.
It's pretty impressive stuff, isn't it?
So now, I don't know anything about this band.
Who are they?
Pink Squares?
No, no, no.
I was a Cub Scout.
I always get that wrong.
I was a Cub Scout.
We've played this before, haven't we?
Yeah.
And it's good, I seem to recall, in my brainium.
So this is I Was a Cub Scout with Pink Squares.
another half wheel to try and forget to try and correct
And yes, I know I'm wrong But there's two sides to every story Maybe we are not the same And we will never feel the same
I miss you more than anything Please come back with me tonight Oh, am I in trouble?
I'm sorry I don't hold a choice I miss you more than anything Please don't ever leave my side
You know I should've stayed and talked But oh, I got my shoes and I left the room Singing oh, oh, oh, what can I do?
And oh, there's nothing to fight
Please don't ever leave my side
That was I Was a Cub Scout with Pink Squares.
And I Was a Cub Scout are going to be playing at the Six Music Showcase at the South by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas, right?
In 2008.
That's this year!
I've been to Austin.
Have you?
Yeah, it's really nice.
That's a happening town, man.
Yeah, it's lovely.
I went to the Alamo Drafthouse.
Right.
You know where big old Harry Knowles, King of Internet Movie Nerds, lives?
Does he?
It's a cinema where you sit at kind of benches as if you're studying for an exam and you can eat food.
Why ain't it cool news?
He does do it.
Right, right.
Yeah.
And when did you go there to Austin, Texas?
I went there last year to Austin, Texas.
What were you doing there?
I was doing there.
No, I was with the Hot Fuzz guys.
Yeah, promoting Hot Fuzz.
They had a screening there.
What's Hot Fuzz?
Hot Fuzz is a kind of sensation you get when you rub yourself on the carpet.
I want to go to Austin, Texas.
It's cool.
Why can't we go there and do something for six music?
Let's do a live show from there.
Can't we?
Our show would be massively improved by sending us on holiday.
I haven't been to America for about 10 years really.
Yeah not since well yeah since 2001 man the last time I was there was changed was the day after 9-11.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
And apparently it's changed.
It's changed enormously.
Joe Cornish I heard saying that it's really changed.
Yeah, I heard him say that as well.
He's always right.
He's always right.
The whole studio, listeners, I'm sorry to tell you, smells a little bit revolting this morning because someone left the milk in the fridge too long or something.
It's gone off.
But I don't understand how just milk in a fridge can stink up the entire place to quite such a degree.
When I came in this morning,
It was like the aftermath of a particularly bad house party.
Do you know what I mean?
That's the worst smell in the world, isn't it?
It's like an airborne virus.
Stroke vomit.
Do you think it's actually contagious?
Yes.
I'll smell of off milk for the rest of the day.
Yes.
That's terrible.
whoever it's like living in a kind of student digs this place isn't it all the people lounging around listening to alternative music letting their milk go off it's a total nightmare it's a rock station that's the kind of behavior that's to be expected now we've got some music here that was chosen by you Joe
Yeah, I chose this one.
This is by the Fine Young Cannibals.
They're a band from the 80s.
If you're young, you might not remember them, but they were really good.
They had a lead singer called Roland Gift.
Is that right?
God's gift.
He was a very handsome man.
Very handsome.
What's he doing now?
I don't know.
Probably just being very happy.
Exactly.
Out of the public eye.
Either that or producing music.
no one pays attention to or maybe they do and we don't know because he's the man behind the scenes he's got like a moniker now exactly he's an amazingly famous producer giftmeister who knows but this is one of their best tracks i think this is the fine young cannibals with i'm not the man i used to be
Easy.
Why do I have faith?
Yeah.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
Introducing interesting new artists who are putting great music online.
We want you to suggest any really amazing stuff that you've found out there online.
Just let us know via the new introducing web page.
bbc.co.uk slash introducing.
Hopefully all the people have been crying out for us to play more adventurous music.
We'll be able to find something we like in every show.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
of new music fresh from the dead.
Saturday into Sunday from midnight.
New music.
Six music.
a menu and his money.
He didn't walk straight, kind of side to side.
He asked this old lady, yo, yo, is this kush tukki fried?
The lady said, yeah, smiled, and he smiled back.
He gave a quarter and his order, small fried Big Mac!
You be Ellen.
Yo, Ellen, what you tell that kid?
You be Ellen.
Ellen.
Ellen.
You won a ticket to the dock today Front row seat, no pay Radio in hand, snacks by feet Games about to start, you kickin' popcorn to the beat You finally wake up, dock's gone to town
You ill and at the party.
Drunk as a skunk, you ill and punk it.
In your lap, that rubber carton.
You went up to this fly girl and said, yo, yo, can I get this done?
She smelled your breath, and then she left you standing.
In your inner stance, you be ill and, ill and, ill and.
But your problem is, you be ill and, ill and, ill and.
You be ill and, ill and, ill and.
You be ill and ill and.
Unless it was salty with butter and it was death You proceeded to eat it cause you was in the mood But hopes you did not read it was a can of dog food You be Ellen Ellen Ellen You be Ellen Ellen You be Ellen Ellen You be Ellen You be Ellen
You be L.A.
You be L.A.
You be L.A.
Yeah, hip-hop's come on quite a way since then.
Has it?
Yeah, it's developed.
You proceeded to eat it because it was deaf.
I like that.
It's kind of like Duplo hip-hop, isn't it?
No, it's good enough, man.
You don't need anything more than that.
Who was in Run DMC?
That's Jam Master Jay.
Is he in there?
Probably.
J Master Jam.
I never really.
The Jam Jar.
Jam Jar.
He was one of the early champions of 50 Cent, wasn't he?
Was he?
I believe he was.
Yeah.
I think eventually Eminem and Dr. Dre got hold of 50 Cent and propelled him to superstar.
But Jam Master Jay or whatever his name was from Run DMC was one of the first people that encouraged young Curtis.
Well, there's a real 50 Cent, isn't there?
He's a real robber man.
Yeah, and 50 Cent, he doesn't get much respect if you kind of push people about him because people reckon he kind of stole the kind of life of the genuine 50 Cent.
Right.
And actually, he's quite well bought up.
nice fella curtis yeah curtis not really though i mean he's what i've been told he had a rough life speaking oh really i think he uh compared his but apparently he exaggerates it a bit man i saw uh mtv cribs last night oh and they were looking around 50 cents house i like to call him 50 pence
and 50 pence has an amazing house it's extraordinary and i think it must have been filmed fairly recently because he was talking about his lot was his last album called curtis i don't know that came out last year i think it was so it must have been filmed late last year early this year uh no couldn't have been earlier this year could it but anyway he lives in farmington connecticut in it can we get the specific date of the film right before
we move on.
Well I'm trying to establish how recent it was, you know what I mean?
And I think it was fairly recent.
Eighteen and a half million dollar mansion he's got there.
Used to belong to Mike Tyson.
And uh, although at the end he reveals that he's recently got himself another place in Long Island.
Oh my lord, so he can be closer to his son.
Anyway, this place he's got there in Farmington, Connecticut, it's amazing.
it's got he's got a helicopter joe wow it's got a red helicopter no lemons has got one of those it's not that amazing yeah but you expect noel to have one you know noel's been at the coal face for years and years and years but uh fitty he's only been a player for maybe five years or something okay i'll give you that and it's an extraordinary uh accumulation of uh of wealth and splendor that he's got there in farmington he's got
several cars Joe several several more than one like one he's got presumably for going to the shops one he's got for the school run but he's got several others that I can't even think of uses for and they're different colors one of them cost a million dollars
Wow.
Which is too much for a car, don't you reckon?
It's a waste of money.
It's a waste of money.
A car is a practical thing.
Exactly.
It'll only get scratched.
Exactly.
Someone will key it.
That's right.
Well, if they did, I would imagine there would be robot security guards in Farmington, Connecticut that would kill you.
But he's got basketball courts and tennis courts there.
He's got a pool room with Louis Vuitton upholstered walls, Joe.
Wow.
And on the pool table itself, instead of green bays, he's got Louis Vuitton bays.
Oh, that's classy.
It's the best way to play pool.
It's the only way that you would want to play pool.
He's got a club in this house, Joe, a nightclub, and he's got all the facilities you need for topless lady dancing.
Does the nightclub have people in it?
No.
It's just empty.
It's totally empty.
Is there any use?
Well, I'd have robot people.
You reckon?
Yeah, like replicants.
yeah not like just just you know robotic right so I could dance yeah that's a good idea then man maybe he's got them in a in a robot cupboard they're probably I got it who can tell me under the floor he's got giant revolving plasma TVs everywhere in his in his room at the end of his bed you know to mean yeah he maybe wants to shift position he's got a little control
the TV revolves around depending on where he is in the room he's going in the shower opposite the shower case you want to watch TV in the shower he says you know quite logical and then what else has he got there and they're not one of the nice things about his house is that he's got rooms for all his friends in G unit
So you go down there's a special little wing for Tony Yayo and there's one for Young Buck and there's a little wing for Lloyd Banks as well.
He's got his little room there at the end.
Obviously Fitties room is much more splendiferous than theirs and he's got like a staircase in his room and as far as I can tell they didn't have revolving tellies but they were still pretty nice.
But the whole place was a little bit like a kind of a hotel from a theme park.
Well you know sometimes in those things they just film them in a hotel.
You reckon?
In a theme park.
I think so yeah.
No because G-Unit and Fittie's name was painted everywhere and there were big murals.
They do that.
They do they do they do do that.
It's like a hello photo shoot you know where you just get a get a suite or hire a house to make it look like it's yours.
They do do that sometimes.
I know, I know, but they... 50 Cent lives in a little house in Dahoud.
He keeps it real.
A little crack shack.
Well, I was thinking, if it is his place, and I have every reason to believe that it really was, at the end he was saying, next time MTV Cribs, I'll stroll around my new house.
Is he talking like that?
No, he was saying, he's talking like this.
He's saying, cause you know, he got shot in the face and stuff.
Sure he did.
So he's like, his mouth's a little bit manky.
He's like a big pepper pot.
He is.
As I say, next time, MTV Cribs, you can come round my house.
In fact, that would just be a good novelty pepper pot.
Yeah.
50 cent with some holes.
Some bullet holes.
And maybe salt, not pepper, because you'd need to grind it.
You could have a Linda Blair pepper pot.
That's nice.
Rotate the head.
Absolutely.
It could dispense guacamole as well.
Sorry, keep talking.
There's all kinds of tasteless pepper pots you could have.
So yeah, we're promised a tour of his house in Long Island.
And I was thinking about, like, what
Could he possibly have that, you know what I mean?
I mean, we should listen to some music, but I've got some ideas for what Fitty could have in his new house that I'd like to tell you, listeners.
But for now, listeners, we've got hives.
And you're right
There you go, that's the hive.
They were just making that up as they went along, as far as I can tell.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
It is 10.30 and it's time for the news read by... No, it's not 10.30, it's 9.30, excuse me.
Time for the news read by Chris Wincrest.
on digital radio and online.
BBC Six Music.
Fears of dirty tactics by credit card firms.
Winehouse told she's welcome in America after all, and England's cricketers thrashed down under.
Six Music.
BBC News at 9.30.
I'm Chris Winpress.
There are claims that credit card companies might be penalizing customers for managing their accounts properly.
A senior MP, John McFall, thinks some firms are deliberately favoring people who can't manage their money so they can make bigger profits.
Are we witnessing a situation where credit card companies are taking cards away from perfectly safe customers and giving it to customers who are riskier?
If they are doing so, then their methods have to be called into question.
The US government's changed its mind and said that Amy Winehouse can have a visa to go to the Grammy Awards tomorrow night.
They had barred the singer from going to the States because she'd been caught with cannabis in Norway last year.
But Amy's agent says it's now too late for her to fly, so she'll still do her set for the awards via satellite link up.
There are growing calls for the Archbishop of Canterbury to resign after he caused a row about whether or not Britain should introduce some aspects of Islamic law.
Dr Rowan Williams says he's shocked at the outrage he's caused, adding that he wasn't trying to suggest that Sharia laws should run parallel to British ones.
Network Rail's blaming sat-navs for a rise in damage to its property.
They reckon the devices are sending lorries down roads with low bridges.
PJ Taylor from Network Rail says drivers need to be more careful.
So abs are a great tool, they're really fantastic, but they're just a tool.
They're not an alternative for keeping your wits about you and obeying the rules of the road.
If you're a fan of shows like Lost, 24 and Heroes there might be a glimmer of hope of new episodes being made soon.
Writers in Hollywood are said to be close to ending their long strike over pay.
It's hoped the writers will be back at work by Monday.
Sportnow and England's cricketers have lost their one-day international against New Zealand by six wickets.
England only managed to scrape together 130 runs.
And the weather should be a really nice day in England and Wales with plenty of sunshine.
Not so good in western Scotland and Northern Ireland with cloud and drizzle.
That's Six Music News, your next bulletins at 10.30.
Six Music News.
On the Music Week this week, we cross stateside to look forward to Sunday night's star-studded Grammy Awards.
And in this week's agenda, we ask, isn't it time folk music got the top billing it deserved?
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen, and Matt Everitt.
Tomorrow, from one.
Six Music.
BBC 6 music Adam and Joe
When we first met
And stop shouting.
How many times have I told you about shouting, Perry Farrell, with your Jane's Addiction?
You make me sick.
That was Jane's Addiction.
And, uh, with Just Because.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
Morning listeners.
This is a very, very nice morning.
Would you call it?
It's like the cusp of spring, isn't it?
don't you think a little bit of spring in the air it's certainly about to be spring i really hope so because i'm fed up of winter you always forget that winter doesn't really stop i always assume that winter stops around about you know new year but don't do it that's more or less the beginning of winter you get the whole of january it's a nightmare have we had any texts in about uh fitty's house i think someone texted in i was speculating before about what fitty would have in his new house that he sent i'm talking about
Because the place that he's got already that was on MTV Cribs last night was just amazing.
I was thinking, how much better could it get?
You know what I mean?
What would you have in your fantasy house?
Have you ever thought about that, Joe?
Not really, but I will now.
I'll have a think about it now.
I was thinking the fitty like with all this money because he's like number two most richest rapper right behind Jay-Z.
I don't know.
I think he is.
I think Forbes has rated him as because he's got loads of ongoing concerns apart from all the rapping he does right.
He's got all his special drinks.
for building muscle building.
He's got his range of condoms, I think.
He's got all like fingers and all kinds of pies, which is not a nice expression to use after mentioning condoms.
But still, you know what I'm talking about, listeners.
So I was thinking like, in Fittie's new house, right?
Seeing as he can have anything, I was thinking, a good thing to have would be a house inside the house.
like a little semi-detached house in the living room and a family would live there do you know what i mean like real a real family but they would be big fans of fitty and they'd play his music all the time and they'd be delighted to live there so it would be a nice two-way deal you know it'd be nice for 50 to uh enjoy their adoration and and of course it would be fun for the family to live in the
living room of their hero so that's a nice idea also you could have obviously this is an obvious one rooms with money wallpaper that would be great wouldn't it so actually paper the wall the walls with money with real money and then the furniture would be made out of big blocks of money
it's a bit tacky well i didn't think that would be a problem no probably it probably isn't i thought he would like it do you know what i mean because it's not only is it you could make him you can make them comfortable you know but there would be solid money it wouldn't be like a wooden framework with money put pasted on top that would be cheating it would be solid money he would his bed sheets would be made from the turin shroud i was thinking oh because that's a little tasteless
and possibly offensive to a lot of people.
It's not very big.
No, but maybe not the... Well, you know, he's got air conditioning.
You know what, there are several shrouds.
He'd stitch them together.
He'd stitch them together.
If you sort of patchwork quilt... What about the Baotapestry?
How about that?
with the turin shroud like holy relics of the turin shroud exactly uh he could have um yeah any kind of holy relic all stitched together and it wouldn't just be the shroud itself it would be part of a duvet he'd need a very very gentle powder to wash that with exactly do it at 30 it's good for the environment and for the relic you wouldn't want it maybe just 20 i would say i wouldn't go as high as 30 for the turin shroud
And he would, in his house also, he'd have a lot of gold things, because that's what rich people like.
Gold water, he would have golden water.
Delicious golden water.
Sounds a bit disgusting.
Well, only little bits of gold.
Do you remember we had that drink before one time?
Sure.
Someone sent us some booze with gold in it.
Gold is not bad for you if taken in small doses.
He would have gold plated fruit.
Delicious.
He'd also have a machine that when you go to the loo, right, and for number twos, it would gold plate your pops as they fell out into the bowl.
Why?
Wouldn't that be great?
What do you mean why?
So you could keep them.
and you could store them maybe you keep them maybe you just flush them down because that's you don't care so what gold pops I don't care flush them but it would just be nice to nice treat for the sewage workers well exactly with little fishing nets exactly they could unwrap them anyway I was listening I was thinking when they wouldn't unwrap them they just they just take the gold
That's what I'm saying.
You know, I thought you meant they were discarding the gold.
That would be insane.
Why would you do that?
Well, because they're big fans of 50 Cent.
Exactly.
You could put it on eBay.
So it works both ways now that you mention it like that.
Anyway, I was thinking if anyone had any other ideas for what fit he could have in his house or indeed what you would have in your house.
Listen, as if like your favorite house, if you had all the money in the world out of your many houses, what kind of things would you have in there?
I'd be interested to know.
Now, are we going to play Pete and the Pirates now?
This is another band that apparently played at South by Southwest in Austin, Texas last year for six music.
And this track is called Mr. Understanding.
You can hurt falling out of the taxi cab If you really want some understanding You and Lana can be quite frustrating If you really want to understand it
You and me trying hard to remember How we ever started out with our sights so high Looking down seeing your yellow fingers and if you don't
So let's recap.
That's Pete and the Pirates with Mr Understanding.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 music.
I was bad this week, Adam.
Oh, what did you do?
I went to see, this isn't a bad thing, I went to see No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers film.
Yeah, did you enjoy it?
I did enjoy it, but it was being ruined for me by four people.
The actors no no in I saw it.
It's a very quiet film.
That's right It's got an amazing soundtrack in it very little um Music it's true.
It's not good for eating.
I had my bag of no rebels, and I didn't get finished I think listeners this might be a common problem in this particular film Yeah, that it really sort of highlights the annoyingness of munching and cinema behavior, which winds me up anyway It's true
But it's such a sort of studied film, beautiful vistas, amazing natural sounds.
And one of those films where because there's no sound you get really absorbed in it.
You're paying much more attention.
And some young people, some thick young people from the suburbs, I don't want to insult people from the suburbs unless they're these particular people I'm thinking of.
I do want to insult them.
They're used to films with loud noises, monsters squashing people, people screaming, you know, pop hits every four minutes.
People teleporting everywhere.
The tiniest sound, sounding like a nuclear explosion.
Right.
So they're used to just being able to chit-chit-chittle-jaddle all the time with no consequence, you know, and no consideration of anybody else.
And that's what these people started doing.
Oh.
That was the noise constantly in my left ear.
How far into the film are we at this point?
The very beginning.
No.
Yeah, like the first ten minutes.
Big thing of popcorn.
So your heart is sinking.
I'm just going I'm really I really want to enjoy this film I've saved it up I waited until the cinemas were a bit empty until because everyone was seeing that for the first couple of weeks it was full of you know people who'd had dinner parties and chatty chatting and so I waited till it was empty.
Was it an option to move to a different part of the cinema?
No because it was not a very big cinema and it's a wide
screen presentation yeah 2.35 to 1 or whatever it is you got to sit near the back my favorite aspect ratio i love that aspect ratio uh and then in there were those people making a terrible racket and then in front of them uh there was a woman who i think was doing origami
uh with some kind of rice paper either that or she was uh she she had one of those work from home jobs where you insert boxes into other boxes right and then rattle things she was making extraordinary noises probably that grease proof paper on a sandwich maybe or something like that but it was really annoying me and i think everyone else in the cinema
Uh, so you know what I did?
Well, it's got to be turn around and do a bit of shushing.
I tried, A, I tried tactic number one, staring.
Right.
And I'm sure other people have done this.
What you do is you just do a really, really strong lean forward.
Yeah.
Rotate your whole head so that your face catches the light and just glare in a Paddington Bear style and hope that, you know, they catch you out of your, out of their peripheral vision.
What if they're scary?
Would you do that if it was scary?
The staff will back me up.
The little ladies.
I'm amazed that you would go for a face off before you go for a shush.
I was really annoyed.
I was really annoyed.
This didn't work.
It didn't work at all.
So I stood up and I went over to them and I leant right into them.
And you know that thing where you kind of build up a visual image of them in your brain in the half light of what they're like?
I thought he was like a big beefy idiot man with a tattoo on his head and she was an awful slapper and they were stupid.
When I leant into them, the first thing I noticed was they were quite nice.
They seemed like quite a nice lovey-dovey couple having a nice evening at the cinema.
The next thing that happened was I tried to say to them, excuse me, can you please keep your voice down?
You're spoiling the film.
As soon as I talked, something loud happened in the film.
So I just went... And they looked at me really confused.
Why is this man violating our personal space?
Why is he talking at us?
And so I just went...
Like that international language of mine.
Lifted the finger, told them to shush.
They just looked really freaked out.
They looked really frightened and terrified.
Yeah but did you get any results?
Oh yes.
It worked.
They were so scared by this weird man leaning his stupid long face right into their Saturday night.
They didn't make another noise and I really enjoyed the film.
Good job.
I don't know whether anyone else has any more effective tactics for shutting people up.
But when you sat down, did you feel a little traumatised by the encounter?
Did that ruin a few minutes of the film for you?
I did think that something might go down on the way out.
Right.
I tried to put it to the back of my mind, but as the film was coming to an end...
I did start thinking, how am I going to exit?
But no, it was fine.
I think they were so frightened.
Good job.
Warning listeners, do not try this technique in any of the rougher cinemas in London's outer regions.
Or you'll get a knife in the julies, possibly, depending on the chain.
It's a good film though.
It's great, isn't it?
It's pretty good.
It wouldn't be as good as it is without that weapon.
yeah the weapons amazing iconic remember me talking about it before yeah he's in weapons that pretty much that the weapon and the hair yeah yeah exactly much most of the deal genius it's like a horror film it's like halloween i didn't realize no he's a super villain he's like up there with the aliens you are a super villain you're well done amongst all the villains you're the best you're super well done for killing all those people
Especially the one in the shower where you just closed the curtain and the blood went splat.
I loved it.
It's always nice.
You're super.
Always nice.
Now here's a choice for you listeners that I've picked for you.
This is the first of three epic tracks I've chosen for you for the show this week.
I hope you enjoy them so they're a little longer than normal but it's my contention that these epic tracks do not outstay their welcome.
This is one from Supergrass's eponymous album Supergrass.
Maybe not one of their best albums.
Kind of the one, was this their third or fourth maybe?
Anyway, it's got a few good tracks on it and this is really one of Supergrass's best out of any of their albums for my money.
It's called Far Away.
Yesterday seems far away and I can't see it through I don't believe that you held me with nothing on your cheek Operating slowly as the air is growing thin
Wake me up each morning, don't forget to plug me in We're missing me when we aren't as happy as a rule Wait until your ship comes in and pass you as you please
Let your head shine lightly down on you Their influence is unrelated to your present need I can see you're unreal although your heart is true So come in cause your thought is up Your time is overdue
Six Music.
Sunday Afternoons on Six.
We're going to take this, make this show, one stop shop for all your cultural and political and news needs.
They're hearing the new music, but they need to hear the big tunes they need to know about.
What is their opinion on the EU?
I haven't got one.
I don't understand what's going on.
But what you're saying is we can come up with some sort of random trumped up view which people can take down the pub and argue about with their friends.
What I was hoping is that it's actually an informed and educated view.
I suspect it will be trumped up due to the laziness of the production team involved with the show.
If we can do this, no other media need exist.
This is what I'm thinking!
I passed you in the doorway.
Well, you took me with a glance.
I should have took that last kiss home, but I asked you for a dance.
Now we go steady to the pictures.
I always get chocolate stains on my pants.
And my father, he's going crazy.
He says I'm living in a trance, but I'm dancing in the moonlight.
It can be the spotlight.
It's alright.
Dance in the moonlight.
On this long hot summer night.
Now I won't get out until Sunday I'll have to say I stayed with friends Oh, but it's a habit worth forming If it means to justify the ends Dancing in the moonlight It's got me in a spotlight It's alright, alright Dancing in the moonlight On this long hot summer night
It's got me in it's spotlight Dancing in the moonlight
Wow, that was a session track, listeners, from the John Peel Sessions 1979 Thin Lizzy with one of their songs.
What's it, guys?
Go on.
Dancing in the Moonlight.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
Is this the greatest radio show in the world?
What?
Yeah.
You know there was in the Guardian newspaper yesterday it said at the top in big letters, is this the greatest day for new films ever?
I like it when newspapers structure a, you know, a story like that.
Yeah.
Because you can say anything.
Stick a question mark at the end and it validates the most preposterous sentences.
Is Joe Cornish the sexiest, cleverest man currently alive?
yeah to which of course the answer would be would be no you know i'm near the top i'm in the top five oh okay but it would be you know um arrogant to say i was number one a little bit arrogant but still i've said the words yeah exactly i've said the sentence but you've posed the question yeah it's like that brilliant scene in a not particularly brilliant film how to get ahead in advertising where he points out the use of the word may
in in newspapers as well you know they they rely on that word very heavily to justify amazing statements yeah exactly yeah we don't even bother with that when we talk about text the nation we don't equivocate we tell people it's the nation's favorite feature is text the nation the greatest feature in the world
Is it?
Yes.
Is it?
Yes.
No.
Yes it is.
No.
Yes.
No.
We're going to be launching Text-A-Nation very shortly, listeners, even though... Have we decided exactly what it's going to be?
No.
The thing is we've got too many subjects today.
So we've got various things you can text in on.
We've got 50 Cent's house.
Yeah.
Ways for dealing with noisy people in cinemas.
But one of these subjects will be kind of unfairly flagged
with the text the nation jingle.
Yeah, exactly.
Nice bit of unfair flagging.
Hey, if you got, you know, for online banking, do you do online banking?
You're talking to me or the listener?
You Joe Cornish?
No, you don't do any online banking.
No, I don't trust it.
Oh, well, you see what they give you, though, if you're doing a little bit of online banking, is you get like a little security keypad they send you through.
This is with Barclays at least, I don't know about other banks.
But you get a thing that looks like a little mini calculator with a slot for your credit card at the top, or your debit card.
And each time you log on to check out your online banking details, you have to pop the credit card in there, and it asks you to- That wasn't sent to you by Barclays.
No!
That was sent to you by Lambek Shibot.
Whose dad died in a Nigerian gold mining accident, and he's raising funds.
He's taking all your money.
Probably.
Spending it on tatoes.
Why does he want taters?
Because he's a Latvanian potato farmer.
Anyway, I was just wondering if other people had this or whether it was indeed a scam from, what was his name?
Lembit potato.
I don't know, I can't remember.
Lembit.
that was his name um you know because it's it seems complicated but obviously you have to go through these procedures to keep it all secure and everything you know you put your card in there it asks you to very first of all you have to put your pin in then it generates a kind of random number that you put your pin in
You're pinning.
You're pinning.
Yeah.
And it generates a number.
You have to key the number into your online details and everything.
It takes ages.
I was trying to think of it.
Here's another thing that you could text in for listeners is what extra security measures could you have?
right we're gonna overload the listeners that's but that's three things now well they don't have to text in about any of this i'm just speculating confuse them doesn't matter they won't get confused what would you have what extra security stuff did you have in 50 cents house no what come on in what for banks yeah
I would have a photocopy of the arse.
That's a good idea, you see.
You scan your arse.
No two are the same.
Very nice.
They could even send out special chairs that have the scanner as part of the seat of the chair.
the security chair.
I would just download a woman.
You know, like Kelly Brock.
I thought you were going to say Wookie in... Download a Wookie.
Download a Wookie?
Yeah, little Wookies.
Like Kelly Brock.
Like Gremlins sent to you in little baskets.
I don't know, what use would they be?
uh what the wookies yeah what would they do i don't know you're the one who i thought of the idea i was thinking you could just have well i was thinking you just have a person you know you get an online banking thing and they send you a purse what about this yeah in the high street there's like a room uh with a counter and a woman or a man behind it how about that what you go there and you say hello they say hello and they help you and you smile and chat
and it's nice and it's the same person every time or one of a couple of people that you know yeah hey what about that what's wrong with that yeah yeah here's the thing you could go in there and you could get a gun right and if you wanted loads of money you could just hold the place up get out of the bbc all right leave the bbc okay i will do uh is it time for the top of our sweeper i love the top of our sweeper
BBC six music
This is
We sail from sands broad or higher We sail from where we once began Where we wait, where we wait The hold of records or numbers or spaces still undone Ruins or relics, disciples and the young The hold of records or numbers or spaces still undone Ruins or relics, disciples and the young
I touch my hands when you're turning on the steps of the night
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
It's the nation's favorite feature.
Could it be the nation's favorite feature?
Is that how I'm supposed to say it?
Could this feature, simply by listening to it, make you stronger and live 98 years longer than normals?
Oh.
Could this feature, simply by interacting with it,
turn you into a muscle man could this feature i can't do a third one no i'm having to stop right could could this feature make you more potent
Yes.
Well, that's a good reason for having it then, isn't it?
Yeah.
So, this is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
It's time for Text the Nation, the time of the show when we give you a sort of a question type thing or a topic of conversation.
A topic.
A topic.
Why have you suddenly got so excited about me saying the word topic?
Are they your favourite choccy choccy?
Yeah, they've got a hazelnut in every bite there.
You know what?
My mum loves topics.
Does she?
They're so small, but they're powerful.
They're like a dumb dumb bullet.
Are they smaller than the average bar?
They are smaller than the average bar.
No.
Let's not get sidetracked on choccy bar sizes though.
Love a choccy bar right now.
Topics are lovely.
They've got nougat and peanuts and the two flavours really offset each other one another.
They've got more peanuts than any other bar.
What's got the hazelnut in every bite?
Topic.
Smooth milk chocolate for your delight.
Topic.
And don't forget the hazelnut in every bite.
Topic.
Anyway, so listen, that's not the point though, I got the lyrics wrong.
There's other bars obviously.
Are there?
Yeah.
Called Topic?
No, none of there's called Topic.
Here's the Text the Nation subject, and obviously there's a couple more subjects floating around, but we'd like you for the moment to focus on this one, and this one is Games.
not mind games but games you play for instance if you go and have a meal with some friends often after the meal a friend will propose that you play a game the time in your life i would say that you play most of these is would you would you reckon your 20s before people start having children and stuff
Very popular in your 20s, very popular for younger people and we're not necessarily talking about sordid drinking games.
Yeah.
We're talking about ways for a group of people to have fun.
We're not talking about board games.
No.
We're talking about games that you've learnt off other people or games that you've made up.
This is like in the weird years just after you've got bored of drinking yourself senseless and just trawling around all night trying to snog people.
There's something to do while you do that.
A little bit.
But it's when you start going around to other people's houses, isn't it, and having a bit of supps and then afterwards, instead of watching TV or whatever, you'll sit around and someone will say, let's play the hat game.
Now this can be really boring.
Some people hate games like this.
They find them an anathema.
Is that a word?
Yeah.
other people like them but whether you like them or hate them we all find ourselves being caught up in them every now and then.
Yeah and you always look it's always a bad idea to resist them too much because then it becomes a big deal.
You just look like a sourpuss.
Exactly.
Everyone rounds on you.
Yeah.
The hat game is a game where everyone writes the name of a famous person on a piece of on lots of pieces of paper you fold them up put them in a hat you have to pass it around pick it out and what do you do do you do you mime that no you describe the person without saying their name.
Yeah.
This can be embarrassing because you don't know who they are sometimes.
And then you can do it three times.
You can do it once with using just one word.
That's the three rounded hacking.
And then the third time you just do it with a mime.
Exactly.
Other types of games are kind of less civilized than that.
Like we invented a game when we were very stupid called Sumo.
Sumo, you mentioned this before.
I don't think I played it with Adam, but some friends of mine, what we used to do is get quite overexcited on various inebriants, wrap ourselves in duvets, go to this local park.
Someone would shout, Sumo is go!
this is pathetic obviously and then we'd run at each other in these big duvets and try and push each other over you see it was wicked was it wicked yeah this must have been when i got a girlfriend this is before kids killed each other for fun you know when the world was innocent that's right
So that's another good after dinner game.
We used to like have something to eat and then go and play some sumo.
But what we want to know from you listeners are really, really good games.
The games that you've either made up and find really rewarding or that you find, you know, satisfying and not annoying.
And it would also be interesting to know some of your least favourite games as well.
Yes.
The ones that drive you mad.
The ones that make your heart sink like my wife gets very upset whenever the notion of the book game is mooted.
Well the book game is a posh game that people at universities play where you have to, what is it?
Write the opening
Yeah, you grab a book at random out of a shelf.
It's a good game.
You grab a book at random out of a shelf and you have to say, okay, everyone, you've got to write down what you think the first sentence of this book is.
That's right.
You've got to guess what the first sentence is.
You've got to try and ape the literary style.
And then somebody reads out all the made up first lines and the real first line and you don't know which is what.
Exactly.
It's a good game.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
a good first line.
But it's a real challenge.
Some people really hate it.
I used to win it all the time.
Did you?
Because you're so good at writing.
I'm so clever.
So clever.
Because you could have written most of those books yourself.
I could, I just couldn't be bothered.
You just couldn't be bothered.
I couldn't be bothered.
So folks, we want to hear your ideas for your favourite games and some of your worst games as well.
Yeah, the text number.
What's the text number, Jude?
Because my computer's just gone...
6 4 what?
6 4 0 4 6.
6 4 0 4 6.
That's it.
And the email if you want to write a slightly longer text you know you might want to detail some rules of the game because I'd like to try playing some of these you know.
Absolutely.
I'd like to add them to my arsenal.
Yeah.
Is that private?
You can email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Go on, give it a try.
It won't hurt, it might be fun.
I'm thinking about your arsenal.
Now, Joe's picked out this next song for you listeners.
Have I?
Yeah, this is Wood Cat, isn't it?
Oh yeah, this is by Tung.
This is, you know, folky fun.
Here it is, Thumb Folk Fun.
Wood cattle once a girl but not since the incident Live in the darkness making friends with the animals Eyes burning yellow I miss your sweet kisses I miss having coffee in bed watching TV The ghost of an image
It's just fleeting glimpses You're there then you're gone Through the roots and the nettles I miss your hard edges I miss your bone marrow I miss having coffee and bed watching TV And we all had a lovely time We all had a lovely time
We all had a lovely time Yeah, we all had a lovely time
I'll look for a man to turn me into a hell Just like they did when you did what you did And the court came around and the verdict flew out And the rats ran about and the change trickled down They left your brown body, gentle and shivery Back in a clearing with a deer in the evening And I'll come and find you, a small sleep in the sand And we'll have life
All in for a lovely time All in for a lovely time
I look for a man to turn me into a hare Just like they did when you did what you did I look for a man to turn me into a hare Just like they did when you did what you did
Some close up to me, fire in an open hearth.
Braised in a vessel of arrowly action.
Some satisfaction, some sweet satisfaction.
All of this and everything spun around the mill.
And they said it was a lovely time.
They said it was a lovely time.
They said it was a lovely time.
Yeah, they said it was a lovely time And we all had a lovely time We all had a lovely time We all had a lovely time Yeah, we all had
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
Introducing interesting new artists who are putting great music online.
We want you to suggest any really amazing stuff that you've found out there online.
Just let us know via the new Introducing web page.
Hopefully all the people have been crying out for us to play more adventurous music.
We'll be able to find something we like in every show.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
Two hours of new music, fresh from the dead.
Saturday into Sunday from midnight.
New music.
Six Music.
Adam and Joe on Six Music.
I could be the sergeant in a squadron from the world as what a waste.
What a waste.
What a waste.
What a waste.
Because I tried to play the fool in a six piece bed.
First night nerves everywhere.
I could be a lawyer with stratagems and bruises I could be a doctor, I would see some bruises I could be a writer with a growing reputation I could be the ticket man and full of more weight station What a waste What a waste What a waste What a waste Because I'm trying to play the fool in a six-piece band And the first time I've seen
Goodbye.
I could be the catalyst that sparks the revolution I could be an inmate in a long-term institution I could be into world extremes, I could do or die I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch them make out like fire What a waste What a waste What a waste What a waste Just to blow the door in a six-piece van A first-line girl, give me one nice stand
Ian Drury and the blockheads with what a waste to Zellerman Joe on BBC6 music.
Our producer, the lovely Jude Adam.
Very talented lady, if you ever need any producing.
She's expensive, but she's really good.
She was saying that Phil Jupiter stands in for Ian Drury now in their live shows.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, they did a sort of gala tour a while back where various guests stood in for the late great Ian Dury, including people like Robbie Williams and stuff.
And apparently the dupe was the best.
He was the best.
And Mark Lamar, I think, was one of them as well.
Really?
All sorts of people.
Yeah.
Very strange.
Very strange.
So, listen, listeners and Adam, you're fans of the Beatles.
Who?
The Beatles.
Are they like the Arctic Monkeys?
Yeah.
I love them.
But younger.
Yeah, I like them.
They've given their music to a new film that's coming out on DVD, I think, on Monday.
It's called Across the Universe.
Have you heard of this thing?
Yes.
It's directed by a woman called Julie Taymor.
She directed The Lion King.
She's a very famous and brilliant theatre director.
And she's made this film which uses a lot of the Beatles music.
It's a kind of a narrative musical kind of thing.
But it's very controversial.
Why?
Some people say that it's it's a wickedy sticks.
Other people say that it's a big old pile of old steel drums.
Yeah.
It's really dividing people.
Some people reckon, you know, literally it's a life-changing, miraculous experience.
Who reckons that?
Some guy on the internet.
Drunkies.
Drunkies, no.
So I watched some of it last night.
I had to go to bed early, I didn't make it through the whole thing.
But I thought it was, you know, pretty good.
It's not enormously successful, but let me give you a little illustration of the kind of mental problems you might have while watching this film.
Across the universe any famous people in the film not really know which is a good I don't mind that I prefer my films with with strangers because then I believe them I don't know man.
I love famous people you do well.
They're so clever and yeah Good-looking, so what the film does it is it creates a story?
And then the story happens to hit sort of plot points that match with Beatles songs plot points plot points yeah
Yeah.
That match with Beatles songs.
Do you get the idea?
I do.
It's a bit like Mamma Mia or one of those West End musicals where they construct a story out of existing songs.
Well there were a lot of narratives in Beatles songs of course so at one point they bump into Eleanor Rigby.
That's right.
Do they?
Well I didn't get to that bit.
Oh okay.
But the lead guy in this film is called Jude.
Yeah.
So there you go, Jude Adam.
Yeah.
So there's a scene where he's met his dad, his estranged father, who he's never met before.
He's just suddenly turned off on this campus where his estranged dad works.
The kid's from Liverpool.
The dad is American.
The dad goes, listen, kid, the kid goes, it's Jude, you know?
And then the dad goes, well, Jude,
So the problem is, lines of dialogue keep sounding like Beatles songs that never were.
Well, Jude.
You know, it's weird like that.
Whenever anybody says Jude in it, you think they're going to start singing a song.
The mum at one point says, more stuffing, Jude.
Would that be a good Beatles song?
Uh huh.
Would it?
More Stuffing Jude.
That would be one of Ringo's ones.
And then they try and shoehorn the names of other songs into scenes.
So there's a scene where this kid before the dad bit.
He's working at a mine.
He collects his paycheck and is leaving the mine.
He's handing in his notice.
The guy behind the desk says, oh, you're handing in your notice, are you?
I felt the same at your age.
I told myself, when I'm 64, I'll be long gone from this place.
you're thinking that's not how it goes isn't it no what no that's when i'll be long gone from this place is not a line no but when i'm 64 yes it is that's the point exactly is the bit that there that you're supposed to go right and think oh that's clever
But then do they, I don't understand, do they break into song?
How do the songs get woven?
They do break into song.
Yeah, they just suddenly break into song.
Pretty cleverly.
It's cleverly done.
It's one of those good combinations of, you know, kind of heroic experimentation and a bit of success and a bit of failure.
But it's a
weird technique because just random lines that I'm not very good at the Beatles I don't know a lot of the names of the Beatles songs so I kept thinking that lines of dialogue were maybe songs.
Oh I see.
Like is there a is there a song called I've ironed your best shirts?
No.
Is that a Beatles song?
Not that I'm aware of.
unless it's a really obscure one.
And then I started to think of how you could do this with, you know, with other song titles.
Yeah.
Like you could have a scene with, not with Beatles songs, but you know, with general pop songs in general, you could have a scene where policemen are discussing a case.
A policeman says to the other policeman, yeah, she's five foot four, Caucasian, European, female, you know, then they start singing The Stranglers.
The Stranglers.
Yeah.
Is that a good idea?
That's a very good idea.
Thank you.
Hmm, I mean you could go to town couldn't you I mean you've got the whole all the narratives contained in the amazing universe of pop Yeah, that's the backbone of many an episode of a really very bad TV show surely It's worth seeing if you're into music and it's called what it's called across the universe
I'm not saying it's good, but it's a thing to see.
It certainly is.
It's moving and you can see it.
I didn't say it was moving.
Oh, the people move.
Yeah.
There's movement in it.
Yeah.
It's not like a still.
No, that's all I meant.
Which is always more fun, isn't it?
Yeah.
Boy, that sounds amazing.
Now, speaking of great music, here's a new exciting young band on the scene.
And they're all young ladies.
Is that right, all of them?
Or is there some just, some of them are young ladies and, you know, it's like a scene.
And they're called Ting Tings.
Crazy.
And this is called Great DJ.
With your indigestion Swallow words one by one Folks got high at a quarter to five Don't you feel you're growing up undone?
Nothing but gullible DJ Said he had some songs to play What went down from this bullet around Gave hope and hope
Imagine all the girls And the boys And the strings And the drums And the drums
All about where and when
There you go, that's Ting Tings with great DJs, great DJ.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music, time now for the news, read by Chris and Andre.
On digital radio and online, BBC 6 Music.
Credit card firms accused of foul play, the smoking bans blamed for litter problems and calls for rislers to carry health warnings.
And in 6 Music news, Amy gets her visa but runs out of time and Richard Hawley takes enemy to Manchester.
6 Music.
BBC News at 10.30, I'm Chris Winpress.
There's suspicion that some credit card firms are freezing the accounts of good customers because they'd rather lend money to riskier people.
A senior MP, John McFall, says he's worried that people who pay off their balance each month are losing out because they don't make the companies as much profit.
But Gemma Smith, who's from the trade association which represents credit card firms, says they're not running a charity.
A credit card company is a business and as a business that needs to make a profit deciding whether it wants to give you and I a card and at any time it may decide to take that business away.
Two more people have been arrested by police investigating the murder of a man in Belfast.
John Mungen was attached with macheches and hatchets by a gang who burst into his home on Thursday.
There are claims that the new smoking ban in England's caused a big rise in the number of cigarette butts being thrown on the streets.
Keep Britain Tidy reckons it's gone up by 40% because everyone's now smoking outside.
The Archbishop of Canterbury has defended himself after being slammed for saying Britain could one day adopt some parts of Islamic law.
Dr Rowan Williams claims he wasn't suggesting that Sharia laws should run alongside existing British ones.
Hundreds of mourners have attended a service in Australia for the Hollywood actor Heath Ledger, who died last month from a drugs overdose.
Before the service, the actor's dad, Kim Ledger, thanked everyone who'd supported the family since his son's accidental death.
We do really appreciate the outpouring and the emotional support from all over the globe, which
I'm surprised to say we're luckier than most families that are in our position, in our grieving position don't receive that kind of support.
Meetings are taking place this weekend in New York and Los Angeles, which it's hoped will bring an end to the long running strike by Hollywood scriptwriters.
They've been off work for three months now because of a dispute about pay.
It's hoped they could end their action by Monday.
Mental health campaigners say Rizla papers should carry warnings about the dangers of cannabis.
The drug's been linked to conditions like schizophrenia, but the company that makes Rizla says it doesn't endorse the use of illegal drugs.
Now with Six Music News, here's Andre Payne.
Well, after first being turned down by US authorities, Amy Winehouse has now been granted a visa to go to the Grammys tomorrow, but her spokesman said it's come through too late and Amy won't be able to make it.
He said Amy's sad she won't be there, but she will perform via satellite link up.
And Richard Hawley says he's glad the NME have started putting on their annual award shows outside of London.
6music's Elizabeth Orca was at last night's gig.
Last night, Richard Hawley played to a packed Manchester Academy at the second gig in a series of enemy award shows in the city.
The setlist consisted mainly of tracks from his latest album, Lady's Bridge, along with a few covers and special solo performances.
Hawley's rendition of Ricky Nelson's Lonesome Town, which featured Mancunian mouth organist Clive Mellor, was a highlight, as was a well-received romp through Hawley's popular upbeat skiffle number Sirius.
And finally, the Thirst played the new Brixton Club night launched in the 30th anniversary year of Rock Against Racism.
But Rebels, Roots and Rockers didn't feature the rumoured appearance by Pete Doherty.
His mates Mensa and Kwame from the Thirst told us they didn't start the speculation.
We didn't know about this until we read it in the paper yesterday.
We were just like, okay, didn't even really know what was going on in it.
We phoned Pete.
We said he'd be up for it, but you never know with that guy.
About six minutes using X Bulletin is at 11.30.
On the Music Week this week, we cross stateside to look forward to Sunday night's star-studded Grammy Awards.
And in this week's agenda, we ask, isn't it time folk music got the top billing it deserved?
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett.
Tomorrow, from one.
Electric air, the lights are blinking I'm thinking it's all over when I go out drinking Oh, making my mind slow That's what I do with the big boy Oh, bro, I got to maintain Cause a like me is going insane
You're like me, it's goin' insane!
Like Louie I'm strong, plague the trumpet I'll hit that bong and break you off something soon I got to get my props, cops come and try to snatch my crops These pigs wanna blow my house down
Like me, it's goin' insane
Text the nation!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Text the nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
So is he insane in the membrane or in the brain?
Which is it?
Is he insane in both the membrane and the brain?
Well, the brain has membrane, doesn't it?
So they're one in the same things.
I would say membrane is a subsection of the brain.
Therefore, he's just going deeper into the subject.
So he's saying in a broad context, I'm insane in the brain, but looking deeply within the brain, I'm also insane in the membranes of that brain on a macro level on a macro level.
So he's not talking about
just a mucous membrane in his mouth.
Maybe he is.
Right.
Maybe he's just got a mad snot.
Tough demeanour like a nutty.
Maybe he's one of those awful, awful people that does big spits on the pavement.
Giant oysters.
Someone spat on my car window the other day.
was revolting.
On your car window.
Yeah.
Not while you were in the car.
I sat in the car looked to my right expecting to see a beautiful street scene was like a huge translucent squid had attached itself to my face.
You were in the car.
No not while I was in the car it was just there.
Oh I see.
I didn't see them do it.
That would have been.
If I could find that
person I'd bend them over my knee and give them a good spanking.
Good Rogering.
Steady on Adam Buxton.
Sorry.
I would certainly not do that.
That's always what I think.
Revolting.
Sorry that is revolting.
Get out of the BBC.
Apologies.
Now it's text the nation time of course it's the nation's favourite feature.
Yeah this week we're asking you to send in your either invented or reliable after Dindin's games.
Yeah, and I'm excited about this because this is the kind of text the nation that we can actually educate people with.
This is a practical thing.
We can apply this knowledge.
Yeah, you and I are pro games anyway.
We love a good game, you know?
Yeah.
Are you going to be in a situation this weekend where you might be able to play some games?
No.
No, I might be.
Might you?
Yeah, I'm having a little sociable weekend.
Well, you can employ one of these then.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Go on then.
All right.
Hello, chaps.
This is from Neil in Cheltenham.
We used to play the rope game.
On the way home from pubs, when we were really too young to get into the pubs, we'd stand on opposite sides of the road, playing tug-of-wars with an imaginary piece of rope, and see if we could stop cars in their tracks.
As they would slow down and go past, we'd make out that we were being dragged behind.
Oh, those halcyon days.
That's a good game.
Is that a game?
It's kind of a game, isn't it?
It doesn't have a winner or a loser.
It might be dangerous.
If you play it too convincingly, it's dangerous, isn't it?
Yeah, I suppose so.
Someone could slow down, someone could pile right into the back of the car that slowed down.
Yeah, that could be dangerous but it still sounds like quite fun.
Carnage, carnage.
Okay, here's one from Claire in London.
Best game, box factor.
Take one empty cereal box, stand it on the floor.
Take turns to pick it up with your mouth.
Your knees and hands can't touch the floor.
When all is done,
So you just make the box smaller and smaller and you can only pick it up with your teeth, is that right?
Wasn't, isn't there a variation on that where you are allowed to use your, uh, elbows or something or your knees?
No, I'm insane.
Here's one that I shouldn't read out.
There's the one where you pass the orange and you have to do it just with your chin.
You know what I mean?
You clamped the orange between your chin and your chest.
That's for children though, isn't it?
It's fun if you're a grown-up person as well, because you get a little bit of titillating, you know, contact there.
Oh, I see.
It's nice.
Yeah.
It's like past the ice cube, but not quite so intimate.
Right.
You know.
Okay.
What have you got there?
Uh, a text.
Cool one, though.
Dear Adam and Joe, here's one that I don't think we should encourage.
Take a cigarette paper,
Stick it to your nose, set light to it, then blow it out.
Pass it on to the next person in the group.
This is a game of skill and daring.
Who will manage to light the smallest bit of cigarette paper without burning their eyebrows off?
Well, that's dangerous.
We should not encourage that.
That's Dangerous Plus.
Didn't you hear in the news?
They're going to have warnings on their cigarette papers now.
It's true, probably because of that game.
Exactly.
Here's another one.
This is from Sarah in Godalming.
After a sufficient amount of drinking, we used to recreate the gladiator wall game along a hallway or narrow path and use household appliances such as a hoover, ironing board, chair or large bin to use to block the person from getting through the wall of people.
So what is that game?
I think they're bringing Gladiator back so we'll be reminded, but I think it's sort of lots of people in a row and you have to try and run through them.
Oh!
You mean that TV show?
I was thinking there was a scene in the film.
The Ridley Scott film.
No, that would involve going to a zoo and jumping into the tiger enclosure with a dustbin lid.
A very bad idea.
None of the games they play in the Ridley Scott film seem that much fun for After Dinner.
No.
We've had lots more in, but I haven't printed them out yet.
So we'll get to them in a second, but keep them coming in please.
We appreciate all your texts and emails as ever.
And now it's time for this new Nick Cave song with the bad seeds.
This is a good one.
Dig Lazarus, dig.
Larry made his nest up in the autumn branches Built from nothing but high hopes and thin air Collected up some baby-blasted mothers, they took their chances And for a while they lived quite happily up there He came from New York City, man, but he couldn't take the pace Thought he was like a dog-eat-dog world
Then he went to San Francisco, spent a year in outer space With a sweet little San Franciscan girl I can hear my mother wailing and a whole lot of scraping of chairs I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something going on upstairs Lives just be yourself, lives just be yourself, lives just be yourself
Meanwhile Larry made up names for the ladies Like Miss Boo and Miss Quick He stockpiled weapons and took potshots in the air He feasted on their lovely bodies like a lunatic And wrapped himself up in their soft yellow hair I can hear chants and incantations And some guy is mentioning me
Well, I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something going on upstairs.
New York City man San Francisco L.A.
I don't know But Larry grew increasingly neurotic and obscene I mean, he never asked to be raised up from a tomb I mean, no one ever actually asked him to forsake his dreams He ended up like so many of them do Back in the streets in New York City in a soup queue
a slave, then prison, then the madhouse, then the grave of poor Larry.
But what do we really know of the dead and who actually cares?
Well, I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something
That's, that's kind of like a song poem, isn't it?
He's, he's got there.
It's when, you know, you got a groove going and you think, well, it's a good groove, but I don't know what to do with the groove.
So I'll do a sort of song poem on top.
It's not exactly rapping.
It's just kind of reading out a little short story, a bit like Park Life by Blur.
That's another similar one in the genre.
Anyway, that was Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds with, uh, Bad Seeds with Dig Lazarus Dig.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
We're in the midst of Text the Nation, ladies and gentlemen.
We're asking you to get in touch with us and suggest games that we can add to our games arsenal, particularly if they're appropriate for kind of, you know, after dinner situations.
They can be silly as well.
I like to read invented games.
Right.
Yeah.
It's hard inventing games, man.
Have you ever invented a game?
I tried to make some board games when I was a kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd need to think a bit harder to try and remember them.
I think everyone tries to make a board game, don't they?
Right.
At some stage in their life.
And then later I graduated onto trying to make a vending machine.
Wow.
I was obsessed with vending machines.
Everyone dreams of making a vending machine.
Yeah, it didn't go so well.
How did you?
Then I tried to, I actually tried to make a video game.
Yeah, just out of cardboard.
Do you remember that time when video games weren't, you didn't plug them into the telly, but it would just be a sort of scrolling piece of see-through plastic with lights behind it and a racing car sort of on a stick.
Do you remember that?
Tell me that's not a video game.
no but but there was a time before you know before so i tried to make one of those that's how did it go didn't go very well not that well no that's a shame man you should apply yourself i should try again next time you get a little time on your head a bit retrograde no come on that's time well spent
Uh, anyway, none of those games could be any worse than the Scooby-Doo game that I got the other day for my children.
Oh, my lordy.
It's a big board game, and you get like a, uh, wind-up, uh, or, uh, electric, uh, ghost.
And you... Sounds good so far.
So you got like a long, wibbly-wobbly track that goes round the board.
I love electric ghosts.
And then you... So you, uh, it's basically like Snakes and Ladders you're playing, right?
You're going round the wibbly-wobbly track.
And then you start the electric ghost going.
Oh.
Halfway around the track and you've got to outrun the ghost if he catches you then you're you're dead but it's fraught with all kinds of problems because the ghost gets stuck and he falls over and It's rubbish sounds rubbish Johnny.
Here's some more games that have been sent in by listeners.
Yeah, good games
This is from Samantha.
My brother and I used to play a game called Floppy Bodies.
When we were going on a trip in the car, we had to pretend we had no bones in our bodies, so that every time the car went round a corner, we flopped all over the place, landing on the floor, each other, the front seats, wherever.
It was brilliant!
That sounds dangerous as well, Samantha, but good as well.
Floppy bodies, you wouldn't want to play it while you're actually driving.
Well, it would be hard not to because the game, you know, hinges on the car going around corners and stuff.
Yeah, I know.
Hinges around the motion of the car.
Fine for the passengers, I'm saying not for the actual person driving.
I think the tip is to play it in the back seat.
Right.
Not if you're in the passenger seat.
In control of the actual car.
Here's another good one, a lady called Carmel in Horsham.
An old favourite of ours was Cracker Wacker.
You all had to tape cream crackers to your head, which was a bit of a challenge and took some work on techniques.
Then you would bash each other with sticks of celery, the winner destroying all the other people's cream crackers.
That's nice.
It's healthy too.
It's pretty good, isn't it?
Yeah, it's good and nutritious.
Nice bit to be hit in the face with a piece of celery.
Then you can have the celery after.
All the crumbs cascading everywhere and you're giggling.
I'd do it nude.
I don't know why.
It just seems like something nudists might do.
Well, there's very few games that aren't improved by being... By being naked.
By being nude.
By being nude.
Yeah.
Here's another one from David in Ealing.
Everyone leans back.
So this is, unlike the cracker one, you don't stick these to your face.
He's saying you lean back and you balance an after eight mint on your forehead.
It's good, you know, dinner parties after eight mints.
He's really thinking about all the details.
You have to eat the sweet without touching it with your hands, which basically entails scrunching your face up and gurning to encourage it to slip towards your mouth, smearing chocolate all down your face as it goes.
The first person to eat there after eight wins, but really...
everyone's a winner that's a good that is that is a good isn't it that is a good that is a good that's a good that's i can imagine myself playing that on my own you know what you could you could even use it as an advert have a nauseating group of uh 20-somethings in shorditch sat around playing that like didn't they have what was it oh yeah it was the it was the pringles or the um one of those wonky shaped crisps you know they had a advert that was all about them sort of playing games based on the chips
Did I imagine this?
Come on.
I wasn't listening.
Say it again.
No.
There was an advert with annoying young people playing games with crisps.
You know, like... Oh, possibly a Pringles one maybe.
Stackers or Pringles, yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
Possibly, but that's a good game.
I like that kind of thing.
The mint one.
The after eight one.
I'd say that's the best we've had so far.
That's a nice game.
Yeah, I'm going to keep the emails coming in please, listeners.
adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk or what is it, 64046.
We're looking for the best game you've either made up or played, you know, and had a good time with.
Now, fire off my next choice right now, Jude, because this is a long one, listeners.
I've picked out a few epics for you today, folks.
before we heard Supergrass with Far Away.
This is my second epic of the day so that's why I'm kind of speaking over the top of it otherwise it'll go on much too long.
But this is Boards of Canada with a track called Happy Cycling which I think is an extra track on their seminal 1998 LP Music Has the Right to Children.
Is it 98 or 99?
I think it was
just admit you don't know 98 cleaner for everybody it was 98 and it's an amazing track and it unfolds beautifully slowly and then it kind of picks up this rhythm gets going and then and then there's there's a sort of wonderful release towards the end the last couple of minutes it sort of blossoms into this whole other thing it's lovely so enjoy it's lovely relaxing track for you happy cycling by Boards of Canada
That's Boards of Canada with Happy Cycling.
That's a little epic that I reckon you can handle hearing over and over, you know, because some epics, they're great on the first listen, your Bohemian Rhapsodies, your Freebirds, you know, your Stairway to Heavens.
Great songs, not taking anything away from them, but it's a mistake to put them on a compilation.
That's all I'm saying.
However, not a mistake to stick a little bit of happy cycling by boards of Canada on there.
That's what I reckon anyway.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC's Six Music.
Six Music.
Sunday Afternoons.
On Six.
We're going to take this, make this show, one stop shop for all your cultural and political and news needs.
They're hearing the new music, but they need to hear the big tunes they need to know about.
What is their opinion on the EU?
I haven't got one.
I don't understand what's going on.
But what you're saying is we can come up with some sort of random trumped up view which people can take down the pub and argue about with their friends.
What I was hoping is that it's actually an informed and educated view.
I suspect it will be trumped up due to the laziness of the production team involved with the show.
Steven Merchant.
If we can do this, no other media need exist.
This is what I'm thinking.
Tomorrow afternoon, on BBC Six Music.
Adam and Joe.
On Six Music.
When the sun refused to shine People tell me there ain't no use in trying Now my girl you're so young and pretty
He's been working and slaving his life away
We gotta get out of this place This girl is a better life for me and you Now my girl, you're so young and pretty And one thing I know is true, yeah You'll be dead before your time is due
Watch my daddy in bed at times.
Watch his hair in a turd in gray.
He's been working and slaving his life away.
We gotta get out of this place If it's the last thing we ever do We gotta get out of this place Girl there's a better life for me and you Somewhere baby Somehow I know baby We gotta get out of this place If it's the last thing we ever do
We gotta get out of this place.
Girl, there's a better life for me and you.
Believe me, baby.
I know it, baby.
You know it, too.
That's the animals with We Gotta Get Outta This Place.
Now it's time for the nation's favorite feature.
Text text text text the nation.
What if I don't want to text the nation, but I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter text
Surely only a matter of time before we get some kind of award for thinking up a feature like this, don't you reckon?
I know, we're long overdue an award, we only ever got one.
Yeah, and it was rigged as well I think, wasn't it?
It was rigged.
All awards are rigged.
Yeah.
It's alright.
Can't they be rigged in our favour?
Uh, no.
Oh okay.
No they can't.
Fair enough.
We are asking you listeners to send in your favourite games that you like playing, you know?
Like mainly sort of grown up games, but it doesn't matter if they're a little ridiculous as well.
Yeah, I had a really good one printed out, but I've lost it.
But anyway, here are some more.
I'll build up to it.
Oh, no, there it is.
There it is.
We'll build up to that one.
Here's one from Christian, spelt with a K. Me and my sister used to play a game where one of us would pretend to be a stone and the other one would fall over it.
Mm-hmm.
And my friend Ashley used to play seats.
So wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
That was it?
That was the game?
These are childhood games.
We're building up to it.
It gets a bit better, stroke worse.
My friend Ashley used to play seats where her and her sister used to pretend to be different kinds of seats and sit on each other.
I remember that game.
I played that game too.
That's a fun game.
I've never played that game.
What would you be?
Like a postopedic stool?
I don't think it's so important.
What, how many different types of chair can there be?
Well, you can be a big comfy armchair if you hold up your arms and, uh, spread out your legs a little bit.
Is that like a sexy game?
Not really.
You can make it a sexy game, obviously.
That's why I said before, all of these games can be made sexy very easily.
I might be a... With the removal of clothes.
I might be a seat with an uncomfortable nub.
Well, I like, what now?
Anyway, carry on.
That's not really a game is it, but I like the idea of people being seats.
That's very odd.
Richard Harrison sends in, what was that noise?
Sounded like a howling dog.
He says competition jigsaw you and your opponent sit on opposite sides of the table laying out all the jigsaw pieces of a jigsaw on the table when the game starts you race to put the pieces together you can't steal pieces the winner is the person who's made most of the jigsaw by the time you reach stalemate speed jigsaw yeah like it well again a lot of games can be improved if you just play a speed version that's right we used to play speed connect 4 didn't we yeah that's a good game man
I claim to be able to beat anybody in the world at Connect Four.
At Connect Four?
Yeah.
I don't boast many things in my life.
Can you do it online?
I bet you can, can't you?
Yeah, you can, but you don't want to play against a computer.
You can't psych them out in the ways that I use.
You could play other people though, surely, online.
I bet you could.
Could you?
I don't think it's respected really as a game to have that kind of... You're trying to wheedle out of it now.
No, but I throw down the gauntlet.
If anybody out there thinks they can beat me at Connect Four, come to the studio, email us.
I'll take you on.
That's a good challenge.
We can do this.
If I don't beat you in the first game, I'll beat you in best of three.
okay you can't qualify like that come on it just did we should do that man and then we could film it and make a little podcast out of it that's what podcasts were made for if you reckon you're good at that kind of lame crap challenge cornish challenge cornish speed connect 4 i'm telling you listeners it's really good fun and basically you have to do it i'm not playing speed though
You have to, no I'm not saying you have to, but if you do play Speed Connect 4, the rule is you have to play immediately, like as soon as the other person, there's no thinking time.
Yeah, as soon as their chip hits the tray.
Exactly, you've got to thrust your one in there.
Not the tray, the thing.
The little barrier at the bottom.
Okay, here's another one.
This is from Professor Wigton.
Not sure that's a real name.
And this is an irresponsible game, a great game.
for the end of a restaurant meal is food ping all leftovers are put on one plate then you use your fork to ping a small amount over your shoulder points are awarded depending on who or what you hit and you're out if someone you're out if someone realizes it was you
I've only ever been thrown out of a restaurant once for this game, because a noob to the group accidentally pinged mashed potato into a waiter's face.
No, you can't play that kind of thing at a restaurant.
But since we'd finished the meal, it was basically a saving of over £100.
Yeah.
Because they didn't have to pay, they were just chucked out.
That's quite good.
And where's my favourite one?
My favourite one is, yeah, Beat the Security Light.
Hi guys, just thought of another game we used to play at a friend's house after dinner parties.
They had a long garden.
We used to take it in turns to try and get from one end of the garden to the other without setting off the security light.
That's from Chris Prince.
Chris, I did a very similar thing when we rented a place in Greece.
It had a staircase and it had security lights on the stairs.
And pretty much the first entire two nights we spent
stealthily creeping amazingly slowly up the stairs to see who could get the highest without activating the security light.
Right.
Because it's brilliant.
You feel like you're in Mission Impossible.
Exactly.
Because if you move slowly enough, you won't activate the light.
You're like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment.
Exactly.
But if you slip or make a sudden movement, the light goes off.
I've never had more fun in my life, I don't think.
I can imagine.
That's a brilliant one.
That sounds very good.
Keep them coming in.
Now here's some music from someone I saw on Jonathan Ross's program last night.
And I wasn't really aware of Duffy before, were you?
We've played Duffy on this show before many times, so yes I was.
I didn't realise she was so young.
What is she, like 19 or 20 or something?
Very young indeed.
But she's got a very good voice.
This is called Mercy by Duffy.
You got me begging you for mercy Why won't you release me?
You got me begging you for mercy
You got me begging you for mercy.
Why won't you really?
You got me begging you for mercy.
Why won't you really?
I said you better really.
I'm begging you for mercy.
Why won't you really?
You got me begging you for mercy I'm begging you for mercy
There you go, that's Duffy with Mercy.
That's what it's all about, innit?
It's all a sixties Chantours thing, innit?
Gotta be all like that.
That is what's going down, apparently.
Adele and Winehouse and a little bit of Duffy there.
It's all the stuff, innit?
It's good, I like it.
Yeah, do you enjoy that one?
Well, I like a person who can sing.
Someone who can hold a note.
I like people who can't sing.
Do you?
I genuinely do.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.
Some of my favourite singers are people that just muddle through, who've got crappy voices.
Well, there's a strange approach to singing, isn't there, in the world, because of all this X-Factor business, where being able to hit a note amazingly accurately, then warble is seen as the greatest type of singing, but often great singers are slightly off.
yeah aren't they or there's something in in in their voice a bit wrong or rough or you know very well they bend they bend the notes very very slightly well you have to perform a little bit more like you have to emote in more unusual ways do you know what i'm saying like too tired if you've got uh not the best voice in the world you have to make up for it in other ways
by it's true putting some weird inflections in there so the marquee smiths of the world who aren't really crooners they've got something the actual timbre and the quality of their voice in itself is nice yeah you turn a kind of a disability into an asset while we're talking about the other the other week uh but talking of having an amazing voice uh the the the greatest male soul voice of all time is widely considered to be marvin gay uh you know that guy
Yeah, I thought you were going to say Lamar.
Lamar.
No, I wasn't going to say Lamar.
Okay.
But Marvin Gaye's seminal 1978 album Here My Dear has just been re-released.
Again?
Again.
Yeah, it's been remixed and not remixed but all remastered.
And it's also got a second CD where they've got hold of the original tracks, the original 8, 16, whatever he recorded it on.
And they've got guest producers like Questlove and Prince Paul to kind of remix the original tracks, not adding anything new, but just resetting all the volumes and things.
And there's some pretty interesting results.
I'm never quite sure about those kinds of albums.
You've probably got some of your favourite bands who, like the Beach Boys, have they done that kind of thing with the Beach Boys in the past?
The Beatles, I'm sure they must have done.
And the results are never as good as the original.
They always make you think, God, the original mix of that was absolutely sublime.
But sometimes they, you know, you can pick up really interesting little details that you didn't notice the first time round.
Anyway, here my dear is Marvin Gaye's most interesting and kind of nakedly emotional album.
He wrote it as a settlement in his divorce, didn't he?
He did.
He married Berry Gordy's daughter, Anna Gordy, when he was 20 and she was 37.
He then regretted it.
They divorced.
He met a much younger girl, like a 17 year old girl.
they divorced and in settlement instead of paying her money he recorded this album which is a sort of brutally honest document of their divorce proceedings and also you know what it's like to fall out of love with someone and it's amazing it's the kind of album you can listen to with an awareness of what actually happened in his life
and it's sort of like the greatest soul musical never staged kind of thing and this is a track from it this is one of the more upbeat tracks this is not a remixed version no no this is the original version but it's been remastered so it's all sounding all sparkly and digital this is an upbeat track from here my dear a kind of a track about him meeting this new 17 year old girl and this is called falling in love again
In this life of happiness and sadness When you've lost all your love And it all ends up in madness And you say
For someone who feels it
Can't somebody say that you love me
Step in.
I call it love I call it love I call it love I call it love
So long as there was no tomorrow So let's have a toy and whisper I love you
Let's do it again
There we go Marvin Gaye with Fallen in Love Again from Here, my dear, that's just been reissued.
My two favourite things about that track, the alto saxophone.
Not a big fan of saxophones but that's got the most lovely saxophone sound of all time in my CD collection anyway.
Nice and restrained.
Second favourite thing is that all through it he's going poo poo poopy doo doo poopy doo doo exposing his doo wop roots there and his love of
poo poo no Adam no why do you have to bring everything into the lavatory i don't know just because you love the lavatory i love it there it's great i've got a nice one so you know who doesn't love the lavatory come on come on hey do you like uh uh these two things do you like trails i love trails you like sport uh it would take a really snazzily produced trail to make me interested in sport let's see how this one goes then
On Sunday the 16th of March it's time to get everyone going for the Sport Relief Mile.
Get involved, challenge your mates, challenge your family and you, you as well, rise to the challenge and raise loads of lovely money.
It's all part of a whole weekend of Sport Relief programming on the BBC.
Sign up for your nearest Sport Relief Mile at bbc.co.uk slash sport relief.
Get everyone going for the Sport Relief Mile.
There you go.
How'd you feel about that?
The one thing I didn't mention, of course, was relief.
That was the missing part of the puzzle.
Yeah, that's not sport.
That's helping people.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, that's different.
Helping people via sport.
That's the acceptable form of sport.
Now, what would you do in this situation that I was in earlier this week, Joe Cornish?
I was walking along Brixton Road and I saw a mother pushing a pram with her teenage daughter tagging along beside her.
She's got a little toddler in the pram.
The teenage daughter finishes a carton of juice, right, and then in full view of her ma lobs it over the shoulder.
over her shoulder and it lands on the pavement there and then she just walks on okay and it really made me feel very depressed and what's more there was a bin about two feet away from this was she trying to get it in the bin no no there was no question in fact she did it with a real flourish did the mother see this the mother saw it yeah didn't care didn't bat an eyelid what did you do absolutely nothing wow
you're brave I'm a real kind of genius man aren't I and it made me feel sick because not only was it it was so depressing just to see her doing that you know but it was obviously very depressing that I chickened out of doing anything I just couldn't get it together because the the fact that it was her mum complicated it you know what I mean like I didn't feel as if I wanted to cause embarrassment to her mum don't you tell me how to bring up my child exactly that was your business that would have been what I would have got
the baby could have been carrying a knife I could have got one in the knees there but no but you know what I'm saying would you what would you have done because the thing to have done obviously would have been to go up to the daughter and not be aggressive about it but just pick up the cart and say you know there's a bin there someone's my usual tactic is excuse me you drop this
Right.
Yeah?
And hand it to them.
And hand it to them.
How does that go down usually?
Usually with a fight.
A little bit of a fight.
Yeah.
Scuffle.
Scuffle.
I don't believe you actually do that to anyone who looked in any way scary though, would you?
You know, I feel sorry for people who do that because, you know, their attitude to litter probably permeates their entire attitude to life.
Yeah.
And they'll struggle.
Right.
You know, you've got to look after the details in the world.
That's true.
Pay attention to the little things and the big things take care of themselves, you know?
Take care of themselves.
So her punishment will be to, you know, to live life like a piece of trash.
Right.
She'll be treated like a piece of trash.
Yeah, but what if she's like 50 Cent and it all just works out for her and she ends up living in a giant mansion?
He puts his stuff in the bin.
Does he?
He's very conscientious, yeah.
I bet you he does as well.
He does.
I'm sure he does.
That's rule one.
He keeps the hood clean.
I felt like such a loser walking away from that.
I didn't even pick it up.
I didn't even go and pick it up.
So I'm worse than she is.
I'm worse.
You're worse.
I hate you.
Thank you.
You're scum.
I am scum.
Here's some Niles Barkley for you.
I know when something else gets done, cool breeze, come on in.
Sunshine, come on down.
You have the chance, I'm so calm.
The circus is coming to town.
All I'm saying is sometimes I'm more scared of myself.
You better love.
I said, run away.
Run away.
Run, children.
Run for your life.
Run away.
Run away.
Run, children.
Run.
Here it comes.
Say, run.
Yeah, I wanna run.
See where I'm coming from.
Will you see me coming along before you see where I'm running from?
No time for question asking.
Time is passing by.
All right.
You can't win, child.
We've all tried to.
You've been lied to.
It's already inside you.
Either you run right now, you best get ready to die.
You better run.
I said run.
Hurry little children, run this way
That's exhausting.
I'm exhausted.
That was run by Gnarls Barkley.
Gnarls, is that new Gnarls?
New Gnarls.
They were an outfit that I thought would probably peter, I have to be honest with you.
I thought after a massive hit like that, you gotta do some petering, cause you would have absolutely shot your bolt with crazy skins.
skins skins oh the youth drama i'm just keeping this program hip skin okay just by saying just by saying skins yeah i'm gonna i'm working on an idea for a program it's called uh it's either gonna be called junk because that refers to drugs and also people's genitals yeah yeah
Yeah.
Does it?
All kids, that's what skins, you know, skins, your skin, skins, roller skin.
Yeah.
All the kids care about sex and drugs.
Skinheads.
Like junk.
I might just do a show called, called Bits.
Oh, that's already a show, wasn't it?
Like a computer show.
That was a computer show.
Have you noticed Skins is sponsored by the British School of Motoring?
I can't say the word British.
Have you noticed that?
Uh, yeah, no, I never noticed that.
It's not really the sexy cherry on the sexy cake, is it?
You know, you spend millions of pounds on an advertising campaign to make everyone look sexy and then... sponsored by the British School of Motoring.
Plus the fact that they've got irresponsible motoring in that program as well.
It's disgusting.
We'll talk about that further in a second.
But first, here's the news read by...
Adam, quickly!
A newsman.
Thanks.
Claims of more bugging in a high-security jail, credit card companies suspected of foul play, and the PM supports the Premier League going abroad.
And in Six Music News, Amy gets her visa but runs out of time and dockety rumours at new anti-racism club.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Chris Winpress.
There are calls for a probe into allegations that meetings between lawyers and their clients at Woodill Prison in Milton Keynes were bugged.
It's been claimed that a secret unit was set up at the jail to record conversations of prisoners.
The human rights lawyer, Geoffrey Robertson, says if the claims are true, it could mean convictions like that for the so-and-murderer Ian Huntley being ruled unsafe.
The end result, if that is the case, then those cases will have to be brought back to court.
In my view, the courts will react with such fury and, as a matter of principle, those whose conversations about it will have to be let out.
A British man's been found guilty of murdering his wife in Australia and hiding her body in a barrel for more than 20 years.
Frederick Boyle, who emigrated from South Wales in the early 1970s, will be sentenced later this month.
An investigation's been launched into why a car which was being chased by police crashed into a brick wall, killing one of the passengers.
It happened in Brighton in the early hours of this morning.
a senior MPs accusing some credit card companies of freezing the accounts of good customers.
John Mcfall says they could be giving them to riskier people instead because they make more money for the firms in charges.
Gordon Brown's entered the row about plans for the English Premier League to play some games abroad.
Some supporters have condemned the idea, accusing the clubs of profiteering, but Mr Brown says it could lead to cheaper tickets at home games.
Let's see what the fans say on this.
There's no doubt about the worldwide interest in the Premier League and there's no doubt
That that's good for football, but I think it's important to recognize that all the money has got to go back into the game So that the fans get the benefit there are claims that the smoking ban in England has led to a big rise in the amount of litter Keep Britain tidy says people smoking outside and throwing their faggots away has caused rubbish on the streets to rise by more than 40% Now with six music news.
Here's Andre Payne music
Amy Winehouse has now got her visa for the Grammys, but it's too late for her to play at the awards in LA on Sunday.
She will perform rehab, and you know I'm no good via satellite link-up though.
A spokesman says Amy sadly can't go, but wants to thank the US authorities for their help.
Baby showers have been confirmed for the Rock Against Racism carnival in London's Victoria Park in April.
And there were rumours Pete Dockley would show up at the organisation's new club, Rebels Roots and Rockers in Brixton last night.
Six Music's Jacqueline Springer was there.
Most of the people who turned up tonight weren't even born when Rock Against Racism organized their legendary march from Trafalgar Square to Hackney back in 1978.
Little wonder then that the crowd in the live music room were treated to reminders of the organization's ongoing aim to raise political and social awareness while enjoying a variety of live music.
Tonight, despite the rumors, that didn't come from Pete Doherty, who had been expected to make an impromptu appearance.
Instead, Jerry Dahmer's DJ set and several up-and-coming bands provided the night soundtrack.
Finally, Richard Hawley took the NME Awards shows outside of London last night.
These fans were there at Manchester Academy.
Richard Hawley's music is to fall in love with.
He held the crowd.
We've seen him before.
We bought the album a while ago, so we kind of know what to expect.
And yeah, it was fantastic.
Everybody was cheering.
There were people just in awe and listening to the guitars.
Kind of surprised me, really.
You know, probably some of the music surprise is a bit retro, but he held everybody.
6 Music News in X Bulletin is at 12.30.
6.
On the Music Week this week we cross stateside to look forward to Sunday night's star-studded Grammy Awards.
And in this week's agenda we ask, isn't it time folk music got the top billing it deserved?
That's the Music Week with me Julie Cullen and Matt Everitt.
Tomorrow from 1.
Adam and Joe Let me tell y'all what it's like Being male, middle class and white It's a b**** if you don't believe Listen up to my new CD, Sham On
I got shit running through my brain So intense that I can't explain All alone in my whiteboard pane Shaking Rudy while the ban-
I'm rockin' the suburbs Just like Michael Jackson did I'm rockin' the suburbs He said that he was talented I'm rockin' the suburbs I take the checks and face the facts I'm a sub producer with computers This is all my s***y tracks
I don't know how much I can take Girl give me something I can break I'm rockin' the suppers Just like Quiet Riot did I'm rockin' the suppers
Take the checks and face the facts Some person with computers fixes all my shitty trials
Haze these days I pull up to the stoplight I can feel that something's not right I can feel someone's blasting me with hate and fangs Sending dirty vibes my way Cause my great-great-great-great-granddad Made someone's great-great-great-great-granddad enslaved
Just drove to the store for some pain
Y'all don't know what it's like to be a male middle class and white Y'all don't know what it's like to be a male middle class and white Y'all don't know what it's like to be a male middle class and white
He said that he wants talent I'm rockin' the suburbs I take the chance and face the facts He's a producer with computers This is all the shit he tries these days Yeah, yeah I'm rockin' the suburbs Yeah, yeah
That's Ben Folds.
With the five?
I think so, yeah.
Ben Folds Five with Rock in the Suburbs is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Right now it's time for... Text the nation!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Text the nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
just gonna wrap this mother up right now real quick for you yes thanks a lot everyone yeah what is uh sending emails and texts and all that you know some of them are very long and complicated complicated a lot of long words it's often you know tricky to read them and uh you know get sleepy midway through that's right so here's some of the simpler ones here's a good one that uh is a good one you know that's sort of a good one love it when that happens yeah they're good those good ones uh it's from steven cowie
He says, in our old student house we used to play a game, we never came up with a name for it, where we had to get from one part of the house to another or around a whole room without touching the floor at all.
I remember playing that game.
It's a brilliant game, it's best played when you're little.
Because then you don't break things, but can also be played when you're large.
It's not such a good after dinner game, I would say.
I don't know man.
You reckon?
Yeah, you know, get crazy.
Break the rules.
Maybe I will.
This would generally involve jumping from one piece of furniture to the next or some shimmying along corridors with your back pressed against one wall and your feet against the opposite wall.
Yes.
Wear a pair of clean socks for this.
Absolutely.
There's perhaps no better way of making you feel like your favorite action movie star than a daring leap of faith from the kitchen table onto the side of the fridge.
There's also no other, no better way for smacking your forehead really badly.
Very dangerous.
Breaking a piece of antique furniture.
These are just the caveats.
It's important to do caveats when you work at the castle.
Exactly.
Got to be legally covered.
Here's another one from Guido and Genevieve.
Wow.
That's a good couple of names though, isn't it?
Yeah.
Do you think they're boyfriend and girlfriend?
I hope so.
They're probably attracted to each other because of their names, I would have thought.
Why?
Because they both begin with a G?
Well, Guido, if you're called Guido or if you're called Genevieve, you're not going to want to go out with someone called Pete.
Or Tammy, are you?
You're right.
um they suggest uh quite a good game which is uh where does it have a name let's have a look you've got to choose between two very unpleasant things that's a good game isn't it like would you rather the illustrations they they give for this are rather lavatorial so i won't read them out but it's usually a choice between two like would you rather die of heat or cold right it's a classic one you can debate that for hours yeah
Would you rather have Amy Winehouse living in your cellar and coming into your house at night and having parties or Pete Doherty living in your attic and coming in your house at night and having parties?
Well, it's a bit like the character from Extras.
She's always playing that game with Ricky.
I haven't seen that show.
Here's another one from Bobster Brown.
He says his family have invented a game they play at Christmas called Pass the Sprout.
After dinner, someone gets a sprout, you pass it round, it's like a really crappy version of Pass the Parcel, you remove a leaf when it's passed to you.
That's nature's gift, isn't it?
That's the end.
But what do you get in the middle?
Just a really nutritious snack?
You get a... The taste slightly of metal.
Like a little nut in there.
You don't even get a nut, do you, with a sprout?
Here's a good one to be played if you work in a pub.
uh it's called a blackboard caricature touch relay from pete winne it can be played by three or more bar staff on the blackboard behind the bar i draw a caricature of someone in the bar a punter a customer the other staff must guess who that person is then they make their way into the public area of the bar and attempt to touch that person without them realizing if they get caught they have to skulk off embarrassed and come up with an excuse
If they get the right person, they get to choose the next person.
That's a nice little variation on a game that we used to play, of course, which is called the Touching Game.
The Touching Game.
How did that go?
Well, we used to just go out and you'd point to someone in the street and say, you've got to touch them.
So then you would go over and you'd just try and make physical contact with them without them noticing.
That can be fun.
Touch them lightly on the back of the coat.
yeah but if you put too much pressure you're in trouble and then we had a friend our friend zack always used to be much more daring than than everybody else and he would sort of go up and touch them on the front of uh you know like on their front rather than the obvious thing is to go and touch their back or whatever but he would go up and just touch their arm or their face sometimes it was frightening watching him do it because you just thought oh no don't do that it's gonna kick off
He's cool.
And here's finally one that's quite striking.
No, it's from Helen.
She says that her family make up games and they're embarrassing and she doesn't really like playing them.
And she's saying the worst one, I'm paraphrasing here, is called Spoons.
It's a variation on Blind Man's Buff, only with spoons.
She's forced to play it every Christmas when she was little.
Everyone sits in a big embarrassing circle.
One person gets blindfolded and has to feel people to guess who they are, but using only the back of two large spoons.
How could that possibly work?
Her next sentence is absolutely impossible.
Of course it's impossible.
I just like the thought of Helen's family sitting around, one of them blindfolded, and someone with a couple of spoons.
It's like some appalling biblical parable or something.
yeah there's nothing appalling about biblical parables i don't know why i used that word no well you didn't imply that there was jesus is ace you were just talking about one of the appalling ones yeah that's true so that's it for text the nation thanks very much to everybody who uh texted in sorry i didn't get my head around some of the more uh you know cerebral longer ones but adam and i will be taking them off and and and uh publishing them in a book and making lots of money
Jesus is ace.
Jesus is ace.
What do you think is going to happen to you if someone feels that you've implied that you might not be ace?
But if all that stuff's true, we could be in trouble.
He would forgive you, as Bill Hicks points out, yeah.
Now here's Apunk with, no, Vampire Weekend, what is my problem with Apunk?
That's Vampire Weekend with Apunk.
Is that the latest thing?
Is that riding high in the charts?
Gotta be.
It's riding high in the cool charts.
In the cool charts.
That's important fact.
Gotta keep the cool chart news.
They're the latest thing.
Be into them now because in a couple of weeks they'll be yesterday.
You reckon?
Yeah.
They might keep it on the boil though like the monkeys, the arctic monkeys.
You never know.
Well it's important to hedge your bets.
I reckon they've got the staying power man.
Um, now, what was I, uh, what was I gonna say?
Not being serious, by the way.
What?
About, you know... Vampire Weekend?
No, no.
It's just you were being quite serious there.
I know, they're in it for the long haul, man.
Yeah.
Um, so you're shuffling your papers like a news reader.
That's because it's almost the end of our bulletin listeners.
It's nice to shuffle papers.
It is nice.
Makes you feel grown up, doesn't it?
You never watch Nevermind the Buzzcocks, do you?
No, no, no, no.
You're missing out, man.
Really?
It's really funny.
It's really properly funny.
Like, maybe I'm just getting older, I don't know, and I'm growing into these things, but Harry Hill's TV Burp and Nevermind the Buzzcocks, that's like proper belly laugh city, man.
It's really amazing.
I'd sort of forgotten what it was like to watch a comedy show and really enjoy it.
But those shows are like pure unadulterated pleasure.
Simon Amstel's on top of his game and it's always a good show.
But Jamelia was on last week.
You've got a bit of a thing for her.
I've forgotten that I had one.
She's sexy.
And she's so impossibly... She's got the legs and this body balance as well.
Arms coming out the sides.
and the head ball area circular thing on the balanced on the top all the bits in the right place features on it good features nice she's got extras brilliant extras bottom i just love her and she seems like a nice person as well and um obviously talented although i don't really know much about her music she's good though right uh what was her big hit i don't don't know come on we must know six music
Oh, dear.
None of us have got a clue.
Well, you needn't have brought it up.
Well, I was just talking about it, but I just wanted to get it off my chest, because it opened up a little can of worms in the house.
The old argument about who you'd be allowed to snog, you know?
If the situation arose that you ever got the chance to have a little Jamelia snog, would you be allowed to, is the question I asked my wife.
And she said, she got angry about it.
And you just think, well, this is a hypothetical discussion.
It's very unlikely that I'm ever, ever going to get the chance to have a snog with Jamelia.
Why get upset about it?
But it didn't help turn into a little aggressive conversation.
I said, you're allowed to snog someone in the hypothetical world.
Who would you like?
You know, and you know, you're a more attractive person than I am.
There's every chance that you might actually get to do it.
And I'm going to be cool with it.
She didn't give me anything.
She said, no, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
And that was it.
Well, she's a better person than you.
No, come on!
You're a rancid, disgusting, unfaithful, mentally big man.
Just in my brainium.
She's a lovely, loyal lady.
I know, but I... You're disgusting.
I don't believe that she wouldn't... Drooling over women a third of your age.
Women are just... they're dishonest, I think.
You know?
Because I do not believe that she is not doing some mental drooling there.
What, your wife over Jamelia?
No, not over Jamelia.
That's the way to square the circle, to trim the triangle.
She likes the ruffians.
Get Jamelia and the wife.
Like when we're watching cop dramas, she always likes the... To go to the theatre to see The War Horse, which has some fantastic puppetry in it.
There you go, well done.
Got out of that brilliantly.
But do you know what I mean?
Like when she's watching sort of cop dramas and stuff, she always likes the ruffians on there.
I'm sure she'd snog one of those ruffians.
Anyway, that's Chameleon Youth, and I'd be fine with it, that's what I'm saying.
She wanted to snog a ruffian?
That's fine.
Anyway, now here's the last of my epic choices for you listeners.
This one is not particularly long, this musical choice, but I mean, it's on the long side, but it's good, man.
It's a Roxy music track and it's from Siren, which has got, it's a sort of weird album, Siren,
I think is it the one with Jerry Hall lying on the beach on the front?
I think it might be.
Anyway, like all Roxy Music's albums, there's brilliant tracks on there and this is one of the best in my opinion.
This is called End of the Line.
Think I walk out in the green
Called you time and time again I've got no reply You've gone reached the point of no return The more I see, the more I stand
Now my turn
I walk out in the snow There's no love to keep me warm inside I hope it's fine At the end of the line Now's the time to take a dive
If I should cross your mind
That's great.
That little coda at the end there, the piano bed.
That's Roxy music with end of the line.
Uh, sounding a little bit like Dexys Midnight Runners there almost, you know, with the, with the fiddles in the middle.
Sex, drugs, girls, boys.
I don't care.
Skins, junk.
Well, man, that's a good idea for show.
You should get off the ground.
Thanks a lot mates junk.
That's excellent That's it for us this week folks.
Thank you so much for listening.
Listen, I've got some sad news for you We're away next weekend, but don't worry because Alan Carr is stepping in
TV's Alan Carr.
TV's Alan Carr, which I'm what?
Off of Celebrity Ding Dong.
I find that quite flattering that he would step in for us.
Yeah.
He's been filling in for the merchant, hasn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah, and he's very good apparently and he'll be here at the same time next week.
We're taking a week off doing things that we'll tell you about the following week when we'll be back again.
So it means there won't be any podcast.
Well there might be.
We're sort of sorting it out.
Listen out for one.
We were thinking of maybe trying to fix up the Christmas show that we did, because that was a good show.
And maybe do that.
Yeah, but the rules are very strict here.
The rules are strict, Castle.
We don't know whether we'll be allowed.
No, so we'll have to figure that out.
But right now, we're going off to record the intros for this weekend's podcast, of course.
Keep downloading those podcasts, folks.
Thank you very much for having done so so far.
And thanks for listening today and texting and emailing and all that sort of good stuff.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Have a great weekend and stay tuned right now for Liz Kershaw.
I was happy by myself.
Accidentally, you seduced me.
I'm in love again.
I lie in bed.
So suddenly still.
My eyes wide open.
I'm in a chair.
I don't believe this.
I'm in love again.
This has been at this point millions of years They've grown clear, yes, but I, I am a boy It's no story, which of us happens to be set out?
This really hurts, this has well been