From midday, Liz Kershaw.
And now, it's Adam and Joe.
I'm the only bee in your body
I have a secret to tell From my electrical well It's a simple message And I'm leaving out the whistles and bells So the room must listen to me Filibuster vigilantly My name is Luke and Harry One note spelled L-I-T-E My story's infinite Like the Longines' symphony And it doesn't rest Luke and Harry in the outlet by the light switch Who watches over you?
Make a little birdhouse Here's so much to put to find a point on it
Really, I'm not actually your friend, but I am There's a picture opposite me of my primitive ancestry Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beach's shipwreck free Though I respect that a lot, I'd be fired if that were my job After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts, Lubert of friendliness
Like guardian angels, it's always me.
Luke and Harry in the alley by the light switch.
Who watches over you?
Make a little birdhouse in your soul not to put too
I'm the only bee in your bonnet Make a little bird-ass in your soul
All right, you're the only bee in my bonnet.
There's no other bees.
Just stop going on about it.
Happy now?
Yeah, I'm happy.
That's They Might Be Giants with Birdhouse In Your Soul kicking us off this Saturday morning.
Hi, this is Adam Buxton.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish.
And it's very nice to be with you listeners.
Thanks a lot for tuning in.
We'll be here for another two hours and 55 minutes here on BBC6 Music with some fantastic music.
With some fantastic music.
Is that how I said it?
No.
Oh.
We've got also the amazing result of this week's Song Wars coming up very soon.
We've got a brand new Song Wars, text the nation, plus terrific music in this first hour alone from the likes of badly drawn boy, yeah, Kate Nash, yeah, Thomas Dolby.
Which, which, is that your Dolby?
Yeah, a bit of doubly coming up.
Nice bit of doubly.
And the water, boys.
Is it the whole of the moon?
Oh, it's in session, yeah.
The whole of the moon in session?
Yeah.
That's exactly what I really need.
And then later on, are they playing the Hot Chip song?
I got obsessed by that song during the week.
I should have asked them if they could put it on the playlist.
I bet it's not on there.
Can't see it, mate.
Oh, and there you go.
Anyway, lots of other good stuff to look forward to, though.
Lots of great chat chit.
Oh, we love to chat and chit.
So stay tuned, folks.
We love to talk chit.
Certainly.
Right now, here's Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
I was wasting my time trying to fall in love Disappointment came to me and booted me and bruised and hurt me
I was wasting my time, looking for love Someone must look at me and see their sunlit dream I was wasting my time, praying for love
Does not exist and that's
Always thinking about myself Someone on the deathbed said there are other souls too I was driving my car I crashed and broke my spine So yes, there are things worse in life than never being someone
Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
I was watching a good program on BBC 4 this week about pop, you know, their pop season they have at the moment.
And they had some great interview footage of Morrissey on there.
It was a program all about sexuality and pop, you know, and it was a kind of history seemed to be more or less through the 80s.
of all the different kind of sexy acts.
That's when they started, that's officially when they started bending the genders.
That's right.
The gender benders came out.
Well, they invented a new type of, you know, vice that could actually bend genders.
Yeah.
Oh, that's my favourite vice.
And Morrissey was on there, of course, because he's a sexy man.
They had some great footage of Morrissey being mobbed by male fans, but sort of lads, you know what I mean?
Like people in those kind of checked shirts with scary haircuts that you feel might beat you up if you looked at them the wrong way.
And they're all Morrissey fans and they're jumping out... Slightly rockabilly.
Right, but not really rockabilly though.
They look like sort of football thugs.
Right.
You know, not too... Was Morrissey enjoying it?
He seemed to be enjoying it.
Yeah, he liked it.
But it was exactly as if he was, you know, as if they were girls, as if they were sexy girls, but they just happened to be these bloods... Does he gender-bend Morrissey?
I think he likes to bend the gend.
Really?
Yeah, a little bit.
He might have a little bit of a crush on a man as well as a lady.
He likes to hold hands with some boys and men.
Does he?
Yeah, not boys.
But you know, this is bad, isn't it?
No, it's good.
Is it?
That's very good.
It's all good.
You know, he's gay, Morrissey.
Is he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I didn't know that.
No.
Well, that's the thing.
That's why it was part of the programme, you know.
It's not something that's at the forefront of his image, you know what I mean?
No, that's good, isn't it?
Yeah.
He doesn't thrust it in your face.
No, unless you're really friendly with him.
But I saw, as part of the pop season on BBC Four last night, Spice World.
Mmm now film what a film and what kind of an excuse is that to put spice world on BBC for what was the excuse?
Oh, cuz it's pop part of the pops Yeah, that's not good enough is it not really can't have spice world on BBC for yeah, that's just not right presumably The idea was that it's it's a sort of insane pileup of pop man.
Well, that's correct, but it's just awful Is there a good bit in spice world?
No, like even ironically or in any way?
No, no, no none none
Richard E. Grant's finest moment.
No.
Do you think it's worse than Hudson Hawk?
Yes.
It is much worse because it's awful.
There's almost nothing there.
Hudson Hawk's not bad.
Yeah.
Have you seen it?
It's quite good.
It's quite good.
Yeah.
But yeah, and I was thinking about Morrissey as well.
The way to do a Morrissey impression is to just jut your chin out.
And then if you can do the Manchester accent as well and that helps a little bit, but his accent is not that strong.
Mainly just jut your chin out and then you sound like Morrissey.
That's a good idea.
It's sort of foolproof impressions.
Well, you had a Harry Potter one, didn't you?
Did I?
Yeah, Harry Potter's easy.
You just do a sort of a jimba jaw.
You stick your lower set of teeth out.
That's what I'm doing for Morrissey.
No, this is a much more toothy thing.
You stick them out so they overlap the upper set.
And then you just go Dumbledore.
And with Morrissey you just go Manchester.
Easy as that.
There'll be more foolproof impressions possibly coming up later in the show but now here's a little bit more music.
This is a free play of yours is it?
Yeah I picked this one because Bobby Fischer the chess genius died this week of course or last week and this is a song all about Bobby Fischer and I never really understood it when I was a young person.
You got me into this album, Prefab Sprouts.
Yeah this is a great album.
I think it's the debut isn't it?
Yeah it's that album Swoon.
I bought it on like proper old vinyl in WH Smith's in what's it called Sloan Square on Impulse.
I just like the look of the cover.
Were you wearing Impulse at the time?
Yeah I was no I was on Impulse.
Oh you were snorting Impulse.
And this cover really hit the spot so who is it then Prefab Sprout with?
Q Fanfare.
Some expressions take me back Like hair of gold and sweet Mary And running to me The sweet, sweet songs that cloud your eyes You spell the surprise
Burrito High Street buried me Beneath a oak tree As this is to me And so to you is something else That keeps you up long Past your bedtime tearing hell The sweetest moment comes at last
The waiting's over In shot, they stare and cue the sun When Bobby Fish is playing, playing, playing Touch the ground, playing, playing You take those Russian boys And play them out of town Sweetest moment comes at last The waiting's over In shot, they stare and cue the sun
Blame, blame Clutch the ground Blame, blame You'll take those Russian boys And play them out of town Playing for blood As grandmasters should Some obsessions take me back
Like hair of gold and sweet Mary And driving to me The sweet, sweet songs that cloud your eyes The selling supplies Laredo High Street buried me
Beneath a oak tree When Bobby Fisher's plane, plane, plane Touches the ground, plane, plane You take those Russian boys and play them out of town So just no one comes at last
The waiting's over, in shock they stare and cue fans When Bobby Fischer is playing, playing, playing Touch the ground, playing, playing You take those Russian boys and play them out of town Playing for blood, as grandmasters should
Prefab Sprout with Q Fanfare from their first album.
It's time for Song Wars.
The war of the songs.
A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs.
So check it out.
That was a slightly premature jingle there, Ben.
You're not a trainee, but just to save your modesty, I'm going to call you a trainee.
Because frankly, that's the level of producing that was going on there.
He prematurely activated his jingles all over the shop.
Because I was going to say how fantastic that song is and how much I think we both here the Adam and Joe radio show love Paddy Macaloo.
And we're not sure where he is.
We think he lives somewhere in the countryside somewhere a bit remote.
He's got a big bushy beard.
And he's a genius.
That's like me.
He's a bit like you.
Big bushy beard, lives in the countryside.
No, I'm not in any way like Paddy McElwain.
We did a TV show years ago where we had a thing that we did with pop stars where we searched through their record collections and we tried to get Paddy McElwain involved in it.
But he said he didn't want to do it because he didn't like judging other people's work in public.
Which was a very good reason.
Nothing you can say to that.
Yeah.
Although we did get Thomas Dolby.
We did.
He loves judging other people's work in public.
Yeah.
But of course the prefab sprout connection is that he produced them for a few albums.
Dolby produced the sprouts.
So he gave us a lot of good Macaloon facts and stories.
Do you remember him?
Yeah.
Do you?
He was a good man.
I've got it all filed away in my happy pop memory box.
Now, it's time for Song Wars, of course, as the premature jingle indicated.
And last week, remind me what it was?
Last week's theme was instructional songs for children.
There you go.
And Adam did one all about brushing your teeth.
I did one about sort of the difference between right and wrong.
That's right.
I'm going to be beaten this week.
I know for a fact.
Why?
It's not, I'm not saying that in a self-pitying way.
I really, I'm not.
I just know, I concede A to the fact that your song was probably better than mine last week.
Funnier, more effort had gone into it.
Mine was about, you know, I was happy with mine.
There was some good harmonies there.
I think it was very good instructionally about brushing your teeth and the importance of avoiding dental work.
But, you know, the fact that you were on form combined with the fact that I lose every week just bodes badly, I would say.
So shall we announce it?
Well, we've got such a huge amount of emails on Song Wars this week.
I haven't even had a chance to go through them all, really.
But here's one or two of them.
um caroline people said adam your song was an improvement it sounded a bit like a blur slowie if they were to write about tooth brushing an improvement is she the one that slagged me off last week about how my song was uh smacked of ennui and it was too long i don't know but she does say i feel thoroughly ashamed of myself for being so scornful last week oh i think she was being worried about me last week i think she was rude about all of us last week
Andrew Boniface says it's another vote for Mr. Joe this week.
That's very nice.
But both were really great.
Forget all the criticism from those spoiled, unappreciative listeners.
Song Wars must continue.
We were threatening to stop Song Wars for a bit last week.
Can we not carry on threatening?
We can carry on threatening.
Fiona Denny says, please don't stop Song Wars even though its popularity hasn't been validated by a BBC survey.
I love it.
Yeah, that was very nice.
That's good.
Yeah.
Well, should we announce the winner then?
Alright then.
What were you going to say?
We should have some kind of jingle for this, shouldn't we?
To give it more excitement.
We did have a jingle.
It was part of the Star Wars thing.
It was the dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Is that not loaded then?
I don't know if it's still loaded.
We should have abandoned the whole Star Wars jag fairly early on.
Okay, here we go.
That's good though.
The sound of you just ripping that is exciting.
Oh dear.
Oh, shut up.
Oh, dear.
What's that?
3%?
Does it say 3%?
Let's put it this way.
One of us has got 3%.
What?
The other one's got 97%.
Look, come on.
In this situation... We need to find those votes.
Well, in this situation, I want to have proof.
How many votes did we actually get in?
Are we talking 15 votes here?
In which case I can live with that.
While we play the winning song, we'll get a more accurate, statistical breakdown of exactly what's happened.
Because while I can see that the toothpaste brush song, which was mine, was maybe not as good as yours, it was not 3% rubbish, all right?
So I want some facts now, OK?
Because this is getting ludicrous.
Anyway, let's hear the winning song.
Joe, would you like to introduce this?
Yeah, this is the right and wrong song.
It's about how to tell the difference between right and wrong.
Is it right to join a gang?
Is it right to kill a man?
Is it right to buy a gun?
Is stabbing people fun?
It's wrong This is all about right and wrong And those things are wrong This is all about right and wrong Is it right to read and write?
Is it right to be polite?
Is it right to work at school?
Don't ever play before It's right
Those things are alright.
This is a song about wrong and right.
Is it right to have a smoke?
Light a spliff or sniff some coke?
Is it right to deal crack?
There's nothing wrong with that.
It's wrong!
Is it right to sit up straight?
Is it right to clean your plate?
Is it right to clean your room, learn facts about the moon?
It's right!
This is a song about wrong and right.
And those things are right.
This is a song about wrong and right.
Is it right to happy slap?
Is it right to pla-pla-plat?
Is it right to trash your place, put your party on MySpace?
It's right!
Well, we've consulted and apparently there were about, there were 37 votes for Jo's song and there were four for mine.
I thought she said 60 votes overall.
No.
Was that right?
What?
So 60 included texts as well?
Thanks Ben.
Well she said 37.
Why are you trying to increase your number even now?
I'm just trying to make it sound as if more people vote.
To make this show sound bigger and more exciting.
Don't worry about that.
What I'm worried about is why I'm wasting my time doing a song each week.
Your songs in the past have been superb.
That was a good toothpaste brush song.
You know where I think it might have
You know, it's very ignoble of me to say, but I think maybe you shouldn't have used the same backing track as the Meatball song.
You've used similar tracks that I've used before, and you've won on them?
Well, I don't know.
It's very tricky, isn't it?
Maybe some people are confused about which of us is which.
For instance, David Slater sends an email that says, this week I vote for Joe.
I was impressed with his production, although I believe children should make up their own minds about euthanasia.
and so suggest the line is it right to kill a man be changed to is it right to kill a man who doesn't want to die or something similar for the full release version that's fair enough isn't it that's a fair point I also like Joe's thumbs down webcast right he's confusing me with you he thinks I did the radio every single good thing that happens is basically Joe's I also saw a video with Adam that was good where he was on Richard and Judy's you say we pay so he's confusing lots of things you've done with me yeah
And I think that happens to us quite a lot.
Sometimes we get invited on shows and they've clearly invited the other person.
They look a bit disappointed when they see, you know, does that ever happen to you?
So maybe that's what, let's say that's it.
So Song Wars, I'm calling for a Song Wars sabbatical and that's sealed it as well.
That one, that is a kick in the face.
That should make you want to, you know, do even better.
No, it doesn't.
It makes me want to have a break.
Really?
Yeah.
For at least, I would say, one month.
Song Wars sabbatical.
Really?
I thought you would be up for that.
I don't know.
I quite enjoy it.
Yeah.
You were complaining before Christmas that it was too much.
Let's have a little chat about it during the next song, maybe.
Song chat?
But, you know, thanks for everybody who voted.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Look what you've done listening.
Thank you.
Look what you've done.
Thanks four people.
Sincere thanks to four people.
The rest of you.
I would happily fight you with my hands.
Here's Adam and the Ants after a trail.
Ooh, no, it's just straight Adam and the Ants.
Cause I'm here again
I've got the best, so I want the rest
Let them off tonight
Is it a right motion?
And I'm in the ants with Xerox.
He was pronouncing it Xerox machine there.
Really?
Xerox machine.
That's like a, an emotion machine, a machine.
Yeah.
He gets very emotionally involved when he photocopies.
What was that of in the ants trademark?
Would you say?
Uh, that trademark was, well, his trademark was the white stripe across the cheekbones and nose.
Even though that was just one part of his, one of his many looks.
Yeah.
Did that remain constant through all of his different looks?
It went through a few of them, but then he changed.
Like when he was the space man, do you remember it was the spare
Yeah, yeah, I like that song.
Apollo 9.
Yeah.
That was a good song.
And then he was, well, yeah, he was, because he had the stripe through the sort of pirate phase and through the dandy phase as well, didn't he?
The Prince Charming phase.
We might be talking about pop stars sort of physical copyright ideas.
Trademarks.
Trademarks, yeah, a bit later.
for text the nation might not haven't really decided yet listen just to just to dally on the song wars thing for a tiny bit longer here's an email from lily elbra uh aka queen latifah uh i'll read this in full it's not very long adam i do not mean to hurt your feelings if truth be told i would rather vote for you joke and be quite smug
But I cannot ignore your lack of effort week after week.
You shouldn't have put that, Lily.
It is with heavy heart that, once again, I have to give my back into Jo's song.
I hope this vote will not fill you with despondency, but instead motivate you to seize the challenge of next week's wars.
I know you have it in you.
She actually says, I know you have it on you.
I know you have it in you to create a truly inspirational piece of music.
After all, look back at your triumph with the hours, perhaps the best Song Wars song of all time.
Come on, Adam.
You can do it.
Well, I'm not going to respond to that just at the moment.
I might respond to it later on.
But right now, here's the news read by Nicky.
On digital radio and online BBC six music shootings in Preston and Nottingham energy prices unjustified says watchdog and it's the FA David and Goliath.
It's 9.30, I'm Nicky Cardwell.
There's been two double shootings overnight.
In Preston, two men aged 26 and 28 are being treated in hospital for shotgun wounds after an incident on a housing estate in the early hours of the morning.
And in Nottingham, two men were taken to hospital yesterday evening and neighbours say that's not unusual.
I think it's terrible, there's shootings going on all the time.
It's so common now and I really think more needs to be done to stop this happening.
It's getting more and more common to see
Roads cordoned off like this and instantly shootings cross your mind.
And in Stockwell, South London, police have raided two cafes as part of a crackdown on drugs and firearms.
The borders and immigration agency have also been called in.
The energy group Energy Watch is urging the competition's commission to investigate gas and electricity suppliers.
It says recent price rises by three companies averaging 15% are unjustified.
The Chancellor and the Financial Services Authority have been heavily criticised in a new report into the Northern Rock crisis.
The Treasury Select Committee says the FSA showed a systematic failure of duty
by not spotting what it calls Northern Rock's reckless business plan.
John McFaul is the committee's chairman.
When Northern Rock approached the tripartite authorities, they should have responded much more quickly.
They should have had a good communication strategy to reassure the public that their money was safe and they could have got that money out promptly.
That was not done.
The centre of Las Vegas had to be evacuated last night because of a fire at a major hotel.
The blaze engulfed the top floors of the 3,000-room Monte Carlo casino.
Six Music Sport and Adam Gilchrist has announced his retirement.
The Aussie wicket-keeper will step down at the end of the triangular one-day series against India and Sri Lanka.
And it's the biggest game in Haven and Waterlooville's history.
This afternoon, they faced Liverpool at Anfield in the FA Cup fourth round.
Six Music's weather now and rain pushing back into Northern Ireland, Scotland and Northern England.
Southern areas of the UK, though, should be dry and bright.
Six Music News, more in an hour.
Six.
On the Music Week this week, in the wake of Amy Winehouse's latest exposé, The Sun's Gordon Smart joins us as we debate whether the tabloids are hounding our musicians to death.
And we look back at Morrissey's week at the Roundhouse.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett.
Tomorrow from 1.
Six music.
I'm on my way Got so done Stuck in waste since the distant dawn I thought I'd only go since the last to annoy I'm on my way This is my main offender
I gotta stop
BBC Six Music.
This Sunday on Six Music... Hello, everyone.
Yes, it's me.
Alan Carr.
Goldfrapp.
Oh, I love Goldfrapp.
You know that first album where she sounds like she's on a tip with the seagulls?
She's not doing that any more.
You can't talk about your hormones on me.
This is a young... This is a young audience.
They don't hear about the menopause.
Not on the Sabbath.
And if you want to text me or ring in or no, I don't want to speak to you.
I've got a reminder when this is sixth music.
Just in case you're thinking, what the hell is this?
Sixth music.
I fly like paper, get high like planes If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my neck If you come around here, I'll make em all day I get one down in a second if you wait I fly like paper, get high like planes If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my neck If you come around here, I'll make em all day I get one down in a second if you wait I fly like paper, get high like planes If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my neck
We're making my name
Pirate skulls and bones.
Sticks and stones and weeding bones.
Running when we hit them.
Lethal poison for the system.
Pirate skulls and bones.
Sticks and stones and weeding bones.
Running when we hit them.
Lethal poison for the system.
No one on the corner has wagon like us.
Hit me on my banner prepaid wireless.
We pack and deliver like you people.
Already going just pumping my gas
M.I.A.
Third World Democracy Yeah, I got more records in the KGB So, uh, no funny business Are you already alright?
Now, I was listening quite carefully to the second half of that song, because, to be honest, my alarm bells went off there.
Adam, are you listening?
I am.
I'm looking at the lyrics online for that song.
Yeah.
All I want to do is gunshot, gunshot, gunshot, and take your money.
Then she says, summer murder, summer murder, summer Lego, as if murder is a children... Did she not listen to my song?
as if murders like a game for children yeah you know I know we're both quite old listeners but I think that song might have stepped across the line you reckon I'm trying to find the lyrics I think it's in just encouraging kids to to hold up shops and then go and steal Lego right
Well, it's it's putting murder on the same level as a little game of Lego Lego wars You know and it's all very well being ironic and tongue-in-cheek and all that But there are some people out there that don't have the mental capacity to understand.
Oh Ironism there are well the kids for instance can't as soon as you start talking like that though, isn't you're in trouble Aren't you I know but I've got the lyrics here.
I fly like a
paper plane get high like planes now that's irresponsible and irresponsible flying without a license irresponsible flying you know alex james would never do that nope or gary newman they they they've done proper training for flying like planes catch me at the border i got visas in my name if you come around one v
That's totally legal.
You're not allowed to do that.
No, that's alright.
She could have visas for different countries.
Oh, really?
If she's made the proper application, that's not a problem.
Plopper.
If it's plopper, that's fine.
It's not a problem with me.
If you come around here...
I'll make them all day.
I'll get one done in a second if you wait.
So she's talking about paper planes now.
She's making paper planes.
Oh is she?
Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
So this is at the moment all about paper planes.
Fine.
Sometimes I think sitting on trains
Oh, sometimes I think, sitting on trains, while I'm sitting on trains.
Yeah, fair enough.
Every time, every stop I get to, I'm clocking that game.
Everyone's a winner, we're making our fame.
Bonafide hustler, making my name.
Chorus, all I want to do, bang bang bang bang, and a click.
Are you sure she's making paper planes?
She's not making something else out of paper.
I don't think so.
What would she be?
A big fat doobie?
Yeah.
Oh, maybe she is.
I don't know.
She might be shotting food as they say.
Oh is that what the kids are saying?
The crow.
You've always got the stuff.
Shot the crow.
The ching chong.
The ching chong.
All I want to do bang bang bang bang and a click ching and take your money.
So that's the chorus.
Pirate skulls and bones, stitchy stones and weed and bombs.
Oh dear.
Running when we hit them, a lethal poison ponday system.
Right, let's have that off the playlist please Ben.
That's a disgrace.
That shouldn't sully six musics airwaves.
It's a very tuneful song but just irresponsible and a bad influence.
No one on the corner had swag like us.
Hit me on, hit me on up
Oh no hit me on hit me on up on a prepaid wireless what?
Just disgusting she's prepaid for the wireless ah we pack and deliver like UPS trucks Oh, she's got a job now already going to hell.
Just bumping that gas.
She just it's oh She's
Highly irresponsible.
It's a good song though.
This is disgusting.
Let's clear the air with a free play.
What was that sample?
That sample was straight to hell, wasn't it?
The Clash.
Very entertaining use of it as well.
Very good song.
Yeah.
But totally irresponsible.
I know that's like poison with sugar on it.
Exactly.
Or vice versa.
Here's Thomas Dolby from the 1830s with a track called Europa and the Pirates.
This will sound good next to mine.
Yeah, this is a nice little story.
From the 80s when all people cared about was their trousers.
On the sand, the war took her away It's war of how they did it Baby, the pirate's here You're over on my country I stand this side and you think you're right
All the films Paste the pictures on my wind I'll sell But that's not quite the sign It isn't, is it?
Europa, my old friend We'll never find the dreams again Europa, on my contrary Europa, on my contrary Europa, on my contrary Europa, on my contrary Europa, on my contrary
Who's lost the paper man?
Call it your name
I'll stand aside and do the work
Thomas Tolby with Europa and the Pirate Twins.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
That used to be the theme tune for a BBC radio show called B-15, if I recall correctly, which came from studio B-15.
Am I insane?
And they'd use the opening bars of that song.
Maybe some nerd out there can correct me if I'm wrong.
Yeah, we're big fans of Dolby, Adam and I. Yeah, he's the man.
He claims at least to have invented the synthesizer.
Does he?
No, he never does.
Or maybe some people claim it for him.
He may have popularized synth pop, but Robert Moog was the inventor of the... Really?
The father of modern synthesizer music.
He probably invented some components of it.
Maybe.
Some new sounds?
Yeah, well, certainly his parents were part of the Dolby laboratories, weren't they?
I've no idea.
I think they were.
I think there is a connection with the Dolby system sound and Thomas Dolby.
Wowza.
Hey, listen, listeners, it's now time for the nation's favourite feature, the greatest and cleverest feature in the world.
It's complicated.
So get your thinking caps on while we explain exactly what happens.
But first of all, here's the
jingle.
Yes, it's Text the Nation time.
This is the part of the show where we ask you a thing and you text us what things, what you think of in answer.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Once they text us, we read some of them out on the radio.
Is that loud?
Yeah.
yeah okay so do you get that listeners and this week's subject for text the nation is what's it going to be well it was your idea it was i don't know how to put it pithily but it's kind of pop star trademarks yeah and um you know maybe
as well as your favorite ones for example Bowie's eye.
We should explain what we mean by pop stars trademark.
Some pop stars usually really famous ones have a visual trademark.
Physical gimmick maybe.
A physical gimmick but if you're very lucky it's a natural one.
It's a natural one.
Bowie's multicolored eyes.
Tom York he's got what's going on with his eyes.
I don't know he I think slightly lazy eye with all due respect.
Yeah I'm not sure.
Something brilliant's going on.
I think whether it's from an illness or I don't know why.
He might be self-conscious about it but as far as I'm concerned it gives him this brilliant mystique and makes him seem even more brilliant.
So if you're very lucky as a pop star you might have some kind of amazing physical kink speciality kind of thing.
If you're not so lucky and you haven't got this genetically you have to kind of invent it.
right so you end up with Amy Winehouse's beehive or Grace Jones's plaster in the 80s didn't she used to have a really cool plaster yeah or maybe she was she one of the first people to shave a section of her eyebrow possibly maybe I'm imagining possibly if you're adamant obviously you've got the stripe going across the nose
We'd like to know, listeners, what your physical trademark would be if you were a pop star.
And this is an area where you've got to innovate.
You know, pop's been going on for a very long time.
A lot of the most obvious ones have been used.
So try and think outside the box.
Something that you could walk on stage with and people would immediately go,
Hmm.
That person's interesting.
Yeah.
Even if they sound rubbish.
That's right.
That's what I need, you see, to revitalise myself for Song Wars.
I need some... But it's no good on the radio, obviously, is it?
If your... A seal had those kind of scars, didn't he?
Didn't he?
Scarred cheeks.
Yeah.
Yeah, Ben's nodding.
I never understood what the deal was.
Was that from having, you know, what's it called?
Eczema.
Well, some skin condition, acne, severe acne or... I don't know.
We can find out.
Yeah.
In the case of seal.
Okay, let's find out.
So text us.
What's the text number there?
Oh, it's 64046.
So text 64046 with your idea for like a physical trademark.
My physical trademark would be that I'm quite short.
and a little, a little chubby.
I think you should have, I think you should get your feet made extra hairy like a hobbit.
Capitalise on what you've got already.
Go to a plastic surgeon and get them beaten up a bit.
Yeah, well that's the way to go isn't it?
Eject them so they're hairy.
If you're gonna, if you're gonna really make a success of yourself.
I'd be made taller.
I was gonna say, we could put you on stilts.
That would be good.
You'd be staggering about on stilts.
What would your stage name be though?
I don't know.
Joe Longthorn.
Joe Longthorn.
Yeah.
I do a weak comedy act.
A very strong comedy act.
So text 64046.
If you can add other things to the package like the name, type of song you'd sing, other items of clothing, you know, we want a really good set of ideas for a new, you know, pop look.
Malcolm McLaren used to be brilliant at doing this, right?
He used to come up with the kind of costume and the image before he came up with the star.
Right, he came up with the idea of pirates for Adam and the Ants.
That's right.
Right.
The Burundi drummers and all that stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did he come up with for Bow Wow Wow?
What was that image?
Nakedness.
Just a very young girl naked.
Just nudity.
Yeah.
At a picnic.
And hey, who wouldn't like that?
No, exactly.
That was very nice.
Annabella Lewin, was she called?
Something along those lines.
Yeah, what was her... I mean, that was sort of scandalous at the time, wasn't it?
It was.
She was really young.
It was a reference to Le Dejeuner sur l'herbe par Renoir.
Oh, Renoir.
I love Renoir.
I don't like him so much.
Why don't you like him?
His latest paintings are not very good.
I love all of de Renoir.
Stupid.
They get me excited.
So, oh.
Here's a session track from the Waterboys.
This is called The Hole of the Moon.
I pictured a rainbow
You held it in your hands I had flashes But you saw the plan I wandered out in the world for years While you just stayed in your room I saw the crescent
The whole of the moon You were there in the turnstiles With the wind at your heels You stretched for the stars And you know how it feels To reach too high Too far Too soon You saw the whole of the moon
I was grounded Well, you filled the skies I was dumbfounded by truth You cut through lies I saw the rain, dirty valley You saw brigadines I saw the crescents
And the wind at your heels, you climbed on the ladder And you know how it feels to get too high Too far, too soon, you saw the hope
and cannonballs, alices and spears.
Trumpets, towers and settlements, wide oceans for tears.
Flags, rags, ferry boats, cemeteries and scars.
Every precious dream and vision underneath the stars.
Yes, you can.
You saw the
There we go, the water boys with the whole of the moon.
That's a session track.
That was recorded for Radio One on 21st of June, 1986.
That must presumably have been very soon after they recorded the actual track, because it sounds almost identical, doesn't it?
Yeah, they're very tight.
They know exactly what to play when.
And Joe is speculating that maybe that song is about a moon in competition.
I think it is.
It's about a man and a woman who kind of fall in love via mooning each other.
And at one stage, they're very young and he gets grounded for mooning.
But she moons back and she moves back.
She fills the hole of the sky.
She does.
But first of all, she tries it and she goes too high.
Too fast.
Too soon.
Yeah.
No, no.
You can't see the whole of the moon.
And then when she gets it right, when she's really got the mooning motion right, he's very impressed and he sees the whole of the moon.
He does.
And then it's he falls right in there.
He falls right in love with her.
When was that?
Record it again 86 86.
That's a little comedy routine from 86 there.
Let's send that back in time I'm sure no one else has ever said that before now Adam.
You've got some some fact housekeeping there We'll ever do is housekeeping apologizing to people.
Sorry.
I didn't try hard enough and song was sorry.
I got this wrong Sorry, I got everyone loves you
That's why nobody- You're so human.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, so yeah, obviously wrong about Thomas Dolby.
Sorry, nothing to do with Dolby Laboratories to the extent- And after going on about how many- how much time we spent with him.
Yeah, obviously I forgot everything.
How many great anecdotes.
Maybe he was lying to me.
I'm sure I've got it in- He wouldn't lie.
Far away in my pop box that he said he was.
He doesn't lie.
connected to Dolby.
The Dolby nickname, excuse me, comes from the name Dolby Laboratories, obviously, and it was given to him by school friends due to his seemingly inseparable relationship with his cassette machine.
Dolby Laboratories were reportedly very displeased with Robertson, that's his real name, Thomas Morgan Robertson, because of
the fact that he used the company name as his stage name, they tried to sue him and stop him from using the name Dolby entirely.
Eventually the case was settled out of court and it was agreed that he would refrain from using the word Dolby in any context other than with the name Thomas.
Really?
Yeah.
So Dolby Laboratories would be furious to have someone like me clearly confused about it.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Because then their whole court case just amounts to a hill of buttocks.
I tried to make that different.
You succeeded.
Well done.
Very well done.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, you might feel a little shiver down your spine because it's the top of the hour.
Oh, we've got a, do we call this a sweeper?
Check out the sweeper.
BBC.
On Digital Online BBC6 Music If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear
Preach it out.
You, the more famous person you come through And the sexy lady next to you, you come too And then they hit me, standing outside of heaven Waiting for God to come and get me I'm too uncool, unschooled to the rules And too gumshoe, too much of a newcomer And too uncool, like shadowing the veil I battle with it well, though I need a holiday Like lady who's un-blue Go back whatever you did, you undo Heavy as heaven, the devil owe me two tons too If you are what you say
Superstar Then have no fear The camera's here
Oh yeah And you better wear your shades The spotlights here can burn holes through the stage Down through the basement past the Indian graves Where the dinosaurs lay then Out through China nearly misses airliners Magnified times five, that's what pointed at the rhyme I ricochets off the moon and sets the forest ablaze Now that's important to say Cause even with all that, most of us don't want it to fade
We wanted to break, meaning we wanted to grow, meaning we wanted to stay.
Like the governor called, and he told him to wait.
Unstrapped him from the chair, and put him back in his cage.
The audience ain't fazed, and they ain't going to clap, and they ain't going to praise.
They want everything back that they paid, because they've been waiting since 10 to see the lights get different.
The crowd is here
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
One for you and one for your sister Who had to work tonight but is an avid listener Every song's her favorite song and mics don't feed back All the reviewers say you need to go and see that And everybody claps cause everybody is pleased And then they all take the stage and start performing for me Like ho ho
The cameras here and the microphones And they won't know If you are what you say you are Then how know
You love Lupe Fiasco, don't you?
I like that track a lot.
I think that's been at number one, hasn't it?
Hasn't it?
I think I've lost track of the charts.
Does anyone keep track of the charts?
Are there charts anymore?
No.
No.
Single's dead, mate.
Single's dead.
Everything's killed a single.
Everything's digitally streamed between teenagers.
Man bags?
Well, you know, funnily enough, that's the theme of Song Wars this week, isn't it?
That's true.
What is the theme of Song Wars this week?
I forgot.
It's piracy songs.
There we go.
About net piracy.
Illegal downloading and piracy.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe this is the last Song Wars ever.
Says Adam.
The last one.
Alright?
Ever?
Ever.
Well, for a few weeks at least.
Are you not worried that your anger about Song Wars will be seen as a kind of grumpy reaction to losing?
Which would be, you know, extraordinarily bad sportsmanship.
It would be bad losing to a degree that's never been witnessed by mankind.
Well, you see, the thing is... Losers would be ashamed.
Would they?
We losers would think we don't want this loser with us losers but then I would balance that with all the free time I would have instead because like for example this week how long did it take you to do your song this week?
Let's say four four hours four hours three or four hours really yeah in one session
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
It took me about two and a half days.
Well, yours is probably a lot better than mine though.
Yeah, but they usually do take me about two and a half days.
So when I get emails from people saying you could try harder, do a little better.
You couldn't try.
It's galling because I am trying my tits off.
Okay so let's go through this I need some time back and you know it's just not a good arrangement.
My worry is if we don't have song wars there's just going to be a big void in the show.
I can spend two and a half days preparing some material, reading some newspapers, doing things that radio disc jockeys do.
Well let's see what the listeners have to say about that.
Well, it's not up to the listeners, isn't it?
No, it's not.
This is a public service broadcaster.
This is the BBC.
We're not on some trendy London stupid station anymore.
We're working for the public.
No, no, no.
We're working for the Queen.
Wrong.
You're working for the public.
Prince Philip loves this show.
Does he?
He would be furious.
He'll kill you.
Well, if Prince Philip had voted for me in Song Wars, things might be different.
Anyway, shall we play the jingle?
Get ourselves into this week's Song Wars.
prongs so check it out you know and maybe maybe the fact that last week's toothbrush song was not quite so strong had something to do with the fact that i'd spent all week making jingles what about that that's true you make all the jingles made some very good jingles for the podcast which is currently available on uh the adam and joe page on the six music websites none respect i sent you a nice email saying they were brilliant yeah
OK, so net piracy.
Yeah.
And there's two obvious ways to go, I would think, with a song about net piracy.
What would you think those ways were, Joe?
I don't know.
To make a song about net piracy would be one way to go.
Well, no, musically.
Oh, I see.
Well... I would say the obvious style... Pirate style.
Right, sea shanty.
A shanty style.
Yeah.
Did you go for the sea shanty?
Like a shanty.
Uh-huh.
Yes, exactly like Ashanti.
No, I didn't.
No.
Right.
No.
Now the obvious, the other obvious way of going... See, I think you've won already because you've actually thought about it.
What way did you go?
I just went with kind of a sort of impassioned rock lecture.
Right.
Shall we hear that then?
Alright then, this is maybe, you know, you remember my meatball song?
Yeah, your Bowie stadium rock thing.
Yeah, this is maybe in the same vein as that.
Okay.
Yeah, this doesn't even have a name.
But this is a cautionary song about illegal downloading.
You ready, Ben?
You look worried.
You can do it wrong again.
Give me the nod.
Here's the nod.
Imagine Sting without a house Living on the street Imagine if Led Zeppelin Could not afford to eat
Imagine if the Rolling Stones Had to gnaw on filthy phones That's what might happen If you all keep illegal downloading The foundations of rock and roll Will slowly be eroding
You might get tunes for free But you'll destroy the industry The cops might come looking at your door But you're senseless to the floor Imagine Kate Nash penniless Amy Whitehouse a bruiseless mess Kylie Minogue without a dress Radiohead even more depressed Okay, so those things sound quite cool I haven't really thought this through
But that's what might happen if you don't pay for your tunes.
Do you want to tell the world that it's some kind of stupid hippie commune?
Without functioning economics, we'll no longer have the stereophonics.
Well, damn it, that sounds better, too.
But you get what I'm trying to say to you?
Imagine P. Diddy off on a cruise.
James Blunt, a stinking vagrant The Kaiser Chiefs would choose to pity thieves Picture the Spice Girls, forced to work as Vice Girls And the killers employed as road drillers If that's what you really want, then keep on illegal downloading They'll have to play live just to survive In fact, it's sort of kind of already happening
Bands can't make no money no more without an international stadium tour If you're gonna download then go ahead because recorded music's already dead It's not strictly true that recorded music's already dead but it did rhyme.
Yeah, yeah.
And also you're sort of ignoring some of the other trickier issues about illegal downloading and the
you know, impact that it has on the industry.
Does your song address those things?
Not really, no.
I mean, it is very difficult.
Did you, did you, uh, wring your hands a little bit?
Did you have a little bit of anxiety about, cause it, you know, there are strong arguments both ways, aren't there?
Uh, what, that there are arguments pro illegal downloading?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I would say so, yeah.
Would you say so?
Yeah, definitely.
Does your song posit any of those arguments?
Not really.
We'd better hear your song, man.
Well... What kind of approach have you taken?
You know what, I really tried this week.
I really, really did try.
Because I took the comments of the listeners to heart and I thought, well, it's no good me complaining about things if I really don't put 100% in.
So, you know, didn't have anything better to do this week and shoved all my other tasks to one side and really tried my nuts off.
But still, I'm gonna lose!
How do you know?
Because you've got, like, because my song is insane.
Is it?
I think it's really good.
I'm excited.
It's totally demented.
Because I get lost in the music.
Right.
Do you understand?
I'm like a kind of very, very bad Brian Wilson.
Whereas you're a kind of Richard Stilger.
These are foregone conclusions you're offering.
Let's hear the song and let's make our judgments on the back of the song.
Well, I thought that this was the obvious way to go, would be to use a very familiar piece of music.
To actually kind of illegally violate someone's copyright in the actual song.
And what would be the best piece of music to use?
I don't know.
Well, here we go, have a listen.
I want to have a look at that film today, but I don't think I'm gonna pay.
Cause I'm bad, and I still, I don't care, I don't fail, and I'll take anything you got, and I'll put it in my pocket, yeah.
I still film, I still books, I still thoughts, I still looks, I still kids, well I don't steal kids by might.
That's the mind of a pirate.
Did you hear the hate and greed?
And our beloved entertainment biz is where the dirty pirates feed.
And I don't mean terrorists and their golden compass knock-offs.
I mean you and your downloads.
Oh, I ought to knock your block offs.
How do you think this stuff gets made?
You think artists create it, they don't get...
It's the only reason they do what they do It's not the flippin' work, most of that's poo They depend on the money that you idiots give So they can make more crap, and so they can live The good life, yes, the life of the stars But you're taking their pools and you're taking their cars You bastards!
You better believe it, pal, cause we're evil
Yes, the world is changing I don't like it, but that's the way it is So we've cooked up some statistics that will show you how you're ruining all the finely tuned mechanics of the entity
Possibly.
And even if you're buying other stuff that don't make up for all the phantom profit that you've slayed.
I don't care, cause I'm mental, I'm evil, and I deserve to be locked up.
Cause I'm a Pons, and I smell, and I want to go to hell.
Cause Satan's got free wine by everyone.
which would be ironic oh my god what day is it now what day is it well you know that was uh it's not the longest it is the longest one i've done i think yeah how long was your one oh who are you well i was trying to put the effort in wasn't i that was amazing my bohemian rhapsody that was that was so produced
Yeah, that was great.
I think that was an inspired choice to use the music there from the BBC's insane anti piracy thing you get on the front of all the DVDs and stuff.
That's right, which is very good, but you can't skip through.
It's a nightmare.
And of course, the irony with that is that if you're watching it, it's almost certainly not a pirated copy you're watching.
It's a legitimate copy.
That's the big beef that people have with that.
Anyway so get your votes in immediately folks.
64046 is the text number if you're listening live or if you're listening on the Listen Again or maybe even on the exciting new podcast that's now available from the website.
You can email us adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Right now here is this is is that really how you spell Gary Newman?
No, it's not.
They've spelt it N-E-W like he's a new man.
That's incorrect.
N-U-M-A-N is how you spell Newman.
And I chose this one for you listeners.
Hope you enjoy it.
This is music for chameleons.
We are on a time in our children We've been born with different sides
See you.
The best of the BBC Music Archive, on six, playing legendary Peel sessions and some of the world's greatest concerts.
Gillian Coe delves into the BBC archives, covering over 40 years of live music.
Gideon Coe, Monday night from 10.
BBC 6 Music.
People are now Places I go Make me feel tongue tied And I can see how People look down They're on the inside
Where I see, where you meet Showing my good side Like you see how, paper it down I'm on the outside Here, where the story ends
It's that little souvenir of a terrible year, which makes my eyes feel sore.
Oh, I'd never see this land, no such event for all.
There's that little souvenir of a terrible new year Which makes me wonder why There's the memories in your shed That make me turn red So close, so close, so close Lazy and loud, place is a girl Make me feel so tired
You can see how people look down on the outside The hits are where the story ends The hits are where the story ends
It's that little souvenir of a terrible year Just makes my eyes feel sore And whoever would've thought the most you want For all I've loved before Oh, the devil made me sad Go down to the shed, I know where I've been
I never really wanted to say what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong It's that little souvenir of a California which makes me smile inside So I said okay, said okay, said well in that way, surprise, surprise
There we go, a little bit of winsome lady pop for you.
That was the Sundays with That's Where the Story Goes.
Here's Where the Story Goes.
Is that what it's called?
Here's Where the Story Ends.
Yeah, by the Sundays.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Yeah, the show where we get as many facts wrong as possible in a three hour period.
The names of songs, the names of artists, the names of paintings and who they were painted by.
It's all wrong.
This is what you get if you hire people from television to do a radio show.
You know we don't care.
We're just hopped up on booze the whole time.
You're a disgrace.
The other thing is we do it on purpose because that gives you at home a chance to feel clever.
Exactly.
You can correct us and you feel, you know, good about yourselves if we got everything right.
How would you feel about yourself?
We wouldn't want you to feel inferior.
Exactly, we wouldn't want you to feel inferior.
It's good to feel slightly superior to people on the radio and to think they're not very good.
Exactly.
Because then you can email complaints and stuff.
All kinds of DJs.
Everyone loves complaining to her.
That's why it exists.
People love complaining.
Yeah, it's just to vent everyone's angry fingertips.
It's a big complaints clearing house.
Here's an email from Gary Williams about the Morrissey gig last night.
Now, continuing on the theme of being factually inadequate, we're not sure quite what this gig was an aid of, but it was at the Roundhouse.
Anyway, the email says, hi Adam and Joe, I'm surprised there hasn't been any mention of what happened at the Morrissey gig at the Roundhouse last night.
Oh my Lord.
That said, I did miss the first few minutes of your show, so apologies if you covered it already.
No, Gary, we didn't.
Basically, Gary's email says, Moz was three songs into his set and there was the occasional croak.
as he struggled with notes.
At the end of the song, Moz says, you see, steroids, injections, antibiotics, no good.
Before launching into the next song, I just want to see the boy happy, which he simply could not sing.
It was quite painful and worrying to watch.
He kept on trying and then walked off mid-song, with the band finishing the song, then walking off themselves.
lights stay down.
But obviously the audience are probably all thinking pretty much the same thing.
The minutes pass with the crowd occasionally singing more is no more is see more I'm not reading that correctly am I Morrissey Morrissey he's written in a confusing way and it was over the end of the line.
Because they want to see more.
Is that what you were thinking?
Yeah, yeah.
More.
Is.
See.
We want to see more.
We want to see more.
Quarter of an hour later, Russell Brand, Jonathan Russ and David Williams, Williams, he's written it, Williamson, walk on stage looking really bloody nervous, it must be said.
Brand grabs the mic and basically says, we all love Morrissey.
Audience, boo.
Brand, no, no, we all love Morrissey and he's sick.
So he can't come back on tonight.
Audience, boo.
At this point Jonathan Ross takes a mic and says, listen to him pointing at Walliams note and says, what?
This email makes no sense.
Basically threatens that Walliams is going to sing the I'm a lady song for half an hour.
Then Bran tells us all we'll get the chance to see Moz somehow.
Something will be arranged and that's it.
The gig ends.
Whoa.
What were they doing there?
Did Morrissey just have Russell Brand, Jonathan Ross and Walliams in the wings?
I don't know.
Was it some kind of BBC event then?
Maybe.
Must have been.
They're all BBC names.
Well Jonathan Ross has Morrissey on his show next week.
Does he?
And obviously Jonathan's show was on last night when Jonathan was at the gig.
Jonathan tapes his show on a Thursday I think.
Right.
So obviously Jonathan had no idea about it.
His TV show?
Yes, yes.
Wow, I wonder what's gonna happen poor old Morrissey.
That's no good is if you're losing your voice presumably That's just a temporary thing though.
It's nothing career threat steroids injections and antibiotics Yeah, but you know if if you've got a cold and you're doing a gig and stuff like that Then that's what they give you that kind of thing steroids a little bit steroids really fix up your voice make it seem like that
I don't know.
I don't know what pop stars do, but there's all kinds of things.
I did a gig, a standup gig just on Monday and I wasn't used to it.
And I lost my voice pretty much by the end of a 10 minute set.
You struggled through, I struggled through, but that's just one little gig in the middle of nowhere.
Imagine if you're a singer, you have to do it every single night anyway.
So, well, speedy recovery.
I wish you well, Morrissey.
And, um, here's some Kanicki for you right now.
We're just talking, we're dancing
If you want to have a new life
Fantastic.
Nicky, we've come out tonight.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
It's time now for the news at 10.30.
On digital radio and online, BBC 6 Music.
Four shootings, one murder, England's Friday night of crime, Northern Rock blame game begins and goodbye from Gilchrist.
And in 6 Music news, Morrissey walks off, Sony BMG goes USB and we hear from Dawn Landis.
6 Music.
For BBC News at 10.30, I'm Nicky Cardwell.
Four men have been injured in two separate shootings overnight.
One pair are being treated for gunshot wounds after they were attacked in Nottingham, while the other men were taken to hospital after a street shooting in Preston.
And a young man's been murdered in West London.
Police say the youth, who's believed to have been 19, was found with serious injuries in a park in West Ealing in the early hours of this morning.
He died later in hospital.
A systematic failure of duty, bank bosses are under fire for failing to spot trouble on the horizon at Northern Rock.
MPs are accusing the city watchdog of failing to recognise the bank's reckless business plan.
The Lib Dems Treasury spokesman Vince Cable says Northern Rock was reckless but the regulators were negligent.
I think the problem was not one of structure, it was one of attitude.
That the people who were overseeing the regulators, the people looking after the banks on our behalf, were just far too indulgent.
And banks were just allowed, not just Northern Rock, were allowed to behave in a thoroughly reckless manner.
The energy market isn't competitive enough and consumers are paying too much.
The consumer energy watchdog Energy Watch says recent price rises of up to 15% simply can't be justified.
The personal details of more than a thousand students in Scotland have gone missing in the post.
The Scottish Funding Council has apologised after five boxes of surveys disappeared.
Firefighters are still trying to work out what caused a blaze at one of the biggest casinos in Las Vegas.
Flames damaged the top floors of the Monte Carlo, which has 3,000 rooms.
Six Music Sport and the FA Cup fourth round sees the David and Goliath match of Havant and Waterlooville taking on Liverpool at Anfield.
Michael McHenry plays for the part-timers.
He says he's going to enjoy every minute.
When is this ever going to happen again?
I don't think it will, to be honest.
Enjoy while it lasts.
And after breaking the world record for Test wickets taken by a wicket keeper, Aussie Adam Gilchrist has announced his retirement from cricket.
Now, with six music news, here's Adrian Larkin.
Six music news.
Well, not the greatest of fans of Morrissey last night, as you've just heard Adam and Joe saying the singer had to cut short his performance at the London Roundhouse after just three songs because he had a dodgy throat.
He walks off and the show was cancelled in the end.
That means the gig tonight at the same venue has been thrown into doubt.
We'll keep you posted on that one.
In other Six Music news, Sony BMG is going to launch its first commercial USB release, Scream Air Fire, which is by Bullet For My Valentine, comes out on Monday.
Tickets for this year's Rock Nest Festival have just gone on sale.
The Bash in Scotland will see headline slots from Fatboy Slim and Razorlight as well.
And finally, New Yorker Dawn Landers is out and about touring in the UK right now.
She played the Water Rats in London last night and popped by the Six Music Studios to give us a lowdown on the new single Bodyguard.
I had a premonition and a dream that I was gonna be robbed and it happened.
I wrote the song right after it did happen and I lost an entire album that had it all on my laptop and my hard drive and that was all stolen so it was like the first song I wrote for this record that was just like, alright, here we go.
That's 6 Music News, your next bulletins at 11.30.
On the Music Week this week, in the wake of Amy Winehouse's latest exposé, The Sun's Gordon Smart joins us as we debate whether the tabloids are hounding our musicians to death, and we look back at Morris' week at the Roundhouse.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from Yonge.
You can really move at all You have to vault and change You have to get right out of it Out of all this mess You'll say yeah to anything
No tears, party time is here again President Gasses are for President
He wants you and I It's a real cowboy sin to electric company Everyday in happy days it's hell without the sin
Now tears, body time is here again President Gass is off for President Light up, put your kisses down Say yeah, say yes again Stand up, there's a head count President Gass on everything but roller skates Sick sick, the price is high
Check that you're asleep again, President Gaston
That was the psychedelic furs with President GAS!
Yes, Text the Nation this week is all about what kind of sort of physical visual trademark you'd come up with if you were launching yourself as a new kind of a rock act.
We've had one or two reminders of some existing ones.
This is from a guy called Wildo or Wildo?
I'm not sure.
W-I-L-D-O.
Wildo, I would say.
Wildo, yeah.
So as not to rhyme with the other word.
When Weezer became successful, Rivers Cuomo had a leg surgically lengthened because it was shorter than his other one.
Really?
This is according to Wildo.
If I was a rock star, I'd like to have one of my normal legs lengthened.
Then I would perform on a sloping stage and remain stable compared to my other bandmates.
And I could sell branded orthopedic shoes from the merchandise store.
Like Marilyn Manson.
Does he do that?
Well, you know, he wears kind of... Does she do that?
Does it do whatever it is?
He wears kind of orthopedic shoes and stuff, doesn't he?
And calipers and all... He makes himself look grotesque, that man!
There's no wardrobe rules.
No?
He'll wear anything.
Oh, he does have... He's got strict wardrobe rules.
Does he?
Oh, yes.
He wouldn't wear anything nice.
There you go.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes.
He wouldn't wear anything from the Gap.
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm.
We're reminded.
That's right.
Gabrielle.
He was famous.
He was famous before his accident, though.
Right.
So he had to make do with.
But you know, it was obviously terrible for him in some respects, but also increased his fame in other respects.
Do you think, you know, as a silver lining to every cloud?
People were impressed by the fact that he overcame adversity in that way.
Absolutely.
Amazing drummer.
Is Gabrielle's sleepy pirate eye considered a natural showbiz enhancement?
I thought that was purely an affectation.
No, I think there's a reason.
She was on this morning the other day.
Claire is nodding.
Our producer lady.
Right.
Yeah, there's something going on there.
She's got a doctor's note.
It's not just for fun.
Yeah, she does have a medical note for that.
So there are some real ones, apart from Wildo's long leg, that wasn't real.
Here are some more not real ones.
Andrew in Newmarket.
On one side of my face I'd have a beard but no moustache, and on the other side I'd have a moustache but no beard.
That's good, that's good.
That's quite good isn't it?
Well you know last week we played a song by Peter Hamill from Van de Graaff Generator and I said on the cover of his album
you can see him on the future now with one side of his heavily bearded face shaved and the other side not.
Well that's a sort of famous mime artist's trick to kind of draw a line down the middle of your nose and then have one character on one side and then you turn to the right and left don't you offer opposing profiles.
That's a good idea, Andrew.
Here's another good one from Ben Douglas, who says, I would have a continuously bleeding nose and would sing aggressive Britpop.
That's a good idea.
I mean, distressing.
And you'd have to how would you do that?
You'd have to have some kind of pipe implanted.
Couldn't be real blood.
Otherwise you'd you'd faint or it would just be horrible and filthy and disease spreading.
You'd have to be fake blood.
You'd have to after each gig you'd have to have like a medical team standing by to give you infusions.
Well this is if it was real blood.
Yeah.
I'd go for the fake blood.
Well if it was fake would people buy into that?
It's exciting though because when he sang a really powerful lyric it would sort of gush.
That reminds me of Andrew WK.
Do you remember him?
Right.
He like he was on the cover of his album with his nose all bloody wasn't he.
And I always just thought that was his thing is every time I saw a picture of him in the paper at a gig or whatever he seemed constantly to be bleeding.
Yeah.
Our old school friend Omar Fadley used to say that the hallmark of a really good heavy metal gig was if his ears bled.
Right.
Yeah.
So that's in that kind of vein I suppose.
A bit of bleeding.
Matt in Bristol
Uh, oh no.
Hang on.
Sorry, Matt and Bristol.
I put a star by yours by mistake, because actually it's not good enough to read.
Sorry about that.
No, hang on.
Maybe it is.
If I was a pop star, I would always wear Jesus sandals to show off my freaky half a toe.
So the thing about that is Matt saying that, look, I've got this freaky half a toe.
Yeah.
If I became a star, a thing that I usually conceal and I'm slightly anxious about,
I'd go the opposite way, I would trumpet it.
Absolutely.
You know, I'd make it my absolute, the key to my character.
That's the way to go, isn't it?
That's what pop's like.
Yeah, turn it, use it to your advantage.
That's what pop does.
You start off, you get a physical affliction, it makes you feel like an outsider, you use that, that's your strength.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That's the idea.
And here's one from Aidan.
I don't know about half a toe then.
Why not?
I think it's good.
I don't know how much strength you can get from that.
Here's Aidan who says I'd have a 70s glam guitar like Dave's from Slade but it would be surgically attached to my tummy.
My fans would yell play another riff from that grotesque belly tar of yours.
A belly tar.
I also fancy sport in an eye patch.
Well one thing at a time Aidan.
Another thing would be called, you could call it a guttar.
I like the idea because if you've got an innie belly button, that's like the echo chamber from a guitar.
So you just put some tiny little strings across it, have them surgically
Hey listen if you've got an out belly button though it looks like the cone in the middle of a speaker.
That's true or a dial.
Right you could have your whole stomach turned into an amp.
Yeah and the out belly button could be a dial.
A couple more.
Go on then.
Here's one from Maz in Maudsley.
Isn't that a mental institution?
Yeah, but it's probably also a place.
I'd go down the Anne Boleyn route and have an extra finger attached so I could add an impossibly complex synth harmony to my gangster green sleeves rap.
I like the idea of an extra finger because if you hold the microphone like Tony Hadley used to, the little finger goes up in the air.
Imagine if there was a second little finger, it was very long.
You know, people wouldn't miss that.
That would be scary.
Like Mutia as well, she holds her mic like that.
A lot of R&B ladies favour that with the pinky sticking up at the end.
I don't like it.
And sometimes they tap the mic.
Some people sip their tea with that little finger.
It's disgusting.
Keep them coming in.
Your ideas for innovative physical trademarks were you to be a rock star.
The text number is 64046.
Now here's a confusing track from Los Campesinos and it's called Death to Los Campesinos.
What are they all about?
Let's find out.
Broken down like a war economy Father Fuhrer, don't be mad at me Peasant child, you're into botany Splitting necks and calling if I can't submit Beware, a sign on the door suggests I'm better off with artificial intelligence I invented you I invented you And I will destroy you If you catch me with my hands in the till I promise, sugar, I wasn't trying to steal I'm just swimming in carpet Smell and pretend like a robot
What if a leopard doesn't change his spots?
You can't change my perceptions from dots to dots I swap the bruising for a bumping sensation I'll be controlled after leeching your face with no reservations And what's that fighting, what's your circuit force igniting?
Singing I'm not finished, I'm not finished!
Star of the school things can be quite misleading Friction's got some metal made it look like leading If you've had me with my hands in the till I promise, sugar, I wasn't trying To stand up, to swim in, kick off, or to smell and pretend like a robot
I promise you that I wasn't trying to steal I'm just swimming in carpet just let them pretend like a pro ball You keep catching me with my arms in the tail I promise you that I wasn't trying to steal I'm just swimming in carpet just let them pretend
There you go.
That's Los Campesinos with death to Los Campesinos.
That was an enjoyable racket, wasn't it?
And that is their new single, which is out on the 18th of February, I believe.
Yes.
So go out and buy it, kids.
OK.
That means you.
Are we doing Texanation stuff now?
No not yet.
I think we'll have a bit more music.
Come back to it in a second once we've gathered some more.
A little rest.
Yeah a little rest.
Who's your favourite member of the cabinet at the moment?
Oh I love the cabinet.
To me they're kind of like a great football team or you know the cast of Star Wars.
I wish they'd produce action figures.
I'd have little debates and games.
That's a good idea.
Why don't they produce action figures of the cabinet?
Because they change all the time.
They do action figures of almost everything else though, don't they?
Go into Forbidden Planet these days.
I tell you who's my least favorite member of the cabinet.
Who?
The one that's like, um, the one that, the one that does all the airports.
No, she's a, she's a woman and she went to our school.
I've forgotten her name.
Oh, Ruth Kelly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's a bit duplicitous, isn't she?
She looks like her.
a little fat boy out of the beano.
Well, they all look a little odd.
I was looking at a photograph of Miliband the other day, David Miliband, ex-environment secretary and now the foreign secretary.
And look, there he is.
I'm showing you a picture, Joe Cornish, and he's got a real... Miliband.
He's got a little helmet haircut.
Yeah, what's wrong with him?
And don't you think that he looks a little bit like Hilary Swank?
Don't you reckon?
Like dressed up as a man.
Yeah.
Doing her boys don't cry thing.
He looks evil.
He's crazy looking though, isn't he?
He looks like a boy.
I mean, he looks like a sort of 18 year old.
Yeah.
Tranny man.
Anyway, I was, um, I was impressed with the, uh, I always forget that the name of the, uh, it's like a detective series tranny man.
Like the man from Atlantis.
Yeah.
But his detective powers just stretched her wearing women's clothes.
Yeah, picking a tranny.
That's a good idea for David Walliams on ITV1.
Tranny man.
Yeah, I always forget that the Education Secretary or the Schools Secretary is called Ed Balls.
yeah that's unfortunate isn't it but you know it's not good if you're in the government is it i was thinking he's good though actually he's quite good on telly and stuff he speaks well he doesn't talk right he doesn't know having that name's probably led him to cultivate you know quite a confidence in life yeah yeah is there an entertainment secretary uh i don't know there's a there's a culture secretary isn't that james parnell right right that would be the same wouldn't it he could be called robbie rubbish
I'm just thinking of variations on Ed Balls for the cabinet.
Yes.
Health Secretary Colin Crap.
oh well it's just a thought hey here's a free play from me i saw um i've seen it a couple of times actually david fincher's new film it's not really new it was out last year zodiac oh yeah zodiac yeah it's good zodiac's a masterpiece it's really good really scary um it's very long if you haven't seen it rent it out and see it and i watched it in two sections yeah put put aside a good uh you know uninterrupted session to watch it it's really good one of the things i particularly liked about it was to see killings
uh done like they used to be in the old days you know without loud shock sound effects without flashy cuts like a good proper scary atmospheric well it's set in the 70s isn't it and he it is and and everything about it is uh late 60s uh to early 70s that's when the zodiac killer was operating he made his first kill on my birthday in fact
Nice man.
Day of my birth.
Or so you always remember.
Lovely way to celebrate.
That's nice.
Yeah but this is a track that Fincher uses over the very beginning of the song and he uses fantastic music, 60s and 70s music during the film.
He uses Herdy Gerdy Man by Donovan.
And makes it sound utterly sinister and that's the deal with the way he's used the music.
Lots of kind of quite positive songs but in this context that's suddenly become
you know weirdly creepy and evoke that creepiness about the sixties that kind of Manson-esque terror you know the terrific freedom obviously culturally was being espoused but at the same time moral decay that people were too free things were getting out of control this is a song I think was that was originally from the hair from hair the musical and I'm not sure what context well that was the beginning of the end for a start running around naked on stage is a total disgrace this is over the very beginning of zodiac this is three dog night with easy to be hard
How can people be so honest?
How can people be so cruel?
To be hard, easy to become How can people have no feelings?
How can they ignore their friends?
social injustice?
Do you only care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needed friend?
I need a friend.
How can people be so heartless?
You know I'm hung up on you easy to deprive.
Do you care about evil, social injustice?
Do you only care about the bleeding crowd?
All about a needed friend, a needed friend How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel, easy?
ooh creepy that's a good that's sort of out of character for that band as well
isn't it?
I don't really know much about them.
Three Dog Night they did Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
Do you remember that one?
No, yeah vaguely, vaguely no.
I don't.
That was pretty upbeat.
That was good, easy to be hard by Three Dog Night.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 music.
Now folks, we've got an exciting trail for you because Alan Carr, I always think of the smoking, the quit smoking guy who died.
You know, he's the Alan Carr.
I've only got space for one Alan Carr in my brain.
make new space because there's a new Alan Carr in town and he's sitting in for Stephen Merchant tomorrow.
Here's a trail that details that situation in greater details.
BBC Six Music.
This Sunday on Six Music.
Hello everyone.
Yes, it's me.
Alan Carr.
Goldfrapp.
Oh, I love Goldfrapp.
You know that first album where she sounds like she's on a tip with a seagull?
She's not doing that anymore.
I can't talk about your hormones on me.
This is a young... This is a young audience.
They don't hear about the menopause.
Not on the Sabbath.
Alan Carr in for Stephen Merchant.
And if you want to text me or ring in or... No, even... No, don't.
I don't want to speak to you.
Tomorrow from Three.
I've got to remind everyone, this is six music.
Just in case you're thinking, what the hell is this?
Six music.
Stick your soul, lads, you stick your soul like in the... Larry made his nest up in the autumn branches Built from nothing but high hopes and thin air Collected up some baby-blasted mothers, they took their chances And for a while they lived quite happily up there They came from New York City, man, but he couldn't take the pace Thought it was like a dog-eat-dog world
Then he went to San Francisco, spent a year in outer space With a sweet little San Franciscan girl I can hear my mother wailing and a whole lot of scraping of chairs I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something going on upstairs Lives must be yours, lives must be yours, lives must be yours
Larry made up names for the ladies Like Miss Boo and Miss Quick He stuck piled weapons and took punch shots in the air He feasted on their lovely bodies like a lunatic And wrapped himself up in their soft yellow hair I can hear chants and incantations And some guy is mentioning me in his prayers
Goin' on upstairs
San Francisco, LA, I don't know But Larry grew increasingly neurotic and obscene I mean, he never asked to be raised up from a tomb I mean, no one ever actually asked him to forsake his dreams He ended up like so many of them do Back in the streets in New York City in a soup cube
A dope fiend, a slave, then prison, then the madhouse, then the grave.
Oh, poor Larry.
But what do we really know of the dead?
And who actually cares?
Is that new cave or old cave?
Cave experts, any cavemen here?
No, no one knows.
Now we're going to have furious cavemen emailing in and saying how dare you not know.
That was Dig Lazarus Dig, Dig Lazarus Dig by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.
And this is Adam and Joe here on Six Music.
Over to you, Joe.
Thanks a lot.
Let's do a few more texts that we've had in from Text the Nation.
This week's theme is what kind of physical copyright thing, you know, eccentric facet would you have if you were a pop star?
So, here we go.
Here's one from Andy.
He says, I have a small extra bit of skin on the outside of my ear, about half the size of a 1p.
Isn't that normal?
Everyone's got one of those.
What, the lobe?
Hang on, whereabouts?
Take these headphones off.
On the outside of my ear, whereabouts?
Where do you think the normal bit is?
Well there, that's your earlobe.
That's the lobe.
Yeah.
You need to be more specific about where on your ear it is, please Andy, if you're still listening.
He's saying my hair could be flicked over my ear for video shoots.
What's even cooler is my daughter has the same feature so a dynasty of extra ear bit stars are born.
I wonder if he's saying he's just got big ears.
No he's got some sort of extra bit.
We're worried about that Andy because we think that human beings generally don't know precisely what's in their ears or on them.
Yeah.
There's all sorts of flaps of skin going on there.
Well ears are one of those things that can vary hugely from one person to another.
Just might not stand out enough.
and also it's not one of those things unless you've got absolutely nutty ears you know it's not one of those things you really notice until you actually study them and then you think look at that person's got very small ears.
But I tell you what I like the idea of a damaged ear like like Corey Haim Feldman Corey Feldman in stand by me you know a burnt ear.
Did he have a damaged ear?
Yeah, that's the thing in that film.
They do reference it, but you kind of notice it without anybody saying it at the beginning.
But that's a... His dad slammed his head onto the cooker or something hideous in the narrative.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
The actor doesn't have a really damaged ear, does he?
No, he's fine.
He's just got a damaged... Like a shredded ear.
That would be quite good, wouldn't it?
A shredded ear.
You know, a little bit shreddy?
Yeah.
Do you think?
well maybe not there's something wrong for a pop star to have a damaged ear though because you know it's all about music and sound yeah but brian wilson he was deaf in one ear after his dad walloped him yeah there you go beethoven of course this is one of my favorite ones from steve in london he says how about gills
gills is good yeah gills is very good kind of a fish man well a webbed webbed hands you know some people do have slightly webbed fingers webbed feet are common i wished that i had webbed hands when i was younger yeah because there was a program called the man from atlantis on when i was uh totty and i just thought that would be the coolest way whenever i was swimming i used to swim like the man from atlantis uh you know in a sort of mad
you keep your arms down beside by your sides and you just wobble about like an eel and you sink you sink but Patrick Duffy was able to do it and you know propel himself through the water at terrific speed and also he had webbed hands and he was very ashamed of his webbed fingers but I just thought no Patrick Duffy you're lucky to have the webbed hands that would be good though gills would be great you could you could sing underwater in a massive tank yeah Gil Scott Heron yeah well done
And somebody called Brother Mark, maybe he's a monk, I don't know.
He says, I would stick a post-it on my breast pocket with little reminders like, buy marmalade, play Brixton, or call Jane back.
And that's like Prince writing slave on his head, right?
Yeah, but a sort of more bureaucratic version thereof.
I think that's a good idea.
What about the Young Knives?
They pretty much do that kind of thing.
Do they do that?
I mean they all dress up like middle management.
But this is very specific and it would be, wow, what's brother Mark got on his post-it today?
Yeah.
You know, or for this interview or this concert.
Right.
It would be good.
A bit like chap from Coldplay writing on his hand and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Make trade free and all that stuff.
A bit like that but it would change and be weirder.
Yeah.
I think that's a very good idea.
Keep them coming in, text 64046, please?
But right now, ladies and gentlemen, this is a band that was featured in that BBC 4 sexuality documentary, Sexuality and Pop.
And he just hasn't aged this guy, Bronski Beat.
I'm talking about the lead singer.
What was his name again?
Jimmy Somerville.
Yeah, yeah.
He is not aged.
He don't have no hair though, do he?
No.
And having no hair is really good for looking young.
Yeah.
Like Joe Jackson as well.
Yeah.
He's got a similar sort of baldy scalp.
Being bald, it takes years off you.
That's right.
Yeah.
If you're receding, take it all off.
yeah and you'll be like a little space baby well he looks fantastic and here he is in good voice with small town boy
Kasperonski beat with Small Town Boy.
Was that even their first hit?
I think it possibly may have been, yes, a very important record.
Well, yeah, he was the sort of, pretty much one of the first openly gay pop stars, you know what I mean?
Who wasn't sort of pussyfooting around the whole notion and, you know, there's a lot of pop stars where you're pretty sure they're gay and there's a lot of stuff implied in their songs, but he was addressing all lots of gay issues completely head on.
And that was quite a depressing track, I remember.
It spoke to not just gay people, but yeah, mournful.
It spoke to the feelings of isolation you get as a teenager anyway.
It particularly spoke to people about how boring it was travelling through the suburbs on trains.
Yeah, he was looking out the window, wasn't he?
And it was a sort of depressing image.
And then he got shunned by the guy in the changing room there.
yeah it's all together very depressing uh this is bbc6 music always uh keen to bring you down on a saturday morning did you know uh did you read this thing about joss stone doing the flake advert no she is the new face of cadbury's flake really yeah which is um what on what level do you think they've employed her nutty woman well but you would think that that
That would be the thing, wouldn't it?
Like, literally.
You know, I think she'd be better suited to advertise a product that actually has nuts in it.
Because then you could really capitalize on the fact that she is nutty.
We should say that kind of the, I don't know whether it's true, but the myth was always that the woman who was in the flake advert, the old flake advert in the bath, had a terrible nervous breakdown.
Nervy B. Really?
And ended up being nutty.
There were many flake women though, weren't there many flakes?
Yeah, but the one in the bath.
They're all flaky.
Shoving it in her gob.
Because I wouldn't characterise Joss Stone as being flaky so much as nutty.
Do you know what I mean?
Eccentric, kooky.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Free-spirited.
I do think she'd be better for snickers.
Doesn't wear shoes.
Because what kind of advert would she be doing for flake?
I wonder would she be doing the whole sexy fellatio thing with it?
Probably.
In which case is that good?
I don't know.
Fancy a bit of stone?
Look, there she is.
There's a slice of stone.
Well, I'm very keen on the man who produces her music.
A musician called Raphael Sadiq, who's a brilliant kind of soul musician.
But then he went and I think had an affair with her.
Oh did he?
Well there were rumours and also produced her last album that was a bit of a kind of a floppo.
She's absolutely, she's furious in this article from The Independent on Sunday.
She's absolutely furious about the fact that she was vilified for turning up at the Brits and having an American accent.
That's right.
You know, she said well what do you want my accent changes.
You know I made my album with a bunch of Americans when people go to Australia for two weeks they come back sounding Australian.
That's a bit rich isn't it?
Do they?
I mean you know just because maybe people they sort of do the accent thing at the end you know they kind of talk a bit like that it goes up at the end a little bit.
That's nothing to be proud of.
Everybody talks like that now anyway she's upset about it and she's saying people have just said well F you in England and you know you know what we just decided we don't like you anymore it's so unfair and so she thinks that if she advertises flake
That's gonna bring it round for her.
Yeah, maybe you know and she thinks it's a blow for woman for women as well She's saying come on girls.
You know you want a bit of chocolate it tastes good It makes you feel good, and then she says at the end obviously don't be a fat BS because then you'll Then you'll be more depressed.
It's a fat BS a bestard.
Okay.
That's not a BS is it?
No, I don't know
It's confusing times for Joss Stone and for Flake Eaters.
Best to void them both I'd say.
Absolutely.
Now here's a track that I picked for you listeners.
This is from Richard Hell and the Voidoids and this is from their album which I think is just called Richard Hell and the Voidoids maybe and it's called I'm Your Man.
It's so good that you get it from my hand.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
It's so good that there's a way in.
I'm your man.
I'm your man.
You know them for age ten, what they can do babe, what they did for themselves, I'll do for you.
It's so good that, oh no yeah, I'm your man.
Yes I am, I'm your man, I'm your man babe.
I said, time I can't wait.
You're glad that I do, babe What you say to me proves I'm more romantic than you You're so good, Dad You're so glad that I'm
and the day
Well, talk about me, babe.
What do you see?
Before you talk, I'm gonna get down on my knees.
It's so good that you get it from my hand.
I'm your man, baby.
I'm your man.
BBC6 music.
If you didn't watch Wednesday night's Wonderland about the man who eats badgers and other strange tales from Bodmin Moor, you didn't miss this.
This is my freezer.
All full of badger and lovely things.
And you certainly didn't miss this.
Here's a rabbit.
This is an otter.
Very nutritious.
You didn't miss out because BBC iPlayer lets you watch programmes from the last seven days on your computer.
BBC iPlayer.
Making the unmissable, unmissable.
Go to bbc.co.uk slash iPlayer.
BBC.
Six.
Music.
Classic BBC session track.
It's true
Here comes the breeze Here comes the breeze Here comes the breeze
Yeah.
That was a session track there.
Simeon playing L.A.
Breeze.
Recorded for Six Music on the 17th of June, 2003.
I can't even believe that Six Music was going in 2003, it seems such a long time ago.
Do you know what I mean?
I know what you mean.
Movie news!
Oh yeah?
Can I give you some movie news?
I love movie news.
Now, do you remember a film called The Blair Witch Project?
Remind me?
It was a kind of spooky film about a group of annoying kids that went into the woods in America to look for an ancient house where a witch lived.
It was all handheld.
That was the beginning of it.
You do remember The Blair Witch Project.
Of course I do.
It was real.
It was all real.
It was real.
I loved that film.
It was a film that divided people.
It depended on the circumstances under which you saw it.
I was given it months, months, years even before release because it went around quite a lot.
You were given it before it was made.
Yeah, that's true.
You made it.
On a VHS cassette basically.
A friend of mine gave me a pirate on a VHS cassette before I'd heard anything about it.
I thought it was real.
Did you really?
I remember you told me at the time this is going to blow your mind, it seems absolutely real.
I just couldn't believe what you were on about.
Well they do divide people films like that.
You either buy it or you kind of don't and if you don't it's a hideous nightmare.
Anyway the point of that is that when Blair Witch came out everybody thought wow all movies are going to be like this now.
Because I think it's the highest grossing film of all time in terms of the amount it costs compared to the amount it made, the amount of profit.
It remains, I think, the highest grossing film of all time.
Really?
So the most profitable film.
The most profitable film, yeah.
Everyone thought it was going to change the film industry.
They'd throw out the rules.
There'd be no more tripods or setups or crews.
You know, anybody could make a film with a camcorder.
Exactly.
It wasn't true.
Nothing happened.
When was Blair Witch, 97, 98?
Something like that.
That sort of period.
So a good ten years later, another film's come along that uses the same technique.
Ooh.
Have you heard about it?
It's called Cloverfield.
Oh.
All the internet geeks and web nerds are going crazy about it.
They have been all summer.
because there was a very kind of a mysterious trailer attached to the beginning of Transformers.
This is a movie that's basically like a Godzilla film only it's shown from the point of view of a guy with a camcorder a kind of yuppie who's having a party for a friend called Rob because Rob's leaving for Japan and he's getting everyone to give messages for Rob on the camcorder
And Rob's just broken up with Beth.
Beth, he's known Beth since he was a kid and he just slept with her for the first time and now she's furious.
They've broken up and they're having a party and we've got the tape of the party and then suddenly a massive earthquake.
Is it an earthquake?
Is it a terrorist attack?
No, it's a big monster.
And it's squashing all Manhattan and marching through the city and stuff.
And Rob's friend, Hud, he's got the video camera.
He runs out into the street and the... I'm not giving anything away.
This is all in the trailer.
You've seen the film, right?
Yeah.
The Statue of Liberty's head comes bouncing down the street like a bouncy ball.
What's going on?
And they have to save Beth because she's trapped in an apartment with a bit of metal through one of her boobs.
It's a frightful business.
Nobody likes that.
Anyway, everyone here is exciting.
I went to see it at the cinema.
I don't want to give too much away.
So it's kind of a blockbuster on a macro level.
It's a macro-buster.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Exactly, which is quite an interesting idea.
It's like the remake of Godzilla that everybody hated, but I secretly quite liked.
You loved it.
As if someone was just covering it from ground level with a camcorder.
It's made lots of money in America.
And is it satisfying?
Is it a good watch?
Nope.
No.
Why would it be?
Again, it's going to divide people.
Loads of people love it.
Here's what I imagine the problem with that would be, right?
At some point you're going to be reliant on shots that are absolutely obviously CG.
Correct.
And with just a little filter over the top to make it look like video.
And that kind of thing is just rubbish.
Well this is where it kind of for me went wrong and again it's not out in this country as I don't want to make a mess of your expectations but you know it's a good thing to lower your expectations for anything because you can only be pleasantly surprised.
Right.
But especially people like Adam and I we used to make telly and still work a lot with camcorders so what so you know we know what what the reality is and most people now know what the reality is.
Yeah.
Of a camcorder.
Looking through a viewfinder.
They don't.
First of all it's the highest quality
camcorder I've ever seen in my life.
It's really good.
It must be higher than 1080p.
Secondly, all sorts of things don't make sense.
For instance, at one stage one of the characters' brother is killed by the monster.
He calls his mum to tell her.
His mate films it.
There's Rob telling his mum that his brother's dead.
Capture that.
Watch that in the future.
That'll be nice.
And then they all, at one stage the whole monster thing gets too much for them so Rob just goes into a quiet corner on the subway and sobs on a bench.
Hud films that as well.
There's Rob sobbing about the monster.
I'll just frame him to the extreme right of the frame.
So it's not absolutely obvious that I'm filming him because I wouldn't want to make him self-conscious.
At the very end... I can't really tell you about the very end because it's too bad.
But it really didn't work for me.
It never works that kind of thing because it's very hard to get... Millions love it.
People love that they're going crazy about this film.
People were coming out of the cinema.
Do you ever get that?
You're coming out of something, you're in a crowd.
Yes.
You really weren't impressed by it and people around you were just going, oh it was incredible, that's amazing, I've seen my own blank, I nearly wet myself.
Yeah, I'm getting that with Battlestar Galactica at the moment.
A lot of my friends just say it's the best thing ever made.
And especially as I was a big fan of The Wire and there was a big void left in my life when when I watched all the available episodes, The Wire went on to Battlestar Galactica.
I don't like it on Battlestar Galactica.
it's fracking rubbish fracking rubbish yeah and they have a whole episode where like a member of the media comes on the ship and does a whole sort of expose of what it's like on the Battlestar and she her crew just films all these arguments and terrible things that are going on in a way that would of course never
camcorder style yeah exactly well you know there's two other camcorder films very quickly that i'll flag up that i think are going to be better than cloverfield there's a spanish one called wreck which is uh i'm not quite sure what it's about i think it's a zombie thing but that's supposed to be brilliant and there's an american one called paranormal activity about a couple whose house is haunted and they set up uh camcorders to record the ghost at night oh that sounds good the trailer for that looks really scary yeah yeah anyway that's movie news now it's time for rufus wainwright
My eyes open, the mind has so many memories Can you remember what it looks like when I try?
I'm trying, trying to tell you All that I can is sweet and velveton With no words I ever could tell you Sell you on me after all that I've done
The screaming is done without moving One little moment to show you what we've done
Oh, Jerusalem, oh, Jerusalem
All emotions Into you I'm leaving you Down can't do it I'm leaving you Into the early morning Into the early morning
you
Rufus Wainwright with The One You Love, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music, here with the slightly late news and Nicky Cardwell and Adrian Larkin.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Nicky Cardwell.
The crisis at Northern Rock should have been spotted earlier and dealt with more quickly, according to the most comprehensive report into the crisis yet.
6music's political correspondent Ben Wright has more.
This is the first significant comprehensive overview that we've had of this crisis.
What happened, who was to blame and what should happen next.
and it's scathing really across the board.
It lays the chunk of the blame quite clearly at the door of the directors of this bank.
People who are next up for the most amount of criticism of the financial services authority and it's very hard on them.
Another teenager has been murdered in West London.
The 19-year-old was found with serious injuries in a park in Ealing early this morning and died later in hospital.
He's the fourth teenager to be killed in the capital since the beginning of the year.
Four men have been injured in two separate shootings overnight.
One pair are being treated for gunshot wounds after being attacked in Nottingham, while the other men were taken to hospital after a street shooting in Preston.
The soaring cost of gas and electricity in the home isn't justified, according to Britain's Energy Watchdoc.
Energy Watch says companies are making huge profits at the expense of customers and should be investigated by the Competitions Commission.
Thousands of Palestinians from Gaza have once again crossed the border into Egypt to stock up on supplies in defiance of an Israeli blockade.
Egyptian riot police have tried to limit access, but cars are being allowed to cross the border.
Police in France have searched the headquarters of the country's second largest bank, Societe Generale, as part of their investigation into a huge share dealing fraud.
One of the bank's employees is accused of hiding losses of three and a half billion pounds.
Six Music Sport and it's the biggest game in Havant and Waterloovilles history.
This afternoon they face Liverpool at Anfield in the FA Cup fourth round.
The fans can't wait.
As long as they do their best and everybody's backing them around here, that's all they can do, isn't it?
They'd be brilliant anyway.
It's going to be a brilliant day.
I think they will give every single thing they've got.
Fingers crossed.
I would like to see them beat them or draw, which would be nice.
Now with Six Music News, here's Adrian Larkin.
Six Music News.
Morrissey's gig at the London Roundhouse had to be cancelled last night.
According to reports, Mozza was struggling on stage and three songs in, he walked off.
Fans say he spoke about a mystery illness before the likes of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross got up on stage and announced the end of the show.
If you were there, we want to hear from you, so leave your comments on our Six Music News website.
Sony BMG is going to launch its first commercial USB release, Scream Air 5, which is by Bullet For My Valentine, comes out on Monday.
And finally New Yorker Dawn Landers is out and about touring in the UK right now.
She played at the Water Rats in London last night and popped by the Six Music Studios to give us the lowdown on the new single Bodyguard.
I had a premonition and a dream that I was gonna be robbed and it happened.
I wrote the song right after it did happen and I lost an entire album.
I had it all on my laptop and my hard drive and that was all stolen so it was like the first song I wrote for this record that was just like, alright, here we go.
That's 6 Music News, your next bulletin's at 12.30.
On the Music Week this week, in the wake of Amy Winehouse's latest exposé, The Sun's Gordon Smart joins us as we debate whether the tabloids are hounding our musicians to death and we look back at Morrissey's week at the Roundhouse.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
I'm gonna get free
The best of the BBC Music Archive on six.
Playing legendary Peel sessions and some of the world's greatest concerts.
Gideon Co.
delves into the BBC archives, covering over 40 years of live music.
Gideon Co.
Monday night from 10.
BBC 6 Music.
wants to be right as the rain is better when something is wrong you get excitement in your bones and everything you do's a game when night comes and you're on your own you can say I'll
Who wants to be right?
There's a rain, it's harder when you're on top Cause when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired There ain't no room in my bed as far as I'm concerned So wipe that dirty smile off me Hope you're making all my pride and my heart out
Who wants to be right in a high when you just crumble back on down You give up everything you are and even then you don't get far They make believe that
is exactly what it seems.
But at least when you're at your worst, you know how to feel things.
You see when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired, there ain't no room in my bed as far as I'm concerned.
So wipe that dirty smile off me.
Won't be making up my pride, my heart out.
It's still my heart to make her cry again Cause it will never hurt as much as it did then when We were both right and no one had blame But now I give up on this end again Cause who wants to be right cause the rain is better When something is wrong I get this, I'm burning my bones Even though everything's a strange When night comes and I'm
Who wants to be right?
This rain is harder when you're on top Cause when hard work don't pay off and I'm tired There ain't no home in my bed as far as I'm concerned So wipe that dirty smile We won't be making up our pride
in the fall.
Who wants to be writer's reign?
That's what Adele is saying there.
Is it not a problem that Adele sounds so similar to Amy Winehouse?
I thought that was Amy Winehouse.
No, I mean, she's got almost exactly the same little vocal inflections there and everything.
Well, I guess they're just lining her up in case something goes wrong with Winehouse.
It's good to have a plan B, a fallback position.
Good to have a little spare.
Now, I'm sorry about this, folks, but it's time to deal with Song Wars again.
It's time for songs.
Let's start with my song, which I fear is going to be the losing song this week, considering I wouldn't even vote for it.
Oh, I thought, you know, man, you've got funny lyrics there.
No, I'd vote for your song.
Let's get my one out of the way.
This is called, it hasn't even got a name.
It's just a song about illegal downloading.
Here we go.
Imagine Sting without a house Living on the street Imagine if Led Zeppelin Could not afford to eat
Imagine if the Rolling Stones had to gnaw on filthy phones That's what might happen if you all keep illegal downloading The foundations of rock and roll will slowly be eroding
You might get tunes for free But you'll destroy the industry The cops might come knocking at your door But you're senseless to the floor Imagine Kate Nash penniless Aiming one house a boozeless mess Kylie Minogue without a dress Radiohead even more depressed Okay, so those things sound quite cool I have a real business
Listeners can you hear me Adams actually gone to the loo?
I've got such little faith in my song He's not in the studio at the moment.
This is Joe speaking.
I'm just gonna fade my song out I
Sorry mate.
Sorry.
Hello.
What were you saying?
Nothing.
Anyway, that's my song.
Are you doing propaganda?
No, no.
While I was in the lobby?
No, no, no, no.
Sorry, I have said that.
Introduce your song.
He was, wasn't he?
He's doing propaganda.
That's not necessary to do propaganda.
Haven't any of you won?
15 or something?
I've won one.
3% of the vote I got last week.
4 votes in total or whatever it was.
Yeah.
Anyway, listeners, here's Adam's piracy song right now.
Check it out.
I wanna have a look at that film today But I don't think I'm gonna pay Cause I'm bad, and I steal I don't care, I don't fail And I'll take anything you got And I'll put it in my pocket, yeah I steal films, I steal books I steal books, I steal looks I steal kids, well I don't steal kids by might
That's the mind of a pirate.
Did you hear the hate and greed?
And our beloved entertainment biz is where the dirty pirates feed.
And I don't mean terrorists and their golden compass knock-offs.
I mean you and your downloads.
Oh, I ought to knock your block offs.
How do you think this stuff gets made?
You think artists create it, they don't get it?
paid it's the only reason they do what they do it's not the flippin work most of that's poo they depend on the money that you idiots give so they can make more crap and so they can live the good life yes the life of the stars but you're taking their pools and you're taking their cars you bastards you better believe it how cuz we're evil where's that
and we're gonna play some music and nobody at the party's gonna pay
And even if you're buying other stuff that don't make up For all the phantom profit that you've slayed I don't care, cause I'm metal, I'm evil, and I deserve to be locked up Cause I'm a Pons, and I smell, and I want to go to hell
Anyways.
There we go, that's Song Wars for this week.
The first song that you heard was Joe's song.
If you want to vote for that one text Joe to 64046 or email Joe to adamandjoe.6music.bbc.co.uk and if you want to vote for the second one that was Adam's, the one you just heard, do the same but send Adam to those numbers or addresses.
If you're listening again of course the text won't work so do send an email.
And thank you very much.
We don't have a note of who suggested that theme, do we?
No, it was suggested by someone.
You know who you are.
Yeah, so thanks a lot, man.
Yeah, thanks.
We didn't exactly put both sides of the argument in our songs.
No, it wasn't clearly well.
But, you know, we really tried there.
And that might be the last Song Wars for a while, so...
Hey, that's not a foregone conclusion.
Is it not?
No, I guess we'll rest it for a week.
Song or sabbatical?
Song or sabbatical for a week.
Because we've got to play the winning one next week anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
And we'll find something exciting to replace it with temporarily.
uh now here's a free play uh from me this is a guy called Dr Octagon aka Cool Keith uh this is a brilliant confusing song if you can make any sense of these lyrics you're a better man than me but uh i don't mind this is called um Get Off My Elevator
Get off my elevator.
That woman is very nosy.
I choose my subjects personal, man.
That's what I want to write, critics critique.
I compel that God survived this week.
97, I blacked out.
Who's paying all my rent?
Larger than hip hop, you watch me like the president.
No feedback on R&B scams motivate me.
With stretch marks around your guts, plus I know you hate me.
Guard your feet, lose sight of your lead.
I'mma come complete.
Work off your meat pounds with supersonic stomach sounds.
I get iller, guard your rap mics My style shine like zebra stripes Right in your forehead, my word becomes a real missile I be hangin' in back doors like Rosa toilet tissue Hydraulic engines blow flowers out your left window Your rap is catnip with slob droppin' on the puller Shut your face, shut your mouth like pigeons fly south I'm rollin' ramp up the bottoms, kid, where you start?
Get off my two sacks, light your pipes, load your trap Security works, scorch you off the building
Trying to find out more business.
You rapping tacky.
Your whole wardrobe, your colored food stamps.
Department of Agriculture, scheming like a bojo.
I burn your sirens off on tracks like John Shaft.
You be counting my pubic hairs, trying to deal with math.
Like mascots, you'll punch your ashy face in black beep.
Studio plastic nose, panties, sweat, and street heat.
I'll be there like Vladimir packing in your ear.
Dr. Smith will Robinson make you stay, oh dear.
national thunderstorm step up and stop your power your records hot milk like yogurt and you smell sour get my reels and packs a that system flex you got polio knees locked all on slow train dancing with anorexis punks i'll flip your brain like don canarius i hop behind the scenes make you lick my hot dogs with ketchup on two beans i censorship real quick and feed your family cabbage make you dork eat ham hocks tuna out the garbage
He bought still owe me, but capital built walls, built fences
There we go, Cool Keith aka Dr. Octagon with Get Off My Elevator.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
What's the difference between his personas then?
I don't know.
Was Dr. Octagon absolutely filthy?
Yeah, he was occasionally very filthy.
It's a fantastic record by Dr. Octagon that I can't even mention anything about because it's so filthy.
It's absolute filth.
Yeah, but it involves a lady's hair.
and things going into it that shouldn't in a phone box.
Right.
Yeah.
That's from sort of the end of the 90s, isn't it?
Yeah.
That one, Get Off My Elevator.
Yeah.
But he's had stuff out recently.
Has he?
Yeah.
He's quite patchy.
So do preview before you purchase.
Is he like Apache Indian?
He is very like Apache Indian.
Why doesn't Apache Indian do some new stuff?
I don't know.
That's one of my favorite songs in the world.
I might play that next week.
It's a good song.
Right and go up, right and go down.
Now listen, one or two people have been talking about how it's quite difficult to tell our voices apart.
That's true.
Our usual producer Jude tried to pan us one on the left and one on the right.
I think I'm on the left and you're on the right.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
But here's an email from Claire Labrick.
um who is a student hi adam and joe i was surprised to hear that some listeners can't tell you apart on the radio i think your voices are quite distinctive thought i might help out with some handy spot with a handy spotters or listeners guide to adam and joe okay you're ready one adam has a deeper usually quite cheery voice joe's voice is lighter but with just the occasional slight hint of sarcasm and a teeny bit of cynicism two adam seems to like torturing his vocal cords to see what weird voice he can get out
If you hear a funny voice, it's probably Adam.
Joe doesn't do as many funny voices, but if you hear a West Country accent or a snorting thanks-a-lot Al Gore, it's probably Joe.
3.
Adam can swing from cheery to enraged in one conversation.
Joe keeps a steady voice throughout, although he can sound bored, and he seems to delight in baiting Adam into a fit of rage.
4.
Adam usually loses song wars.
Joe usually wins song wars.
5.
Adam can occasionally get sidetracked from the point he's trying to make.
To be fair, he's usually sidetracked by Joe.
Joe likes making lists to make sure he gets all his points across.
Usually he'll get the numbering wrong.
Eight, we then go from five to eight.
If someone is talking about movies, oh I see, that's, you know, yeah.
Especially 3D movies, it's probably Joe.
If they're talking about Radiohead David Bowie or playing music, it's probably Adam.
If they're telling an anecdote with a healthy dose of name dropping, it'll be Joe.
If they're telling an anecdote that gets them enraged and spluttering, that'll be Adam.
And finally, here's the last one, if they remind you of a favourite uncle who gives you gifts when they visit and tells stories doing all the weird voices, it's Adam.
If they remind you of a cool older cousin who you desperately want to be liked by but who tuts and rolls his eyes at you, it's Joe.
There you go.
Claire Labrick in Norfolk.
That's pretty thorough, isn't it?
Yeah, that's very thorough.
Scary.
She's put a lot of thought into that.
Yeah, we've been profiled.
Maybe she works for the police.
Yeah, or the government.
Hey, we work for the government.
We do.
We are the government.
We are the government.
We're in the big British castle.
Claire, you're under arrest.
We're going to put you in the dungeon for just being cheeky.
For unauthorized profiling.
Having lovely cheeks.
Now here's some more music just before we say goodbye to you folks.
This is The Beloved with Hello.
So welcome to the world, yeah.
Boilet comers, just step on board.
I'm happy, I'm glad you came.
So welcome home again.
Sometimes I feel we must be going blind.
Consider, if you will, this great big question unanswered still.
Oh, we can spot the difference that lies between the colour blue and the colour green.
Sometimes I feel we must be going
to the team.
All the happy work that I've kept, yeah, the riddle I made.
Brian Hayes.
He's like an old LBC DJ.
Brian Hayes is still very much in action.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's like a Song Wars song.
I know that's good.
It'd be great to be immortalized in a song like that.
Wouldn't it?
Just love a little bit of name checking.
Yeah.
Never happened with it.
Well, that's pretty much it for us this week.
Thank you so much for listening and for texting us.
Thanks for all your texts and emails, especially the long involved emails.
We particularly love those and keep them coming in.
They all get readied.
We'll be back next week.
Don't forget the podcast available from the BBC website right now.
Here's Mark Ronson.
Bye.
Can't get the stink off He's been hanging around for days Comes like a comic Suck with you but not your friends One day he'll get to you And teach you how to be a holy cow You do it to yourself, you do
That's why it really hurts Cause you do it to yourself Just see you, you're no one else You do it to yourself You do it to yourself Do it, do it to yourself
To get my sympathy Hanging out the 15th floor You change the lock three times It still comes reading through the door One day I'll get to you
You do it to yourself, you do And that's why it really hurts Cause you do it to yourself to see you You're no one else You do it to yourself You do it to yourself
you