six music today from two john homes from midday liz kershaw and now it's adam and joe so if you're lonely you know i'm here waiting for you i'm just a crosshair i'm just a short
And France Ferdinand.
They're so hot right now.
They're from Scotland.
They're so hot right now.
Oh, they're exciting.
They're the new sound.
Have you heard them?
Shut up.
Did you hear them?
Shut up.
It's too early.
It's nine.
It's past nine o'clock.
Nine.
What's your problem?
I'm sleepy.
What time did you go to bed?
I've just come from the West End stage.
Have you?
Yeah, I've just come from seeing Jane Asher.
Right.
In an amazing play.
Did you?
I was sitting in a plastic garden chair on the stage.
Right.
And then at one point, she needed to sit in it for the play.
What were you talking about?
I was asleep.
What time did you go to sleep?
About one.
One.
That's too late, man.
It is, isn't it?
You're doing an early morning.
I mean, this is still relatively early morning.
It's irresponsible to go to bed at one.
It's totally irresponsible.
I was excited.
Were you high?
No.
I bet you were.
I wasn't.
I bet you were.
Only on life.
Really?
That's irresponsible.
Is it?
It's very irresponsible.
You shouldn't touch life.
I mean, for goodness sake, what are you thinking about?
The kids out there listening to this show, they're going to go out and they're going to try it themselves.
And it's a gateway thing, you know?
Anyway, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music on this, it's a bit grey in London this morning, listeners.
I hope it's nicer where you are.
But we've got a fun show for you, so you don't have to worry about any of that.
For the next two hours and 55 minutes, we'll be here with a mix of great music and chat.
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you like great music and chat?
I love mixing them together.
Do you?
Well, we're the best at doing the mixing.
Good stuff.
We got great music coming up.
We're going to reveal the winner of last week's Cryptozoological Song Wars, launch this week's Song Wars, do text the nation plus loads of fantastic chit chat.
Did I mention the music?
I mentioned the music.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, there's gonna be some, uh, I wish I hadn't mentioned that the chit though.
Um, you know, really we're fine with the chat.
It's just a load of chit.
It's a little bit rude to mention the chit.
Uh, so let's have some music right now.
Here's the Duke spirit with the step and the walk.
Ten English pounds and this heart and pain and fears As though I'm moving to the end Am I moving to the end of your loving?
How, how did I do this?
Me, I put the water on my hands
I didn't understand such a cold detachment from the start All the joys they slam down and no one in this town burns bright in our hearts Without joy, joy, joy in the rain
All me, I put that box around my heart All I could and I noticed Such a pool Detached from the start All the chores, they slam down For no one in this town is bright enough Without joy, joy, joy in the rain I can feel forever the same Without joy, joy, joy in the rain
Without joy, joy, joy in the rain I could feel forever the same
Ooh.
That's Duke Spirit there with the step and the walk.
Hi, this is Adam Buxton.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish.
Good morning.
We hope you're feeling very positive and happy this morning.
If you're not, just go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and repeat over and over to yourself, I am the coolest one.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
I am the coolest.
I am the coolest one.
I am Mr. or Mrs. Cool.
I'm Mr. Cool.
Yeah.
Do the trick and then get back into bed.
And I'd like to challenge listeners this morning to stay in bed for the whole show.
Yes, not get out of the gym jams till noon.
Yeah, until the afternoon.
Basically, if you're really strong,
Try and go the whole day.
Exactly.
You'll get that kind of pyjama fudge at about four or five when it just feels wrong.
Yeah.
You know, you'll feel like a wino.
But if you push through at about seven, it'll start, you know, coming on again.
You might want to change into some new gym jams then.
No.
No, that would defeat the purpose.
You've got to go the whole day in the same gym jams.
Wow.
You feel a bit weird about tea time but then come six or seven it feels right again.
Life has peaked on the tea.
I mean my gym jams, yeah.
Yeah, that's what it must be like.
But try and make it through till noon listeners.
There's no point in leaving the house today.
There's no point in really leaving your bedroom.
Radio's got much better as well you know in the last few years.
I'm not just talking about our own excellent show but you know generally you could stick with six music pretty much all day.
All day.
If you didn't like the six music
You could switch over and listen to the last hour of Jonathan Ross' programme.
A different BBC station.
Exactly.
Just don't stray outside the walls of the big British castle.
No, you should never do that.
It's totally insane.
It's just rammed with advertising hoardings.
Sellers of cheap vittles and trinkets.
People don't talk properly.
It's very hard to understand what they're saying.
Stay in the castle walls.
Yeah, there's a lot of bad language out there.
Don't stray into the Forbidden Zone.
There's no rules.
There are mutants.
It's like the Omega Man.
outside the big British castle.
Oh, mega.
Have you ever heard of Bob Marley?
Is he?
No.
Have you heard of Damian Marley?
No, yes.
You don't know what I'm talking about.
Joe's coaching me to give these answers.
Oh dear, we'll talk about that later actually.
Alright then.
Some people will realise.
Bob Marley?
Let's have some music, yeah.
Oh, what, is that an advert?
No, it's an I Am Legend reference.
Oh, Bob Marley.
Get with it, Grandpa.
Did you bring in your, er... Nope.
I Am Legend stuff?
Nope.
Oh, when are you going to do that?
It's exciting, isn't it?
Maybe next week.
Erm... He plays Bob Marley in I Am Legend, though.
Listen, put a record on, I'll explain it.
Oh, you can't just launch in with the crypto stuff.
Right now, here's one of my choices for you, listeners.
This is from Frank Black's
Debut album and it's a lovely song popped up on my iPod the other day and enjoyed it very much So I hope you do too.
This is old black dawning
But you was not able
You're
BBC sex music.
You know we've got a bit of a Caribbean flavour on the show?
Yeah, I still don't understand why.
George Lamb.
Where did you go to school?
Letchworth, Kingston town.
Is it very nice?
Do they speak in Patois at your school?
Monterey Bay is his maker.
Yeah, I thought so.
Jack's Rib Shack on the beach.
Allure!
God, that's so funny.
That's how I think you should talk, because you probably went to some really poor school.
Listen, my mum thinks I should talk properly as well.
But you're 28 and you're not taking me at all anymore, yeah!
You're absolutely right.
Fine.
It's a bane of my life, everybody's got to why don't you speak properly.
Yeah.
But I don't.
Because you're a rebel.
Because I... You just don't care.
Hey, listen, you're street.
George Lamb's back, Monday morning from 10.
I'm so street, you're down.
Big tings of guac.
Six music.
Tell me, Mira, what is...
Just me, myself, and I
speak the plug too tight please oh please let plug 2 be himself not what you read or write right is wrong when hype is with me on the slow they lie that way stylish surely our own thing not the filthy size of shoulders they lie slowly from the soul and in fact i can't deny strictly from the dan call stuff the end for me myself and i
People think they diss my person by stating I'm darkly packed I know this so I point at Q-tip and he states Black is black
Cuz they try to mess with third degree That's me, myself, and I
There we go, that was De La Soul.
They're a hip-hop band.
Hip-hop's a new type of music that just involves talking.
Well, it's people from Da Ghetto.
Some people call it rap, which means just to chat.
Rhythm and poetry.
It's an acronym.
It's not really, is it?
That's what Coolio said.
Rhythmic American poetry, but he made that up.
Well, Eric B and Rakeem say that as well.
Do they?
Well, that's just a convenient acronym.
It just means to talk, to rap, to chat.
And it's just talking and beats.
So don't expect any melody.
Some of you might be upset or singing and do expect some braggadocio.
Is that the right word?
Braggadocio.
Braggadocio.
I'm not sure.
Anyway, that's hip-hop.
That's hip-hop dealt with.
Can we deal with Bob Marley?
Yeah, in the film I Am Legend, I don't know whether anybody's seen it, there's a lady character.
This film's set in 2012.
She turns up at Will Smith's house.
You know, they're the only people left in the world.
And he plays Bob Marley to her.
And she's never heard of Bob Marley.
She says, what do you mean?
Do you mean Damien Marley?
he says no no uh his father bob she just stares at him blankly doesn't know what he's talking about yeah so that struck me as stretching credulity a little bit because in the future she's from brazil right uh and it's 2012 yeah and she's never heard of bob marley
seems a bit ludicrous doesn't it i think everybody's heard of bob marley haven't they uh yeah i would say so he's got to be one of the most famous musicians on the planet him and the guy from the jing jang jong hovering above the planet yeah yeah now i think it's time to deal with the song wars deal with it
Be the one, you'll be the one who decides By texting or repailing when you hear the clips
You know, we get a very full email bag about song wars, and the reactions from listeners vary enormously.
Yeah, well it's nice that we're getting reactions, you know, because we put a lot of effort into the wars of the songs.
But there's no unity in response.
For instance, Caroline People says, this week I think both were a bit weak.
Adams was lazy, long, and filled with ennui de vivre.
bit disappointed really says Caroline whereas Max Ellis says hello I quite like Joe's song as far as the structure and lyrical content but his high-pitched squealing made my head hurt so I'm plumping for Adams Nessie special thank you right dear they're polite but rude at the same time it's sort of passive-aggressive listeners yeah
uh well they have every right to expect the best actually that's not true i just said that no they've got they can expect nothing they've got no right not much we don't get paid any extra if you think of the price of the license fee yeah then divide it by the number of services the bbc provides then divide that by the number of djs on six music yeah that's how much they're spending on us we've actually done this calculation we should do that calculation yeah
Then we can work out actually how much money you should be getting value for it's gonna be under a penny, right?
Isn't it?
It will be under a penny for three hours and that you might as well just give you drones.
It doesn't give you exactly it's a drone Wars How about that
something like that would be good that's almost what we've got this week uh dean summuck really i'm voting for joe's sasquatch song this week even though i am in fact from saskatchewan and there don't seem to be any sasquatches here that's very that's bs dean that's a load of bs i've seen some rather hairy people but never a sasquatch we'll try harder because they're out there
Here's one.
Listen to this.
Lily Elbra.
Adam, Adam, Adam.
You've let me down.
You've let the show down.
And you probably know in your hearts that you've let yourself down.
My name's Mike.
I'm a big fish horse.
What are you talking about?
She's suggesting you've got more than one heart.
You're like Doctor Who.
good lord someone's just emailed in a spoiled ballot paper try and make people happy and this is what they do they throw it right back in your face and they slap you and then they run around the back and they kick you paul bradley says can't say i was too taken with either side oh my lord
Why do we bother?
Shall we close down Song Wars?
You know what?
We could close it down.
Let's shut it down.
I mean, people are... Well, you're the only people who like it, ladies of production.
Plus, you're the producer.
If you didn't say that, it would be a very bad thing.
No, everyone hates it.
Well, you know what?
We could take a break, because it is hard to do the songs week after week.
Are we ready for the result, then?
All right, let's hear the result.
It is hard to do, though.
Here's the result.
song what cryptozoological songs cornish takes it i'm afraid i was expecting to have lost it i was excited it's very very close though 42 plays 58 very close switched all week did it it was switching around all week wow it's not really fair is it
Well, life's not fair.
I've resigned myself.
Really?
Apparently not.
Isn't it?
You'd expect that it would be, wouldn't you?
Seeing as it's like all you've got, and you have to live it for years.
But no, it's not even fair!
Anyway, let's hear the winning song.
This is Joe's song about the sasquatch.
Oh dear.
Here we go.
Baby, let me take you down to Saskatchewan to Me little friend of mine goes by the name of Bigfoot Gonna break your arms out and pull your head off, baby Honey, do not be afraid to Step into this cave to
He's big and hairy and smelly You might have seen him in a documentary on the telly They captured him on Super 8 But they can't catch him, he's a Super 8 They're missing Nick with the dreadful sting
He's ten feet tall with enormous balls, yeah You might think he don't exist I'll prove it, baby, don't resist Just take my hand, watch for his tracks He'll eat us up like a twin twigs pack
Try and make a plastic cast Believe me baby, we won't last, no Human being can run fast Another escaping creature that's that fast Believe it, I can understand you're skeptical You wanna collect here samples and receptacles Don't believe the cryptos who will launch
But believe me, baby, the world ain't always so logical They call him Bigfoot, some call him Sasquatch There's also Yeji, who makes spaghetti All of your insides, nobody can hide Because he exists, you know his name is
Bigfoot.
That is the song that the nation voted their favorite of all time.
In the context of Song Wars, there was only one other one.
Congratulations.
I liked your one, Adam.
Thank you very much.
I always like yours better than mine because I'm so sick of mine by the time I finish.
Right, right.
How are you with this week's one?
Sick of it.
Are you?
I'm sick of it.
How long is yours this week?
40 minutes.
Is it?
Forty minutes.
Mine's one minute.
Really?
It's very short.
That's a major discrepancy between lengths.
Yeah, it's very pithy, mine, because I've been working hard on jingles for the new podcast.
Oh, we've got a podcast for you listeners.
Thanks for taking care of that.
Well, you know... I just sit at home in a bath of champagne.
Do you?
Yeah.
Just splashing little bits of champagne on you and maybe use... What do you use for shampoo then?
I can't say.
Baby sham?
It doesn't froth very easily.
Does it not?
No.
Okay, we have more song wars for you later on in the show.
You'll be happy to hear it, listeners.
But right now, here's some real music for you.
This is the raconteurs.
What do you mean real music?
How rude?
How wooed, as Jar Jar Binks would say.
Yeah, yeah, it's nice to hear Jar Jar Binks quoted on a Saturday morning.
I'm gonna be quoting Dobby the house elf a bit later, so stay tuned.
Oh man, you didn't see the JK Rowling thing last night, did you?
All the rubbish CGI creatures are here.
Did you see that?
Year and the life of Rowling.
No, no, let's talk about it later.
Talk about it later.
Here's the rack on tours.
Find yourself a girl and settle down Live a simple life in a quiet town
you've had too much to think now you need a wife
Then you'll get along.
Steady as she goes Standing for a whirl, now to humble down Standing to the crowd, now to gather round Standing for a girl, now to humble down Standing to the crowd, now to gather round
Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady now Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go Steady as you go, steady as you go, steady as
BBC News at 9.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
The Information Commissioner Richard Thomas is demanding answers from the Ministry of Defence following the theft of a computer containing details of more than half a million people at various stages of joining the armed forces.
The laptop was stolen more than a week ago from a car parked overnight in Birmingham.
Douglas Young from the British Armed Forces Federation says he's deeply concerned.
It does raise more questions about the
handling a bind government of our information and the fact that it relates to members of the armed forces and people interested in joining the armed forces makes it particularly serious.
Next on 6, music.
It looks like engine failure caused the British Airways jet crash at Heathrow on Thursday.
The first report from accident investigators says both engines on the Boeing 777 stopped responding two miles from the runway.
Gordon Brown's accepted a plan that would make a private sale of Northern Rock much more likely.
The proposal would commit billions of pounds of taxpayers' cash to the bank for years to come.
Lib Dems Treasury spokesman Vincent Cabell isn't impressed.
The taxpayer will still have complete liability and a private company is going to be invited to take over the bank for a very small price.
and use it as a license to print money.
I mean, it's potentially a rather outrageous proposal, but of course we wait to see the veto.
Gordon Brown's in Shanghai on the latest leg of his visit to China.
He'll be signing an agreement which will see British companies help to build an environmentally friendly city.
A charity says bailiffs are unlawfully entering people's homes to confiscate goods.
The National Consumer Debt Line claims police aren't stopping them because they don't understand the law.
Sport, it's Kevin Keegan's first game in charge at Newcastle since returning as manager later.
They face Bolton in the Premier League at St James' Park.
Elsewhere in the Premier League, the leaders Manchester United travel to Reading while Arsenal take on Fulham at Craven Cottage.
In the SPL, second place Celtic play Kilmarnock.
Motherwell, who are third, are away to St.
Mirren.
And the weather.
Well, there's a line of rain spreading from Wales through the Midlands and into East Anglia, which will linger for much of the day.
Some of that could be heavy.
North of that, though, some sunny spells, particularly in Scotland and Northern Ireland and to the south, it'll be mainly cloudy with a few isolated showers.
Highs of 12 degrees in Brighton, 11 in Cardiff and 7 degrees in Leeds.
That's 6Music News.
I'm back with more at 10.30.
BBC Six Music.
On the Bruce Dickinson Friday rock show this week was Ricky and Stumpy from the almighty in conversation and Saxon from the BBC archives.
So listen again at bbc.co.uk forward slash Six Music.
Adam and Joe from Six Music.
To stop this burning from within Come on, baby Come on, baby Come on, baby Come on, baby Come on, baby Come on, baby Yeah!
Fingertips in a honey dip No, except so I'm fine From a surge of hips to a feather
I'm getting stuck on the reaction of water.
The light and bold between our eyes Can paralyze we before we realize Hypnotize our conspiracies Mr. Rita is a breeze Could try to see ahead and farther
Oh dear.
Oh, that's embarrassing.
How embarrassing.
That just broke at the end there.
What a shame.
That's very awkward.
What a lazy band.
Who are they?
Oh, I assumed that was a problem with us.
No, no, I'm sure it was the band.
Who are they?
That was Ash.
I'll make a note.
You'd expect that Ash would have it a bit more together.
Then are you just writing, making a little note there?
The song slows down.
Breaks at the end there, I put.
At the end.
And please check.
Please fix as well.
Please withdraw and re-release.
And re-release with fixed ending.
I know Charlotte Heffley, who used to be in Ash as well, so I can get to them.
Not sure she's in touch with them anymore.
Maybe she is, I don't know.
She hates them, man.
I don't know that.
She probably hates them.
She probably loves them.
She probably absolutely hates them.
She probably loves them.
And she's probably cheering that the end of the song broke.
Yeah, it's very, very poor.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
We were talking about Louis Theroux's programme last weekend.
He went inside San Quentin.
You only caught the last 10 minutes of the show.
I did.
I tried to miss Louis's programmes because he's a good friend of mine and it makes me jealous.
You make me a little bit jealous.
I miss them.
I just don't.
Then I can say to him, oh, I missed your show.
Yeah, but if you miss them, though, then you can't join in the water cooler chats that always occur throughout the week.
I love the water cooler.
Do you?
Yeah, I mainly go there as soon as Louis's programs finish.
I saw him at the very end looking very sort of dismissive at a mass murderer.
I don't think he was a mass murderer.
He'd done a bit of torturing in her invasion.
Louis wasn't impressed by him.
He was looking down his nose slightly at him.
Well, yeah, exactly.
He can't condemn them utterly, can he?
He has to remain impartial because it's the big British castle going out there being represented by Thoreau.
But he certainly can look sniffy at them, and he absolutely took full advantage of his sniffy powers.
But the guy who was in there for, I think, 500 years or something?
That's a long time.
Do they keep him alive for that length of time?
Yeah.
He'll do the whole stretch.
And he was basically saying, it's not so bad.
You know, Louis was saying, wow, that's pretty, that's depressing, isn't it?
That you're going to be in here for all those 500 years.
The guy was saying, no, the main thing, the main things you've got to get rid of in your mind, right?
To make it bearable.
You just got to basically set your standards right down.
You've got to lower your sights.
You said it was women.
Yeah.
Forget about women and forget about what goes on in the outside world.
He mentioned boat rides.
It's one thing that a lot of people mention, I notice.
I was watching a thing about... Well, a boat ride, someone else mentioned a boat ride.
Charles Bukowski, I saw an interview with him and he was talking about boat rides as being something that made life worth living.
It's euphemistic, I suppose, but it's not that euphemistic because they are wonderful.
Yeah.
They bob around.
When was the last time you went on a boat ride?
A boat ride?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Never go down the Thames?
I don't know.
On a boat.
I'm trying to think.
A boat ride.
I've been down the Thames in a speedboat.
Yeah.
That was a brilliant boat ride.
When did you go on there?
Were you with James Bond?
I went to pitch to direct an advert that I didn't get but it was an advertising company that had a private speedboat.
Speedboat?
Picked you up and took you to Canary Wharf.
We want you to direct an advert for us Cornish, we're gonna pick you up in the speedboat.
That's exactly what happened.
We changed our mind Cornish, we don't want you to direct the advert, get back on the speedboat.
The adverts for guns and bombs, what have you got?
What was your idea?
Guns are man, bombs are woman.
And they're happy.
Don't like it.
You're out.
We're gonna get the guy.
Back in the speedboat.
You can't even go on the speedboat.
You gotta go on the bus.
On the busboat.
So there you go.
The guy who was doing 500 years.
That was the main thing that he'll never go on.
He'll never go on a speedboat.
Unless it's... It's hard to come to terms with.
What would be the circumstances whereby he went on a speedboat?
If they had to transfer him to another prison really fast.
Right, if the whole prison got invaded and blew up and stuff and it turned out that he was, despite all his hideous crimes, he was the only man for the job to... I bet he's quite a character.
I bet if there was some kind of prison breakout, some kind of Michael Bay style adventure happened... Yeah.
I bet that mass murderer would be a good, he'd be wise-cracking.
I'm not so sure.
You know, the thing that came across... He'd be frightened of him because he's capable of anything, but he'd be pretty cool.
One of the things that came across most strongly in the doco was how boring most of the criminals were.
In fact, all of the criminals were.
Have you not seen Conner?
Well, this is what I'm saying, though.
Have you seen Reservoir?
None of the personalities.
Have you seen Goodfellas?
Yeah, yeah.
Criminals are.
We've been misled.
They're brilliant.
We've been misled.
They're fun.
They're wise-cracking.
Listen, I'm telling you.
They're violent.
But, oh, sometimes that can be really cool.
I'm telling you, I think we've been misled.
Head in a vice?
No.
You know, it's not nearly as fun as you would expect.
And also, I watch Prison Break.
You don't even watch Prison Break.
All the people in prison break, they're fun, they're sparky.
Sparky.
They're generally in there for the wrong reasons.
Is that not real?
And it's, er, all the people... Criminals are boring.
They're boring, they're quite stupid.
They're stupid.
Yeah.
And, er, they're generally just quite tedious people.
Note to Hollywood.
Yeah?
So can you just put that under the ash note there?
I'll put that under that note to Hollywood.
Criminals... Stop glamourising.
Yeah.
Do it more accurately.
Louis Theroux says... Stop it.
They're boring.
OK.
Now it's time to chase some pavements here on BBC6 Music.
This is Adele.
Have you got a stamp?
Yeah, here you go.
Thanks.
I've made up my mind Don't need to think it over If I'm wrong, I am right Don't need to look no further This ain't last, I
If I tell the world I'll never say enough Cause it was not said to you And that's exactly what I need to do If I end up with you Should I give up Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Keep chasing payments Even if it needs no way I build myself up And fly around in circles Waiting as my heart drops And my back begins to tingle finally
Or should I just keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere?
Would it be a way Even if I knew my way?
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up?
Or should I just keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere?
should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere oh would it be worse even if i knew my place should i leave it there should i
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing payments?
Should I just keep on chasing payments?
Or should I give up or should I just keep chasing payments?
Even if I knew my way, should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing payments?
Even if it leads nowhere
That's Adele with Chasing Pavements.
Is that a big hit, that one?
Yeah, that's a big hit.
I heard that on Capitol Radio this morning, which is London's mass-market radio station.
So it's definitely broken through to the mainstream there.
Definitely, you know?
Are you suggesting it's time for it to maybe leave Six Music and go on to more mainstream things?
We're trying to cater for the margins here.
you know?
And the margins get very upset and vocal sometimes.
They get scribbled in the whole time.
Exactly, doodled.
People go around, they just do a doodle right there in the margins.
Is there a band called The Margins?
Oh, I don't know.
For a moment, I saw you as you would look like if you were a tramp.
Or that.
Well, I'm heavily bearded at the moment, so that's not very hard to do.
There should be a band called The Martins.
That'd be a good name.
Someone can nick that.
You know what happened to me this week, right?
Which has nearly happened to me a number of times, but I've always just avoided it at the last minute.
I ordered a DVD from the internet, and it took a couple of weeks to arrive, and it turned out... From America.
From the Americans.
And it's a two DVD set of...
Interviews with Charles Bukowski I mentioned before they're very interesting stuff But the DVD case right the little teeth thing that holds the disc in place a name for that Yeah, what would you know what it is someone will tell us the spindle the teeth?
I don't know what you would call it
Anyway, you know how sometimes there's a little technique that's required.
It's not as easy as just popping it out You have to maybe push down in the center in order to release this the DVD or maybe you have to squeeze The things somehow pinch it in some way I tried all this none of none of it was working and then in my frustration I just yanked the sides of the disc it broke it snapped it snapped as I was pulling it out of there and
And then you think, this is not right.
This is, you know, this design is bad.
Did you do a Bukowski-esque howl of rage?
Yeah, I went and I got really drunk the way Charles Bukowski would have done for the rest of the day, and I wrote some poems about it.
But it was depressing, and you know, you've got all the trouble of ordering the thing, and you think this is wrong.
So much of the world is like this now.
It's over-designed to the extent that it's just become totally self-defeating.
Jeff, has that ever happened to you?
You've actually bust the thing, pulling it out?
No, cos I think there's a way to do it.
Well, obviously, but I was, you know, I was saying before, I tried all the different ways, the squeezing and the teasing and the pinching and the... Yeah.
None of it happened.
Did you twist?
Well... Rotate, did you rotate the disc?
What good would rotating it?
It didn't screw in and out.
Maybe it did.
Maybe it did.
Maybe it's a new American technique.
Oh, my Lord.
I don't know.
It's depressing.
Excuse me, I did a lot of belts there.
Just put it this way, I think it's probably your fault, not the DVD packages.
So I can't sue anybody?
Probably not.
That's a shame.
Have you ever sued anyone?
It would have been good if you said yes, though.
Then we could have had a little story about it.
Oh well.
Listen, coming up soon is going to be Text the Nation time, the most important part of the show, where we ask you a question of national significance, you text us, and we of course collate the information and send it to the relevant government department, who then issue a piece of carefully considered policy and lawmaking based upon it.
That's right.
Gordon Brown deals with it mainly.
It's not true.
Now here's Free Music Choice.
This is one of yours, Joe Cornish.
Yeah, this is also from the compilation put together by the soupy, soupy, poopy, furry animals bassist.
I keep going on about this.
I apologize.
It's called The Furry Selection.
It's a compilation of kind of classic dub reggae type business.
And this is one of my favorite ones off of that.
It's by Susan Cadogan.
It's called Do It Baby.
Come on and do it too.
Gentle rising, so appetizing.
You got me hungry for you.
Ooh, sweet as honey, yeah.
Ooh, how you love me, baby.
You keep me coming.
We are
All I do
Six music.
One of the most influential music shows of a generation.
The Old Grey Whistle Test.
Playing some of the most requested, most enjoyable, most bizarre and most exciting moments from Whistle Test in the 70s.
Featuring interviews with John Lennon, George Harrison, Mick Jagger, Robert Plant, studio sessions from Focus, Rory Gallagher, David Bowie, Bonnie Ray to Tom Petty and many more.
The Whistle Test Years with Bob Harris.
Monday night from 9.30.
Online on digital.
BBC Six Music.
Classic BBC session track.
Now I'm at the stage Where everything I thought meant something seems so unappealing
I'm ready for the real thing, but nobody's selling you Except you and yours, so open up your eyes and ears and let me in You must be out of your brilliant mind You must be out of your brilliant mind
Find your words heard and everybody's ready They want to know your secrets, but you are not telling You're just gesturing, saying open up your arms and hearts Let me in, you must be out of your great mind
You must be out of your privileged mind I am at the stage Where I want my words heard and no one wants to listen No one wants to listen cause everybody's yelling
About you and yours and how I'd have the answer If I'd only open up, up, up and let you in They must be out of their brilliant minds They must be out of their brilliant minds
Shame on you Shame, shame on you Shame, shame on you You must be out of your brilliant mind
You must be out of your brilliant minds
Textination!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Textination!
What if I don't want to?
Textination!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Yes, it's the nation's favourite feature, text the nation, and before that you heard a session track there that was recorded for the Janice Long Show on the 20th of February 1985.
It was furniture with brilliant minds.
Not the nation's favourite feature.
What is it?
I'm just being the small print.
It's fine.
Oh, I see, I see, yeah.
But it's not provable.
They can never get us for that.
Really?
No.
No, it's a lie.
And they're not tolerated at the big British castle.
Yeah, but how could they disprove it?
How could they... They could do a survey and most of the nation would not be aware of that feature.
I didn't realise you were going to pull out a survey.
Yeah, they could easily do a survey.
Oh, a survey.
They're always doing surveys.
Most of the news is generated by stupid surveys.
Forgot about the survey.
There was the one chink in my armour and you just went in there and mentioned the survey.
Don't forget as well that we are going to be putting up the Text-A-Nation jingle on the WAP site.
Someone emailed or got in touch during the week and said, where is the WAP site?
How do you get to the WAP site?
And you get it on, you get there on your phone, says Jude.
How do you, what do you dial in?
If you've got internet on your phone.
Internet on your phone.
And you go to the, you go to the BBC mobile site.
BBC.
You access the six music website on your phone, that is.
Yeah, let's not get into it.
Well, people want to know.
Yeah, but they can find out from better sources than you and Jude.
I don't know if they can.
I'm not convinced by either of you.
I mean, you don't know anything.
No.
She's away from the mic and she barely knows what she's talking about.
At least I'm trying to spark debate.
What are you doing?
i'm just encouraging things to move forward towards the theme of this week's text the nation the nation's favorite thing now this is inspired by a trip i had to sticky fingers which is a restaurant in london's kensington district owned by uh the former rolling stones bassist bill wyman he was the bassist right he wasn't like uh i'm just checking you know sometimes these things sort of slip your mind
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was the bassist.
And Sticky Fingers, as far as I'm aware, has been around for at least 20 years or something.
It was there at the beginning of the 80s in the kind of theme restaurant boom.
You know, it sort of started with the Hard Rock Cafe, and then of course in the 90s you had Planet Hollywood.
places like that.
But Sticky Fingers, he got in there fairly early with the whole thing, you know, when it was still fairly unfashionable and ludicrous for a pop star to be doing that.
Yeah, I suppose it's always been traditional for famous people when they retire to open restaurants.
Yeah.
And hold court.
It's what Rocky Balboa did.
That's right.
In the film Rocky Balboa.
Haven't seen that yet.
Stood around looking like a brick wall, boring stories about things that never happened.
Yeah.
Because he's fictional.
But then the restaurant was fictional as well.
So why am I complaining?
Sounds great!
Really, I've got to see that.
I love fictional restaurants.
So, you know, have you ever been a Sticky Fingers?
I don't think I have.
Certainly not for years and years and years.
It's like a burger joint.
It's very similar to the Hard Rock Cafe.
It's classy American food, but well, high quality burgers and presumably it's got Rolling Stones memorabilia.
All over the walls.
Does it?
Has it got anything good?
It's got some wacky posters and it's got various guitars that you would cover.
What would you kind of want?
You'd want stuffed naked ladies.
You'd want drugs paraphernalia, wouldn't you?
I guess so.
You'd want, I don't know, some dead groupies.
Little bits of mix.
Died, overdosed in the 70s.
That kind of thing.
You'd want them, the available members of the band in glass cases.
I got one of them.
Did you?
Bill Wyman.
he was there he was there wow he turned around it was it was a very quiet monday afternoon that we went along and uh this is with the children we took them out for a treat and um they were they were up for a burger so we went and had the burger quite a disgusting burger is it not very nice oh my lordy
it was ranked despite the fact that the restaurant has been rated as like one of the top really burger purveyors in London anyway maybe it was an off day but we turned round and suddenly there was Bill standing there and because I was thinking to myself I bet Bill doesn't come here and eat this this stuff he probably goes there but he doesn't I turned around and there he was standing there with his children mind you does he have teeth
oh but did he just mash it up like a tortoise someone mashes it up for him and then he has it through a straw no he's in good shape man he's in good shape is he in good shape yeah yeah he was he was looking pretty good actually yeah so i was impressed by that
Anyway, it got me thinking, like, maybe the whole theme restaurant thing should be due for a bit of a revival, because there haven't been too many.
You know, the last one I can think of was the Model Cafe, which was a bit of a disaster.
Yeah.
With Naomi Campbell and Elmer Ferson, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Cindy Colford.
Elmer Fudd.
Nice.
Yeah.
Very good.
So we were wondering, listeners, if you could come up with some ideas for more contemporaneous themed restaurants for celebrities.
We'd like you to think of a celebrity, think of the name of the name of their restaurant, what food they would serve and how they would decorate it.
For instance, Steven Spielberg had one, didn't he?
in hollywood did he yeah he had one it was called dive exclamation mark it didn't really connect to anything he'd done maybe it connected to sea quest dsv his executive produced stupid submarine thing he would have thought that he could have gone for so much else apart from that well in dive it was like you were in a submarine yes and then every every 15 20 minutes it went dive dive dive
And water all filled up in the windows.
Oh my lordy.
I've got another fun fact about that restaurant.
Thomas Dolby created music for it to be playing in the restaurant.
I'm pretty sure about that.
There's one in London called the Rainforest Cafe, isn't there, where there's a kind of a storm and gorillas.
That's not celebrity based.
Not really, no.
We want ideas for specifically celebrity based things.
So you've got Bill Wyman, obviously he's gone for Sticky Fingers.
That's the name of a Rolling Stones track, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure.
And it's good because it ties into food.
He's got all his bases covered there.
He's got good old American food, you know, burgers, rock and roll, food, that kind of thing.
He's got his memorabilia on the walls.
So that's the kind of thing we're after.
But different celebrity versions thereof.
Yeah, text 64046.
If you're listening to this, I'm listening again.
You can email Adam and Joe.6music at bbc.co.uk.
There'll be no prize and no competitive element to text the nation whatsoever.
We scorn competition here.
We hate it.
Everybody is equal.
Everyone hates competition.
Apart from the best one.
There's no absolute point to it whatsoever.
Now it's time, ladies and gentlemen, for some more great music.
Here's the cardigans.
BBC 6 Music.
On Digital.
Online.
BBC 6 Music.
You wrap me up, you spread me all around In the dust of a dinner time And this is not a case of lust, you see It's not a matter of you versus me It's fine the way you want me on your own
I'm losing my favorite game You're losing your mind again I'm losing my baby Losing my favorite game
So I could love you more I really thought that I could take you there But my experiment is not getting us anywhere I had a vision, I could turn you right A stupid mission and a legal fight I should have saved it when my hope was new
I'm losing my favorite game You're losing your mind again I'm losing my favorite game
Ah, yes, the cardigans with my favorite game.
That was the one with the lady in the car, she has a crash, mmm, she flies out of the car, ooh, onto the road.
It's exciting.
Does that happen in the video?
Don't you remember that one?
No.
It's a classic video.
Is it?
Nina Person.
Uh, I like that name, you know?
Nina Person.
It's like being called George Mann or something.
I watched The Invasion this week.
Well done.
It's a film with Nicole Kidman and Craig Fairbrass.
What's the name of the guy that plays James Bond?
It's Craig Fairbrass.
Anthony Stodgkins.
Anthony Daniels.
Jeremy Stodgkins.
Yeah, Tony Stodgkins.
Douglas Craig.
Big Head.
What's he called?
Daniel Craig.
Daniel Craig.
There you go.
The invasion's a film, What Went Wrong?
It was originally directed by Herschel Gordon Lewis, Michael Herschel, the guy that did, what was it called?
We're pretty on top of all the facts today, listeners.
The one about Hitler.
Downfall.
Yeah, he did that and he got headhunted by Hollywood and given a big remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers to make.
But then it all went wrong.
He started making a more serious film than the Hollywood suits wanted.
So they booted him off and bought in the Wacka Wacka Kowski brothers to try and zip it up a bit.
The creators of The Matrix, they shot some new stuff, used some innovative editing techniques to try and give it a bit of vim and pep.
Are they still using their little bullet time stuff in there?
No, their tactic for livening up the invasion is it's about a virus, as every film is these days, but their tactic for livening it up is every time anyone mentions the virus they go into the person's head and into their bloodstream and you see the globules of virus and then it goes
out of their heads again.
And they also cut forward in time.
They inter-cut little moments from scenes.
Like, what?
Who?
Just to get you confused and excited.
And the moments that are in the future, are they sort of desaturated and slightly blue?
No, no, no.
don't do anything it's all wrong but it's nevertheless has some pretty good bits in it right where you can see the director's original intentions coming through but my girlfriend and I became fascinated with Nicole Kidman's forehead right and Annabelle commented that it never moved I had a big argument with someone about this and she's right that's how she gets through Nicole Kidman films apparently watches the forehead and there is absolutely zero movement from
the eyebrows but before you tell me your thing yeah I'll just finish this thought so in the end we did notice that in one scene the left eyebrow raised very very slightly but it was down and then it cut away then it cut back and it was up so we think that they detach the eyebrows and that between takes you know they're raised the left ones raised a bit if something awful is happening
Right, a little bit like stop motion.
But this is why she plays robots and brainwash people the whole time.
I see ladies, yeah.
Because she's got very little.
No, absolutely no movement.
Facial range.
Well, my friend's theory was that she's had a lot of surgery.
Botox.
And a lot of botox in there.
And I said, no, not Kidman.
She must have done.
She's a natural beauty.
I've never seen less expression.
But then we started looking at Craig Fairbrass' eyebrows.
Yeah.
Daniel Craig.
John Duncan's.
Yeah.
And they weren't moving either.
Were they not?
So maybe this is just how to be a great screen actor.
To completely still face.
They do say stillness, don't they?
Absolutely, you've got to have the stillness.
Completely still face, no expression.
You see, Roger Moore, his eyebrows went up and down the whole time.
Right.
And he became a laughing stock.
Exactly.
No control over his eyebrows, but Kidman, to be a great actor, micromanages the eyebrows.
Yeah.
That's impressive stuff.
She's weird, isn't she, Kidman?
I saw her in the Golden Compass the other day.
And I guess she was pretty good, pretty well cast in that, because she plays a sort of ice queen person, you know?
She's good at that.
And that's about the limit of her abilities.
How many stinkers has she had in a row, though?
Ooh, ladies.
She's had so many stinkers.
We'll do some research.
It does a big stink trail.
She's leaving a trail of stench behind her that surely must have some repercussions soon.
You'd think.
Here's the music for you.
This is I Was a Cub Scout with Pink Squares.
I'll just turn back this evening Another hour for you to try and forget To try and correct your mistakes And yes I know I'm wrong But there's two sides to every story
We are not the same And we will never feel the same
And darling, I apologise I need you more than anything Please come back with me tonight Oh, am I in trouble?
Darling, I apologise I need you more than anything Please don't ever leave my side
You know I should've stayed untoward But oh, I bought my shoes and I left the room singing Oh, oh, oh, what can I do?
And oh, there's nothing too far away
Bein' anything Please come back with me tonight Am I in trouble?
Darling, I don't hold a choice I miss you Bein' anything Please don't ever leave me
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
Text the nation time.
Before that you heard I was a cub scout with pink squares.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC six music and we have some of your suggestions for celebrity restaurants.
Yes, Adam.
Thanks very much.
Here are some of the texts that have just come in.
Neil in Leeds.
He's 68 minutes into his bed in.
Is he?
Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it?
Good job, man.
I wish I was there with you, Neil in Leeds.
Do you?
Well, yeah, I mean, he sounds nice.
I bet his bed's comfy.
Mmm.
You know, Gordon Ramsay could have a blue-coloured establishment where he sells, wait for it, FOOD!
Whilst he swears indiscriminately at any and every poor soul who has the misfortune to cross his foul-mouthed path, he could call it Angry Gordon's Blue Resturant.
Right, nice.
What is Ramsay's real restaurant called?
Is it, er...?
Carriages.
Is it clar- no, it's- which one is it?
It's called Globodyne.
Globodyne.
The evil restaurant.
It's on a space station.
Yeah.
Welcome to Globodyne.
And it's got robots and they, uh- Sure it does.
They've got lasers, they kill you if you don't like your food.
There are topless girls with silver on them dancing in tubes with air.
Globodyne.
Jetting upwards from the- I love that restaurant.
What's that?
It's the one in, uh- That's the one in, uh, Outland, isn't it?
What?
If you could visit any science fiction or restaurant, I'd visit the one in Outland.
With girls in tubes?
Yeah, baby.
Are you not confusing that with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
No.
Augustus Gloop getting stuck in the chocolate tube?
No, come on.
Someone out there will know what I'm talking about.
Here's one.
This was inevitable.
This is an anonymous one.
Come to Docherty's Junkie Food Restaurant.
There you go.
No food served.
Rock stars don't eat.
No memorabilia on the walls.
Only blood.
Yeah, nice.
Because everyone's nicked all the memorabilia and sold it for crack, presumably.
Dan in Birmingham.
How about Oasis start up a soup kitchen called Do You Want to Roll With It?
That's good.
Come on.
Is that quite good?
That's good.
I don't know.
That's got a sort of Christmas- If you want to roll with it, I like that one.
Who's that, Dan in Birmingham?
Yeah.
Dan, if we had a prize, you'd get one.
Hey, it's only the third text.
Still, I don't believe it's going to get better than Do You Want to Roll With It?
Steve in St.
Neots.
Is that a place called that?
That's good.
It's like Neo from the Matrix.
The Kaiser Chiefs could open an all-you-can-eat curry house called Ruby Ruby Ruby Rubies.
Nice.
Yeah?
That is good, man.
I don't get that.
What's the curry house connection?
What do you think?
Ruby Curry?
Oh, is that a type of curry?
I don't really eat curry.
Here's another one from Rusty.
Brad Pitt should open an all-you-can-eat buffet called The Bottomless Pit.
Nice.
I like it because he doesn't have much of a bottom.
no oh you were thinking about it from quite a different angle i know it's like all you can eat but your stomach is a bottomless pit but the actual literal reading of the phrase would be bottomless pit yeah without a bottom
And a wool shop called Pit Knits, where he can make and sell bottomless merch.
That's nice.
That's short for merchandise.
That's from Rusty.
Very good.
That's good.
He does have a very small bottom, doesn't he?
In Thelma and Louise.
Have we seen it?
The bottom?
In Thelma and Louise you see his bottom.
Is it nude?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Really?
It's nice.
Is it?
Yeah.
Is it as nice as Michael Douglas's bottom in, um... Is it Basic Instinct where he... And it's like... You see his bottom in almost all his films, don't you?
It's like two skin-coloured hot water bottles hung from a belt.
Is it?
I like it.
That's what my face is coming into.
Keep those coming in please.
The text number is 64046 celebrity restaurants, the food they'd serve and the decor and stuff.
Can you say it with a little bit more enthusiasm please?
I'm just being cool.
With a six music it's cool.
Is it?
It's cool to be bored.
Bored of the world.
Here's a track that I've chosen for you, listeners.
And this happens to be coming out this week, I think, as a single.
How boring.
And the album comes out later on in the month.
And it's by a young lady.
I think her name is pronounced Tau.
T-H-A-O.
Maybe it's Thao.
And where is she from?
I forget.
But she's from America somewhere.
And this is a really nice album.
It's called something like The Bees and The Stings or it's got bees in it.
Anyway, this is the single from the album.
Hope you enjoy it.
This is Bag of Hammers.
I am all in a ball in your front yard I have this bag of hammers And I won't ask to come in Cause I have sold everything, still I have
I've got some manners And there's a hole in your head Spilled your thoughts on the floor We wanted you bad You wanted it more The trick is You do not get on that interstate bus The catch is
You stay and see what becomes of us Shake, shake, shake, shake the painless heart Distress the word, make it shout, ha ha
Doesn't it like a lick of ice cream?
I am holding a ball in your front yard I have this bag of hammers And I won't ask to come in, cause I have sold everything Still I have hooked up some hammers Shake, shake, shake the frame of this house This dress of wood makes it sharp
I think it still suits you, doesn't it?
Like a liquefied spree Shake, shake, shake, shake the grave of this house
shake the frame of this house distress the words make it shout ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Where did you go to school?
Letchworth, Kingston town.
Is it very nice?
Do they speak in Patois at your school?
Monterey Bay is his maker.
Yeah, I thought so.
Jack's Rib Shack on the beach.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
God, that's so funny.
That's how I think you should talk, cos you probably went to some really posh school.
Listen, my mum thinks I should talk properly as well.
But you're 28 and you're not taking me at all anymore, yeah!
You're absolutely right.
Fine.
It's a bane of my life, everybody, why don't you speak properly?
Yeah.
But I don't.
Because you're a rebel.
Because I... You just don't care.
Hey, listen, you're straight.
George Lamb's back, Monday morning from 10.
I'm so straight, you're down.
Big tings of bois.
Six music.
Adam and Joe.
What you hear is not a test, I'm rapping to the beat.
And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet.
You see, I am Wonder Mike and I like to say hello.
Up to the black, to the white, the red and the brown, to the purple and yellow.
But first I gotta bang, bang, the boogie to the boogie, say up jump the boogie to the bang, bang, boogie, let's rock, you don't stop.
Come on and sing that song.
Check it out.
I'm the C-A-S-N, the O-V-A, and the rest is F-L-Y.
You see, I go by the code of the doctor of the migs.
And these reasons, I'll tell you why.
You see, I'm six foot one, and I'm tons of fun.
And I guess, to a D. You see, I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali.
And I dress so viciously.
I got bodyguards.
I got two big cars.
I definitely ate the whack.
I got a Lincoln Continental and some new Cadillac.
So after school, I tell you,
Take a dip in the pool, which is really on the wall.
I got a color TV so I can see the Knicks play basketball.
Hear me talk on my checkbook, credit cards, more money than a sucker could ever spend.
But I wouldn't give a sucker or a pug from the rocket, not a dime till I made it again.
Everybody go, oh, tell, oh, tell, what you gonna do today?
Cause I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spang to drive off in a death OJ.
Everybody go.
Well it's on and on and on and on and on and on The beat don't stop until the break of dawn I said a M-A-S, a T-E-R, a G with a double E I said I'd go by the unforgettable name of the man they call a Master G Well, my name is known all over the world By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls I'm going down in history as
the best the best
fingers and stomping your feet and moving your body while you're sitting in your seat and then damn they start doing the freak i said bam a rider out of your seat then you throw your hands high in the air you rock it to the rhythm shake your derriere you rock it to the beat without a care cause the show shot emcees for the affair now i'm not as tall as the rest of the gang but i rap to the beat just to say i got a little face and a pair of brine eyes all i'm here to do ladies is hypnotize singing on and on and on and on the beat don't stop until the break of dawn i sing
I guess by now you can take a hunch And find that I am the baby of the bunch But that's okay, I still keep in stride Cause all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind Sing it on and on and on and on The beat don't stop until the break of dawn Sing it on and on and on and on Right rock yo, a good on the floor I'm gonna freak you here, I'm gonna freak you there I'm gonna move you out of this act
Give me what you got cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock.
Just making out as they go along.
Yeah.
That's another example of this new wave of music that's coming across from America.
It's called rap hop.
It's really exciting.
Rhythm and poetry.
That's the Sugarhill Gang, of course, with Rappers Delight.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Yeah, so if Claire Scothern is listening, is that right?
S-C-O-T-H-E-R-N.
Claire Scothern, I'm not sure where you are.
You're probably in your house.
Can you see a man called Alan Hobbs?
Have a look with your eyes around the place.
You might spot a bloke called Alan Hobbs in your vicinity.
He would like us to help him propose to you.
He wants to marry you up.
He wants to do the marriage thing.
Marriage you all over the shops.
And now listen, is she called Susan?
Claire.
Claire.
That's not a good start, is it?
It's a good question, though.
Is she called Susan?
No, she's not.
She's called Claire.
It's the kind of thing you've got to check before you go into the marriage.
Yeah, make sure you get the right bird.
If you think it's Susan, wrong.
You shouldn't be getting married.
It's Claire.
Now, this is for the rest of your lives, okay?
And I know celebrities and people like this... Or such time as you wish to blast her into space.
I like using the Flash Gordon marriage vows.
Listen, if you are going to blast her into space, that's one thing.
But if it's just some smutty affair or you just lose interest or you're not prepared to do the work that goes into a successful marriage, then I don't want you to enter into this contract.
Imagine then now if they're listening to this.
Hopefully you are listening.
Right.
He's just proposed all over your face.
Right.
What are you going to do about that?
Claire wouldn't amazing this could I be crying and hugging yeah maybe they're punching each other maybe maybe they're just confused she's like what you who knows I could just be awkward silence how lovely of you to ask to have asked us Alan to help you and we're very pleased to help with that engagement she says yes or no yeah exactly would like to hear about that she might just be sort of staring off pretending she didn't hear
Like really washing the dishes.
Oh these dishes are very, stop talking, stop talking Claire, listen to the radio, no it's okay, the dishes need to be done, you know, don't worry about it, I've got to go out, bye!
Well, congratulations if you do say yes and it's exciting.
Let us know what happened.
Well done.
We'd love to know how it all turned out.
And if anyone else out there... Call us in 40 years, tell us how it's gone.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, would like us to help out with any wedding proposals, that kind of thing.
We could also marry you.
I'm sure we could get the right paperwork to do all that marriage kind of stuff.
You know, that wouldn't be a problem.
I'm like a priest.
It's time for the news now, here on 6music, read by Harvey Cook.
BBC News at 10.30.
I'm Harvey Cook.
The Ministry of Defence says it's treating with the utmost seriousness the loss of a laptop containing the personal details of 600,000 people.
Information about recruits or potential recruits to the armed forces includes passport numbers and bank account details.
The computer was stolen from a car in Birmingham.
Simon Davies from the campaign group Privacy International says the government must take more responsibility for looking after people's information.
Why was it necessary that so many records were centralized in the laptop?
I don't care whether it was left in the booth or just walk down the street.
I think what people are doing in government is saying, well, the information is there so I'm going to grab it.
You never know, it could be useful at 10.30 when I'm sort of doing my trawl.
Next on 6music, investigators looking into Thursday's crash landing at Heathrow say it happened because the engines failed.
Teams have spent a second night looking at the wreckage of the Boeing 777.
Gordon Brown has indicated that he would prefer Northern Rock to be sold to a private bidder rather than be nationalised.
The government has decided to extend and improve the financial support from taxpayers to any private sector rescue of the bank.
and the PM's now in Shanghai on the latest leg of his visit to China.
He'll be signing an agreement which will see British companies help to build an environmentally friendly city.
Two crew members have been found dead on a ship in Dover.
Kent police say they're treating the deaths as unexplained.
Sport, Newcastle face Bolton in the Premier League later.
It's Kevin Keegan's first match in charge since he returned to St.
James's Park.
The top two sides are also in action.
Manchester United travel to Reading.
while Arsenal face Fulham at Craven Cottage and the SPL second place Celtic are at home to Kilmarnock now with Six Music News.
Ruth Barnes.
Six Music News.
An update on the Grammys first.
As previously reported on Six Music News, there is a question mark as to whether the event will take place next month because of the American writers' strike.
Well now the Recording Academy is asking its members to sign a petition urging the Writers Guild of America to strike a deal, which would grant a waiver to striking writers, allowing them to work on the show.
The Writers Guild, however, say an agreement is unlikely.
In other 6music news, Brighton indie rockers British Seapower will be watching the album chart tomorrow.
Their new album Do You Like Rock Music was released this week.
It's the follow up to 2005's Open Season.
Guitarist Noble says one of the lines in their single, Waving Flags, has been causing some confusion.
He explained the idea behind the lyrics, you are astronomical fans of alcohol.
Which is from a Tottenham Hotspur v Slavia Prague football match and the Slavia Prague fans had this big banner saying fans of alcohol, which is kind of, it didn't seem like thugs who were just having a laugh.
It just seemed to fit in with how we see things.
Finally, Pete Doherty's been asked to help publicise the plight of a German soccer club which is facing bankruptcy.
Doherty supported local team KFC Erdingen when he lived at a British army base near the city of Krefeld as a boy.
So the club's officials have now asked Doherty to visit next week when baby shambles play cologne.
It's a bid to increase ticket sales.
That's six music news on X Bulletin's at 11.30.
On the Music Week this week we unveil the Six Music Festival Manifesto.
Find out what the brains behind Glastonbury, Bestival and more made of your suggestions for improving festivals.
And we chat to Kaiser Chief's Ricky Wilson.
That's the Music Week with me Julie Cullen and Matt Everett.
Tomorrow from 1.
Joe's on six music
Textination!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Textination!
What if I don't want to?
Textination!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
It takes the nation time.
Before that you heard Tear Drop explodes with reward.
This is Adam and Joe on six music.
Max Ellis says, hello Adam and Joe.
I'd like to visit a Radiohead themed restaurant called In Rainbows.
The building would be a giant fibreglass rainbow trout and diners would have to dress in worm costumes.
There would be piped ambient digesting noises to accompany the eating experience.
Food would be weed-based confections.
Does he... What sort of a weed does he mean there?
Garden weeds.
Weed... Well, no, no, because you're undersea, right?
Oh, seaweed.
Yeah, so it's like in rainbows.
I have to go back... Oh, yeah.
He's building a bed for a five-year-old called Gulliver.
That's a good name.
Yeah.
What do you think about that for the Radiohead restaurant?
That's nice, man.
It's elaborate.
It's realistic as well.
I'm sure that the band would be into that, definitely.
Wouldn't you think?
I don't know.
I don't know as much about them as you do.
I don't know much about them.
But yeah, that's good, man.
Who was that from?
That was from Max Ellis.
Well done, Max.
Well done, Max.
Here's another one.
How about Pete?
He's another Pete Dougherty one.
Yeah.
Have we not got any Amy Winehouse ones?
Not yet, no.
Pete Dougherty's cracker den serving a wide range of cheese and biscuits.
I thought of that one as well, yeah.
Did you?
Oh, did I?
No, no, no, I was thinking of Jerry Seinfeld, he would have wise crackers.
That's from, nice, that's from Andrew Thomas.
That's all that would be on the menu.
Here's one I like a lot from Mick Ailing.
Stephen Hawking's food and physics restaurant.
The diners sit in chairs, just like Stephen's, and order their food via his patented talking-type pad.
Rather than the normal table-based dining experience, the diners drive around the restaurant eating their meal from their labs.
Every half an hour the siren goes, then for five minutes everyone charges around in a massive game of dodrums.
I like that.
I had Stephen Hawking down.
I had Stephen Hawking on my list.
I was thinking of... Wait!
The restaurant would be called a brief history of T-H-Y-M-E time.
Nice!
Love the show and my mum, says Mick Ailing.
That's very good.
All bass is covered there.
I was hoping that maybe someone would send in a suggestion for a Russell Crowe-themed restaurant of some kind.
What would that be?
Well, I haven't got any ideas.
It'd be very, like, gruff, abusive service.
There'd be punch-ups.
Exactly.
You'd get slapped if you, you know, took too long to order, that kind of thing.
Yeah.
Waiters would push you around.
You'd say, hello, what are the specials?
What do you want?
Just hurry up, mate.
I haven't got all day.
That kind of thing.
It would be like a lot of steak.
You know, very rare steak.
Be a big, rare steak restaurant and you'd carry your knife around.
I wonder what Kidman's theme restaurant would be like as well.
I don't know.
Any suggestions, listeners?
Here's one from William Ross.
I like this.
It's a very stripped down email.
It says Peas Academy.
Peas-based dinners served by Steve Gutenberg.
Space, then the word Terminator.
Space, then his name, Will.
Gordon Ramsay, it turns out, has about eight or nine or ten even restaurants dotted around the world, all of which have many Michelin stars.
His latest is a new one that's opening this week, I think, and it's called, check this out,
foxtrot oscar because that's like saying f off oh is it yes ah that's brilliant well done ramsey is that all there is to his bag of tricks yeah more than we've got i suppose he's the swearing chef something he's got the michelin stars though he didn't get those for swearing michlin
What would our theme restaurant be like?
We'd just serve sour grapes, wouldn't we?
No, we'd do combo platters, you know?
Yeah, Adam and Joe would be all about twinned up stuff.
It would be like children's food, maybe, wouldn't it?
Yeah, that's right.
For the very young.
We need to think about that a bit, I think.
Keep those texts coming in, the text number is 64046 or you can email them adamandjoe.6musicatpbc.co.uk, something like that.
And we are going to unveil our new songs for this week's Song Wars after this next track.
This is Feist, this is presumably her new single is it?
After the intoxicating one, two, three, four, this is an ad for an iPod, this one is called My Moon, My Man.
My moon, my man, so changeable and Such a loveable land to me My care, my code, leap on a high note There's nowhere to go but on Heart on my sleeve, not where it should be The songs I don't care, again My bones, my face, what day are the things?
Is the calendar page again?
Take it slow, take it easy on me Shed some light, shed some light on me please Take it slow, take it easy on me Shed some light, shed some light on me please
Not as good as we've been It's the dirtiest clean, I know Might care, might come Leave on a high note There's nowhere to go There's nowhere to go Take it slow Take it easy on me And shed some light Shed some light on me, please Take it slow Take it easy on me And shed some light Shed some light on me
It's time for song Wars, it is the song Wars, time for some song Wars, song, song, song, song It's a battle between two songs One song and two songs War, war, war, war The songs are composed by Adam and Jo themselves And inspired by a given theme
We play clips, and the listeners choose which one they like And the winning song will be played at the end
Yeah, that was the original Song Wars jingle.
Here's an email pertaining to it from Neil Littlejohns.
Hi Adam and Joe, I seem to have a bit of a problem related to your original Song Wars song, based on the Star Wars theme.
My flatmate and I are currently playing through Lego Star Wars, the complete saga together, after a friend of mine gave me the game for Christmas.
The game makes very heavy use of the theme, but every time it plays, I can't help but sing the lyrics from your Song Wars theme.
I don't I don't particularly mind this but I think my flatmate might be getting a little bit fed up with me singing song song song song song is that how it goes?
All the time That's fair enough.
I would say stop it.
That would be my advice Do you think there is a way for me to disassociate the song wars lyrics from the Star Wars theme or will I forever sing?
You're discarded
lyrics whenever I hear the theme.
Well, you should write new lyrics yourself that would fit with the Star Wars theme, you know?
Turn them into such an enjoyable little ditty that that will forever be what you sing when you hear the Star Wars theme.
I mean, you know, before we crapped all over it, it was Star Wars.
Star Wars, right?
That's what you would sing to yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those are the official lyrics of Star Wars.
Hey, have you checked out the Family Guy version of Star Wars?
No, I'm boycotting that.
Really?
Why?
I'm not a big Family Guy fan.
Neither am I, but that's funny.
Is it?
It's worth downloading.
There's some funny bits.
Right.
I pop my head out of the window.
Yeah, you can't tell that that's funny, but in context it's very funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, I recommend it.
Don't pay any money for it.
No.
Just watch it on YouTube.
Borrow it from a friend.
Borrow it from a friend whose name you don't know, who lives on the other side of the world, who's got a computer.
Here's another song wars related email.
Hi Adam and Joe, last week you read out a text from my sister Lily where she complained about Joe's alleged cheating on song wars.
Since she heard her name on the radio, she's been walking around like she's Queen Latifah.
Can you please read this out to prove that you'll read any old rubbish and help reset the siblingly balance of power?
That's from Nick.
Yes, I did it.
Maybe she is Queen Latifah.
You ever think of that?
How does Queen Latifah walk anyway?
She's certainly sassy.
She's got a big booty.
Yeah, you know she wanders around as if she owns the whole area.
Yeah, she's a queen after all.
Exactly.
Queen of the Latifahs.
If only she was the queen.
If only she was, there'd be a whole lot more booty shaking going on at Da Palace.
And Wills and Harry, they would be more... They're like that already though, aren't they?
Okay, so Song Wars this week.
Now the theme, correct me if I'm wrong Joe, but it's certainly what I constructed my song about, was instructional songs for children.
Yeah, I've got the original email here somewhere.
We sort of deviated from that email somewhat.
Someone suggested last week a kind of Danny Elfman thing for children.
Yeah, here we go.
We haven't really stuck to the Danny Elfman thing.
James.
James Houston from Scotland.
Why not have a Song Wars in the style of a Danny Elfman-ish Disney song for kids?
talking through some of the more mature themes that you've discussed in your feature today so we kind of yeah we strayed from that a bit we we settled on instructional children's songs right yes so songs for children that have some element of a sort of educational element and yours is 40 minutes it's 40 minutes no it's not it's it's like one 150 150 is it
147.
You see, that's quite long, is it?
Well, you see, I got some very negative reactions for going over the two-minute mark last week.
Ooh, lordy, people didn't like that.
Not for me.
No, no, no, you were nice about it.
But I reined myself in and I went back to the, what I consider to be the core of the Song Wars ethos, which is something very short pithy.
I went for the one-minuter.
I actually used a backing track from GarageBand this time.
So the whole thing is all... A little bit lazy.
You shouldn't even admit that, should I?
But I did some... So it's not composed, it's sort of... Yeah, it's ready-made.
But it's one that you used before yourself, actually.
Did I?
Yeah, yeah.
You used it for the... You did your stadium Bowie thing for... Oh, the Meatballs song?
Meatballs, yeah.
Is that allowed?
Yeah, that's allowed.
Anything's allowed musical-wise, musical construction-wise.
It's just bringing in more than one song that is not allowed.
Clearly.
So anyway, shall I play mine first?
Why not?
I'm hot for it.
I'm pretty not confident.
You know I've got used to the whole world of loserdom.
Don't start now.
What?
I said you're making and then made a noise.
Yeah, we know what that means.
We know it means that I'm not allowed to say absolutely anything because you think it'll prejudice the vote even though I'm doomed to lose every week anyway.
You're doing very well.
It's like 4-6, isn't it?
Or something?
No, it's not 4-6.
Isn't it?
No.
It's 7-3 or something like that.
It's more like 8-3, I think.
Is it 8-3?
Yeah.
Anyway, so here is my song.
This is an instructional song for children and it's about, well, it's fairly self-explanatory.
It's called Toothpaste Brush.
Every morning you should get a little toothpaste And pop it on the bristles on your brush Then get to work with the brush and the toothpaste Cleaning off the dirt, no need to rush I care so much for the health of my gums and teeth That I have a brushing session after eating every meal And I also use some floss and somehow wash
Apart from cutting down on expensive dentist bills This routine keeps my breath smelling nice And of course I have to say that there's nothing worse than $20k Look out for your teeth, that's my advice
An electric toothbrush is what dentists recommend.
Just go easy or you'll mess up the enamel.
Come on meatballs!
Sorry.
No well you know I think I was a little more adventurous with that.
That was good, that was good.
Than you were with your meatballs.
Yeah.
Bowie yodeling one.
But anyway, there you go, that's Adam Buxton's one, toothpaste brush.
What have you got for us, Joe Cornish?
I've got a song designed to teach kids right from wrong.
Oh my Lord, that's a big subject.
It is.
You know people are always complaining that kids don't know right from wrong?
They've forgotten the distinction between right or wrong.
These days.
Yeah, they're doing some really upsetting things.
They're crossing lines that kids might not have crossed in the past.
Right.
And they've just forgotten right from wrong.
Okay, good.
So you're going to sort that out for them?
I'm going to fix that.
Excellent.
It's a bit strong, this song.
Is it?
Yeah, it's a bit strict and harsh.
Well, you got to be strict with children these days.
Yeah, so imagine me singing it in like a big knitted jumper.
Like Nick Hayward?
Yeah, or like, like a sort of grey, like Nick Hayward now, like slightly greying Nick Hayward.
Right, okay.
A kind fatherly figure.
Nick Hayward crossed with Val Dunican.
Yeah, I'm singing the verse and then the chorus is sung by a big crowd of people and kids and the actual chorus line is sung by a chicken.
Okay.
Like a Cajun chicken.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
This is good man, I can't wait to hear this.
It's important that you visualise a Cajun chicken.
Alright then.
So this is called the right and wrong song.
Is it right to join a gang?
Is it right to kill a man?
Is it right to buy a gun?
Is stabbing people fun?
It's wrong!
This is the song about writing a line.
And those things are wrong.
This is the song about writing a line.
Is it right to read and write?
Is it right to be polite?
Is it right to work at school?
Don't ever play the fool?
It's right!
This is the song about
Is it right to have a smoke?
Light a spliff or sniff some coke?
Is it right to deal crack?
There's nothing wrong with that!
This is a song about right and wrong Is it right to sit up straight?
Is it right to clean your plate?
Is it right to clean your room?
Learn facts about the moon?
It's right This is a song about wrong and right Those things are right This is a song about wrong and right Is it right to happy slap?
Is it right to pla-pla-plat?
Is it right to trash your place?
Put your party on MySpace?
It's right
So that's for kids and you know you can listen to it and then guess whether you think the things are right or wrong right right and then like the crap they go right it's right or it's wrong depending on whether it's right or wrong and then in future life if you come across any of those situations like if you're offered
membership of a gang, or drugs.
You can think back to the right or wrong song.
That's the idea.
Does it help you with your teeth at all?
It doesn't, no.
No, it doesn't, does it?
That's where, yeah, that's where your skin is the upper hand.
That's where mine comes in, yeah.
And what's more useful at the end of the day if you're sitting there, if you've got severe tooth decay, if you've just had, you know, you've spent the weekend with a rubber dam in your mouth and you're having all kinds of root canal.
What's a rubber dam?
Well, you'll find out if you don't take care of your teeth.
You will become familiar.
I'm familiar with the world of the rubber dam, my friend.
And then you won't be singing your chicken song so much anymore.
I can't believe I'm going to have to sit there next week and listen to that chicken song again from Joe Cornish.
The chicken song.
That's who's singing it.
You said that the cajun chicken.
I'm going to have to listen to that again, aren't I, next week?
We're going to have to listen to them again before the end of the show even.
Not that it's a foregone conclusion or anything.
Absolutely not.
But that was Song Wars for the time being.
We will return.
I'd say you're bound to win.
You reckon?
Because I've been cast in the light of like an evil something.
You see, you're the worst winner in the world.
You win week after week and you sulk and you complain.
And then complain about winning.
Want to lose.
I want to lose.
Right, right.
I want to feel what it's like to lose.
Here we go.
OK.
Music time, listeners.
This is Sylvia Striplin.
Is this new music?
This is mine.
Oh, this is yours.
Watch out before you hurt me even more.
Come on then.
Yeah, this is, this is, I like this one.
It's by Sylvia Striplin.
It's called You Can't Turn Me Away.
And I propose that this has the most satisfying sort of squidgy bass line ever.
When is this from, date-wise?
The past.
The past.
I love that place.
Here we go.
Thanks for watching!
Don't try, don't you turn me on
Don't try, don't try, don't try But you put me down Just because
You came around and I said that you can't Turn me away, turn me away Hey, hang on in your heart I'll always wanna say you can't Turn me away, turn me away Hey, hang on in your heart I'll always wanna say
In your heart, I'm the best for you.
So don't try, don't try, don't try to turn me away.
Don't try to put me down.
Turn me away, turn me away Turn me away, turn me away Turn me away, turn me away
You said we weren't allowed to use that again.
It's just a mind probe.
Remember what happened last time you used it?
That was different.
That species has extremely high blood pressure.
Oh right, their heads must explode all the time.
Alone, they're only human.
Please, I don't know anything.
Together, they're Torchwood.
When are the others coming?
They're already here.
Torchwood, Wednesday at 9 on BBC2.
Adam and Joe from Six Music.
Our teenage dreams are hard to beat Every time she walks down the street Another girl in the neighborhood When she was mine, she looked so good I wanna hold her, wanna hold her tight Yeah, teenage kicks right through the night
I don't want to hold her tight Every teenage kicks right through the night Our teenage dreams are hard to beat Every time she walks down the street
That teenage kicks right through the night I'm gonna call her on the telephone Never over cause I'm all alone I need excitement, oh I need it bad And it's the best I've ever had I wanna hold her, wanna hold her tight That teenage kicks right through the night
Hold her tight and teenage kicks right through the night
The Undertones with Teenage Kicks.
I was always confused by Fergal Sharky when he was around.
You know, I didn't know about the... Actually, no, my first exposure to The Undertones was a track called Julie Ocean or something like that.
It was just after Teenage Kicks.
And It's Gonna Happen.
Do you remember that one?
That was a good track as well.
And then when Fergal came back with A Good Heart, It's Hard To Come By.
You used to like that one, didn't you, Joe?
Erm, kinda.
You loved it.
I didn't.
I don't own it.
I think my brother had it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I never bought it.
yeah it was good but i could never get over his cheekbones man he's quite a proposition isn't he he's got a very particular voice very kind of warbly high-pitched voice and then then with the cheekbones with the cheekbone with the cheekbones in there with this guy
I logged onto a celebrity gossip video site last week called TMZ.
Have you heard of that?
I've heard of TMZ.
It's a big noise in America.
If you want like celebrity tittle-tattle, you go to TMZ and it has all the latest paparazzi video footage from the streets of LA.
What does TMZ stand for?
Totally mad, mad, zebras.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Anyway, I saw a headline.
It said Seinfeld.
He's not only funny,
or something i thought good some seinfeld gossip it was a video of jerry seinfeld outside of premiere in new york uh he's standing in the street matthew broderick comes out jerry seinfeld says to matthew broderick hey matthew you got a ride matthew broderick says i i did have i don't know where it is jerry seinfeld goes here there goes the kayak
get into the car it's the end that was the yeah that was it that's what you want isn't it someone had posted that yeah it was a big headline right you know i thought i was gonna get news but it was just them was that youtube no that's on their own site tmz that's a big tmz scoop broderick signfield exchange words get into car but could you see how many hits that had
No, I better have millions though.
Yeah, because you go on you search for similar sort of things on YouTube and there was one that purported to be someone getting into a fight with maybe Bruce Willis's mind or or something like that and Basically, it was just some guy trailing along and it's Kiefer Sutherland's.
That's right.
Kiefer Sutherland's security guy and this guy's sort of trailing along Behind him and this thing has got thousands and thousands hundreds of thousands of hits.
I'm thinking well, this will be good and
So check it out, and it's just this guy sitting there going, Excuse me, can I get a photo of Kiefer, please?
And the guy's saying, No, can you leave him alone, please?
Um, please, can I... Listen, buddy, leave him alone, otherwise I'm going to have to get rough with you, okay?
I don't want to do that.
Please, come on, come on, man.
Just leave it alone, okay?
and that sounds good man.
Where's that YouTube?
Are you writing that one down underneath the ash note?
What should I search for?
Kiefer, security guy, ruckus, that kind of thing but that's all you ever get on those things.
I thought you know the thought process in my head was why would people be interested in Seinfeld and Broderick like doing something completely boring just because they're famous.
Is it interesting just to see famous people doing mundane things?
Then I thought yes it is.
That's celebrity big brother isn't it?
That's true, isn't it?
Famous people are like weird cartoon characters.
You know what I was thinking about the other night was when I was reading my son a bedtime story, I was thinking how amazing it would be to see someone like Harrison Ford reading a bedtime story to his children.
You know what I mean?
How amazing it would be to be there if you could kind of teleport into the brain of his child and hear some really rubbish children's story read in that voice.
He wouldn't be very interested, would he, in the story?
No, but he'd just be kind of bored.
You reckon?
You don't think he'd put his all into it?
No, that's his bag.
He's like Anthony Hopkins, you know?
Imagine getting a bedtime story from Hoppo.
The kids probably have to pay.
Yeah, they'd probably be traumatized afterwards no matter what it was.
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
Wow.
Or De Niro.
Has De Niro even got children?
You know, I'd like to be read a bedtime story by Adam Buxton.
oh yeah can you imagine yeah i do all the voices it's good it's good i bet it's good i'm reading harry potter to them at the moment and uh we're talking about we mentioned jk rowling earlier on boy when you read it out loud it's not very easy to read she i mean she's got an amazing imagination and everything and all credit to her wonderful stories etc but brother she sometimes her prose is a little elliptical that's all i'm saying
But if anyone's interested in me reading some children's stories, I'd be very happy to come into a studio and get paid loads of money.
Do you think we could do that together, don't you think?
We should do that together.
Funny voices we would come up with, you know?
Would you be any good at writing the stories?
Yes.
You reckon you could write some stories?
Yes.
It's not that easy.
Oh yes it is for me.
You reckon?
Yeah.
Maybe we should do that next week.
Forget the song, we'll just bring in some children's stories.
They only need to be about 200, 300 words.
Let's think about that.
You know, if you hook up with a good illustrator, 200 words.
That's all you need.
Illustrator?
Yeah, boy.
You could do your own pictures.
You're good at drawing.
You're talking about actually publishing books now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone thinks about it.
Do you ever see that episode of Black Books where they try and write children's books?
That's a good episode.
Anyway.
Uh, boy, we really rambled all over the area there.
Uh, let's have some more music now.
This is the Mighty Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
Disappointment came to me and rooted me and bruised and hurt me That's how people go on That's how people go on I was wasting my time looking for love
Someone must look at me and see their sunlit dream I was wasting my time, praying for love For a love that never comes from someone who does not exist and
Always thinking about myself Someone on the deathbed said there are other souls too I was driving my car I crashed and broke my spine So yes, there are things worse in life than never being
That's Morrissey with That's How People Grow Up.
That's a new one from Mighty Mozz, right?
Racist.
Racist.
Yeah, there you go.
I don't know what I'm talking about, by the way.
No, exactly.
Now, I have a little quandary, Joe.
I want to run this past you, OK?
Sure.
and can i ask you while i'm running this quandary by you please don't start leaning into the mic and saying things like adam buckston talking not joe cornish that kind of thing okay not that this is going to be particularly controversial it's just you've done it for me anyway it's just a little grubby um i found this website right that uh has all these kind of classic films and amazing documentaries and stuff on it but it also has classic filth on there you know what i mean yeah filth of yore when when filth was fun
Particularly enticing was a filthy version of Alice in Wonderland, which I've actually heard of before on my travels and it looks pretty amazing.
You know, like really well made filth about Alice in Wonderland.
What more could you want?
This is live action.
This is live action, yeah.
And so I was thinking, that would be great.
I would love to see the filthy version of Alice in Wonderland.
But then, on the next page when I was looking through the documentaries and stuff on there, they also had... Is this a DVD site?
Yeah, yeah, DVDs.
They also had The Sorrow and the Pity.
Right.
And I was thinking, I've never seen that.
It's not that arousing.
Well, no, exactly.
But I really want to see it, right?
So I wanted to order both titles at the same time, but I thought, you can't do that.
It's totally disrespectful.
You know?
That's outrageous.
You can't order the Sorrow and the Pity and the filthy version of Alice in Wonderland.
What's the filthy version of Alice in Wonderland called?
I don't know.
It's just, uh... I don't think it's got a particularly ingenious filthy title.
Alice in Bumderland.
Something like that, you know?
Um... Listen, as you can suggest some titles just for our own amusement.
What's wrong with Alice in Bumderland?
Alice in Bumderland?
I wouldn't buy it if it was called Alice in Bumderland.
That just sounds rubbish.
But anyway, maybe it was just called Filthy Alice or something, I don't know.
But I was, you know, it's a bit of a quandary because, you know, if you, the obvious solution is to order them separately, but then you have to pay extra posts and packaging.
What's happening in your head?
What do you imagine is happening in the office of Dirty Videos Incorporated when they receive your order?
What do you think?
Picture the scene.
I mean, what's your nightmare scenario?
Well, I hope... Your mum?
has got a part-time job there yeah that's the worst it could be right she's sorting through the orders and she's reading them all really carefully because she loves her job yeah and ooh thomas turner has ordered yeah and making judgments about is that what you're afraid of
No, I just think it's a sort of totally metaphysical quandary that I have.
Like, I'm not even worried that I would get busted or anything.
Like, I don't think I would go on any lists.
It's all above board.
But it just seems wrong.
Morally.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Right.
To order those two titles together.
I think, okay, let me sort it out this way, that in times of war, there is a lot of sexual activity.
In fact, during 9-11, you know, when the world changed, there was a big birth boom and a marriage boom.
Equally, you know, during the Second and First World Wars, there was a big baby boom.
People like to, you know, counteract the violence and death with pleasure and birth.
Look at it that way.
i will look at it it's a twin pack a yin and yang the sorrow and the pity and the film it's a twin pack excellent thank you very much dr cornish that's exactly the answer i was hoping for now listeners here's a track that i have selected for you this is from a man uh whose work i've only recently kind of stumbled across peter hamill he became famous in a band called van de graaff generator they were sort of prog behemoths
in the 70s and in 1977 as Van de Graaff generator was breathing its last Peter Hamill went out and he was making his solo album The Future Now I think it was called and it's quite an extraordinarily odd album and I'm going to play one of the oddest tracks from that album it's a very sort of experimental
thing that he's created.
Bear in mind this is 1978 or 77 that he's recording this and it's him sort of tinkering in the studio and making a song all about what fun you can have tinkering in an analog studio in the pre-digital days.
Just imagine the work he must have done with the razor blade to do this before Pro Tools or anything.
This is Peter Hamill with the cut.
It's got quite a soft little intro here.
The guitar's coming in.
Goes pretty weird.
Stick with it listeners.
Everything out of order Everything too well produced From the conjurer's hat Let's turn on the juice To grind the cutting grain The blade that gives an edge To scale the mountain
To fail upon the mountain ledge Halfway up is halfway peaking A stroboscope locks the lathe I look around for a surgeon face
The disco boom stands firm It cracks in the rage Flix for present Wig flick flicks for future page Deck to deck, no marked cards No sequential spring-time crush
Nice and still, the bloodline will crush.
From the start, at night, the petrol plate is dropped.
Brace your shadow.
Brace in case your shadow stops at night.
Everything sold out of order A bias on the plane back then Papers for the mourner and warm of tearless flame My future burns my tongue
The noise came small and shut.
Breathe a vacuum.
Believe that reason ain't a gun.
It's a built-point noise.
The spiders blaring tracks.
The air controllers.
Feed the stereosonic slant.
See, now it just goes wobbly for about a minute.
Little weird sounds.
Incipient white noise.
He sounds a little bit like Neil Hannon from the Divine Comedy, you know?
Same sort of tambre to his voice there.
That's Peter Hamill with The Cut from The Future Now.
If you enjoyed that, listeners, if you didn't enjoy it, don't worry, I won't be playing it again anytime soon.
I like that one if you like that kind of thing incidentally if you're adventurous of spirit musically then I'm sure that you're already familiar with the freak zone here on BBC six music hosted by the excellent Stuart McOnie that's from 5 p.m.
lasts a couple of hours doesn't it
three hours three hours of experimental fun his mission is to only play that kind of thing you know really way out stuff for three hours here on BBC six music that's the freak zone with Stuart McOnie on a Sunday afternoon at five o'clock this is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music it's trail time six music one of the most influential music shows of a generation the old gray whistle test
Playing some of the most requested, most enjoyable, most bizarre, and most exciting moments from Whistle Test in the 70s.
Featuring interviews with John Lennon, George Harrison, Mick Jagger, Robert Plant.
Studio sessions from Focus, Rory Gallagher, David Bowie, Bonnie Raitt, Tom Petty, and many more.
The Whistle Test Years with Bob Harris.
Monday night from 9.30.
Online on digital.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC 6 Music.
Archive session track.
you
Very openly I sat alone
Oh my gosh, oh golly, that was soul wax with much against everyone's advice.
That was a session track.
That's what they sound like when they're strutting their stuff live, Joe Cornish.
That was recorded before the world changed in June 2000, when there was no fear in the world.
Do you remember those days?
It was good times.
Everyone was singing and dancing.
And there was nice flowers and green grass.
There was peace all over the world.
You know, if you wanted to hold hands with a person, it was fine.
The police didn't come and beat you to the floor with their electro-prods.
Exactly.
And you didn't instantly catch some kind of revolting disease.
In the olden days.
That's all rubbish.
Good times.
Hey this is Adam and Joe on BBC6 music.
We're going to do a few more Text the Nations in a while.
We should wrap that up soon.
We'll be replaying the Song Wars again before the end of the show.
We've only got
37 minutes left um you know the plane business oh the captain coward yeah all of that business the narrowly averted disaster uh the brave co-pilot who who saved everybody um this is a plane you've probably read about it in in the papers listeners that nearly crashed he throw but luckily didn't i read a quote in the paper uh and this is of course not making light at all of of what could have been a very grave situation
I read a bit in the paper from a quote from a worker on the ground about the crash who said, and I quote, it's a miracle.
The man deserves a medal as big as a frying pan.
I like the idea that medals, you know, go by their size, their surface area.
Absolutely.
It would make the Poppy Day Parade, is that what it's called?
Make that more fun, wouldn't it?
Remembrance.
Really big medals.
Giant poppies.
Couple of meters in circumference.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's not really how it works, though, is it?
Well, that was the logic on Wacky Races, wasn't it?
Really giant medals.
He wanted... Muttley was always after the largest medal because some of the most valuable medals... The Jim'll Fix It medal.
That's quite big.
That is large.
That's the biggest medal known to man, isn't it?
But the Purple Heart and the George Cross, they tend to be fairly small.
Yeah, because, you know, the idea is quantity, not size.
That's right.
What would be impressive would be a guy at the Poppy Day Parade, or whatever it's called, Army Day.
where they all march up and down.
Who was wearing an entire suit made out of metals?
From head to foot, metals.
Almost like chain mail.
Right.
Can you picture it?
I can.
Just row up, a bit like Martin Fry's gold lame suit.
Yeah.
But he would be the bravest soldier.
Unless he was someone like Alexander McQueen.
He hadn't earned any of the medals, he was being totally disrespectful and it was just some kind of fashion comment.
That was sick.
on the meaninglessness of that kind of decoration.
Literally using it as decoration, okay?
Right?
Think about that.
Typical Alexander McQueen to do something like that.
He's a disgrace.
Is anyone else outraged by this suit made of medals that Alexander McQueen has made?
Has he made that suit?
Has anyone else been outraged by the suit of medals he hasn't made?
get to get to work McQueen what do you do all day for goodness sake the so-called enfant terrible of fashion you you don't shock me is he responsible for the plane crash probably probably he did his best to bring the plane down but no he didn't quite work uh that's not true listeners none of that
That's not true.
He didn't have anything to do with the mercifully averted play disaster.
You're really angry with him anyway.
I'm absolutely sick of the so-called enfant terrible of the fashion world.
Let's have some music to it and you can hit something to the beat to get that out of your system.
Is this new music now?
Rapture with W-A-U-H.
It's an acronym.
W-A-Y-U-H.
What does it stand for?
They don't supply you with the details of the acronym.
This song's gonna tell us.
Let's hear it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, the sun-dressed French girls won't relate to a frozen glare from a northern state, dreaming about happy babies kicking ladies in the metro now.
And the mirrors won't sing back, they'll find me a-chopping you there on your feet.
She said your allegory is far too blunt I said this ain't no laboratory, you're a mess She said emotional distancing doesn't run or resonate brilliant in its stomach
I
They just stand there like this They cross their arms and stay down and drink and moan and diss
Y'all ready, girls?
The thick life's a bitter pill but it's a grand night
the rapture with w-a-y-u-h stands for woo all right yeah uh-huh i'm not sure that's worthy of an acronym though that violates all kind of acronym codes i mean it does doesn't it it's it's not like a compressed sentence you should only use an acronym for for a proper sentence i think those are just sort of uh utterances you know very angry this morning it's a campaigning show this morning you shouldn't start
putting utterances into acronyms because then everything gets totally confused and meaningless you know that there's chaos in the world then things start disappearing into black holes it's like time bandits you like news i love news do you do you long for a pair of news readers that make the news sexy again that dare to care that make it dramatic
inclusive, take it seriously, but at the same time aren't afraid to raise an eyebrow at some of the more extraordinary things going on in the world.
I'd love that, but if only there were a pair like that.
There are!
Really?
They're called Harvey Cook and Ruth Barnes.
And here they are!
On digital radio and online BBC 6 music.
Stolen laptop in huge data loss.
Private sale of rock more likely and floods warning.
And in 6MusicNews, Grammys strike waiver unlikely and new sex pistols material on the horizon.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
The government will make a former statement next week about the loss of more personal data.
The latest case involves a Ministry of Defence laptop stolen from the back of a car.
It had details of more than half a million people who've joined or applied to join the armed forces.
The Foreign Secretary David Miliband says the incident is regrettable.
No one can legislate for people leaving laptops in their cars overnight, but of course that's an important thing that we've got to do.
In the end, politics is about being a good government and about having good ideas for the future.
Next on 6, here's the Quito airports getting back to normal after that British Airways passenger deck crashed on Thursday.
Investigators say the Boeing 777's engine stopped working as it came in to land, but it's not clear why.
A container ship was forced to dock at Dover last night after the bodies of two crew members were found on board.
It's thought the dust may have been caused by a chemical leak on board the Latvian registered vessel.
Gordon Brown has accepted a plan that would make a private sale of Northern Rock significantly more likely, but the proposal would commit billions of pounds of taxpayers' cash to the bank for years to come.
And the PM's now in Shanghai on the latest leg of his visit to China.
He'll be signing an agreement there which will see British companies help to build an environmentally friendly city.
Homeowners in parts of England and Wales have been told to prepare for more flooding with heavy rain forecast over the weekend.
More than 40 flood warnings are in place.
The areas most at risk are all of Wales along with central and northern England.
Sport and Bolton will be looking to spoil the party at St James' Park as they take on Newcastle in Kevin Keegan's first game back in charge.
Now with 6 Music News for response.
As previously reported on 6musicnews, there's a question as to whether the Grammys will take place next month because of the American writers' strike, especially as the Golden Globes are awarded via a newscast.
The recording academy is asking its members to sign a petition urging the Writers Guild of America to strike a deal which would grant a waiver to striking writers, allowing them to work on the show.
However, the Writers Guild say an agreement is unlikely.
In other Six Music news, organisers are preparing for the festival season now and John Giddings, who organises the Isle of Wight festival, says there's growing concern about the size of festivals, that they're getting too big and he told Six Music why Isle of Wight will never get bigger than 50,000 heads.
People find it really uncomfortable and alienating.
I think some of the major festivals have got too big that I go to.
They might have five stages but you never see anyone because they're three miles away from each other and you spend your whole time running around.
Tune in to the Music Week tomorrow here on 6Music from 1 o'clock for more on the summer's festivals.
The Sex Pistols are headlining Isle of Wight in June and can play their first nude material in 30 years.
In an interview, drummer Paul Cook said there is talk of new material but the band are finding it difficult to get together.
Finally, Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore has composed a soundtrack for an adult film.
Extra Action and Extra Hardcore is out in the States in March and was directed by Richard Kern who has also directed several Sonic Youth videos.
Meanwhile, Moore is gearing up for an Australian tour with Sonic Youth in
On the Bruce Dickinson Friday rock show this week was Ricky and Stumpy from the almighty in conversation and Saxon from the BBC archives.
So listen again at bbc.co.uk
BBC 6 Music, Adam and Joe.
Just as you take my hand Just as you write my number down Just as it takes a ride Just as they play your favorite songs Your breath it disappears No one can wind up like a spring Before you add too much Come back and focus again The walls are barely a shade You gotta chase your cat girl
We are almost at the end of our drive.
The beat goes round and round, the beat goes round
There is none to explain You are each other as you are
Yes, that's Radiohead with Jigsaw falling into place.
That's got a particularly good video.
I don't know whether you've seen it.
It's amazing.
If you haven't seen the video for that, listeners, you can check it out.
For some reason, it's linked to on our page here at 6music.
It's very, very good.
Apparently the person who made it is like a genius.
I've heard that he dresses like a genius.
I've heard he dresses like a genius.
Yeah, what else have you heard?
Actually, no.
What?
No, no, he is a genius.
He is a genius.
He is a genius.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you heard this?
Well, it's him and another person as well, of course, Garth Jennings.
That's right.
But what else have you heard about the other person?
I've heard that he's really tall.
He's like a short brown hair.
His name's Joe.
Oh, no.
And he's wicked.
That's wrong.
That's incorrect.
Incorrect information.
What would you do if I got an award for directing that Radiohead video?
I would say, plus the change.
Business as usual in the Adam and Joe camp.
I love that song, man.
I can't get enough of it.
Thanks, man.
Thanks a lot.
It gives me the chills.
You were not responsible for that song.
How about this song?
Hang on.
Oh, hang on.
Just before you play that.
It's gonna be good.
Sorry man to interrupt your little smash there but for Radiohead fans I just wanted to say that Colin Greenwood the mighty bassist from the mighty Radiohead is co-presenting brain surgery with Mark Riley here on BBC6 music on Thursday commencing at 9.30 in the p.m.
so I will be listening and you... Is that sensible?
Is he trained in brain surgery?
Uh, yeah, yeah, all of Radiohead can do brain surgery.
Really?
They're clever, man.
They were in... Is it good radio?
They lived in Cambridge, they didn't go to Cambridge University, but just living in Cambridge means that you're able to perform a very simple brain surgery opposition.
Nothing too complicated, but basic brain surgery they can do.
Hey, listen to this tune.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text, text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Of course it was, they live in Oxford, not Canada.
I'm thinking of Pink Floyd you see, that's the other Mighty band, Pink Floyd.
It doesn't matter, just focus on the videos, it's fine.
My ears really hurt after that jingle.
And you said he was sexy, the guy that did it, attractive, the video?
The video, yeah, yeah, and he did it with Adam Buxton, the two of them.
Okay, it's time to wrap up Text the Nation, we've been asking you to suggest celebrity restaurants.
what sort of decor they would have and what kind of food they'd serve.
Do you reckon this is one of our best destinations?
It just makes me feel like I'm, like, Chris Moulds or something.
But anyway, we've actually had some good ones.
Chris Moulds is one of the most successful DJs in history.
Yeah, that doesn't mean he's any good.
Oh come on.
He is brilliant.
Dear Adam and Joe, was that sincere?
No.
No, good.
Didn't come across as.
Dear Adam and Joe, I'm allowed to have opinions.
Yeah.
Are you?
Are you though?
Am I?
Dear Adam and Joe, how about an establishment based on the work of Mark E. Smith called The Man Who's Got Expanded?
It would have a limited supply of crisps, but a plentiful supply of boozes and substances.
There would be a rapid turnover of staff at the whim of the grumpy proprietor, resulting in an erratic but strangely satisfying experience.
That would be good, and you could have little siggies on the table when you sit down next to your knife and fork, you get a siggie.
That's from Chris Eccles.
Is that the name of a fall song, The Man Who's Got Expanded?
I don't know man, there's a lot of fall songs.
What's going on there?
The Gut of the Quantifier is a fall song.
That might be a good name for a restaurant as well.
Here's one from Andy in Folkestone.
Morrissey could open Meat is Murder.
There'd be live cows and an abattoir next to the kitchen.
When people order a steak, he will wheel in, wheel a cow into the abattoir and say in a loud voice, could you do a Morrissey voice?
What does he say?
Where is he?
Is this really what you want?
You want me to push, put a ball through his head you murderer?
What's wrong with my geranium soup?
That's not a very good forest soup question.
Yeah it was, he wasn't even from Manchester.
Tom from Kettering says Mr. Beans, where Rowan Atkinson provides a variety of bean themed dishes.
Nice.
And not just baked beans, I'm thinking chillies and kidneys too.
That's very good.
I was thinking maybe the meat is murder one was going to be a celebration of the... of... no.
No.
Because that would be a nice little twist on it, but you're thinking wrongly.
Morrissey would have to do a 180 on his vegetarian shoes.
Jack Peake!
That's a good name, Jack Peake.
The Flaming Lips should open a restaurant eponymously named The Flaming Lips.
Right.
Serving especially hot food, jalapeño pepper laden pizzas, vindaloos, etc.
They would also have especially capacious toilets that played soothing classics from their albums.
Kind of like a chill-out area.
That's good, man.
It's from Jack Andy Richards.
Good morning, lads.
That's quite good, isn't it?
I like the idea of being plagued by paparazzi.
Yeah.
That's quite easy.
It's cheap.
You just get students to do it.
Right.
No filming.
The camera just flashes.
Or maybe there is filming the camera.
Yeah.
And you buy the pictures on the way out.
It's not a bad idea.
It's a brilliant idea.
And it has a red carpet and a crowd of... Exactly.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Who's that from?
Uh, Andy Richards.
Let's do it, Andy.
Because you've sent that into the big British castle, it's now our copyright property.
We're gonna nick that idea off you.
We'll have all the money as well.
Hurray!
Uh, Andy T and Brian Robert De Niro could have a place where he prowls around menacingly with sharp knives by the rotisserie called, Are you cooking at me?
Yeah.
That's quite good.
That's quite good.
Uh, Vordman.
Uh, this is from Nikki Impainton.
Vordman.
Detox smoothies, letters stroke numbers games on a big screen.
Count Dine.
calm down quite good isn't it yeah calm down Adam in London a restaurant serving low-fat food for the bodily paranoid by the Kaiser Chiefs called I predict a diet nice good man maybe he's got one of the guys on the writers strike that's the end that's the end of textination for this week well we still got to revisit song rapidly running out of time oh my lordy there's less than 20 minutes left hey shall I quickly pop in a factoid yeah go on then
podcast of this show listeners will be available from when next week from tomorrow 6 p.m.
iTunes it'll be a kind of filleted version of this film film film are we in like we are in a feels like a film of this show yeah and it's available from from tomorrow
oh it's a good one yeah of course it is a good one it'll be good by the time we chop all the fat off and thereafter every 6 p.m every sunday you'll be able to hear the condensed uh adam and joe show podcast downloadable via itunes that's exciting isn't it and we are listeners still working
on yet another podcast for you so which will be sort of stuff that hasn't been broadcast and be saucy all kinds of dangerous stuff there but we'll we'll tell you more as things develop right now here's a track that joe's chosen for you yeah what's this oh yeah this is a good bit of uh old school hip-hop from a time when hip-hop wasn't about killing or bragging when it was about brotherness and togetherness this is a band called brand newbie and this song's called wake up
Peace to the god, peace to the lord Ayo, there go that brother, Grand Poobah Heard that brother got knowledge and stuff Yo, true and ji, brother Yo, let's have that brother come over and add on to the site
as long as
Speak on it, y'all.
Speak on it, y'all.
I'm older, putting money in the pan for the rest of the week.
Now I'm eating at a soup can.
He has a home, drives Caddy to town.
Has my old earth, believing that he's coming from the ground.
Explain to those who fought for what was right.
Slay to those who fell victim to the fight.
A drug-controlled substance contained in a vial.
Said about a devil, I say, look, Sandy,
Good at the game of tricknology, but I have knowledge of myself.
You're not fooling me.
You see, the answer for me is black unity, unification to help our black situation.
I focus on a day of wisdom, power, all being born of myself.
I want this, the next brother to be paid.
It's not my trade, it's just the plan that is designed by my father.
Now our babies are born to think this is the way of us That's the way the devil wants it, so it is no fuss It's just that sad old song, self-destruction To stop our reproduction Then put our wisdom before us That makes it wisdom, knowledge But we need knowledge, wisdom To bring forth the understanding Coach the freedom
Power refinement, murderer!
Equality, God built, destroyed, born's our cipher, murderer!
Can a devil fool a moose?
No, not now or day, bro!
Who you mean to say the devil fooled us 400 years ago?
Wife, what's up?
Betrayed the meaning of interpretation, saying that we've received more gold for our labor in this nation.
Do we receive more gold?
God, now, cipher!
It's time to drop the bomb and make the devil pay the piper.
True it, God, true it, dear God.
The solution, knowledge itself, to better ourself Cause I know myself, that we can live much better than this Nothing's changed, it's just another sequel The devil's still causing trouble amongst the righteous people Drugs in our community, that ain't right Can't even get a job, that ain't right Poison in our babies, that ain't right Lion who is God, that ain't right Well here's some food for thought, many fought for the sport And the black man still comes up short
It's time to motivate, build and elevate Blind, deaf and dumb, we gotta change their mind state So I'll dip, dip, diver, civilizer, eighty-fiver Gotta let them know the devil's a conniver This is the plan from the brotherland From the motherland, now it's time to take a stand All keeps flammin' and doin' my duty To awaken to the universe And finally I say As-salamu'alaikum
Brian Nubian with Wake Up.
I love that one.
Atala Malakum.
He's got a manly voice, that guy.
Yeah, I like it when rappers almost sing.
When there's proper melody in the speech.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, and everyone cares about what I like.
Yeah, and who's the other guy, Lab Cab in California, who did that?
That's, they're called the Far Side.
Far Side, they do a little bit of that, don't they?
Yeah, they split up, sadly.
That's a shame.
Right, it's time for...
It's time for songs Wars, the war of the songs
listen it's time for song was the part of the show where we both record we compose and record songs individually on a theme and then we kind of battle them and then we get emails from people telling us how bad they are here's an email a nice one though from Nick and Denise
uh they say simply our five-year-old and i should remind people who've just tuned in that we've already played these uh songs earlier in the show so nick and denise have heard them our five-year-old said she found it very difficult to judge that's in quotes very difficult to judge
Wow.
So that's good.
That's nice of your five-year-old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's another one that says, this is from Lakshmi and Mark in Leeds.
Dear Adam and Joe, we love your show.
Has anyone ever told you that your voices sound nearly identical?
We have trouble telling you apart, especially in song wars, making it difficult to vote.
I wouldn't agree with that.
I'd say our speaking voices can sometimes sound a little similar.
Jude's actually panned us.
So Adam is on the right and I'm on the left if you have a stereo radio.
This is Adam talking right now.
Yeah.
And should we flip the songs around?
Should we start with my song?
All right then.
So this is Joe's song.
The theme this week, listeners, was instructional songs for children.
uh that might you know teach them something uh so these are songs for for kiddies my song's called the right and wrong song this is to teach kids to be able to discern the difference between right and wrong see if you as an adult can tell during this song which things are right and which are wrong here we go
Is it right to join a gang?
Is it right to kill a man?
Is it right to buy a gun?
Is stabbing people fun?
It's wrong This is all about right and wrong And those things are wrong This is all about right and wrong Is it right to read and write?
Is it right to be polite?
Is it right to work at school?
Don't ever play before It's right This is all about right and wrong
And those things are right This is a song about wrong and right Is it right to have a smoke?
Light a spliff or sniff some coke?
Is it right to deal crack?
There's nothing wrong with that It's wrong This is a song about right and wrong And those things are right
Is it right to sit up straight?
Is it right to clean your plate?
Is it right to clean your room?
Learn facts about the moon?
It's right!
This is a song about wrong and right!
Those things are right!
This is a song about wrong and right!
Is it right to happy slap?
Is it right to blap, blap, blap?
Is it right to trash your place?
Put your party on my space?
It's right!
There we go, that's Joe's song this week.
It's called the right and wrong song.
Is that you playing recorder there?
No, that's off of GarageBand.
No.
Yeah.
You've got recorder skills though don't you?
Or Annabelle does anyway.
Annabelle does yeah I've got kind of you know I was educated up to the age of seven in recorder.
If you want to vote for that one you text Joe to 64046 or if you want to vote for Adam's you text Adam to 64046 or if you're listening again email AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk Now here is my song listeners this is Adam's song and it's called Toothpaste Brush.
Every morning you should get a little toothpaste And pop it on the bristles on your brush Then get to work with the brush and the toothpaste Cleaning off the dirt, no need to rush I care so much for the health of my gums and teeth That I have a brushing session after eating every meal And I also use some floss and some mouthwash
Apart from cutting down on expensive dentist bills This routine keeps my breath smelling nice And of course I have to say that there's nothing worse than to decay Look out for your teeth, that's my advice An electric toothbrush is what dentists recommend Just go easy or you'll mess up the enamel
sort of abrupt ending there, you see, that caught everyone by surprise.
The enamel.
It's true, you know, if you go too hard on the teeth.
That's true, isn't it?
You can damage the enamel.
You don't want to do that.
No.
So that's a little instructional song there for children.
I thought that, you know, in my defence there, because I'm, my prospects are bleak, I have to say.
Your song's impressive, man, and, you know, it's, you're dealing with more universal topics than I am.
Mine might be overproduced.
Yeah.
And people might not like it, they might think, you know, they might think it's like
voting for McDonald's against a nice little knitted wooly sock or something.
Do you know what I mean?
People like that.
Yes, I do know exactly what you mean.
So anyway, that was Adam Buxton's toothpaste brush track, so vote for me, listeners.
A vote for me is a vote for teeth and the care thereof, which is an important thing, you know, to worry about.
But that's pretty much it for our show.
A couple of housekeeping reminders.
Don't forget our podcast is available from 6pm tomorrow evening.
That's the condensed version of this show.
And also, if you'd like to get hold of various jingle-jangles and things for your phone, like the Text the Nation jingle, there's various edits we've done there of that jingle that'll go on your phone.
Go to the website.
All you have to do is text the word mobile on your mobile phone and
No, yeah, text the word mobile to 64046.
64046.
And then that'll take you to the website and you'll find all kinds of amazing little bits of rubbish there to improve your life.
That's pretty much it for this week.
Thanks to everybody who's texted and emailed.
Keep emailing in, we read everything that you send even during the week.
Even during the week?
We should say that the guy who proposed to his girlfriend earlier on, Claire,
She's saying yes!
She's saying yes!
So that's our first marriage here on the Element Joe 6 Music Show.
That means we can have sex with either of you at once.
Remember that.
Okay.
The lovely Liz Kershaw's coming up soon.
Stay tuned for that.
We'll see you next Saturday.
Have a good week.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
And we have on the line on 1121 a female that goes by the name of what?
Little She.
Little She.
And Little She, where are you from?
East New York, Brooklyn.
You're from East New York, Brooklyn.
And what do you love about the world's famous Supreme Team show?
All that scratch is making you itch?
Well, Little She is making me itch, too, I guarantee it.
I love it, Don.
Uh, here's just a lot of superstars.
He has something that he wants to most definitely tell you.
Little She?
Yeah.
How long have you been listening to the world's famous?
About six weeks.
Six weeks?
Do you catch the 4 o'clock show as well?
You know that.
All the shows still come on late at night.
How do you manage to stay up 4 o'clock in the morning?
So, too much of that snow white.
All over the world, high school girls Take to the ropes and turn them slow Start the beat and the loop They skip and jump through the loop They might break and they might fall But the girls from New York City don't They just start again, start again, hey
Golden angels All the flat green angels Are the five-town diamond skippers All the pleasure of rope ripping All those dark and lovely skippers All those five-town diamond skippers The skip-a-doos and double dutch That's them dancing Skip-a-doos and double dutch
All the teams, change your partners now Summer's small but smooth as a hoop Leap to beat the clicks that keep on coming Hey, watch your feet To win the double dutch, steady jumping Hey, Evo, agony