I told her today at the reception In her glass was a bleeding man She was practiced at the art of deception Well, I could tell by her bloodstained hands
You can't always get what you want
Six Music.
Today from Two.
John Holmes.
From Midday, Liz Kershaw.
And now, it's Adam and Joe.
Are you alone now?
Did you lose the monkey?
We gave you black case and now you're slouched We didn't need it, it's just a dummy We can playboy on your couch And now it's time to say what I forgot
Don't it make you wanna get some sun?
Shine on, shine on, shine on I went to Pittsburgh And joined the protein Talk about a bad dream
But I can still come and make the girls swoon Isn't that the way life's supposed to be?
But now it's time to say what I forgot to say, babe
You wanna get some
Don't it make you wanna get some sun?
There you go.
That's the Fountains of Wain with Radiation Vibe.
Hello, my name's Adam Buxton.
Hello, my name's Joe Cornish.
Good morning.
Good morning, Joe.
Thanks a lot, man.
How you doing?
How did you sleep?
I slept very well.
Good morning listeners as well.
Yeah, morning.
Nice morning here in London.
How did you sleep, listeners?
Yeah, were you okay?
Did you have to get up in the night for any reason?
Did you have to get up in the night for any reason?
No, I slept very soundly.
Did you?
Yeah, sometimes I do have to get up a lot.
Do you?
Yes, because I'm very old.
Are you?
I'm very old and I've got a tiny bladder.
Yes.
So I do have to get up a lot during the night.
But no, I had a nice restful night last night.
Although I had strange dreams.
Oh dear.
I had a strange dream about you actually.
Now that I come to think of it.
Was it sexy?
No, it wasn't sexy.
This time it wasn't sexy.
It was a little bit angry.
Really?
What were you angry with me about?
Shall I tell you later?
Yeah.
Shall I tell you after this next song?
Folks, we've got a great show coming up for you.
Oh my lord, we are going to be resolving one of the most heated and fraught song wars in the history of song wars.
Yeah, it's not looking good for me I don't think.
You reckon?
I've caught some vibes in the big British castle this morning that maybe it's not so good for me.
Really?
Our producer.
Not being very subtle about the hinting.
You know when your own producer gangs up on you?
Well listen, to put you in the picture, folks, if you weren't listening last week, the first Song Wars of 2008, we thought we'd do an easy one, you know, like a short one.
We were gonna do ringtones.
So Joe comes in armed with like three ringtones, which myself and Jude, our producer, thought was a violation of the Song Wars contract.
Joe got a little bit defensive about it.
I got a little bit aggressive about it and it was all like bad vibes were bouncing off the walls like kind of monkeys fun monkeys and so who knows how that's all gonna turn out this week you'll find out in this program also we have the nation's favorite feature text the nation coming up later on in the program as well as of course brand new songs to unveil for this week's song wars all that coming up after this this is Adele with chasing pavements
I've made up my mind Don't need to think it over If I'm wrong, I am right Don't need to look no further This ain't last, I know This is life If I tell the world
I'll never say enough cause it was not said to you.
And that's exactly what I need to do if I end up with you.
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing payments even if
Just keep chasing payments Even if it leads no way I build myself up And fly around in circles waiting As my heart drops And my back begins to tingle finally
Keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere Would it be a way Even if I knew my way Should I leave it there?
Should I give up Or should I just keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste Even if I knew my place?
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up?
Or should I just keep on chasing payments?
Should I just keep on chasing payments?
Or should I just keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere Or would it be a way Even if I knew my way Should I leave it there Should I give up Or should I just keep chasing payments Even if it leads nowhere
That's Adele with Chasing Pavements.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 music coming to you live from the big British, British castle in London, which is a big city in the south of England that many of you may never be able to afford to visit.
No, it's amazing.
It's very exciting.
It's full of furious people.
The streets are studded with celebrities and celebrities with studs.
Oh, Paris Hilton.
She lives here.
She's in Oxford Street right now.
She sleeps on the street.
Yeah, she doesn't have enough money to afford a house in London.
No exactly because London's very overpriced and it's a lovely morning here in London folks I'm glad to tell you and I saw the weather guy last night saying what in a in a kind of intimate way the weather guy Yeah, did you go clubbing together to a sort of a gay club?
No, no, I saw him on TV.
Sorry.
Yeah, I don't know the weather guy.
I completely misconstrued what you said.
No, it's okay, it's alright.
Really sorry.
Yeah, I don't know him.
I don't know the weather guy.
Do you?
Don't know him.
I completely got the wrong end of the stick.
Yeah, you did.
I'm really sorry.
How embarrassing.
I'm very sorry.
How very embarrassing for you.
No, I saw him and I just caught the tail end of his report and he was saying, so that's, so I'm afraid it's going to be the end of the good weather.
And I was thinking, well, the good weather, this has been one of the worst weeks of weather
And you don't like talking about the weather, Joe.
I love it, I love it.
It fascinates me.
The weather.
Because I'm British.
What will happen next?
I'm from Britain.
And it gets me down, man.
I'm deeply, I get SAD a little bit, you know?
And I find it, don't you find it odd that, especially in Great Britain,
where we're good at coming together in a crisis.
Do you know what I mean?
Sure, yeah.
I mean, I'm thinking of the Blitz.
That's the last time Britain came together in a crisis and sang songs and held hands and, you know, weathered a shared crisis together.
But you think like, well, a rainy day, a very rainy day like we had yesterday in London town is deeply depressing and everyone's miserable.
So why don't we share that crisis together?
Instead it divides us.
You go out there and everyone's furious with each other, everyone's looking down, everyone's thinking, I hate you, this is the worst day of my life and I hate absolutely everyone.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Or is that just me?
Observation?
It's all happening in your head.
It's just in my head.
Hey, last night on BBC Four, as part of their pop Britannia season, they showed Cracked Actor again.
Oh yeah.
Alan Yentob's extraordinary documentary about David Bowie.
Yes.
I haven't seen it for a while.
It's lovely.
It's fantastic.
Every year it kind of gets better.
Yeah.
And favourite scene?
Favourite scene with the bit where he's talking about his cut up techniques.
Yes.
I don't know if this is how.
Who else does it?
Bukowski does it.
You know that stuff?
Yeah.
Just brilliant.
He's so kind of mannered and he's still really cool.
he looks lovely basically all these years later he still comes across as really cool until he mimes and when he starts i don't know if you've seen it listeners but but that little bit when he starts talking about how physicality is important to him and he's on stage doing that kind of um i'm doing it here you can't see it listen it looks a little bit like
It's a little bit birdie song, isn't it?
It looks a bit like Ricky Gervais' dance from The Office.
It does, doesn't it?
But more graceful.
Yeah, but that's when he crosses the line.
But God bless him.
He's great, isn't he?
Here in celebration is a little bit of, you know, 80s Bowie.
This is China Girl.
I feel a wreck without my little child at birth I hear her heart beating loud as thunder
I've been tragic like I'm Marlon Brando When I look at my China girl I couldn't pretend I really meant too much
Just like a sacred cow
I'll give you television I'll give you eyes of blue I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world And when I get excited My love will try to produce it
David Bowie with China Girl.
My favourite lyric from that song is... It's in the way of my eyes.
It's just a way of saying I can't see.
He's saying it's in the whites of my eyes.
He's not, is he?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah, definitely, because Iggy Pop sings it a bit more clearer.
I wish he was singing it's in the way of my eyes.
I know, I always thought it was... Like, use that phrase.
Can you move that book?
It's in the way of my eyes.
Yeah, that's a shame.
Oh, well, there we go.
Do you remember the filthiness of that video?
I do.
Well, it's got David Bowie's Butox in it.
Butox.
Butox.
And they are Butox as well.
They're very pert.
They're Butox-liful.
I mean, he was looking good.
It's a sexy video.
There's a sexy Asian lady, and there is David, who's sexy, and they're doing sexiness in the sea.
It's exciting.
It caused a scandal scandal.
It's a scandal.
It did.
when it came out, do you remember?
Yes.
They banned it, the big British castle, uh, were- Quite right, the big British castle cannot tolerate buttocks.
No, they would not let the buttocks within the walls of the castle.
No, they're too erotic with their roundness.
We must repel the butox!
and they would not show I think I'm right in saying that they would not show the Butox on top of the Channel 4 showed it or something didn't yeah on the tube the racy channel the dirty channel so I was talking about the fact that I had a dream about you the other night Joe I didn't mean to probably I just thought of it as I said it because you know it wasn't well formed you know how you backpedaling
little bit because it's not like a real deep meaningful dream except to say that it was it was a little bit angry there's a little bit of anger there but i had a glass of red wine before i went to bed so maybe it just came out of that you know threw off my equilibrium a little bit but basically you and i were holidaying with a friend and uh it was a little bit hazy but uh towards the end of the holiday we were given gifts because the person we were staying with was a sort of famous person it was just a random famous person i couldn't tell you who it was do you know what i'm saying
But it was a sort of grand mansion that we were staying in.
And then on the day we left... Did I get a better gift than you?
Did you get jealous?
Yes!
Yes!
And guess what you got?
You got B.B.
King's guitar.
Oh, I love that guitar.
Well, you don't love that guitar.
Not only that, but you don't really... A, you don't really care about B.B.
King.
Not that I do, particularly, but I... I... In my dreams... I like his playing on the soundtrack for Into the Night.
Right.
You see, you probably know more about BB King than I do.
Yeah.
But in my dream, I was furious, because I think Luke doesn't care about BB King.
What did you get?
I think I got, like, a tunic or something like that.
Really?
What was his stylophone?
I was thinking... Yeah.
I was thinking this is a much better gift for Joe.
I like playing the guitar.
I would value B.B.
King's guitar.
I would keep it in a special perspex case and only take it out on special occasions.
Joe's just gonna prop that thing up in the corner and disrespect it.
Do you know what that dream says?
What does it say?
Everything.
Here's a trail, then some Beastie Boys.
Have I got news for you?
Unmissable, isn't it?
I tell you what, I don't think I've missed a single episode.
Never missed an episode?
Biggest fan.
End of.
Well, we'll see about that.
Eh?
Paul Merton once got no points at all.
Who was his guest?
What?
Ross Noble.
Ian Hislop almost missed an episode because of what ailment?
Eh, scurvy.
Burst appendix.
Damn.
What replaced Roy Hattersley?
Um... You should know this.
I do.
It was, um... It was a tub of lard.
I knew that!
Never missed an episode.
Well, I might have missed one or two.
Biggest fan, Miles.
From now on, you'll never have to miss an unmissable moment.
BBC iPlayer lets you watch programmes from the last seven days on your computer.
BBC iPlayer.
Making the unmissable, unmissable.
Go to bbc.co.uk slash iPlayer.
Cause she's on it And she's on it She acts like a nag I don't know how it started Even when I'm chilling She acts retarded It gets annoying So high on the tip
And she won't stop
The school she majors in, advanced tech jam!
Winter and cool like!
Cold front cause she's got that itch She'd talk to her knees if we'd only say please Instead of counting safe, cold county beef steams
Band that sick filth, it's the Beastie Boys with the C's on it.
It just exploded.
It was so exciting it exploded.
Ad-Rock's head blew up.
Oh, I reckon our jingles.
Because he was rapping, he was rapping so hard that Ad-Rock's head exploded.
And now he's dead, but he's come back now, it's okay.
And now it's time to wrap up last week's Song Wars.
It's time for Song Wars, the war of the songs.
So check it out.
That's the Song Wars jingle, and that's the regular Song Wars jingle.
You'll remember that last week we got an email from a furious listener.
We love furious listeners.
Absolutely furious.
Dick Thompson.
Actually, that's not quite true.
He's a very nice email indeed from Dick Thompson.
Very driven email focused.
But the main thrust of his email was how nice it was to hear two such well-spoken, well-educated people as ourselves on the radio, posh people, you know, forcing back the tidal wave of filth and bad language and sloppy accents on the radio.
But he said he took issue with the grammar in the Song Wars jingle.
he said in the Song Wars jingle you can be heard saying which will you vote for which one is the best now I'm sure I don't need to tell you that when comparing two objects I'm quoting from his email here you should be using the word better best can only be used for three or more objects I have they therefore taken the liberty of rewriting the two lines affected by this as follows which will you vote for which one is the better vote for them now by email text so did you read
Or a letter, so I've done it for you.
But Dick, here's the new rejigged jingle for you, Dick.
I don't like it as much.
You sound kind of ground down.
The fire's gone out.
You sound like a schoolboy who's been ticked off.
It's true, isn't it?
But listen, we've got the news coming up so we need to do this pretty fast.
Here are some emails that came in about last week's Song Wars from Lily Elbrus.
She says, Joe, you leave me no choice but to vote for Adam's ringtone.
Cheats never prosper.
Peter Fletcher says, I vote for Adam because Joe is a cheater.
Bill Edwards says, I'm voting for Joe's.
I think Adam has missed the point somewhat and done a song.
Too high-minded.
Joe's is closer to the heinous spirit of that crazy frog thing from way back.
Pure torture.
I really want to vote for you, Adam.
Yeah, but he can't because you got it wrong.
And another one, Sian Wright, I think Joe's ringtone is the best.
You know, I'm voting for Adam's song because of Joe's misguided choice.
Says Meg Ferguson.
This is not good, but I'm getting sympathy votes.
I'm getting, like, cheating votes and I don't want that.
I must have lost this.
I'm going to open the envelope now.
If Joe has lost this, this will only be the third Song Wars that I've ever won.
Wow.
Well...
The scores are 79% placed 21%.
To whom?
To you!
Hooray!
I've won!
Buxton has won.
Even though it was... However, here's an email from Mark Thompson, who says that according to... The head of the BBC... The head of the BBC says, according to BBC guidelines, entries for a competition must correctly meet the precise stipulations of the competition.
Therefore, Adam is disqualified for writing a song, not a ringtone, and Joe wins.
You're dreaming.
You are dreaming.
I was making that up.
Now, I'm going to play you my ringtone over the phone because that's the way you should really hear it.
And a reminder that you can download all these ringtones, both Joe's and myself's.
Not all three of mine, I have to say.
I was furious about that when you found out.
But where can they download them from?
The website.
The BBC website.
We'll give you details of that a bit later.
So here's my winning ringtone right now.
Got a call coming in, it's exciting Perhaps it's from an actor or a model Or maybe Russell Brand But more likely it's from someone at work saying why?
Ain't you done all your work?
Just let it ring, it will go
See, wouldn't this be great coming out of your phone?
And yes, it is a song, but it's also a jingle.
I mean, young people...
Is that an actual call coming through, though?
No, that's incorporated into the... You see?
It's amazing.
You know what I think would be even better than that?
No, no, no.
It's time for the news, read by Harvey Cook.
on digital radio and online.
BBC Six Music.
Chaos fears over new parking rules pensioner murdered and baptism saw in race for schools places.
Six Music.
BBC News just after 9.30 I'm Harvey Cook.
Motoring groups say new parking rules that come into force in England in a few weeks time will create confusion and lead to big increases in fines.
Penalties for serious offences will rise and those for lesser ones fall.
Councillors will also be able to send tickets in the post.
Transport Minister Rosie Winton says there will be benefits.
Some people will drive away very quickly if they see a parking attendant approaching.
Now that can be dangerous for other drivers and it can be dangerous for pedestrians.
So we'll be allowing traffic wardens to issue tickets even if somebody is in the process of driving away.
Next on 6th Music, a murder investigation is underway in Hampshire after a 77-year-old woman was found dead in a house near Winchester.
Reports suggest she was stabbed.
The Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hayne is facing more questions about his late disclosure of donations to his campaign to become Labour's deputy leader.
He's insisted the delay was inadvertent, but last night a colleague said Mr Hayne had got himself into a very difficult position.
A growing number of parents in England and Wales are having their children baptised as Catholics so they can apply to popular Catholic schools, and studies found the number of baptisms of kids aged between 1 and 13 has almost trebled in 50 years.
Figures suggest that almost 3 million people may now have been affected by the norovirus vomiting bug this winter.
Officials say there were just under 2,000 confirmed cases in England and Wales in the final quarter of last year, but they reckon for every case, 1,500 go unreported.
Sport, Nicola and Elka are likely to be thrown straight into action for Chelsea this afternoon after signing from Bolton yesterday for £15 million.
The leaders Arsenal play Birmingham at the Emirates, while Manchester United take on Manchester-less Newcastle.
And the weather?
Well, plenty of blue skies around today, with most of us having a dry, bright day.
Rain will move into the west country and Wales later, though.
Chilly highs of 8 degrees in Cardiff, 6 in Manchester and just 2 in Edinburgh.
That's 6 Music News, and back with more at 10.30.
On the Music Week this week, I'll be live from Liverpool for the opening weekend of the Capital of Culture celebrations, bringing you all the latest from the likes of Ringo Starr and Echo and the Bunnymen.
Plus, in this week's agenda, how would you make festivals better?
We'll take the best to the bosses behind our summer of music.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen, and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
6 Music.
Adam and Joe on 6 Music.
If you see what you've done to my heart
I submit my incentive is romance I watch the holdings of the stars We rejoice cause the hurting is so painless From the distance of passing cars But I am married to your terms of grace I just feel crazy like the good old days
Can't you see what you've done to my heart?
We slide up
That's Interpol with Slow Hands.
A very important song.
Yes, exactly.
It's Warning of the Danger of, what is it?
Warning of the Danger of?
Just things, generally things.
Just careful, watch out, you know, take care, sharp things, tripping, all that business, saying stupid things.
Oh, yeah.
Now, Joe, you were talking about Chris Rock yesterday.
Did you see him on Jonathan Ross yesterday?
I didn't know, but I saw him live the night that he would have recorded Jonathan's show, Thursday night.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So what, he went on to do that after doing Jonathan?
Yeah, either before or after, probably before.
Ooh.
Yeah, I saw Chris Rock, listeners, is an American comedian.
the rocker they call it yeah no they don't do they no they don't uh and and he was pretty good yeah even though events have overtaken him slightly in what way well one of his amazing bits of his breakthrough set that i remember seeing years ago was talking about how there'd never be a black vice president right because if there was he'd get shot so the what uh so he'd then become president yeah and the guy that shot him would be a hero
be able to go to Britain it was it was a brilliant bit of his routine but now that it looks like there might be a black president yeah he's kind of had the rug pulled out from under his feet so his his his sort of comedy targets were a little bit pat right he did a lot of stuff on the differences between men and women George Bush
Women.
They do talk a lot, don't they, women?
That was one of the things they played.
They played a little clip of him talking about how much women talk and the fact that men have the right to come home from work without women talking to them so much when they get through the door.
It was pretty good.
He's got amazing energy and the thing about those American stand-ups is they're so amazingly slick and confident.
Such a long act and it's word perfect.
It's kind of like verbal brain surgery.
Yeah, well, they do it over and over again.
It's like Seinfeld.
You know, he's a real lot of practice.
Yeah.
Scientist about it, you know?
Yeah.
Well, there's that brilliant film about Seinfeld called Comedian.
If you haven't seen that, you should see it all about him, him going on the road life.
The thing that happened during the Chris Rock show was I was given quite a nice seat.
I got a freebie ticket, but I was sort of sitting on my own in the middle of the stalls.
You know, that road that's by the kind of walkway by the aisle.
My favorite road.
Lots of leg room, but people are always walking past you.
There was no one sitting around me.
I thought, brilliant, this is kind of like having a box.
Then just before Chris Rock came on, a whole lot of people came in and sat beside me.
And Mark Lamarr came and sat right literally beside me.
Radio 2's Mark Lamarr?
Yeah, very small seat.
So I was literally pressed right up against Lamarr.
Oh, you were right next to Lamarr?
Yeah, literally shoulder to shoulder.
The whole left side of my body touching Lamarr in a slightly inappropriate, you know, manner.
Is he wearing a suit?
He's looking cool.
He's got to, you know, so the gig starts and I say, hey Mark, how you doing?
He looks at me kind of baffled.
We've met a couple of times before.
Long time ago, yeah.
I said, Joe Cornish.
And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember.
Sorry, I haven't got my glasses on.
I'm a little bit blind.
The show starts.
Chris Rock makes a joke about, one or two observations about Britain and about how strong the British currency is.
And Chris Rock goes, you know whoever's looking after your money, you should keep that guy in power.
He's not from where that accent comes from.
That was a bad accent.
That was pretty good I thought.
Thank you.
The room boos because of course people generally don't necessarily like the government at the moment so the audience booed.
I booed as well.
The ma turned to me and said, did you boo?
I went yeah.
He said don't do it again.
No.
Turned away.
I was confused.
I was upset.
I felt like I'd been ticked off.
Was he joking?
I don't know.
It kind of threw a bucket of water over my enjoyment of the gig.
And then I continued to be physically pressed against him.
Right.
You just went all up.
It was really quite odd.
Ticked off by Lamar and then expected to enjoy subversive comedy.
And then there was this sort of weird laughter competition I felt.
Maybe it was just in my head between me and Lamar.
you know because it's obvious there's obviously a lot of observational black comedy and as a white man uh you know you're not sure quite how are you yeah i know it doesn't seem like it i always assumed you were black i'm sorry i'm white and uh there's a lot of jokes about you know the difference between a black man and a black woman and that kind of thing and as a white man you're not really sure how hard to laugh you know yeah how much culturally you've got invested how much you're allowed to love that kind
Right, you don't want to look like you're trying too hard.
No.
Because what would that say about your latent prejudices?
Yeah, but I think, what the hell?
I'll just chuckle along.
If I find it funny, I'll just have a giggle.
That's a nice attitude.
Lamar wasn't laughing.
No.
I don't think he thought it was a good gig.
I don't think he liked the fact that I was laughing.
Man, he's way ahead of Chris Rock politically.
We, exactly.
And he's thinking, this is not good enough from Rock.
I felt like me and Lamar were having a sort of, who appreciates black culture the best?
Right.
You know, as expressed in the amount both of us laughed.
Yeah.
Like when Chris Rock made a joke about T-Pain.
Do you know who T-Pain is?
No idea.
He's like a rapper.
I laughed quite hard because I know who T-Pain is.
Yeah.
Lamar didn't really laugh that much.
He knows his rapper.
He doesn't know who T-Pain is.
I know.
I think he knows his rap.
When it comes to black music Lamar is superb.
Yeah.
He's an expert.
Anyway, difficult gig there.
That's tough, man.
And did you kiss and make up on the way out?
No, I blanked him.
Blanked him?
I did.
My lordy.
I blanked him.
Not on purpose, but there were other people to my right.
Duncan from BAFTA was there.
Yeah.
So I said hello to Duncan from BAFTA.
Good old Duncan from BAFTA.
I bet he didn't say goodbye to Mark.
But I'm sure Mark was just joking.
And I'm very sensitive.
Yeah.
You know, I'm like a little weed.
You're my favorite little weed, though.
Now it's almost time to launch Text the Nation, ladies and gentlemen.
I think we'll do that after this next track.
I don't think I've heard this one.
Is this... I'm always confused.
Oh yes, it's Sons and Daughters is the band, right?
And the track is called Darling.
Living so dangerous Try to conduct yourself
Sunday afternoon on 6.
It's Martin Freeman joining you.
Martin Freeman in for Stephen Merchant.
I know him, you know.
Do you?
How well do you know him?
I know him pretty well.
Did a little show together called The Office.
Really?
Yes, you may have seen it.
Anyone expecting Steve Merchant, this is sort of the same, but slightly less funny.
And probably, I'm betting, if I know Steve, some slightly older music.
Probably.
And some slightly groovier music, actually.
Wait!
Martin Freeman in for Steve and Merchant.
It means that we're playing records and talking nonsense.
Is there a D?
Tomorrow afternoon from three.
On six music.
BBC.
Six.
Music.
In session for six.
Could we please have your attention?
There is nothing left to fear No, now the Bigfoot is captured And all the children really right All right, all right All the children really right All right, all right Now the children all right
Can't control Will we give ourselves a prize?
When we become less inhuman
Young blood, young blood, young blood, young blood Young blood, young blood, young blood Young blood, young blood, young blood Young blood, young blood, young blood
We are calling from a tower Expressing what must be Everyone's opinion They are going out to bars And they are getting in the cars I have seen them with my own eyes America, please
you
That's very nice, isn't it?
Clap your hands, say yeah.
That song was called upon this tidal wave of young blood, which is not so nice as a title.
A tidal wave of young blood.
That's like a kind of juvenile army being horribly slaughtered with broad swords.
That's a good song.
I don't feel personally that they did, they sort of missed the point of their own song there.
Do you think?
Yeah.
Do you remember, because you remember we played the song when it came out.
And it was more sort of jubilant and shouty, was it?
Yeah, it's very shouty and it's got a great long bit where it just goes child stars, child stars, child stars, child stars, child stars.
He sort of repeats that phrase over and over again.
Child stars?
Child stars.
Is that what it's about?
Kind of, yeah.
And he sounds insane when he's doing it in a very successful way.
And you don't have that section there in the hub version.
Anyway, no disrespect to the Clap Your Hands Brigade or the hub or anyone involved with either of those two.
Right now, it's time to launch the nation's favorite feature.
Here's the jingle.
Text-a-nation jingle.
Will you allow me just to mop up some emails that have come in from last week's Text the Nation.
I love mopping.
Ways that you mangle famous people's names in order to kind of sort of wrest some kind of power back.
Here's one from Matthew Kumar.
He says, we call M Night Shyamalan.
He's just, that's just asking to be mangled.
Begging for it.
I call him M Night Shawadiwadi.
I call him M Night Charlatan.
Do you?
Yes.
that's barbed i call it to him uh i call it him to his face and he fell over did he he fell over couldn't he couldn't even stand up after that uh matthew kumar says he calls em oh what is that sound it comes drifting over the mountains
It causes me to lose concentration.
Oh, sorry, mate.
You asked me to bring it in this week.
Yeah, but that's too exciting to do in the middle of that email.
That was the mouth harp.
I can't focus now.
Sorry, mate.
Anyway, M. Night Shyamalan, he calls him M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong.
Oh, that's very similar to yours.
It's good, isn't it?
M. Night Sharla Tan.
Here's another good one that made me laugh.
Rich Price says, we used to call Hugh Andrews Huge Android.
It's hilarious.
If you're wondering who Hugh Andrews is, he used to work for a company I used to work for.
I like that.
There's a couple more, hang on.
Sarah Jessica Parker says Nicola Stockle calls her Sarah dressed up as a car park.
Nice, that's good.
I like ones that are kind of over elaborate.
Helena Bonham Carter.
Helena Bottoms a farter.
That's quite good.
And you know what a Scottish friend of mine calls Madonna?
What?
Manana.
Is that rude?
As in, like, she's like my nana.
You know what I mean?
That's good.
Oh, it's my nana.
I like that one.
Claire McIlwrath, I hope I've pronounced that correctly, calls Avril Lavigne Bovril Latrine.
Nice.
Yeah?
That'll teach her a lesson.
Give us a bit of jaw harp action.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get... That's a big inhale.
This is my Christmas present from Joe.
Play a tune.
What shall I play?
What's at number one at the moment?
I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't even know what the tune was.
Just play any recognisable tune.
Okay, Killer Queen.
It's very difficult.
Why?
And that's good.
That's good.
Keep practising.
OK, that's great stuff.
But now it's time for this week's Text the Nation, which is on the following subject.
And remember, the idea for Text the Nation is fairly straightforward.
We give you a subject and you text us with your kind of input on it.
The text number is 64046.
And this week's subject is things, pop culture or things that you encountered when you were too young and they freaked you out.
And they sort of traumatised you for whatever reason.
Now I would cite as my examples aged I think 10 going to a video shop and renting a double bill of The Exorcist and Zombie Flesh Eaters.
What were your parents doing?
It was my friend Jolyon Parsons' parents and they were out.
Oh my goodness.
And back in those days there were no certificates on video.
Right.
So we were able to rent those too.
Double video nasty.
I had the most unpleasant sleepless night of my life.
Of course you did.
horrible oh my lord and you watched both of the films double bill thing number two i would cite uh would be going to see the national theater's production of uh the creation it was a kind of bible stories thing it was a promenade performance where you could walk around i was very young i was sat cross-legged on the floor they wheeled a big tub of earth into the area out of the tub of earth uh popped a naked man and a naked lady right
It was right in front of my eyes!
It's in the way of my eyes!
His little jingly jangly collection, with little bits of earth dropping off it, I can still remember.
Her, you know, bits and bobs.
Her seaweed.
The third thing I would cite is reading James Herbert's The Fog.
Oh I remember that one.
Of course there's no certificates on books.
James Herbert.
Kids can read anything and I discovered that very young and started buying horror novels and there's a bit in a gym with a gym teacher and a group of kids and a big pair of scissors that really shouldn't be read by kids of my age.
He was the big guy to read it at school because it was so grotesque.
Also there was a lot of filth in there.
Like he had long passages of quite explicit filth.
What would you what would you go for Adam on that subject?
Well, in a sort of banal way, my whole young life was dominated by the threat of nuclear extinction.
Right.
And so it was all just loads of documentaries about Hiroshima and stuff.
And, you know, the CND movement was...
stuff like when the wind blows and threads yeah exactly all that kind of nuclear annihilation stuff was uh at its most active when i was about 10 or 11 or something and i just couldn't i just couldn't bear it i was just wandering around thinking well we're all gonna die in the worst most horrific possible way imaginable and no one's really doing anything about it you know and what's more my parents who are quite conservative
um, were sort of poo-pooing all of the CND stuff and pouring scorn on the Greenham Common protesters and I just didn't understand why!
I just thought they've got the right idea, what have we, we can't do anything about it, we're all gonna die, it's gonna be awful.
Maybe you were right.
Now it's all starting again with the government going nuclear.
Yeah, man.
It's all happening again.
Well they should show those programs again, man.
I hope they will.
traumatise a whole new generation so text us with pop cultural things that you encountered too young and freaked you out and tell us you know how they freaked you out and what happened what the consequences were you know whether you've turned into some sort of an axe murderer whether you have flashbacks text 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk right now here's a track that i've chosen for you listeners i'm sure this one probably gets played quite a lot on uh six music and
many other radio stations but it's a peach it came on on on my iPod over Christmas when I was you know sat down with some friends and it sounded amazing I just thought why is this I can't you know I'd forgotten how good this one was it's a good one to dance to in a club and it's an old sort of 60s psychedelic classic from the count five this is psychotic reaction
I feel so lonely night and day
BBC six music on digital online BBC six music do it do it do it do it do it do it do it now say it say it say it say it say it say it say it now
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now Say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it now Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now
We open up, we talk We are ready, we are ready for the fall I can't hear your voice, do I have a choice?
I'm hoping with chance you might take the stance I can't hear your voice, do I have a choice?
I'm hoping with chance you might take the stars You're one of the wonders Instead of calling up the wall Why don't you open up this wall?
I'm ready
We are ready, we are ready for a fall I can't hear your voice, do I have a choice?
You're sick and alone, I'm using my force I'm hoping with chance you might take the stance You're my number one love
You're my number one, yeah, number one Instead of calling up number one, number number one When you open up we talk, number number one We are ready, we are ready for the fall
there you go that's excellent stuff isn't it hot chip with ready for the floor couldn't really ask for more could you from a song hot chips uk tour kicks off at lester university on the 14th of february their new album made in the dark is also out next month thank you very much johnny facts
That was Johnny Music Facts there in the corner of the room.
He's full of music facts.
Music facts.
Give us another music fact, Johnny Music Facts.
Queen were a band with Freddie Mercury in it.
Always a source of interesting entertainment nuggets there, Johnny Music Facts.
Now, folks, I don't know about you, but I've always been worried about some of the factual inaccuracies in the Bible.
How do you feel about that, Joe?
That's territory I steer clear of.
Well, you know, because it could shake your faith if you found out that there were discrepancies in reports between various apostles and that kind of thing.
Do you know what I'm saying?
And luckily, a magazine came through my door via the Jehovah's Witnesses this week called Awake, which is dealing with a lot of the anxieties.
We have a lot of listeners who are Jehovah's Witnesses, so tread carefully.
absolutely big Jehovah's Witness families I know and they're very violent as well so I wouldn't want to disrespect them or stir up any kind of religious war but this is from awake magazine speaking now November issue all right mr. gutless it's not exactly the Muslims we have to worry about it too much
That was a joke, okay?
That was just a little joke there for you.
When you said joke, he didn't mean Joe Cornish and Adam Buxton speaking there.
No disrespect to any religious group whatsoever, especially... Adam Buxton backpedaling there.
Especially... Anyway, especially the violent ones.
But this is from Awake.
Which I was going to quote as a little light-hearted thing, but now because of your constant, you've made this into like a religious war, I'm frightened now to be handling Awake.
What I wanted to tell you was that they're just dealing with some very simple discrepancies in the Bible here, or perceived discrepancies.
For example, reasons to trust the Bible, they're saying.
Now, maybe you would be worried, as I said before, about the fact that there might be discrepancies, reasonable differences between various accounts of Jesus's life.
Says here, consider an example.
Did Jesus wear a purple garment on the day of his death, as Mark and John report?
Or was it scarlet as Matthew says now you I know you've been very worried about I can't stop thinking about that exactly Well, really it was the robe exactly really cuz you know, you can't believe in someone Yes, people saying well, maybe his robe was red maybe scarlet
Which colour was it?
I'm finding it hard to believe in the messiah.
I regard wrong coloured robes as sacrilegious.
Exactly.
Well, don't worry about it because it says in Awake magazine, really both can be correct.
Purple has components of red in it, depending on the observer's angle of view, light reflection and background could have subdued certain hues, giving different casts to the garment.
I love subduing hues.
Yeah.
Well, Hugh needs a bit of subduing.
Yeah, he goes on.
He really does.
The harmony of the Bible writers, including their unintentional consistency, further stamps their writings as trustworthy.
Yeah?
Nice finger click.
Well, it deserves it.
So there you go.
It's cleared something up for you there.
The colour of the robe.
I'm happy I think for just a comment about the colour of a robe you got yourself into a lot of unnecessary hot water.
I got myself.
Well I kind of maneuvered you into it cleverly.
You pushed me into the hot water.
Listen listeners if you're trying to text us on text the nation there's been a technical problem and we've received no texts
at all here in the studio we're trying to sort that out it's a scandal with the big british cart british castle technical department nation's favorite feature and you can't even text you got to remember that here at the big british castle the technical department is it's basically got alchemists and big sort of wooden cogs uh various children wizards on on treadmills what wizards wizards yeah that's what they're called are they yeah
So it's no wonder things break down every now and then, you know, the little trained cats that operate the mechanisms are maybe feeling a bit sickly.
So, but we'll get that going soon.
Don't forget, you can also email, that's probably the best way to contact us with your childhood pop cultural traumas, adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
We'll inform you the moment the techs come back online.
Now here's some more music from the Maximo Park with books from boxes.
Night falls and towns become circuit boards We can beat the sun as long as we keep moving From the air stadium lights stand out like flares And all I know is that you're sat here right next to me
We rarely see warning signs in the air we breathe Right now I feel each and every fragment This paper trail leads right back to you You say you need me to step outside
In books and boxes, you pass me up So as not to break a promise Scattered polaroids in spring coverts Around your collar in the wrong room You said you knew that this would happen Well this is something new, but it turns out it was borrowed too Why does every letdown have to be so thin?
Rain explodes at the moment that the cab door closed I feel the weight upon your kiss ambiguous You have to leave, I appreciate that But I hate when conversation slips out of our grasp
In books and boxes, you passed me up So as not to break a promise Scattered for the rides and sprinkled words Around your collar in a log book You said you knew that this would happen
Two bodies in motion, this is a matter of fact, it wasn't built to last Two bodies in motion, this is a matter of fact, it wasn't built to last You spend the evening unpacking books from boxes You pass it up so as not to break your promise
Pour the right and sprinkle words around your father in the long run You said you knew that this would happen The pounding rain continued its big fall And we decided just to write after all, after all
The pounding rain continued its bleak fall We decided just to rise after all
Maximo Park with Books from Boxes.
What a wonderful sound they have, the park.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
And right now, we would like to just remind listeners that if you've been trying to text for Text the Nation, the nation's favourite feature, there has been a problem with the texts.
Problem is now fixed.
However, if you texted sort of before about five minutes ago, you will have to resend if you do want us to read your texts.
We do apologise.
It's not our fault.
But on behalf of the big British castle, we apologize for that technical failure.
It's actually Joe's fault.
Is it?
Yeah.
It's Joe Cornish's fault.
I don't know, I'm just blaming you randomly.
Yeah, it's good.
No, I'll take the blame.
It was my fault.
Yeah, it was my fault.
It's Joe's fault.
So keep texting 64046.
It's all working fine now with your childhood pop cultural traumas.
Now it's time to launch this week's Song Wars.
It's time for songs Wars, the war of the songs, a couple of tunes
our songs to the listener test.
So check it out.
So sorry Dick Thompson about the bad grammar there but we just decided that... That has more joie de vivre?
The production's a little bit better there.
What's the opposite of joie de vivre?
It's ennui de vivre.
Is it?
probably not thanks a lot thanks a lot that would have done me yeah so i can't quite remember how we got ourselves into this mess but last week we decided to do songs about mythical creatures cryptozoological phenomena like bigfoot and nessie and well we were talking about the police weren't we the band the police the fact that they'd reformed and we were reminiscing about one of our favorite police albums synchronicity
Yeah, which we're about to play a track from in a second.
So we decided to divvy up the mythical beasts and do a song about one each.
I love mythical beasts and monsters generally.
You know, I just like to believe that they exist.
Yeah, you're a big fan of cryptozoology.
Well, they're the last little bit of kind of magic in the world.
Aren't they?
Yes, well, it's a sort of X-Files thing, isn't it?
It's early X-Files.
The X-Files became very lost, and in the first couple of series it used to do that kind of thing, but then it abandoned it.
Just mentioning the X-Files, Adam, to be perfectly honest, is a reductive and diminishing thing for the monsters.
The X-Files is a tiny kind of parasite on the idea of monsters.
The monsters themselves are far more powerful.
You used to love the X-Files.
I did, yeah.
What's happened with you and the X-Files?
Have you had like a fight?
That's a different conversation.
The X-Files went down the toilet.
I've had a bit of an argument with the X-Files.
I have, yeah.
I have.
I went very wrong.
So which creature did you pick?
I've chosen Bigfoot.
Because I bagged the Loch Ness monster.
and I wish I hadn't.
Really?
Oh my goodness.
In fact, Adam and I met yesterday on different business and Adam was looking very sort of sad and confused.
It was about four in the afternoon.
Four in the afternoon.
And he asked me, have you done your song yet?
I said, yes, I have.
I hadn't even started.
He hadn't even started.
Got home at 5.30.
It went badly, man.
It was really hard.
It was the most difficult one.
I'm going to lose pretty much.
You think?
Yeah.
You're setting yourself up for a win.
Yeah, you are.
My reverse psychology theories.
I hope so.
No, it's a disastrous one.
Shall I go first or do you want to go first?
Don't mind.
Listen man, I've got so little faith in mind that I'm going to wheel it out first and people can make of it what they will.
So yours is about Nessie.
Yeah.
Is it about Nessie?
You know, I don't know.
Let's see what you think.
What's it called?
The Loch Ness Monster song.
I mean it's just... No, I get that title, I understand it.
Alright then.
Let's hear it.
My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness I've lived in here for hundreds of years It's relatively free from stress But every now and then someone comes along And tries to take my pick But even when they do, people look and say No, I think that's just a stick But I don't care what people say As long as they leave me be
I like to swim around and eat some plants It's boring but at least I'm free Sometimes I can get in shrubs if I go for a walk People tend to see a big fish horse and then they start to talk They say can we do an interview half an hour is all we need We can pay you lots of money but I'm not into greed They offered me a part in a Hollywood film They said this is gonna be big
But it was just Ted Danson wearing a frightening wig In 2003 the BBC came and did extensive tests They came to the conclusion that I don't exist, which made me quite depressed Cos my name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a Scottish lake I've lived in here for hundreds of years so I don't see how I can be fake
Just cause I don't go parading around Like a giant horsefish ponce People seem to think I'm up myself And I get labelled a monster I was gonna do big brother Depending on who else they got Well when I saw the extras Christmas special I thought well maybe not
My name's Mike I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness My name's Mike I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness My name's Mike I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness My name's Mike I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness
Mike yeah yeah I like it sort of a builder's name exactly I thought he was a regular guy maybe someone who was a bit depressed about being labeled Nessie you know yeah I considered singing it in a Scottish accent and that was good better off it I like that you know that was really um maybe feel for Nessie yeah good and the situation and I like the mention of the extras Christmas special
Well, I was thinking, you know, because that's made everyone think about the nature of faith.
I know, I agree.
I used to think Big Brother was great and he was really interesting until Ricky Gervais told me different.
That was really good.
So vote if you want that to win Song Wars this week, 64046.
My Bigfoot songs can be embarrassingly committed now.
Is it?
I went for a kind of a sort of a rock thing.
Yeah.
Kind of a funky rock thing.
And I think I pushed my vocal skills to the limits.
Oh, wow.
I can't wait.
Let's hear it.
Yeah, here it is.
Baby, let me take you down to Saskatchewan to Me little friend of mine goes by the name of Bigfoot Can break your arms out and pull your head off, baby Honey, do not be afraid to Step into this cave to
He's big and hairy and smelly You might have seen him in a documentary on the telly They captured him on Super 8 But they can't catch him, he's a Super 8 The missing link with the dreadful sting He's ten feet tall with enormous balls, yeah You might think he don't exist Oh, prove it, baby, don't resist Just take my hand, watch for his tracks He'll eat us up
Like a twin twigs pack Ooh, we could try and make a plastic house But believe me baby, we won't last, no Human being can run fast They're not escaping creatures that's that fast Believe it, I can understand you're skeptical You wanna collect hair samples and receptacles Don't believe the cryptos who are logical
Wow, that's actually Bigfoot at the end.
That's like the Mars Volta.
Amazing that's so complex.
You've gone to the next level on garage band.
Do you think yeah, that's wow Wow Are you standing up when you sang I always stand up because the microphones in the top of the computer to stand up boy I think my neighbors think I'm insane.
Yeah, I bet they do because
you when you record those things you do through the headphones yeah you don't want the sound of the playback on the shore so they just think that's impressive so that was Joe Cornish is Sasquatch song is it Sasquatch or Bigfoot yeah big the big big Bigfoot song the big big Bigfoot song welcome to Saskatchewan
yeah yeah maybe that's what it's called i liked it so if you want to vote for that one 64046 vote joe or if you want to vote for the the the song about oh sorry yeah you've got an email adamandjoe.6music at pbc.co.uk uh or if you want to vote for adam's uh song about mike the the lake monster the loch ness monster
then then vote Adam Adam and Joe dot six music at pbc.co.uk but right now oh yes sorry available to re-listen to uh on our little area on the six music website from from monday morning or from after the show kind of thing from nowish oh my lord so if you're listening again you know you can listen again what but here's a reminder of the song that inspired all this cryptozoological i love this song songsmithery one of our favorite songs from the classic album synchronicity by the police this is synchronicity
this time
Red Light Street, all you ever...
No boxes, contestants in a suicidal race
Yeah, there you go, The Police with Synchronicity 2.
It's an absolute peach.
Yeah, great song that.
We had an email as well, Ree Nessie from Billy Duncan, who's an architect up in Edinburgh.
He says, I'm afraid that your assertion that the Loch Ness Monster was a water horse and that such creatures are benign was somewhat misleading in order that unwary listeners do not
attempt to approach such creatures I would draw your attention to the fact that water horses or kelpies in Scottish legend are dangerous and can drag any unsuspecting person foolish enough to touch or ride them to their doom.
Now that was actually a myth that was put out.
A what?
It was a myth.
What the myth that you're not supposed to touch them?
Of the kelpies yes to keep children away from the edge of the loch.
You're talking rubbish, Adam.
Myth.
Nonsense.
You know there's a very, if you're anywhere near Edinburgh, there's a very fine kind of interactive Nessie visiting centre that you can go to in central Edinburgh, run by a fantastic sort of bearded old scientist guy, or his son maybe, and they do a whole like 3D film all about Nessie.
It's a kind of weird sort of home produced 3D film.
Right.
It's quite an eccentric place, but when I was last in Edinburgh, I visited it and I loved it.
Oh, that sounds good.
Listen, here's a bit of a free player quickie just before the news.
This is Cody Chestnut from his album The Headphone Masterpiece.
This is called Up in the Treehouse.
Dream dream that's all I do Dream dream about me and you Hello my best friend Do you ever stop and just think about All the games we used to play
Dream dream that's all I do Dream dream about me and you Dream dream that's all I do
Hello, my best friend.
Do you ever stop and just think about all the games we used to play when we were growing in the springtime of our youth?
Dream, dream, that's all I do.
Dream, dream about me and you.
Yeah, that's Cody Chestnut with Up in the Treehouse.
It's time now for the news, ladies and gentlemen, read by Harvey Cook and Lucio Docty.
Fierce parking laws could spell chaos, rise in baptisms linked to school's place battle, and Hayne faces more donations questions.
And in Six Music News' spectacular opening for Liverpool 08, Bragg's prison scheme is working and Macca support for ex-EMI boss.
Charges for parking breaches will vary, with fines for the most serious rising by up to 20%.
Councils will also be able to send tickets in the post.
Nick Lester, Director of Transport for London Councils, has defended the measures.
Quite clearly, having penalties that are more closely linked to the scale of the contravention concerned must be fairer for individuals.
And as for the suggestion that it's more difficult to appeal, that's absolute nonsense.
Next on 6 Music, more older children are being baptised by parents who want to send them to popular Catholic schools.
The number of 1 to 13 year olds being baptised has almost trebled in the past 50 years.
Catholic priest Father Ed Hone says parents' motives are understandable but can't be condemned.
We assume parents are trying to do something good to have the children baptised and to get them into a good Catholic school.
But at the same time, for every child that's squeezed into a school, another child is denied that opportunity.
So it's not really fair.
To work in pensions, Secretary Peter Hayne is to release a statement later this morning about the donations to fund his campaign for Labour's deputy leadership.
He failed to declare more than £100,000 to the Electoral Commission.
There's a warning that the outbreak of the norovirus vomiting bug isn't over yet.
Three million people are now thought to have been hit by it in England and Wales.
President Bush has been addressing American troops in Kuwait, the latest stop on his Middle East tour.
He told them there was no doubt the war on terror would succeed.
Hollywood directors begin their pay negotiations with the major studios today.
As the writers' strike rumbles on, tomorrow's Golden Globes ceremony has been cancelled because actors won't cross the writers' picket line.
Sport, and in the Premier League, Nicolai Onelka looks likely to start for Chelsea after completing his £15 million move from Bolton.
The leader's Arsenal played Birmingham at the Emirates, while Manchester United take on Manage a Less Newcastle.
Now, a six-music news, Lucio Doherty.
Six-music news.
Ringo Starr was among the thousands of musicians who converged on Liverpool last night to celebrate the city being the capital of culture, 2008.
Julie Kellen was there for six music.
Well Lucy, I think last night's spectacular launch will be remembered for generations to come.
More than 1,300 musicians and performers perched on top of buildings around the centre, beside ab-sailors, pyrotechnics and the Wombats who sang their latest single with the drummer wearing a bear suit.
The climax, though, was former Beatle Ringo star performing on top of St.
George's Hall with a crowd of 40,000 singing along to his latest single, Liverpool 8.
You can hear more from Julie in tomorrow's Music Week, which will come live from Liverpool.
In other 6music news today, a Billy Bragg scheme to cut reoffending rates for convicted criminals has had dramatic results.
Named Jail Guitar Doors after the Clash B-side, Bragg's project provides musical instruments to inmates, which he says raises morale.
And it's working.
The reoffending rate for prisoners involved is now just 10 to 15 percent, much lower than the national average of 61 percent.
And Sir Paul McCartney says he's sent a note of support to the former EMI UK boss Tony Wadsworth.
Wadsworth resigned this week after 20 years at EMI as part of the ongoing restructuring at the label.
Macca says he's a mate and he wanted to show his support.
That's six music news, your next bulletin is at 11.30.
On the Music Week this week, I'll be live from Liverpool for the opening weekend of the Capital of Culture celebrations, bringing you all the latest from the likes of Ringo Starr and Echo and the Bunnymen.
Plus, in this week's agenda, how would you make festivals better?
We'll take the best to the bosses behind our Summer of Music.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
BBC 6 Music, Adam and Joe.
I am Governor Cherry Brown I are a smile that never frowns Soon I will be President Count of power will suit the way
You'll take my man and...
Who said I just will control you?
A good person, natural You will talk of a master race And always wear the hat, please Because your eyes can't happen here A victory run by horses here The hippies won't come back, you see Never outdoor you will be Never outdoor you will be California
Now it is 1984 Knock-a-knock at your front door It's the suede denim secret police They have come for your uncool niece Come quietly to the town You look nice as a drawstring lamb
What a frightful noise.
That's the Dead Kennedys with California Uber Alice.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music right now.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
Yes it's Text the Nation, the nation's favourite feature as voted for by Chat magazine.
That's actually not true.
No that isn't true.
But it sounds good.
Sounds great.
Yeah, Chat's one of the best mags in the world.
Just to remind you, you know that in Scotland, Chat's is slang for a lady's breast staring.
Really?
Yeah.
One bit that Chris Rock did was he did a whole thing about how idiotic those women's magazines are and he said in his house he treats them like pornography.
If he sees a celebrity magazine is in his house, he just gets rid of them as if it's hardcore pornography quite right I agree.
Oh, I thought you meant like he stuffed them under his bed So it's it
It's Text the Nation and this week's theme is pop cultural things that freaked you out as a kid and I have to make it clear that we're kind of looking for adult stuff that you saw too early rather than, you know, monsters in Doctor Who that freaked you out or kind of juvenile stuff that freaked you out.
This is, you know, you're crossing the threshold of adult pop culture too early.
You know, you've stumbled, your parents have gone out and you've watched telly late, you've accidentally rented a video out, you've picked up a book that you possibly shouldn't have
that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah you get me i got you man yeah believe truth here's one from patrick doyle when i was about 11 i started watching video nasties around my friend bradley's house it's always the nasties video nasties were big news then and bradley who was a bit of a rebel had some mysterious way of obtaining them one day we watched a nasty called unhinged which involved lots of people getting chopped up
It freaked me out so much that when I went home that night, I was forced to concoct an elaborate scheme to avoid having to go to bed in my own room.
I got a hot water bottle, took it to bed with me, and secretly emptied it all over my bed.
I went and told my parents that the hot water bottle had burst and that I'd have to go to sleep on the spare bed in my brother's room.
It worked.
I got to sleep in my brother's room, but I think to this day I think my parents... What?
My parents think I wet my bed.
Well, that's not bad.
I mean, you know, it's worth it sometimes.
The question is, why are, it's a rite of passage, isn't it?
But it's sad that children have to force each other to watch these things because it's kind of bravado, isn't it?
You get round and you're- No, no, no, you're just, I was curious.
Of course, it's curiosity, but it's also- The cover, the video covers are so tantalizing.
It's also a bit of bravado, though.
You know, you don't want to be the first to say, actually, can we not watch this?
I'd say there's that to it, but I'd say, you know, any inquiring mind wants to know what's being held from them in life.
You know, you're a child, you want to know what's out there in the world.
That's true.
And at that age, films are like little, and books are like little boxes of education.
Even unhinged.
Yeah, for me they were.
I made all sorts of wrong connections by watching that kind of thing.
Well, it's very wonky education, isn't it?
Yeah, here's an email from Frenzy.
Hi Adam and Joe.
When I was six I was watching Superman 3 and was sat in the front room by myself when some guy in the movie hit a fire hydrant in his car and water started squirting into the car until the whole car was full of water like a giant aquarium and the guy was trapped inside.
Do you remember that classic scene?
Yeah, this was the most horrific thing I've ever seen.
And I was screaming, why didn't he smash the windows?
Why didn't he climb out?
Eventually Superman saved him, but it's made me very wary of cars ever since.
It's a ludicrous scene as well as being sort of cool.
I mean, it's a trippy image, but there's no way that a car would just hold all that water, is there?
My mum and dad explained English cars are airtight because... No, hang on.
Rewind.
Rewind.
Rewind.
My mum and dad explained that English cars are alright because they have special gaps around the doors so water can escape.
Aww.
Good old mum and dad.
But I wasn't convinced.
That's actually not from... Well, Frenzy is his AKA.
His name's Joe and he lives in Amazing Stoke.
It's a good name for it.
We spent a lot of time in Basingstoke, if that's where you're from.
And you're right, it is amazing.
It is amazing.
Yeah.
Bazy.
As a child my parents always encouraged me to read books that were too old for me in what was a failed attempt to make me clever.
This is from Peter Green.
We read out too much Peter Green but this is good anyway.
Sorry Peter, no insult.
I remember being about 10 years old and reading the book Papillon by Henri Charrière.
The main character in the book is sent to a penal colony and while in captivity he hides his money from the prison guards by stuffing it up his bottom.
At the time, I was so horrified by what I read that I got even more confused and I thought that the money was actually being hidden on the other side of the body in a place where there is even less space to hide things.
Oh, I see what he's getting at.
Yeah, that's confusing.
Peter, you had a confused childhood.
In the winky purse.
Yeah.
I didn't discuss what I'd read with anyone.
I just decided that I was going to have to wait until I was a lot older before I could even try and hide money about my person.
That's very mature.
Remember, 50 pence pieces were a lot bigger back then.
Well, I certainly hope you didn't try any of that.
That would be a disgrace.
There's lots more to come.
Talk about dirty money.
We'll come back to them in a second.
Let me just give you one more, one more, one more.
Yeah.
Oh, no, I'm not going to.
OK.
Yeah, because there's a few that I've been remembering all sorts of little nuggets as well.
Keep them coming in, text 64046, the texts are now functioning, or email adamandjoe.sixmusic.co.uk.
Hey, I should mention as well, if anyone has an idea for Song Wars, a theme, and I tell you what's good is a style as well.
So you give us a theme and the type of music you'd like to hear.
The more rules the better, really, isn't it?
Yeah, exactly.
The more strictures, the more complex a brief you need filled, the better.
So do email us with those as well.
That would be cool.
Now I've got a free choice for you listeners.
And this is... I was surprised, actually, that you'd let this one slip past because it's very mellow indeed.
And it's also quite long.
But it's just lovely.
And it's not an album that I'm that familiar with.
It's by Lamb Chop.
And which album is it?
It's called Is a Woman, I think, is the album, isn't it?
And it's a lovely album, like I was convinced to buy the album because the video for the song, Is a Woman, is amazing.
I advise you to check it out on YouTube.
Is this a new one or an old one?
No, it's about five years old, I think.
Lamb Chop are great, I like Lamb Chop.
Yeah, they're really good.
And this one, again, it was one of those things that popped up on my iPod and I was just knocked out by it and I thought, I can't believe I never persevered with this album.
So I went back to it, sure enough, it's an absolute smash, the whole album.
And this is a lovely song, My Blue Wave by Lamb Chop.
You lay around the house Nothing much to bark about Jump on to the bed
Just bones and squirrels inside your head This is the only life I see For you And if I gave a crap
That show you where my head is at I would ride the moon And even if it comes too soon I could fall for you
fall for me so we go on to the shows and happiness is all we know how it got to you
And how it got to me too I wish I never knew About my life
And William called and tried Tell me that his sister's boyfriend has just died
And I'm not sure what to do And I'm not sure what to tell him to do
So what's the girl to do?
Sits on the couch and she's feeling blue Shakes it in the cup And she doesn't mind if it stays up
Never mind the world My girl And the best is yet to come You may think you are
And never get it right Just stick around on this lovely, lovely night And we may be amazed By my blue eyes
And conclude this interview Many facts and fictions you construe
The dog gives you the paw And you pat his head and you wipe his jaw He's the only one who knew About my
My blue way My heart
Night listeners.
Nice little nap.
Sleep tight.
I reckon that that's got to be the longest and most laid-back song ever played on a Saturday morning on a BBC station.
What do you reckon?
Maybe it was a mistake and maybe you found that torturous listeners but I can't believe that a lot of you did.
BB King.
Guitar shows.
Thanks a lot.
Ah, love that one.
That was Lambchop with My Blue Wave.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music, the home of Sixes and music.
So what would you do in this situation, right?
I'd run.
Would you?
Oh, sorry.
Last night I went to see a thing at the Battersea Arts Centre here in London called The Mask of the Red Death by an amazing theatre company called Punch Drunk.
What they do is they take over entire buildings, they dress them to the standard of a Hollywood movie.
Oh my lord.
In a kind of very detailed representation of whatever play they're doing.
Then you basically wander through the space.
Right.
And you encounter scenes from the play in a promenade style.
You just walk into a room.
and they'll be like an old washer woman washing a rag in this amazingly detailed room.
There's speakers everywhere playing amazingly atmospheric music.
You're encouraged to wear kind of period clothing and you wear eyes wide shut style masks.
Every member of the audience has a mask on.
very erotic yeah it really was i could i could you know some kind of people party could have easily happened you were hoping it was going to be like that scene in nice white shirt i've never really been to a masked event before but every woman looks gorgeous that's true they do a little bit of uh yeah amazing i mean i can't imagine the horror when the masks are taken off but certainly with them on
Anyway, sit with me.
This thing was amazing.
If Punchdrunk ever do anything near you, I encourage you to go.
And it's running till April if you if you live in Londinium.
It was incredible.
Yeah.
Every day, is it?
At the back?
I think so.
I don't know.
You'd have to go on their website.
Right.
So I was wandering around and I was encouraged by a couple of friends who'd seen it before, too.
They said, don't follow the crowd.
Just go off.
the second you see a door that no one's gone through just go through it yeah and you basically walk around this building it's very very dark everything lit by little flickering candles you try every door that you come across you never know what's going to be behind it so what would you do in this situation i opened a door and there was this kind of uh uh victorian edwardian i don't know washer woman
I don't know what period Poe wrote in.
When did he write?
I don't know what that would be.
I said a gothic, isn't it, like late 18th century or 19th century.
She's washing rags in this room full of medicine bottles, beautifully set decorated.
I open the door, I close it behind me.
It's just me and her in the room.
Speakers are going... She turns and sees me.
me's she screams Joe Cornish music she just screams as if I'm Satan huh grabs me pushes me against the wall slams me against the wall literally quite physically staring into my eyes pressing her body physically very close yeah starts going do you have it are you poisoned are you infected huh
I didn't know what to do.
So I thought, they tell you at the beginning, don't talk at any point.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you're not allowed to talk at all or make any noise unless you're a performer.
Yeah.
So I just shut up.
She started touching my face.
She pressed her body right up against me.
And when I say me, I mean me.
little joe and she's little joe she starts stroking my shoulders she's breathing so close to my face it's like an acting workshop yeah catapulted into she's touching she's looking at my hands going do you have the mark do you have the sinful mark we must wash you she takes me over drags me over to a bowl of water plunges my hand into the water and she's got some kind of trickery my blood starts oozing from my hand she screams again she throws water at me
making me all wet, throwing water at me, then she clasps me again.
It's a rollercoaster.
Then she takes my mask off, looks right into my eyes, puts her face completely close to mine, and is stroking my face, going, will you deliver me?
Will you save me from this terrible scourge?
Will you save me?
I used to really like The Edmund Joe Show.
I didn't know what now the thing going through my head was a please please little man stop being excited little joe sit down before she notices b thing number b are those numbers thing number b was do i i so wanted to join in i was so caught up in the moment i want to remind her she was literally begging me deliver me from the evil saved i am free
so I was thinking do I talk or not so I started to tell you I did I started going first of all I tried to repress a smile because it was quite amusing to try and be serious and get into the spirit of things then I started going she liked it though we were like in a scene
She said, forgive me, forgive me.
I went, I forgive you.
And you're still on your own at this point.
Would you have done that?
Yeah.
Would you have talked back?
There's no telling.
My friend Edgar went in before me.
We met each other in a corridor.
We didn't recognize each other at first because of the masks.
We circled around each other for a good 45 seconds until Edgar plucked up the courage to go,
Joe?
I went Edgar?
Yes yes.
And he said I've just been erotically assaulted by a nurse.
She's doing it to everyone.
I know I said where?
He said by the staircase.
I said yes but to the right or the left as you face the staircase.
He said to the left to the left.
So I went
and I sat outside her office waiting to be accosted.
It was like visiting a prostitute and I liked it.
Art prostitute.
Yeah.
So would you have spoken or would you, it was very difficult to remain silent.
It was so engaging and involving.
I don't think I would have spoken because it sounds like a kind of art lap dance.
It kind of was.
Right.
But she didn't seem to mind that I replied, got into the spirit and I think it made it more exciting for us both.
I thought it was a little more erotic than it was.
Did you tuck 20 quid into her bonnet?
I almost reciprocated the touching.
She seemed really scared and I wanted to touch her just on the shoulder.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Later in the performance I had a slightly homoerotic encounter with an oldie worldie tailor.
It's just a sort of sexy roller coaster in there.
Man it was amazing.
The one they did before was Faust and apparently that was somewhere in the east end in an even bigger building.
Apparently that was better than Mask of the Red Death.
How amazing that that kind of thing is allowed to happen in this day and age.
I know well I was thinking in America you probably wouldn't allow it.
Apparently somebody got mugged there.
Right.
uh a guy somebody was wandering around and just a man in a mask came up and in an actively way took their wallet waved it around and walked away i would say that the performers were would be within their rights to be more frightened about being assaulted i like to think it's it's exactly the same psychology as prostitution isn't it in that i thought that um i like to think that oh she thought i was sexy
so she gave me a little bit more that's right that's right which is wrong she was just being really nice there you go all actors are basically prostitutes hey here's a free play uh this is one that you might have heard already uh it's a sort of across the board smash i've got no shame in playing it's lupay fiasco with superstar
if you are
Oh, oh, yeah Yeah, uh, a fresh cool young Lou Tryna cash his microphone, check 212 Wanna believe my own height, but it's too untrue The world brought me to my knees, what if you brung you?
Did you improve on the design, did you do somethin' new?
Where you namin' on the guest list, who brung you?
You, the more famous person you come through And the sexy lady next to you, you come too And then they hit me, standing outside of heaven Waiting for God to come and get me I'm too uncool, unschooled to the rules And too gumshoe, too much of a newcomer And too uncool, like shadowing the veil I battle with it well, though I need a holiday Like lady who's sun blue Go back, whatever you did, you undo Heavy as heaven, the devil owe me two tons too few If I are what you say, you are
the cow
Oh yeah And you better wear your shades The spotlights here can burn holes through the stage Down through the basement past the Indian graves Where the dinosaurs lay then Out through China nearly misses Airliners magnified times five This is pointed at the rhyme I ricochets off the moon and sets the forest ablaze Now that's important to say Cause even with all that most of us don't want it to fade
We wanted to break, meaning we wanted to grow, meaning we wanted to stay.
Like the governor called, and he told him to wait.
Unstrap him from the chair and put him back in his cage.
The audience ain't fazed, and they ain't going to clap, and they ain't going to praise.
They want everything back that they paid, because they've been waiting since 10 to see the lights get different.
The crowd is here
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Every song's her favorite song and mics don't feed back All the reviewers say you need to go and see that And everybody claps cause everybody is pleased And then they all take the stage and start performing for me Like ha ha
Love to say you are the one
Six music, six mix.
The six mix is your opportunity to get into music on a deeper level.
We're going to be drawing from any sort of music anywhere in the world.
Featuring brand new presenter, Yare.
Some of the best DJs and best producers in the world will be featuring on your six mix and we're just going to have a bit of fun with it.
We've got a headline mix from Midfield General, we've got an up-and-coming new group called South Central, they're going to be in the mix, and our archive mix this week comes from Air.
Down by the coast, Styx of Rock are bright and feel to the show this week.
BBC6 Music.
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life Electric word life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time But I'm here to tell you There's something else The afterworld A world of never ending happiness You can always see the sun Day or night
So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills You know the one, the one, Dr. Everything will be alright
Take a look around, at least you got friends I call my own lady for friendly words
Maybe it's cause we're all gonna die.
We do.
What's it all for?
Better live now, or three people come knockin' on your door.
Tell me, you're gonna let me in.
Let it break us down.
No, no, let's go.
Let's go crazy.
Let's get nuts.
It won't grow further than that until they put us in control.
Let's go.
Mm.
Sorry, just playing my mouth up through Prince there.
That's a great track.
It's funny how the intros and outros of those songs are kind of the most evocative bits of the time.
Yeah.
Don't you think?
Just that weird organ noise and hearing him saying that weird stuff at the beginning.
Do they, beloved?
Yeah, that takes me back.
Let's go crazy.
There was a film, wasn't there, that that was part of?
Purple rain, yeah.
Oh, of course it was.
What was I doing?
Shall we do a few more Text-A-Nation texts?
Shall we do some jangles?
Was that really on Purple Rain?
I thought that was pre-Purple Rain.
No.
Oh, there you go.
All my chronology's gone upside down.
Jingle jungles.
Yeah.
Text-A-Nation.
Text, text, text.
Text-A-Nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text-A-Nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
This week's Text the Nation is all about sort of adult pop culture that you stumbled on when you were too young and freaked your tiny little head out.
I was just remembering the first time I saw Altered States.
Yes.
Now that came out.
This is a Ken Russell film.
Brilliant film.
Kind of lost and slightly underrated Altered States with William Hurt.
Have you seen it recently?
I wonder how it stands up.
I'm very proud.
I've got kind of a press book from its original release.
It stands up pretty well.
It's weird.
But the good bits are amazing.
The bit when he goes into the cave and takes the hallucinogenic drugs and kind of devolves into a kind of primitive man and then when he gets back to America he can't stop going primitive.
It's pretty incredible.
And yeah, really powerful, such a weird idea.
It's all based around flotation tanks.
And the idea that if you go... I was basically convinced that if you went into a flotation tank, you would turn into a kind of ape man.
You would immediately devolve into a primitive form of human.
And I know, I thought the same thing.
And then I saw flotation tanks thereafter, like in the world, and the idea that people would go into them voluntarily.
It seemed horrific.
Yeah, absolutely.
I've only ever been in one once and I was still a little bit frightened for that very reason.
And I still don't think I would take any drug and go into a flirtation test.
No way!
I call them flirtation tests.
Because I'm flirting with devolution.
Oh I see, I thought it was little Joe back again.
No.
No, no.
That's some flotation fun.
Now let's deal with some other texts that we've had or emails.
This is from Matt in Clerkenwell in London.
Hi Adam and Joe, I mistakenly watched the David Lynch short The Grandmother.
Haven't seen that one.
On BBC2 when I was 12.
You should really see it and I think I'm right in saying that's the one about the little boy, how can I put this, who makes love to his mattress.
okay uh of an evening yeah and eventually he does it so much that a lady grows out of it i think that's the right one it's incredible and really weird and powerful yeah uh matt just just email in again to confirm that i'm right there but it's very traumatizing and matt saw it when he was 12 it was terrifying i had to turn it off i'm now a big lynch fan but still can't bring myself to watch it again at age 33
Well, I mean, he is the absolute king of nightmares anyway, David Lynch.
And if you see like a race ahead or something, I mean, I saw that when I was pretty young.
And certainly that was a portal to a whole adult world that I didn't want to go down in any way whatsoever.
Just still to this day gives me the chills.
Here's one from Tom in Canterbury.
I watched The Shining when I was about 10.
I remember getting quite excited by the bath scene because I'd never seen capital letters fully nude.
end capital letters woman on the telly before then it all went horribly wrong that's not a good film uh for your first naked lady experience that's true and i think it gives you the whole thing in one yes yeah yes they're young and sexy but you know eventually they'll go all droopy and scabby there's a lot to take in at once yeah yeah they won't necessarily go scabby no don't worry i mean they might and you should be prepared for that eventuality
but there are good skin creams around if you take care of yourself and you eat lots of fruit lucianne brown i hope i pronounced that rightly says when i was 12 my best friend vanessa and i fell in love with marlon brando he was so handsome in black and white and we watched every film we could get our hands on she's 12 remember street car named desire on the waterfront and the one where he pretends to be japanese then we saw last tango in paris
Nice.
We weren't prepared for fat old Brando and the butter up the bum scene.
Yeah.
I still don't think we ever got over it.
I don't think anyone does.
I mean, that's that's a scene that's sort of gone down as part of a sexy legend, really, in cinema history.
And it's been there are adults that haven't got over that.
But when you do see it, it's very shocking.
It's no less shocking nowadays than it used to be.
That scene is quite grotesque.
Here's another one.
I saw the blob too young.
This is from Sarah in Cheltenham.
Whenever I went to the loo, I thought that a red dustpan that was on the other side of the door and visible through the gap under the door was the blob.
I wonder if she's talking about the Steve McQueen one or the Kevin Dillon one.
Who knows?
The remake's really good.
It's not bad, is it?
It's Frank Darabont.
Oh, there you go.
Got a good pedigree.
I was terrified.
It's mine and my twin sister's Marie's 34th birthday today.
Happy birthday, ladies.
Have a good one.
Here's a good one from someone called Akira.
Good name.
Akira Kurosawa, is it?
Yeah.
No.
The bit in Maman de Sauce where the fool guy sews up a bit of ribbon into his chest out of pure love.
I saw it when I was 10.
Yuck.
Girls are rubbish.
That's a good example of a film that, you know, adults would encourage children to see, really, because it's a good film and more sophisticated and nice, but yet it has something kind of horrible but in a kind of non-horror context.
Do you know what I mean?
Well, you get a lot of that at school as well when you first start reading slightly more adult books as set texts.
Like, I just read for the first time Our Man in Havana by Graham Greene, which is an amazing, enjoyable book.
And very upbeat, you know what I mean?
It's got a happy ending and everything.
Everything goes right for the guy, it's enjoyable.
But I remember reading The Power and the Glory at school, about the Whiskey Priest and everything, do you remember that one?
It's all about the nature of faith and, oh, that was depressing as anything.
What's that Pre-Pap Sprout lyric?
Oh yeah, Southern feast and the Whiskey Priest.
But, oh lord, it was so bleak, you know?
And you're just not equipped to deal with that kind of thing as a youngster.
Here's one from Finn in London.
When I was nine years old, I went downstairs very early on a Sunday morning and flicked play on the video that my stepdad watched the night before.
It was the Alan Parker film Midnight Express.
I sat and watched the whole thing.
Think about it.
The stabbings, the bit where the hero rips the tongue out of the prison snitch with his own mouth.
the horrific masturbation scene, the male rapes, the gay sex.
I was and am still disturbed massively.
I still can't fly without completely emptying my bag prior to the flight in case someone has stashed drugs on me.
To be honest, even writing this
has made me slightly emotional.
Well it was emotional to read that.
That's true, Midnight Express is a brilliant example of a film that's just designed to traumatise but in a good way.
Yeah absolutely to stop you taking those crazy drugs.
Well we'll tie up text the nation shortly but first here's a bit more music for you this is The Maccabees with toothpaste kisses.
Cradle me or cradle you I'll win your heart with a rule Pulling shapes just for your eyes So with toothpaste, kisses and lines I'll be yours and you'll be Lay with me, I'll lay with you We'll do the things that lovers do
Put the stars in our eyes And with heart shaped bruises And late night kisses
So we have toothpaste, kisses and lies
Stay with me, stay with you Doing things the lovers do What else to do?
you
That's Maccabees with Toothpaste Kisses.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Now, shall we tie up Textination now or in a second?
Shall we do it in a second?
Let's do it in a second.
But talking of David Lynch, there's a very good clip going around.
Have you seen that clip of him?
No.
What's he done?
Graham Linehan had it on his blog.
He's done a little thing, David Lynch, all about people who watch films on their iPhones or telephones.
And you can find this on the internet.
And he says, can you do a David Lynch impression?
oh i'm trying to think what he sounds like kind of like slow and american like that he says in this clip now if you're playing the movie on a telephone you will never in a trillion years experience the film you'll think you've experienced it but you'll be cheated it's such a sadness that you think you've seen a film on your
beep telephone get real he gets quite aggressive yeah and angry with people i've heard him getting on phones i've seen a clip of him on youtube where he's furious about product placement and anyone who would uh collude with advertising in any way within their film he he goes off on one about it
He is somebody who's capable of making really profoundly terrifying and troubling films.
I thought you were going to say profoundly rubbish ones as well.
No, the bit in... Well, they're kind of... Sometimes they've got a sort of thread of rubbish running through them, haven't they?
Yeah.
But in a funny way, that contributes to the terror.
Yeah.
What's the one where the... He's just... He casts that guy that looks like the most evil, frightening man in the world.
Lost Highway.
Yeah, where he telephones... Yeah, that's the one.
Bill Pullman's house.
Yeah.
And Bill Pullman's there.
Uh-huh.
isn't that just such a weird idea that you'd go to a party and some weird man would come up to you and call your house and and you would answer right yeah it's brilliant i've never made it through the whole of that film though really it's worth sticking with because it's got amazing the climax is amazing he's that yeah he can do unsettling like no one else and there's that bit um in uh the the lovely lesbian lady film
What's it called?
Mulholland Drive.
Mulholland Drive.
The whole bit behind the diner.
Do you remember that bit with the kind of tramp lurking behind there?
That's got to be one of the most terrifying.
I never made it through that one.
Did you not?
Can't make it past the taxi.
Did you miss the Lady Love then?
I don't think I've ever seen the Lady Love, no.
It's worth sticking with.
Is it?
Oh my lord.
Yeah.
Make a little note.
It's way up there.
Delicious.
Didn't have to say delicious.
Why?
I haven't seen the film, I don't know, does that have resonance?
Yes it does.
Delicious.
Star star.
OK, well, let's let's tie up Text the Nation after this next track.
But right now, here's is this another mellow one?
We're very mellow today.
Oh, this is one of Joe's, is it?
Is your Anthony, Anthony Johnson?
Oh, yeah, this is great.
This is an old kind of reggae album from, I think about 82.
But it's a classic and it's been reissued.
I'd never heard of this before.
Oh, Anthony, I thought it was Anthony and the Joe.
No, no, he's called Anthony Johnson.
There you go.
And this track's brilliant.
It's a kind of anthem to stop people shooting each other.
Well, that's... Very pertinent for, you know, people like us that live in South London.
So, you know, listen to this, kids.
This is a great track.
Anthony Johnson with Gunshot.
Every day is a gunshot
Every day is a gunshot And another one get dropped Every day is a gunshot And another one get dropped And we don't want no more of that
Every day is a gunshot
You know if the dreadful gang and killing situation in London and other major cities in the country didn't end and just became an accepted part of life and there was a sort of banal sitcom written about it, that could be the theme tune.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Maybe you should write that sitcom.
Maybe I should.
Characters would just be killed by each other.
In the future, there will be a sitcom like that.
There will, won't there?
Yeah.
It'll just be, oh, it's Dwayne here.
No, Tom, I stabbed him yesterday.
Nevermind.
Yeah.
Got any sprouts?
the sick world.
It sounds like a good show though.
Obviously we're not trivialising a profoundly ridiculous situation that the police and the government should do more about.
Exactly.
And I'm putting a silly voice but I'm serious anyway let's not go into that area.
Gun crime.
It's not safe.
No it's not safe.
Might get shot.
Jingle jungles.
Text the nation!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Text the nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
It's time to wrap it up.
Wrap it!
Here's one from Jane in Cardiff that made my brain smile.
She says, I insisted on watching Apocalypse Now with my elder brother despite only being nine.
The sound of chopper blades still upsets me, deeply traumatized.
I like the idea of someone who might have like a chopper flashback but to Apocalypse Now rather than the Vietnam War itself.
It's like a meta flashback, do you know what I mean?
Yes.
They just re-released Hearts of Darkness on DVD, I noticed.
They have, yeah.
That looks good.
It's an extended cut or something?
No, it's got a documentary about the making of Youth Without Youth, his new film that's supposed to be quite good.
Yeah, 30 Years Later kind of thing.
I'm going to get that.
Just to clue anybody in who's just tuned in, this Text the Nation this week is about adult pop culture that you were exposed to at too early an age and kind of freaked your head out.
Here's one from Matthew Kneeland.
That's true, I got worried about leprosy too.
Every night I would check under my bed to see if there was any lepers, because I was genuinely concerned that they would hide under my bed and touch me with their fingers and give me the disease.
And they didn't really give you much of a clue of what the physical consequences of leprosy were in that film.
It was just like, oh my god, don't touch them, they've got leprosy, it was horrific.
And I said to my mum, It's kind of like It.
Yeah.
But as a disease, isn't it?
So any kid can understand it.
The idea that you touched and you're out.
Exactly.
Literally.
And I said to my mum, what is leprosy?
What could be so bad?
And she said, it's a disease where bits of your body fall off.
all I had in my mind.
You don't want to get leprosy because just random bits will just fall off.
It's not necessarily true is it?
No it's not true.
You just get, it starts with flaky, itchy, flaky scalp.
T-gel, that's what you need for leprosy.
That'll sort you.
Yeah, it's just not bits dropping off like from the, from the get go.
Alice
texts when I was about five I got out of bed and went into the sitting room where my sister and babysitter were watching Top of the Pops Pink Floyd's the wall video was on and I walked in at the bit where the teacher puts the kids through the meat grinder yeah boy yeah I went hysterical I didn't sleep that night or many nights after and was haunted by the image for a long time that song still makes me feel odd
Absolutely.
You're right.
That song was a little cluster of kind of, you know, riotous revolutionary ideas.
Maggie Thatcher was very unhappy about that song.
Everyone was very unhappy about it.
It was encouraging kids not to go to school.
It was depicting teachers as horrible puppets who minced up kids.
Oh my the way is true is that's that scarf isn't it responsible for those images scarf and waters and the Floyd's yeah that was a I agree very traumatizing film very troubling young as well here's one from Dom in London my friend's ninth birthday his parents showed us a pirate of American werewolf
Not only the bloody violence sticks in my mind, but the sex was profoundly disturbing.
26 years on, I still have nightmares about the men in pig masks.
Were they in pig masks?
One of them's in a pig mask, maybe.
Yeah, like pig demons.
The comic nuances of the film were somewhat lost on a nine-year-old.
That's very true.
American Werewolf, when watched as a kid, doesn't come across as a comedy at all.
Well, I remember there being certain bits of stuff that I could see were supposed to be funny.
The levity makes it more terrifying.
I found it comforting.
I found it comforting that there were some laughs to be had.
But then I couldn't believe that the end was so bleak.
Well that's possibly the most, you know, one of the most terrifying moments to see as a kid.
The moment when the Nazi demons smash in the door.
Yeah.
It does a double bluff.
Exactly.
And they're, you know, the kids are watching the Muppets, do you remember?
That's right.
It's such a brilliant little depiction of a cosy British kind of family scene.
Yeah, you got Frank Oz's voice on there and then suddenly, and he thinks he's woken up, doesn't he?
And it's got a horrible throat slicing in it, really realistic.
Do you remember?
Oh, scary stuff.
That's a good one.
Listen, thank you so much for all your texts and emails.
Joe, I really appreciate it, you know, you work so hard and the way you pretend to be all those different people is amazing, you can kind of compose in different voices.
You're embarrassing me, stop it.
You're a marvel, and can I say that you're very attractive as well, and I wish you would get involved in some kind of interactive play at the Battersea Arts Centre because I would love to be part of that.
Quick correction.
What?
We've got the bit in Lost Highway wrong, the scary man meets Bill Pullman at a party and asks Bill to phone his own house, then the scary man is on the other end of the phone at Bill's house, not Bill.
I think my idea was better.
Your idea was better.
Yeah.
Talk to Lynch.
Now it's time for the news, read by Harvey Cook and Lucio Doherty.
On digital radio and online, BBC 6Music.
Haynes set to defend himself in donations row.
Chaos concerns about new parking rules and Redknapp to stay at Portsmouth.
And in 6Music news, Ringo crowns Liverpool celebrations, Billy Bragg project cuts reoffending and Ronnie recovers from herny art.
Just after 11.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
The work and pensions secretary Peter Haynes about to put out a statement on the latest cash route to hit the Labour Party.
He's under investigation for failing to declare donations towards his deputy leadership campaign.
It's understood though that he's not going to resign.
Motoring groups say the new parking rules that come into force in England in March will create confusion and lead to a big increase in fines.
There'll be scaled penalties depending on the severity of the offence.
The government says the new system will be fairer and clearer, but Mike Rutherford of the Motorists' Association thinks it's all about making more money.
We all hear about council tax levels going up because councils don't have enough money and they need to claw back money.
They do that.
by various means including coming down heavily on people who are just trying to put four pieces of rubber, four tires onto a piece of tarmac for a few hours or overnight or whatever.
Next on 6music, parents hoping to get a place for their children in popular catholic schools are said to be behind a dramatic increase in the number of older children being baptized into the church.
The number of one to 13-year-olds being baptised has almost trebled in the past 50 years.
A murder investigation is underway in Hampshire after a 77-year-old woman was found dead in a house near Winchester.
Reports suggest she was stabbed.
There's a warning that the outbreak of the norovirus vomiting bug isn't over yet.
Three million people are now thought to have been hit by it in England and Wales.
President Bush says America will triumph in the war on terror, though there's still much hard work to do in Iraq.
He was speaking to US troops in Kuwait after meeting his top commander there, General David Petraeus.
In sport, Harry Uednap is to stay at Portsmouth.
He says his heart is there and while the offer of the manager's job at Newcastle was flattering and mind-boggling, it wouldn't be right to walk out on Pompey again.
Portsmouth Chief Exec Peter Storey says it's been touch and go.
It's been 50-50 for a few days, to be honest, and I mean some days I felt it was waving one way.
and some days the others.
Probably last night I thought it might be going slightly the other way and I'm glad to say we met up early this morning and we managed to do the last bits of verbal persuasion.
Now with 6Music near Slicio Doctor.
The Liverpool Capital of Culture 2008 celebrations kicked off last night with Ringo Starr performing from the 100 foot high roof of St.
George's Hall.
He was joined by a troupe of acrobats and more than 1300 musicians and performers on other rooftops around the city centre.
40,000 people turned up to watch and they told us they were delighted to be involved.
I'm very proud to be from Liverpool.
I tell everybody that when I go away from Liverpool.
I think it's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to this city.
I'm absolutely delighted with tonight.
It's been fantastic.
I think it's going to put it more on the map, isn't it?
You know what I mean?
Everyone knows something about Liverpool and this year's going to show Liverpool in a good light.
Especially if tonight doesn't happen to go by.
Celebrations continue tonight with the likes of Echo and the Bunnymen, The Farm and the Wombats joining Ringo for a concert.
And Ringo explained why he thought it was time for Liverpool to take centre stage again.
here it was known mainly as a port and then when I left it was known because of the Beatles and now you know it's really grown up I feel and so I think it's great that we can you know spread that message that you know there's a little more to Liverpool than the Fabs.
In other 6Music News today, Billy Bragg has had remarkable results in his latest social project.
He's been raising money to give musical instruments to prison inmates.
For those involved, the reoffending rate has dropped from the national average of 61% to just 10-15%.
And finally, Ronnie Wood is reported to be recovering from a hernia operation after apparently overdoing it on stage.
The 60-year-old has just finished the Rolling Stones' two-year-long Bigger Bang tour.
That's 6Music News, your next bulletin is at 12.30.
On the Music Week this week, I'll be live from Liverpool for the opening weekend of the Capital of Culture celebrations, bringing you all the latest from the likes of Ringo Starr and Echo and the Bunnymen.
Plus, in this week's agenda, how would you make festivals better?
We'll take the best to the bosses behind our Summer of Music.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett, tomorrow from 1.
Adam and Joe's on six music.
I got my heart nailed I got the jitter-sakes But I'm a loo-hoo man I do what it takes
What I really want is in my dreams When the sun goes down I just count the sins and bite me
To the high tail To the motel And if you're all night long I'm a baby whale All I got Is all I need But what I really want Is in my dreams When you hold me down
It goes down
Mmm the mighty super grass with diamond hoo-ha man.
That was super grass.
Mmm.
They've gone quite hardcore haven't they?
Well they're always kind of hardcore at heart you know what I mean?
I've only ever encountered their single material maybe that's why.
The older bands get the more sort of extreme like they either get very mellow.
Just their hearing goes.
Or very angry.
Yeah and they get ill and that their legs hurt.
They just get angry.
That's right they get low energy legs.
Anyway, I think we should remind folks now of Song Wars.
Now, if I was Darren Brown,
I would congratulate you on some subtle psychological setting up going on in that jingle perhaps it will be Adam or it could be Joe you know yeah yeah well done perhaps it will be Adam or it could be Joe you know and a definite affirmative on the first and then you know a sort of a question mark on the second yeah well that was unintentional
Yeah, I'm glad Darren Brown doesn't do our jingles.
He wanted to.
Did he?
But I was too busy.
Are you still buddies with Darren Brown?
I wouldn't say we hang out a huge amount, but if we passed one another in the street we'd have a good chit-chat.
Kill ol' Chinwag.
He invites me to his things.
He's got a new tour, he hasn't invited me to that though.
Has he not?
He's magic.
he is magic he's the king you're magic mate oh you're magic now um song wars this week was about uh cryptozoological creatures that's well said i went wrong in the middle it's bigfoot versus nessie and not only that it's kind of a um a stylistic battle between uh an executed quite hastily song by adam nevertheless
uh very very amusing uh song and then a more sort of um more sort of musically committed uh slightly earnest my take on bigfoot is that he's very very very violent yeah because in pop culture he's often depicted as a kind of comedy foil harry and the hendersons uh the apple dumpling sasquatch gang right stuff like that
Have you ever heard of that?
No.
No one's heard of that.
That hasn't been released yet.
No.
Hasn't been made either.
So my take on Bigfoot is that he is vicious.
Yeah.
And he will kill you.
So you've gone for a kind of, almost like a sort of rock funk thing.
It reminds me a little bit of Fishbone.
I mentioned the Mars Volta before.
I was trying to go for a sort of Jimmy Page kind of, you know, zap kind of thing at all.
Yeah.
Maybe?
No.
Well, let's have a, let's have a listen once again and remind ourselves.
It's just called Bigfoot.
This is Joe's Bigfoot song.
Baby let me take you down to Saskatchewan to Me little friend of mine goes by the name of Bigfoot Gonna break your arms out and pull your head off baby
Be afraid to Step into this cave too Made a friend of mine He's big and hairy and smelly You might have seen him in a documentary on the telly They captured him on Super 8 But they can't catch him, he's a Super 8 The missing Nick with the dreadful stick
He's ten feet tall with enormous balls, yeah You might think he don't exist I'll prove it, baby, don't resist Just take my hand, watch for his tracks He'll eat us up like a twin twigs pack Ooh, we could try and make a blast
But believe me, baby, we won't last, no Human being can run fast enough to escape a creature that's that fast, believe it I can understand you're skeptical You wanna collect hair samples in receptacles Don't believe the cryptos who are logical
Bigfoot.
Do you get that thing?
Musicians, not that I'm a musician, but musicians might sympathise with this when you play a friend something you've written.
Yeah.
What do you physically do?
Yes.
We had a friend we went to school with who used to play us a lot of his own compositions and when he played them he would literally stare at us.
That's right.
With his tongue out.
Yeah because they're so convinced you're going to dig it.
Yeah.
They want to watch the joy on your face.
They want to watch your precise reaction.
Yeah.
Whereas during that I basically sort of went into a little fetal ball.
behind my monitor.
It's difficult.
You should never look at people while you're playing something.
You should leave the room or just give it to them on a CD and go.
But at the same time it's tough to leave the room because it is fun.
You do, you know, especially if you're pleased with it, you do want to see... Yeah, but then you don't want to seem arrogant.
No.
You don't want to be like, oh yeah, I'm great, that song's really great.
But it's certainly very uncomfortable if you're the person who's having the song played to you, if the composer is staring at you going, yeah?
Yeah?
Dig it?
Yeah, you like it?
Well, check this bit out, right?
You see what I'm doing?
Anyway, so I'm going to do that to you now while I play my Loch Ness Monster song.
This is Adam's... Stare at me during it.
I can't, I would not be able to.
Here we go.
My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness I've lived in here for hundreds of years It's relatively free from stress But every now and then someone comes along And tries to take my pick But even when they do, people look and say No, I think that's just a stick But I don't care what people say As long as they leave me be
to swim around and eat some plants it's boring but at least I'm free sometimes I can get in shrubs if I go for a walk people tend to see a big fish horse and then they start to talk they say can we do an interview half an hour is all we need we can pay you lots of money but I'm not into greed they offered me a pot in a Hollywood film they said this is gonna be big
But it was just Ted Danson wearing a frightening wig In 2003 the BBC came and did extensive tests They came to the conclusion that I don't exist, which made me quite depressed Cos my name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a Scottish lake I've lived in here for hundreds of years so I don't see how I can be fake
Just cos I don't go parading around Like a giant horsefish ponce People seem to think I'm up myself And I get labelled a monster I was going to do Big Brother Depending on who else they got But when I saw the extras Christmas special I thought well maybe not
my name's mike i'm a big fish horse i live in a lot called ness my name's mike i'm a big fish horse i live in a lot called ness there you go i spoke for you joe actually left the room while i sat me to get some water because he couldn't look me in the eye i can't handle i'm being defeated by
I was jumping up and I was grooving around.
Now listen, I said before that it was a last minute thing, but man, I slaved over it, I'm telling you.
Did you?
Yeah.
I mean, as soon as I got back, I got back home at 5.30.
When did you finish?
And I thought, I was thinking to myself, I'm gonna toss this one off.
Yeah, but what about the song?
Nice.
And I was thinking, I'll be finished by 7.30 at the latest.
I can order myself a nice Indian takeaway and watch Munich.
Racist.
We were talking about Munich the other day and I said, I am going to watch Munich.
But then I wasn't finished until 11.30.
By which time I was knackered, I had to go straight to bed, hadn't had any subs.
And I was thinking, I don't know what I've just done.
Because I went down a few different avenues as well before I started.
Did you?
You had some rejects.
You know, one week we should do a re- because I've got a couple of rejects.
Have you?
Yeah.
One day we should have like a re- Just little clips.
That's a good idea.
We won't broadcast it, but just, you know, just play it to each other.
Because I really admire the, your, uh, commitment, your vocal commitment in your one while we're slapping each other on the back.
Look at my nipples.
I'm mad, I didn't want to mention them to you, I didn't want to embarrass you, but I certainly do, they're very perky today.
So anyway folks, you are invited to vote for which song you liked best.
Please email Adam and Joe, that's A-N-D not an ampersand, adamandjoe at, no adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk.
Yeah, and you can just send us Adam or Joe depending on which one you like.
And a reminder of course that Adam's, my one, was about the Loch Ness Monster.
Joe's song was about Bigfoot.
Somebody's texted in to say Bigfoot is disqualified, the snare is way out.
Well, Mr. Anonymous person, the snare and the drum both came off of Garage Band.
It's not where it was with Apple.
I even made a note here.
Your ears are way out.
Exactly.
I even made a note that it was syncopated.
It was rhythmically very complex.
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
And I was, you know, I was admiring that.
Plus the fact that you got the word cryptozoological in the lyrics there.
That was good, too.
I rhymed it with logical.
Nice.
Thanks.
Well, that's almost the end of our show, folks, but not quite yet.
But right now it's time for an exciting trail, is it?
I love trails.
Here's one.
I know him pretty well.
Did a little show together called The Office.
Really?
Yes.
You may have seen it.
Anyone expecting Steve Merchant, this is sort of the same but slightly less funny.
And probably, I'm betting, if I know Steve, some slightly older music.
Probably.
And some slightly groovier music, actually.
Martin Freeman in for Steve and Merchant.
It means we're playing records and talking nonsense.
There is he?
Tomorrow afternoon from three.
On six music.
What you got to offer?
Pick you out a soda.
I'll look at you forever.
Take you to the water.
It's like a casino.
You ain't born typical.
Find a piece of silver.
Put it as a diagram.
Go down to the Rio.
Put it in my left hand.
Put it in a fruit machine.
Everyone's a winner.
Laughing like a seagull.
You are fever.
You are fever.
You ain't born typical.
You are fever, you ain't born simple
I'm down to have you over.
Clean around the break up.
Take you to a jukebox.
That's the situation.
Take you out of number.
Last hour of range.
Dancing on the legs of a newborn pony.
Left, right, left, right.
Keep it up, son.
Go ahead and have her go.
I am a fever, I am a fever, I ain't born typical I am a fever, I am a fever, I ain't born typical We are a fever, we are a fever, we ain't born typical We are a fever, we are a fever, we ain't born typical
Hello caller.
Hello caller.
Your call is being recorded for training purposes.
For quality control.
For quality control.
Hey, can I say something quickly?
I just tell people what that was.
That was the kills with You Are A Fever.
Go ahead.
Podcast news.
In the next couple of weeks,
keep an eye on iTunes because in the next couple of weeks, probably not next week, probably the week after or thereabouts, we can't guarantee anything, our producer works very hard indeed and she's brilliant and she needs a bit of time to do a good job on the old chap and put the podcast in.
I love your double entendres.
Anyway so we should have them, basically the thrust is we should have a podcast up on iTunes each week within the next couple of weeks if you're interested.
Yeah.
And we still are working on the notion that we would do an additional podcast, which would be us, which would be all sort of unbroadcast stuff.
You know what I mean?
Slightly kind of more near the knuckle.
Can you get more near the knuckle than this show?
Yes.
Yes, you can quite easily.
And that's what we would be doing now.
It's almost the end of the show, but I just like to give you a few little, I just like to explode some scientific myths for you, Joe Cornish before we go.
Because I, you know, I love explosions and particularly if they're involved with scientific myths.
But a couple of these I hadn't heard before and I was glad to see them exploded.
Myth one.
Shaving makes your hair grow back faster.
exploded there's no truth to this warning true apparently the hairs are thicker at the base therefore giving it the illusion of a more fecund growth right they taper at the end you see exactly this the 14 times do this the whole time do they yeah this is in fact is that the week you're reading from uh yeah probably culled from the 14 times maybe
Well, this is apparently culled from the BMA, the British Medical Journal.
Two American scientists scoured medical literature for evidence to back up a number of widely held medical beliefs.
So this is just the conclusions of two American scientists, it should be said.
But still, it's nice to have some of these exploded.
I'm always worried about the shaving, making your hair grow back faster, because I am an hairy man.
And when I was younger, I did not like being her suit at all.
And I particularly hated... I don't like it now.
I hated the hair on my upper arms, right?
Like, I've got hair on my shoulders, not so much on the forearms, and I just thought that was grotesque.
You've got hair on your tongue.
I've got hair on my tongue, I've got hair on my eyeballs.
It's everywhere.
Yeah, hairy eyeballs.
Whereas I am like, um... You're like a little boy.
A naked lady.
A naked lady.
That's not true, I do have man hair.
Just enough to keep a woman happy.
Plus you've got a selection of... Unless I'm Conrad, I'm getting hot under the collar.
And the belt.
Very sexy show, very sexy.
Joe's also got a collection of beautiful merkins that were made for him at great expense.
So that's myth number one exploded.
Don't worry about shaving your hair because it's not going to make it any worse if you're worried about it.
Reading in poor light ruins your eyes.
Kaboom!
Kaboom!
And that is one that your parents always told you.
Apparently, according to the experts, it's not the case.
It says that yes, you might strain your eyes if the light is very low.
It's not going to do permanent damage.
But it won't do any permanent damage, no.
So don't worry about that one.
Here's another one.
Nails keep on growing after you're dead.
Kapow!
Not true.
Does it say about hair?
It doesn't say about hair, but it says that the myth came about because of the fact that dehydrating skin... That's right, the body shrinks.
Yeah, can retract around the cuticles.
It gives the appearance of increased nail length.
Also, it may have come from the novel All Quiet on the Western Front, Eric Maria Remarque's First World War novel, where the narrator notes that his dead friend's nails are growing in corkscrews.
What a load of twaddle.
I never thought that novel was any good, and now I know.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, and here's one more, the last one, which I'm comforted by, because I always hated this one.
We only use 10% of our brains.
Well, that's true for you.
That is true for me, isn't it?
Damn.
No, but apparently for everyone else it's not true.
Pretty much all your brain is being used all the time, so you really can't do without any part of it.
So all that stuff about there being vast areas of the brain that are locked away, unused, and we've got all these secret capabilities.
No, this is as good as we're gonna get!
There's a race, so make the most of it.
Is that it?
You tell us.
Do you have anything else to add?
Nope, just music.
Well, folks, that's it for the show this week, and I'm going to leave you with a choice of mine.
Hang on, wait, Adam, what are you saying to you, that we've got one more record, then we're going to come back?
No, it's fine.
We'll have to play TalkTalk and lose sound and play it next week.
OK, listen, thanks to everybody who texted and emailed this week.
Keep the emails coming in during the week.
If you're listening again, please vote for Song Wars.
It's going to be very close.
We'll see you next week.
Bye bye.
Change it