Where to begin?
We are North Americans And for those of you Who still think we're from England We're not, no We've been on planes and on trains Till we think we might die Far from North America Where the buildings are old And you might have lots of mimes
Oh, I don't know, I don't know Oh, where to begin When we're North American But in the end make the same mistakes all over again Come on, now, now, now
If you get someone to pay the rent, would you?
North America!
It's just the furthest you can live from the government.
Uh huh, uh huh.
Some fat American Christians might have disagreed here in North America.
But New York's the only place we're keeping them off the street.
Move, move now.
Where'd they go another night?
All right!
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
You see, I love this place.
Bill, I've grown to know.
That's LCD sound system with North American scum.
Hey, this is Saturn and Joe here on BBC six music here with you until midday 12 o'clock.
That's the central point of the day when absolutely everything changes and you get a chance to start again.
The pivot, the pivot of the day.
Yes.
That was quite exhausting for the first track, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Well, he's, he's got some issues with the North Americans.
He doesn't like himself and it was up tempo.
Oh, I think we're gonna have to calm it down a bit later.
We've got some mellow songs.
I picked out a couple of really pretty mellow things to play this week.
What about you?
Yeah, I'm very pleased with my free plays this morning.
We've got some Jim O'Rourke coming up, some Tribe Called Quest.
Yeah, some really good music.
Some Van Morrison, that's your one, Adam.
Some great session tracks.
We'll of course be resolving last week's Song Wars, which prompted the largest ever
voting response in the history of the entire Isle of Wight of the entire Isle of Wight yeah oh gosh uh no in the in the history of song wars yeah i think we've got more votes than ever before oh my lord that's not going to do me any favors though let me guess
Just to remind listeners that Song Wars is where Joe and myself write a song each week, usually with a theme suggested in part by the listeners, and we battle it out to see who wins.
I've lost every single week for the last seven weeks except once.
Yeah, your eponymous song for a listener.
So that wouldn't be eponymous, would it?
That one.
Yeah, yeah.
Song Wars has become an awful albatross around our necks.
No, it's good, man.
We've got a whole album's worth of great songs, and people love listening to those songs.
I started mine at 4.30 last night.
No way.
Finished at 9.30.
This morning?
No, last night.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
4.30, that's technically the afternoon, you're aware of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But still, I got home from a very busy day.
I had a very busy week.
All I wanted to do was watch telly.
We've all had a busy week.
But you have to fit your song wars in.
Wrinkles.
Anyway, we'll be hearing the fruits of Joe's Labour and mine as well.
Christmas songs was the theme this week.
So we'll be unveiling our Christmas songs and we'll be finding out who won last week's song wars, where we had to write an imaginary
Outro theme from a movie that never really had one.
Joe wrote one for The Shining, I wrote one for The Hours and we'll find out who won that within the next half hour.
But now I think it's time we played some more great music here at Six Music.
Hold tight, this is The White Stripes.
Conquest!
He was out to make a conquest Didn't care what arm was done Just as long as he won the prize Conquest!
She was just another conquest Didn't care whose heart was broke Love to him was a joke Till he looked into her eyes
And then in the strange way things happen Their roles were reversed from that day The hunted became the huntress The hunter became the prey
Conquest!
Now you know who made the conquest She with all her female guile Let him help us down the aisle She had finally made a conquest
And in the strange way things happen Their roles were reversed from that day The hunted became the huntress The hunter became the prey Conquered
We'll guide her in to help us down the aisle She has finally made a common quest
Con-curs!
I've got one I've put it on a string!
I baked it in the oven for 20 minutes!
And now I'm going to smash it against your con-car!
conkers that should be the official conker song conker song yeah there's many different words you could put there I was gonna make that my Christmas song were you I didn't in the end but I thought if I could find an instrumental of that I could I could do Christmas for the first verse yeah then for the second verse crackers that's good
That would have been good wouldn't it?
But of course you can't get instrumentals of white stripes because they don't, they sort of record them all live don't they?
They sing at the same time as they play.
That's true they probably do.
Yeah so you can't separate them like you can with other less real musicians.
They should do like automatically instrumental versions of songs.
Well a lot of them do weirdly don't they?
When we worked at the other radio station, we used to get CDs.
Oh no, it's for, what is it?
No, if you work in an advertising company, if you make commercials, you get instrumentals for commercials, don't you?
I don't know, but they tend to send out instrumental versions of big albums every now and then.
It's a useful thing to do because for an artist, A, it's good because you're filling up a bit of space on the single.
For a actress it's good because you fill up a bit of space in the song.
The space in the song, that's it.
And also... Yes, yes, I agree.
I agree.
And it's nice because you can put it on the album.
You can put it on the album.
Place it on the album.
No, that's you.
That's you?
But not me.
that means naughty little man in Swiss you'll be excited to hear that we will be talking about other things other than song wars in the show today of course folks so don't worry if you're not a big song wars fan it's all going to be resolved in the next link we'll figure out who won last week's one and then we won't even mention it again no no no no until about half an hour later until when we do the new one also we've got
text the nation the nation's favorite feature yeah yeah coming up in the show that's exciting and here comes a choice of mine Joe Cornish I like saying my own name yeah it's good you like saying my own name Joe Cornish anyway this is this is one I've been sort of mooting to play for weeks and weeks and weeks it's actually one that you
introduced me to Adam on one of the compilations many years ago and it's a lovely song perfect for this time in the morning this is Jim O'Rourke with Go Ship In A Storm
Nothing makes me want to disappear Is when someone opens their mouth It's just my luck I get hit by
It only figures That I brought my body Into it so mad And as I'm sinking
Did I pay my rent?
I ride through like a gold ship in a storm.
so
BBC 6 music Christmas 07 on 6
this year with a Susie Sue special.
Join me with Nemone as I take over six music for an hour.
A tribute to the life of Tony Wilson.
We wanted our group, the Dorothea Column, to play in a club.
There was no clubs we liked, so we started a club and called it The Factory.
Basically, we just did what at that moment seemed the thing to do.
And we celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour.
Stuart McConie celebrates 40 years since the first broadcast.
Remembering the music, the stars, and delving into the BBC Music Archive.
Christmas 07 on 6.
BBC 6 Music.
Do I love you?
Do I lust for you?
Am I a sinner because I'll do the two?
Can you let me know?
Right now, please.
But neither after one.
Need help
Ain't no need to question the authority Chairman of the board, the chief of affections You got minds to sway your direction Hey, you're like a hip hop song, you know If you need an apple bum, you gotta put me on
I like to tell you things some brothers don't If only you could see through your elaborate eyes Only you and me, hun, the love never dies Satisfaction, I have the right tactics And if you need them, I got crazy prophylactics
You gotta put me on
Go on, do some rapping.
MC Joe.
Hello, hello, hello.
My name is Joe.
I would like to go to a good show, like Billy Elliot or the Lion King.
But I cannot, because I cannot afford to get in.
That's good, man.
I love that rap.
Yeah.
It's very simple.
It's from the early days of rap.
Is it?
Proto rap?
Yeah, it was one of the first raps.
That's why it's so very basic.
Yeah, Neolithic rap.
Yeah.
Hey, listen to this jingle.
It's time for songs Wars, the war of the songs, a capitalist
We've got Ben here.
He's not our regular producer, but we're very happy to have him here.
I think Jude is a bit ill today, our regular producer.
I hope you're getting better, Jude, if you're listening.
We miss you.
She's not listening.
She might be.
You never know.
I mean, if I was her, I wouldn't be.
Jude, if you're listening, text 64046 if you're not.
Then you might go down in our estimation, like a tiny bit of a millimeter.
I should go up in mind, man.
If I was ill, I'd be lying in.
I would be way asleep.
She should take her job really seriously.
She should listen to every word.
She should be making notes.
That's true.
Ben's nodding.
You see, Ben will be listening.
I will be, yes.
Ben's listening now.
Ben, I was going to say that sometimes our Song Wars songs tend to be a little quiet, so you've really got to crank up the volume, because I hate the idea that we put all this work into them and then they just dribble out of their speakers.
Crank up the volume, crank up the volume.
But now it's time to find out which one of our songs are exit music for films that never were.
has won Song Wars and passing me the results sheet.
Before we go to the results, let's have a look at some of the emails that we've got in in our very big post bag that we've had this week and we really have had more texts, not text emails than ever before.
Giles Pocklington.
He's emailed him before.
It's just the same four people who've emailed him many times.
Dear Adam and Joe, what a thrill it was to hear Joe pick my suggestion for The Shining on a dull Monday afternoon.
Giles suggested that I did the closing credits music for The Shining and now he's emailing to thank me.
A very good effort too, apart from the nonsensical last few lines which, if were to be honest, were utter tosh.
I have to say, Adam's The Hours song was really good, no really.
A vote for Buxton.
So I select his song and he doesn't even vote for it.
He was stroking you for a little while with one hand then he reached around and slapped you with the other one.
It's bad parenting.
Greetings loves, says Lucy Loftus.
I wholeheartedly vote for Adam this week.
It's foot tapingly funky and clearly a better song.
Joe however is clearly feeling so smug about his hearty lead that he thinks he can farm out ballad based rubbish and still win.
His song was so awful it prompted my husband to stomp into the room and shout, what muck have you bought now?
Joe, hang your head.
Hang your head?
That's a bit harsh.
People are so cruel.
Listen, I can't help feeling happy about the sentiment, but that's a bit much.
Wait, get this, though.
Martin Workman, he works for MCM productions.
There are video events and broadcast graphics production.
He writes, subject song wars, both a bit rubbish, well below par in the comedy stakes.
You guys just recounted what happened in the films rather than giving a subjective comedy take on them, a la I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
It was like a film review with no opinions.
Nice.
Well, and that's in the comedy sticks.
That's not even within our own parameters.
Is that ironic in any way?
No, he's just opinionated and furious.
He's absolutely furious about it.
Quite right.
What's his name again?
His name is Mr. Workman.
Martin Workman.
Martin the Workman.
quite right Martin keep those standards maintained yeah that's that's pretty much it you know but it's harsh Martin because when you consider like we're not saying where a musical genius is but we certainly put a lot of effort into these some more than others depending on the week you know what I mean like sometimes you just run out yeah hey look we've had it we've had a text huh
We've had one text.
You can text us on 64046.
That'll be more relevant when we ask you to vote for Song Wars.
But that'll be the new Song Wars.
This is the old Song Wars.
So let's check the results.
Ready?
Yeah, let's find out who won.
So it was Adam's song about the hours.
The film directed by Billy Elliot.
Man, what's his name?
Stephen Dolch.
There you go.
All about Virginia Woolf.
Yeah.
Based on, was it based on Mrs. Dalloway?
Mrs. Dalloway was the... And it was a very good song.
I would have voted for your song.
Would you?
Yeah, I would.
Or it was my song about The Shining and...
oh my gosh what is it you've won again haven't you oh my god do you really think i've won yeah no you've won by 86 percent to 14 for joe it's a landslide my surprise to me it's a very good song this week uh so let's uh have another listen to adam's song you've got to imagine what's the final shot of the hours then now you're asking it's probably virginia wolf going for the swim in the river
It may well be to tie the whole thing up, that's how it starts.
Yeah, probably it's probably bookended.
I would think so.
You know, so imagine that happening, Virginia's plastic nose goes under the water and then the credits roll and you hear this.
Dearest, I feel certain that I'm going mad again.
Mrs. Dalloway It is about a woman's day making party plans A housewife in the fifties is reading Mrs. Dalloway A woman in the noughties is making party plans Three women with unwelcome obligations to the men In the lives that they feel they never chose
All of them depressed and wishing they could just escape Like Virginia Woolf with her wonky plastic nose I choose not the suffocating and aesthetic of the suburbs, but the violent jolt of the Capitol.
That is my choice.
It was done for your president!
It was done out of love!
It was a tragedy that Virginia Will felt she had to drown herself Just because she was depressed and she was bisexual In those days both those subjects were not well understood Nowadays there's lithium and lots of bendy friends, yes!
How will you fill up the hours of your lady life?
Will you serve pathetic men?
Will you be a wife?
Will you just read Glazier and bake your stupid cakes?
Does that really make you happy?
I think you deserve a lovely party!
There we go, powerful stuff.
The winner of Song Wars this week, Adam's song from the hours.
Yes, skills.
Well done, man.
That's very good.
I would have voted for that.
I think that's a well-deserved win.
That's very magnanimous of you.
Yeah, I don't mean it.
I'm angry.
Here's this.
Are we playing the stringers now?
We're going to have some real music now.
This is from a real man who's made a whole career out of making music, and it's one of his best songs.
Here's Lou Reed.
Satellite's gone up to the skies.
Things like that drive me out of my mind I watched it for a little while I like to watch things on TV Satellite of love Satellite of love
Satellite all off, satellite all.
Satellite's gone way up to Mars.
Soon it'll be filled with parking cars.
I watched it for a little while I love to watch things on TV Satellite of love Satellite of love Satellite of love Satellite of love
I've been told that you've been bold With Harry, Mark and John Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday through Thursday With Harry, Mark and John Satellite's gone up to the skies Things like that drive me out of my mind
I watched it for a little while I love to watch things on TV Satellite of love Satellite of love Satellite of love Satellite of
Satellite.
That was George Michael with Faith.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC 6 Music.
It wasn't George Michael with Faith, it was Lou Reed.
Here's Erica Fisher with the news.
On digital radio and online, BBC 6 Music.
Relief at climate talks in Bali, banks come in for criticism and haulier stage fuel demos.
6 Music.
BBC News at 9.30, I'm Erica Fisher.
After hours of wrangling, a climate change deal has been agreed in Bali.
Overnight, there were dramatic scenes at the talks.
The head of the UN climate unit broke down in tears, and the Americans were booed after refusing for hours to agree on what should go into the treaty.
But the Environment Secretary, Hilary Benn, doesn't think the delay was their fault.
People were saying that the Americans were trying to stymie a deal.
That wasn't the case in the end.
The Americans agreed.
I think everybody showed flexibility.
Look, the truth is, in a negotiation, does everybody get everything that they want?
No, we don't.
Banks are being criticised this morning.
They're accused of trying to get customers in debt to take out expensive loans.
The charity Citizens Advice says it's hearing that aggressive tactics are being used.
Frances Walker is from the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.
Because of unforeseen circumstances, people get into debt not necessarily for their own fault and you can't get blood out of a stone and the best thing is to go to a third party who has no axe to grind and will broker a deal between all the creditors.
In other 6music news, the UK's biggest fuel demo for more than two years is being staged at oil refineries across Britain today.
Halliers, farmers and drivers are protesting about the recent rises in fuel prices that say there won't be any blockades.
A 22-year-old woman's been questioned about a house fire which killed two people, including a toddler.
15-month-old Cara Moran and 27-year-old Gavin Batonsby died in hospital yesterday after the blaze in Leeds.
And Britain could launch its first mission to the moon within five years.
NASA looks likely to back the plan Project Moonlight to send an unmanned probe into space.
The weather a grey and misty day for many of us, northern and western Scotland could be a bit brighter but feeling cold everywhere.
That's 6Music News, your next bulletins at 10.30.
musical pioneer Ike Turner.
As Blockparty round off an amazing 2007, we hook up with the boys backstage at their last gig of the year.
And in this week's agenda, isn't it time we all admitted it?
X Factor's good for the music biz.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett.
Tomorrow from one.
On BBC Six Music.
Adam and Joe.
On Six Music.
I found you I turned you into an outcome
that's the charlatans with love is the key so you know if love is the key what's the door
That's too rude at this time of the morning, Adam.
Okay.
Got you.
You get me?
I think I do get you.
Yeah.
Now listen, I'm just flicking through.
This is Adam and Joe incident.
We just got an email from someone saying, who are you?
It was a text.
It was a text.
Just furious.
Who are you?
He probably switched on and he was embroiled in lots of song wars stuff and just thought, I don't know who these people are, but they're very involved in their own strange business and it makes me very angry.
So he thought he'd texted and
Let us know.
So listen, we're Adam and Joe.
We're just two human beings.
We're from the 90s.
We're from the 90s.
We were on television once a very long time ago.
And here we are.
I've just been flicking through the We Love Telly magazine from
Which magazine is this?
Oh, the Daily Mirror.
And it's got all the Christmas telly stuff in it.
Wicked.
Wicked.
There's a lot of good, well, there's a lot of telly coming up on the Christmas and things like extras or the extras Christmas special on Thursday, the 29th, 27th of December.
Be interested in that.
That's the last one ever.
They'll never make another one.
No more extras.
And what else have we got?
What's the point?
What is the point?
The point is all this great Christmas telly that we're going to be seeing.
But no, one of the things I'm very excited about is Noel's Christmas presents.
Now, you were saying there's some trail on for it?
Yeah, if you own an evil Murdoch box and get Murdoch telly,
Then watch out for Noel Edmonds his new Trail he's obviously had a massive Renaissance no with deal or no deal and Sky have paid him a lot of money to host Are you smarter than a ten-year-old and he's kind of had a renaissance hence the return of his Christmas Day show Well, he's very he's quintessentially Christmassy in many ways.
I mean his name is Noel for a shot He looks a tiny bit like Jesus true.
He's got magical powers for magical powers.
He rose again from the dead and
That's true.
And you can probably turn water into some kind of can fizzy fizzy pop.
Yeah.
But when if you were like a kiddie in the 80s and stuff, he had a show every Christmas Day, wasn't it?
And didn't it come from the top of the post office tower?
What was then known as the post office tower?
Yeah.
Before the post office was what?
No, before it was sold to BT or whatever.
Right.
and he would get all sorts of disadvantaged people and give them amazing presents.
Well this show's been bought back for Sky I think over Christmas and he's done the most demented trail in I think in the history of trails for it.
Do watch out for it.
Now he's obviously he does genuinely have magic powers because the thing about deal or no deal is it's all to do with luck.
isn't it and it's all to do with you know calling on higher forces he's got this weird mystical kind of weird quasi religion that he's written a book hasn't he about cosmic ordering it's called that's right if you want something from life you just ask the sky I'd like a BMW
Yeah.
Give me a BMW and according to Noel you'll just get one.
Something like that.
I might be overly simplifying it.
I might not.
Right.
It's something like that.
So he's kind of turning into a sort of TV David Icke type person, vaguely.
Anyway in his trail I couldn't really take it all in the other night when I saw it but there are some people having a party and someone's given a massive present and they open it and Noel comes out.
and they look astonished.
Is he wearing clothes?
Yeah, as far as I could see he's wearing clothes.
Then there was another quick shot of Noel dressed as a nun approaching some women and smiling in a really creepy way.
And then the final sucker punch was Noel, you know, in that way he was standing in a studio and he was standing three quarters onto the camera.
Do you know that way people stand?
It's the way that page three girls stand.
Yeah, that you never do in life.
Yes.
But you do, I don't know, when you're trying to look authoritative, news readers sometimes do it.
People, it's basically the trail stance.
It's a flattering pose.
Three quarters on and turn to the camera like that.
Yeah.
And he does that and he says, I believe in the power of Christmas.
Oh my lord.
So he doesn't believe in Christmas.
Yeah.
He hates Christmas, but he believes in the power of Christmas.
Right.
But he says it as if he's ushering in at some kind of new religious dawn.
Do you know what I mean?
Well, he's doing some amazing stuff in this show.
It was apparently recently voted one of the top 10 Christmas shows of all time.
Personally, when it used to come on, it would be the only bad bit about Christmas for me.
I used to enjoy it.
Did you?
Yeah.
I like to see people in the forces giving messages to their loved ones.
Well, he's got a little bit of that.
He says, Noel takes a group of mums, dads and kids who have lost loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan on a magical trip to Lapland, because that's what they need.
That's good.
I think that's in the trail.
Right, right.
So they're off to Lapland.
But and what else we got?
It's all heartwarming stuff.
A nine year old.
So the sort of logic is, well, there's always Santa.
Yeah, exactly.
Don't worry.
Because of various facts about Santa.
I just think how much fun could it be for the families involved?
You know what I mean?
Like making TV is not an enjoyable process generally.
And when they when they go off there with a crew and they have to do all their little retakes or whatever and traveling and the Knoll and
I tell you what we'll have to watch it yes that's true and talk about it in the new year well you can watch it on Sunday the 23rd of December on Sky 1 at 6 p.m.
that's Noel's Christmas presents but right now here's some more music this is balloons is it balloons with folds or folds with balloons no it's folds with balloons
That's foals with balloons.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
We're with you until midday today.
And it's time now to launch the nation's favourite feature.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
Yes, text the nation the time of the show where we, and pay attention to this because it's complicated, ask you to text us... About things.
Things.
This week's subject is... Stupid, stupid, stupid lies you've told.
Stupidest lie you've ever told, with possibly the worst consequences.
Like, the worse the consequences, the more... Yeah, nothing awful.
No, we don't want to hear about death or... Well, you can send them in, but we're unlikely to read them out.
Yeah, or if it ends up with like, you know, I was divorced and I was never happy again.
That'll be fine.
My children love me.
Really?
Yeah.
That's no good.
No, it wouldn't be fine.
Not Christmassy.
Not very Christmassy, that's true.
Send them to Noel.
Noel will do a show.
He'll do a little slot on his show for them, but we don't really deal with anything like that.
Last week, was it last week?
I think it was last week.
I was telling Adam and you listeners how once I told a girl that I had a bad heart in order to get her to snog me.
I told her I had a terrible, and this is tempting fate in a very, you know, silly way.
That's right.
I told her I had a kind of a dodgy valve.
And that I wasn't long for this world and she'd better get in there, quickos.
If she wanted a piece of the corns.
And it worked!
A nugget of corn.
She got a little corn on the cob.
She did!
She had a nibble.
I had a nibble.
Mmm, butter all around my mouth.
Okay.
What?
Nothing.
So it worked.
It did work, but I do regret it.
That was a terrible, terrible, terrible, stupid, horrible thing to do.
You know, if the consequences were really dire, you could string that out to a whole film and call it The Boy with the Bad Heart, because it would be like... It would work on two levels, wouldn't it?
Like a two-leveled car park.
Exactly, or a bungalow with an extra level on top of the bungalow.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so here are some emails we've had in over the week.
Hi Adam and Joe.
This is from Damien Radcliffe.
I lied in primary school in an assembly held by a priest man.
He asked us all, who's been to Palestine?
I put up my hand with absolutely nothing to say.
I have no idea why.
Compulsion?
Just wanted to be the centre of attention.
I've been to Palestine, that's a good one.
Have you been to Palestine?
No!
Why did you put your hand up?
I don't know!
I like that kind of thing.
I bet, Damien, I bet you're quite clever.
I mean that's the kind of thing a clever person does.
I bet you could have bluffed it, man.
Anne-Marie Adair has sent in an email saying I faked my discus scores in third year senior school PE lessons because I was embarrassed at how bad the real scores were but I faked them too well and got chosen to throw discus at the school sports day due to my seemingly amazing abilities.
I was obviously dismal at it but it taught me a lesson in a wonder years kind of way.
Yeah.
That's good.
That is good.
and presumably I wonder if she then lied about being bad discus on the day.
Do you think she... You know what she should have said?
What?
She said I've got a half condition.
I've got a touchy valve and my arm's gone limp.
That's what I would have said.
But the whole business of cheating in exams, that's a kind of different kettle of fish because I, I mean the big British castle would not recommend this kind of behaviour but I
cheated like a man possessed.
Well, you were in prison for about 15 years.
I wasn't.
I got away with it for the cheating.
You got free.
And I'm trying to imply to listeners that it doesn't pay to cheat.
It doesn't pay to cheat.
That's right.
I've been in a kind of a mental prison of guilt.
Yes, that's true.
That's true.
I did a little bit of cheating as well for which I served time and was badly tortured.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In a Spanish exam, I went and hid a Spanish dictionary behind the U-bend of the Lavi.
Did you?
And then asked to go to the lab.
That's a different kettle of fish though cheating really isn't it?
We're not after cheating we're after lying.
Yeah exactly.
Hannah Ariff says dear Adam and Joe when I was about six our teacher at school asked us one day if we'd ever seen Santa Claus.
I was completely amazed when people said they had.
How jealous I was when I found out people had seen him on Christmas Eve putting out their presents.
My favourite story was the elaborate tale of Robert Rawlinson who proceeded to tell us how he woke up on Christmas Eve to see Santa's boots on the landing.
He then heard that someone was taking a shower so he went to investigate and what did he find?
Why Santa of course!
Taking a shower in his house.
I was amazed, flabbergasted and to be honest, very jealous.
Although at the time I remember thinking that his mum was probably having an affair with Santa.
But I didn't tell Robert this in case I burst his bubble.
There's a song about that.
I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus.
That's true.
And it's a sort of faintly disturbing song because you think that would scar you.
You know, even however much you like Santa, you don't want to see him snog your mum because that's revolting.
I mean, that's horrible, isn't it?
Why not?
Santa's a sexy man.
Yeah, but it casts aspersions on your mum.
It turns your mum into a kind of... No, what mum could resist Santa?
Honestly, that big belly, the bushy beard, all the presents, you know, the idea of living with lots of elves.
Can you imagine?
He's probably got bits all over his beard.
He probably stinks.
It'd be like going out with Mr. Majorium and living in his wonder emporium.
I want to talk to you about that later on.
Here's another one from Clash77.
No sorry, it's from Rob in Birmingham.
That was his tag.
He's a member of one of the biggest gangs in Birmingham.
He's a very dangerous man, Rob.
He's not.
Hi Adam and Joe, you asked for the stupidest lies you've ever told so here's mine.
As a child one evening whilst playing outside I thought it would be really clever if I span around and round as fast as I could to impress my friends.
He spanned.
That's not a lie.
Unfortunately, I lost my balance and banged my head, cutting it and making myself cry in the process.
What will I tell people?
I cried as I noticed the nasty cut.
Don't worry, said a friend.
I've got a plan.
And he came up with an excellent cover story, which involved me being set upon by a group of lads from a rival, tougher school and me coming out on top with only this gash on my head to show.
It's all right.
We'll back your story up.
They reliably told me he is a member of a gang.
The next day, when I went to school, word had got out and crowds gathered round me in the playground to see if it was true.
Harder lads patted me on the back.
Girls touched the cut on my head and they even started chanting, Rocky, Rocky in my honour.
Already I was beginning to feel the pressure as the lie built up inside of me and my story became less convincing by each question I was asked.
By dinner time, I could sense my friends had grown jealous of my celebrity and were going to spill the beans.
By afternoon break, they'd done this and in the short space of seven hours, I'd gone from hero to zero.
I walk home from school alone and can remember the cutting comments such as, look, it's Frank Bruno and ear lads.
Can you smell B.S.?
To this day, I've never told a lie since.
Hey, good one.
I'm not sure that's true.
Thanks very much for those emails and texts.
Please keep them coming in on the subject of the stupidest lie you've ever told.
Yeah, those were just teasers.
To get your stories coming in text 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Now, very shortly, we're going to be unveiling our new Song Wars efforts for this week.
But before that, I think we should have quite a lot of exciting music and maybe a wonderful trail.
Are we having a wonderful trail now, Ben?
Not another one.
Hey, what's wrong with... This show's becoming a trailer park.
Because it's so popular, everyone wants to put their trail in.
Is that so?
No.
Okay, thanks.
Here it is.
Six music.
We've got my parents here.
How about that?
You can see the glamour that we have at Six Music.
Is it everything you could have dreamed of for your son?
It's more attractive and beautiful than the Queen Mary, actually.
Really?
Yes.
More than once, yes.
It's absolutely marvelous.
Within seconds of being on the radio, you've mentioned the fact that you can afford to go on the Queen Mary.
We'll get your opinion on other, perhaps the new music.
No, you're a big fan of the new music, Dad.
You're endlessly seeking out.
Is it true that when you listen to the show at home, you fade down during the records?
LAUGHTER
you
I think it's time to cook a meal to fill the emptiness I feel Spend my money going outside Nothing in I'm left without
New to wear and start the night life Over again and kid myself I'm having fun
Mother things are getting better Watch the mirror, count the lines Battle scars of all the good times Look around and I can see a thousand people
you
That's Soft Cell with Bedsitter.
That's a session track recorded for the Richard Skinner Show on Radio One on the 26th of July 1981.
The Skin Meister.
That was a good version of Bedsitter Land.
Yeah, this is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
Happy Saturday morning.
We're coming to the end of the first hour of our three hour show.
We're here with you until 12.
All sorts of stuff going on.
We've got a new Song Wars coming up.
We're in the midst of Text the Nation.
We've got very exciting things to talk about.
This has got to be one of the busiest shopping weekends in the world, isn't it?
probably in the year is yeah probably people doing all that shopping and probably no one listening also films like Christmas films just suddenly pop out without you noticing have you ever noticed that suddenly you know they'll just spring something on you I mean there's Jack claws Fred claws Fred claws yeah they released that too early yeah and it was supposed to be a bit of a stinker that was around for a while stinking up the area
There's enchanted which has come out.
They've got enchanted lights in Oxford Street sponsored lights.
Yeah, which is no good man That is totally on board to put them up unless they have a sponsor.
Is that the case?
I think so.
It's a shame Yeah, it's supposed to be alright though that film.
No, I don't believe no, it's supposed to be alright It's done very well in the States.
It's done very well.
Well, I mean it just seems such a tired idea You like your film?
Well done
I was just thinking about us delicious.
Mmm.
No, I'd like it a little bit rare But the most gaudy and frightful looking Christmas film that's popped out is has got to be mr. Majorium's wonder emporiums Which is directed by the guy that wrote a Will Ferrell film called stranger than fiction Oh, yeah, which was a very big noise.
The the screenwriter was fated as a brilliant new talent and
Did you see Stranger than a Fiction?
I did see it, yes.
Partly because Brit Daniel from Spoon, one of my favourite bands, provided a lot of the music.
Is that true?
Yeah.
What did you think of it?
Well, I loved the music.
I didn't hate the film but it was on the verge of being very irritating.
Mr Majorium's Wonder Emporium has got the most gaudy poster I've ever seen.
Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?
It's like it's a little it reminds me that it's the same color scheme as vomit as vomit and the Tim Allen Tim Allen's vomit picture.
What's the one that he was in Santa Claus?
Is it the Santa Claus in my mind?
I've got I've got someone dressed as Santa strung up in a string of lights.
Yeah, sure, that's National Lampoon Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
But no, there's no Santa in Mr. Majorium's Wonder Emporium, I don't think, but it is a terrible title, isn't it?
It's got Dustin Hoffman.
It might be brilliant, and Natalie Portable, man.
Yeah.
And it's a terrible title, Mr. Majorium's Wonder Emporium.
Which certainly sounds as if he thought of the emporium before the majorium.
Yeah, we were thinking you could have Mrs. Gleesop's Tea Shops.
You know, it's not difficult, is it?
I like that.
Roper Rollers can of coca-cola.
Mmm.
Mmm.
I like Ned pops cake shops Is there um, is there someone called mr. Majorium is there is there has there ever been anyone called mr. Majorium I don't think so.
I mean there's a spice called marjoram isn't there doesn't bode well does it for the general writing level?
Oh
no no but anyway if you've seen that film do do tell us whether it's any good what could it be about though it's about a magic toy shop uh run by mr majoriam he's a very old kind of willy wonka type person who runs the toy shop and the toy shop decides to close it goes out of business but the toys come to life in order to keep it open wow a little bit like a night at the museum uh yeah i guess so
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it might be amazing.
I'd love to find out.
Yeah.
Now listen, we're going to play a bit more music right now.
And then we are going to unveil our new Christmas song wars songs for you listeners.
So that'll be exciting.
Won't it?
Here's the Decemberist before we do though.
You belong to the gang And you say you can't break away But I'm here with my hands on my heart And our families can agree I'm your brother's sworn enemy But he shouts out my love to the stars
On you
First we laid eyes I swore to no compromise Till it found my caress on your skin But how soon we were betrayed Your sister gave us away And your father came all unhinged
So wait for the star on your window
I'll burn this whole city down All I heard was a shout of your brother calling
Like a fool to my son Well the shine hit it hard And your frame went limp in my arms And in oath of love was your dying cry So awake
The Decemberists with Oh Valencia.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 music.
It's time for... It's time for songs.
Yes, it's time to launch this week's Song Wars.
We apologise if you feel that this feature is kind of spreading across the show like an ugly audio rash.
There's nothing we can do.
It's out of control.
It's like a giant moose.
Well, this is going to be the last Song Wars for a few weeks.
It's taking a Christmas break and it will be back in the new year refreshed, revitalized and a little bit fatter.
So this week's theme is Christmas songs.
Of course, Christmas is a time when everybody and their uncle tries to cash in on the Christmas single buying frenzy that doesn't really exist.
And we've never done a Christmas song before.
That seems amazing to me that two such jaded cynical tools as us would have passed up the opportunity to do a Christmas single.
However, Garage Band isn't very rich on Christmas sounds, is it?
There's no sleigh bells.
No.
So what direction have you gone?
I've gone in a kind of a... I don't really know.
An odd direction.
A panicked and desperate 4.30pm yesterday kind of a direction.
I've gone on a little kind of narrative.
You tell me.
Okay.
Well listen, I went first last week.
Do you want to go first?
No, I went second last week.
You went second, yeah.
So I don't mind going first.
Would you prefer?
sure go first do it i went in a sort of uh hey sorry can i just explain to listeners who might be new to the show we're going to play you two songs one of them's uh uh written by adam and recorded by adam one of them's written and recorded by me we just do them at home on our on our computers on garrott band
and we'd like you to text to vote for the one you think is the best.
You can text 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
It's a bit like X Factor only it doesn't really cost you anything to text in.
And the music's a lot better.
We don't know really but certainly nobody's getting fat off the profits.
and so yeah that's it and you could just text Adam or Joe just the word Adam or Joe or if you want to text some logic or or some passionate thoughts about the songs then we love that as well so here's my Christmas song this is a kind of country Christmas song in fact it's called Christmas Country Party Time and at first I went in quite a sincere direction with it and then I listened back to it all and I just thought I can't that's no good so and I just went demented instead see what you think
Well it's Christmas in the country and I'm turning off the gas I'm putting stickers on my face and painting on my legs We're gonna have a party and I am so excited There's gonna be some parsley and everyone's invited Those people in the city have forgotten what Christmas means But out here in the countryside we know what Christmas means
Christmas Christmas Christmas Party Time Christmas Christmas Christmas Time Germany Party Time Christmas Christmas Country Christmas Christmas Christmas Bills Party Party Christmas Time Christmas Country Time Christmas Christmas Christmas Time Sir Peter Christmas Time
So come on, grab your favorite lightbulb!
And a tape of G to G!
Buy yourself a dirty skirt and find your way to me!
Oh yeah, we're gonna rock this party the way that Jesus might!
You're not allowed to take no drugs and you're not allowed to fight!
But we can still have lots of fun watching Christmas DVDs like Flash and Transformers and Minority Report!
Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas
There you go.
That's Adams version of the Adams Christmas song and it's called Christmas Country Party Time.
There you go.
Now, Joe.
What are you doing?
Why are you not speaking?
I'm speechless.
I thought I'd gloss over it and move on.
I feel like I've just been mugged, sexually assaulted.
But in a fun way.
Parsley, painted legs, stickers on face, germoline, bills, Gina G, light bulbs, Sigourney Weaver, Richard Gere and a Rubik's cube.
It's all the modern Christmas experience.
I suppose there is that, I mean, wow.
But that did have a certain something in the, you know, Christmases sort of
meaningless in a way if you're not particularly religious and it just turns into a sort of festival of random pop-cultural nonsense.
That's the subtext.
So that was unifying some of those things but...germaline?
Germaline just you know because... What does germanine do?
It's an antiseptic if you cut yourself putting up the tree if you get needles in under your nails right you might want to pop a bit of germanine on there.
Do you think we should have some proper music and then hear mine?
Maybe that's an idea, yeah.
Maybe.
We could sort of separate them out.
I just think the air needs to be cleared.
I think we need to call pest control.
Get the studio fume-mumigated.
It's toe-tapping though, come on.
It's good man, I really like that.
There were some hoes that were down.
yeah yeah yeah okay then now this is it we're gonna mellow things out a little bit right now this is my what my ones coming up though listeners yeah yeah yeah after this we're gonna hear Joe's Christmas song but this is from one of my favorite Van Morrison albums and it's what I'm called oh it's called Veden Fleece one of his lesser-known ones but I read once somewhere that it's Sinead O'Connor's favorite Van Morrison album that's just a little Sinead O'Connor fact for you but I hope you enjoy it's really lovely tune it's called Fair Play
Fair play to you.
Launded lakes are so blue.
And the architecture I'm taking in with my mind.
So fine.
Help me uphold.
Let your midnight and your daytime words Turn into low light It's a very fine line But you've got the mind, child, to carry on
Well, that's just about to be carried on And there's only one metal's way to go And you say that you're on a move
A mellow way to go when you say you're on the move A paperback book as you walk down the street From that man with tales of mystery, mystery
We can be dreamers in this dream Let it rain And there's only one metal way to go Can't you see the rainbow?
Our light and legs are so blue I hold someone tit for tat And I love you for that I hold someone tit for tat And I love you for that
Love you for that, love you for that I hope so, baby Shut for tell, shut for tell Don't you fall back I hope so, baby, shut for tell
That's Van Morrison with Fair Play.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
That's lovely, isn't it?
He sings their tit for tat.
That's not a fair deal, is it?
I mean, unless it's a low quality tit.
Yeah, yeah.
Just a bit of tat.
You shouldn't get into tit for tat.
That's no good.
No, no, no.
Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, etc.
Well, it's the world's oldest profession, exchanging some tat for a tit.
For a little bit of tit.
Yeah.
It's nice.
Nice.
okay it's time for my um Ben is that all right we haven't crossed the line by saying no we're talking about birds blue tits um it's time for my song wars song we had to play a proper song there just to clear the air it's a new kind of um tactic i'm not saying that your song was in any way bad yes you are i'm not at all you said it was stinky and it's stinker and stank up the place i didn't say that it's just it was strong like cheese a really strong delicious cheese you're gonna have to hear it again before the end of it oh really
Ha!
Well, I don't know if mine's going to improve the situation.
My one is called All Night Garage, and it's about kind of, you know, someone who hasn't really focused on their Christmas duties until the last minute.
And you know, last week Adam produced a superb song about the hours.
I was intimidated by his use of samples.
So I decided to try and raise my game, and I've put some sound effects in here.
So it's a bit of a narrative, but don't get worried.
It's not very long.
So this is Joe Song, Joe Song for Song Wars.
It's called All Night Garage.
Here it is.
What?
Oh no!
It's nine o'clock on Christmas Eve and I ain't bought no presents yet.
What am I gonna do?
I'll have to go down the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
Hello there mate.
Hello.
How are you doing?
I've got to buy some stuff and my Christmas will be ruined.
We've got dirty legs.
Is that a DVD of Fist of Fury?
Or is it double-dissette with runaway jewellery?
Or silent rage in Delta Force 2 in an action back?
That'll have to do, I'm not quite sure if my Auntie Doris appreciates the oeuvre of Chuck Norris But I've left it late and it's beginning to rain And on Christmas Day she can't complain All night garage, all night garage Christmas shopping at the all night garage All night garage, all night garage
All night garage, all night garage Christmas shopping at the all night garage All night garage, all night garage Christmas shopping at the all night garage Listen mate, I've got to go, I've got everything on my, my stroke Yeah, sorry guv, the machine's gone down But there's a gas machine if you drive into town At times like this I can't help but feel I wish Santa Claus was really real I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
Perhaps he'd give his dad an old bottle of booze from the cupboard Forget the windscreen wipers man
all night garage Christmas shopping at the all night garage all night garage all night garage Christmas shopping at the all night garage Joe what's this you got me?
Delta Force 2 and a cigarette lighter oh thank you you shouldn't have
Oh, that's your old mum there at the end.
That's my Auntie Doris, who just happens to rhyme with Chuck Norris.
There we go.
So that's my song this week.
That's called All Night Garage.
Do send your votes, text your votes to 64046 or email them to adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk and the winner will be unveiled, as far as I know, I think on our sort of pre-New Year's Eve Saturday show.
It's all getting a bit complicated.
It's getting complicated because of Christmas and it messes all the schedules up.
It messes it all up.
We have to pre-record a couple of shows over the Christmas period so our minds are scrambled as to the exact chronology.
I don't think anyone's that worried.
No.
Are we going with Jay-Z next?
Yeah this is a song we seem to be playing regularly on the show and it's no bad thing because it's really good.
It's got a brilliant sample by some kind of marching band.
Somebody sent us in the name of the band the other week.
Thank you for that, whoever that was.
Yeah this is Jay-Z with Rockboys.
And the winner's home, my man.
Speech.
First of all, I want to thank my connect.
The most important person with all due respect.
Thanks to the duffel bag, the brown paper bag, the Nike shoe box for holding all this cash.
Boys in blue who agreed before the badge.
The first pusher who ever made the stash.
The rock boys in the building tonight.
Oh, what a feeling I'm feeling like.
Thanks to the lanes, bad guys.
bullet wounds to stop your buffoonery thanks to the pastor rapping at your eulogy to little kim and them you know the women friend who carry the word cross state for a gentleman yeah thanks to all the hustlers and most importantly you the customer the rock boys in the building tonight oh what a feeling i'm feeling
Red Porsches, Red Portraits Wreck, you dare come near the fortress This apple sauce is from the apple orchard This kind of talk is only reserved for the bosses Which means I get it from the crown Which means you get it when I'm around Rich, black bar mitzvahs Molotov is a celebration behind I wish for you a hundred years of success but it's my time Cheers, toast to crime, number one eater
What a frightful mess Jay-Z has made in the house.
He's weed in the house, he's poured drinks on the house, and he's killed the ice.
It's just chaos whenever Jay-Z comes.
Don't we in the house?
Don't we on the house?
We in the garden at least.
At least it'll go into the soil, but not on the furniture, Jay-Z.
There's no excuses there.
You know, rap is one of the only parts of the music industry that seems to be flourishing financially, right?
Financially?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
I mean Jay-Z is one of the most wealthy men in the world now.
Sure, sure, but word on the street, Adam, is that rap is kind of, you know, losing its way.
But I heard that the sales of rap music accounted for something like 23, 25% of all that.
That's been the case for a while though, hasn't it?
Right.
I remember when people thought rap wouldn't last.
Exactly.
It was like a fad.
When I was listening to it in the late 80s.
What Kenny Everett did is kind of sit smart.
It was a fad.
Yeah, exactly.
And that was taking... How wrong they were and how right I was.
Yeah, you're right about everything Joe Cornish.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
What was that?
What was that?
No, not really.
I mean, you're right about most things.
Yeah.
What was that email that we got about Mr. Majorium's... Yes, we've had some very good suggestions come in for other titles that are similar to Mr. Majorium's Wonder Emporium.
This came in from Aidan.
He says, Dr. Harkett's Supermarkets.
It's weird because they're probably quite easy to think of but still strangely rewarding.
Yeah.
Mrs. Mahaffey and her magical cafe.
No, I've read that wrongly.
Mahaffey.
Mrs. Mahaffey and her magical cafe.
That's a good one.
Or Marcel Toutpop and his enchanted fruit shop.
That's good.
I thought of Chiwetel Ejiofor's wonderful acting store.
That's quite good, but that only rhymes with the second bit of his name.
Say it again?
Chewie Tell, Edgy 04's Wonderful Acting Store.
Is that no good?
I'm not sure.
The thing about Majorium and Emporium is it hits all the vowels in a really convoluted way, doesn't it?
Sorry, I don't mean to do you down.
Well... If we're going to do this, let's do it properly.
How about this then?
Janine McFarlane's Lady Parlour.
I don't know.
I'm not sure you're as good a writer.
I can't do it.
Look, here's how to do it.
Here's one from Simon.
Mrs. MacNesson's delicatessen.
What's wrong with Janine Macfarlane's lady parlour then?
Well, it's quite good.
Do you hear that?
What?
I went... Yeah, that's like a disgruntled horse.
Now you've got a music choice coming.
Yeah, this is one of my favorite reggae artists of all time.
And he's turned the Dreadful Sting song.
And what's it called in New York?
Englishman in New York?
What do you mean Dreadful?
Oh, come on, it's no good.
He's made it good.
Shinehead's made it good.
Here it is.
This is called The Jamaican in New York.
Don't drink coffee, I drink roots my dear And I love my morning ride You can see it in my motions when I walk I'm a jump maker in New York
Let's make it man, as someone said
Nice enough for a party Can't leave to know the writing Pretty soon they'll know you as a nun Because we live so heartily Mob it and don't like we Still we're gonna party till the sun
Shocking madness does not make a man And we're not the only ones with guns Confront your enemies outsmart them if you can But if all else fails you better run
But let's make it, man, and someone said He's the rude boy of the day Takes a man to make a stand Sometimes get wild, be yourself No matter what they say
I'm an alien I'm a jump maker in New York
You just left big gaps there, Shinehead.
It was a bass gap.
If you got really like pumping bass, that would be rattling your jing jongs.
Oh, my little jing jong.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 music.
News from the Song Wars Vocalating Centre.
We're not giving you any definitive scores, but I think it's going to be really close.
Is it?
Yeah, I think it's dividing people.
well there was a lot to be said for both of those songs or maybe a lot to be said about both i think there was the same amount of not much probably maybe to be said so do get your votes in because this week they could really count it's very important this is really important that you vote because all the money imagine the consequences if
if they didn't all the money we raise goes to charity none none money um and anyway we'll be reminding you of those songs later on in the show and that's a promise um but before that more music and before that the news read by joe cornish erica fisher and ruth barnes
on digital radio and online BBC 6Music.
Dramatic scenes at Bali talks, banks under fire, fuel protesters show their anger.
And in 6Music News, Arctic's announced surprise show, Blur Reunion Hint and Keris Matthews for St David's Day celebrations.
BBC News at 10.30, I'm Erica Fisher.
There's been drama at the UN climate talks in Bali overnight.
The United States finally agreed to support a new treaty to replace the Kyoto agreement, but only after hours of deadlock.
The new deal should be drawn up by 2012.
There was applause when the Americans announced they were in, but Stephanie Long from Friends of the Earth isn't getting excited just yet.
There is a lot of work to do and regardless of the outcome here in Bali, there's a lot of work to do for the next couple of years.
And it would be incredibly important for the people of the world to understand that the political leaders are still thrashing through several very important decisions for the next couple of years and we have to keep our eye on this game.
Banks are being accused of using aggressive tactics to hound customers who've got into debt.
The charity Citizens' Advice says banks are putting people under pressure to take out expensive loans.
In other Six Music News, lorry drivers and farmers are taking part in fuel protests across the UK.
They're meeting at oil refineries to show their anger at rising petrol prices, but say there won't be any blockades this time around.
An earthquake hit eastern Indonesia.
The quake, thought to measure 7.1 on the Richter scale, happened about 60 miles under the ground in Maluku province.
No reports as yet of any damage or casualties.
A 26-year-old man's been charged with the murder of two men found dead in a flat above a fish and chip shop in Shropshire.
The bodies of Jaswant Singh Bajwa and Kulwant Singh Dodar were found in the village of Shawbury a week ago.
Sukhdav Singh will appear before magistrates this morning.
And a two-year-old girl born with four arms and four legs is ready to leave hospital after a 27-hour operation.
30 surgeons worked on Latchmitaktma at a hospital in Bangalore in India.
Sine Gupta is a social worker working with the family.
It's just the most incredible transformation.
All those limbs that were coming out, you know, literally sprouting out from her body, you know.
Suddenly now gone.
She's so happy when she sees those two legs.
Now at Six Music News, here's Ruth Barnes.
Six Music News.
Arctic Monkeys have announced they will play their final show of the year on Monday.
The surprise performance will be at the Manchester Apollo and tickets go on sale today at midday.
You can only get them from the Sheffield City box office and the Manchester G-MEX box office and it's limited to two per person.
The performance will be filmed by Warp Films for a DVD release next year.
Six Music caught up with Alex James this week to find out the latest on the Blur reunion.
2007 may well have boasted reformations by everyone from the Police, Genesis, the Jesus and Mary chain, My Bloody Valentine and even for one night Led Zeppelin.
But just where are we with the Blur boys?
Don't hold your breath but I don't know.
But I wouldn't write it off completely.
It would be awful to think there would never ever be a...
Not the blow record, but it'd be even more terrifying to think I was starting well on Monday.
You know, I don't know, when it's right, it'll happen.
You know, it's just good.
It's actually been good for all of us to find other things to do.
You know, it really has.
Finally, Keris Matthews has confirmed she'll be headlining Anglesey's St David's Day festival on March 1st.
Around 2,000 tickets go on sale today.
Keris is also on the road in February for an eight-day tour of Wales.
That's 6 Music News on XBulletin's 1130.
On Monday night from 9.30, Six Music plays it again.
Joe Strummer's London Calling.
Adam and Joe's on six music.
The cage of tigers, oh, we couldn't get closer than this The way we walk, the way we talk The way we stop, the way we kiss We slip through the streets while everyone sleeps Getting bigger and stickier and wider and brighter We bite and scratch and scream all night Let's go and throw all the songs we know Into the sea, you and me All the years and no one hurt I'll show you in spring, it's a treacherous thing We miss you
All you know that I'd do anything for you We should have each other sweet tea, huh?
We should have each other with cream You could've been a fire in sleep for a while Losing your previous day is the perfect dream Into the scene, you and me All the years and no one hurt I'll show you in spring, it's such an interesting thing We miss you
You're simply pretty You know that I'd do anything for you We should have each other's dinner We should have each other with cream And curl up in a fire, get up for a while It's a scrupulous thing, it's a perfect dream And hand in hand is the only way to land Oh, it's the right way round You're broken in pieces, and you've never missed it You've never missed someone as dumb
I love you let's go
Bonk.
Bonk.
That's The Cure, of course, with Love Cats.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Here's an email that's come in from Chris.
Chris, this is a good email.
Good morning, gents.
I think what makes Mr Majorium's Wonder Emporium and Dr Harquette's Supermarket work, where Adam's suggestions enjoyed only a strange sort of success, is the number of syllables.
Mr. Majoriums has six syllables, as does Wonder Emporium, balancing that title out nicely.
And Dr. Harkett's supermarket has eight syllables in total, four to each part.
It seems to me that Adams were oddly weighted, which might have accounted for Joe's slightly frigid reactions.
I'm aware how strange his email is, enjoying the show very much, Chris.
That's true, Chris.
Absolutely valid points there.
He's supporting what I said.
Once again, I'm right.
Well, I don't rub it in my face like that like some kind of face cream if I can't rub that in your face What can I rub in your face?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like a little bit of Nivea really would be nice Yeah, bring you out in spots.
I'm not sure about Nivea though It leaves it makes you look a little bit greasy for about five minutes afterwards later on today Joe Cornish Exciting news from my world.
I'm going to the theater with my children's unusual, isn't it?
Oh, so not proper
Not the proper theatre, by no means.
I'm hoping that the fact that it's for children we're going to see Tintin, so I'm quite excited.
Oh, that's supposed to be a good production.
Where's it on?
It's basically Wickelwockels.
We are... where is it on?
Somewhere?
You don't know, do you know?
No.
At the theatre?
It's on somewhere... I tell you, the only weird thing about Tintin is it's one of those parts that when it's played by someone too old, just... it's weird.
In fact, it's one of those parts, a bit like Asterix and Oblix, that when it's translated from the drawn to the real,
it goes odd.
Now of course Spielberg and Peter Jackson are collaborating on a live action version of Tintin.
Are they?
There are several French live action Tintin films, I think there's three of them, a couple of them big screen and one of them for TV.
What about this knowledge?
What about this knowledge?
That's very impressive.
Yeah and I remember seeing them on TV.
You can't get them on British TV but you can get them on import.
If you're parler français you can understand them.
Yes.
But they've got a kind of a weird
Man, you can't tell how old he is.
Looks a bit like Jimmy Somerville prancing around in little trousers with a dog.
And it's just a bit weird, you know?
Tintin makes sense in the context of a comic book, but were you to meet him in the real world, you'd think, you're a lesbian.
Well, it's like Homer Simpson as well.
You don't want to see a live-action Simpsons, particularly.
Well, there was that.
Wasn't there that trail, that sky trail that had The Simpsons in live action there was?
I think it was last Christmas in fact, this time last year, was all the rage on the internet.
But I know what you mean, it is slightly grotesque.
The one place where that really worked was in South Park where they didn't have live action but they had sort of photorealistic pencil drawings of the South Park kids in one of the episodes when Cartman or someone was going door to door trying to track them down or someone was going door to door trying to track them down.
That was brilliant.
That really, really worked.
But yeah, and Asterix and Oblix as well, the live action version.
Who is it?
It's Depodure.
Maybe that works a little bit better, actually.
You would think so, because he's sort of cartoonish.
Yeah, but I remember as a kid, whenever I saw a live action version of those cartoons, it would weird me out.
It would be very odd, like Freakish, like the Robert Altman Popeye.
Exactly.
It just shouldn't really, it just doesn't make sense on quite a fundamental level.
It blows your mind.
Yeah, you can't make the transition.
Well, it's like... Well, because you have to fill in all the gaps, don't you?
If they're really real, then you mean every single detail actually exists in a world.
It's creepy.
I know, especially with someone like Popper.
You want to see his arms popping up.
Of course, with Popples, they did give Robin Williams quite impressive muscles.
They did.
And actually, it's quite a cool movie to watch now.
It's quite odd and weird.
Yeah, it's a real extravaganza, isn't it?
But I'm hoping, I'm slightly hoping Tintin's going to be quite short.
Because the thing with a lot of children's things, especially pantos I've noticed, I went to the panto last year in Norwich and, oh my gosh, it went on for about 10 years.
Did the kids get bored?
They got pretty bored, but they had all sorts of tactics to keep the kids in live and mainly selling them things people coming round in the numerous intervals with sort of like ones.
They weren't it was mainly not to do with Tic Tacs.
No, it was nothing to do with Tic Tac Tacs.
It was they were selling them sort of glow sticks and light ones and things that span around and of course.
span spun round.
All the children wanted them, you know, so you had to buy them.
Otherwise, you're going to have a nightmare situation on your head.
But I was getting to the, you know, I was thinking, boy, this has been going a long time Cinderella and suddenly that carriage turned up.
And I was like, yeah, there we go.
That's the end.
It was the interval.
And there was a whole other hour.
to go of more Cinderella.
She does go on that Cinderella.
Oh my lord.
On and on and on.
She reads Heat magazine and watches Big Brother and will not shut up about it.
So my fingers are crossed for, what do you reckon, less than, certainly less than an hour and a half.
Less than a day.
I'm hoping.
Oh I'd imagine that's a sort of class production tin tin.
You reckon, yeah.
Oh I look forward to hearing how good that is.
Mr California Cop's Enchanted Electronics Shop.
Mr California Cop.
That's a funny name.
That's almost as far-fetched as Majoria.
Yeah, California Cop's a good name for a show anyway.
California Cop.
They're just filthy... He's a filthy cop.
Yeah, they fawn a cop a lot.
It's like a filthy version of chips.
Okay, more music.
Here is Jack Piñati for you with Have I Been a Fool?
Amends but nothing's mended As what I gave could not be lended I led you on, leading's wrong Made a mill of it and stumbled We both knew that my cookie crumbled I led you on, leading's wrong A kiss is just a kiss I think that's a fool's say But that is what this is Have I been a fool?
Just say, say, say
I've never been a fool, just say
You made a mountain of a molehill Well, that's what I will tell myself Still, I led you on Leading's wrong You made a meal of it and stumbled We both knew that my cookie crumbled I led you on
A kiss is just a kiss I think that's what fools say But that is what this is Have I been a fool?
Just say, say, say Have I been a fool?
Just say, say, say Have I been a fool?
Just say, say, say Have I been a fool?
Just say, say, say I've been told I'm cruel
Six music.
We've got my parents here.
You can see the glamour that we have at Six Music.
Is it everything you could have dreamed of for your son?
It's more attractive and beautiful than a Queen Mary, actually.
More than once, yes.
you within seconds of being on the radio you've mentioned the fact that you can afford to go on the Queen Mary we'll get your opinion on other perhaps the new music no you're a big fan of the new music dad you're endlessly seeking out is it true that when you listen to the show at home you fade down during the records?
Adam and Joe on 6music.com
you
There you go, Susie and the Banshees with Hong Kong Garden.
That sounds very good, doesn't it, these days?
I mean, you know, it hasn't dated badly in the past.
Are you referring to... Oh, I see what you mean, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And if you're a Susie Su fan, then tune in on Christmas Day when she will be taking over the Six Music Airways from 9pm with her own peculiar brand of sort of irascible punk fun.
Did you?
You're not someone who reads the music papers, are you, Joe?
So you wouldn't have read the- No, what are the mus- you mean the NME?
Well, and- Is there more than one?
Not just music papers, but music publications.
Oh, right.
She did an interview- Like Q and Mojo and that sort of business.
Yeah, exactly.
She did an interview in Mojo where she got absolutely furious and walked out.
Really?
And had a real clash with the guy.
What went wrong?
What was the turning point?
Well, the thing is that Suzie Su was one of the earliest punks on the scene.
She's there on the Bill Grundy show when the Sex Pistols were on there.
Yeah, proto-punk.
Swearing away.
And in those days, as a young, naive girl who didn't know any better and was just trying to be in your face, she was one of these people who used to wear a swastika on her arm, you know?
The punks adopted the swastika as just something to enrage the oldies, you know?
They weren't so much doing it as a... Didn't think it through, just doing it as a kind of... Exactly, yeah.
Not they weren't being anti-semitic so much as just wanting to put two fingers up to everyone and say yeah deal with this granddad But of course it's something that she gets reminded of very often You know people saying what's the deal with the swastika and she's like do I have to explain this again?
I'm not anti-semitic Please don't rake up the whole swastika thing and so of course it was raked up once again by mojo and she just stopped she flipped her wig out and
And exited.
I love a good walkout in an interview.
It's good, isn't it?
It's the hallmark of a good interview.
It's enjoyable.
Just to leave.
I think you can find that interview on the internet.
It's a good read.
We should do a series of interviews where the entire aim is to make the person walk out.
Yeah.
What's your favorite walkout from an interview ever?
I'm a big fan of Is It Keith Allen on that late night TV.
I mean the TV ones are best because they've always got the microphone attached.
That's right.
And you can't just walk out, you've got a piece of wire attached to you and you've got to get the microphone off and you know you've got to do a bit of bumbling and fluffing before you could actually leave.
That's the best bit.
Trying to think of what to say when you've decided to leave but still have to lie to for a bit.
tuck the mic right up under your shirt and everything you've got a like you can't make the swift dramatic exit there's there's fiddling to my favorite one is uh the bg's on clive anderson that is a good one do they have microphone problems uh no i don't think they do maybe they just walk out that's the walkout with the mics maybe they got radio mics
I'm trying to think no maybe one of them because one of them is left behind the other two March right and one of them is sat there sort of fiddling with his mic and there's an awkward silence and Clive Anderson looks very sort of genuinely flummoxed.
He never really recovered from that he was he used to be brilliant on TV and he's still on the radio and he never really recovered.
He's having a comeback now he's on QI regularly and he's always good.
Fair enough yeah he's brilliant.
He's good man.
Um, right now we're going to, uh, we're going to recap on some, um, text stuff from text the nation, uh, lies that people have told better have some more music consequences.
Yes.
But here's a track that I picked for you.
Listen, this, this is just a very short thing and it's from Gil Scott Heron.
It's almost just like a poem that he's doing.
And as far as I can tell, it's a, it's a piece, it's a sort of anti extremism piece.
And this, in this case, extremism within the black community.
We'll see about that.
It's called brother.
We deal in too many externals, brother.
Always afros, handshakes, and dashikis.
Never can a man build a working structure for black capitalism.
Always does the man read Mao or Fanon.
I think I know you would be black revolutionaries too well.
Standing on a box on the corner, talking about blowing the white boy away.
That's not where it's at yet, brother.
Calling this man an Uncle Tom and telling this woman to get an afro But you won't speak to her if she looks like hell, now will you brother?
Some of us been checking your act out kinda close And by now it's looking kinda shaky The way you been rushing people with your super black bag Jumping down on some black men with both feet because they're after their BA
But you're never around when your BA is in danger.
I mean your black ass.
I think it was a little too easy for you to forget that you were a Negro before Malcolm.
You drove your white girl through the village every Friday night while the grassroots stared in envy and drank wine.
Do you remember?
You need to get your memory banks organized, brother.
Show that man you callin' Uncle Tom just where he's wrong.
Show that woman that you're a sincere black man.
All we need to do is see you shut up and be black.
Help that woman.
Help that man.
That's what brothers are for, brother.
Well, it's a complicated business being, uh, friends with Gil Scott Heron.
Yeah, it's tough.
There's a lot of things that you can go wrong on.
Uh, darling, uh, Gil Scott Heron's coming round for dinner on, uh, Saturday.
Oh, God.
I mean, he's very difficult.
He's very prickly.
He keeps going on about what one has to do to be black.
In a very particular way.
And I never feel I satisfy his criteria.
I don't understand his criteria.
Plus, I'm trying to study for my BA.
My black ass.
And I don't know, he's getting in the way.
That was Gil Scott Heron with Brother.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Have you got any Textination stuff?
Yeah, we should have a jingle though, shouldn't we, too, Ben?
Yeah, let's get back in there.
Come on, do a jingle, do a Textination jingle.
Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly.
This is your test, man.
Testing Ben's skills to the limits.
Do it.
It's punctuation.
When are we gonna make the... Come on.
Oh, here we go.
Text the nation!
Text!
Text!
Text!
Text the nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
There we go, it's Text the Nation, the nation's favourite feature as voted for by readers of the Radio Times Magazine, Chat Magazine, Heat Magazine and Now Magazine.
Not true.
This week's subject is lies.
Terrible, stupid, stupid lies you've told.
Here are some.
Jem in Edinburgh says, I tell so many lies every day I find it difficult to remember what's true.
My favourite was... That's the problem I have.
My favourite was when I said I was a roadie for a band to seem cool.
Stupid people still believe it.
How could I be?
I'm tiny and a girl.
I love lying.
Some people approach lying as a sort of life policy because at a certain age you do kind of think Well, who's ever gonna follow it up?
You know, what will the consequences be?
And there's a certain type of lie when there are no consequences.
The only consequence would be someone thinking, that person's a tiny bit sad.
And you can put up with that.
It's all right for people you're not really interested in to think you're sad.
You know what?
I've got out of the habit of lying.
Well, as you get older, you realize that actually there's a kind of karma thing.
Yeah.
And it might bite you on your BA.
Yeah.
I find it almost impossible to lie now.
And it's almost become a problem.
Well, that's a lie, isn't it?
No, it is.
It's true.
Yeah.
Cause I've got in trouble so many times with people asking me questions outright.
And I just, you've lied about, uh, well, you've lied about when you're going away.
What do you mean over Christmas?
Haven't you?
Not true.
No, I'm aware of London.
I'm not able to do the show.
Yes.
Okay.
You see, I still think you're lying.
It's going to take me a while to get over your history of lies.
Here's another one from, now this is weird because it's all over the shop.
Oh gosh.
I created an elaborate lie to tell my sister when she was about seven and I was 11.
I told her that the family cat and I could get inside the TV by jumping head first at the screen and hitting the remote.
That's very dangerous.
The cat and I would have all sorts of adventures in TV land before she got up in the morning.
It was only recently I got her to admit.
What?
She tried to do it when I wasn't there, bumping her poor little head against the TV screen.
We're now 21 and 26 from Matt in Lancaster.
Wow.
That's quite an irresponsible lie.
It's a little bit irresponsible.
But it's a good one.
Wouldn't that be brilliant?
The thing that really makes that lie is that you do it with the cat.
I know.
So you've got an animal sidekick and that makes things more magical.
Well it's a nice idea for a TV show, a bit like Jamie and the Magic Torch.
It's a bit like Charlie Brooker's The Magic Noose idea though isn't it?
Do you remember that?
No, what's that?
What was his website called?
TV... Go Home.
Go Home, yeah.
He was just doing scurrilous, appalling, wrong children's TV shows and he had one called The Magic Noose.
Where kids, this is terrible for Saturday morning isn't it, we can't go into it.
It was a kind of a late night type of a website.
You call it the Cat and I and it just, you know, they go in telly and they have adventures in their telly.
Yeah that's what he was on about.
That's what I'm saying.
You've given it a title.
The Cat and I. The Cat and I.
Good one.
Hi lads.
I once told a girl that I owned the town in which we lived.
We stayed together for three years.
Clackas from Cramlington.
He said when he's written like we stayed together for three years he's written the number four and then three years so it could be we stayed together 43 years.
43 years.
Hard to tell there from Clackas.
On a lie.
Here's an anonymous one, understandably anonymous.
I stole my two-fingered woodwork teacher's car badge.
Let's deal with that first of all.
His woodwork teacher's got two fingers.
Does that make you a good woodwork teacher or a bad woodwork teacher?
It makes you a woodwork teacher with stories to tell.
It's like ET.
He's like one of the mutants from Total Recall.
I'm not saying that people who saw off their fingers are mutants.
I got caught.
You know what I'm saying.
A voluntary mutant.
It was probably an accident.
He's a woodwork teacher.
He slipped.
Of course that's what I'm saying.
You said voluntary mutant and now you've made it all sound creepy.
I was trying to get out of the creepy hole.
Oh it's my fault.
I stole my two-fingered woodwork teacher's car badge.
I got caught and told the head teacher that the school bully said I had to do it or he would beat up all of my friends.
i played the samaritan dilemma card and it worked the bully had to buy a new voxel cavalier badge for 14 quid but he made my life a living hell for the rest of the year i think it confirmed the bully's fears that the world was against him last time i heard of him he was in jail
Oh, the joys of growing up in Coventry.
There you go.
Keep them coming in.
What?
Nothing.
I was going to say I went to university in Coventry and then I just realised that it was the most boring fact that I could come out with.
Keep those stupid lies coming in.
Text 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk.
Ta very much, thanks, bye.
Here's the Foo Fighters.
BBC.
Six Music.
It's good, isn't it?
Then that's the new Foo Fighters jingle.
They're really pleased with it.
No, it wasn't the Foo Fighters.
That was the, we call it the top of our, do we call that the sweep?
The top of our sweeper.
Did you like the top of our sweeper?
Right now, here's some music.
This is Faith No More.
Good lord.
It's a dirty song but someone's got to sing it.
That was Faith No More singing that dirty song.
I went and bought that single.
I was excited when that came out.
I thought this is the future of rock and roll.
You were wrong.
And it's a mixture of insane, banging techno beats and heavy metal guitar riffs and this is where music is going now in the future.
and it had all the references to all the exciting things happening.
There was references to Transformers there, which of course have now come back in style again.
Although the Garbage Pail Kids, which were also referred to in there,
Oh, they're due for a comeback, surely.
You reckon?
Yeah, Cabbage Patch Dolls and the Garbage Pail Kids.
They'll get round to them sooner rather than later.
Yeah, Cabbage Patch Dolls.
Oh my gosh.
Anyway, that was Faith No More.
Now, books.
Yes.
Do you like books, Adam?
Book news, love books.
Do you really?
What was the last book you read?
Well, do you know what?
I told you the other day.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You read Mrs. Dalloway?
I'm reading Mrs. Dalloway.
And do you know what?
We were talking about Paul Auster the other day and I was embarrassed to admit that I'd never even heard of him.
Did you get the New York trilogy?
No, I can't remember which one I got.
I got another one that had lots of stars all over it from various newspapers.
Well, if it's no good, take it back and buy the New York trilogy, because that's the key text.
It's one about a husband he's grieving for his family who've been killed in an air crash or something grim like that.
Sounds like a bummer.
Rehabilitates himself.
It does sound like a bit of a bummer.
What have you got there?
I've got a very, very, very good book that I wanted to recommend to, to listeners who like spooky things.
I love a good ghost story and the supernatural.
I don't believe in any of it, but I can't stop reading about it.
I love it.
I'm like, um, scoldy moldy or from the X files, scoldy moldy.
I want to believe.
Um, cause when I was little, I was bought up, uh,
you know, my parents and grandparents used to tell nothing but ghost stories and UFO stories and stuff.
I believed it all.
Now I don't, but I just love reading about it.
And I picked up this book called Will Store vs the Supernatural.
It's not a new book.
This isn't some kind of awful PR plugging session type thing.
I think it's a couple of years old, but it's by this guy, Will Store.
If you lacked imagination, you'd say he was a Louis Theroux, Jon Ronson type investigative humorist.
It's got a quote by John Ronson on the on the cover even there's a picture is that will store on the front?
He wasn't happy with the cover.
Yeah, looks like a kind of cadaver us.
Hey Yeah, no, he looks like a very handsome Louis Theroux And anyway, he's done a thing that I always thought would be a good idea He's just basically set out to try and find he's dedicated like a couple of years of his life to try and find any evidence whatsoever of ghosts the supernatural or any kind of afterlife the tiniest
Tiniest inkling of any kind of reality and is that him setting out as a skeptic at the beginning?
Yeah, he's a skeptic, but he's also open-minded He's from quite a his parents are quite spiritual and it pivots around when he was at a dinner party with his mum His mum says something along the lines of you know, we're a very spiritual family and he goes I'm not and
And she goes, oh, you will be.
And that's always sort of prickled him.
Right.
So he decides to go and he does everything from go on a night with most haunted, go behind the scenes.
And that's quite an interesting chapter.
He does.
Who is the host of most haunted again?
Uh, if that fielding and Derek Okora, they still are, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, and you know, I'd like to reiterate, you know, obviously that's programs are stupid charade, but also quite fun.
Yeah.
It's more indicative of how powerful night vision is and handheld cameras are as a kind of, uh, you know, present presentational device than it is of any kind of, and also how powerful smoking lots of silk cuts and having a weird hair is mostly ghostly.
Mostly ghostly.
That's right.
Kelly calls it that.
Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, it's a brilliant, brilliant book and it genuinely kind of scared me.
It talks a lot about the Enfield Poltergeist and he goes and stays in an amazingly haunted pub.
And when I read it, I thought to myself, well, I'm a complete skeptic, but would I do, would I be scared?
If I went, he goes to stay in some pub that is a kind of old smuggling pub and it has a bedroom called Annie's room and the owners seem very skeptical and they go, oh, you can sleep in there if you want, but you won't last very long.
No, as soon as the door closes, you'll come out.
Yes, there's a dark figure that emerges from the wall.
You'll hear ghostly cackling.
Things will touch you.
So we've done the other room.
We've done the bed in the other room ready for you.
You know, if you were in that situation for some kind of documentary, do you think you'd get freaked out?
no you don't you think you're confident that you would just be completely cool i think i would i feel like well he kind of thinks that yeah and then someone comes in and well he hears breathing he hears weird breathing coming from the um the chair next to the bed right when he turns the lights out coming from the chair yeah it's a living chair oh i'm a dead chair
I'm Charlie the chef and I'm dead.
I'm a dead chef.
Go on.
what what's gonna happen to the man he runs out of the room because he's frightened does he but it's such a good book it was so gripping and not only that he talks to um like uh uh exorcists and he talks to um philosophers and he talks to men what understand all the bits of the brain so and and so he goes on a journey of sorts it's not yeah he talks to physicists about about the areas of the brain that might conjure up these kind of
So he investigates it as if it's an illusory kind of psychosomatic phenomenon rather than a real phenomenon.
I would love to have a little bit of ghost action.
I'm always envious.
I was staying with some friends a couple of weekends ago and in the morning they came down and they said, we had a very bad night, we didn't sleep at all well.
there was I woke up and there was again like this guy breathing sounds they heard right above them they reckoned and what else did they assume that I would assume that was just my own breathing yeah and my brain half asleep well exactly half asleep and I was thinking but still if if that happened in the context of loads of ghost stories and the expectation of a ghost it would still give me that the willies well it freaked them out but I just thought this is so easy explainable
You know, it might be cars whooshing past the window and echoing weirdly.
There's so many things that you could... It's like Occam's Razor, isn't it?
The simplest explanation is usually the right one.
Why would you go for the ghost explanation?
Because it's fun.
Because it is fun, isn't it?
And what's the name of the book again?
It's called Will Store vs The Supernatural and it's published by a book company...
Yeah, and it's really, really good.
If you like that kind of thing, it's the best thing I've read in that kind of area for a long time.
I'm a subscriber to the 14 times.
You love a little bit of spookiness.
Brilliant.
Now here's the stars with the night starts here.
The night starts here, the night starts here Forget your name, forget your fear You drop a coin into the sea And shout out please come back to me You name your child after your fear And tell them I have brought you
The time we had, the task at hand The love it takes to destroy the man The ecstasy, the being free
A big black cloud over you and me And after that the upwards fall And were we angels after all I don't know, I don't know
The night starts here, the night starts here Forget your name, forget your fear You drop a coin
Into the sea And shout out please come back to me You name your child After your fear And tell them I have brought you here The night starts here
Forget your fear, forget your fear Forget your fear, forget your fear Forget your fear, forget your fear
Into the sea and shout out please come back to me You name your child after your fear And tell them I have brought you here
That was Stars with The Night Starts Here.
It's the second track from their fourth album.
Do you know anything about them, Adam?
Nothing.
Nothing, no.
Sounded a bit inconsequential to me, but I may be wrong.
That's merely my opinion.
Yeah, and for the sake of balance, I would like to say that that's my single of the year.
Well balanced, a little too balanced so you put a bit too much weight on that scale.
Do you want to say anything or should we just do another record?
Read out that thing about CSS?
Someone was at a CSS gig last night.
This is an email from Will Weaver.
They're from Brazil, right?
CSS?
I saw CSS play in Brighton last night.
There was a nice pre-Christmas festival atmosphere, but then the gig came to a grinding halt after somebody threw a shoe at Love Fox, the lead singer.
It hit her square in the face.
This sucked.
They carried on until the end of the song without the singer, then that was it.
The keyboard player said, why would you throw a shoe at Love Fox?
You ruined the whole flipping show.
Sorry, I changed my voice wrongly.
I'll do that again.
Why would you throw a shoe at Love Fox?
You ruined the whole flipping show for everybody.
Someone's going to have to either lie...
about throwing the shoe.
I don't know whether the email becomes confusing, but that's basically the long and short of it.
The lead singer got a shoe thrown at their face.
That's terrible.
And it depends on the kind of shoe as well.
I mean, there's some shoes that you would rather have.
Yeah.
If it was a Nike Air Max, it'd be quite nice.
That's quite nice.
Softly bounce off.
It'd be wicked.
And also you'd have like one quite wicked shoe.
Yeah.
You'd probably sell it 30 quid.
Yeah.
You could just hop around and people would think you're really cool.
Exactly.
If it was a football boot, that would be dreadful.
That would be awful.
And if it was a big kind of
Generally it's not a good thing to do, throw shoes at faces.
Why would you do that at a gig?
It's insane behaviour.
A peculiar thing to do.
I tell you what though, there is a weird thing, and I don't know whether you get this in other countries, but whenever you go to a gig, there's always a very small percentage of the crowd who seem to be there not for the band, but just for the kind of... Just for a rock.
Just for a ruck, yeah.
They've kind of bought a ticket as if it's a pub.
Do you know what I mean?
And they talk during the songs and they just generally don't pay attention to the band and they're just looking for women or trouble or...
They just want to get into a big hall full of people yeah and jump about it's not so much those people out there should be a little quiz before you buy a ticket for a concert where you have to ask a few basic question answer a few basic questions about the band.
Oh man there's a horrific scene in The Wire the police series where it's amazing where these two gangsters are going around they're trying to figure out which other gangsters happen to be from New York like central New York.
and they figure the best way to find out is to just ask them a question about the New York house music scene so they ask this one guy like who recorded wiggly jiggly or whatever and this guy goes i don't know man how am i supposed to know who recorded wiggly jiggly bang straight gets it right ahead immediately it's horrific but sort of interesting frightful business well and we're not suggesting that that happens at gigs no you wouldn't execute the uh the people who didn't know the answers to the questions would you or would you or would you adam
I think you might.
You're disgusting.
Maybe I might.
Maybe that'll be my new policy in the new year.
Here's a free play.
This is Roots Maneuver.
He's a kind of a Kennington guy around where Adam and I live in London.
This is a single from a few years ago with, I think, one of the best videos, one of my favourite videos ever.
You check out this video on YouTube if you haven't seen it, but the song in itself is amazing.
And he's doing the Six Mix Tonight from Nine, which I'll be listening to.
He's a genius.
This is Roots Maneuver with Witness The Fitness.
Well well well.
Taskmaster burst a bionic zit splitter Breakneck speed we drown ten pints of bitter We lean all day and some say that ain't productive Could that depend upon the demon that you're stuck with?
Cause right now I see clearer than most I sit here contented with this cheese on toast I feel the pain of a third world famine Said wait, we count them blessings and keep jamming Sizzin', scumbags, scum of the yurfies Wurf was nil until he gained the skill of tux
I'm 15 years young, straight to my grey back self I stay top shelf material, jerk chicken, jerk fish Break away slave bliss, generate G's And then be stashing with the Swiss, fools can't see this Under your pistol's a fist full of hip-hop duns I'm progressing in the flesh Esoteric quotes, most frightening Duppy took a hold of my hand while I was writing Legga me ting duppy legga me an I summon up the power of banana clan Witness the fitness
The prophet and the vamp, one whole conquest Witness the fitness The prophet and the vamp, one whole conquest
One hope, one quest Witness the fitness The confidence 11 One hope, one quest Twigging that Hebrew juice Now with them burning boots Set them spirits, them loose Go ahead, go slash up the noose With conclusive proof About the truth, the right Cause with a beating shite, go push bike Or travel kind of trash Manifest that with oats and boots, right Manifest that, yeah I do my zing way Ain't nothing else I know Gun up in the life with this arachnid pro flow Squeeze the pain from my belly and set my
Travel over ocean, land and sea Face snuff, stress and difficulty Flung back from the brink, whining kinda stink We don't give a frig about what them fools think Frigga network or network or speak for itself Proof of the trophy and the champion, bell come sun come rain come hell stone pell Witness the fitness, the prophet's 11
When time the pressure started by the hookah by the cook by the pooper by the
The kick heave, sickly cryptic Spitting the code and most proud to present that Crufferton mode And it shows that that bro's done, seen a few slights Life throws scenario, reality bites We in collision with the beast Lost to religion and we can't get no peace In that peak, can't run for tech, I've achieved Stoop to the level and we plotting cold grief But we should know that, discipline, make up the geese Separation of the dap from the rap, that's a must Proceed set speed with the crufferton touch
Seats at speed.
The competent, yeah.
Witness the fitness.
The competent living.
One hope, one quest.
Witness the fitness.
The competent living.
One hope, one quest.
Witness the fitness.
The competent living.
One hope, one quest.
I'll see you in the next video.
Alan Williams it was called will store versus the supernatural you can go back to sleep now that was roots maneuver with witness the fitness he must have been so happy when he found those sounds those little squelchy sounds yeah yeah he's amazing that's a that's sonically he's skills mcbrills that's what they call him in scotland skilly mcbrilly skilly no mcbrills skill mcbrills really is what he's called in
OK, let's deal with the rest of the Texanation lies.
You are a very duplicitous and lie-licious bunch, the listeners.
Licentious.
No, it's not licentious, is it?
No, licentious is sort of dirty.
Mendacious is the word.
Yeah, there you go.
This is from Helen Williams.
Morning, guys.
I'm juggling drying my hair with listening to the show.
I listen to the talky bits and dry during the music.
Sexy.
Anyway, I've got a bit of a ridiculous lie for you.
When I was about 13, I went on a beach holiday, so I just imagined her and that she might be excited that we're reading it out.
It never crossed my mind before.
She's actually listening.
She might be excited.
Yeah.
Hello, Helen.
Hello, Helen.
You look lovely.
Is she still in the shower?
You've missed a little bit at the back of the...
Yeah, just try that.
There we go.
Do you want me to dry it?
How would you do that?
Oh, just blow.
Actually, if you blew into a radio microphone, would a tiny gust of air come out of the speaker of the radio?
It would, wouldn't it?
Because it's to do with vibrations, isn't it?
Well, if you weren't... Howard Stern did that thing where he used to go... Oh, and ladies would... Anyway, I've got a bit of a ridiculous lie for you, says Helen.
When I was about 13, I went on a beach holiday and met a guy who I had a little innocent holiday romance with.
When I told one of my friends about him and she wanted some gory details, I decided to spice it up by telling her I'd had sex with him in a beach hut.
I never thought for a second she'd believe me.
I'm actually a little offended that she did, to be honest.
Anyway, it spiralled out of control and she told all my friends and a rumour went round at school that I was pregnant.
Eventually, I had to tell the embarrassing truth.
Everyone thought I was either pathetic or a whore.
Now that's a whole other kettle of fish, isn't it, lying about sexual exploits.
Sexual conquests, that's par for the course.
Everybody does it.
I remember when I was like 19 or 20 and I actually started doing things for real.
That was a late starter.
I couldn't remember myself what was real or what wasn't.
I'd imagined sort of sexual dalliances in such detail that they'd imprinted themselves on my brain with the same power as real ones.
Like fads.
Had or hadn't.
I still don't really know what was going on.
What was a dream and what was reality?
Thank you, Helen.
That's terrific.
Triff.
Hi, Adam and Joe.
This is from Becky.
I once told my little sister that our mum had had a third great.
Come on, start again Cornish.
I once told my little sister that our mum had had a third daughter, which she gave away before we were born.
And I had found a note from her behind the cupboard.
The note was written by me and stained with tea to look old.
So she actually made this note.
She believed me for five minutes before asking my mum who told her it wasn't true.
I caught the idea about making the old looking letter from Art Attack with Neil Buchanan.
And no, I wonder if Neil Buchanan said, and you can use this to lie to your baby sister about the possibility of there being a sibling that was kidnapped by your mother and put in an attic somewhere.
Yes.
Doubt it.
Yeah.
Neil Buchanan.
And here's a sort of country one.
Uh, this is from Peter Green.
The green monster the green monster.
Thanks very much for all your extremely lengthy.
He's bombarding us with emails.
Here's another one.
Don't get upset.
He did another one about about fish that was quite good.
I was going to read out but I can't read out too.
I was going to say Pete don't get upset if we don't read out your stuff.
It's just because it's fairly lengthy and you know we got to we got to spread the love.
Takes us a while.
I live in a quite rural area consisting of country lanes, farmers, fields, woods and wildlife.
As such a herd of deer crossing the road is a familiar hazard for the local car driver.
When my 18 year old brother started driving I felt it was my responsibility to tell him what to do if you run over a deer.
I explained that it's important that you don't try to move the deer by pulling the legs or the antlers.
You must only move it by putting your fingers in its ears and gently pulling.
The story was ludicrous.
Didn't imagine that he'd believe it.
However, when his girlfriend telephoned him one day to say she'd found a dead deer lying in the road, my brother imparted his knowledge to her.
Sprang into action.
After everyone our family had ever known had finished laughing about how a dead deer had been removed from the road by its ear holes by a young girl who knew no better than to do what she was told, it emerged that the smell of dead deer ear wax was still pungent on the poor girl's fingers two weeks later.
Dead deer wax.
Dead deer wax.
There you go.
Lots of lies.
That's grotesque.
Shocking business.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
But thank you very much indeed for texting and emailing.
Can I just do one more?
Yeah, let's do this and wrap up.
Is that alright, Ben?
You're looking upset.
We've got a bit of... It's very quick.
Chris Lote says, Dear Adam and Joe, morning, the worst lie I ever told was when I was at primary school for some reason.
When I think about it now, I still don't know why I did it.
I told some people in my class that my dad was dead.
My mum then got other mums coming up to her after school offering their condolences and I got a big telling off.
That's of course done by Antoine Doynell in Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows famously and you know what I did it to I didn't say my parents were dead but to get out of a history exam I told Shirley Foster at school that a relative had died.
A lot of people do that.
Yeah it's a good one because there's no arguing with that.
Absolutely not but it can bite you in the bottom if they turn up.
Yeah it's not very good.
Here's T-Rex with hot love.
A woman of gold and she's not very older I don't mean to be bolder but to me I hold your hand Wishy I know it and I love the wishy twitcher Wishy I know it and I love the wishy twitcher
She's faster than most and she lives on the coast
And I love the way she twitches
Bad, bad, bad, bad
That's T-Rex there.
That was recorded for the Radio One Club on the 9th of December, 1970.
Wow.
A long time ago.
Sadam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.
It's after just after 11 o'clock, 1130 sorry.
And it's time now for the news.
Radio and online BBC Six Music.
Agreement in Bali at last.
Banks accused of being aggressive and the Savoy shuts for a makeover.
And in 6music news, Arctic's announced surprise show, CSS fans up in arms and Jack Piñata defends Adele.
For BBC News at eleven-thirty, I'm Erica Fisher.
Agreements finally been reached between the 190 countries at the climate talks in Bali.
It came after the head of the UN climate unit walked out in tears and the American delegation was booed.
It means a new document will now be drawn up to replace the Kyoto agreement.
Elliot Derringer from the Pew Centre on Climate Change in Washington says today's agreement is crucial but it's no guarantee of success.
This opens the way for a negotiation of binding commitments, but it really, at this stage, puts no one on the hook for commitments, but it lets no one off the hook either.
And for us, really the critical test is whether this provides an opening that a future U.S.
administration can come in under, and for us it meets that test.
Banks are being criticised this morning for the way they handle customers in debt.
The charity Citizen's Advice says it's had complaints from people who've been pressured into taking out expensive loans.
In other 6music news, lorry drivers and farmers are staging protests about fuel prices at oil depots across the UK.
Tom Hortons organised a demo at the Stanlow refinery in Cheshire and says this is just a taste of what's to come if petrol prices keep rising.
It's just a warm up to say, look, government, look at the job, look at this, do something about it.
We do not want to get back to 2000.
But if we have to put rolling roads on, which they're doing up in Scotland today, and bring it to the head, then we will do.
Fans appeared in court this morning charged with murdering two men in Shropshire.
The bodies of Jazwan Singh Bajwa and Kulwan Singh Dhoda were found in a flat above a chip shop in Shawbury a week ago.
Sukhdaf Singh, who is 26, was remanded in custody.
The President of Pakistan lifted the state of emergency in his country.
It comes just weeks ahead of a general election planned for early January.
And one of London's most exclusive hotels is closing today for a £100 million refurbishment.
The Savoy will open again in 2009.
Now, at Six Music News, here's Ruth Barnes.
Arctic Monkeys have announced a surprise end of year show.
It's on Monday at the Manchester Apollo and tickets go on sale in about half an hour from the Sheffield City box office and the Manchester G-Max box office.
They're limited to two per person and no tickets are available by phone or online.
The performance will be filmed by Warp Films for a
In other 6music news, CSS fans are flooding the band's MySpace page this morning after last night's performance at the Dome in Brighton, where someone threw a shoe at Lovefox.
Although the band finished the song, it was their last of the evening.
Fans' comments are divided as to whether the band should have continued playing, but the overwhelming feeling seems to be that whoever threw the shoe is a scumbag.
And finally, Jack Piñate popped into play live on George Lamb's show on 6music this week.
We caught up with him after Adele ambushed him in the hub.
Turns out they are old friends and Jack says it's a shame they don't hang out like they used to.
On the subject of Adele receiving the Critics' Choice Brit Award this week, Jack dismissed any notions of it being a poisoned chalice for a newcomer like Adele.
Not everyone will be able to handle that pressure.
I know Adele will be fine.
I know her very well and she's just such a strong person.
But yeah, I do think it could be a problem actually.
You think you know how you're going to be able to handle things.
You know, I thought I'd know how I would handle criticism and stuff like that.
But until you really get it, you have no idea.
It kind of hurts.
That's 6 Music News on X-Bulletins at 12.30.
On the Music Week this week, we pay tribute to musical pioneer Ike Turner as block party round off an amazing 2007.
We hook up with the boys backstage at their last gig of the year.
And in this week's agenda, isn't it time we all admitted it?
X Factor's good for the music biz.
That's the Music Week with me, Julie Cullen and Matt Everett.
Tomorrow from 1.
on BBC6 Music.
BBC6 Music.
Just because
When we first met
Jane's Addiction.
Did you pick that one, Ben?
Who picked that one?
You love Jane's Addiction, don't you?
Some kind of like early 90s goth has programmed the show this morning.
You know, we're soft early 80s pop boys.
We just want to hear early 80s.
We like a bit of flavour.
We want some softness, some patheticness, and that kind of music just frightens me and Joe.
For the sake of balance, I loved it.
Oh, it was brilliant.
Nicely balanced.
This is Adam and Joel on BBC6Music.
Now, when I'm working in my office recently, listeners and Adam, I've noticed ladybirds crawling with increasing frequency across the wall.
Even in the winter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, especially in the winter now that it's turned cold.
Little ladybirds.
At first I thought they were cute and then somebody told me that Britain is being invaded by a species of ladybird called the Harlequin Ladybird.
They were introduced in America in, I don't know, like 10, 15 years ago as a kind of way to control aphids.
But they're too strong.
They've wiped out all other breeds of ladybirds and they're becoming a plague.
They were introduced in Europe in something like 2004.
They started to spread.
you go on the internet you can see maps of Britain where people have reported sightings of them they've spread like a plague from the bottom right hand corner of Britain all across climbing up Britain if you live in Scotland or you know the North Wales they're approaching anyway so I'd only got like three or four in my office so I was thinking oh better keep an eye out for these guys and ladybirds they're usually beautiful things yeah
so one doesn't swat them or kill them or do anything bad so I was very carefully putting them under glasses, sliding a postcard under and popping it out the window.
Be free!
I went round to my mum's house, her little office where she coaches children and she said come on to my office Joe, come on to my office and she showed me like eight or nine little ladybirds
all having a little sort of party in the wind on the on the edge of the window frame yeah couple crawling across her desk three or four on the lampshade she's not doing anything about it well no she said to me look at these lovely lady birds there's so many of them but some of my pupils are i don't like them they're a bit disturbed by them
I went, Mummy, because I call her Mummy, I've got no shame in telling you that.
I'm not going to pretend that I call her Ma or Mum.
Or Mumble.
Well, it's often no.
I do call her Mumble sometimes.
Yeah.
And I said, Mummy, these aren't nice ladybirds.
I've read about them on the internet.
They're Harlequin ladybirds.
They're a plague.
They're a pest.
They're armed.
And she didn't look as if she believed me.
No.
Look at them there.
Did you eat that in the 40 and tiny still?
That's probably what she thought.
They're nice.
Look, these ones are having a party.
They're singing.
If you listen very closely, you can hear them singing.
So I was frustrated.
You know that sort of frustration?
It's a kind of deep primordial frustration you get when your parents don't believe you about something.
Yeah.
It's like, you never believe me.
You never respect me.
You think I'm still six.
I'm 84.
Believe me, woman.
But I was...
happy in one respect but also disturbed in the other respect to look closer behind the curtains of her office and find and i do not exaggerate 150 to 200 of these ladybirds hiding in massive gangs between the pleats of and it was really genuinely revolting when you pulled the uh and you know my family are extremely hygienic
This kind of thing never happens.
We're very clean.
Don't imagine we're some kind of Kim and Aggie type, you know, nasty household.
No.
It's a beautifully polished and respectful house.
I've been round.
I can cook.
Yeah, my mum especially and my dad, they're very clean people.
Very much so.
Take hygiene very... It's not like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre around there.
No.
Cobwebs and people in cupboards.
No, it's like the...
Texas Home Care Shop.
Exactly it's like the Texas Delightful Tea Party.
Yeah anyway there were hundreds of them behind in the pleats of the curtains and it was it was so troubling first of all the name is troubling Harlequins at Unsettling Things anyway yeah you know and they're called Harlequins because they've got multiple spots you recognize them because they're orangey and they've got far too many spots
And insects are troubling anyway in a Silence of the Lambs kind of a way.
Moths, the designs on them are weird.
They're like little dice or dominoes.
They seem to have some kind of cryptic meaning to them.
Do you know what I mean?
They're kind of troubling on a weird symbolic level.
You could worship them as gods if you want to.
Yeah, or you could read meanings into them.
You could join the dots up and make pictures and run your life by it.
You wouldn't do that, but I'm overdoing it.
But you get what I'm saying.
There were clusters of these horrible things and every time we pulled another pleat apart in the curtain, there were hundreds more.
So we got the hoover, we hoover them up.
Oh, Ghostbusters.
Yeah, Ghostbusters style, exactly.
And we couldn't believe it.
We were going, oh, mummy, look at it.
Oh, mummy, look at this.
Oh my gosh, she was going, oh, thank God you came.
It was hideous.
And then, when I got back to my office, I was freaked out.
You know, you feel all creepy crawly and it's like, oh, did one of them get in my pants or my shoes?
Plus you just conducted a kind of a massive, great... Killing.
A cull.
Exactly.
Yeah.
ah but it didn't feel bad because they're evil they're nasty the fact that they feel like sort of intruders they're killing all the real ladybirds these harlequin ladybirds and they leave a horrible stinky stain and they're not a nasty business i got back to my office and i was terrified i thought if there's one or two crawling on my wall
I don't really have a curtain in my office.
I've just got a lovely piece of material pinned up.
We haven't got round to putting curtains up there after about seven years.
And I haven't unpinned it for years.
And I thought, oh my God, it could be like, you know, Indiana Jones is back at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Could be completely crawling with these things.
And it wasn't too bad.
There were about 30 in clusters behind my curtain.
I thought you were going to say there was just one giant one standing.
Like mimic.
I get you.
It was troubling but satisfying.
I'm so glad they're gone.
So listeners check it out because it's happening in the winter because there's a cold snap so these things are infesting Britain and they're coming in people's windows.
You know if you see an evil ladybird they can be black with two red spots as well.
Look closer at ladybirds and if they're evil ones kill them.
Do you know who I blame?
Al Gore.
Thanks Al Gore.
Thanks very much Al Gore.
Here's Ida Maria.
There's no longer hanging around You should capture my view Cause I don't want nothing else but you
Cause there's no longer mine Oh, drive away my heart tonight Cause there's no longer mine
He said he's no longer mine
It's one more, isn't it?
Is that it?
Oh, you never know with Ida.
That's Ida Maria with Drive Away My Heart.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Play that jingle, Ben.
So check it out.
Radios across the nation are detuned.
They're being switched off.
Well, you know, I don't know, some people like this.
We've had one or two texts saying they like the songs, one or other of the songs.
We should say, listeners, it's time for Song Wars, the part of the show where me and Adam compose songs on a theme and then we kind of battle them.
If you think you could do a better job on the theme, then do email us, tell us who you are and write a song and send it in.
And if it's as good
as one of ours which let's face it can't be that difficult we may well play it so if you think you know this is rubbish I could do better than that then do it yeah do better than that and send it in and we'll and we'll it stands a very good chance of being played so here we go here are the two songs this week the theme is Christmas let's go first with Adams I'm gonna play the whole thing but we'll we'll play a reminder play about half of it I reckon I maybe I quite like the middle eight so we'll get to the middle eight middle eight is it now call it a day
Well it's Christmas in the country And I'm turning off the gas And I'm putting stickers on my face And painting on my legs We're gonna have a party And I am so excited There's gonna be some parsley And everyone's invited Those people in the city Have forgotten what Christmas means But out here in the countryside We know what Christmas means Christmas, don't drink party time Christmas, party time Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time Germany, party time Christmas, Christmas, country Christmas, Christmas, Christmas bills Party, party, Christmas time Christmas, country time Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time Peter, Christmas time Is that enough?
This is a middle-aged... Oh sorry mate, shhh This doesn't have any singing on it though It's a party
Yeah, enough?
No, it's good though, let's have some more.
Enough?
That's enough, that's enough.
Who was the band who did Cotton Eye Joe?
Keep it bubbling under there, Ben.
I don't know, they were called Cotton Eye Joe.
Rednecks.
Rednecks with an X. I was sort of thinking about Rednecks when I done that.
Wow, you aim high.
Yeah.
Only the best.
Let's hear Joe Cornish's effort.
This is my one.
This is called All Night Garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage.
All night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
All night garage.
All night garage.
Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
Hello there mate.
Hello.
How are you doing?
I've got to buy some stuff or my Christmas will be ruined.
We've got dirty mags, logs and coal, after rates and unleaded petrol.
Is that a DVD?
A fist of fury?
No, it's a double diss suit.
Yeah, we can't let mine play for longer than yours, that'll be unfair, even though it's better.
Certainly some good rhyming action there.
Lyrically, maybe you have the edge.
It's a bit thinly produced, my one.
Lyrically, you have the edge.
Musically, I'm not so sure.
Maybe a bit repetitious on the chorus there?
People like repetition.
Teletubbies.
I don't know about that.
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time.
And that's not repetitious?
Just because you've got the word Germany.
Fade it up, Ben, fade it up again.
Quickly, loud.
Yeah, this is music.
Yes.
Ah, repeat six times.
This is brilliant.
OK, so that is Song Wars for this week.
Get voting.
And of course, if you're listening again, don't text, just email.
Adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Your votes will be very important this week.
Maybe a few weeks before we actually announce the winners, because next Saturday, our show will be prerecorded.
In fact, we've already prerecorded.
It's a special Christmas show.
It's a good show.
We bought each other presents.
It's a gift giving special.
We bought each other a series of presents.
We unwrapped them on air and all kinds of shenanigans ensue.
That was fun, man.
I had a good time.
It was fun.
We got a little bit drunk.
We got a tiny bit tutti.
We decided it was okay to get drunk in the morning on Christmas, Saturday next next Saturday.
Next Saturday, Gordon Brown has announced that everybody must be slightly tipsy before nine a.m.
unless they have a preexisting problem with alcohol.
in which case they must be stone cold sober exactly now here's a track that I've picked for you listeners this is a man who I am very fond of musically Robin Hitchcock and he this year re-released a lot of his stuff including this album his first solo album I believe after he left the soft boys and the album is called black snake diamond roll I really recommend it if you've never heard any of Robin's stuff it's a good entry point and this is a lovely song called the man who invented himself
He came bursting out of nowhere Like a sphere into the sky And he cast his light on everything It was like he'd never died And he landed right on target But the target rolled away And it left him pointing nowhere
He's a fella, a man who invented himself He's a fella, a man who invented himself When you need her love so badly But she's trying to relax You can't work it with your fingers So you try it with an axe
Is like drilling for a rainbow Or an iceberg in the sun He's the fella, the man who invented himself He's the fella, the man who invented himself Nobody knows where he's from Nobody knows where he's gone and gone and gone
To get back from the moon And throw her arms around you In a very quiet lagoon
He's the fella, the man who invented himself
That's Robin Hitchcock with The Man Who Invented Himself.
Just read out one more quick email before we go.
This is from Colin the Gardener.
He says, hey, you know, all ladybirds are a problem.
The Harlequin are still quite rare.
These scare stories are going to have people killing out, killing off a fine insect, blooming DJ types think, you know, everything stick to playing halfway decent music.
That's a bit.
I'm just going to go and kill a bunch of ladybirds just to spite him.
There are two sides to every story.
And I hear you, Colin.
Yeah.
You want to be careful before you kill any kind of living thing.
I feel you Colin.
Yeah.
What if the living thing really really stinks?
Like George Bush?
Hey!
What?
Well no you still wouldn't do that.
No you can't sink to his level.
No absolutely you can't sink to his level you just give him a different job.
Maybe road sweeping.
Give him the silent treatment.
Cleaning the laves.
Thanks for listening everybody.
We'll be with you kind of in a peculiar kind of way next week but we will be here and it's a good show so do listen.
Yeah, exactly.
We're not going anywhere.
We'll we'll be with you right the way through the Christmas and New Year period here on BBC six music.
Thanks a lot for texting and emailing and all that stuff.
We love you.
Bye bye.
to me