Closer to the music that matters.
BBC 6 Music.
Dancing till we're near me Shoulder with love, disappear Whiskey shop, turn off the eyes Saw my father in the second grade Concerned, as kind Yet unable to reach me We were hoping for some romance For we found what we expected
Oh, there's all little bits of steam coming out of Block Party's machine at the end there.
I don't know what he was talking about, but whatever it was, it's very important.
Why, I know he seemed absolutely... Incensed.
Incensed about it.
And excited.
That was Block Party.
And this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music on a Saturday morning for our three hour Saturday morning show.
It's a marathon of fun.
That's what I would call it.
A fun-athon.
A fun marathon.
Yeah, yeah, it's like a three hour fun run.
It's a nice morning as well, folks.
I don't know if you've been out yet, but certainly here in London town can't speak for the rest of the United Kingdom.
And I wouldn't want to know but here in London.
It's nice.
It's crisp.
It's a lovely winter morning.
You know, what are the best things about winter for you Joe Cornish?
Oh, Santa.
Yeah.
The reindeer, the thick, thick snow.
All the Hollywood stars shopping.
That's mainly Christmas, though.
I'm thinking winter in general.
Yeah.
The season.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Because there's lots of downsides to winter.
Who are the people who suffer most in the winter?
This is a very tiring opening link.
I know.
I'm putting you on the spot here.
I'm sorry about that.
But here, the people who suffer most in the winter, they would be the farmers, wouldn't they?
And the homeless.
Whatever.
farmers and homeless.
They're the most underprivileged groups in society.
But there are nice things about winter as well.
I wanted to chat about some of those a bit later on.
That's something to look forward to.
Yeah, I'm doing a tease on my winter chat.
Lots of good music coming up in the show.
Akaka coming up in the show.
I just scratched that bit.
It's nice.
We've got some Lethal Bizzle coming up.
We've got some Blur, some De La Soul.
We're not going to play PM Dawn with Set Adrift on memory.
What have you got against PM Dawn?
That's the most pathetic rap song ever recorded.
It's terrible.
Who's that guy?
What's he called?
Prince B, wasn't he?
Something like that, yeah.
He was confused.
He was confused.
Lots of great music.
Of course, we're going to in a second reveal the winner of last week's Song Wars.
Then later in the show, we'll have this week's Song Wars, which is on the theme of global warming sung very sincerely with some whistling.
Exactly right.
Exactly.
We've also got Text the Nation and all sorts of exciting nuggets.
Yeah, scurrilous rumour, you know, inconsequential chatter, ill-advised gossip, that kind of thing.
All of that to look forward to, but right now, here's some music for you.
This is Smashing Pumpkins.
Doesn't matter what you buy Stay cool And be somebody smooth and sweet Stay now
Are these angels in their wings?
Stay down.
They are fighting and they're scared.
Keep your hands up.
Who wants that?
Who wants that?
Who wants that?
Who wants that?
Go on, you can go out then, for goodness sake, just stop going on about it.
Let me out!
Have we got the results of last week's Song Wars standing by?
Do you, have you folded them up?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Let's hit the jingle.
That was, just before the jingle, I'll just tell you that that was Smashing Pumpkins in case you didn't realise with Cherub Rock.
That was Smashing Pumpkins.
Thank you very much, Pumpkins.
It's time for Song Wars, the war of the songs.
So this is it.
Last week's songs were on the subject of a listener.
We invited listeners to write in with facts about a close friend and then we wrote songs around those facts.
Mine was about a guy called Jack Meller.
Mine was about a guy called James Rohan.
Mine was requested by Joel.
Don't forget, remember his second name.
I think, yeah, I think Mark was the name of James's friend.
Are we going to play little reminders?
Or have you got the whole blooming things?
Do you want the clips or the full thing?
Let's just have the clips, don't you think?
Yeah, little clips, I think.
This was my one about Jack Miller.
Yeah, that's enough.
That's enough.
They might need to be beefed up a little bit volume-wise there.
There's a man whose name is James Rohan.
He's a beast!
On the surface he is not a suit, but his armpit hair.
This is Adam's.
What was this one called?
James Rohan, Neanderthal Man.
Okay, and I'm going to open the envelope now to reveal the winner.
It's very exciting.
I just remind listeners that I have, that me, Adam Buxton, I have lost Song Wars every single week for the last four weeks.
This would be week number, no, this would be week number four that I had lost in a row if I lose again.
Is it?
What?
No, this is show number five.
Yes, it would be.
Yeah.
Number four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um.
Well look at that!
The tables have turned.
Yes!
Adam has taken it by 75% to 25%.
Thanks, fans!
Bucko wins.
Bucko, smash-a-room!
Oh, I'm happy about it.
I can't pretend that I'm not happy about it.
I've got quite a good email that's an analysis of your song.
Oh, really?
But it's through there on the printer.
Shall we play the next record and I'll go and get it?
Yes, okay.
Well, that's good.
So are we going to play my song in full, then?
No!
The winning song!
Okay, then if we have to.
Yes!
Here's James Rohan, the Neanderthal man.
There's a man whose name is James Rohan He's a beast!
On the surface he is not a shoot But his armpit hair is scary And for that reason he is known as Harry He is preoccupied with lady parts and solo fun Before the internet he lived up on the top shelf He bought a Lindsey Dawn Mackenzie DVD One time!
But returned it cause it wasn't really dirty
He likes football and drinking He's not a fan of thinking He nearly gets in fights with blokes at karaoke nights He sounds like quite a nightmare But perhaps that isn't quite fair Maybe there's a softer side to Harry that he's trying to hide
For example, Jimmy Rohan used to be a swimming champ, which is when they had to shave all his hair off.
When it grew back, it was longer and coarser, which may have left him with some feelings of resentment.
On the plus, Jimmy Rohan really likes Star Trek, which indicates that he is not beyond redemption.
James Rohan, Neanderthal man, learned from the lessons of the Trek, and apparently his mum is really fit.
emails that we received over the week in relation to that song.
One was from Rich Flight.
He's the web administrator at the Climbershop Limited in Cumbria.
Oh yeah.
I went for that show.
He says, hi Adam and Joe, despite its slightly Suggs-esque vocal styling, I think Adam's hairy Neanderthal man song is by far the superior.
I'm not saying I'd go out and buy it, but if I had to choose one, then it's the dot dot dot least dot dot dot bad.
That's nice, isn't it?
That's fair.
And here's the analysis.
This is by a guy called Craig Mackin.
M-A-C-H-I-N.
I'm going to read it out in a kind of New England, American, intellectual, Paul Theroux style voice.
He says, hello chaps.
Great to hear you're back on the air.
I hope you start doing a podcast again soon.
That's not really a Paul Theroux voice.
That's more like David Byrne.
David Byrne, okay.
My vote is for Adam's James Rohan, the Andedal Man.
The chugging, relentless verse melody with its gruff vocals perfectly highlights the nefarious character of James, the song's subject.
I'm going to stop this voice.
At first this sounds like it's going to be a jocular hatchet job on James's character, but then our attitudes are questioned by the change of emotional tone, both lyrically and musically, during the chorus stroke middle section.
Adam switches to a more melodic and sincere singing style which insists that we do not just see James simply as a beast or a figure of fun.
He sounds like quite a nightmare but perhaps that isn't quite fair.
Maybe there's a softer side to Harry that he's trying to hide.
The chorus ends on an unresolved chord.
Is there a softer side to Harry?
The verse returns with barely a pause for breath now sounding emphatic rather than mocking and provides us with the answer yes Harry is not
Beyond redemption, quote.
For example, Jimmy Rohan used to be a swimming chap.
While also given an insight into the trauma that may have made Harry the man he is physically and psychologically, Adam, like James's defence advocate, beseeches the listener to take James's full body shape into consideration, bravely pointing out, even though the line does not rhyme, that it might have left James with feelings of resentment.
as well as more than the average quota of body hair.
The simplicity and brevity of the song belies its complex arguments for acceptance of other lifestyles and appearances.
With its reggae-inspired tune, the listener is reminded of the anti-racist ska songs by white performers in the early 80s.
As for Joe's song, nah, it's not as good.
There we go.
Thank you, Craig.
That's fantastic.
I'm going to frame that.
Keep that.
That's amazing.
So that's that's this week's song wars.
We'll have another song wars coming up in a bit.
We have to leave a bit of a gap to clear the air of the stench of amateur music.
But there will be some more amateur popping
You know around 10 o'clock.
So hold tight now.
This is not an amateur song.
Is this something that you chose Joe?
Yeah, what is it BDP?
Yeah, this is brilliant.
This is from a Man Joe just had a little brain fart
This is from BDP.
They're called Boogie Down Productions.
This is a great album called Ghetto Music, the blueprint of hip-hop.
I thought it was deleted, but then I found it in America.
You must have been so happy that day.
I was so happy.
I'm wicked.
I found it.
And this is a track from it.
This is called The Style You Haven't Done Yet.
The number one set and sound.
Ghetto music.
Many have claimed to attain levels and rhyming But when I listen to em I see they're only lyin' They're tryin' but after some years if you ain't got it Lay it down, put it down, find a way to try and stop it But change it, rearrange it, be a producer Don't touch the microphone because you'll always be the loser And laugh that smirk gone, you don't belong
form their song on and on and on and on and on.
Yo, let's get specific.
This style is living gifted, poetically uplifted.
I speak to you, not at you to attack you.
Maybe when I'm through with this rhyme, I'll get a statue.
So now I ask you or tell you people literally.
When it comes to rocking funky lyrics, you are better than me.
Down with BDP, endlessly reciting poetry.
You hear my voice, you know it's me K.R.
Nope, I'm not ready to say my name yet Many say they teach, but this style they haven't attained yet
Run it, sun, plummet, ball.
Don't you know that it's KRS-One that comes to sing the styles that ain't sung.
I rock the party, but oh, gotta run.
Cause only the suckers won a chance at that to see if KRS-One is really all out.
Jack slap all of them back because the teacher that you see is not wack I'm like the snap of all the hits that I'll make Three albums, a triple layer cake And throw it in your face, you waste Pick up the pace and taste a poet from the black race While I whip, you whine You're out of touch, I'm out of time Here's another run
Yes, the white men are in effect.
Here on BBC6 Music, it's Adam and Joe on a Saturday morning.
Hello.
He had a little lyrical nod to Hall & Oates there.
Did he?
I'm out of touch.
You're out of time.
Did he?
Yeah.
I wonder how that relates date-wise.
Well, they were 1981, something like that.
There's a digital cable channel called Main Street.
Do you ever stumble across it?
Oh yeah, sometimes.
And it plays reruns of the Old Grey Whistle Test.
Yes.
And Hall & Oates were on it last night.
That's right, they play like whole concerts.
Yeah, it's brilliant.
Was that a good one?
Because I saw, who did I see on Whistle Test and it wasn't quite so good.
Hall & Oates were playing a song called Abandoned Luncheonette.
it went on for hours they were furious that the luncheonette was abandoned oh i saw tom petty a tom petty special i like tom petty oh it wasn't that very well they're often very very early performances yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the end of that conversation well you know listen i was uh talking about winter earlier on i don't want to like talk to you about winter but i just thought it would be nice just so so broad
Yeah, I know it is.
Listen, I'm going to narrow it down for you, right?
Because I thought it'd be worth celebrating the positive aspects of winter that are seldom celebrated.
You know what I mean?
Because people are very pro-summer, everyone writes songs about the summer, that kind of thing.
But there's certain things that really I love about the winter.
And I want to tell you about them now.
Here are my top favorite three things about winter.
Getting very cold water out of taps all the time.
Isn't that nice?
Do you not enjoy that?
You're like the world is the world is a water cooler.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, you don't have to run it for ages to get the cool stuff in summertime.
Sometimes, summertime, you have to run it.
You run it for about five minutes there and it's not even getting very cool.
Where?
Just there.
There.
And you start thinking, now I'm wasting water and I'm not even going to get a cool glass of water out of it.
Not a problem in winter when the freezing water is there instantly.
Delicious.
And I said before that obviously I'm taking into, you know, this is ignoring the fact that winter is a very hard time for a lot of people.
Very difficult.
Very difficult, especially if you're homeless and if you're a worm and if you're a farmer, winter is not an enjoyable time.
If you're a worm farmer.
Then it's the worst.
Hell on earth.
The hard earth you have to deal with.
it's a nightmare even think about it here's another thing i enjoy about one two number two not being constantly distracted and confused by attractive people mainly women wearing hardly anything there's something sexy about too many clothes though
Well that's the thing I like it's manageable sexiness though do you know what I mean it doesn't it doesn't scramble your mind.
You know the basis of eroticism is concealment.
Well there you go of course.
You know eroticism is about what you can't see not what you can so a woman in a massive puffer jacket, 20 scarves, a hard hat and massive boots is very sexy to me.
I think what's she like under all them layers?
All red and sweaty is the answer.
Yeah.
That's sexy.
Just you describing that is nice.
I'm going to play that back later on.
But no, I like it, you know, because in the summertime, sometimes you walk around your days, if you're feeling a little bit, uh, Randy, your day's more or less ruined on a sort of five minute basis by Randy Newman.
Yeah.
A little bit Randy, um, Donald.
And then it's just a disaster area.
Um, here's the final thing I really enjoy.
This is an obvious one about winter.
just cosy-ness in the... It's cosy, isn't it?
Duvet cocoon?
Mmm.
Oh, sometimes you wake up in the morning, if you don't have to get up for work immediately, and you're in the duvet cocoon, life doesn't get that much better.
It's true.
A lot of people listening to this will be in the duvet cocoon.
Good times.
We wish we were there with you.
Yeah.
Oh, I do.
I do.
Not I do.
Not you.
Me?
No, we'd have the listeners in between us, so we wouldn't have to touch...
each other but would we be touching them oh yes we don't like to touch each other we did a photo shoot this week for the BBC and when the photographer asked us to touch our heads together because they always ask us to do this when you're a kind of duo or whatever and they're taking pictures of you they always say can you push your heads right together and do a crazy face stick your tongue out Joe just said nope I don't want to touch him imagine us appearing if you're in bed now listen to this imagine us appearing like something out of the other grudge
Under your duvet.
Fondling your ankles.
That's right.
You know, here's a segue for you.
This is someone I would really enjoy it if she popped up.
My grandma is all over the shop this morning, but I would be delighted if this person... It's early, Matt.
I think the first hour we... No one expects people to speak properly.
No, there's no good grammar rules.
Between nine and ten on Saturday.
But if our next artist popped up in the duvet cocoon, I would be sorted.
This is Bjork with Earth Intruders.
Bjork.
Sorry.
I
We are the sharpshooters, block of parachuters necessary
We are the earth's intruders, we are the earth's intruders We are the earth's intruders
Lovely, lovely Björk Björk.
Is that the way to pronounce it, you said there?
I don't know.
Some people pronounce it Björk.
Björk.
Oh, she's adorable.
You know, some people, we were talking about our amateur songwriting.
You were a bit worried that it's sort of taking over the programme a bit.
Well, it's one of those things if you, you know, if you're not fond of a feature in a program and you tune in, your heart sinks because you think, oh, they're going to be with this because we got it.
We play last week's, then we play this week's, then we play this week's again.
It's sort of, um, spreading all over the show, like an, like a fungus or an owl guy or a rash or a rash, but some people like it.
Here's an email from James.
Pittendre.
Dear Adam and Joe, I would love to have a copy of Joe's version of Place the Meatballs.
Any chance of emailing me one?
I can't get it out of my head.
Someone asked me what I was singing in the work kitchen this morning as I was getting my morning coffee.
Place the Meatballs.
Place the Meatballs.
They must have thought I was a bit weird when I told them.
When I told them, it was a song about how to cook IKEA Swedish meatballs.
Is his name James Pittendre?
Possibly.
I hope so.
Yeah, Pittendre.
Pittendre.
And here's one flattering about yours Adam.
Yeah?
Being balanced.
Dear Adam and Joe but mostly Adam.
This is from Sarah Castro.
Please could you put the Scallywag classic Tiny Mobile Speakers back on the BBC website because it's a work of pure genius.
Even after 20 times of hearing it throughout that glorious week after the broadcast I would always laugh and it has been sorely missed.
My mate Claire agrees and it's her birthday this next weekend.
Wow.
This next weekend.
Don't worry, well these are the kind of things that we'll put in our podcast when they eventually happen.
We might talk about that a bit later on, give you a bit of an update.
But right now it's time for the news, read by Harvey Cook.
BBC News at 9.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
So there's a warning this morning that the number of people who struggle to pay for their heating could rise dramatically this winter.
One of Britain's largest independent energy brokers says the cost of gas and electricity could rise by as much as 10% and push 400,000 more households into fuel poverty.
Duncan Sedgwick from the Energy Retail Association says fuel costs are forcing prices up.
Oil is at all-time highs, you know, up towards $100 a barrel.
And even more worrying, perhaps, coal prices have actually doubled in the course of the last six months.
So, unfortunately, things aren't looking good, but we do have a very competitive market.
Next on Six Music Police, searching for those two missing computer discs containing the bank details of millions of child benefit claimants and now focusing on the career firm TNT, the discs haven't been found at the revenue and customs offices in Tyne and Wear.
Passengers who were rescued from the stricken cruise liner which struck ice in the Antarctic Ocean are expected to be flown to Chile today.
The holidaymakers, including 24 Britons, have been resting at two air force bases.
The ship, the MS Explorer, is believed to have sunk.
The first exit polls from the Australian election suggest the Labour Party will win.
The PM John Howard may lose not only his job, but his seat in parliament.
Polling stations have now closed in the heavily populated east of the country, but are still open in the west.
If the biggest shareholder in the troubled Northern Rock Bank is threatening to block any takeover that breaks up the firm or sells its assets off too cheaply, RAB Capital's position could jeopardise some of the rescue packages on the table.
In sport, the former Real Madrid boss Fabio Capello has been explaining why he wants to be the next England manager.
Capello says managing England would be a fascinating challenge.
In the Premier League, the leaders Arsenal play Wigan, new boss Steve Bruce will be there.
In the SPL Celtic are three points clear at the top, playing Aberdeen.
Rangers are away to Falkirk.
And the weather?
Well, rain moving from northern England into Wales and southwest England.
It'll be lighter and patchier towards London and southeast England.
brighter in Northern Ireland and Scotland.
There should be some sunny spells.
Highs of nine degrees in Belfast, eight in Edinburgh and six in London.
That's Six Music News.
I'll be back with more at 10.30.
Hear any show anytime you like.
Listen again at bbc.co.uk slash six music.
Take a sound Say have you heard the news today?
One flag was taken down To raise another in its place A heavy cross you bear A stubborn heart remains unchanged No home, no life, no love No stranger singing near your name
Let's say we take this town No king or queen of any state Get up to shut it down Open the streets and raise the gates I know I want to stay I know I feel without a name Get on without a care Before it's way too late
Colors change in the valley skies Oh God, I've sealed my fate
Before every piece to fall in place We're ever gone without a trace Your horizon takes its shape No turning back, don't turn that page Come now, I'm leaving here tonight Come now, let's leave it all behind Is that the price you pay?
Running through hell, heaven can wait
The Foo Fighters with Long Road to Ruin that's released on the 3rd of December and George Lamb chatted to Dave Grohl on Thursday.
You can hear the interview again if you head to George's page.
I just ended the sentence.
I like it.
I like it.
Keeps people switched on.
Absolutely.
I'm going to go to George's page.
I'd like to hear what Dave Grohl has to say.
Yeah.
Is it text the nation time?
I think it is.
Yes, it's Text the Nation, the part of the show, unlike any other programme, where we ask you to text in...
about things.
You can text 64046 or email actually adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
And what was the theme we established last week?
You know very well what it was.
Yeah but I'm doing it like a duo thing.
Yeah but I want to put it all on you because I think it's a little bit of an inflammatory one.
Do you?
I think it's dangerous, this one.
Do you?
Because I think it's something that you should be ashamed of.
Like, one should be ashamed.
What?
Do you know what I mean?
This is, basically the idea is, for Textination, is ideas that you think you had before anyone else.
Yes.
exactly yeah but sometimes it genuinely happens I know it genuinely happens but I think it's a good thing in life it's an important thing in life to not dwell on it ever I agree but we're allowed to dwell on it for one Saturday morning for a couple of hours just to just to let off the steam yeah we're talking about ideas you think you had and then they turned up in the real world someone else had them a product or a film or a book or something because you can become a very twisted and bitter person absolutely and one of the important things about being creative
I'd like to let you know is that you've got to have lots of ideas.
Exactly.
You've got to be able just to throw them out and not worry about it.
And you've got to act on them.
That's the other key thing.
It's no good having an idea and then just sitting on it.
If you don't act on it, you may as well never have had it.
Here's my one what I had and I didn't act on quickly.
We had an idea for a film about a couple of people who run a video shop and they make all the films that they rent out.
So they get they it was you know gonna be a kind of an Adam and Joe show thing and they were gonna and they were gonna rent out silly spoof versions of films now Michel Gondry who made What did he make eternal sunshine of the spotless mind?
Yeah, and the science of sleep?
Yeah, he's done it
with Jack Black and Mos Def.
What's it called?
It's called Be Kind Rewind.
There you go.
And it's about Mos Def and Jack Black run a video shop and a meteor passes it, a magnetic meteor, and it erases all their VHS tapes.
Don't ask why they're renting VHSs in this day and age.
It's set in the olden times, isn't it?
I think so.
And then they have to make all the... So it's exactly that idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, he's done it, I'm sure, a lot better than we would.
or maybe no I haven't seen it maybe not people say it's pretty good I bet it's but that makes me happy I can't kind of read about it yeah I might be feel sick when I go and see it my idea that I had a while back around about 2001 I did this and I was watching a lot of director commentaries at the time on DVDs and I just thought it would be funny to do like a spoof director commentary that for a show that really didn't deserve one
Oh, yeah, this is true.
And yeah, so I did a thing with my character, Ken Korda, who, you know, talks a little bit like this, and he's a bit of an idiot.
And I did a whole commentary for an episode of a show called The Priory.
With Jamie Fixton and Zoe Bull.
Yeah.
And it was, you know, it was a simple idea.
It was just the idea.
It was silly that-
Yeah, spoof commentary for a show that really wouldn't merit one You know as wonderful as the priory was so I did the whole thing and like 45 minutes worth of ludicrous commentary I made menus for it and everything and it was just something I did to amuse myself and my friends But then then but then I thought I'm gonna send this idea around
around you know because people really liked it and a couple of my friends said you should you should pitch this to like a TV station or whatever so I went around and pitched it to a few people everyone told me to leave the building and get out and they weren't really it's a couple of people were vaguely interested but they never acted on it two years later Rob Brydon did the exact same thing director commentaries but he did them for sort of old films I'm not suggesting that he stole the idea but it was a piece of synchronicity that was very frustrating for me I must say
Anyway, we'd like to hear your ideas that you think you had before anyone else, with any kind of supporting evidence.
Yeah, text 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusic at pbc.co.uk and we'll read the best ones out.
Now, here's some music.
This is De La Soul with I Know.
Greetings girl and welcome to my world of friends and right up to bat Is it Daisy A.D.
about to walk top stage so wipe your lotto's on the mat Hip Hop love this is and don't mind when I quiz your involvement before the sun But clear your throat cause this a one man sport in homes Better for this than plug one Don't have to worry about me squashing other deals cause they've already been squished Freeze the frame of our moves the same wish we can continue
right behind the bush you'll stay with me i know this but not because of all my earthly treasures or regardless to the fact that i'm past the noose but because
May I cut this dance to introduce myself as the chosen one to speak.
Let me lay my hand across yours and aim a kiss upon your cheek.
The name's plug two and from the soul I bring you the daisy of your choice.
May it be filled with a pleasure principle in circumference to my voice.
About those other jennies I reckon with Lost them all like a homework excuse This time the magic number is two Cause it takes two, not three to seduce My destiny of lust is brought to an apex Sex is a mere molecule In this world of lust that I have for you It's true, true
Now it's time to let this rhyme style get somewhat poured in the mold.
Hold my hand and we'll pick my plantation of daisies for a bouquet of salt.
At the cut of a rim.
Take it as filth to the rim as in brim.
Squeeze your stoop like Betty Boop.
Then make camel out of it's soup and spill pork ones within.
Forward march of the same when transistors go play.
Coming to bed is the move.
Building sound will be in top crown when I put the needle into your groove.
I got a good thing and in full swing I show this and it gives words or letters But even without those three I know you'd be close to me cuz
It's I again, and the soul that I send Is taking steps to reach your heart Any moment you feel alone I can fill up your empty part We can ascend till we reach De La Heaven And in a spin we'll hit the top ten Then we can meet Mr. Stuckey And pass brother luck you will preach Let the wedding, the wedding Shot by an arrow of two Through a string of a G clef My dear, I claim your death And if you can hear me by golly gee True boy is ready for what you possess
We could live in my plug-tube home And on Mars where we could be all alone And we make a song for two picture-perfect things And I sing of how
There are the plugs one two and three from Delosol.
Man that is good stuff.
It sounds fantastic doesn't it?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah I know and who are they sampling there?
That's uh Steely Dan isn't it from Peg.
Yeah you're right.
Yeah yeah yeah and that's an amazing song as well.
Anyway this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 music we're with you for the next.
Two and a quarter hours of fun.
Over to you, Joe Cornish.
Coming up now, it's advert analysis time.
I've been watching, as I mentioned earlier, rubbish cable channels and they're obviously where the worst adverts collect, the kind of Sillet Bang type adverts.
Although, before we continue very briefly, there's an ad that's bled over all channels at the moment for kettle chips.
Have you seen that one?
Is it Vox Pops?
Yeah, it seems to have been made by a five year old for 50 pence.
Well, we've often discussed this, Adam and I, that advertisers obviously go out of their way to make adverts weird.
So there's something sort of unsettling about them that kind of sticks in your brain.
And obviously these kind of sync adverts, not adverts for sync, but the ones that sync to the bottom of the barrel that you tend to get on these digital channels are prime examples of that.
That's right.
They're really odd.
They're sort of designed to, if you're a housewife, to kind of educate you but also freak you out.
Yeah.
And it's well known that, you know, stuff like the Cillit Bang adverts, they're designed to be odd.
They're designed to appeal to students and they're kind of, you know, knowingly designed with an inbuilt sort of culty thing that people get obsessed with them.
Yeah but they're getting very very good at this.
It's not like sort of Pleasantville style 50s stuff where everyone's just chirpy and it's this artificial world where everybody talks about products.
It's gone beyond that Truman Show thing.
Now they're starting to be really deliberately abstract in some of the editing and presentation and we can't say the name of the brand can we on the big British castle.
Best not to so I'm going to call it Fluffite.
It's a product for making clothes more fluffy.
You stick it in the old washing machine and there's an advert for Fluffite and we're going to perform it for you now.
A bedroom.
Lady number one is putting on a jumper while her dark haired friend lady number two lounges sultrally on the bed behind her gazing at her bottom.
Lady Number One notices that her jumper is all stretched.
Oh no!
This one's all stretched too!
Sudden cut to a strange man standing in the kitchen.
He's addressing the camera.
Looks like she needs a bit of help.
Back to the bedroom.
In the time it took to say that one line, Lady Number One has taken off the stretched jumper, revealing a sexy white vest.
She's hung the jumper on a hanger and is now inspecting it, her sexy friend standing close behind looking worried.
And I wash everything so carefully.
Suddenly the man reaches out and grabs the jumper as if he's been in the same room all along, but for some reason was neither audible or visible.
He addresses Lady Number One.
It's not you.
It could be your detergent weakening the fibres of your clothes, leading to this kind of damage.
We see jumpers damaged by shrinking, bobbling and fibre damage.
The man's disembodied hands gesture over the ruined woolens, finally entering a brown sleeve and popping a finger through a hole in it, giving the camera the finger.
Now he thrusts a big bottle of fluffite with a huge bulbous blue plastic ball on the top towards the woman.
Try new fluffite stop stretch.
It's more than just a detergent.
It's a safe-turgent.
The woman looks at her friend impressed at this amazing new word.
Mmm.
Her sexy friend returns her look aroused.
And that means fluffite helps keep all your clothes looking and feeling new for longer.
The word safe-turgent comes up.
It's trademarked.
The man holds up two jumpers.
He's suddenly got two jumpers.
He's got the jumper she originally took off and it's suddenly all beautifully ironed and not stretched anymore.
How did he do it so fast?
Fade to black, fade up on the two ladies having coffee.
Wow, new outfit?
No, new detergent.
Lady number two strokes lady number one's arm, then runs her other hand down her thigh, and they snog.
That doesn't happen.
Cut back to the man in the kitchen, an array of bulbous, bulbed bottles before him.
New fluff-eyed stop stretch gives you the power to become invisible, stop time, break into a beautiful lesbian woman's house, hide in her kitchen, wait until she notices her jumpers are stretching, and then very suddenly give her a product demonstration without anyone noticing anything unusual or calling the police.
So keep an eye out for that one on the telly list.
You made up that last line.
I did make up the last bit.
A safe turgent.
I can't believe they actually used the word safe turgent in there.
It's not a detergent.
It's a safe turgent.
Well it's worked on us hasn't it because it's stuck in our brains.
Yeah it's brilliant though because it means all other detergents are unsafe.
Yes that's right.
You know by definition.
They're dange turgent.
Danger turgents.
Death turgents.
Death turgents.
Right now, here's a track that I chose for you folks.
This is from an album that I was rooting through the bins of CDs here at BBC6Music.
There's huge kind of recycling bins with all the multiple copies of CDs that go off to get recycled.
And I found this one at the bottom.
Suburban kids with biblical names, they're called, and they're from Sweden, and they make a kind of lo-fi, low-tech kind of poppy noise that's redolent of early Beck and all sorts of influences there.
But this is a good track.
Hope you like it.
Oh, it reminds me of the monochrome set, early 80s outfit.
Anyway, check this out.
It's called Seems To Be On My Mind by Suburban Kids with Biblical Names.
Hope fun and my incompetence doesn't make that much sense Our qualifications shrink like time, you know As I'm getting old, as I'm getting older All the while love seems to be on my mind Seems to be all the time This is the way I always start my songs Singing and swinging
I know, that anonymous field is true, so vague and pale I do.
Spending my quality time with my TV, is the last thing I should do, is the last thing I should do.
So long, for respectful funds I won't, I stood for a distance call, making me wish I was not here.
Love seems to be on my mind Seems to be all the time Oh what a lovely way to spend your life Not needing anything Just walk around and sing I took a train, I took a break I had to get out of this place and find my love Where had she gone?
She was lost in all this stress
Seems to be on my mind Seems to be all the time Is this the way I always end my song?
Singing and swinging along Singing and swinging along Love Seems to be on my mind Seems to be all the time Is this the way I always end my song?
Singing and swinging along Singing and swinging along
Many of the BBC's radio programmes have podcasts which you can download and listen to wherever and whenever you like.
I am the alpha male.
The Jonathan Ross Podcast from BBC Radio 2.
The men go, you're not putting him on again, are you?
And they go, I need something in my life.
This is Five Live.
Mark Camode and Simon Mayo's Film Review Podcast.
A really good, smart, low budget film.
Quote from Steven Spielberg.
He said it gave him inspiration for the rest of the year.
Russell Howard and Jon Richardson on six.
I organize my pants, practical, sexy and specific pants.
Do you do that?
I'll put you in this section.
Oh, I can barely put my hand in there.
Download them for free now.
Go to bbc.co.uk slash podcasts.
Where's our podcast?
Well, where is our podcast?
That's a good point, isn't it?
We've been a bit slow organizing it, finalizing the details.
I think what's going to happen.
is that we are going to just leave it for the rest of the year and then launch in 2008.
Oh my goodness.
It'll be so strong though we'll have all these shows to pick the best bits of we'll record some new stuff it'll be bionic.
We're going to launch all the heck out of that podcast folks you will not be disappointed so just hang on in there.
Before the trail there you heard suburban kids with biblical names.
That was good.
Yeah it was a good track wasn't it.
And it had whistling in it, which is very apposite, because this week's Song Wars, which we'll be doing in 20 or 30 minutes time, is songs with whistling in them.
It's more than that, but it does feature whistling.
Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I put an extra little syllable in there.
That was good.
It made the word different.
Thank you very much.
Now, would you like to hear?
No.
No?
What?
Blur?
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
Here's a little session track for you.
This was recorded way back in the good old days, 1999, when life was simpler.
Terrorists were just a little glint in the eye of Osama bin Laden.
And that's not, no, that's necessarily true.
But blur what the blur was past their prime in those days weren't they really was they were slightly on the decline there They were holding it together.
I'm very rude Graham Coxon was furious He was just about to leave but still they were together and they just released their album 13 I think around about this time and they were playing this is this is that Chrissy track, isn't it?
Yeah, they were playing.
Oh, yes.
So this wasn't a Christmas hit.
Oh
But anyway, this is from Radio 1 Session, live at the Golders Green Hippodrome, March 1999.
This is The Universal from Blur.
This is the next century Where the universal's free You can find it anywhere Yes, the future's been solved Every night we're gone That's a karaoke song
How we like to sing along Though the words are wrong It really, really, really could happen Yes, it really, really, really could happen When the day things seemed to fall through you and John Let them go
No one here is alone Satellites in every home Yes, the universe is here
The paper that you read says tomorrow's your lucky day.
Well, here's your lucky day.
Let them go
There you go, that's the mighty Blur.
Very well done, Blur.
Well done, Dun.
He's a good singer, though, isn't he?
Textination.
Text, text, text.
Textination.
What if I don't want to?
Textination.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
I feel like I'm on the news when that jingle plays because we're stacking papers.
Getting our texts ready and it's an exciting news style jingle.
And now here is Text-A-Nation read by Joe Cornish.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
The subject of this afternoon's Text-A-Nation was ideas that you think you had before anyone else.
I've just been going silent quite a lot this morning.
It's my new trick.
Well it's not necessarily yours, that's an idea that I had before you.
You know I used that last week and now you're all over the going silent before anyone else.
Because of course that's the theme of Texanation this week, it's ideas that you're sure you're convinced you had first before some big company stole it off of you and basically
stole your livelihood that's right stole a potential fortune ripped your future away that's right uh and we got lots of very good ones um i don't know where to start but we'll start here with a text from ellie it says dear adam and joe my husband is adamant that he coined the phrase billy no mates during a phone call with his friend joff in 1988
I fear he is sadly delusional.
Perhaps your listeners could offer proof of use of this phrase in print or other media prior to 1988.
I like that because on the one hand it's very broad, Billy No-Mates, but on the other hand she provides the name of the person who was being called and the year so that, you know, within reason it's checkable.
But if it was applied to a specific person actually called Billy,
Yes.
Then doesn't that slightly- You think there's like a, like a, like an actual Billy, who was the first Billy to have that used against- Is that not what she's implying?
Uh, no, because it was a phone call with his friend, Joff.
Oh, okay, sorry, sorry, I misunderstood.
It should have been Joffy Nomates.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, well, that's quite possible.
If anyone can find evidence of the use of that phrase before 1988- Don't bother about it.
Keep it to yourself.
Here's another one from Lisa in Stockton on tur-ties.
While picking up a particularly soft dog poop.
It was my dogs in bracket.
I invented in my mind dog poo freeze spray, but did nothing about it.
I was in a pet shop last weekend there on the shelf next to poo pickup bags.
Neither Adam or I have dogs.
This is a world we don't really know or understand, but some of you out there do and you go around picking up their nonsense, their pops.
On the shelf next to poo pick up bags was my product called only freeze spray.
Right.
There you go.
Poofries.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
I mean, that's a little bit like the plot for a whole film, which is about this very thing, which was not a very successful film with who is the director of Tin Men?
Barry Levinson.
Barry Levinson.
He did a thing with Jack Black, all about someone who and it was Jack Black and... Was it called Evil?
No, it was Envy or something or something like that.
Envy.
It was called Envy.
Was it Ben Stiller even?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one of the... Floppo.
One of them invents a spray that just vaporizes dog poo.
And then the other one reckons that he had the idea first of all.
And they go off and one of them makes a million.
Anyway, it's all about this very thing.
Here's one that I like for its simple brevity and power.
It's an anonymous one.
I developed the idea for Die Hard many years ago before it came out.
But hey, I'm not bitter Tim, painting his house and cursing Bruce Willis.
Yeah, I developed the idea for Die Hard.
Don't matter though.
What do you mean developed the idea for Die Hard?
I wonder what the idea- well, presumably it was- What about a film with a bloke, divorced from his wife, going to visit her, get the papers signed.
She gets kidnapped by terrorists at the office party.
Call it something like Nakatami Towers.
Yeah.
And, uh, the terrorists- Yeah, never mind.
They sneak in there and, uh, it says Yippee-ki-yay, motherfrundler.
That's his catchphrase.
That's your cup of tea.
Well done Tim.
You must be gutted about that.
You must be gutted.
Here's an idea that I had a long time ago right and I swear I've got I've got the drawings to prove this when I was 12 I was thinking you know an obvious thing that doesn't exist in the world is a utensil that is a combination of a spoon and a fork.
All you have to do is you have a spoon but on one side of the spoon there are ridged fork
like prongs, you know what I mean, so that you have the benefits of both the spoon and the fork.
I was gonna call it the foon.
That's where I went wrong, because of course now that exists.
You go to a camping shop and it's easy to find a spork.
Every every camping shop will have a spork.
I invented them.
Well, some ideas are kind of obvious is the wrong word, but like conjoined words or a simple juxtaposition of two things that already exist.
Yeah.
A lot of people will have the idea.
That's right.
Happens a lot in art and, you know, writing and stuff, doesn't it?
Just a dramatic idea.
But the successful people are the people that go out and actually act on it.
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
So we'll have some more of your texts about ideas that you had first, uh, coming up later on in the show.
Uh, but right now here are the, uh, I, how do you pronounce it?
Is it scatter lights or scar to lights?
Scatter lights.
Okay.
With ball of fire.
I've been waiting for you.
so so
Adam and Joe's on sixth music.
Have you ever been impressed By your friends from New York and London?
How have all accusations like the press Till you realise that you've dressed yourself in time?
Because a man sneaks, a man sneaks A foul of greed, a foul of greed A man sneaks, a man sneaks
What you say or how you dress I'm a mess So you've always seen in balance But really, this all seems quite meaningless When I remember that you never seem to see The faster mess needs, mess needs A final greed, a final greed A mess needs, mess needs A war stone means
Just don't agree Just don't agree with a man's needs I've been all rest I've never been impressed
You never seem to see it Yeah, it's just the man-snakes, man-snakes A fire of greed, a fire of greed Man-snakes, man-snakes Are washed on me
You say a mask needs, mask needs, a plot to me I don't agree, a mask needs, oh
Mmm.
That's that's Cribs.
Is it just Cribs or The Cribs?
No, it's The Cribs and it's called Men's Needs.
Men's Needs.
I would have listened to that a bit closer if I'd known that was what it was called.
He doesn't really... I've got needs.
Yeah, I do too.
I need men's.
Yeah, exactly.
So do I. I need men's.
And that's from the album Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever.
Whatever.
Whatever.
That's good, man.
I enjoyed that.
The Cribs.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
We've got a whole load of exciting things going on that you, the listeners, can get involved with.
It's true, isn't it?
There's almost too much.
There's Text the Nation on the theme of ideas that you think you've had that other people have stolen.
There's Song Wars coming up, which we want your votes for.
You can choose the theme of next week's Song Wars.
Oh my Lord.
You can suggest a theme for next week's Text the Nation.
Yeah.
It's so interactive, I almost wonder why we bother coming in.
I do too.
Do you too?
Yes I do too.
Yes I do too.
I do do too.
We're going to be launching, launching, we're going to be launching later on and we thought maybe you could come along but also we're going to be launching this week's Song Wars in just a second or rather we're going to be, I'm confused
Don't worry, man.
It's confusing because we're about to play a Kate Nash song and it's sending out weird nuclear waves of oddness.
Hey, before the Kate Nash song, let me tell you a little story.
OK.
OK?
I'm going to tell her all story in this voice.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
This is something that happened to a friend of mine.
I'm going to change all the names just in case of sensitivity.
But let's call them Oscar and Leo, OK?
My friend Oscar
He, about seven, eight years ago, he was walking along the street one day in London town and he saw a kind of sale going on in some groovy part of town of Camden somewhere like that and there was some an artist just selling his some crappy little t-shirts and bits of paintings and stuff that he'd done on bits of wood and cardboard and
Anyway, he snapped one of them up because he thought it was sort of funny.
Can you tell where this is going?
It's gonna be amazingly valuable.
Well, it was a spray-on thing of like... It's Banksy.
It's Banksy.
It's the bankster.
He bought a sort of a little piece of Banksy for his mate, Leo, and it was... He paid about 80 quid for it, and he gave it to Leo as a birthday present about eight years ago.
Anyway, Leo had it valued the other day because, of course, Banksy's in the news now.
How much do you reckon?
From 80 quid.
This is just a little... Well, tens of thousands, I imagine.
How big is it?
It's small.
It's like a tiny, crappy little thing.
It's literally on a piece of old rubbish.
Well then, probably not tens.
At his LA exhibition, they were selling for, you know, hundreds of thousands, weren't they?
50,000 pounds.
50 grand from an 80 quid investment in a little, little bit of Banksy.
Wow.
How cool is that?
And here's the nice part of the story, right?
Because this is when you get into, uh, you know, it could have been me territory.
What's that film with, um, Nick cage.
Yeah.
It could happen to you.
Yeah.
Anyway, Leo, uh, found out how much it was worth and now he's going to split the money with, um, Oscar who gave it to him.
Isn't that nice?
Just write down the real names.
50-50, I'll tell you the real names while we're listening to Kate Nash.
Not you, me.
This is pumpkin soup.
You're talking to me like we connect But I don't even know if we're still friends It's so confusing Understanding you is making me not want to do The things that I know I should do But I trip fast and then I lose And I hate looking like a fool I just want your
The lights are on and someone's home But I'm not sure if they're alone There's someone else inside my head Living there to fill me with dread This paranoia is distressing And I spend most of my nights guessing Are we not, are we together?
Will this make our lives much better?
I'm not in love I just wanna be in touch
I hope that you
Kate Nash with a track called Pumpkin Soup.
Is that really called Pumpkin Soup?
Yeah, that's confusing, isn't it?
It is.
She doesn't sing about pumpkin soup.
Or did I miss it?
No, it's all about wanting someone's kiss.
Yeah, that's not bad.
It's slightly less irritating than the last one.
That's very nice.
A little bit of damning with faint praise there.
Well, you know, I'm just acknowledging some people's feelings because it's very catchy.
Yeah.
But sometimes things that are catchy in a simple way become irritating.
That's right.
Even though they have innate goodness.
They just get overplayed.
Like us.
yeah yeah yeah um there we go uh listen i've just got an important uh email from Joel Hughes who sent in the suggestion for my song right last week it says morning it's Joel Hughes here from last week's song wars just woke up did we win
Oh, Joel, man, we didn't.
Sorry to say, Joel, but you were trounced.
We were trounced.
75% to 25%.
James Rohan, Neanderthal Man won.
But now we have an entirely new set of songs for you in this week's Song Wars.
Play dat jingle.
You didn't warn Ben about that, did you?
Sorry, I didn't warn Ben.
I threw him there.
Adam just pointed at him as if he was going to set it going.
Here we go.
Yes indeedy and this week or rather last week we told you that did we I can't remember it's so confusing no no no this week the songs were about they had to incorporate the following elements you had to be a sincere yes because we were having a discussion about how both Adam and I tended to sort of wrap up
songs because we were a bit embarrassed about actually singing or do silly voices and stuff yeah in a sincere way so we decided that this week's song we'd both try and sing in a sincere way so we had to pick a subject that we could be sincere and passionate about and that subject is global warming yeah climate change and that kind of thing and also the other element because we were listening to that Peter Bjorn and John track what's it called again young folks there you go
With the wonderful whistling there and we thought that's the way to get a hit.
You know we've got to get some whistling So it had to be sincere it had to be about climate change, and it had to incorporate whistling How do you think you've done on those three elements there Joe?
I don't know.
I'm not that confident this week.
How's the sincerity?
The sincerity's... it's... I don't know, man.
You be the judge of that.
It's very difficult, isn't it?
I mean, even trying to be sincere.
My lyrics about global warming, about climate change, are pretty much from the heart.
And I was thinking back, like, they're sort of embarrassing because they're so stupid.
Stupid?
But I am a bit stupid.
Do you try and sing?
I'm really trying to sing my knackers off.
So anyway, shall we play the songs?
Who wants to go first this week?
Do you want to go first?
I'll go first.
What the hell?
Yeah, this is my song.
It's just called the Global Warming Song.
I'm no good with naming the songs.
No, mine is called Sincere Whistling Eco Song.
That's more imaginative than my title.
And this is kind of in the style of the kings of convenience.
Right.
yeah so it's kind of ballady and noodley it has some whistling um uh and it's also got the the sound of a distressed polar bear oh i thought about polar bears did you yeah i've got a lyrical nod uh so this is this is my track this is called the the global warming song
no no no no Ben stop stop Ben that's the wrong one oh that could have been disastrous if you got the right one now okay this is this is my song Joe's song it's called the the global warming song the world is dying the world is dying in a couple of years we will all be frying extreme weather speed
I saw that documentary.
Journal 4 is gratuitously provocative.
Blue Peter, Ant and Tech, who can we trust anymore?
No, it's confusing It's the fact that it's sunny A good thing or a bad thing The Kyoto Protocol is calling, calling, calling Thanks a lot Tony Blair But the limits the government set are so low It's appalling, appalling, appalling
still rising and the polar bears feel pain
There we are, that's the Global Warming song.
Wow, that's good man.
I've got a few of those themes in there, lyrically.
I bet.
I didn't go for Al Gore though, I tried to hold myself back on that one.
Madeley, what's Madeley done?
Madeley does the extreme weather programme, he profits from global warming.
While the world suffers, he's coining it.
You have raised your game there man.
Do you think?
You have raised... That took me less time than any other song.
No, did it?
That's my favourite one of all the ones you've done.
I really phoned that one in.
That was good.
I'm in trouble.
Do you think?
I'm in a little bit of trouble.
It doesn't bode well.
But I've gone, musically I've gone in a totally different direction though.
You're gonna need to really put some volume beef into this Ben.
And mine is called the sincere whistling eco song.
Check it out.
People look around you cause your home is disappearing People stop your whistling cause time is running out Can you forgive me baby what have I done You know I never meant to hurt you and I'm not the only one I was flying to the beach I was driving just for fun Won't you listen to me whistle while I'm dying in the sun People stop your whistling and think about the climate
The polar bears are drowning and the seas are rising up And all because we like to drink out of a plastic cup The world will be a desert, or maybe under ice I can't remember which it is, but it will not be nice There might be time if we change our ways for waste At least that's what the scientific community says Although it is confusing, cause sometimes we disagree But changing our behavior should be good for you and me So, people stop your whistling and think
the kids
It ends very low down.
That's some orchestral strings in there.
Did you put the backing track together or is that one that comes packaged in?
No, that was the little, I think it's called Island Reggae.
That was pre-packaged.
The rest of it, that's original Buxton skills.
Really?
One of the many things I liked about that was that the lyrics and whistling just stopped for quite long periods.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was good, man.
Thank you.
It showed a confidence, and both of us hitting there, the rising sea levels and the polar bears, obviously one of both of our chief concerns.
And also, you know, talking about the fact that there is still a little controversy, there's no controversy about the fact that the climate is changing, but scientists are still disagreeing on key points.
So listen, your job, please, it's not really a job, we're asking you, please, please do it, help us, Doctor, is to text and let us know which of those songs you think is the better one.
Text 64046 during the show, vote Adam or Joe, or while the song's off, if you're listening to this, what?
While the show's off, if you're listening to this on Listen Again, you can email AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
Yes, there you go.
Now, do we have time for another track before the news?
Yes, okay.
Joe, this is one that I think you chose.
Well, that's nice.
A bit of Cheap Trick.
Yeah, this is great.
This is from my favourite film ever, Over the Edge, directed by Jonathan Kaplan.
It's by an American band from the 70s called Cheap Trick and it's called Surrender.
She also told me stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch.
Just the other day I heard of a soldier smiling on some Indonesian junk that's going on.
Before we married mommy served in the wax in the Philippines Now I have heard the wax recruited old maids for the war But mommy isn't one of those I've known her all these years Mommy's alright
Into all the seasons Losers of the year
Cheap Trick with Surrender, this is Adam and Jo on BBC 6 Music, it's time for the news, read by Ruth Barnes and Harvey Cook.
And in 6 Music News, you too in surprise London appearance, Winehouse pulls it off and Alicia Keys reigns supreme.
BBC News, just after 10.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
So after 11 years as Australian PM, it looks like the premiership of John Howard is over.
The Labour Party says it's won the country's general election.
Mr Howard's also facing a tight race to hold onto his parliamentary seat in Sydney.
He's lost support over the war in Iraq and his refusal to back the Kyoto agreement on climate change.
Nicholas Stewart's written a biography of the Labour leader Kevin Rudd.
which exceeds the underlying discontent.
What Kevin Rudd did was bring them all together.
He had a new image and he's just had a very conservative image actually, but people talk about him as the Australian version of Tony Blair.
Next on Six Music there's a warning that 400,000 households could be pushed into fuel poverty this winter.
One of Britain's largest independent energy brokers is predicting a 10% rise in the cost of gas and electricity because of rising oil prices.
Alan Asher from the independent consumer watchdog Energy Watch is concerned energy companies could use such warnings to boost prices.
There is no excuse for
Energy Watch will certainly be campaigning to prevent this.
The suppliers have still got all of that money from the price reductions last year that we haven't seen.
They're not going to get any more without a fight.
A 19-year-old has been arrested after a schoolboy died in a hit and run in Southampton.
The 11-year-old was struck just after five o'clock last night.
He died on the way to hospital.
At least 15 people have been killed in two suicide bomb attacks in the Pakistani city of Rawpindi.
One bomber destroyed a bus full of defence ministry employees, while the other targeted an army checkpoint.
The biggest shareholder in the troubled bank Northern Rock has said it will reject any takeover, which doesn't reflect the proper value of the bank's shares.
RAB Capital wants all shareholders to have a vote on any proposal to sell more than 5% of the bank's assets.
In sport, the former Real Madrid and AC Milan boss Fabio Capello has been explaining why he wants to be the next England manager.
He reckons it would be a challenge to manage a national side, as the job is not about coaching every day.
In the Premier League, the leaders Arsenal play Wigan this afternoon at the Emirates Stadium.
Bolton take on Manchester United at the Reebok.
In the SPL, leaders Celtic play Aberdeen.
Rangers are away to full Kirkdale with six music needs for Ruth Barnes.
U2 turned up at their Mencap Little Noise gigs at the Union Chapel in London last night.
The gig featured We As Scientists, Biffy Clyro and The Courtineers, but fans who turned up early were taken by surprise when Bono and The Edge took to the stage to play acoustic versions of four tracks.
These fans were blown away.
It was good that they played back hits like that.
It was a bit of a crowd pleaser for everyone.
It was amazing.
Absolutely awesome.
I can't believe they were here.
Total shock.
I mean, there can't be many people in the world who've seen U2 play in such a small venue.
I think it makes you realise how good they actually are when you see them in this kind of environment because, you know, they hit every note perfectly.
He's got an absolutely amazing voice.
Quite amazed.
I didn't think it was them at first because they've never actually been that close.
In other 6music news this morning, Amy Winehouse managed to hold it together for the latest date of her UK tour.
The South London gig was just hours after she found out her husband will spend Christmas in Pentonville prison as he was refused bail.
One fan, Michelle, told the BBC she loved the gig.
I thought she was absolutely amazing.
She has quality, she's done with passion, she's emotional.
It was brilliant.
It was a really amazing performance.
Finally, Alicia Keys reigns supreme in the American charts.
Her song No One knocked Chris Brown's Kiss Kiss off the top of the singles chart, and she's also currently number one in the albums chart with her album As I Am.
That's six music news on Xplosions at 11.30.
BBC 6 music.
Closer to the music that matters.
and Joe on 6music.
If I'm a listing boat for the thing carries every hoe I invest in a single line
The train, there's no prior use of searchin' for what's remainin' The raw consequences sigh and the cheerless part of me will say
Sliding off the land on an incidental tie And along the way you know they tried, they tried We got sea legs and a raft tonight And a bat to which they've arrived You belong to a simpler time I'm a victim to the impact of the
Searching for the monster in your man hand hands Throw all the consequences aside And I cheer this fire with the sand alive
Searching for the ones who remain at hand Throw all consequences up Never tear this fire, leave it satellite
There you go, that's the Shins with Sea Legs.
That's going to be their new single released on December the 3rd from their album, Wincing the Night Away, which you should really get if you haven't got already.
Whatting the night away?
Wincing.
Wincing?
Yeah.
Wincing.
How do you wince the night away?
Yeah, you just go, oh dear, oh dear.
You just wander around going, ooh.
Why, because you're in the company of embarrassing people?
Yeah, I would say so.
It's socially awkward, you know?
Sounds a bit aloof of the shins.
They are a little bit aloof.
Are they?
I mean, they spend the whole evening wincing at other people's behaviour.
That's what they're going to be doing.
They're going to be going around going, oh, I don't belong here.
I'm a creep.
I'm a weirdo.
What am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
You know, it's a classic theme for the indie pop stars.
It's true.
But what an amazing song and what a fantastic band.
You should... That's one of the... It's one of my albums of the year, Joe.
Is it really?
Yeah, yeah, wincing an Ironwood.
It's text the nation time thanks to everybody who's been texting in we're gonna catch up with some of your texts about ideas You believe have been stolen from you or that you had first and then have appeared Sponsored and marketed by someone else who's coining the cash that should be yours.
This is one from Richard flight And he's in the climbers shop
Did we have someone else texting from the climbing shop?
He was the web guy from the climbers shop before who texted I think.
Well we're reading out another one from him then.
Okay.
Hi Adam and Joe on the subject of having ideas before they were popular when I was a kid the wallpaper in my parents toilet the room not the toilet itself papers a toilet
No, exactly.
...was a repetitive pattern of some flower or other.
I happened to notice one day that if you weren't focusing on the wall itself, they sometimes all converged and started to look three-dimensional.
I thought at the time how cool that was, and I used to do it a lot whilst revealing myself.
I even tried to make some drawings that did the same thing and became three-dimensional.
Well, obviously I was just a kid, didn't have a fully formed marketing plan, so forgot about it.
Lo and behold, a few years later, magic eye pictures were all the rage.
Magic eye.
every kid had one on their bedroom wall and every spare person was selling them on street corners damnation that's right that's a nice way of categorizing the people that sell things like that as well what spare people well he didn't use the word people he used a word that i'm not sure i can say on radio almost certainly not that's a good one thanks for that yeah uh dean mitchell from trobridge the gateway to the gateway to bath
Whose phone was that?
Don't think it was mine.
Mine just buzzes.
Oops.
Dean says, I was the first person in the world to attach card with pegs to my rally tomahawk and latterly my chopper.
It made a clicking noise which sounded a bit like a moped but not really.
You're insane.
People have been doing that since the 50s for goodness sake.
Do you think?
Yes.
Dean reckons it was him.
It wasn't you Dean.
But that's a good example of someone with an inflated sense of significance.
Yeah.
Wouldn't you say?
Yeah, definitely.
Here's what David Oldham offers us, or his name's Dave, offers us three ones.
Here's my favourite of the three.
My brother has been known to write short stories in the postmodern slash Paul Auster style.
I wouldn't know what that was.
You've never read any Paul Auster?
No.
New York trilogy, wasn't that his?
Does he write for Heat magazine?
No.
Oh, in that case I'm not familiar with it.
He can't.
He can't.
He sends them stuff but they will not publish it.
They won't do it.
He's brilliant.
He writes really clever stuff.
Uh huh.
And you should read a book.
I'm going to go and find one of them.
Where do you find these books?
Stations.
Stations?
Train stations.
Yeah.
I'm going to go to a train station.
He writes kind of very kind of intellectual, you know, postmodern but brilliant, really good stories and always profoundly meaningful and amazing connections and stuff about tramps who are actually millionaires and that sort of business.
Is it like Roald Dahl?
It's like the Channel 4 series The Secret Millionaire.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
He once told me the outline of a story he was working on.
It was about a girl who is ignored by friends and colleagues.
After being ignored for so long, she eventually becomes invisible.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
That is good.
uh he's she's sort of erased by people ignoring her right yeah he'd got the whole thing planned out he was going to write it up he looked gutted when i told him that what he just described was an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer yeah i know that he can't have nicked it from Buffy because his girlfriend considers Buffy porn and won't let him watch it
Quite right that is very frustrating when you have that that kind of synchronous thing You're just not aware of the fact that this is going on in the world already.
I remember when I was at college.
I Was doing a lot of kind of goofy parodies of the news and it was all about the delivery of the news You know the way news readers remember that pre day-to-day.
Yeah, and and
And then, of course, I wasn't listening to the radio at the time, but if I had been, I would have known that Chris Morris and Amanda Iannucci were doing the radio version of the day-to-day, which was called On The Hour, and that was pointed out to me by my tutor at college, who suggested that I equate myself with what was going on in the world, and of course they were doing it slightly better.
Oh dear.
Here's another one from Kerry McNabb.
Uh.
Dear Adam and Joe, firstly it's marvellous to hear you on the airwaves again.
Just had to read that for now.
That's nice innit.
But I have to rant.
My flatmate and I had the idea for the film Run Fat Boy Run way before Peg came up with it.
We not only wrote our idea down but also cast it as well.
Then lo and behold it was made without our consultation which is rude.
This is like the lady who was on Dragon's Den the other day.
with her bizarre film idea yeah you know see they cast it as well what they were going to cast peg swimmer didn't swimmer come up with that peg rewrote the script i'm not sure that the peg came up with the actual idea it was set in america then then he wrote rewrote it for england right but uh yeah that's frustrating i haven't seen run fat boy run have you no still haven't seen it it was it did very well didn't extremely well it's the peg factor man he's gold that guy he's gold everything he touches yeah there you go
So we have a few more of these a bit later on, we'll wrap that up in a second.
But right now, here is the Queens of the Stone Age.
This reminds me that we haven't replied to Zane's invitation yet, have you?
Zane Lowe's party invitation?
No.
He's gonna be anxious.
This is one of his favourite bands.
My email's been down, that's my excuse.
Anyway, here's Queens of the Stone Age, enjoy it.
I just can't recall what started off or how to begin the end I ain't here to break you to see how far it will bend Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
The same is different, mostly it's the same These mysteries of life, that just ain't my thing If I told you that I knew about the sun and the moon
That's the Queens of the Stone Age with Make It Whit Chew.
Does that mean Chewbacca?
Yes, it does.
He wants to make love to Chewbacca.
Wants to have a little hairy snog with a wookie.
Yeah, I wouldn't go further than a snog because they're violent animals.
Their mating habits are quite bizarre.
I don't even want to think about the implications.
I wouldn't, but take it from me.
They have to shampoo all over afterwards.
Yeah, yeah.
A wookie.
Now, Joe, I know that you're not a fan of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
Hmm, that's true.
Despite the fact that, you know, Ant and Dec presented.
It's true, they're brills.
I love Ant and Dec, you know?
I do my best to dislike them because it seems to be like that's what a sort of cynical person would do.
But I can't do it because they're good, man.
I like them.
They're amusing.
I chuckle at all their lame gags.
They do a good job on that program.
Do you remember I ran into them in Los Angeles earlier in the year?
Did you?
Yeah.
In a restaurant.
How was that?
Which one's which?
Ant is the taller of the two with a slightly more dome-like head.
He looked depressed.
Yeah.
He didn't say much.
He fixed me with a slightly surly gaze.
Did he?
The other one... Dec, Declan.
Was really lovely.
I'm not saying that that's their characters but just at that particular moment.
Yes.
Tall ones seemed quite tired.
I think Ant is more volatile I get the impression.
They were sitting in silence.
Well, I'm sure they're talked about.
The restaurant was quite empty and they were sat there in complete silence.
Like a married couple.
With a blonde lady.
Probably like what you and me would be like if we were in LA in a restaurant.
What would we say to each other?
We'd be excited.
We'd be unwrapping DVDs and stuff.
Flicking through mags.
Anyway anyway wasn't that in the deck that I was going to talk about and I'm sure that you know everybody's been talking about this if they have been watching the show but Mark Bannerman I didn't even know who this guy was last week but you remember I mentioned the fact that I was concerned for his girlfriend because there was a burgeoning romance on the program between EastEnders star as I now understand that he is Mark Bannerman and Keris Matthews former singer of Catatonia who's been on the show and they were flirting like nobody's business for the first week out there
And it was really sort of pretty sexy, steamy stuff.
Nothing actually happened, okay?
Nothing more extremely physical than a hug here and there, but there were some very lingering looks going on.
And you could really tell that they felt something intense was happening.
Intense and spiritual was going on.
And of course the program makers edited it to make it look like it was more or less a done sexy deal.
Yeah.
So I was worried for the girlfriend of Mark Bannerman.
I don't think Keras is in a relationship at the moment.
But Mark Bannerman was.
I was thinking, man, this guy is going to pay the price when he gets out.
Sure enough, this week he was the first to be booted out.
And not waiting for him there was his girlfriend, who had flown out a few days before.
Not waiting for him.
She didn't show up.
She'd gone out to Australia a few days before.
But while she was on the plane,
Things had got even steamier.
So when she arrived in Australia, she was confronted with a load more steamy footage.
What sort of thing had been happening?
The looks had got even more lingering the tone ain't gone in the hole.
No.
No, there was no whole toad action It was just that it was the writing was very much on the wall, you know And he was even saying to the other members of the camp, you know, I think I'm in real trouble I think I'm really in so many words.
He was saying I think I'm falling in love with her, you know the Welsh songstress Yeah with the pop stroll
I'm never gonna say pops drill again in good But you know at first when when his girlfriend turned up I think she's called Sarah at the airport, and there was loads of paparazzi round her all snapping away She seemed fairly upbeat to the extent that I thought maybe it's not even a real relationship.
You know what I mean, maybe maybe He was just saying like
Look, pretend to me like my girlfriend.
It's all a sham.
It's a panto.
And you can come out and whisper to the contestants, but I don't think that's true.
I think she just didn't realise how steamy it had gotten.
Anyway, by the time he was ejected, she had left.
She had got on a plane and gone back.
She wasn't having any more of it.
So he gets out of the show and sits down with that and deck to have the prosprandial chat and have the glass of champagne and look back at some clips and be all upbeat about it.
And he's like, where's Sarah?
And they said, she's flown back.
And he was absolutely ashen faced, mortified to the extent that he couldn't really indulge in any of the banter.
He couldn't do anything.
They were saying, so give us some gossip from the campus.
Like, mate, I can't, I can't, I've embarrassed her.
I've embarrassed myself.
So they had to fill like half an hour of telly.
They had to do a little bit of filling.
They had lots of packages they could throw to, but the packages compounded his mortification because he saw the way he'd come across.
And I've never seen anything so viscerally real on TV for quite some time.
This guy was totally destroyed.
In terms of his emotional reaction.
Yeah, I felt bad for him.
I mean, obviously he'd behaved like a bit of a prat.
in some ways but on the other hand he didn't he was clearly gutted and he not only that but the weeks were stretching ahead of him the idea that not only could he not enjoy the the hotel and everything that's laid on for them out there he had to get right back on the plane and head back to what was gonna be a pretty miserable time yeah do some serious Patch Adams work and then later on I went over to ITV2 and they had Matt Willis from Busted who won last year presenting
And he got a little interview with Mark Bannerman.
But Matt Willis was in no way equipped to deal with the raw levels of emotion.
So he was saying, so how was it?
And he's like, mate, I can't even talk to you now.
I've got, I've got to get on a plane.
I've got a phone call to make.
I'm in real trouble.
He's like, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, funny stories or anything.
I can't look, I just can't.
And Matt Willis was totally in trouble because the rawness was too intense.
I've got to see that.
I've got to YouTube that.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a pretty extraordinary moment.
Anyway, there you go.
Now, here's a track from the Fall that I've chosen for you listeners after that long diversion into the jungle.
I hope you enjoy.
This is from their album, The Unutterable, and they're never less than interesting, The Fall.
And sonically, aurally, aurally, this is sort of weird for The Fall, very electronic-y.
but I like it particularly because it ends with Mark E. Smith sort of reading from what appears to be an article about the DJ Pete Tong.
So he starts reading out little facts about Pete Tong from this article about what he carries around with him in his purse or whatever, to the extent that he sort of cracks himself up while he's reading it.
Hope you enjoy.
This is called Dr. Buck's Letter by the Fall.
Boxer, my trigger, I'd rather ruin my life
Doctor Box the letter On my own making I walk a dark corridor of my heart Hoping one day a door will be ajar
At least so we can recompense our betrayal of our hard-won friendship in vulgar and arrogant abeyance to what was untrue underneath our palates.
I open the envelope
Dr. Buck's letter Real welfare benefits report
Jay McCathy on approximately 10, 15 days.
I got down.
I was depressed.
It was...
Dr. Buck's letter.
Cheer myself up.
Put the radio on.
Get the magazine out.
And read about the essence of formula.
Checklist.
I never leave home without one sunglasses.
I wear them all year around and seem to need them more often.
Here's a habit.
Music.
Cassettes.
CDs.
Three Palm Pilots.
It's my lifeline.
I think it's my PA's computer.
She runs my diary and I download it.
Four, mobile phone.
Five, Amex card.
They made such a fuss about giving it to me, but I spent more time getting it turned down.
I was in the realm of the essence of tongue.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC 6 Music.
Closer to the music that matters.
Adam and Joel on 6 Music.
Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist
Do you reckon that they might come take a note?
That says that we are defenders Of any poser Or professional Pretender around When did your list Replace the twist and turn like a fist Replace the kiss, don't cancel
You're getting thicker Let's have a game on a teddy picker Not big enough, can't have it quicker Already thick and you're getting thicker
Very exciting.
Arctic Monkeys with a track called Teddy Picker.
Do you remember when we first heard about the Arctic Monkeys?
You came into the studio when we were back at XFM and you had an article that you'd cut out and you said, look at this, these guys, can you believe there's a band called the Arctic Monkeys?
Did I?
Yeah.
And you said, I've been reading all this hype about them.
I'm sick of them already.
I haven't even heard a bit of their music yet.
Yeah.
And we were both pouring scorn all over the notion.
We were stupid.
We were stupid because they turn out to be wickles.
What a couple of idiots.
Wickle-wockles.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, there you go.
It is a bad name for a band though, still.
I like it.
Do you?
Yeah.
You got used to it now.
They don't exist.
They couldn't survive in the Arctic.
I thought they were Arctic monkeys.
They do exist.
They can survive in the Arctic.
Maybe not in the Arctic, but, like, I'm thinking of that film, is it... I like to say The Sea.
Power Cut Sea.
Arctic.
Arctic.
More fun to say that way.
Yeah, it's nice and hard in there.
Powakatsi or one of those films.
No, it's, it's, uh, uh, Boraku.
Buraka.
Boraka.
You know, it's one of the films about, with long shots of sunsets and people on escalators and stuff.
Yeah, Powakatsi and Koinaskatsi.
I think it's Boracá, the tree people or whatever it was.
That's got a monkey with ice on its head and it's in a lake that's peeking out of the freezing.
Borat should do a film like that.
That's a good idea.
Boratzkan Kowalski.
He'd just be wandering around in like Mexican salt mines.
Are there salt mines in Mexico?
We can find some for you.
Aye, we don't know what we're talking about.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music.
We should probably wrap up Text-A-Nation now.
Could we just have a Text-A-Nation jingle one more time there?
This is an email sent from GP.
What?
From your GP?
His name's Giles Pocklington but he shortens it to GP.
He's a GP?
Yeah.
Here we go.
Number one.
The hard drive video recorder.
I told my mum about my great idea when I was 13, 23 years ago.
Maybe my mum sold her son's idea to Enormocorp, but I haven't experienced any trickle down yet.
Wait a second, hard drive video?
So what would his description have been then?
Recording video images onto a computer hard disk.
Yeah.
23 years ago.
23 he reckons.
I think that's a lie.
Because also it would have been meaningless back then.
Did you hear that GP?
GP I'm not having it.
Watson's calling you a liar.
Because what would, I don't understand what your idea would have been because it would have been totally meaningless.
You needed the capacity.
Stop picking a fight with GP.
Back then like a big computer back then was about 200 megabytes of space.
Yeah but you can still come up with a premise.
Yeah, right hold off on your anger.
Here's the second one dog at the yogurt for dogs this started out as a weak joke Actually a spin-off from my cat cheese idea, but that's a good idea But then I thought that dog owners are generally so soppy that they would buy this again Someone has stolen my brainwaves, and he includes a picture of a dog with a four pack of dog It's a you go.
That's a good idea man
You know, and the fact that he says it's a weak joke, self-effacing, admitting, you know, that that weakness, to me, strengthens the probability that the hard disk recorder is true.
I think he's honest with himself.
Maybe he's a visionary like Dr. Nakamats.
Maybe, and you just can't accept it.
Idea number three, I also had an idea about a mesh that could be woven into an aircraft's fuselage, which could tell the pilot if any damage had occurred on the plane.
Based on my own extensive experience of building Lego fighter planes next year it appeared on tomorrow's world And I'd like to say that he puts an apostrophe before the P of plane Which again is attention to detail that to me suggests that this you do that as well.
They put an apostrophe in front English
I'm cool and I think I get on very well with GP GP I believe all of that man GP act on some of these ideas guy for goodness sake the next one do it yeah seriously patent it here's one from Steve banjo
Stevie Banjo.
Stephen Banjo.
Three years ago I was at a lavish corporate drinks stew and ended up chatting to the director of communications for McDonald's.
I got really rather drunk and leery and began telling him that I knew McDonald's marketing strategy at the time was all wrong mate.
All about trying to convince us how healthy McD's was.
They do salads, low assault content etc etc rubbish.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
It's not healthiness that'll get your average middle-class taxpayer into Mickey D's, I said.
It's quality.
People don't expect a burger to be healthy.
They just want it made out of proper meat.
Okay?
So instead of trying to convince us it's healthy, which will never work, just add a completely premium burger to the menu, I argued.
You could get Aberdeen Angus steak, even.
You've got the supply chain, the contacts, the farmers, the marketing, the outlets, everything you need.
It'd be easy.
All you do is buy good steak meat,
Cook it properly, slap it on the menu for £5.99.
If you just had that one burger on the menu, I'd go to McDonald's.
You can call it, I said in a moment of inspiration, the McAngus.
And they have one!
yeah he didn't listen to me but one year later I was walking down Queensway and was arrested by a massive banner in the window of McDonald's but I'm having to skip bits that are quite rude about McDonald's right no it's in Burger King the butt in the window of Burger King knew that Angus burger made with Aberdeen Angus steak meat there you go so Mickey D didn't even pay attention when a gift horse was looking him in the mouth he probably mentioned it drunkenly to the Burger King guy right at one of the secret burger meetings
got wasted and he was staggering over the muck Bohemian Grove he went over to the king and the king was there looking creepy at the ATM or whatever and he just mentioned the Angus idea well you shouldn't be giving ideas to evil corporations you know
Yeah, it's true.
You should be trying to bring them down.
Yeah, like Mark Thomas speaking of which.
Do you see the coke thing?
Here's another one from Peter Green in Seward's End, Saffron Walden.
Dear Adam and Joe, my brother unashamedly claims to have invented the noise and insult that you make when you're challenging someone's mental ability.
You know, the noise you make when you push your tongue into the front of your mouth.
It's called a meh.
It's called the meh.
Below your bottom lip and make the noise.
It's a great relief to him that no money has ever been made from it.
That's quite common, you know, thinking you've thought of a phrase or a joke first.
Like, I'm convinced I thought of Mickey Bubbles for Michel Bublé.
Yes, I think you did too.
But then I saw him hosting the Paul O'Grady show and he was using it himself.
I bet he heard it off you.
Do you think?
Definitely.
Do you think I was the first to say Mickey Bubbles?
Certainly the first that I heard.
I remember when you said that first and I thought, Joe's clever, I like him.
there we go well that's what we do have more we might come back to them if we have any more brilliant ones you can still text six four zero four six or email Adam and Joe dot six music at BBC co dot UK don't forget we're looking for your ideas for song wars next week plus any suggestions for text the nation next week basically just write the show if you want to present it just a call do my I need a cleaner
yeah I need a haircut I need a some kind of nutritionist as well I tell you the other thing I need my emails gone down if anyone could sort that out I phoned up yeah the I like snogging attractive people yeah anyone who wants a snog nude photos that kind of thing yeah and just send us anything that would be ideal right now here is a song this is the first single I ever bought Joe Cornish oh no what's it gonna be it's Kraftwerk with the model
And she's looking good I'd like to take a home that's understood She plays hard to get, she smiles from time to time It only takes a camera to change her mind
To nightclubs drinking just champagne And she has been checking nearly all the mail She's playing her game and you can hear them say
Many of the BBC's radio programmes have podcasts which you can download and listen to wherever and whenever you like.
I am the alpha male.
The Jonathan Ross Podcast from BBC Radio 2.
The men go, you're not putting him on again are you?
And they go, I need something in my life.
This is Five Live.
Mark Camode and Simon Mayo's Film Review Podcast.
A really good, smart, low budget film.
Quote from Steven Spielberg, he said it gave him inspiration for the rest of the year.
Russell Howard and John Richardson on six.
I organise my pants practical, sexy and specific pants.
Do you do that?
I'll put you in the section.
Oh, I can barely put my hand in there.
Download them for free now.
Go to bbc.co.uk slash podcasts.
He comes wide at the heart.
You come with me to the church and the corner of the heart.
Blood, soul, and grace, and the stuff of the cold mountain.
The guilt of hate that has poisoned the screws of the heart.
Hey, what do you say?
Pay yourself for the boys in the band at the heart Keep your tassel too young for the bars at the heart Drive around like fools of ourself and then stop Back next week with another intake to sign up
Right here
There's a magical bird at the house Come with me to that church on the corner of the house Let's have a squirt and let's go cook the corn
you
That's a different version to the one I've got on my greatest hits collection.
I think that might be a live version, might it?
Our notes here say recorded for dot dot dot dot.
So it might be a... Oh, right.
A session thing.
Yeah.
There you go.
That was XTC with Life Begins at the Hop.
And before that, you heard Kraftwerk with the model.
Yeah.
You know, when people say the hop, it reminds me of the Walton hop.
You know what happened there?
Yes we do.
Creepy.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6.
Music.
The station where music matters.
How much though?
A great deal.
What would it do for music?
Anything.
If there was a problem with the music?
It would do its own music.
Yeah.
Would it get in a fight for the music?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
To the death?
Yeah.
Oh my lord.
It's actually a problem.
We wouldn't though would we?
We might have to yeah, cuz we work here scary.
Hey listen this week.
I went to see a film well Thank you very much.
I don't go to the films very often because of the children factor It's very hard to get out of the house But we made it to a special screening of a new film that has a friend of ours in it the film is called no country for old men and it's the new film by the Coen brothers and The friend of ours that's in it is Kelly McDonald when you say we and ours hmm
Who are you talking about?
Me and my beautiful wife.
Okay.
So we went along and checked it out.
It is wicked, man.
Ooh, it is so good.
And I'm not, like, the Coen brothers have had a run of slightly stinky films.
They've had some problems with the Lady Killers.
They had some problems.
I forgot about the Lady Killers.
Yeah, that was so bad it was almost invisible.
Oh my lord.
They did a film that nobody even saw.
There was one with Clooney and Zeta-Jones in it that I saw.
That's the one.
Oh my gosh.
Is it called?
I can't even remember what it was called.
It was just a disgrace.
It was like a sort of romantic screwball comedy.
But they're back on form.
It was shocking.
Back on form in a big way.
In a very big way.
And it's like fairly familiar territory for them.
It's Farconic.
Yeah it's very far gone a lot of thematically similar things going on there and some of the extreme violence you feel as if they've done before but they've certainly put like an amazing new sheen on the whole thing and packed it with enough new flourishes to make it well worth the visit.
Unfortunately he's not in it.
He's not an amazing new sheen.
I was disappointed by the lack of the amazing sheen.
Where's his kids?
Charlie's?
Yeah.
There should be a new generation of Sheens.
There should be.
Absolutely right.
Mr. Sheen.
Mr. Sheen.
Get with it, Charlie.
He's too busy being selfish though, isn't he?
It's true.
To have children.
Anyway, Josh Brolin is in it.
He's sexy.
And there's a guy in it called Javier Bardem.
Are you familiar with him?
Yeah, I'm, yeah.
He's a Spanish actor, right?
What kind of stuff, do you know what he's been in before?
All sorts of films.
He looks like a kind of chunkier, more thick set Antonio Banderas.
Kind of heavily lidded eyes.
He's hot right now.
He's so hot right now.
But he plays this kind of pure psychopathic killer man in this film.
And it's like a classic
villain being born right before your eyes, you know what I mean?
He goes around and his motorcycle around.
Well, some of it's in the trailer.
Okay.
So in the trailer, you see that he goes around and he carries with him an oxygen tank with this sort of air gun thing that's used to kill cattle and stuff like that, you know, they put it up to their foreheads and bang, a bolt comes out and it just kills them instantly.
And this is what this guy uses to dispatch a lot of his victims, right?
That's not new.
Who else has used that?
Michael Haneke's Bennie's video.
Really?
There you go.
Anyway, well, he cuts an amazing figure.
You see this guy walking around.
Does he go around with the oxygen tank in Bennie's video?
No.
No.
well this is what makes it so cool this time and he's also got an amazing mad haircut this guy the Coen brothers have like got this incredibly sinister creepy long fringe haircut it's difficult to describe it looks like a looks like a lady's wig that this guy's wearing almost and he's
They are creeped, aren't they?
And he's a frightening figure.
Anyway, there's a brilliant bit in the film where, after an incredibly exciting and tense shoot-up, where a lot of people get injured, and the injuries are really horrific in this film, you see all the misery of... I'd love to see the misery.
...gunplay.
Joe loves a bit of gunplay misery, where you'll be happy with this, because he gets badly shot in the leg, right?
Ouch.
And there's a great scene, and it's like a sort of... he gets peppered with, you know, shot from a shotgun kind of thing.
and he has to go and operate on himself you see that in itself is brilliant because most movies don't bother with the repercussions of injury yeah but when they do it's always a winner when Rambo has to sew up his big stitch that's right that brilliant bit in what's the Clooney Wharf Iraq war film three kings three kings when they show you the exact
uh anatomy of a gunshot wound do you remember that going into the gut and yeah exactly because really there's enough drama in just being shot once exactly and the subsequent uh debilitation and pain that that would uh but it's it's a brilliant thing i love it in movies when people have to operate on themselves
And this is an all-time classic of self-operation, right?
Javier Bardem sewing up his gunshot wound in No Country for Old Men is just excruciating.
Where is the wound in the leg?
It's in the leg, and he's brilliant because he's got like a real doctor's mind on him.
This guy's really smart, so he knows exactly what to do.
He kind of breaks into a pharmacy, gets all the equipment, then goes home.
I like a sloppy self-operation.
No, he's good, man.
He's good.
And you know, another one that's similar is Ronin.
Do you remember that?
Where De Niro gets a gunshot wound, I think, there as well.
And he has to, he basically has to lie on the table and instruct his mates how to extract the bullet and stuff.
Wow.
And he's, oh, it's really painful.
It's one of my favourite self-operating moments.
Really?
Shall I injure you?
If you could.
You could operate on yourself.
That's what I was working around to.
Shall I do that to you for Christmas?
Yeah, well maybe you could do it to me while we're listening to the pipettes right now.
I'll use this bar.
This is Paul Shapes.
Well, I just wanna freak out I just wanna move I don't care what this song's about It's happening pretty well tonight It's happening and you'll be alright There's a lot more before this Just breathe with me So follow my lead And we're one, two, three, four, six!
Is that a drum beat?
And is the bass beat?
Well, then the rhythm is controlled together
Do you do?
There you go.
That's Paul Shapes by the Pipettes.
It's exciting isn't it?
It's like being tickled by schoolgirls.
It was very upbeat.
Not that I know what it's like being tickled by schoolgirls.
I do and it's exactly like that song.
It's nice.
Very nice.
Hey somebody texted in Steve in Leicester says let's not forget the Swayze moment in Roadhouse where he stitches his own wound.
Brilliant.
I love it.
You know, I can't believe that Joe says he hasn't seen that film.
Not all the way through.
It's my way or the highway.
I've heard of its reputation.
Oh, it's a peach.
Is it really?
Yeah, you can get that film for like £1.50 or something on DVD.
Wow.
It's well worth a look.
That's an enjoyable slice of Swayze right there.
Some of my favourite operation moments in films.
I like the bit in Day of the Dead.
I like an operation where someone wakes up.
Yeah, you know Phil.
I like the bit in Day of the Dead.
It's a zombie so it's not really a person but He's on the table and his guts are open his guts fall I like that bit There's a great German film called autopsy as she's not great.
It's rubbish.
That's all about people being awake during operation
I mean, that is the most horrific thing that you could possibly imagine, isn't it?
When you read stories about people who are conscious during their operations but unable to say anything, so they can hear all the sounds, they don't actually necessarily feel all the pain and everything.
Oh, this is unsuitable for early Saturday morning.
Oh my lord.
Terminator as well.
I mean, he's a robot as well, but there's some very good self-operation in Terminator 1 and 2.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and we mentioned Rambo of course, Total Recall as well.
That kind of counts when he- Stuffing that thing up his nose.
Yeah, we mentioned it the other day, to get the thing out of his brain, the little, the beeper.
It's good, and there's a great beeper moment in No Country for Old Men as well.
It's very good, I'm having a sort of an idea about a group of surgeons.
Uh huh.
Okay, have we got the news?
I'll do the idea after the news.
No, I'm excited- It's a cliffhanger.
I wanna- No wait, it's a cliffhanger, I'll answer the news.
Teasing me about the surgeons- We're gonna make money off of this.
OK, it's coming up to half past eleven here on BBC6 Music.
This is Adam and Joe, half an hour left of our show, but right now here is the news read to you by Harvey Cook.
And in Six Music News, you too, surprise at charity gig and Bondo de Rolle split.
BBC Six Music.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Harvey Cook.
So the Australian Prime Minister John Howard looks to have lost the country's general election.
His liberal coalition has been defeated by the Labour Party led by Kevin Rudd.
Mr Howard's also struggling in his home constituency in Sydney.
He could be the first PM to lose his parliamentary seat since the 1920s.
Graham de Bell is from Radio Australia.
The Prime Minister's been telling everybody for the last couple of weeks that when you change the government you change the country and I think the electorate might have actually taken Mr Howard at his word and decided they wanted to change after 11 and a half years of Mr Howard and they have done it quite decisively.
Next on 6music, 400,000 people are at risk of falling into fuel poverty if gas and electricity prices rise in the new year.
The warning comes from the energy analyst catalyst which monitors fuel prices.
Its operations director, Chris Hurcombe, says it's hard to say when increases in the wholesale price of oil and gas will be passed on to consumers.
If we see a sustained winter period, then supply and demand situation is going to come into effect as well.
So if we have a particularly cold spell that is going to force up that issue, up the rankings, and we could see those price increases coming in early New Year.
A 19-year-old man has been arrested after a schoolboy died in a hit and run accident in Southampton.
The 11-year-old was struck by a car just after five o'clock last night.
He died on the way to hospital.
The hunt follows missing computer CDs with the records of all child benefit claimants continues.
Police have searched the courier company TNT's offices in London last night and will check the firm's other offices in the coming days.
Government figures show car manufacturers failed to trace more than 100,000 potentially defective vehicles last year.
The cars were recalled because of safety concerns.
In sport, former Real Madrid boss Fabio Capello says he'd love the England manager's job.
He reckons it would be a very difficult challenge, but a very exciting one.
In the premiership, Wigan, having just appointed their new boss Steve Bruce, are away to lead his arsenal.
Manchester United, who are level on points with the Gunners face bottom three side.
Bolton, Chelsea face rock bottom derby.
Now, for Six Music News, Ruth Barnes.
You too made a surprise appearance at the Mencap Little Noise gigs at the Union Chapel in London last night.
We Are Scientists Biffy Claro and the Courtineers played acoustic sets, but fans who turned up early were treated to four tracks from Bono and The Edge when they took to the stage.
They finished on a new track called Wave of Sorrow, which they said they wrote 20 years ago.
Fans' opinions were divided.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think it was brilliant, but I can see why it's been sat on the shelf for 20 years.
I really liked that last song.
The lyrics were fantastic.
It's really meaningful.
It's lovely.
It was incredible.
It had such meaning and depth to it.
It was just amazing to hear.
And the story to it as well was just really good to know.
We Are Scientists were due on stage after U2.
Keith told us he was completely in the dark in terms of the special guests.
Man, I'm so out of the loop in general.
I didn't even know, I didn't even know like the actual, I knew you guys were on it, but I had no idea what the actual lineup was.
I just kind of showed up.
I didn't even know there was special guests.
We were like, how about those special guests, huh?
Special guests?
What are you talking about?
Keith from We Are Scientists was talking to the guys from Biffy Clairo.
You can hear what happened when we let them interview each other on the Music Week tomorrow from one o'clock.
Finally, Brazilian funk metalheads Bonde de Rolle have split for now.
In an exclusive interview with Annie Mack last night on Radio One, Gorky confirmed that live dates are cancelled for the foreseeable future and she's pretty upset about it all.
We're having internal problems.
We're trying to sort things out, but meanwhile we're just gonna have to cancel some of the shows.
We're sorting things out right now.
Let me tell y'all what it's like being male, middle class, and white.
It's a bitch if you don't believe.
Listen up to my new CD, Sham on.
I got shit running through my brain.
So intense that I can't explain.
All alone in my white boy pain.
Shaking Rudy while the band
I'm rockin' the suburbs Just like Michael Jackson did I'm rockin' the suburbs He said that he was talented I'm rockin' the suburbs Take the checks and face the facts This old producer with computers Mixes all my s***y tracks
Want people breaking the McDonald's line Mom and Dad, you made me so uptight Got a cuss on the mic tonight I don't know how much I can take Girl, give me something I can break I'm rocking the suburbs Just like Quiet Riot did I'm rocking the suburbs
Take the checks and face the facts Some producer with computers fixes all the shitty tracks
In a haze these days I pull up to the stoplight I can feel that something's not right I can feel someone's blasting me with hate and fangs Sending dirty vibes my way Cause my great-great-great-great-granddad Been someone's great-great-great-great-granddad
Y'all don't know what it's like to be a male middle class and white
what it's like to be a male middle class and white.
Y'all don't know what it's like to be a male middle class and white.
It gets me real pissed off.
It makes me want to say, fuck!
I'm rockin' the suburbs He said that he wants talent I'm rockin' the suburbs I'll take the checks and face the fights He's a producer with computers He fixes all the shit he tries these days Yeah, yeah, I'm rockin' the suburbs
Ben Folds with Rock in the Suburbs.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
We left you on a cliffhanger before the news.
Joe is just about to reveal his amazing idea for a bit of self-surgery film action.
Well, I think we can all agree that it's an exciting component in any feature film when somebody injures themselves and has to operate on it themselves.
A bit of auto-surgery.
So how about going with that idea and kind of building a whole film around it?
My idea is for a film about a group of the world's top surgeons and they're flying in a private jet to a top surgeon conference.
Right.
They fly over some area of the Amazon.
Yeah.
That's inhabited by cannibals.
Oh.
And the plane crashes.
Yeah.
So the top surgeons are stuck in the jungle and they're attacked by the cannibals.
I like it.
uh they're really they're completely vicious they're vicious they're cannibals they attack them in all sorts of new ways injuring them in ways previously unknown the surgeon's surgery skills are pushed to the limit and they're even attacked while they're doing surgery
Some of them are separated.
They've got all their equipment as well.
So we're moving this whole genre beyond the needle and thread, stitching up a wound thing.
It's like brain operations going on on one end of the body simultaneously reattaching a leg while another guy's reattaching the leg of the guy who's reattaching the leg.
And the cannibals are attacking.
He's chewing on the toes.
There's not enough cameras to cover the action.
It's in IMAX.
Digital DTS.
It's amazing.
I like it.
I like it.
It's got a deal.
It's a bit like Alive meets Cannibal Holocaust.
Yes.
Maybe that would be the pitch.
Yes.
Meets What's a Good Surgeon film.
uh can't think of any sammy the surgeon i had another idea for a film this week about a uh like a stuntman uh and he gets in he's a very famous stuntman he gets infected by a virus uh it's called resident evil kenevil
And he gets infected with a zombie virus.
But this makes him a more famous stuntman, because he can do amazing stunts.
And it doesn't matter, because he's immortal, he's a zombie.
But his manager has a tough time, because he keeps trying to eat everybody.
Wait a second, isn't that a bit, what was the dreadful Nic Cage film, Ghost Rider?
Yeah, not the same.
It's got a little bit of that in it though.
It's not one I will pursue because it's derivative of Hot Rod and there's an Australian film called The Devil Made Me Do It About a Stuntman.
It's too similar to a lot of other stuff out there.
It's good stuff though, you've sorted with the surgeons.
It's good enough for a radio link.
We need a title for the surgeon's film though.
We couldn't think of anything immediately because you know, Resident Evil Knievel, that's great stuff.
Heal, it might be called heal thyself or something, you know?
Yes, exactly.
Something like that.
We thought another good self-operation bit is in Apocalypto.
There's a terrific little bit where the mother of a little boy sews up a wound in his arm or leg with ants' heads.
She gets the ants to bite the wound together and then she pulls the bodies off the ants, so just their heads are left.
He's clever, that anti-semite, isn't he?
That Mel Gibbons.
Yeah.
He's brilliant.
He's brilliant.
The genius racist.
Yeah, that's what I call him.
And there's lots more in fact.
Somebody else mentioned the bit in Pan's Labyrinth, where Captain Cadell sews up the side of his mouth.
Pan's Labyrinth was almost too much for me.
It's way too much.
I'm a big fan of Guillermo del Toro's work.
I'm not a big, massive fan of Pan's Labyrinth.
It's good, it's imaginative stuff, but some of it is so extreme, it's hard to justify.
There's one bit in there where, if you've seen the film, you'll know what I'm talking about.
It involves some face-bashing.
and a man's face.
One bit is the opening scene.
It's the most upsetting bit of violence that I've ever, ever seen in a film.
It's really hard to take.
But pretty, you know, pretty good film, all in all.
Shall we have a little bit of chappy music now?
No.
Okay.
Okay, yes.
Are we gonna do, what is this, it's a trail are we gonna play right now for the Ravenettes playing in the hub, is that right?
Interpol.
Oh, we're gonna do Interpol.
I was always excited about the trails and the news.
Very upset to hear about Bon Jadarole splitting.
I didn't know they'd formed.
No, I don't know who they are.
I mean, Bon Jadarole?
Is that a big band right now?
It's very upsetting for them.
But anyway, here's Interpol.
Through the storms and the light Baby, you stood by my side
There are days in this life When you see the teeth marks of time Two lovers, divine Sound meets sounding The echoes they surround And all that we need is one thing Now what is there?
And maybe tonight I see your lips are on fire And life is wine Now the windows are open, the moon is so bright There's no one can tell us what love brings
The echo stays around And all that we need is one thing
Baby, you stood by my side And life is wine Do you feel the sweet breath of time?
It's whispering, it's truth not mine There's no I in threesome
That's Interpol with number one in threesome.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music coming up to the end of our show.
We've got less than quarter of an hour left.
I know.
And we've got a lot to pack in actually.
So let's get straight on with reminding people who may have just tuned in of the two songs up for song wars this week.
This is the part of the show where Adam and I compose songs individually on a theme and then you have to vote for which one you think is the best.
This week's theme, it was a kind of three-pronged theme.
It had to be sung sincerely, it was about global warming and it had to have a whistling passage in it.
So let's start with mine.
This is simply called the global warming song and it's done in the style of the kings of convenience.
Now we were actually, that was just a little tease there, but I thought we were going to play the whole thing.
We should play the whole thing, shouldn't we?
We should play the whole thing.
Yeah.
So, oh here we go.
In a couple of years we will all be frying
I saw that documentary.
Channel 4 is gratuitously provocative.
Blue Peter, Ant and Tech, who can we trust anymore?
It's the fact that it's sunny A good thing or a bad thing The Kyoto Protocol is calling, calling, calling But the limits the government set are so low It's appalling, appalling, appalling
The seas still rise in And the polar bears feel pain
There we go.
How much more sincere than that can you get?
That was good.
It starts with a real sucker punch about the world dying.
And you say you phoned that one in, man.
I can't believe that.
Those harmonies and stuff.
I gotta try this hard.
Nah.
Top of the head.
No way.
Sometimes the best stuff just comes out like that.
So there we go.
If you liked that one then vote Joe, text 64046 or if you're listening again, email Adam and joe.sixmusic at pbc.co.uk.
It's that song versus this song.
Adam's song.
Yeah, this is the sincere whistling eco song and I've taken a different tack musically.
This is more of a pop approach to the whole problem.
People look around you cause your home is disappearing People stop your whistling cause
Baby, what have I done?
You know I never meant to hurt you and I'm not the only one.
I was flying to the beach, I was driving just for fun.
Won't you listen to me whistle while I'm dying in the sun?
Oh, people stop your whistling and think about the climate.
The coal affairs are drowning and the seas are rising up And all because we like to drink out of a plastic cup The world will be a desert, or maybe under ice I can't remember which it is, but it will not be nice There might be time if we change our ways for waste At least that's what the scientific community says Although it is confusing, cause sometimes we disagree But changing our behavior should be good for you and me So, people stop and whistle, leave a think
Did you layer up that whistling?
Yeah boy, I layer everything up.
Yeah.
Because if you've got a weak voice, I'm not saying you do, you're a good singer, but my voice isn't really, you know, I'm no Thom Yorke, so I have to layer it up about five times before I get any tunefulness out of it.
So those are the songs to choose from, listeners on this week's Song Wars.
Text Adam or Joe to 64046 or if you want to vote after the show ends, then email Adam and Joe dot six music at BBC dot co dot UK.
Now here's a track that I've chosen for you, friends.
This is from
I don't know, it's not really anybody's favorite Lou Reed album, I don't think, The Bells, but... I hate it.
Yeah, Joe absolutely hates... I haven't even heard it and I hate it.
...The Bells, but I've got a soft spot for this track, which is track one on The Bells, and it almost sounds as if Lou Reed is doing a parody of himself, the way he's... I call it The Balls.
Ooh, dear, oh dear.
Joe Cornish absolutely slams The Bells by Lou Reed there on BBC6Music.
But yeah, check this out.
His accent is is ludicrous in a very enjoyable way.
Hope you like this.
It's called Stupid Man.
Stupid man.
Hitchhiking out of a good life in Saskatchewan.
And he thinks that he's got big, big plans.
Going to build a house of ponds and land.
RKC, don't it make you crazy?
Oh, when you're livin' on the low by that damn water RKC, don't it make you crazy?
When you're livin' on the low by those still waters Please say hello Please say hello to my little baby daughter
Oh Casey, tell her that her father's gonna be coming home so soon, so soon to see her Well, I'm shooting down the turnpike with a driver to a 95 or maybe more Don't you think he's loaded drunk or the thing he thinks he likes the poor?
Oh Casey, oh Casey, don't you know how he makes me so damn crazy living all alone by those waters?
But please say hello
But please say hello to my little baby Donald Please, please won't you just give her a great big kiss Then tell her that her stupid daddy will be coming home soon
R. Casey, R. Casey, don't you know I made me so damn crazy When I was living there all alone by those still waters But please tell, please tell my baby, baby, baby, daughter that I'm tired of knowing that I'll be home soon and I'll be the daddy that I honor Please say hello to me R. Casey, please say hello from a stupid man
It's like a Muppet song.
Yeah.
It's from Muppets Take Manhattan.
I love it.
It's good.
Our time's nearly up from... I've got to reconstruct that sentence.
I'm going to give that sentence reconstructive surgery.
I like the beginning of it.
Our time's nearly up for... You could have gone anyway.
Why did you lose confidence with that one?
I don't know.
I'm tired.
Are you?
I had fun last night.
Did you?
What were you doing?
I was on my own.
Oh.
On your own fun.
Listen, it's nearly time for the end of the show.
Thanks very much for listening.
We'll be back at the same time next Saturday morning.
9 till 12.
I thought I said something wrong.
Someone texted in.
You did, yeah.
Thanks to Taff and Laura in Bristol who've sent in an email.
I'll read every word of it.
Are you sure that Interpol track isn't called?
No, no, what?
I'm confused about what it's called.
Number one in threesome.
I said it was called number one in threesome.
Of course, it's called no I in threesome.
But you see Taff and Laura, you don't make that distinction because it's the N O space and then just a straight line.
Well, one or an I. That's where I went wrong.
You know, but you're right.
Adam did get it wrong.
They also say, by the way, I'm glad you qualified the statement.
I love it when people wake up during operations with in films.
Hmm.
I don't I don't like it in real life when that happens.
But that brings us on to the theme of text the nation next week.
Yeah.
We've decided it's going to be horror film ideas.
OK.
Don't you think?
Yeah we can try.
Yeah?
Yeah why not.
We don't have too long to set this up but the idea is that horror films are quite played out.
Yeah well it's all just I mean the lowest common denominator is torture porn isn't it?
Yeah.
And there's not that much imaginative stuff that goes into that because... Eli Roth's brought the genre to its knees.
We were looking at the poster for Shrooms.
The market seems to be swamped with rubbish so we'd like your ideas for taking the horror genre in a new direction.
Yes, some really imaginative scary ideas we want from you chaps.
Okay, let's let's lick this problem together.
We can do it.
I'm pretty sure we can.
Yeah.
But listen, until then, thank you so much for all your texts and emails and for listening to the show in general.
We really appreciate it.
And anything else to add to that show?
No, thanks very much, Adam.
Liz Kershaw is coming up.
And that's it for another week.
Here's Mars with Pump Up the Volume.
We'll see you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
the volume, pump up the volume, pump up the volume, dance, dance.