Curbs I can't keep inside all the day Swims from high to deep Extremes of sweet and sour Hope that God exists, I hope
This week will be my week, so let it go.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
Sit down next to me, sit down.
When you feel all alone Now I've swung back down again It's worse than it was before If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor
Those who feel the breath of sadness Sit down next to me Those who find they're touched by madness Sit down next to me Those who find themselves ridiculous Sit down next to me In love
That's James with Sit Down.
That single spent four weeks at number two in 1991, but was kept off the top spot by Chesney Hawks with the one and only.
Justifiably so.
Yeah, well, Chesney song towers over that.
It was the best Chesney song.
What was the other Chesney song?
There was only one Chesney song.
No, there was He Had One Other Hit.
Yeah, but it didn't really sort of register, did it?
Didn't resonate in the same way that I am.
You can't have more than one song if your song's called The One and Only.
Who wrote The One and Only?
Was it Nick Kershaw?
I don't know.
We'll find out.
Or Roger Daltrey?
No, Roger Daltrey was in the film.
It was Daltrey and Kershaw.
Right.
Was it?
Hi, this is Adam Buxton, incidentally.
Hey, my name's Joe Cornish.
We're Adam and Joe.
And welcome to our Saturday morning show here on 6 Music.
And we've got good news for you, listeners.
It's a beautiful day.
Apparently all the way across England, it's balmy, sunshine, there are beautiful russet and burgundy leaves.
Sort of flip-flopping lazily through the air.
You know I love the russet leaves.
More than the burgundy.
I don't like the burgundy leaves so much.
And the yellow ones, what would you call them?
Leaves.
They're a disgrace.
But watch out for dog plops.
Oh yes.
Under the leaves.
Would you run through a pile of leaves?
What do you think about when you run through a pile of leaves?
Are you worried about dog plops or are you worried about syringes?
Both I'm worried about syringes.
It's like one of those sore films.
Yeah kicking through leaves.
That's right torture porn torture Yeah, you'll just end up with with severed stumps.
Oh
That's right.
What a horrible way to start the show.
Kind of counterbalanced by our beautiful Hawaiian tropical sound effects there in the background as a soothing bed for you for this opening link.
And I should say, folks, that we've got a great show coming up.
I've got all sorts of stuff coming up.
I've changed.
I need to go to the loo and cough it out.
Don't do that.
I mean, I didn't realise you were actually being serious.
We're talking about stuff coming up.
Don't carry on talking about it.
Keep going.
I was going to say that I've changed the jingle for Song Wars.
You've changed generally.
I've generally changed.
I've changed a lot this week.
I've had a haircut.
I've changed the jingle for Song Wars.
You've got two new jingles to choose from.
Really?
Yeah.
We're going to hear those throughout the show.
So the Star Wars one has been rejected?
I destroyed the Star Wars one.
Really?
Yeah, I burnt it.
I burnted it because it is... Burnted it?
Yeah, I burnt it.
When you really burnt something, it's burnted and it was a disgrace.
Anyway, you'll be hearing those a bit later on.
I think the word is brunt.
Yeah.
And also, of course, we'll be asking you to text the nation or we'll be... I don't know.
We'll be playing Texanation, Britain's favourite segment and Song Wars and loads of great music.
In this hour alone we've got some new young pony club, some staple singers, some LCD sound system, what an eclectic mix and the kind of mix you'd only find here on BBC6Music.
That's right.
But right now here's Super Furry Animals with Runaway.
This song is based on a true story, which will be fine.
It's frozen autobiographical.
For life, it wouldn't make me die But I could've told you anything Except the truth which burns my little world away That's what I need to do
Someone to bite the wig
Never to turn and face my fears We may have fought with teeth and nails As the recall, we're back in details Run away That's what I'm here to be Run away There's nothing I can do
Those who cry and run away, live to cry another day Run away, that's what I need to be Run away, there's nothing I can say
Super furry animals there with run away.
How did you enjoy the chord change at the end there, Joe?
Was it a modulation?
It was a modulation, wasn't it?
Yeah.
It was nice.
I liked it a lot.
Not a chord change, but a key change.
No, there were several chord changes in the song.
You've got to have them, you know, otherwise you'll end up with... Otherwise you'll just have one chord.
Exactly.
And no one can do that.
Well... Apart from Robert Palmer.
Robert Palmer, was he the king of the one chord?
Yeah, he did that song, wasn't it called You're All Good Love in the World or something?
That's how the lyrics went and it was just one note.
Really?
Yeah, but not lyrically, but the music.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, that doesn't surprise me.
How do you know about Robert Palmer?
Because he's good.
He's good, he's not good.
He was, he had good moments.
Addicted to love, that was his moment in the sun, wasn't it?
Well, that was his hit, but often you'll find people's hits aren't their best moments.
Oh.
Yeah.
All right.
You didn't know that, did you, Adam?
No.
Adam's mind has melted.
It's seeping out of his ears.
Oh, man.
Onto the floor and into a little puddle.
Sometimes people's hits are not their best moments.
Yes, like the charts.
Yeah.
They're not the 10 best songs currently available.
What?
I know.
The number one song isn't actually... Well, sometimes it is, but most often it isn't actually the best song.
Sometimes it's the worst.
It's hard to get your head round, isn't it?
But the people who... Yeah, you know, anyway, we can talk about that more.
You know, we don't want to unload too much mind frazzling info on the listeners.
No, speaking of mind frazzling info, though, you may remember if you listened last week to our first song, the first show even, that we unveiled a new jingle for a new segment, which is called Song Wars.
And this is a segment where Joe and myself,
are pitched in battle against each other, playing songs that we have written that week ourselves, written and recorded ourselves on a set theme.
And we had an introductory jingle that was based on the music from the film Star Wars last week, and it was bad.
It's fair to say that it was not that.
It had a certain charm.
I think, I mean I wasn't responsible for it.
No, no I was responsible for it.
The charm came mainly from the John Williams score, the magnificent John Williams music.
And I sort of... Over which you sung... Yeah.
It was good man.
Do we still have it?
We don't want to play it again.
We still got it.
We don't want to play it again.
Play the first 10 seconds to remind people.
It was horrible.
It was absolutely horrible.
Well this is the good bit.
Can't go wrong with this.
It's time for SONG!
See, now you can stop it now.
Stop it now.
Stop it now.
Stop, thank you.
That was horrible.
That's a taster of how absolutely bad it was.
So I tried to strip things down this week and give you a new jingle, do you know what I mean?
And I'm gonna, I pledge, here's my formal pledge to the listeners and to you, Joe Cornish.
I'm going to continue to make new jingles.
Really?
For Song Wars until I get it right.
Every week?
Every week.
Bojangles.
Even if I don't get it right, I'm gonna carry on.
Just this week alone, I've got two new jingles.
That's where the expression Bojangles comes from.
It is.
That's what Neil Diamond was talking about when he wrote the song.
And I would like to unveil for you the first of this week's two new jingles for Song Wars right now.
It's time for Song Wars The War of
Yeah?
What do you think?
Prongs.
Well, you didn't necessarily have to... I knew you were going to mention that word as soon as it finished.
I don't... Well, it's like... Don't focus on the prongs.
It was really good, man.
It had a touch of Flight of the Conchords about it.
Yeah, I suppose.
The Touche de Conchords?
Uh-huh.
It's no bad thing.
What's a prong?
Well, it's like the working... It's the business end of a fork.
I was thinking about this.
You know like forks for digging the garden and also a fork for eating your food?
They have prongs.
But why do you refer to a similar thing on a comb as a tooth?
When does like a prong become a tooth?
You know because the size, you could say it was just about size, but the size differential between a garden
you know, a fork, and an actual eating fork, that's massive.
Shall we have some music?
But the size between an eating fork... Let's come back to that.
So Song Wars, man that was really good.
I think we're overloaded.
I think this link's overloaded.
I think we should go to some music and come back for the Song Wars.
You can't just play that introductory jingle.
We've got prongs, we've got new jingle and we've got the clips.
Yeah, but the new jingle is for the segment where we play the clips.
Alright, okay.
So that's a brilliant new jingle.
Thank you.
Right, so the theme this week for Song Wars is public transport.
It was suggested by one of our listeners.
It was.
Do we know that person's name?
Well, we'll get our man to find out the name of that person so they can get the correct respect.
I was going to make up a name just then, but I remembered that if I made one up, I'd be instantly vaporized.
You'd be kicked out of the sluice gate into the moat of the big British castle.
So here we go.
We've got two songs.
We'd like you to call and text, not call, no, just text and email your votes for which of these two songs you would like to hear the whole of.
The text number is six.
What is it, Jude?
is six four zero four six uh text adam or joe you can just text ad a d or joe j-o yeah uh depending on which one of these clips you want to hear the whole thing of we'll be playing the full uh winner towards the end of the show at noon
We'll play the full one of both of them.
It's just a question of who wins.
Okay, it's a battle.
Here we go.
And you can email adamandjoe.6musicatpbc.co.uk.
Here's song number one.
Whose song is this?
This is my song, Joe's song.
Now this is a kind of a Ben Folds Five style song.
And it's simply called the public transport song.
That's my song.
That's Adam's song.
That's my song.
I was going to ask you, do you have a name for your band?
No, I don't.
Oh, you've got to have a name.
It's just me.
It's just Joe Cornish.
Yeah.
MC JC.
JC and the Sunshine Band.
Okay.
Yeah.
Are you ready with JC and the Sunshine Band?
Here we go.
9.30 on the 133.
Some kids are throwing chips and causing misery.
I stand up to
Yeah, a little bit violent.
That's right.
It's Ben Fold5 meets Chas and Dave.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm happy with that in a good way.
So that's Joe's song.
If you want to hear that one text 64046 text Joe to 64046.
Here's a clip from Adam's song.
That's called Tiny Mobile Speakers and that's by Scallywag.
Is it?
Yeah.
Hey, Scallywag's done some work before.
He has.
Some of our previous shows.
Shall we let that sink in and we're gonna play some music right now while those tracks sink in.
We'll remind you later on of both those tracks for Song Wars but right now here is a track that I picked for you listeners.
I hope you enjoyed this.
It's from the Cures album 17 Seconds and it's called Play for Today.
It's not a case of doing what's right It's just the way I feel that matters Tell me I'm wrong, I don't really care It's not a case of sharing share a like And take what I require I don't understand, you're saying it's not fair
Act like a father, consider my moves and deserve the reward To hold you in my arms, but wait
It's not a case of telling the truth Tonight's just been the situation You'd call me a liar, you would anyway It's not a case of aiming to please You know you're always crying It's just your part in the play for today
New to Saturday night.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
Introducing interesting new artists who are putting great music online.
Frankly, the more startling the better.
Hopefully all the people have been crying out for us to play more adventurous music by unsigned bands.
We'll be able to find something we like in every show.
and suggest any really amazing stuff that you've found out there online.
Just let us know via the new Introducing web page at bbc.co.uk slash 6music.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
From Midnight.
Two hours of new music fresh from the net.
On BBC 6music.
Adam and Joe.
On 6music.
People coming, people going, people want to die Don't ask me, because I don't know why But it's like that, and that's the way it is People leave the world, come to make it meet You tell a card game, bust some beat I said you got to work hard, you want to compete It's like that, and that's the way it is
won't you tell me last time that love bought your clothes it's like that
To you now
Learn things like that, and that's the way it is.
You can see a lot in this lifespan.
Like a ball eaten out of a garbage can.
You know this one.
And that's the way it is You should have gone to school You could have learned to train But you lay in the bed Where the bumps have laid Now all the time you're crying That you're underpaid It's like that
It's like that.
We're doing an intervention.
Yeah.
Let's run DMC.
That's a bit of prehistoric hip-hop there.
It's from 1983 and hip-hop's come along so far since then that that song has been retired.
Yeah.
And that's the last time you'll ever hear it.
It's been shut down.
It's been boarded up.
On the radio.
Yeah, there's just like a gang.
They're turning it into a Starbucks.
There's a gang of kids living in it.
Really?
Yeah.
From Smackies.
Yeah, and they're getting them out to turn it into a Starbucks.
Hey some people have texted us pointing out that you know I'm saying that it's it's blue skies and beautiful in England at the moment and and of course in Wales and Scotland maybe it isn't and some people are kind of thinking that we're or or I'm being London centric oh and I know that's a very justifiably sore point with with them
People, you know, who are annoyed at the media being based in the south.
All of us.
And particularly the big British castle criticized this week for being too London-centric.
There you go, but it's dividing, they're building new castles in other areas of Britain, just like the Normans.
um so that's okay but i do apologize i was uh i was merely hoping that the whole of this great uh country of ours was enjoying the same weather that that we're privileged to have here in sloppy uh conceited south southern london yeah so we're we're yeah we're wishing sunshine on the whole of the septic aisle yeah um i love the fact that we're national that we're nationally broadcast exactly
Well, it's a lovely morning here in London town.
Hey, let me tell you, although cold.
Um, and, uh, I've been having a sleepless time though.
I have to tell you I'm, yeah, this has been up since three this morning.
Three couldn't sleep.
Went to bed at 11.
I don't know if it was maybe just excitement about doing the show this morning.
It was a little bit of excitement.
Is that possible?
Yeah.
Also, it was maybe something I ate.
I'm not sure what.
Maybe you ate some excitement.
I could have eaten too much excitement.
That could have been exactly what it was.
But one thing that I wanted to do throughout the night was check the kitchen, right?
Because do you remember last week I was talking about the mouse problems I'd been having.
There's a lot of mice in the kitchen all over the house, more or less, as far as I can tell, leaving little bits of mouse nonsense everywhere.
And it was freaking me out because it was getting in the Muesli, and it's very hard to tell.
Mouse nonsense from Muesli, et cetera.
Anyway, I thought, right, I'm going to do something about this problem.
So I went out this week.
This is before calling, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger, right?
The Ex-Terminator.
little joke for you he's the ex-terminator oh nice one yeah um i thought i'd slip it in don't usually do jokes don't slip it in won't be doing that anymore um anyway so before calling the ex-terminator i thought i'm gonna try and sort this problem myself so i went out and got some mouse traps have you ever bought mouse traps uh yeah
Have you really?
Yeah.
They're frightening, though, don't you find?
Because I bought the little wooden ones.
They're slightly medieval.
They're very medieval.
I mean, that's an ancient design.
You want to get one that uses a bit of peanut butter to lure them into a closed room.
Right.
Well, the ones that the exterminators put down are the sort of tubes with poison in them and stuff.
I thought it would be nice to go the old fashioned route, but just setting these things is terrifying in itself, you know what I mean?
And it's just on a hair trigger, this thing.
And you put it down, you have to bend the kind of killing bar back and it's all very, very...
you know, minutely weighted, so that the slightest bit of pressure on the pad will snap shut on the mouse.
So it snapped, it almost chopped my fingers off a couple of times, it was terrifying.
And I had it in my head as well, like, since I was a kid that... You had it in your head!
No, listen, that since I was a child it had been drilled into me that if you go anywhere... It was drilled into you!
There's no point in me talking, is there?
Sorry, no, I am following.
You know, it had been drilled into me that if you put your finger in a mousetrap, you're going to lose your fingers.
Absolutely, by Tom and Jerry cartoons.
Yeah, exactly.
So it was, you know, just a horrible, nerve-wracking process.
Anyway, I'm glad to say that I caught one very quickly, like pretty much ten minutes after I set the trap.
Yeah.
I had one in there, squeaking away, but he wasn't dead.
He was very much alive.
He was just caught by his tail.
So, what would you have done?
What would I have done?
I would have talked to it and just explained the situation, tried to reason with it, you know?
No need to go straight to war.
That's got everybody into trouble before.
Push diplomacy as far as it can go.
But I had him right there and, you know, these guys are making my life a misery and I hate them.
But at the same time I was thinking, this is a little chap, he's probably got a name, and he's on a kind of a family adventure, and you know what I mean?
So I had to let him go.
Fievel, it could have been Fievel.
Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
Going south, Fievel goes south London.
And they are very sweet.
That's the thing, when you're staring at the little chap, I felt really sorry for it.
I felt like the most evil man in the world.
So I had to let him go.
We've had a great email about some mouse problems from a listener.
And don't forget, you can email us at any time in the show, adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk, or text 64046.
It's now time for the news, read by Katherine Cracknell.
Digital radio.
Digital TV.
BBC 6 Music.
Warehouse fire claims firefighter 5 hurt in fairground accident in Emirates Stadium set for top of the table clash.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC News at 9.30.
I'm Catherine Cracknell.
Police say they're looking into the theory that a warehouse fire in Warwickshire which killed at least one firefighter was arson.
The search is still underway for three other firefighters.
Bill Meadow lives on a farm opposite the warehouse in Atherston on Sower.
see fairly early on there was some sort of grey whitey smoke arise and that was sort of probably six six o'clock time and that continued for a very long time it was until quite late on in the evening when the flames eventually burst through the roof of the building john maples is the local mp it's absolutely terrible story isn't this a huge warehouse on the outside of a very small village just outside stratford not some place you expect this kind of thing to happen
and the works of our service is a very small service.
So to know that one person has died and three are missing is really a huge, huge tragedy for us here.
In other States music news, a murder inquiry is underway after a 93-year-old man injured in a row at a business park in Devon later died.
It happened in Plimpton yesterday afternoon.
A 50-year-old man was arrested and taken for questioning.
300,000 people are trapped in their homes in Mexico, where floodings hit the southern state of Tabasco.
Nearly all services, including water, have been shut down, and there are reports of desperate residents ransacking supermarkets for food.
Five people, including three teenagers, have been injured as a fairground ride collapsed at a bonfire display.
A 24-year-old woman suffered serious spinal injuries in the accident last night at Melford Hall in Suffolk.
Six music, sport, football and the top two in the premiership face each other this lunchtime.
Arsenal take on Manchester United at the Emirates Stadia, with the Gunas unbeaten at home in the league this season.
Tennis and Andy Murray's had his hopes of qualifying for the season-ending Masters Cup in Shanghai.
Dashed, he's lost in the quarter-finals of the Paris Masters to Richard Gasquet in three sets.
And the weather a fair looking day, most places with some sunshine around, but one or two wet patches as well as the rain moves through parts of central and northern England and Wales.
Highs between 12 and 14, a few degrees down on that in Scotland.
That's Six Music News.
Next update, 10.30.
Six.
Hear more of the best bits from the BBC Music Archive on Monday night, including session tracks from Eddie and the Hot Rods, Cold Cut and The Shop Assistants.
Also, we've got concert highlights from XTC, Blomange and 808 States.
Join me, Gideon Co, Monday from 10pm.
Six Music.
Adam and Jones on Six Music.
Hold my legs and my arms for new Bandages, bandages, bandages Up and down, hold my legs and my arms for new Bandages, bandages, bandages These bandages cover mother's graves Cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes
I've been trippin' from sippin' to drippin' Dirty water top I've been pokin' a food noodle that you do not know I made these bandages of anonymity I've been shakin' from makin' an awful death sentence
Let's hold my life, set my arms for new Brand new chills, brand new chills, brand new chills
of you.
Let's see what needles through.
I've been shaking from making an awful decision.
I've been thinking I'm drinking too many drinks all by myself.
Better just, better just, better just Up and down and on my legs and my arms for you Better just, better just, better just Better just, on my legs and my arms for you Better just, better just, better just
Don't worry cause it's all under control
I've been down all my life, set my arms for you Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance Better chance, better chance, better chance
The lyric of that song sounds like so many things other than bandages.
Like what?
Well, bag of chips.
Somebody's texted in.
It also sounds like something quite rude.
Oh dear.
It does.
Yeah.
I'm merely observing that.
You know, there's a thing, you know, if I was young and when I was young, I often misunderstood the lyrics to song.
I'd be all over the place with that one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'd be delighted.
I'd be delighted.
Sounds like a bag of something else.
We were talking before about mice and Joe mentioned that we had a very nice email from Steve.
Steve Dugan.
Hi, how you doing Steve?
Thanks a lot for listening to the show and thanks for emailing us with this amazing story which I will pray see here.
Steve also had mouse problems.
One night I was working late, says Steve.
I work from home.
I heard a scuttling noise behind me and turned to see a tiny mouse running along the top of the cooker.
Uh, this was a first.
I had no idea how it got up there, but before I could catch it, it scurried down the back and was gone.
I had the same thing just this morning, Steve.
I can relate to that.
It's a horrible feeling.
You're totally powerless.
A bit disconcerted, I went back to work.
Some hours later, I stopped for a midnight snack, so I stuck the kettle on and popped a slice of bread into the toaster.
A minute later, there was a strange smell.
I presumed the toast was burning and went over to investigate.
Halfway across the room, I realized it wasn't the toast I could smell, but singed fur.
By this time I put two and two together, flipped the toaster off and nervously pulled out the toast.
Running down its length were two dark lines, which on closer examination turned out to be charred fur.
Ah, the little mouse.
You say ah ah ah.
I'm thinking nice.
Got one.
Sweet.
Result.
Well done Steve.
He says I had no more trouble with mice.
It was as if they all knew that this was the kitchen of death and they stayed away.
I also had a replacement toaster handy, which I promptly used.
And although I always intended to chuck out the toaster of death, I never did.
I left it there for the next tenant, which I feel a bit bad about, says Steve.
I wonder what mouse on toast tastes like.
uh well for to me it would taste sweet a little bit like revenge a little bit furry yeah like sweet furry revenge yeah there you go listen uh coming up after the next track we're gonna be playing the nation's favorite interactive feature text the nation stay tuned for that but right now here is uh someone great by lcd sound system enjoy
It's not
Too late for me
Text, text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Yes, it's time for Text the Nation, the nation's favorite interactive feature on any media anywhere in the country.
It's not a competition.
It's not a competition, it's a happening.
It's just a thing.
And that thing I just said about it being the nation's most popular interactive segment is not true.
It might be true.
It's not true.
It might?
It's not true, it can't be.
Okay, okay.
It can't be.
What do you think it is?
The nation's favourite interactive feature used to be Ant and Dec's Pusher Piggy or whatever it is called.
The big piggy push.
Now of course things have changed.
Now of course they're going to be in jail for 25 years.
Now the nation's favourite interactive feature
you're going to say something.
I don't know.
This week now listeners it's important to realise that we don't just make up this uh this text the nation thing it's given to us by Gordon Brown.
That's true.
The number 10 Downing Street posts us a question every week and it's always something that the government want to find out about the people of the country.
They use it as a think tank.
They use it as a think tank.
This week uh they want to find out
exactly how stupid everybody is.
That's right.
So they can work out what policies they can get away with.
Yeah?
Yeah.
This week's Textination is all about the stupidest things or thing you have ever done.
It's quite broad.
For instance, I've written a list, Adam.
Have you?
And this is just off the top of my head.
This is a list of 14 stupid things I've done.
Fourteen, good one.
Handing it over there to Adam.
Let's have a look.
He hasn't seen his list.
Some of them I actually don't want you to read out.
I'll show you, I've only got three there.
Really?
They're the absolute stupidest things.
Mine is like, they're in no particular order, but I'd say they're 14 of the stupidest things I've ever done in my life.
You can read some of them out.
Number three.
I drew armpit hair under my arms with a burnt bit of cork because I didn't have any armpit hair and I wanted some.
Was this recent?
No.
That's quite good.
Agreed to host the Q awards.
That's right.
Well, I forgot that one.
Voted for Tony Blair.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Stupid can you get.
Come on.
Political?
Here's some of Adam's.
He's only got a list of three stupid things he's ever done.
Number two is tried to lick the back of a metal ice tray.
Yeah.
We'll come back to that in more detail.
Mixed bleach and cleaning fluid in the sink for an experiment.
Is number three so but listen the point of this listeners is?
Is to get you to text in the stupidest thing you've ever done or email it the text number is six four zero four six the email is Adam and Joe all one word and the word and D rather than I'm Sam dot six music at BBC UK yeah now some of these I think are just cool that you've got on your list and
Don't read them all out.
No, I won't, but maybe I shouldn't even read that one out, because... Which one is it, Alan?
Go to jail for that one.
You know, the Degar one.
Oh yeah, no, read that one out.
Tried to pick a piece of paint, like a bobble of paint, off an original haystack by Degar.
We can tell you more.
That was both of us, wasn't it, Alan?
Yeah.
We've probably spoken about that before.
I don't think we have.
uh and we'll tell you a bit we tried to that's a terrible thing to confess to but remember listeners we didn't succeed and we were quite young and stupid and we were drunk the dega is intact uh we were we were at a posh house like a really posh house and they had these they had a day they had these hanging in but like they had amazing bits like uh monet and manet we were painting we were drunk we were about 415 yeah
and we thought it would be clever to maybe try and pick some paint off the Degas, which actually, in retrospect, is an awful thing to do.
It's not very good, is it?
Absolutely dreadful, but we didn't do it, and all we did was pathetically sort of, sort of tweak at it with a fingernail.
We licked it in the end.
We licked it, we kissed it.
We licked the Degas.
Anyway, that's pretty stupid.
Uh, send us your stupidest things.
It's not a competition, it's just a sort of a survey, but we might select our favourite.
And you've won in a sort of an emotional way.
No, you haven't.
No, there's no winning.
You're not distinguished in any respect whatsoever.
Everyone's the same.
It's by no means any kind of Stalinist, Brita, meritocracy.
We're going to hear some more of the things on Joe's list of stupid things in just a moment.
But right now, here is a track that we tried to play last week, but it went wrong because it turned out to be the instrumental version.
That's right.
This is a great track.
This is from Talib Kweli's album.
I think it's called Ear Drum.
Is that on our factoid list?
Where has it gone?
Yeah.
It features Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas.
Now usually I would run a billion miles in the opposite direction from anything the Black Eyed Peas did.
Done.
Doo-dooed.
But they've done this one and it's really good with Talib Kweli.
This is called Hot Thing.
Love how we melt in the ice, you like the sunshine of my life.
Cause all I see is a hot thing.
And you're my hot thing.
And you're my hot thing.
And you're my hot thing.
You keep my dark sky lit up at night.
So bright that you're blind in my sight.
Cause all I see is a hot thing.
Your body like a flick, it got surprise and twists I'll write the script, the main character, your thighs and hips Award for best important role, go see your eyes and lips The way you move your body, got em stiff like a hieroglyphic I'll watch you dance across the floor to the title track You bout to get me off the wall like you're Michael Jack I'll make a scribe in your beauty, my sacred duty I will write a song, write a book, write a play, make a movie
Bye.
I love your country ass, I love your city sass I love how you know my ways, you get you pretty fast These dudes are pretty crass, harass you in your past I love how you snap back and get the last laugh I love the way your Crips more like Votivo candle lenses The white boy should use on the phone when you handle business I love it when you're freaky ass I love when you were ladies rockin' doing knockers from the late 80's Raisin' babies I love how God bless you, your body's something special I love to play connect the dots with your facial freckles No need for fashion police and because I love your staff Whatever happened to Shanice, baby, I love your smile
My lover might be falling in love, should I let her know?
My parents told me if I love her I should let her go I sing her praises every time they play this instrumental Cause she instrumental to my lifetime, my lifetime Hey, hey, hey, hey Special dedication Good love, no sexy thang And if you know your sexy thang Shoot outside my eyes Put your hands in the air like this here Oh for sure, oh for sure, yeah Good love, no sexy thang
I love how we meltin' the ice You like the sunshine of my life Cause all I see is a hot thing And you're my hot thing And you're my hot thing And you're my hot thing You keep my dark sky lit up at night So bright that you're blind in my sight Cause all I see is a hot thing
Let me take you by the hand You need to try your man to fight it down Have your groupie dialed like excited fans I promise you'll be climbing walls like Spider-Man knees Buckle in, you hit the floor when you try to stand So you drop it like it's hot Oh it's so heavy, you and me We can leave now, we can go steady How about we be jetty?
Because I'm so ready to bounce like a sixty-four shepard Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Yeah, that's right.
This is what?
Oh, for sure, yeah.
And if you know you're sexy, it's a special dedication for all the special ladies.
Yeah, yeah.
Shout out to Will.I.Am, that hot shit.
that's a song written by Talib Kweli actually about me is it yeah you've got something I like yeah we met and I think he fancied me yeah he said yes you're sexy I love your crunchy ass mmm he said and what was he saying at the end there Oh push oh
Uh, the Oprah show.
The Oprah show.
He loves Oprah.
Oprah show?
Yeah.
Oprah show?
Yeah.
That's good stuff, man.
No, he's saying, oh, for show.
For show.
For show.
For show.
For show.
Yeah.
For show.
It's just a repeated affirmation.
And it makes everyone feel good.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
We're in the middle of Text the Nation, the nation's favourite interactive non-competition.
We've already had some very good stupid things in.
Are you ready for this, Adam?
Yeah, hit me with a few.
Okay.
To dry my trousers, I put them in a microwave at work and they melted.
So I had to walk out of reception.
blooming machine keeps refreshing itself yeah in my boxers had to walk out of reception in my boxes to go home and get a new pair that's from an anonymous man yeah if you text us on 64046 please put your name or some kind of moniker mm-hmm so we can so we can credit you Lewinsky now can I say the word poo yeah
Come on, it's a sad day when you can't say poo.
This isn't really a stupid thing, it's just disgusting.
Should I read it?
Well, as long as it's not too revolting.
I got locked out of my house and had to do a poo in an alleyway nearby.
Is that it?
That's not necessarily stupid though.
That's just a necessity.
From R in Oxford.
Is that the R?
Is that Rakeem from Eric B. and Rakeem?
I think it is.
I think he's often seen squatting in hairy ways.
He's got a bad tummy.
Keep them coming in 64046.
They're good those ones but I'm sure people can do better.
We want something really quite elaborate.
You know the fellow drying his trousers in the microwave reminded me of when I was in Edinburgh doing a show up there
and I was renting a little sort of squat while I was there for a month or whatever and there was no question of there being a dryer there or anything like that who knew and one time about an hour before my show was due to start I was washing my show clothes yeah and big clown big clown suit my big spot exactly suit exactly and
The thing was it was totally, I misjudged the timing of the whole thing and I thought I was maybe going to be able to dry the clothes outside because it was a sunny day but in Scotland, in Edinburgh that time of year especially, the weather changes on a dime or on a pinhead or very quickly or whatever the phrase is and suddenly it started raining and there was no question of me drying the stuff in time so I thought okay what am I going to do and I tried, I turned on all the rings on the cooker yeah and I made a sort of elaborate framework out of
just things I could find lying around and I hung my... You tried to bake the clothes.
I tried to bake them yeah just like with all the steam.
What happened?
They started to burn and steam set off all the fire alarms and stuff and there was just alarms going and they felt it's a very stupid and dangerous thing to do.
Clothes generally material is flammable.
yeah so you've got to be careful with with how you dry it it's one of the stupidest things if you've done anything stupider than that and i'm sure you have and we're not talking about anything uh criminal or life-threatening or or that would encourage other listeners to be irresponsible we're talking about light fluffy saturday morning kind of stupidity yeah yeah like um life-threatening stupidity is uh allowed i think come on
I mean of course we don't want to encourage them.
Well send it in and I'll vet them.
Send in anything.
Now we've got a little trail coming up for you.
This is going to be an amazing trail for the electric proms.
I really hope you enjoy it.
And after that it's my session pick.
This is going to be Baby Bird from BBC session from 1995 with a track called Too Handsome to be Homeless.
We'll chat about it after we hear it.
The BBC Electric Proms A new music experience For a limited time You can now watch or listen again to the Electric Proms from the BBC Mark Ronson and the BBC Concert Orchestra The Kaiser Chiefs in collaboration with James Bond composer David Arnold Chemical Brothers
and many more.
For details of how to get your virtual ticket to the BBC Electric Proms, go to any BBC digital TV channel and press red or log on to bbc.co.uk slash electric proms.
Adam and Joe on six music.
Adam's pick of the BBC archive.
Hey.
Oh, I'm doing a little bit of filling here now, folks, because the computer's gone mental.
I don't know what it's doing.
It's just gone completely mental.
And it's made an editorial decision to ditch Baby Bird's BBC session from 1995.
I was going to play You Too Handsome To Be Homeless, which I think I heard when it was actually going out.
And I remember it being wicked.
So maybe we'll be able to dig that out for you a bit later on.
But until then, we are going to play a track from Estelle right now.
This is Wait A Minute.
Please.
Make it special I'm gonna have it my way Right now you get just one time My love's so professional Just because we're kissing Don't mean we aren't dressing You ain't creepin' in Suggesting those freaky little things You can do cause there aren't no
Baby gotta let you know If and when the time comes with me and you sexy so Wrap it up cause I ain't carrying your embryo You staring at a woman that'll slap your arse to the floor You say I ain't right But you keep coming back cause the girls tonight You ain't spending the night After we done head back to the wife I know it feels so nice To invite for some love tonight They're so special are you
baby boy let's make it special i'm gonna have it my way right now you get just one time
Ugh.
My love's on overload Don't mean to boast but I kiss and make it overdose Hold me tight, hold me close Turn out the lights, knock you out, call you comatose Boy you rockin' with the most Esto take you on a ride like a rollercoaster I heat it up like a toaster Boy bring your body over I know what to do Lay it down, put the zoom zoom on you Tryna play it cool You know you wanna drool like a baby do
Come on, yeah, boy, I'm free with you Get your shoes on, cause I'm using you But listen, it's so special All you get to get is just a touch Just a touch We can take our time, we ain't gotta rush, you know Just a touch If you ain't ready, we'll do all that stuff, you know Just a touch Baby boy, let's make it special I'ma have it my way Right now you get just one time
Wait, wait, wait, wait Just a touch Just a touch Text the nation Text, text, text Text the nation What if I don't want to?
Text the nation But I'm using email Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter Text
text the nation the nation's favorite feature before that you heard Estelle there with the track called wait a minute that was actually produced by will.i.am it's the will.i.am show he's all over the shop this morning that was taken from Estelle's forthcoming album shine which is released in february of next year you gotta wait a long time for that one but it sounds interesting stuff so probably well worth the wait
I'm sorry, I'm just reading the text.
You're not going to get much from me.
No, I stunned myself into boredom by saying, well worth the wait there.
I'm just printing out some of these stupid things people are sending in just to remind you of stupid things coming in.
Yeah, brilliant text the nation.
The subject this week is the stupidest things you've ever done.
I'm gonna return to my list now of stupid things and Joe mentioned before that once when I was very young You know young enough probably for it to be excusable.
I would say Before I knew any better.
I licked the back of a metal ice tray.
This was in a hotel we were on holiday and I
I was excited that I had a fridge in my room and there was a metal ice tray there and it was all frosty when I took it out and I thought that looks frostalicious so I licked the back of it of course my tongue stuck fast to the back of the ice tray and it was so shocking that it was so firmly stuck on there that I panicked and I just tore it off and immediately I saw basically the the top few millimeters of my tongue
Ah, was there blood?
Just, you bet there was blood, yeah.
Man.
There was just left, a large part of my tongue was just left on the ice tray.
And I thought, that's not good, that's not good!
And I went to the mirror, poked out my tongue, it was just red raw with blood, you know?
It was like a big bloody... Can you, can you taste now?
It took a while before I could taste.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was shocking.
It was not only painful, it was in every way, it was shocking, it looked horrific, it was probably worse.
Thing is, the tongue is one of the parts of the body that heals quickest.
Is it?
Yes, it is.
Really?
So it didn't take- It's like a kind of immortal slug.
Yeah, it is exactly like an immortal slug.
And it healed very quickly, luckily, but boy, that was way up there on the stupid list.
What one do you want off of my list of stupid things?
Okay, here's another one.
Oh yeah, I remember this one.
Lied to Armit and Dweezil Zappa about having heard their album and got instantly called on it.
This is a very stupid thing.
Adam and me were filming a segment with Frank Zappa's sons, Armit and Dweezil.
But for a TV show we used to do we were hanging around by around a pool table, right?
Yeah, this was up in Frank Zappa's house in Laurel Canyon in a while ago, and I did the terrible thing that you should never do I said hey guys, I Really enjoyed your new album to try and get some generic Terminology like that and they and what did they say they went?
Oh, you haven't heard our new album Yeah name a song
And I couldn't, because I hadn't heard it.
It was a horrible, mortifying moment.
I've still got the... I don't believe that we ever actually used the footage we shot on that day.
No, it was hideous.
We had to go back and re-shoot part of it with Ahmet, who was the nicer of the two.
But Dweezil absolutely hated us.
probably with slightly good reason.
I think me more than you.
You had heard the album.
Yeah, but I didn't even like the album that he did very much.
It was surly and sarcastic for the rest of the day.
It was a terrible day, but that was a pretty bad start.
So listen, after this next track, we'll come back with some of your stupid things and we've got some brilliant stuff coming in.
Keep them coming in to 64046.
Your stupid things make Adam and me look clever.
That's right.
Now, here's Travis with Selfish Gene.
BBC Six Music.
BBC Six Music.
Closer to the music that matters.
You're just so selfish Gene, yes you are Hey you, threw it all away Holding everything in him Hey Gene don't rock the boat when you can't swim
Twist the knife
You keep the chocolate biscuits wired to a car
Standing on my own And this house is not a home So sad to see me go Things are high and things are low And it's good to know, you know If you've got nowhere to go Well, you can spend the night with me There will be no guarantee that I'll be here In the morning Or any time that you call
I hear you snoring, Jean, through the wall.
So hey, here's to everything.
To peace and love in our time.
Textination.
Text.
Text.
Text.
Textination.
What if I don't want to?
Textination.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
Are we overplaying that jingle?
No, you can't overplay the textination jingle.
Really?
Really.
That's just a reminder, isn't it, to remind people what we're doing, what it's all about, what the rules are, whether they can email or text.
What are we doing?
We are asking people what the stupidest things they've ever done are.
What's it all about?
That's different.
That's a kind of more profound question which I'm not equipped to answer at this point.
Thanks to everybody who's texted in with the stupidest thing they've ever done.
Keep texting 64046 or emailing adamandjoe.6music.pvc.co.uk.
Are you ready for some, Adam Buxton?
Okay, here we go.
My landlord at university agreed to get us new sofas because ours were flammable.
So one night I dragged them all out into our small concrete yard and set light to them for a nice bonfire.
The fire got higher and higher and the concrete started to uproot itself and fly out of the ground.
What?
Is that real?
The neighbours washing caught fire.
I felt very stupid, says Anna in Glasgow.
She may have, what's the word, elaborated, exaggerated a tiny bit.
I doubt the concrete actually started to fly out of the ground.
Maybe she's not talking about the concrete, but it's more like... Maybe the university she went to was Hogwarts.
Yeah, or it was perhaps the kind of surface you get on a tennis court, you know what I mean?
Like tarry.
That's bad.
Don't set light to things, ever.
You know, when you're a youngster, obviously, you know, when you're sort of getting to grips with your limitations.
Stupid fire mistakes often happen.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, did you ever get into any fire scrapes?
Probably.
I'd have to think about it.
I mean, it's terrifying.
You should obviously never play with fire because it can so easily get out of control.
Well said.
I almost burnt a whole field down one time, you know?
Listen, this isn't about you.
Well, it's partly about me.
Go on then.
That was it.
I almost burnt a field down, yeah.
How about this one?
At a Cotswold Wildlife Park, I accidentally knocked a panel of fencing on the Ava... What's this word?
Uh, avocet?
That's an animal, isn't it?
Avocet?
We're not very well educated, isn't it?
Avocet?
Uh, at a Cotswold Wildlife Park, I accidentally knocked the panel of fencing on the avocet enclosure with my knee, and it fell in, leaving a gaping hole.
The birds ran for freedom, and I just managed to get the panel back in place before the avocets escaped and caused fear and mayhem.
Wow.
I bet you that's not how you pronounce avocet.
I don't know, but that sounds bad.
Creating like an animal stampede in a wildlife park.
Yeah, that's disastrous.
That's like Frank Spencer style behaviour.
Okay, well hold on to this one.
Somebody sent in a very similar one to one of yours, Adam, so we can talk about it a bit later.
Adam and Joe, the most silliest thing I've done was to leave my wife.
Yeah.
Says Carl.
Thank you, Carl.
And here's a very good one from Tom in Dulwich.
I saw Tom York in a sandwich shop and said to him the following.
Thanks a lot for no surprises.
It meant a lot of things to a lot of people.
that's all right what's wrong with that it's quite general isn't it no come on it's like he's reporting on behalf of other people i think that would be a good destination to do another morning is the stupidest thing you've ever said to a famous person we did that once before did we well let's do it again yeah
We think we said we had insulting things you said to a famous person before, didn't we?
Yeah.
Do you want one more?
Yeah, go on then.
This is from Nick Osborne in Twickenham.
He says the second stupidest thing he did was drink about eight pints of strong lager before heading off to a Cure concert with my buddy Tomo.
were running both literally and figuratively what late so we screamed onto a tube platform and dived into the train that was already there i turned around but tomo wasn't there i stuck my head out to see if he was still on the platform just as the doors closed trapping my face
That's cool.
Is this from Mr Bean?
Bean.
And with each jolt, my wire glasses became more and more bent.
Come on.
It was Frank Spencer.
I eventually extracted myself from face prison.
The whole carriage was in fits of laughter.
I'm sure they were, if that really happened.
I can't believe that happened.
I mean, that is colossally stupid.
Congratulations.
If there was a prize, you would certainly be very high on the list for it.
We'll have a few more of those texts soon but after this track we're going to remind you of the song wars situation so stay tuned for that but right now here's the new young pony club with Get Lucky.
different scheme.
Laminate your mind, just go you need it.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you all my love
And hang around and watch when you get shot in flames I'll let you wear my cape Recycle this if you're making a man Get a big red slap from his big white hand Recycle this if you're breaking the ban Let your girlfriend do what you want
She sounds sassy.
That's the new young pony club, not the old young pony club.
They're yesterday's news.
Yesterday's pony club.
This is the new one.
Yeah, and they're young.
Oh they're young, so stay tuned to their output for the next couple of weeks until they get old.
Yeah.
When chuck them away and move on to the next big thing.
Adam and Joanne's next music.
The old old pony club.
I hate the old old pony club.
right now it's time to remind ourselves of the song wars situation yes if you've just tuned in song wars is a brand new segment here on the adam and joe's saturday morning show i just gave it a name well done uh it's where we make songs and we play clips of them and you have to text in and vote for which one you'd like to hear in its entirety it's a kind of a creative facet to our self-absorbed little universe yeah you know and uh these are entirely
self-penned little songs and I've got a new jingle yet another new jingle for you okay so you can see what you think of this one this is a bit more medieval stroke early Led Zepp nice Who will witness someone today?
Perhaps it will be Adam Or it could be Jojo Be the one You will be the one who decides By texting or repailing When you hear the clips
You fade that bit down there.
No, keep it going.
Turn it up, turn it up.
They're like madrigals.
What happens now?
You're supposed to not listen to this bit.
Yeah, but how long did you keep doing it?
Keep it up.
How long did he keep doing it?
Quite a long time.
It's really, it's not that much now.
Shush!
Oh, what happened there?
It was a little flourish.
It was a medieval, damn it's slightly rude.
Okay, so here are the clips standby with your texting fingers six four zero four six if you want to hear Adam song text add a D if you want to hear Joe's song text Joe Jo a reminder that Joe Cornish won last week's inaugural song wars.
Why what why should people know that?
No, okay, we're not going to prejudice the voting in any way.
We're not going to find out who's winning until the very end.
It's going to be a genuine revelation to both of us.
Now we're going to play a clip of my track first.
This is Scallywag with a song about people with their mobiles on the bus.
It's called Tiny Mobile Speakers.
My mobile comes with tiny speakers in it.
Yeah there we go so that's song number one Adam's song text add to 64046 this is like the X Factor isn't it?
It's very similar and or this is song number two this is my song Joe's song this is called the public transport song and this is kind of Ben Folds five meets Chas and Dave and it's just a song about about public transport yeah?
9.30 on the 133 Some kids are throwing chips and causing misery I stand up to say
Nice harmonies there.
It does a little modulation there.
Now I hope that didn't happen to you.
Did it really happen to you there?
No.
Dislocated your jaw, they kicked you to the ground.
That's horrific stuff.
No.
It didn't happen.
My song's a lie.
Okay, good.
It's a tissue of lies.
And somebody's texted in, by the way, talking about lies.
I can't find it on the text thing.
To say that you pronounce that bird... Avocet.
Avocet.
Uh, Avocet.
the way i originally pronounced it uh speaking of uh corrections as well mark texted in earlier to say that the things the business end of a fork they are called tines okay thanks listeners for correcting us as we go along we love to be corrected yeah it's important to get everything factually correct here in the big british castle you could go to jail do you realize that everything that's broadcast by the big british castle is actually embroidered
on a big scroll by Fishwise.
Yeah, the nation's favourite tapestry, it's called.
Yeah, and it's stored, all shows are tapestryised.
Almost by a sort of tapographer.
And it's stored forever, so it's important to get things right.
Yeah, exactly.
The whole contents of this show right now are being woven as we speak.
Now it's time to return to the BBC session from Baby Bird that we tried to play earlier on.
Now whose show was this?
Baby Bird, are you there now?
Come in, Baby Bird.
Which one?
Oh, it was on Mark and Lard's and I'm pretty sure I was listening to this as it went out on the 12th of December 1995.
This is Baby Bird with Too Handsome to be Homeless.
Adam's pick of the BBC archive.
We are not crazy We steal cars because we're lazy We are not risky We are not bad We burn down houses just to make us sad I'm too handsome to be homeless I'm too handsome to be homeless
I'm too handsome to be homeless I'm too handsome to be homeless
We are not famous, we are not known We break into hotels just to feel at home We cannot read and we cannot write We make out in cars then we set them alight I'm too handsome to be homeless
I'm too handsome to be homeless I'm too handsome to be seventeen
New to Saturday night.
Introducing interesting new artists for putting great music online.
Frankly, the more startling the better.
Hopefully all the people have been crying out for us to play more adventurous music by unsigned bands.
We'll be able to find something we like in every show.
and suggest any really amazing stuff that you've found out there online.
Just let us know via the new introducing web page at bbc.co.uk slash 6music.
BBC Introducing with Tom Robinson.
From Midnight.
Two hours of new music fresh from the dead.
On BBC 6music.
Adam and Joe.
On 6music.
I see
Oh, I can't stop, I'm a soulmate
I'm a soul man.
You're not a soul man.
I am!
No, you're not.
Good film though, Soul Man.
Lou Reed.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, Lou Reed did a re-versioned version of that song for that film.
Do you remember the Lou Reed's version?
For the film Soul Man with C. Thomas Howell, which is a very politically incorrect film about a young white chap who changes the colour of his skin using dying products in order to get into a college on a bursary or something.
A minority's bursary, yeah, to exploit a sort of minority's loophole.
It's not good.
No, but he gets his comeuppance, doesn't he?
He's shamed.
Yeah.
He's absolutely shamed, the guy.
It's a little bit like, what's that film with Adam Sandler recently where they have to pretend to be gay in order to get some... I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.
There you go.
Yeah.
It's the same sort of thing, like straight white people sort of saying, oh, it's not fair, all the gays and minorities are getting all the breaks.
It's kind of insane.
So we've been running Text the Nation, our very important national survey that we do every Saturday morning here on BBC6Music, and we've been asking our listeners what the stupidest thing they've ever done is.
And it appears that all of our listeners are pretty stupid.
Glad to hear it.
Funny coincidence there.
Um, hear us, are you ready for some?
Yeah, go on then.
This is from John Samuel.
While I was at my first real girlfriend's house, I crept up behind her as she was washing up, put my hands on her breasts, and gave them a good squeeze.
Yeah.
When she turned around, it was not her, it was her mother.
Bad one.
We were not together for long after that.
I'm sure.
That's disastrous.
Very good.
Mate, that beggar's belief, though.
What a lunatic.
Sexy, though.
That is quite sexy.
Something slightly sexy about that one.
Yeah, I bet you've thought about that since.
Yeah.
Here's another one.
When I was very young, I flicked one of my testicles as hard as I could to see if it would hurt.
I was nearly sick.
Jamie in Birmingham.
I like that because it's just no, there's no reason or context.
It's just to see if it would hurt.
He's obviously never been flicked in the shower by someone's towel.
No.
That's the same sort of situation there.
Sounds like a slightly homoerotic picture you're painting.
You never got flicked?
In the showers at sports?
I've never been flicked in the showers at sports.
No, luckily.
Here's another one.
After watching Superman crush a piece of coal and produce a diamond, I believe that every lump of coal must contain a sparkling gem within.
I proceeded to scrub some coal with my mum's toothbrush for hours and hours, desperately seeking the non-existent treasure inside.
That's from Maury Hamilton in Morecambe.
Wow.
That's quite sweet.
That is sweet.
And I can totally understand where you're coming from.
I thought the same sort of thing.
When I was 11, this is from Allie in Burry.
Burry, Burry.
When I was 11, I swallowed the steel ball bearing from a screwball scramble game.
I guess that's a game.
Do you remember screwball scramble?
Can't say I do.
Anyway, he was 11, he swallows the steel ball.
My mother made me poo it into a potty to check that it came out.
It did!
It was bleached.
And said ball,
still rattles around in the game in its own tarnished way.
They still play with the same vowel blemished ball.
It's time for the news with Katherine Cracknell and Andre Payne.
Hunt for Missing Firefighters goes on.
Man Quizzed About Death of Pensioner after Business Park Row and Red Diesel Crackdown.
And in Six Music News Verve live comeback and T-Pain turns himself in.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC News at 10.30.
I'm Catherine Cracknell.
This is the worst day of my career.
In the words of Warwickshire's Chief Fire Officer William Brown there, he's been speaking after one firefighter was killed tackling a huge warehouse blaze.
Three other firefighters are still missing.
More than 80 firefighters were called out to deal with the fire which started yesterday evening in Atherstone-on-Stour.
It's thought the four firefighters were in the building when the roof collapsed.
Matt Rack is the General Secretary of the Fire Brigade Unit.
It's an extremely tragic piece of news and I'm sure that everyone around the country, indeed around the world, will be horrified by what's happened.
We need to examine what's actually happened, what are the causes of this and obviously we will do that at the present time.
There's still an operation going on.
Assistant Chief Constable Bill Holland has been updating reporters within the past half hour.
The fire is being treated as suspicious and this will remain the case until we have established the cause.
I am asking anyone who is in the area of the warehouse in Alliston-on-Stour last night, any time from 5 o'clock onwards, to contact the police and in particular we are interested in anyone who may have seen anyone acting suspiciously in the area.
In other Six Music News this morning, a 50-year-old man is being questioned on suspicion of murder after the death of a pensioner in Devon.
A 93-year-old victim was injured in an altercation at a business park in Plimpton.
Forensic teams in Italy are at a flat in the town of Perugia, where a British student was found murdered.
Meredith Kirch's body was discovered by police when they went to return a mobile phone, which had been found in a neighbouring garden.
Thousands of people are filling up their cars with illegal fuel to try to avoid paying tax.
That's according to Customs and Excise, who are doing random roadside testing.
Agricultural or red diesel is only supposed to be used in farm vehicles and is much cheaper than ordinary diesel.
Six Music Sport football and a top-of-the-table showdown this sunshine as Arsenal take on Manchester United at the Emirates Stadium.
Laguna's unbeaten at home in the league this season.
Six Music news now.
Here's Andre Payne.
BBC Six Music.
The Verve have made their live comeback after a decade away.
enemy.com says the band debuted a new, untitled song at Glasgow Academy, as well as playing the hits and ending with Bitter Sweet Symphony before the encore tickets were selling for £250 a pair.
My sons and daughters have just headed out on a big tour calling up Birmingham Bart Academy tonight and the new single Guilt Complex is out this week and Scott and Adele from the band told us they recorded it at Edwin Collins Studio in London.
It's an amazing place to record because it's just like a studio that time forgot.
It's kind of 1969 you know.
He actually recorded a single of our last record called Dance Me In.
He actually recorded that and we did it in there.
He popped in a couple of times.
He came to see our gig as well because we played a little show when we were down doing the record.
T-Pain has turned himself in after being wanted on an outstanding arrest warrant in Florida.
Police say they wanted to speak with the rapper for driving with a suspended license.
He's been released and is due to perform in the city this weekend.
On Monday, Rob Newman of Newman and Baddiel and the Merry White House Experience joins me in the studio and we'll take a look at the lives of the rich and famous and it must be true.
Join me, George Lamb, Monday morning from 10.
I'm burning
Call me the tumbler
That's nice, isn't it?
Tumbling Dice by the Rolling Stones.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC's 6Music.
Now this week, Adam and listeners, I believe I saved the capital from a terrible terrorist incident.
did you yeah i was on the underground yeah i was reading stephen king's the mist right i was deeply engrossed in the tentacle horror when uh suddenly i realized that the people sitting around me were staring in in my direction and i looked to my right i was right next to the glass partition on the on the underground yeah i looked to my right there was a brown uh briefcase lying in the middle of the floor
Utterly unattended and it looked exactly like an image.
They might put on a warning poster, right?
It looked as if it was packed full of badness Yeah, so everyone was looking at it nervously and across the way there was a kind of Portuguese man Spanish man I'm handsome.
He was handsome.
So already it's like a film with two sexy men and
Yeah.
And he had a beautiful girlfriend, she was sexy.
It was all very sexy and exciting.
It was like the Bourne... It was like the Bourne I-Brem-bessy.
Yeah.
And, uh, he stands up, I stand up, we approach the unidentified unattended bag, uh, he starts touching it with his foot to see how heavy it is.
Not kicking it though.
No, no, everybody starts going, no, don't do that!
Don't touch the bomb bag!
Don't touch the bomb bag!
Uh, but then, what happens... Is this?
i decide to go and tell the driver we stop basically we discuss pressing the red button and stopping the train in the tunnel but we think no you know if there was smoke coming from it if it was ticking maybe we do that no we'll wait for the train to get to the next station yeah so he gets the next station very british i run up the whole length of the train right because because the unattended bag is in the very rear carriage i run the entire length of the train
I'm sexy my jackets billowing behind me.
Yeah Can you imagine the other people on the tube?
What's happening?
Who's that?
The train I knock on the window of the driver's compartment.
He's a studious looking driver He's got round John Lennon glasses slightly gray hair quite thin and looks like he takes his job very seriously Yeah
what's the murder sir?
I say there's an unattended bag in the second or third carriage I'm not sure from the rear of the train we don't know what to do.
Suddenly I look behind me the foreign the Spanish man he's sexy he's wearing like a leather jacket you can't see it from this distance but I'm just giving you more detail he's wearing a leather jacket with motorbike
logos on it you know that's how sexy he is he's waving at me from the other end of the train he's shouting it's fine it's fine what what and so i say to the driver it might be fine but i'm just gonna go and check it's not the bomb bag if it is fine i'll wave at you driver said okay
Everyone on the train is wondering what the holdup is.
I run right back down the entire length of the train.
Still sexy.
A tiny bit more sexy because I'm sweating now.
It's exciting.
And I get back to the carriage.
The bomb pack's gone.
It was just a man's bag.
And he'd left it.
And while I'd been talking to the driver, he'd come back and got it.
Sorry, left my bag.
Bye.
Bye.
gone off with the bag.
So the Brazilian man goes it's fine it's just it.
Brazilian I don't know that's just topical isn't it.
He's Portuguese or something.
He goes it's fine the man came for the bag.
He doesn't speak like that.
I'm exaggerating it this is the movie version.
It can't for bag it's fine.
So I smile we sit down the best thing that happens though the train pulls away the best thing that happens is the guard comes over the tannoy.
Thanks a lot, guys, for helping me out.
No.
Like in an action film.
God props.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot, guys, for helping us out.
Community spirit.
The rest of the train's like, who?
What?
Who?
Me and the guy, we look at each other.
If it had been a film, and it had been a bomb, and more exciting things had happened, I think he would have probably got offed in the action.
Right.
And I would have copped off with his girlfriend.
With his girlfriend, yeah.
You would have consoled her in her grief, and then eventually... Exactly.
We would have kissed.
You would have... Maybe at the end.
That's a very moving story, man.
Well, that's a positive little tale of working together in the face of terrorism.
I've got a story that isn't quite so positive about the effects of terrorism and the current climate of fear.
Shall we have some music first?
Yes, let's hear from Adele right now with Hometown Glory.
I've been walking in the same way as I did Missing all the cracks in the pavement And tight in my heel and strut in my feet
Is there anything I can do for you, dear?
Is there anyone I could call?
No one, thank you, please, madame I ain't lost, just wondering Round my hometown Making Marines afraid Round my hometown
I've made Are the wonders of my world Are the wonders of my world Are the wonders of this world Are the wonders now I like it in the city when The air is so thick and opaque
I love it to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades I like it in the city when two worlds collide Look at the people and the government Everybody taking different sides
Shows that we ain't gonna stand Shows that we are united Shows that we ain't gonna take it Shows that we ain't gonna stand Shows that we are united Round my hometown Making Marines afraid Just round my hometown
Yeah.
Are the wonders of my world?
Are the wonders of this world?
I wonder Of my world Of my world, yeah Of my world Of my world
That's Adele.
She's only 19!
Born in Tottenham and raised in Brixton.
And that's her debut single.
She's been songwriting and playing guitar since she was 14.
And, uh, sounds a little bit like Winehouse there.
It's only five years.
It's not that long.
You're not impressed by that?
Nah.
No.
If she was, like, doing it since she was... If she had her first hit single at six... That would impress me.
That would be a little more impressive, but as it is... These days you're over the hill at six.
Exactly.
19?
Simon Cowell isn't interested.
You gotta give up, man, if you haven't hit by the time you're 17.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
It's all over.
Anyway, before that track, I was telling you my action-packed saving London from a terrible incident story.
Oh, I got a little bit of a burp.
Adam, what was your one?
Well, I was doing a little bit of filming for this pilot I'm doing for the BBC.
And it was a hilarious character that I was doing out in the street.
I was basically doing a spoof of those chaps with megaphones who preach tediously for Jesus on the street corners of the West End and all around London, basically saying things like... And other major cities around the British Isles.
Yes, of course.
You know, there's one guy in particular who says things like,
I don't believe in all this lying gossiping and sinning that people do I mean it's a waste of your life to use your words to go around swearing at people and using filthy language out of your mouth don't be a sinner when you can be a winner that's his name's Phil that kind of thing yeah it's quite a famous character he's not around at the moment he's on holiday I think Phil
Anyway, my version was a very pathetic satanic preacher, right?
It was quite an obvious little joke to do.
What, preaching evil?
Yeah, but he was, like, really pathetic, you know, and he's basically preaching on behalf of Satan, trying to get you on board for the dark side.
And, you know, this character I was doing had a sort of Antipodean accent, a little skidding around from New Zealand to Australia.
A home of evil.
Right, and I was wearing a wig and a moustache and a bandana and I looked a little bit like a sort of fatter version of Ron Kovic from Born on the 4th of July.
Fatter, even fatter.
Yeah, and I and anyway so and I was saying things like if you're lazy you might consider working for Satan just remember stick with Satan because the hours are great and so are the perks so don't be jerks and don't go to works.
Things like that, right?
It was pretty ineffectual, that was the point of the thing, it was supposed to be pathetic.
Anyway, after a while, I was approached by Eros, not by, I was not actually approached by Eros, I was stood by Eros in the statue, Piccadilly Circus, yeah, in the heart of London town, and I was approached by a community police officer.
Have you ever come across these guys before?
How long have community police officers been around now?
A few years.
What does he say?
This guy comes up to me and he asked me to turn off my little speaker.
And it was a very small speaker that I had, not nearly as loud as these guys with the massive megaphones.
And he told me in no uncertain terms that I was violating anti-terror laws by preaching hate.
It's illegal to preach hate.
And I said, what do you mean, mate?
And I carried on with the Australian accent because I was being filmed at the time.
So I thought, you know, staying character might be good for the show, might be good footage.
So I said, what do you mean preaching hate?
He's like, well, you're talking about Satan, talking about Satan.
I was like, yeah, but you know, I'm just, I'm not saying anything like you got to go out and kill people.
I'm just saying, you know, if you got with Satan a little bit, you might not have to work so hard, you know, just slack off a bit.
That's what Satan stands for.
And anyway, this guy was having none of it.
And I said, Who am I?
He said, Well, it's offensive, and you're violating anti terror laws.
I said, Come on, who am I offending, mate?
And he said, You're offending me because I'm a staunch Roman Catholic.
And so I said, you know, what's?
that's not your mandate is it as a community police officer to go around arresting people or threatening to arrest people who are offending you personally just because of your religious views this you know what happened to free speech it's outrageous anyway so he was sort of a little bit unsettled by that because i think it's a fair point you know what i mean what happened in the end arrested uh almost arrested and i was and then he started getting upset about my moustache he's saying is that a fake moustache that is illegal and i well i said uh i said yeah it might be
and because it was clearly a fake moustache and he said uh i said what's the problem with that and he said that's a subversive terrorist behavior that's what that's the kind of thing that terrorists do and i said you're joking aren't you come on do me a favor and then he said right i'm going to arrest you and i said no uh you can't arrest me at that point i started getting a bit freaked out right because i was working i'm doing this pilot for the big british castle
And it's a sensitive time for everybody in the castle.
And I was thinking, oh man, if I really get arrested by this guy, it's not going to be good.
That's it.
It's curtains for Bucko's TV career.
Exactly.
So he said, give us, give us your name.
And at that point, like any, any self-respecting subversive, anti-authoritarian.
He said Ronald Smudge.
Exactly.
Ronald Smudge or Andy Peters or Richard Bacon or whatever.
I just gave him my real name immediately.
That's sensible, man.
That's quite right.
I know, but it's a bit spineless, isn't it?
So I showed my true lily-livered colours just to get out of a tight spot there.
Also in the process kind of ruining the piece that I was doing.
but um man it was it was tough and i must say i felt pretty outraged really but should i tell you a couple of things yeah i'm roman catholic are you and you've insulted me really and my brother's a policeman yeah and i'm gonna arrest you okay fair enough i agree with that community policeman so let's see what phoenix the band phoenix have to say about it
Not for better Don't know what it means to me But it's hopeless, hopeless Gotta get you home Could be with anyone I think of what I've done You know it all Everything is everything The more I talk about it The less I do control everything
They own me too What they're gonna do to me I think it's hopeless, hopeless What I can't explain I'm sure you get it well Since I always wanted I always wanted you Everything is everything The more I talk about it The less I do control everything
The more I talk about it, the less I do Control everything, means everything Can't understand a word, I fuck the stuff I'm saying Riding low, riding low, riding fast The more I talk about it, the less I do Control everything, means everything
Now let's act in control
That was Phoenix with Everything is Everything.
Yeah, that was one of my picks.
Very nice.
Ta.
Yeah, thanks.
They are French, they're from France.
They are from France.
I like it.
The least thing he goes out, I do not know if he still goes there but for a while he goes out with Scarlett Johansson.
No he does not mate.
He goes out with Sofia Coppola.
Sofia Coppola, that's what I meant.
Now we are asking you to text us about some of the stupidest things you've ever done.
You know having told that story about my abuse of my right to free speech there in a way I feel as if my little
You know, a satanic preacher stunt was quite stupid, but still... Here's a stupid thing from Will in Edinburgh.
He says...
Flashing lights.
You might have fishing lights.
Some people use, some fishermen use lights to attract deep sea fish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Flashing lights.
Flashing lights onto my nose using little magnets.
I put up my nostrils.
That's a good idea.
None of my poor, poor company was amused at this wacky behavior.
So I took them off at the same time, causing the little magnets to clip together either side of my septum.
Oh.
I tried many, many things to get them out.
Fingers, skewers, sneezing, other magnets, but none availed.
So I had to make the A&E trip of shame and ask the kindless receptionist, hi, I've got some magnets up my nose, can you help?
They did, it wasn't pretty.
The doctor decided to get as many students, nurses, janitors and passers-by to come and watch this stupid idiot having them scraped out of his nose.
Oh dear.
Nice one, Will.
Here's one from a very silly Peter Green in Seward's End, Saffron Walden.
I once stayed in all weekend because the antibiotics I was taking came with a warning that said do not expose to direct sunlight.
When my girlfriend came to visit me on the Sunday evening she explained the warning applied to the tablets and not to me.
Well, I want to know how old he was.
He must have been pretty old when he was... He was 73.
Dear Adam and Joe, this is from Chris from Oxford.
When I was younger I was given the very cool goldfinger Aston Martin the James Bond toy car I guess he means with a press of a button you could make the machine guns pop out raise the bulletproof screen And shoot a small plastic man out of the ejector seat I remember that for some reason I thought it was the logical next step to insert the little plastic blue man up my nose This is a themed like a nose themed stupidity section where it remained lodged for an entire Sunday much to my mother's distress
It's scary when you put things, it's a terrible idea to put anything up your nose.
I stuffed my nose full of lavender leaves when I was a kid.
Because they smelled so nice.
I wanted to really smell them good.
I want non-stop potpourri.
So I stuffed them all the way up there and they wouldn't come out.
But they eventually decomposed.
Yeah that's awful.
Now you've got to be really careful because things can easily
disappear up there and then you're really stuffed.
It's like that's why that scene in in Total Recall where Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to retrieve the little bugging device up in his nose.
Do you remember that?
He's got a machine and it's a little robot arm and it goes in there and it grabs the thing and it pulls it out of his nose.
It's a good moment from the... Are we gonna have music?
Yeah.
We've got a trail first though.
Oh a trail.
Here's a trail for an exciting upcoming program here on the BBC.
The new sound of 6.
BBC 6 music.
In the night time.
Gideon Coe.
The basic plan is three hours of decent records, some you love, some you'd forgotten about but you might love them anyway, some you've never heard in your lives, but hopefully you'll love all the same and in and around all that as much as we can possibly manage from the huge and splendid BBC archive of sessions and live performances.
Basically, if it's any good, it's in.
It's late night, that means I get more chance to play the records I want to play.
Adam and Joe.
A simple time I came to be the man when brains were hand in round Please be up standing for the man, a simple time Or get past the cover of your books you found Please be up standing for the man, a simple time
You'll have to write a big hit song And I'll cross word puzzles while I just jump And I'll leave you there a simple turn But I know one thing and that's how I run
That's how I love
And I may be the mayor of simpleton But I know one thing that's well-earned
BBC 6 Music Closer to the music that matters.
Damn.
Open your window Won't you let her out?
Wave goodbye to the butterfly The one you can't be without Open your window Won't you set her free?
Where you are isn't where she's at Or the place she's meant to be He thinks they've grown and found Now she is as big as my serial insurance
With Brexit's heart The stars and the feathers felt like it before, yeah Does the bloke on the wall mix the ring, though I'm poor?
Makes you some kind of expert on guerrilla war Open your window, won't you let her out?
Will you give birth to the butterfly?
Won't you set her free Where you are isn't where she's at
Open your window Won't you let her out Will you give her to the butterfly When you're gonna be without Open your window Won't you set her free Where you are isn't where she's at Or the place she's meant to be Open your window Won't you let her out Will you give her to the butterfly
That's Reverend and the Makers with Open Your Window, this is Adam and Joel on 6music.
It's 6 minutes past 11 on Saturday morning.
And it en- oop, sorry.
It's time for Song Wars.
The War of
So check it out.
Sorry, I was going to say as well, in case anyone wanted to know what the track we played before that was, it was The Mayor of Simpleton by XTC.
Good stuff.
The wonderful song.
Yeah.
And yeah, it's time for a Song Wars update right now.
The theme for Song Wars this week was suggested to us by a listener.
Yeah, the listener who suggested this was Daniel from Durham, who sent us the following email during last week's show.
Quote,
I've got a great idea for the theme for next week's Song Wars.
You could do songs about taking public transport.
Imagine all the emotions that can be described.
Awkward shuffling on a bus, being annoyed by someone's mobile on the underground, and so on.
You love it, don't you?
Yeah, it's great.
Daniel from Durham.
Daniel, thank you for that email.
It was a brilliant suggestion and we've acted upon it.
And the two songs are up for your vote-age this morning.
And we've both gone for sort of bus experiences.
No, no.
Are you not on the bus?
No, my song deals with a broader range of public transport, Adam, which cannot be represented by the short excerpt Jude has chosen.
Oh, right.
These are merely clips you're hearing.
These are clips.
These are pigs through the keyhole of the song.
um and if you well we'll hear both songs in their entirety uh as the last thing songs yeah we're gonna hear both songs it's a question of who actually is voted for as the best you know we're talking it up week on week okay this is a this is a kind of you're judging these things on quality yeah yeah yeah they both get played but one for shame and one for glory exactly so here are the two clips which clip is first
Let's hear my clip first.
Let's hear Joe's this time.
Joe's song.
Wait, this is a Ben Folds 5 Chas and Dave style exploration of public transport.
Yeah, here it is.
9.30 on the 133 Some kids are throwing chips and causing misery I stand up to say
It's got a touch of sort of high school musical.
It's kind of uplifting.
The kids are gonna love it.
Right, right, right.
So that's that song.
That's Joe's song.
If you want to hear that one in its fullness, then text 64046.
Text Joe to 64046.
And now, this is my track.
This is Scallywag with tiny mobile speakers.
Here's a little extract for you.
My mobile comes with tiny speakers in it.
by my mate Matt
Now, in Through My Headphones, that doesn't sound as stereorific as it did when I was mixing it.
Sounds good, man.
But we should remind you that you can hear these songs after the show today on the website, and of course you can listen again to the entire show, this week's show that is.
And you can also hear last week's songs, can't you?
Last week's entries for Song Wars... Really?
But they're being banked for songs.
Yeah.
They're gonna be worthless.
We were thinking of releasing an album, but now...
We're going to remove them after a couple of weeks or whatever.
Hey, and here is the number if you want to hear Adam's song in full text.
Adam.
We're going to hear both in full.
Come on, that just makes a nonce.
Let's just pretend.
What's the point of pretending?
640 because if...
Because they're voting for which one is best.
Oh right, if you think it's, sorry, you're quite right.
If you think Adams is the best, text ADD to 64046.
And we've been very mature about the songs this week.
Last week there was some childish squabbling and competitiveness that lowered the tone of the show.
I don't think people have any conception of quite how competitive we are.
I think they think that it's like a joke and we're always laughing about it but they don't realize it's quite deadly serious and it could ruin pretty much anyone's day.
It's not for me.
It is mostly for you.
It's not.
I'm really chilled about it.
Let's have some more music.
I want to win!
This is a track that I chose for you.
This is Dear Hoof, and it's an amazingly strange band that I actually first saw at All Tomorrow's Parties, which is a great sort of indie weirdo festival that happens at Camber Sands.
And I saw this band, and to be honest with you, they weren't that good.
But still, they were so interesting that I went and checked out their album, and their most recent one, which is called Friend Opportunity,
It's got some amazing stuff on it.
I hope you like this.
It's quite odd and it's called plus 81 by Dear Hoof.
Get loaded with the most of me, you must Use your self-serve control, my toad.
Who's the judge?
The building building from the side to side All of a sudden thought is needed just So many many people trying hard to climb
Shopping Shoppers!
That was good man, that was very peculiar.
It sounds like the kind of music that you might have to listen to a few times to understand its structure and then might be really good.
It's strange and you know I've been enjoying them very much.
There's good stuff on all their albums.
That's Dear Hoof.
Do you know who liked it?
Who?
Gordon.
thanks gordon glad you liked it and saying thanks for the deer hoof first really good song of the day friend opportunity is the name of the album gordon i'm sure you'll enjoy it and uh the fiery furnaces are another uh band i've been listening to a lot recently who are not totally dissimilar in spirit you know what i mean like sound wise obviously a different kettle of cod in fact maybe maybe we can dig out uh dig out dig out um a fiery furnaces session track if there is such a thing for for some point
Anyway, let's have a couple more texts right now from the world of the stupid text dimension.
Says Adam, assuming I've got some prepared.
Have you not got any in your bucket?
Let me just read out one from Joe's list that we haven't had so far.
This is one of our stupid things we've
done this is stupidest things that we've ever done and now this this is one that I can relate to because I've done this many times moved my entire bedroom after 15 years in my house slept there for one night didn't like it moved it all back the next day so where did you move it all to just the next door room is when I was a
15.
I'd slept in the same room in my mum and dad's house for my whole life.
I decided I was bored of it and I'd move it.
I had quite a lot of furniture so single-handedly I moved it onto the floor below the room beside my mum and dad's bedroom.
The shelves, the bed, the desk, the computer, the stereo, every single poster, every book, video, all the toys, games, stuffed toys, everything all the way down.
Moved everything out of that room back into my room.
Arranged it, all the furniture, all the stuff I detailed before.
Took all day.
Spent one night in the new room.
Then realised my mum and dad could hear everything I was doing.
They could hear me listening to Pipes of Peace.
Yeah.
They could hear me enjoying myself late at night.
With the frog chorus.
With the frog chorus.
It wasn't with the frog chorus.
Yeah.
Well, sort of was.
And so I thought this is a bad idea.
The next day they went to lunch with someone in the countryside or something.
When they came back I single-handedly re-swapped.
What made you think it was a good idea to move in the first place?
I just wanted a change of scene.
Change of scene.
Was it a bigger room next to your parents?
I decided I was grown up.
I was 15.
I deserved to be on the grown up floor.
Right.
Not on the kiddie floor anymore.
I was wrong.
Here's another thing that's on Joe's list.
Jumped down the stairs blindfolded.
Rushed to hospital in an ambulance.
Felt fine halfway there.
Yeah, I was impressing childhood friends by jumping downstairs blindfolded onto mats.
I hit my back.
It was very painful.
Ambulance was called because you don't take any risks with back injuries.
I always felt fine after about two minutes in the ambulance.
The siren on racing through London felt fine.
Were your parents with you?
Yeah, my mum said, pretend.
just when we get there just pretend just make it feel bad at first but then make it feel like it's getting better during the examination right so that's what it was like oh yeah it's a bit sore is it no not really this is not so it's a bit
It's that kind of thing.
It was stupid.
Oh, dear.
Here's another one from a listener called Dick from Macclesfield.
During double physics, I was proudly demonstrating how many whole ginger biscuits I could get in my mouth and still shut it.
Twelve was looking pretty impressive.
Wow.
Until my spittle attacked the biscuits and caused them to fuse into a solid lump, which had to be laboriously excavated with a spatula.
No.
I can imagine that because the saliva would at first fuse the ginger gunge, and then the saliva would eventually run out.
It would start drying and you'd have a sort of a building break in your mouth, right?
What a lunatic.
A ginger one.
Well I guess a physics lesson is a good place for that to happen.
One thing, speaking of experiments that I remember doing,
as a youngster when my parents were out one afternoon I must have been about 11 maybe 10 I just went into the bathroom and I thought I'm gonna do some experimentation and I opened up the cupboard under the sink and there was a load of cleaning products there so I put the plug in the sink and I thought I'm gonna mix up a special potion and I poured in some bleach some ordinary household bleach and then I got some cleaning fluid and
uh and I popped that in there as well and I failed of course to read the many warnings that come on all these kind of items that say on no account should you mix cleaning products with bleach because they produce ammonia which is a kind of uh noxious and deadly chemical and I inhaled deeply on the resulting ammonia cloud
And we've never been the same.
I was in real pain.
You know, it felt like I'd really done some damage to my lungs.
I was just one breath of this stuff that I had.
But every time I breathed, it was very painful.
And so I was really freaked out and I was thinking, I'd say I'm going to die now.
And I went and just lay down for a couple of hours and just thought, I'm just going to pop off.
And I had no, this was before mobile phones and stuff like that.
So there was no question of me getting in touch with my parents and they were out.
I didn't know where they were.
I just thought, I'm just going to have to lie here and die.
Maybe I'll be dead by the time they get back.
It's a cliffhanger.
Let's leave it there and have a trail for the electric problems.
Will Adam live?
Is he alive now?
Is he a ghost?
The BBC Electric Proms.
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Mark Ronson and the BBC Concert Orchestra.
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Adam and Joe on six music.
Joe's pick of the BBC archive.
Oh, yeah.
Where we at, man?
We somewhere on this planet Earth.
I like the way this is going down.
Let me know.
Word up.
I'm Melo Uncle Sam.
Yeah.
Bring that to me, baby.
Did you know J visa in the house?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you ready?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you ready?
Oh, you ready for this?
Come on.
Uncle Sam, Mike G, baby bam.
Road manager, Chris.
What's up?
I got 5,000.
Boom and watch, yeah.
Baby Bam, Baby Bam, PC Pull it early, do the sound check I wanna get on but the crowd ain't about ya Let's clean our jungles so you know that I'm here Give a shout out to Smokey the Bear It's almost time, it's almost time It's almost time to blend forth the rhyme dear Any minute now, any second now I can't take you close, we're gonna sugar how Come on everybody, let's gather round Once again, we're gonna get on down Give you something to go home and talk about The hard work is just what we stayed in for
I heard you was all overdue Yeah, who's comin' through?
Y'all know who, who?
The J-B's, that's right, y'all Kickin' it loud in the stereo Rockin' you in your mind and in your drawers Word up It's just y'all, and you don't stop It's just y'all, and you don't stop It's just y'all, and you don't stop A little raw
Yeah, yeah To see your parents in you
Mexico and Puerto Rico back to toe style Toe to toe y'all, blow for blow y'all Mike G gonna show you what we know now Indeed to see the pizza's here to give you what you need JB's in the lead I took a plane cause it was just too far to swing To bring my jungle thing I packed my clothes getting ready for a trip I planned my move so my mind won't slip My coach survives with a positive message In case something hit me in the crowd why he take this His very bad brother from another land
Known to the world as the motherland African can do And will achieve to teach the world and what he believes Another brother may try to bring me down But I let me know I don't clown around If you play around then you lay around If you lay around then you stay around You see you can't keep a brother from doing his due So keep in mind JV's coming through
New York City.
Kick it alive.
Burn up.
You don't stop.
You go on to the break of dawn.
You go on to the break of dawn.
You go on and on and on and on.
You don't stop till the break of dawn.
You go on to the break of dawn.
You keep on till the break of dawn.
You go on and on and on and on.
You don't stop till the break of dawn.
There we go.
They're not going to carry on until the break of dawn.
We're going to stop them now.
It's the Jungle Brothers with JB's coming through.
That was a session pick.
And where was that from?
It was recorded for Andy Kershaw on Radio 1 on the 15th of March 1990.
Hip hop's always a bit, you know, tricky live.
Yeah, but that sounded pretty good.
It did sound pretty good.
What are they doing now?
Have they all split up the Jungle Brothers?
You know what?
I don't know.
They went in a sort of housey direction, didn't they?
And then they got a bit confused.
I think they were dropped by their record label.
I don't know.
Maybe someone out there knows what's happened to the Jungle Brothers.
Now we're going to wrap up Text the Nation this week.
Do you have any more little bits of stupidity there?
Yes, I do.
At your fingertips, Joe Cornish?
This is from Joanne in Dublin.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah.
When I was about four, I somehow got it into my head that I could rescue the eggs in the fridge and incubate them so that a little baby chick would emerge from them simply by sitting on them.
When my parents found the resultant smashed eggs around the house, they had to break the bad news to me that there would be no chicks.
I was too embarrassed to eat eggs for quite some time.
Too embarrassed to eat eggs?
PS, is the drum loop on Adam's tune sampled from I Walk The Earth by ex-beater band man Steve Mason's King Biscuit Time Project?
Yes it is.
Yes it is.
A couple of people have spotted that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The loop on my track is original.
Well, original.
That's good though, Joanne.
I think that's the stupidest thing that we've had so far.
Well, it's not a competition because they're illegal now.
They're deadly.
But were it a competition?
Were we to live in such a scandalous and evil world that competitions were allowed?
That might well win it.
I like the idea of an innocent little girl sitting on eggs to try and make them hatch.
That's sweet though.
The sweetness outweighs the stupidity there.
It does.
But that's very nice.
And thank you very much indeed everybody who texted in on our Textination subject.
Now we are pre-recording our show next week, listeners, because we are otherwise engaged.
Because you're going away, aren't you, Adam Buxton?
Yeah, that's right.
Where are you going off to?
I'm going to be away.
I'm going to be in Oxford.
I'm going to be helping Radiohead with their webcast.
No, really?
They're doing a live webcast on Friday next Friday evening on the 9th.
I think it's 9 till 12 in the evening.
How could you help them?
Well, there's all sorts of things Radiohead need from me.
Really?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
They can't do it without me.
It's all... What will you do?
I can't, I can't go into it.
It's too important.
Are you just like hanging around?
Oh no, no, it's more important than that.
Now I'm providing them with various bits of technical expertise and maybe some presentational fun as well, and who knows, we'll see how it goes.
It's fairly fast and loose, it's just Radiohead kind of talking about some of the things they're enthusiastic about, playing some songs, and I think playing some of their own material as well.
So obviously I'm quite excited to be helping them out with it, being a big fan.
Anyway, that is happening next Friday night and because it's in Oxford I won't be back in time for the show the next morning.
Why can't you get an early train?
Or a late train?
I can't get an early train.
It's not possible because I'm going to be unpacking all the stuff the next morning.
Right, so you're like a roadie.
I'm like a roadie, yeah.
Anyway, I'll tell you all about that when I get back, but it means that we have to pre-record next week's show and we're going to suggest a topic for Text-A-Nation before the end of this week's show so that you can start sending us your stories and we can read them out during our pre-record, which we'll do this week.
um but that's it for textination for the time being um now we have a track from the whitest boy alive is that right yeah yeah yeah the band is the whitest boy alive or just whitest boy alive and the song is called burning
So many people telling me one way So many people telling me to stay Never time to have my mind made up Caught in emotion and I don't wanna stop So many people telling me one way So many people telling me to stay Never time to have my mind made up Caught in emotion and I don't wanna stop
So many people telling me to stay Never time to have my mind made up Cutting emotion and I don't wanna stop So many people telling me one way So many people telling me to stay Never time to have my mind made up Cutting emotion and I don't wanna stop
This is Burning by Whitus Boyer Live.
It's now time for the news read by Catherine Cracknell and the music news read by Andre the Seal.
Digital radio, digital TV, BBC 6 Music.
Missing firefighters, the search continues.
Police hold man after pensioner dies in hospital and fuel tax dodge crackdown.
And in 6 Music News, Amy appeals on drug charge and super-ferros at the Roundhouse.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Catherine Cracknell.
The search has been continuing this morning for three firefighters who went missing tackling a huge warehouse blaze in Warwickshire.
One of their colleagues died in the fire in Atherston-on-Stour.
Police say at the moment they're treating it as suspicious.
Murray McGregor is from the West Midlands Ambulance Service.
Clearly all the emergency services work together on a regular basis and you know I think this is, we fear certainly that this is going to turn out to be one of the darkest nights in the history of emergency services in Warwickshire.
In other Six Music News, police in Devon are questioning a 50-year-old man about the death of a man of 93.
The pensioner died in hospital after a rout at the Lister Mill Business Park in Climpton yesterday.
Police in Italy are trying to piece together the last movements of a British student who was found murdered in the town of Perugia.
Meredith Kircher, who was 21, was in the country on an exchange program.
An American woman soldier is being killed in a bomb blast in Iraq.
She was part of a patrol south of Baghdad.
Two astronauts from the shuttle Discovery have begun a daring spacewalk to try to repair a torn solar wing.
It's considered a vital mission for the future of the International Space Station.
And thousands of people are using illegal fuel to try to save money.
According to Customs and Excise, they're carrying out random spot checks to see if motorists are putting agricultural or red diesel in their cars, which costs a lot less than the stuff you buy on the four courts.
But Matt Watson of Auto Express magazine has a better idea.
Make your own fuel in a vat, quite simply, from old vegetable oil.
Now you can get this probably free of charge from your local chippy.
And you just brew it up, add some chemicals, and within a couple of days you will have diesel that you can put in a diesel car.
But you have to be careful.
I've done it, I've actually made it, and it's very simple.
It's a bit smelly, and when you put it into your car, you do smell like a mobile chip shop.
Six music news now.
Here's Andre Payne.
BBC Six Music.
Amy Winehouse will appeal against her Norwegian drug charge.
According to The Sun, Amy wants to clear her name so she can get a US visa.
Her lawyer says the appeal will claim police made errors in the case.
The Sons and Daughters have just headed out on a big tour, calling at Birmingham Bar Academy tonight and the new single Guilt Complex is out this week.
They recorded it at Edwin Collins Studio in London but Scott and Adele from the band told Six Music it's not a very flash kind of place.
It's a real kind of family kind of atmosphere at that studio anyway because it's
It's not super slick by any stretch of the imagination.
Yeah, they always have the joke where they'd be like, Abby Rhodes, down the road!
If we were asked for like a separate mix or something.
And finally, Super Fairy Animals played the first of two gigs at London's Roundhouse last night.
Griff Rees wore his robot helmet and he claims to be using 50 Cent's platinum mic.
The show was compared by members of Goldie Looking Chain and the Super Fairies did a set of songs from across their career.
The Man Don't Give A got the best reaction near the end of the show.
6 Music News, your next bulletin is at 12.30.
Hear more of the best bits from the BBC Music Archive on Monday night, including session tracks from Eddie and the Hot Rods, Cold Cut and the Shop Assistants.
Also, we've got concert highlights from XTC, Blomange and 808 States.
Join me, Gideon Co, Monday from 10pm.
BBC 6 Music.
Adam and Joe.
To choose, did they cut, wear brown shoes?
Did they die?
Ever have to read about this in the news?
You're gonna have a go at the one to know I just thought that I should try and sell out to those who never exist without the generic You like to impress, I call my public You'd never exist if you wasn't generic You like to impress, I call my public I metaphorically
So maybe I do not have the time, fell like a friend tonight And it is a long time, you're doing nothing with your life I heard you felt alone, oh I'm hoping that it hurts Cause we've made teamwork sound and grammar to be credit to the good battles Who'd rather exist without being generic?
You'd rather impress, and fall by problem?
You'd rather exist if you are stationary?
You'd rather impress, and fall by problem?
Don't know
If what you say means nothing Then what you say will always mean nothing to me Did they cut out the time for the friends of mine?
A year's a long time, you're doing nothing with your life I hope you felt alright, well I'm hoping that it hurts Cause we've spent too much time together to be chronic to the devil
genetic, you're out to impress, it's hard for my public, you'll never exist if you want some genetic, you're out to impress, it's hard for my public, I'll never forget, I'll always be gone and I won't regret, I won't say I love you and never exist without her, so maybe I do.
That's Cribs with Our Bovine Public.
And Cribs are supporting the Sex Pistols when they return to the stage shortly.
Can you imagine?
Wow.
You didn't happen to catch Sid and Nancy when it was on TV the other day, did you?
No.
That's Alex Cox, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's one of the stupidest films ever made.
Really?
I haven't seen it for years.
I saw it when it first came out.
It seemed pretty good back then.
It did, didn't it?
Well, Gary Oldman is still very impressive in it, and there are individually some great things about it.
But as a kind of insane concoction of ludicrousness and just made up rubbish about what it was like then.
You know, not that I have first-hand experience, but you can tell that there's just some outrageous liberties he's taken with it.
John Lydon is famously scornful of that film.
Really?
But it's funny, it's one of those films that's so rubbishy and stupid that it's kind of worth seeing for it.
Now we're about to wrap up our Song Wars competition.
This is your last chance to text.
We're not going to play you the clips again.
Text 64046.
Vote for Adam or Joe.
And right after this next track, I think very possibly, we will announce the loser.
Oh, it's not a competition.
We will announce the less good song.
We will announce who you think has written the best song.
There you go.
That's what we're going to do.
But right now, here's a song from Prince, who's a little purple man from America.
And this is off one of his old albums.
It's called Tambourine.
The prettiest thing in life I've ever seen Close my eyes, what's it like?
What's it like inside your tambourine?
Oh my god, there I go, falling in love with a face in a magazine All alone by myself, me and I play my tambourine
Why are you the star of all my dreams?
Are you a good, are you bad?
Are you just a necessary thing?
the tambourine he says tramp trampoline the tambourine tambour tambour tambourline that's good man I love that song it's terrific which album is it from?
it's from around the world in a day Prince has the most amazing band obviously certainly used to probably still does yeah he released a couple of his band released a couple of instrumental albums under the name Madhouse do you remember those one's called Eight the other one's called Sixteen that's right and they're fantastic they're just a pure kind of jazz funk instrumental
They are pretty nutty.
They're nutty, but they're really good.
Now, folks, hey, it's time for the announcement that you've not really been waiting for.
It's the winner.
And I'm going to say that the person who has composed the best song is now going to be revealed as per your votes if you've been voting for... It's exciting.
And Joe has the envelope.
We've got an envelope.
We've been very mature.
Last week we got into some kind of slightly depressing and lowering kind of cat fighting and competitive jib-jabbery.
Well, we were getting the results as we went along last week, you know, and so that made me kind of... Set the cards among the pigeons.
There were underhand tactics going on.
We were both kind of campaigning for a sympathy vote there.
So here we go.
I'm going to open the envelope.
Didn't affect the ultimate outcome.
Are you ready?
Joe has been upset.
I'm now going to read the winner.
Joe's got it.
I've got it!
Well I'm afraid Adam, you got 32% of the vote.
What?
I got 68%.
Does it actually say how many people?
That's good news for me on various fronts.
I know you wanted the percentages there, but does it actually say how many people?
We'll find out while the losing track plays.
68%!
You know what that means?
That I can just not really bother next week.
Because...
I don't believe this.
It doesn't sound fair to me.
I think your song's better.
I think you should have won.
Well, let's hear right now.
Let's hear the song that you, the listeners, think is the less good one.
I just downloaded a wicked song onto my mobile and now I'm going to play it loudly on the bus.
My mobile comes with tiny speakers
Everyone will be impressed because my speakers is the best They passed a Chinese speaker test served by my mate Matthew Alright, must prepare to rock Passengers will get a shock when they turn round They soon will clock my tiny boom in mobile system Here we go, how can you hear it?
Even though you are not near it Does it freak you?
Do you fear it?
Which are you speakers?
Alright now this is my stop and off the bus I must hip hop I'll see you later for some more pop From my tiny mobile speaker Down the back and down the aisle From my wicked music file Cheer up friend and give us a smile What's the matter?
Don't you like good music?
Well, clearly, the answer is no.
That's brilliant, man.
Very good.
That was what was that called?
That was called Tiny Mobile.
Tiny Mobile.
That was by Shaggy.
That was by Scallywag.
Scallywag.
Sorry.
That was good, man.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
What did I get?
32% of the vote.
You're angry, but you know what?
That might fuel your creativity.
You know, that anger might fuel you.
How long did it take you to do your song?
A long time.
Took me the best part of two days.
Yeah, two days.
And if you knew what we got paid to do this show, you'd realize that we were actually going out of our way to create content.
to an unnecessary degree perhaps it might be said seeing as most people listen to this show apparently the listening peaks between 10 and 11 right and at 11 everyone goes shopping yeah so no one's actually listening it's a bit I mean from you we we we do need to do some refining on the on the whole concept because it is a bit nuts that we just play little clips you know because the both are just played the whole thing
Yeah, I know we played the whole thing now, but it's a fait accompli, you know, but the votes are cast.
And if people- I believe that if people had heard the whole song earlier, I would be now holding the- Let's have a meeting after the show.
We'll have a meeting.
Okay, but here's the song that you think is the best based on the two clips.
So if I say it like that, then it includes the idea that they might have got it wrong.
Yeah.
You know, it might be the better clip, but not the better song.
I'm being really nice.
Very nice.
Considering I won.
And my song's better.
And here it is.
This has got 68% of the vote.
This is called The Public Transport Song.
Yeah, here it is.
7.30 on a crowded tube.
My elbow's touching a stranger's boob.
The man beside me, he is reading my book.
I close the pages so he can't look.
Surely this train's a capacity now.
Ten more people got on and on.
And now we've stopped in the tunnel again Due to a bus and falling under the train Ooh, I wish I was home in my bath right now Or the park right now Or somewhere like that I don't like being trapped like a rat underground It is crap
8.30 and my bus drives past it doesn't even stop I see the driver laugh now some guy won't pay his fare so the driver stops the bus and we just sit right there 9.30 on the 133 some kids are throwing chips and causing misery I stand up
the ground.
Oh maybe I should buy a bike and have reflectors and that and cycle instead.
But I might end up dead with a truck on my head.
It's my stop.
that's good man mine's more um sincere yeah no i didn't think it was you see i think i thought your lyrics were let's talk about our songs were funny thank you for listening but uh i was gonna say you know we started the show with you sort of saying you know the charts and uh are not necessarily a reflection of what is good
And I was going to say, yeah, as proved by the listening vote today for your song.
But you know, I'm taking that back.
I thought that was genuinely good.
And I was slightly moved at one point and amused and it had everything that you could possibly want from a song.
So I nice of you to say, Adam.
Well,
I really thought I was gonna win this week, I really did.
Really?
You thought, well, you know, the fickle finger of the public.
Yeah, so listen, let me tell you what's gonna happen, because we're pre-recording a show this week, so next weekend, right, we're gonna play Song Wars as normal, but we won't tell you who's won until the following week.
But we still want your suggestions of what we should do the song about this week, so text
64046 or email even better adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and you could choose the theme for the song we were thinking it might be fun to get you to suggest lyrics that are kind of found eg stuff like instruction manuals or the radio times or a horoscope like like send in a bit of text that you want us to put to music and like it could be a really weird bit of text
right that's not a bad idea yeah if you supply us with some text then both joe and i would have to use the same bit of time find a bit of text like instructions from a medicine packet something that you think could never be a sort of emotional and moving song lyric and we'll try and make it so
uh that's an idea there but you've got to get it to us by wednesday that's when we're pre-recording the show yeah yeah so uh make sure that happens so there we go thanks for listening to those songs here's some uh some real music this is uh what is this this is the juliana hatfield 3 with spin the bottle
He's a movie star, only drives rented cars Met him in the bar, said I know who you are Took him to my party as the games were started Bottles on the ground
Am I afraid?
I can hardly wait Truth or dare, I don't care Tell the truth, I dare you When it comes around When it comes around When it comes around When it comes around Do you feel it too?
What I feel for you?
If it was just us Would you do what I do?
Everybody's watching, everybody's looking She's such a sucker He is gonna kiss me if he doesn't listen
round again
Spin the Bottle by the Juliana Hatfield III.
Very good, well done.
Who are they?
Do you know anything about them Adam?
They're not around anymore are they?
No, they're from the olden times.
They were big in the early 90s and I remember they used to have a lot of music that would turn up on that program with the lovely girl from, who's in Stardust now, Claire Danes.
My so-called life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What a great show that was.
Just released on a DVD box.
Really?
The complete series available in the shops for Christmas.
Speaking of which, there's two adverts on telly advertising the new special edition of Die Hard 4.0.
Oh, yes.
Woolworths have got it for £12.99.
Smiths have got it for £14.99.
Ash Smiths are wasting their time.
Right.
You know?
Would anybody spend £2 more just for the Smiths experience?
Maybe it's packaged slightly differently.
Why didn't Smiths realise that Woolworths were undercutting them by £2?
Smiths have wasted a massive... Oh, my stomach's making an incredible noise.
Smiths have wasted their advertising budget.
It does seem a bit- Come on, WH Smiths.
Pull your finger out.
You used to be Britain's favourite paper market.
Man.
Now you've lost it.
Come on.
Joe Cornish slams WH Smiths.
Woolies, the cute sheep, is trouncing all over Smiths.
Yeah, that's harsh, man.
That is very harsh.
You've been watching too much Dragon's Den, that's your thing.
You're so business-minded now.
It's broken.
It's a tatty.
It's tatty.
It'll fill a pot in my hands.
For that reason I'm not investing, I'm out.
Now, I'm sorry, I feel like I'm overloading you listeners with information, but we also have to deal with what the subject of Text-A-Nation is going to be for next week.
Not only do we need your lyric suggestions for Song Wars, we also need to supply you with Text-A-Nation so you can text us with your little anecdotes.
Here are the ideas so far.
Number one is things, childhood misconceptions, things that you got confused about as a kid.
Yeah, right.
I Joe Cornish used to, I discovered about tampons quite early on in life.
And it traumatized me.
And whenever I saw an advert for a temping agency on the side of a bus, which usually had a sort of sexy looking lady in a trouser suit striding towards work.
Yeah, excitedly Kelly girl temps, right.
I thought it was an advert for tampons.
Right.
And all I could imagine was what was going on under her sexy suit.
You know what?
That's an easy mistake to make.
Tampon adverts really aren't that dissimilar.
It's all about sort of empowerment and freedom.
Is that a good textination subject?
I think that's good.
Let's stick with that.
Let's stick with that.
Let's see where that gets us.
OK.
Childhood misconceptions.
And we're going to give a sort of special, we're not going to give a prize, but special kudos to the person who kind of misunderstood something about the world for the longest period.
You know what I mean?
Like you held on to a childhood misconception.
and only just realised that you'd misunderstood it when you were in your late 20s and 30s?
Yeah, the older the better.
Can you think of any examples, Adam?
Are you allowed to say no?
Just say no.
Well, I for a long time thought that it was possible to travel at the speed of light on Concorde.
Right, you thought that Concorde travelled at the speed of light.
Yeah, I thought that was the big deal.
I thought that was the big deal about it.
I thought that was why everyone was going on about it.
Speed of light.
That's true, isn't it?
That is true, and I got in a big argument about it one time at school.
And, uh, I was, I still, every now and again, I get it confused still a bit.
Like when I'm watching Star Trek and stuff and they go to Lightspeed, I think, well, big deal.
What would be better than Lightspeed?
Uh, no, no, something like Thought Speed.
thought yeah speed of time stinks i don't know smell speed anyway so that's our suggestion misconceptions confusions for childhood confusions that we've sort of clung on to text uh six four zero four six can they text no they have to email really adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk right now this is the very last track thanks for listening thanks to everybody who's uh texted and emailed their messages of support for our new saturday morning show we very much appreciate it yeah we really do and we we certainly hope that we're
Just going to keep getting a tiny bit better.
Keep getting work.
Now here's a track, final track.
I chose this one.
I hope you like it.
This is from a band called Guided by Voices, who I'm sure many of you will be familiar with.
What a great band they are and one of the most prolific songwriters as well in the kind of indie pop world who's still going strong.
Robert Pollard.
Just like a smattering of some of his song titles, his delightful song titles.
Postal Blowfish, Psychic Pilot Clocks Out,
Scorpion Lounge Shut Down, Hardcore UFOs, Christian Animation Torch Carriers.
He is the king of the excellent song title.
And this song title is not so great.
It's fairly straightforward.
But the song is amazing.
It's from the album Isolation Drills.
This is The Enemy.
Thanks for listening.
Bye!
Yeah, we'll see you next week.
Bye!
Look me straight Now blame it on loneliness Who knows?
Certainly not dead Where is this?
And silence is dead Cause look what you've done
watching weight a childhood survival kit dressed for a glimpse of the everlasting big kick
you