And you're Mary Tyler Moore I don't care what they say about us anyway
Don't you ever fear, I always care I know that you'll be there
I don't care about us anyway.
I don't care about that.
I don't care about that.
Bang, bang, knock on the door.
Gotta bang, bang it down on the floor.
Oh no, what do we do?
Don't look now but I lost my shit.
I can't run and I can't kick.
What's the matter babe, I'm feeling sick.
What's the matter, what's the matter, what's the matter to you?
What's the matter babe, I'm feeling blue.
What they say
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
All right, then.
I'm on.
Yeah, good.
That was Spuddy Holly by the band, the rock band.
I forgot what they're called.
Weezer.
There you go.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
Welcome to our brand new Saturday morning show.
Can you believe that they've led us back to do a Saturday morning show?
Into the big British castle.
We're very honoured and we're privileged to serve you listeners with piping hot early morning Saturday musical cakes.
We'll be here for the next 42 weeks.
42,000 weeks.
What does it say on that contract?
It said a year.
A year for a penny a minute.
At least a year for a penny a minute.
And unless anything goes wrong, you know, because it's easy to put a foot wrong in the big British castle these days.
Remember, listeners, we're paid almost nothing.
So don't get angry on any kind of, you know, license fee level.
No, this is like a charity we're doing here.
We take the tube into work.
They wouldn't even send a little card.
You can't believe that, can you?
I had to get the tube into work with a man who was sneezing.
A member of the public with public disease.
Why do you like having cars sent for you?
Because it makes me feel special.
Makes you feel important doesn't it?
Yeah and now I just feel normal.
Get used to it, it's the radio.
Anyway we've got loads of great music coming up for you in the next three hours is it?
Yeah and we should say thank you very much to Jen Bristow for taking control over the early morning slot.
Having said that, she has left the studio like a pigsty.
Oh come on, it's not that bad.
There's some little bits of paper on the floor, I've cleaned those up.
There's still the detritus, the breakfast detritus over there in the corner though, the bran flakes in there.
Is that a new type of cereal, detritus?
Kellogg's detritus.
It's really nice.
It's just all the bits that sort of go to the bottom in the cereal factory.
Did you watch QI last night?
No.
They had a little thing about what constitutes dust.
And you know, there's a popular misconception that it's mainly skin.
Really?
Incorrect.
Really?
Skin makes up a very small portion.
I've got a story about dust.
Of dust?
How about for the first link of a brand new show.
Before my story about dust, here's some music from Calvin Harris.
This is called Colours.
Now I don't care what you dress like or what you wear But please make sure baby you've got some colours in there Now it's all very well stepping out in black and white
Don't care what you dress like Or what you wear But please make sure baby We've got some colours in there Now it's all very well stepping out In black and white But you're no girlfriend of mine
Now I don't care what you dress like Or what you wear
You've got some colours in there Now it's all very well stepping out in black and white But you're no girlfriend of mine if you're doing that right
Yeah Uh, uh, uh
This is the new cycling safety song there from Calvin Harris encouraging you to wear bright colours if you cycle at night now that the evenings are drawing in.
What are you talking about?
I'm telling the listeners what that song's about.
Right.
cycle proficiency yeah Calvin Harris yeah he's his diction there you know he's very slovenly he didn't say much did he yeah it just sounds a little grumpy apparently he is a little bit grumpy really yeah well was are you saying that because he was here in the six music hub while we were doing he came in once for sure apparently and he left a trail of grumpiness like a lot he was slightly uncooperative jetway interview what's the word I'm looking for wake
like a grumpy wake a disco way yeah well there we go there's his new single it's called colors and i'm pleased to say unlike the uh is it late 80s or early 90s uh that hip-hop film called colors with dennis with dennis hopper colors colors colors colors that's how the song went colors colors colors yeah dennis hopper and sean penn wasn't it it was quite a good film it was a good uh unlike that film it's spelt with a u yeah yeah it's the proper british spelling yeah that's right well done harris
Well done Harris.
Can I just get something off my chest before we hear your story about dust?
Which I very much want to hear.
How do you spell realised?
Do you spell it with an S or a Z?
It's an S in the UK but it's a Z in America.
So on your spell check on your computer.
yeah on Microsoft Word and other American programs it will highlight those S's.
But I'm sure I go into preferences of most of my applications and tell them that it's an English spelling set that I require and still still I'm told every time I write the word realize that I'm incorrectly spelling.
Well maybe listeners can help us with that kind of thing you can text us Adam and Joe dot six what yeah is that really what is that?
Is this all part of the address?
Adam and joe.6 music at bbc.co.uk now complicatedly there is a capital a of the and don't worry about it it's not case sensitive okay so it's adam and joe.6 music at bbc.co.uk now the clocks are going back tonight which means it's officially autumn
And to celebrate that I've chosen a special track from Hecate 100's album Pelican West.
That's a peach of an album.
It's an old album, younger listeners might not know of it, but it's very good.
We always go on about this album every time we're on the radio because it's a smash and it bears up very well.
Yeah, his calling Captain Autumn.
Dust Story coming up.
By Hecate 100.
Ah!
100 with calling captain autumn that's more jazzy funky than i remember it yeah it's slightly i love that song it's slightly pathetic isn't it yeah because it conjures up an image of a superhero called captain autumn and if that isn't bad enough it also conjures up the image of like a gang of grown-up men who need to call him in well the superhero captain autumn is nick hayward and he wears his uniform it's always wears cricket whites though it's a big
Woolie jumper and it's tucked into his corduroys his high-waisted trousers.
That's kept in all trousers Yeah, and he just runs around guys It's true and by going buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh he makes leaves appear
And he makes autumn arrive on all the trees.
Why are we calling that song Pathetic?
It's brilliant.
It's brilliant.
And so if a baddie comes along he will command the leaves to swarm over the guy.
Yes.
Is that even, like in Brazil?
They've got some dog plops in them.
Do you remember the scene in Brazil where that bloke is covered by bits of newspaper.
By red tape.
That's right.
and he could do a similar thing with leaves.
Tell us your dust story.
My dust story very quickly, Adam was talking about QI that was on last night and they were discussing what dust actually is.
My story was a letter in the Fortean Times where somebody was, you know the Fortean Times, like a paranormal magazine?
Yeah.
People who are into the paranormal are obsessed with orbs in photos.
Take a digital photo, you'll see a little weird orb on it.
Right.
Paranormal people think they're ghosts.
The rest of us understand that it's light reflecting off dust.
Yeah, or the lens.
14 times tried to make this clear to one of its readers, you know, they're not ghosts, it's just dust.
The reader's reply to that was, yes, but what is dust?
The reader was suggesting dust is actually ghosts.
They didn't mention that on QI last night.
Well they're very stupid.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
This is our new Saturday morning show.
We're what?
17 minutes in.
It's going okay isn't it so far?
It's going very well.
We've got an award.
Have we?
Yeah.
Wow.
What sort of award?
It's a BAFTA.
Cycling Proficiency Award.
No it's a BAFTA.
Oh really?
Yeah for the best first 17 minutes.
It's a new award.
I heard it was for best film.
Is it?
Yeah.
I didn't realise.
Yeah, it's for Best Film.
Isn't that exciting?
Go on BAFTA.
Listen, if you want to text us, you can text us on 64046.
If there's anything you hear that makes you think a thought, you know, you can text that thought to us or you can email us adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Now later on in the show,
We have a couple of exciting features.
Look at my exciting features.
First of them is called Text-A-Nation.
That's something we did a while back when we were depping for Sean Keaveney.
That's what we call it here on the radio.
It's Britain's favourite feature.
That's right.
Text-A-Nation.
Britain's favourite feature.
It has a jingle.
It's the people's feature.
And we're going to be playing that a bit later on.
i say playing that that's really picking it up much too much isn't it but then later on something that we really will be playing because we need your help well we need your help for texanation as well but we are going to be playing song wars yeah we're going to have a competition me and adam basically have composed
A new song each.
A brand new piece of song.
We haven't heard one another's songs.
Both the songs are themed.
That's right.
We'll tell you the theme a bit later.
We're going to need you to text in an email in and vote for which song you want to hear played.
The feature's called Song Wars.
It's a bit like Star Wars only with songs instead of the stars.
Exactly.
Instead of the Rebel Alliance and the Evil Empire.
It's like two songs.
Yeah.
And neither of us are really evil.
That would go, that would be going too far.
I think you're evil.
Really?
You're a little bit evil.
Yeah.
Maybe you're right.
Yeah.
Not badly.
Not like horribly evil.
Just a little bit.
Uh, now should we play some music?
Is that what you mean?
Just a bit cheeky.
A trail?
What's in the trail?
This is Jude speaking here in the background.
Let's have a telly trail.
Oh, fantastic.
Spooks continues on BBC One.
It's shed out of activity the last few days.
Strange lights, weird shapes in the sky.
When a small plane comes down near an American air base.
There were highly toxic chemicals on the plane that crashed.
Things take a turn for the worse.
Roz, get back to me as soon as you can or hell is breaking loose here.
If we get this wrong, his death will be the first of many.
They've been lied to us about everything.
No wonder they're so keen to stop us.
Spooks, Tuesday night from 9 on BBC One.
You lost your love of life Too much of my whole heart In my highest thoughts, no way it's honest love You've gotta get some people up You've gotta let some people go But a place that you just hung up
Oh, I really want to know, because Everybody loves their savings, so
This is why You've gotta pick some people up You've gotta let some people go But if Lee's name just come up Well I really want to know because Everybody loves that TV show
that's good isn't it i've never i've never heard that before the wedding present that's a big gap in my musical knowledge i've never actually heard that before i've never heard that actually i've never heard that before ashley i've never heard that before actually ashley i've never heard that before
It was the wedding present.
With a song called Kennedy.
Now what sort of Kennedy would that be?
Is that a song about Sarah Kennedy?
Or is it a song about Kennedy the MTV VJ who was popular in America in the 80s?
Or is it a song about Kennedy's the Australian chocolate snack?
Or is it a song about John F Kennedy the president of Birmingham?
no of well president birmingham that's correct this is adam and joe this is bbc6 music uh this is our brand new saturday morning show and it's time to launch the first of our important features the nation's favorite feature it's text the nation what if i don't want to but i'm using email is that a problem it doesn't matter
So there you go.
Was that loud enough?
All you need to know was contained in the body of the jingle.
That jingle must be played loud.
Text the nation.
Yeah, I think it was, but next time keep an eye on that.
Text, text, text.
Thanks a lot.
Can you shut up?
What are you doing?
Just taking control of the technological side of this show.
Do it in your own time.
Sorry mate, keep going.
So what we want you to do, folks, is text us or, as it was made clear in the jingle, email us, or you could send a telegram or a written letter.
But not just about anything.
No.
No.
It's about a subject.
A very specific subject.
And this morning's Text the Nation's subject is, uh, altercations with shopkeepers that have got out of hand.
Right.
Right?
You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Adam?
Man, my whole life is an altercation with a shopkeeper that's got out of hand.
Adam and I are always in shops holding something broken, trying to stand up for our rights.
Listeners, has that happened to you?
Have you been into a shop and had a kind of confrontation with the shopkeeper over something the shop sold you or some kind of transaction that's gone wrong?
And has that conversation spiraled out of control?
It doesn't even have to be like something you've bought from them.
A lot of times I haven't bought anything.
I'm just at the I'm interested in buying something stage and suddenly it all gets away from me.
It doesn't take very long, only a minute or something.
It most often happens in the technical zone in Tottenham Court Road.
You know what I mean?
Because those guys, it's like a kind of bargaining market there.
And there's a sort of weird...
blurry line about like is the price fixed or can you haggle for it or what?
So you're never quite sure what the rules are.
Right after a song in the news we're going to tell you our best altercations with shopkeepers but if you've got one do text it in 64046 or email adamandjoe.sixmusic.bbc.co.uk but right now it's music time.
It is.
Yeah.
Oh this is a song.
I thought it was a different one but it's Estelle.
No it's not.
oh it's not no it's it is a song it's minktaville this i chose this one it's good man spanish stroll check it
Mr. Jim, I can see the shape you're in.
Finger on your eyebrow, and left hand on your hip.
Thinkin' that you're such a lady killer.
Think you're so slick.
Brother Johnny, he caught a plane and he got on it Now he's a raiser in the wind And he's got a pistol in his pocket They say the man is crazy on the coast Lord, there ain't no doubt about it
Sister Sue, tell me baby what are we gonna do She said take two candles and then you burn them out Make a paper boat, light it and send it out
Oh.
Hey Johnny they looking for you man
That's Mink Deville with Spanish Stroll.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6music.
Time for the news right now, read by Rachel Matthew.
Digital radio.
Digital TV.
BBC 6 Music.
Life and death power for nurses call for tougher fireworks laws and one missing from Take That.
BBC 6 Music.
BBC News at 9.30, I'm Rachel Matthews.
Senior nurses are getting the power to decide whether a patient should be resuscitated when they have a heart attack.
Until now, only doctors have been allowed to make that call.
Dr Sarah Jarvis is a family doctor.
There doesn't seem to be much clarity about
Which nurses will be qualified to do this?
We do need to bear in mind though that resuscitation very rarely works.
Certainly it doesn't work in the way that it always seems to work on the television.
Perhaps one in 20 occasions it works and the rest of the times it doesn't.
The MOD is holding a major inquiry into possible brain injuries suffered by British soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Questionnaires are being sent out to troops to see if they have depression, anxiety or memory loss caused by being near explosions.
Fire chiefs want the government to toughen up the rules on fireworks.
They say there's a big growth in the number of illegal ones being sold here, and the profits often fund organised crime gangs.
Andy Hubble from the British Paratechnists Association wants tighter controls.
If these fireworks are tracked right from the point of entry, right through to the point of sale, and there's much higher scrutiny of what comes into the country, then it will be a good thing.
I mean, we'd be quite happy to see the end of the illegal fireworks market.
An 11-year-old boy has fallen 100 feet to his death while on a family walk on Snowdon.
It's understood the boy who was from the Liverpool area slipped and tumbled down the Crib Gough section of the mountain and suffered severe head injuries.
A 12-year-old boy from Gateshead is being treated in hospital for serious injuries after he was attacked by a Staffordshire bull terrier last night.
The boy was bitten on both arms and has already undergone a skin graft operation.
The dog is now going to be put down.
Take That had to go on stage as a threesome last night after Howard Donald pulled out with a chest injury and was taken to hospital in Vienna.
He hurt himself while performing.
Finally, we'll get an extra hour in bed tomorrow.
British summertime ends at 2am when the clocks go back an hour.
The weather, a mixture of showers and bright spells, mild though, with temperatures ranging from 16 celsius in London to 12 degrees in Edinburgh.
That's The Six Music News, next bulletin, 10.30.
Six.
Six.
On Monday night, I bring you more live tracks from the BBC Music Archive, including The Libertines, Dead Can Dance and Secret Affair.
And I'll also feature tracks from Six Music's night at the BBC Electric Proms.
Join me, Gideon Coe, Monday from 10pm.
Six Music.
Adam and Joan from Six Music.
My love got all the same, but I don't wanna use it all.
Feel it, feel it, feel it, baby.
Baby, come on, yeah.
If you have a heart, God, give me, baby, you're gone.
If I find yourself, I'll catch you.
Yeah, baby, I thought what God would say, but I
Feel it for a minute like the real thing Baby, I guess I already forgot What I thought I was saying But all I wanna do is get on Feel it
Like it or not Like a ball in a chain All I wanna do is get off The needle for a minute Like a real big baby Oh yeah I already forgot What I thought I was saying All I wanna do is get off The needle for a minute
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
there you go the nation's favorite feature before that you heard the dandy warhols with the second of their only two memorable tracks which is uh what was that one called get off get off it was good though wasn't it as good as bohemian like you and considerably better than all the rest of their songs not as good as prince's get off though no no that's true that's true but anyway text the nation
Yeah, Text the Nation is the people's competition, right?
Here on Adam and Jo's radio show on BBC6 Music.
We'd like you to text in or email in on the subject of altercations you've had with shopkeepers in shops.
Yeah.
OK, so here's mine.
Go on.
And it happened in the Tottenham Court Road this week.
This week?
I was in a bad mood.
I bought a new phone recharger.
right that made me angry already because phone rechargers are like electric toothbrush heads they gratuitously design them differently for each model so you have to buy a new one what was wrong with your old one misplaced it blew up blew up so I took it into the shop in Tottenham Court Road and I was not gonna I was getting it exchanged I wasn't gonna stand for anything else knew it had broken they'd sold me a shonky charger I was having it exchanged I'm gonna do the shopkeepers accents in French
Even though they weren't French right, but it just might be you know more acceptable if I do them in French Yeah, so I said I said look here.
This charge is broken.
I bought it.
I had the receipt I bought it a couple of weeks ago Swap it for a new one, please.
Yeah.
Yeah said the shopkeeper
I said, why not?
I've got the receipt.
You sold it to me.
It's broken.
I want a new one.
Because it is a charger.
You might have plugged it into a plug with the wrong voltage, says the shopkeeper.
I'm like, well, yeah, but no, I didn't.
I didn't do that.
I used the correct voltage.
It blew up.
Surely.
And at that point I invoked the sales act.
Do you ever go that now?
I don't know what the sales act is.
Is there a sales act?
Does anyone else do this out there listeners?
Have you ever invoked the sales act without knowing what it is?
Start talking about your consumer rights.
I said now look.
Now look here chum.
Chum.
The sales act.
uh what you're trying to do is against the sales of goods act i said at which point i'm sure i saw him smile slightly of course he did then repress it he said no it does not uh electrical chargers
My friend, I'm very sure there is no such thing as the sales act.
No, come on, there is such a thing as the sales act, but he was arguing that it didn't apply to charges and things that rely on a standard voltage, right?
And he was quite articulate about this.
It was as if he knew what he was talking about, which slightly flummoxed me.
So I was ridiculous.
What's your name?
At this point, I got out a piece of paper and I started... I was thinking I was not going to have this.
I wanted a new charger.
I noted his name down as if I was going to contact a solicitor.
I didn't actually say that but I was very all my body language it was like right I've got a solicitor I'm you know this is hardcore you've messed with the wrong guy gonna take this to the bank you've messed with the wrong guy yeah I'm bringing your electronics outlet down at any point did you say I have a radio show on BBC
Now that's tempting and if you're listening and if you have any any kind of role in the media in a situation like this it is always very tempting a bit like being a prefect at school you know to say but I'm a prefect.
You've done that before though haven't you?
When you've been in confrontations you told me that you have.
Well let's talk about this affair during the next sock.
You said I work for the BBC.
It's not relevant to this story because I didn't do it at this point.
but I did take out a piece of paper.
I jotted down his name.
He looked quite sad when he gave me his name.
And then he said, uh, did you use the charger abroad?
Uh, because often, uh, power fluctuates when you are abroad.
The answer to that question was yes.
I then realized that yes, I'd been in Los Angeles and I plugged, tried to charge my phone in Los Angeles and that's where it exploded.
So at that point I realized in my head, oops, I was wrong.
And they were right.
But did I confess that?
No.
I took his name.
I took the name of the man next to him.
I wrote them on the back of a very small receipt.
I tucked them in my wallet and said, right, we'll see about this.
You'll be hearing from me again.
And I walked out of the shop.
Well done, sir.
And as I walked out of the shop, I thought, right, for the next two weeks, I'm not going to walk in front of that shop again.
I'm going to walk on the other side of the road.
So there you go, an embarrassing altercation in a shop.
It went too far.
I came out like an idiot.
We're going to have a song before we hear Adam's altercation.
And if you've got, like, an embarrassing confrontation you had in a shop,
text it to us 64046 or if it's too verbose and involved we love long stories.
Put it in an email and send it to adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk please.
Now here's guilt complex with sons and daughters or is it the other way round?
The other way round.
It's sons and daughters with guilt complex you idiot.
She has a girl complex, break her neck And now she's run run running right over the edge Had a girl complex, poison pen She's signing her name and she's forgetting her friends Had a girl complex, break her neck
The labyrinth is all that she's made of And everybody knows He has a gelt complex, break his neck News run run, running right over the edge Had a gelt complex, poison pan Signing his name, forgetting his friends
Now he suffers, suffers, suffers, destroys himself All you see is all you'll get, he's trying to buy
He is what you'll get The style you'll see in stress
Delightful.
That's a new addition to the playlist here at Six Music.
That's sons and daughters with guilt complex.
And here's the thing.
Guilt is spelt G I L D. No U. So it's like she loves the complex so much that it's guilt.
You know, it's shiny.
She doesn't feel guilt with a U, does she?
No, she's guilty about nothing.
Yeah.
Instead, she's got a complex about shiny.
Then she's gilded it.
Yeah.
And it's now guilt.
That's what something guilt is, right?
It's something that you've gilded.
Like a lily.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Does anyone ever gild lilies?
Someone does, there's a little guy.
And I'm not talking metaphorically.
No I know, literally.
Literally.
There's a guy, you can get them done for like birthdays and stuff.
Really?
I'm pretty sure.
What happens when the lily inside the gilt like goes rotten?
No it doesn't because the act of gilding it keeps it sort of... So it kind of goes rotten and dry inside the inside the gold, the gilt?
It's like putting something in aspic or sealing it in resin.
Really?
Yeah.
I learned so much on this program from you Adam you're like you know if there isn't a service that guilds lilies there should be surely like absolutely in this day and age you know yeah there you go take that into the dragon's den yeah take that hey it's a stupid idea it's not gonna sell them for that reason i'm out i love your impression of that guy who is that guy i don't dunkin valentine i think i don't know you're
I don't know what you're going on about.
I don't understand a word of it.
It sounds very stupid to me.
I'm out.
I love the idea that you would do a French accent because you think it's offensive to do an Asian accent or whatever.
But your Scottish accent you're fine with.
Like with all the Scottish people that would be hearing that accent.
That's not a Scottish accent, that's specifically Duncan Ballantyne.
If I've got his name right, I may have got his name wrong and the accent wrong.
This is a show where things are wrong.
Now we are engaged in Text the Nation, the nation's favourite feature.
We are asking people to send in their stories about altercations with shopkeepers that have spiralled out of control.
Joe, have you got any texts there?
I have, Adam, but I'm not going to read any out yet.
Teasing the texts!
Yeah, I need to read through them, I need to filter them and edit them.
Now I was just trying to think about my most impressive altercation story, but the thing is I've had so many, and many, many of them have been in Tottenham Court Road.
But there was one recently I had that wasn't in Tottenham Court Road, it was in Regent Street, it was a big popular toy shop.
I know that big popular toy shop.
I've told this story elsewhere but not on the radio recently but it was it was an incident that happened when I went in there I bought a load of stuff and then the girl automatically behind the checkout started putting them in plastic bags and I said it's okay I don't need a bag thank you I have a bag
And she said, oh, you've got to have a bag.
And I said, no, it's okay.
I don't need one.
I've got a bag.
Look, I have a bag.
Like you had a rucksack.
I had a rucksack.
I'm a nerd.
I carry a rucksack.
I don't need bags.
Plus the bags are killing the planet.
And anyway, she refused to let me leave the shop without a bag.
I mean, it was just rank insanity.
And at first I thought like she was just being a bit silly.
But then it suddenly switched within a very few short moments to being so mad, but also like a fantasy situation, you know, very seldom.
Like your story that you were just telling about your guy and your charger, you found out that you were kind of in the wrong there.
In fact, pretty much totally in the wrong.
But in this situation I was totally in the right which doesn't happen to me very often and this girl was clearly being unreasonable and had Misunderstood the shop so she wanted she she insisted you put your goods in a bag because she thought they'd think you'd stolen them Exactly every customer who bought stuff had to have a plastic.
That's right She understood incorrectly that it was shop policy to force a back holder on
this you got in an argument yeah I said voices were raised that's right well no I tried not to raise a cause tried to stay cool because I thought listen Buxty this is your one time in in the right but she got stroppy but she got very sort of thing was she saying and sarcastic she was just like look sir can you just take the bag and leave and I'm afraid you do have she was the whole attitude was very unhelpful
And sarcastic, you know what I mean?
So I said, listen, just get the manager, will you?
Just get the manager.
So she eventually got them and she was tutting at me and shaking her head and stuff like, oh, and there was, you know, cause people were being held up in the queue and stuff.
Everything about this girl was like, you are an idiot and you're making my life a misery just by refusing to have this bag.
And of course eventually the manager came along and said, no, he doesn't need a bag.
Of course he doesn't.
That's fine.
And then she, and then after the manager had left very loudly, she said to me in front of the rest of the queue.
Thanks very much for making me look like a total idiot.
I felt like saying, well, you know, that was something that you got yourself into there, pretty much.
Don't you reckon?
Have you got a worse shop altercation?
I think when you call the manager, that's when we're interested, right?
When the manager is summoned, when you try and go over the head of the person who's serving you, text your story 64046, or email adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
It's time for an exciting track chosen by Adam.
Now, yeah, this is a lovely track.
This is from the Eel's last album.
I think it was their last album, wasn't it?
And it's called, I think, Blinking Lights, and it's a long album title.
It features the words Blinking Lights in it, and it's a brilliant album.
And this is a track called To Lick Your Boots.
Miss O'Malley didn't mean what she said Got a heart but a head full of lead She can dream but she never can do it You're alright and you're gonna get through it People spend their days trying to find new ways To put you down all over town But they're not fit to lick you
Nothing harder to watch than an Englishman Trying to cry even if he can't He can dream but he never can do it Saying to you, you're the one that knew it People spend their days trying to find new ways To put you down all over town But they're not fit
People spend their days trying to find new ways To put you down all over town But they're not fit to lick your boots
Six Music at the BBC Electric Proms.
Today from 4.
The Queens of Noise take their sonic safari to the Roundhouse with guests Noah and the Whale, Laura Marling and Kid Harpoon.
Tomorrow from 1.
The Music Week will be reviewing the best of the Electric Proms and you'll hear concert tracks from the festival throughout the weekend and Monday.
Six Music at the BBC Electric Proms.
Hello, how you doing?
This is Adam and Joe.
Fine, thanks.
I wasn't talking to you.
And we're here on 6music.
This is our new home on 6music from 9 till 12 every Saturday morning.
That's where you'll find us for better or worse.
And before the trail there you heard Eels with To Lick Your Boots, a track from their album Blinking Lights and Other Revelations was the name of the album, I think.
Here's a text from Damon, Damien in Bristol.
He's responded to our request for you to send in stories about terrible altercations in shops.
It's our Text the Nation theme this week.
I think it's Damien, D-A-M-E-O-N.
Damien.
Damien.
Damien.
Damien says I bought cheap batteries from an army surplus shop that didn't work in stereo.
I bought cheap batteries from army surplus shop that didn't work in stereo, right?
Does that make sense?
In a stereo.
He hasn't put in the smaller words.
Right.
He's just dealing in big words.
He hasn't got time for little words, Damien.
Because maybe he put the batteries in and suddenly everything was mono.
Took back to shop, dash, refused to give money back.
Got angry.
Dash.
Threw batteries across shop into army surplus.
Said some rude words.
Went home with new batteries from another shop.
Didn't work in stereo either.
Felt bad.
I like the way Damien used synopsize everything just with the keywords.
Well, he's texting, isn't he?
No, he's emailing.
Oh, he's emailing.
Bought cheap batteries.
Took back to shop.
Refused to give money.
They're like bullet points.
It's like Johnny Vaughan language.
That's right.
Uh, but you know you've made several mistakes there, Damien.
You've tried to buy batteries from an army surplus shop?
That's a secondhand store, isn't it?
They're gonna be secondhand batteries.
Then he's got angry and thrown the batteries across the shop.
That's a very big gesture.
We don't encourage that.
Batteries are heavy things.
If they'd struck a toddler...
or smashed a window, you would have been in terrible trouble.
Man, if they'd gone in, if they'd even like brushed someone's sleeve, that would have been, you could have got sued.
All sorts of legal action could have ensued.
And then it seems that at the end of the day it was his stereo that didn't work, not the batteries.
That's right.
What are you thinking about?
Keep those texts and messages coming in.
Thank you, Damien.
You know, you're not a buffoon.
I'm wrong about that.
You just had a bad moment.
Yeah.
A buffoon-y moment.
Now here's a session track chosen by me.
This is Uros Eiros.
We're still not quite sure how to pronounce his name.
We had a big debate involving a lot of our Welsh listeners while we were filling in for Sean Keaveny on the breakfast show on whether to pronounce Uros Child's name Uros or Eiros.
Iros I think is the... We think it's Iros.
This was recorded on February the 6th 2006 in the hub here at BBC 6 Music for The Freak Zone.
That's Stuart McConie's excellent show.
This is called My Country Girl.
Joe's pick of the BBC archive.
My baby gives me peace of mind Hold my mind in the city With my heart with my country girl
My country girl's got the right way of living She don't just do the drinking well, she does give in
And when she put her hand in her mind My heart went bomb, she did oom-pom-pom-pom Pictures seem well some years from now I'm baking cakes and she's milking a cow Oh, my mind's in a city where my heart's will have gone
city, but my heart's with my country girl.
Oh, oh, my mountain city, but my heart's with my
That was the lovely Arros Childs with Country Girl.
We love his work.
Absolutely.
We've been into him since day one, man, with gawky zygotic monkey, one of the most underrated bands who split under the pressure of the public's general disinterest.
Really?
Well, that's part of the story.
It's happened to quite a lot of good bands, hasn't it?
Of course.
The list is endless.
Beat a band.
That's the end of the list.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music, our new Saturday morning slot.
Now, it's Song Wars time soon.
Yeah.
And Song Wars is another new feature.
What am I saying, another new feature?
It's the new feature.
It's the other new feature.
Adam and I have both written a song, they're themed songs, and we're going to ask you to vote for which song you want to hear.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
So stay tuned for that.
But first of all, we have, what are we doing?
Oh, song by the Cribs.
Sorry, that wasn't very professional, was it?
I'm still a little bit confused as to what I'm doing here or who I am.
This is the Cribs with Our Bovine Public.
Here it is.
So maybe I'll do a hug The time fell when the flames were mine And it is a long time, you're doing nothing with your life I heard you fell a line, oh I'm hoping that it hurts The secret to work sounded glimmer To be glad and to the goodbye loss You never exist without being generic You're out to impress and for my profit You never exist if you want some generic You're out to impress and for my profit I'll never fall
You say nothing, so you'll always mean nothing to me And if what you say means nothing, then what you say
Ooh, said they can't have the time, no other friends of mine A year's a long time, you're doing nothing with your life I heard you felt alone, well I'm hoping that it hurts Cause we've been too excited, got meant to be glad, and treated to violence You never exist without being genetic You're out to impress, artful, and public You never exist if you want such genetic You're out to impress, artful, and public
BBC Six music
BBC Six Music Closer to the music that matters Adam and Joe BBC Six Music It's way too late To be this locked inside ourselves
With something real
That's Interpol with Khmer!
Is that like come here as in come here?
Yeah I think so.
Come here.
Where is it?
How's it spelled?
C apostrophe M-E-R-E.
Oh right it is.
That's very good.
Come here.
Come here.
Doesn't have a double meaning does it?
Don't think so.
The come here rouge?
No.
No.
Not spelt like that.
No.
He must be fun, you know, just to hang out with.
Have we said this before?
Well, this is the band that we think are going to do the Newsnight theme pretty soon.
Right.
We think they're going to be employed by BBC News, possibly even to read the news.
That's right.
We think they've kind of... Something very bad has happened somewhere in the world.
That's how he read it.
We think he's friends with Mijor.
And they have sort of serious offs.
You know, they go around to each other's houses, eat data.
Right.
Bowls of data.
Have little data bars.
Ticker tape.
And they wear long coats.
And smoke cigarettes by Stalinist statues on hills.
And say things like this to each other.
Hello Mijor, you're looking very nice today.
Do I look nice or is nice?
You're prejudice.
Yeah?
Yeah, exactly like that.
I don't know!
I don't know... is the reply.
That kind of chat goes on.
There we go, that's what happens in Interpol's daily life.
This is Adam and Joe, this is BBC6 Music, now!
Well obviously running the Text the Nation feature still keep texting your stories about shop altercations but we're going to start another feature.
We haven't quite got the hang of how to arrange our features around our radiophonic face.
It's a slightly beaten up sort of facial features you know arrangement.
A little lumpen and aged.
Because we're going to bring a new segment into play now.
This is called Song Wars and before we tell you about the segment let's just deal with the jingle.
Because the segment's called Song Wars.
It's like Star Wars only with songs.
So Adam's done a jingle in it, Adam.
Yeah, yeah.
So logical thing to do with a feature called Song Wars.
You sing over the music from Star Wars.
Yeah, but Adam phoned me up yesterday and he said he wasn't that confident about this jingle, he wasn't that happy with his singing, he feels ashamed about ruining the Star Wars theme, a majestic piece of music.
There's a lot of problems with it, you know, because A, it's very hackneyed anyway, it's a hackneyed area, the whole Star Wars area, it's pretty well covered, especially by us, you know, we've used it many times.
Hard to find a fresh laugh.
Hard to find a fresh laugh.
B, you know, it's such a well-known piece of music.
It's a cliche in itself.
But also, see, it's brilliant.
I mean, it's amazing.
But you were also worried about your register, that you needed to sing higher.
Right.
And I usually cover the falsetto's singing, usually.
We're setting it up too much now.
Yeah.
But listen, have a listen to the jingle.
It's a total cacophony, but it also contains salient facts about what the competition is.
So this is the long version of the jingle, OK?
This could be the only time this full version is played.
Yeah.
So this is the long version with the intro.
Hit it!
It's time for some...
Wars, it is the song Wars, time for some song Wars, song, song, song, song It's a battle between two songs One song and two songs Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, heard the songs
are composed by Adam and Jo themselves and inspired by a given theme.
We play clips and the listeners choose which one they like and the winning song will be played at the end.
I could have done with a repeat of the chorus there.
That's good man.
That was the verse, what you mean the bit that... That sounds like that!
There's some amazing background singing going on there.
I hope you were in a soundproofed room when you did that.
I was.
That's the thing, when I try and sing that at home my voice just naturally goes like that!
Turns into Ken Korder, that's alright.
It's good, but next week I might pop round and add some lady singing to that.
Yes, it'll be even more cacophonous.
But that pretty much sets out the stall, listeners.
We've each composed songs, we haven't heard each other's songs, we agreed on a theme though, and during the show, during the next, what is it now?
It's ten past ten, the next hour and fifty minutes.
We're gonna fight those songs.
We're gonna play you two clips.
Listen, the music's staying appropriate.
The songs are gonna battle.
Only one will survive.
The other will be mmm, yes, squashed.
That's what Darth Vader says, isn't it?
Oh, it's damp on it.
Uh, yes.
So there we go.
Are we gonna play?
This music's too dramatic.
It's too dramatic now, yeah.
Oh, man.
It's too much to live up to, that's the thing, man.
So, are we gonna play the clips of the songs now?
Now we should say that the songs this week, the theme, every time we do this feature, and we can't guarantee that we're gonna do it every week because it takes a lot to do a whole song, right?
But when we get it together to do Song Wars, we do the songs on a given theme.
This time the theme was height.
That's right, because if any of you have seen us in the flesh, we have quite different heights.
Adam's on the smaller side.
There is a marked disparity.
I'm on the taller side.
It's sort of like a lamppost with a bowling ball sitting.
foot of it if you see us walking down the street that's true so there we go these songs are about height so we're gonna play you what ten seconds snatches
and stand by your texting thumbs six four zero four six.
I just did.
Now which clip are we playing first?
Joe's or Adam's?
Okay well let's play mine just for the sake of it.
Now my track is... That's Adam speaking by the way.
Yes.
This is a track called Four Foot Club and it's by my band called Four Foot Club and even though I'm not actually four feet high, I'm taller than that,
It's what it feels like sometimes when you're a small man So it's like a club the four-foot club exactly, right?
So this is for all the smallies in the four-foot club.
So this is just a teaser though This is a tiny second teaser even less than if you want to hear the whole thing.
You have to text six four zero four six So here's the teaser
There you go.
Oh, wow.
Very tantalizing.
I want respect like Napoleon or Danny DeVito.
Were those the lyrics?
Yeah.
I was sort of overwhelmed by it.
I know it's hard to pick out the genius in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
So if you want to hear that one, that's called Four Foot Club.
The band are called what?
Four Foot Club.
four foot four foot club uh then text 64046 alternatively you might want to vote for my song uh joe's song uh my song is by dj nippy nips okay yeah i love he's a new force in the rap scene and he's written a sort of a rap about being tall it's just called tall
But I think it might be an acronym, even though I haven't figured out what it is yet.
I will join the show.
T-A-L-L, yeah.
That's what the song's called.
So here's a teaser of my song, Tall.
If you want to hear all of this, maybe the acronym could be, they all laughed at Longo.
Maybe it couldn't be that.
All right, here's a snatch of my song.
I'm six foot three and a half you know.
That's the heart I go and my name is Joe.
Too tall to fit in a photograph or a standard bath.
I'm a man giraffe.
Oh man.
That's gonna win?
How do you know?
Because I don't think my clip does mine justice.
I mean mine is insane anyway.
Yours is good man.
This is what we thought.
We did this feature before when we were filling in for Sean Keithney on The Breakfast Show.
I thought I had it in the bag at the 11th hour.
Everyone swung around to bucko.
It's the thing is that my track was so nutty that my lyrics kind of got lost, you know?
Hey, you see, this is what you do.
You go for the underdog position very early on.
Don't go for this, listeners.
This is premeditated.
Oh dear, I'm never going to win.
I'm suffering like a little... Well, you know, it's manipulative, listeners.
Don't go for it.
So the text number is 64046.
Text Adam or Joe.
Does that make sense?
Here's a reminder.
This is Adam's clip.
Or if you want this song to win text Joe to 64046.
There we go, and we'll play the winner at the end of the song.
That was Song Wars.
It continues to be Song Wars.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
It's music time.
Here's Mark Ronson with Valerie.
Hope you found
the way you like to dress
Well sometimes I go out by myself And I look across the border And I think of all the things but her And in my head I've made a picture And since I've come home Well my body's been a mess And I miss your ginger hair And the way you like to dress
That was Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse with a lovely track called Valerie.
This is BBC6 music you're listening to, Adam and Joe.
Yeah, they make it sound like a sort of perennial classic there, Valerie, which was of course written by the Zutons, wasn't it?
But the way they cover it there, it's as if it was like an old school stand Motown nugget, you know?
Yeah.
Anyway, sounding good there.
Very good combination.
Well done getting those two together.
Whatever music industry bopping had that idea.
Kudos to you.
I tip my hat.
Wow, if anyone actually ever talks like that in real life you can slap them You know what?
I had a strange moment the other day when I was in Soho and I suddenly felt like I was right in the center of things because I bumped into someone it was the producer of the Peter Serafinowicz show and
Brilliant show if you've never seen it, folks.
Gotta check it out.
But this guy, James Serafin, which Peter's brother, he was in Soho and he's, I should say, first of all, he's a lovely bloke and not tall kind of a dick.
But he was wearing sort of aviator shades.
and uh he was on his mobile and he saw me and he he uh you know he was trying to juggle a conversation with me and the mobile and it was one of those moments where you want to say hi but you know he's on a call so i i just said i'll see you later on and he said yeah okay i'll catch you on facebook
Oh no.
And he sort of walked on.
He said that loudly like other people could hear it.
He said it very loudly.
He didn't say it loudly so other people could hear it.
Catch you on Facebook.
Did you catch him on Facebook?
I haven't caught him yet on Facebook.
If you could see the anxious look on Adam's face.
Now listeners.
But why?
About being caught on Facebook.
Well just about standing in Soho and having someone say catch you on Facebook.
I liked it.
I have to tell you.
What's your life come to?
I have to tell you.
What's the world come to?
You liked it?
I thought, yeah I've arrived.
I've arrived in there.
What a terrible admission.
OK, now, listeners, it's time for a song that I've chosen because it's featured in the new Wes Anderson film, The Darjeeling Limited.
Now, lots of people don't really like Wes Anderson.
They're annoyed by his films and thinks he makes the same one over and over again.
But I really enjoyed The Darjeeling Limited.
it's about three brothers whose father has just died and they go on a train across india to kind of find themselves and it's kind of uh whimsical and quirky like and slightly annoying like all his films but it's also beautiful to look at his other films include the life aquatic the royal tenenbaums rush moor is there another one in there bottle rocket
Is that the whole lot?
I think that's the lot, isn't it?
I think that might be the lot, yeah.
But this new one, the Darjeeling Limited, is coming out pretty soon.
I think it's closing the London Film Festival here in London.
Anyway, this song was featured on the soundtrack.
I like it.
I thought it was obscure and quirky.
I'd never really heard it before.
Then when I proposed we played it on this show, our producer Jude cast her eyes up to the heavens.
Adam sighed and looked slightly unwell.
Well, he's very good Wes Anderson at kind of recontextualizing songs that have been around for a long time, and he always chooses interesting tracks for his movies.
But this is a one that is pretty much hard to defend, I would say.
You think it's just bad?
It's always made me want to kill people when I wrote this song, yeah.
Jude feels the same.
I loathe it.
She loathes it.
She said this is the sort of thing they play on radio too.
So I don't know, maybe you should have just vetoed this choice.
If it proves to be really unpopular, listeners, if you hate it, just text in, we'll pull it off the air.
This is Peter Sarstead with Where Do You Go To, My Lovely.
It's just the way he sort of goes, fa fa fa, ta ta ta.
Oh, you'll hear it.
Check it out.
You talk like Marlene Dietrich And you dance like C.C.
Jarmaine Your clothes are all made by Balmain And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair Yes, there are You live in a fancy apartment
Off the boulevard, Saint Michel Where you keep your Rolling Stones records And a friend of Sasha Distel, yes you do You go to the embassy parties Where you talk in Russian and Greek And the young men who move in your circle
They hang on every word you speak, yes they do But where do you go to my lovely When you're alone in your bed Tell me the thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes I do I've seen all your qualifications You've got
From the Sorbonne and the painting you stole from Picasso Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does When you go on your summer vacation, you go to Joie le Pan
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit You get an even sun tan On your back and on your legs And when the snow falls you're found in summer It's with the others of the jet set And you sip your Napoleon brandy But you never get your lips wet, no you don't
But where do you go to my lovely When you're alone in your bed?
Won't you tell me the thoughts that surround you?
I want to look inside your head, yes I do You're in between twenty and thirty A very desirable age
Your body is firm and inviting But you live on a glittering stage Yes you do, yes you do Your name, it is heard in high places You know the Aga Khan He sent you a racehorse for Christmas
and you keep it just for fun for a laugh that's that's enough come on stop it stop it why just because he did that oh and the old puppet little inside your boots
wouldn't fit inside a pair of boots.
If it was big, big boots.
That's what he's saying.
If it was a big boots.
I want to look inside your head.
Look at, look in there.
It's your brain.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 music.
That was a very divisive song.
We had a lot of texts during it and it was pretty much 50-50.
Some people love it.
Some people loathe it.
Like Wes Anderson himself.
It's the Marmite factor, Joe.
No?
It's the Marmite factor.
That was Peter Sarstead.
Do you hear what I said there?
I did, I'm trying to ignore it.
It's the Marmite factor.
Where do you go to, my love?
You either love it or hate it.
Do you hear what I said?
Talking of loving and hating songs, we're also in the middle of Song Wars, our brand new feature where you have to choose between a song composed by me, Joe, or a song composed by him, Adam.
The text number is 64046.
vote either Adam or Joe.
Now Joe thought that we shouldn't say who was in the lead.
Yeah because again it prejudices people.
He thought there might be a swing.
Well it's putting you again into the underdog position from where you always mount a fight back.
That's not true if I'm mounting a fight back then it's on the merits of my track which I did I must say I don't feel my... You know the British public.
what eddie the eagle edwards listen don't call me eddie the eagle edwards the fact is i love the underdog listeners that joe is way ahead at the moment like he is winning he streaks ahead and listen i'm not surprised i don't think it's anything to do with me being the underdog the fact is the clip makes his song sound good but i'm telling you there's a lot more to four foot club than just i'm telling you i don't think there is let's have a listen to the two snippets again here's uh adams first oh yeah i made this bar but my dreams are large
Yeah?
I'm sick of feeling that I'm too diminutive to be in charge.
Those are the lyrics.
Let your clip speak for itself.
Stop embellishing.
And here's my one.
Here's Joe's clip.
I'm six foot three and a half, you know.
That's the height I go.
And my name is Joe.
Too tall, too fit in a photograph.
Or a standard bath.
I'm a man giraffe.
There you go.
So if you want to hear the whole of that one, text Joe to 64046.
Or if you want to hear the whole of Adam's, text Adam to 64046.
And the winning song will be played at the end of the show.
To be honest with you, we might play both at the end of the show.
It's a question of who actually wins.
That makes the competition a nonsense.
No, competitions are nonsense.
But this is the big British castle.
There are new rules about competitions.
Exactly.
Competitions have to be a nonsense because if there's any genuine competitive edge to them, then everyone gets fired.
I tell you what, we'll consult the new BBC rules during this next song.
This is the Hold Steady, is the band called the Hold Steady?
Yeah.
What's happened to grammar in the world of pop?
Lin Truss would be outraged.
The current state of naming songs and bands.
The Hold Steady with a track called Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?
That should be of your window and it should be The Hold Steadies.
See me.
He sits in your Roman's tomb with a fistful of attacks Preoccupied with his vengeance
Cursing the dead that can't answer him back You know that he has no intentions Of looking your way unless it's to say that he needs you to test his inventions Babe come crawl out your window Use your hands and your legs it won't ruin you
How can you say that he won't haunt you?
You can go back to him anytime you want to.
He looks so truthful.
Is this how he feels?
How'd he try to kill?
With his business like anger and his court hounds that kneel Yeah, if he needs the third eye, he just grows in He just needs you to talk, with a hand of his shock Or pick it up after he throws in Babe, please crawl out your window Use your hands and your legs, it won't ruin you
When you can go back to him anytime you want to He looks so righteous Oh, your face is so changed As you sit on the box
One of his genocide fools and his friends rearranged The legend of the rough tanned women That packs up their views and your face is so bruised Come on out, the dark is just beginning Hey please come out your window Or use your hands or your legs it won't ruin you
That's good stuff.
Hold steady there with can you please crawl out your window.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6music.
Stay tuned for some talking heads coming up after the news.
But first here is Rachel Matthew and Andre Payne with the news.
Digital Radio Digital TV BBC 6 Music Nurses get power to let patients die, troops, brain health, worry and security as Buta makes public appearance.
And in 6 Music News, Kaiser's cover jet.
Keen singer about his back and take that down to a three piece.
BBC 6 Music
BBC News at 10.30, I'm Rachel Matthews.
Experienced nurses are going to get the power to decide whether patients should be revived if their heart or breathing stops.
In the past, it's been down to doctors to make that judgment.
Dr Vivian Nathanson is from the BMA.
The majority of times it will be doctors, but sometimes the person in charge of a patient's care is a very senior nurse, a nurse consultant.
And we do feel that it seems to be daft that their decision, that their advice should be second guessed.
Chief Fire Officers say laws on fireworks are failing to control some of those imported illegally.
They say there's been a huge increase in the number of fireworks bought at car boot sales or even outside schools.
The MODs carry out a major survey of possible brain injury among British forces serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
It's sending out questionnaires asking troops whether they have memory loss, depression or anxiety linked to being near explosions.
More top stories on 6music this morning.
Pakistan's ex-Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto is visiting her ancestral village.
Her first public trip outside Karachi since the assassination attempt on her nine days ago.
She was flanked by heavy security as she paid her respects at the mausoleum of her executed father.
People just being butchered.
And it has to stop.
Somebody has to find a solution.
And my solution is, let's restore democracy.
If our people are strong, our people will defend this land of ours.
A 12-year-old boy has undergone a skin graft after being attacked by a Staffordshire bull terrier in Gateshead.
The boy was bitten on both arms.
A second boy, aged 15, was also bitten, but his injuries aren't said to be serious.
South Africa's World Cup-winning rugby squad has passed through the black township of Soweto after reversing an earlier decision to cancel that leg of the national victory tour.
Commodators have praised the Springbok victory as helping to unify the country.
In the football, Juan de Ramos seemed set to join Spurs as early as Monday after quitting the coach of Seville last night.
Writing on his website, he said that for his family and career, it was impossible not to leave for London.
Here with the 6Music News, Andre Payne.
BBC 6Music.
So the Kaiser Chiefs wrapped up day three of the electric proms at the Roundhouse.
They were joined on stage by James Bond, composer David Arnold and the BBC Orchestra.
And there was a rendition of Jet by Wings in tribute to Paul McCartney.
He played the night before.
Here's what the fans made of the Kaiser's gig.
I'll visualise these Indian guys with massive drums and just putting down an awesome beat to a Kaiser Tunes track.
I mean, what more could you ask for?
It's just marvellous.
I don't think it's the greatest venue for them to be really honest.
I think I would have preferred seeing them somewhere a little bit lively.
It was just amazing.
It was different.
It was the old Kaiser Tunes songs but kind of with a new sound.
To get six musics Julie Cullen's electric proms video reports text electric to 81010.
Kean's Tom Chaplin spoken out about the insults from other bands.
He says it was hurtful to hear Kasabians claims that he lived on a diet of pies and port.
After a spell in rehab for a drug problem he says he's bounced back.
Kean playing a special war child gig on Thursday and how Donald pulled out of Take That gig in Vienna last night he hurt his chest doing a double backflip.
Six music use your neck floating is at eleven thirty six On Monday night.
I bring you more live tracks from the BBC music archive including the Libertines dead can dance and secret affair And I'll also feature tracks from six musics night at the BBC electric proms join me Gideon co Monday from 10 p.m.
Joe.
And we know what we want And the future is certain Give us time to work it out
Come on inside
It's alright
There you go, that's Talking Heads from their album Little Creatures with Road to Nowhere.
This is Adam and Joe here on 6Music.
We're here every Saturday from 9 till 12 from now on.
Yeah, that was wonderful to hear that again.
I know, it's like a little warm time capsule, especially for you and I. That album meant so much to us.
We were at school together, Adam and I, and when we were about 14 or 15 in the mid 80s, the Talking Heads kind of ruled the world.
They released their amazing concert movie, Stop Making Sense, that I think was given away free in a newspaper the other week.
Probably the Daily Mail.
And we were so excited when that album came out, weren't we?
Yeah, that was a smash.
Although it took a little adjusting for me because I had a very clear image in my head of what I wanted Talking Heads to be, do you know what I mean?
And I just about got used to speaking in tongues and then suddenly they come out with this whole sort of Cajun Zydeco sound.
that you hear on Road to Nowhere there and that took a little getting used to but I went with it because I love them.
Yeah if you're you know young and you don't really know about the Talking Heads they're a band you could pretty much just go into a shop and buy their first four albums and you couldn't go wrong.
Any album is good you know.
And of course, it was Talking Heads' last album, True Stories.
Was that their last album?
No, no, their last album was Naked, but their penultimate album, some say their worst album, True Stories, that gave Radiohead their name.
There's a track on there called Radiohead.
Is that really so?
That's where they got their name from, yes.
And it's a fun track.
Maybe not the best Talking Heads track.
It's just a bit of fun.
Just have fun with it.
Now I want to talk a little later on about some mouse problems that I'm having, Joe Cornish.
That's exciting news.
That's in the next hour.
I'd like to share my mouse problems with you folks.
But I just noticed this article in The Independent about Ratatouille and the fact that the success of the Disney movie has increased the sales of rats.
to children.
Children, the sales of rats have gone like up 50%, pet rats since the movie's been out because all the kids want a rat like the rat in Ratatouille and who can blame them because it is a very good film and a nice little cute rat.
Exactly.
Maybe the kids will be disappointed when the rats can't speak and cook, but still, they're buying them.
And rodent experts say they're incredibly responsive to learning and can be taught to do amazing tricks much in the same way that dogs can.
So why wouldn't you buy a rat but of course be careful?
Pets at home warned we certainly don't want rats to become the next animal victims of a movie craze said Mr. Fairburn from Pets at home everyone saw what happened in the case of Ninja Turtles and the subsequent demand and mistreatment of Terrapins and other aquatic reptiles that followed and we don't want the same thing to start happening with rats
It's true, isn't it?
Did that happen during the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fight?
What happened?
Kids were disappointed that the turtles couldn't do karate, so they were smashing them against each other.
You're not a hero in a half shell, you're just a kind of lump!
Is that what happened?
If maybe there was some problem with a gang on the block, they would throw turtles at them?
That's right!
Go deal with it, turtles!
Kick them in, go on!
Mum, he's ninja nothing, he's just a turtle.
What's the point of it?
What is the point?
Look at the way he moves, it's like a joke.
He's moving at about two miles an hour.
So what's going to happen with the rat?
Kids are going to release the rats into the kitchen and expect them to cook.
All they'll do is eat everything and then...
plop on it and then give them tuberculosis or something well anyway it made me think about strange pets and it reminded me of a story I was told the other day by a friend who told me the story about his sister right so this happened to a friend of mine's sister and she is one of these people who has eccentric pets a bit like Jonathan Ross and family you know they've got a kind of insane menagerie exotic pets
Exotic pets, they like a quirky pet, right?
Let's call this person Claire, okay?
But we'll spell the name Claire, C-L-E-A-H.
Whatever you want.
Okay.
Anyway, Claire, she's one of these people that keeps exotic pets.
She has a pet python, a big python, right?
And she let this python roam around the house.
She's eccentric.
It was a naturalised stuff.
Python, you know, a tame python, whatever you want to call it.
to the extent that she would let the python curl up and sleep at the end of the bed right when she was asleep this is a big long i don't know six seven foot python and uh anyway claire was upset because the python a few weeks back
had stopped eating right it lost its appetite it wouldn't eat any of the food that she uh that she laid out for it she got really worried she didn't know what was wrong with it she took this python to the vet this is a true story right this is not apocryphal she took it to the vet and the vet said don't worry about it you know the python's just a little off color it might have like a python cold or whatever just leave it for a while leave it for a week if there's no change come back and see me we'll we'll sort the python cold
Anyway a few days after the vet visit Claire wakes up one morning right to find the python still alive but stretched out in a line and stiff as a board lying next to her.
Like a stick.
Exactly like a stick or a sort of very long uh romantic partner and
And so she immediately took it back to the vet, right, and described what had happened to the vet.
And the vet says, okay, this snake is no longer your pet.
It's been off its food because it's starving itself in order to eat you.
it's stretching itself out that way because it's measuring you that's what they do before they consume their intended prey so usually in the jungle they would kill the thing and then they would stretch themselves out just to check the measuring of the situation then they would start to consume it it takes a while wow i think my cat's doing that is it starving itself well sometimes i wake up and it's stretched all the way out on the bed
It's gonna eat you.
With its arms and legs all the way out.
It's going to eat you.
Is that what's happening?
But is that a chilling story or what?
That's a chilling story.
What did she do?
Well hang on let's leave it as a cliffhanger because we're radio scientists and this is the kind of thing that keeps people listening.
So play a song and we'll find out what happened next after the song right?
It's not a great cliffhanger but anyway here is Radiohead.
We were speaking about them earlier on and this is a track from their wonderful album In Rainbows.
How much do you pay for it?
Well, I bought the Big Box.
Did you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Love the box.
You didn't download it?
I downloaded it.
Well, you get a free download with the Big Box.
Oh.
So I was happy about it.
And this is one of my favourite tracks.
This is one that's divided Radiohead fans.
Some of them think it's very weak.
I think it's amazing.
And it sounds a little like Prince almost.
One of Prince's sexy songs, I think.
You hear Thom Yorke saying, I don't want to be your friend.
I just want to be your lover.
Not a line that I ever expected to hear from Radiohead.
But man, I love this song.
House of Cards.
Get swift.
Cause your heart's blown goodnight Forget about your house of cards and I'll do mine Forget about your house of cards
Take my hand
It's like being on a sexy spaceship cast adrift in a sexy sea with a sexy alien.
I'd like to look round Chiselhurst caves with Thom Yorke.
Don't you think?
Because he'd start going... Everything he said would sound amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
There's some good reverb on there.
Yeah, I like that.
House of Cards, that's Radiohead.
From their new album In Rainbows.
Now let's check the situation in the Text-A-Nation house.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
The text the nation situation is thus.
We've had three good ones.
With text the nation this week, we're asking people to give us their stories about confrontations they have had with shop staff, altercations with shopkeepers that have got way out of hand, that kind of thing.
OK, this is from Jim.
Hi Adam and Joe.
I was in Currys Digital in Winchester yesterday and there was a man at the counter.
I think he was an ITV executive or something like that.
He was having technical trouble with a TV he'd bought and the shop were unable to help him.
It sounded like this was because the problem was with the aerial.
When he was told he wouldn't be getting any help, he suddenly raised his voice.
and started saying, yes, I will be getting service from this shop because if I don't get the service I want, I will make your lives a living hell.
I think the shopkeepers then caved because they didn't want to suddenly find themselves being featured on the news at 10.
I wish I'd gone over and told him how big a twit he was being.
Jim doesn't use the word twit, but I'm changing it to twit.
So, if your listeners find themselves visiting Winchester, they might want to take things into their own hands and start insulting rich-looking people.
This would help me because I live in the city and wouldn't be able to get away with it for long.
I don't understand that bit at the end.
I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
Do you think any shopkeepers or anyone who's had that threat levelled at them... Did you know what that man just said?
He's trying to make our lives a living hell.
I don't want... I'd give him a refund.
I really don't want my life to become a living hell.
I think I'd better cave into his demands.
I will make your lives a living hell.
Imagine if your life did just become a living hell and then you really regret it.
Oh, I should never have crossed that guy.
I shouldn't have sold him the telly with the dodgy aerial.
I hate living in hell.
That's quite strong, isn't it, really?
Maybe I should have been more like that during my altercation.
Yeah.
That guy got what he wanted.
That's right.
Do you think he really did work for ITV?
No.
Why does the guy think he works for ITV?
I don't know.
He's made a little logical leap there for no earthly reason.
But it does fit with the theme, doesn't it?
Like, if you do work in the media, it's very tempting to try and sort of pull rank and say, look, I've got a show on BBC 6 Music and I'm going to talk about this on air and your shop's going to lose business and shut down.
Do you think that's what Nicky Campbell does when he goes around?
All the time.
Yeah, look chum, I present Watchdog, and unless you want to be featured on the BBC, then pull your socks up and sort your life out.
I think he says, watch it dog, I'm the gambler.
Do you think so?
If I was him, that's what I would say.
You're looking at the gambler.
Watch it, dog.
Here's another one from Dan.
This says, hi, throughout my teenage years, I worked in a variety of different low level retail jobs.
So most shopkeeper altercations I've been have been from the perspective of the shopkeeper.
I worked in a chip shop and was having a fairly miserable time serving a never ending line of customers until I came to a group of drunk middle aged women who kept insisting that I should smile.
Of course, when you're fed up and angry, the last thing you need is people simply telling you not to be fed up and angry.
So I continued to frown at them while they continued to tell me to cheer up, it's not that bad, might never happen, etc.
In the end, I threw half of their prepared meals onto the counter, threw the chip serving scoop thing on the floor, stormed out of the back of the shop where I sat for about half an hour, being more angry than I think I've ever been in my life before.
You know, this is an interesting thing because he's highlighted a problem there with a lot of particularly British people.
They resent working in the service industry, do you know what I mean?
And they sit there, they feel their individuality is being assailed by their menial position.
Right, so often.
Yeah, you know, and often they do have to endure rudeness and all kinds of tasks that are beneath them.
in every possible way however they fail to provide the service do you know what i mean that they are contracted to provide and part of that service is by presenting a smiley demeanor this is getting quite serious no but this is a real thing i sometimes i know what the guy's saying and i've been in that position before it's horrible when people say come on cheer up it might never happen
that kind of thing you do want to smack them however from their point of view oftentimes it's a drag to go into a shop and to find some miserable looking so-and-so serving you and you just feel like god would a smile kill you i'm giving you my custom and i'm not being horrible to you cheer up you git
you know what i mean so i'm just being devil's advocate yeah but good good stuff um so there we go that's text the nation uh keep texting and if you've got really good i feel we haven't really got that you know the king shop altercation right we've got time so keep emailing adamandjoe.sixmusic.bbc.co.uk i feel as if i was letting that guy down by presenting the other side of the argument
I'm not like saying that he had no cause to be upset.
Don't think anyone cares.
Do you reckon?
Or text 64046 if you've got a story.
It's time for some music recorded live last night.
Live?
Can you believe that?
The Roundhouse in Camden.
The Queens of Noise are who they are.
What?
Hang on.
It says here the Queens of Noise come live from the Roundhouse this afternoon.
OK.
With live music from Noah and the Whale and Kid Harpoon.
Now are they the same band, Noah and the Whale and Kid Harpoon?
Or do they just happen to have put a kid with a harpoon next to a band with a whale?
And if so, that's not very good for the whale based band, is it?
It's going to be hauled onto Kid Harpoon's deck and sliced open.
It's not just thrown together.
There you go.
Anyway, this is the Kaiser Chiefs recorded last night live at the Roundhouse.
This is Jet.
Jack!
Jack!
Jack!
Jack!
JETTOON
There you go, that was the Kaiser Chiefs playing at last night's Electric Proms and that was their version of the Wings Track jet there.
Joe, what are you doing?
You sort of pushed yourself.
Oh, he's eating an apple.
He backed off the mic to his apple.
I was finishing off a mouthful of delicious royal garlic.
Delicious apple.
Now we've got a few texts saying that my Python story there was an urban myth, an apocryphal tale.
I was assured by the person that told me the story that it was not an urban myth or apocryphal.
And listen, if I have to go... With all due respect, Adam Buxton, you have, and with all due respect, you have a tiny Achilles heel for this kind of thing.
You're quite credulous.
You're Adam's the man who believes he can win holidays.
from scratch cards what come free in magazines that's true yeah sometimes when i get like a pop-up window on my computer saying congratulations you are the uh one millionth visitor to this site you have won a two-week holiday a couple of times i've got excited quite excited which is fair enough and it you know it it tells of a sort of innocence and a joie de vivre that's very appealing
It's nice, isn't it?
Or you could say I'm thick.
Yeah, sometimes stories that are pure rubbies, Arby's, do slip through the net.
And that snake one may well be.
You see, the idea that it sort of stiffened into a stick, this python, and then, so what, she carried it into the vet like a pole.
No, it stiffened at one point and then when it had relaxed, she took it into the vet and said, listen, I woke up and it had stiffened.
I need some help from someone out there, a snake expert.
I mean, look, we've had one text from anonymous, which is just the words, that's rubbish.
Yeah but that's because his mind can't deal with it.
We've had another one from Steve in New Romney that says I reckon that story's a myth.
A mate told me the same story two weeks ago about someone his mate knew in Wales.
Is it a person from Wales?
You see Steve actually thinks it might be a true story that's come from the same person in Wales.
It could be Steve you're right.
you're right I'd say the likelihood of that is zero it's just natural for six music listeners to be you know inquiring and and then maybe they're you know inclined to be a little cynical about these kinds of stories that blow your mind hey let's let Julian Cope source out this issue in by singing us the song the greatness and perfection of love this song contains all the answers to our snake mystery BBC music
BBC 6 Music, closer to the music that matters.
Adam and Joe.
The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away Take your place Take your time And that's what matters I can see The contours in your face
Faith and now I think it's time to sleep, sleep, sleep With me is something rather deep You know the greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away
They take away my line I spend my time with you What's the matter with that crime And who are you To give my life So much meaning I can't stand So much meaning
I need to find a way ahead The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away The greatest imperfection is love, love, love But I can't keep the fire away
It's like a song Wars, it is the song Wars, it's like a song Wars, song, song, song, song It's a battle Between two songs One song and two songs War, war, war, war
Never gets old, that jingle.
It's horrible.
It's the second time we've played it.
Absolutely horrible.
And oh dear.
We're going to have to sort it out, man, because you can't hear that week in, week out.
We'll fix it up.
It's a disgrace.
We'll do a bit of restoration work during the week.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music.
Thanks for joining us.
Thanks for listening.
It's not that we're going away or anything, don't get excited, but we're just saying thank you.
It's nice to say thanks every now and again.
Yeah, you know?
It's polite.
It's polite.
And we're here for another like 52 minutes.
And we're running this amazing new feature called Song Wars.
Adam and I have composed a song each.
We had an email asking us how we actually went about producing the songs.
Don't tell them.
We can't tell you.
But they are genuinely recorded by ourselves.
Yes, they are original compositions.
And we haven't heard one another's song.
We've done them in isolation.
And we'd like you to text in and vote for the one you'd like to hear in full.
Even though it would be true to say that we are going to play both.
Yeah.
No, the thing is that it's an ongoing thing.
You know, we're going to tot up who wins all these things.
And then at the end, there'll be some big prize for one of us.
Well, some of the loser will be punished.
The loser has to suffer.
Otherwise, there's no point in losing.
Well the loser suffers the humiliation of not being appreciated.
The winner has to win something otherwise there's no point in winning.
Well you win respect and I get humiliation because I'm pretty much going to lose this one.
You know what?
Respect is worth winning.
Absolutely.
On the streets it's the only thing that counts.
That's why I got in a gang.
My whole... I wasn't getting enough respect.
I thought, join a gang.
That's why I do the muggings and stuff.
That's right.
For respect on the street.
It's the only way to survive.
Well, you know, the way I got out of gangs is by doing the music.
Really?
Yeah, because I wanted respect.
Hip-hop and football, they're the only way out of gangs.
The whole song, my song, Four Foot Club, is all about looking for respect.
And, you know, it says I'm too diminutive to be in charge.
I want respect like Napoleon or Danny DeVito.
Can we hear that clip again?
I'll make this fall, but my dreams are large And pick a feeling that I'm choosing in your dreams
Respect like a pony.
Like Napoleon.
I may be small but my dreams are large.
It's exactly that kind of ooh-hoo-hoo type attitude that the whole song is about, Giraffe Man.
This is a song more about height, listeners, in case you're just joining us.
Adam's song there is about being diminutive in height, because Adam's on the lower side.
And I'm on the raised up side.
He's in the lank.
And here's a clip from my song.
If you want to hear Adam's song in full, text ADAM to 64046.
If you want to hear my song in full, text JOE to 64046.
Here's a clip of my song about being tall.
So it's not necessarily to hear the song, because we're going to play them both, but it's who, which song do you think is better?
That's simple as that.
Which one do you want to win?
Which is a better song?
Yeah, it's a song war, man.
Because this is six music.
Everyone who listens is serious about music.
They have good listening skills, you know, ears.
So there we go.
Music time now, proper music time now, is it?
Can we just say that text number once again?
And can I remind listeners that my mind is slightly better and now I need some votes because I'm not, I'm not getting no votes at the moment.
Where are the votes at the moment, Jude?
You're not even counting them, are you?
Will is counting them.
Will?
I'd say they're... Right, we want proper statistics here, please.
We want actual numbers.
Joe's way ahead.
Joe's way ahead.
This is Adam speaking.
I need some votes now.
Text Adam to... What's the number?
64023.
No, don't say that.
Come on.
Sorry, that's the wrong number.
64046.
64046.
Text Adam or Joe, according to who you think has done the best one.
Adam, text Adam.
Text Adam now, please.
And with this venomous tongue, yeah None of it's true And I can taste it You see it's in the heavens A message from forever And now I understand Could I make me get over you?
Any get over me?
Anywhere over me I, I, I, I'm more I just see you I, I, I'm more Anymore I just see you
It climbs with pictures too Tender trouble is almost loveable I feel the weight of the trees beyond my chest Could I make a link at all to you?
I just need you
That was Duke Spirit with Lassoo.
Incorrectly spelt.
Is that the way you spell Lassoo?
No, maybe it is the way you spell Lassoo.
L-A-L-S-L-O.
Look, forget about that, no one cares.
Listen, song wars, right?
Yeah, John's upset now.
During that last track, after...
You know, I predicted this would happen during your sort of simpering underdog act.
Now you've had a sudden spurt.
All I did was galvanise people who were naturally attracted to my music to get on and text.
The thing is that... What's the score now, Jude?
I think it's 2615.
2615?
To who?
To me?
To you, Joe.
So you're still way ahead, donkey brains.
I'd love your song to win.
You know, you're my best friend.
I like you a lot.
I think everything you do is brills.
McGill's.
Yeah.
Right?
But I think it's bad for you if people are voting for you just out of sympathy.
It teaches you the wrong approach to life.
You'll come a cropper later in life.
Giraffe boy, it's okay.
That's not what's happening.
It's fine.
Hey, I call myself a man giraffe.
You can't just get it back on me.
They're voting for the track they consider most witwocks.
They don't know what wickwocks means.
They do, they know exactly what it means.
Wickitywocks.
Wicklewockles.
And they are thinking, you know what?
Adam's track does sound wickwocks.
I'm going to text in and express that fact right now.
Just because you're shorter, they think you're some sort of little furry animal.
We'll find out what happens.
We've got another hour and...
No, no, we only have 45 minutes.
Oh my gosh, the winner in about half an hour, text 64046, text either Adam or Joe depending on which song you want to hear, the short song, Curse of Adam, or the tall song.
Now the question of whether my Python story from earlier on was apocryphal or not, rage is on as a point of debate.
in the uh text forum however uh i i all i can tell you is that i credulously or not believed it to be true when it was told to me by a friend who assured me it was not apocryphal someone says on there that oh yeah i heard russell brand he read the story out from the metro the other week well consider this maybe the metro we're covering the story that i'm talking about
Yeah?
Maybe it was a news story, and I just happened to hear it from the brother of the person it actually happened to.
What about that?
It's not likely, but it's possible.
Anyway, here's a story that did happen to me.
This is...
This is genuine, and it's not a story so much, it's just a problem I'm having.
I keep getting mouse infestations in my house where I live.
A mouse house.
And you know, after several unsuccessful attempts to destroy the mice and everything they stand for, they are back in Bucky Land.
And you can tell they're back, right?
How can you tell the mice are around you?
Because of the pooples.
Because of the tiny little black mouse droppings, or nonsense as I call them.
And the mouse nonsense is sprinkled all over the cereal cupboard.
You're right, it is nonsense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's mouse nonsense.
Rejected nonsense.
Exactly.
And, you know, this is obviously distressing from our hygiene point of view, but of course it's most especially troublesome when it comes to breakfast, because they tend to really go for the cereals and stuff and then leave their nonsense.
And I enjoy a bowl of organic muesli from time to time, okay?
And do you mistake the mouse nonsense for
hearty grains well this is the thing you know the other day when i poured the milk into my organic muesli i was mortified to discover floating on the top of the milk separated from the rest of the muesli where it had lain camouflaged a little flotilla
of mouse nonsense.
Now revolted, obviously, and freaked out because, you know, I was just about to tuck into this little poo bowl.
I chucked the whole thing down the waste disposal, even though I don't have one, and opened up a brand new packet of muesli that I had in standby for just this occasion.
However, when I poured the milk into the muesli, it looked
pretty much the same that time.
So the thing is, I'm now paranoid, you know, the seeds and the mouse nonsense look very similar.
So now I can't really eat anything vaguely seedy during the infestations, you know what I mean?
The whole muesli thing is off the menu because I just, I can't guarantee that the little mice haven't gone in there and left their nonsense.
You know, it's probably good for you.
Why?
Mouse gibberish.
Really?
Yeah.
It's probably the kind of thing they should put in the muesli anyway.
Yes?
Yeah.
Slice some banana, couple of strawbs.
They carry a lot of diseases though, mice.
You know, they really do.
They love disease.
Yes, but it inoculates you.
Really?
The right amount of mouse...
You reckon you could buy them from Holland and Barrett or whatever.
I think Holland and Barrett do do little jars of mouse thoughts.
Mouse nonsense.
Yeah.
There you go.
That's interesting.
Well, I just wanted to share that with you right now.
This is a track that Joe's picked out for you.
Yeah, yeah.
This is from a Talib Kweli.
What?
How do you say his name?
Say it.
Talib Kweli.
I like him.
I don't know how to say his name, but this is a really good album, what he's done.
Now, this is a song called Hot Thing.
It features Will.I.Am, who's from the Black Eyed Peas, right?
And he's usually that kind of man that might make you feel a bit depressed and sad about things.
Generally, it's because of his antics.
Is he a bit like Wyclef?
He is, yeah.
I don't know.
When he comes onto the telly or into the room, you just feel like doing something else, usually.
But he's done a good one.
Well done.
Yeah, I love this song.
This is called Hot Thing by Talib Kweli and Will.I.Am.
you next time.
There was no need to talk about will.i.am.
There you go.
Go on, do more.
I don't know the words.
That kind of thing, you know?
Who loaded in the instrumental version?
Will, at this point, listeners, we should introduce you to Will, who is our sort of kind of technical backup man.
Let's see Will's face, Adam, move your head a bit.
There he is.
He's looking not ashamed enough.
No, because Will loaded the only version that was available to him.
Really?
Do you not listen to the tracks first, Will?
Well, he was thinking you wanted an instrumental track.
How did he know that it was the rapping you were into?
I tell you what, next week, we'll play the one with the rapping in it.
yes yes yes sorry man everything conspires against oh don't star you're gonna win the song wars what more do you want how do you know I'm gonna win the song wars
Now this is Adam and Jo on Six Music by the way.
That won't happen again listeners.
No no.
I promise you.
Don't you promise Will that won't happen again will it?
He's saying yes it will.
Okay this is a track from a Six Music hub session.
This is the wonderful Frank Black with I Burn Today.
This is Frank Black on BBC6Music and this is a little something called I Burned a Day.
It goes a little something like this.
I knew a girl with sad blue eyes But at the feast I lost my psychic prize
I did forget what the taro maid did say I burn today, I burn today Our house was filled with many birds She said to me, I can understand their words
The light will shade, so run away I burn today, I burn today Yesterday I will burn For the times I did not learn
She said, our fun, this time has come Hold my heartstrings and have yourself a strum No, nevermore, this song will we play I burned today, I burned today And as I drank in Old Perry
She lay her cards just to see what she would see Down by the water you'll find your happy days I burned today I burned today Yesterday I will burn For the times I did not burn
I ran so fast to the north, no snow on me And so he said then forth, I let snow fall on frozen yesterday I burn today, I burn today When my head is hanging down
I feel her arms and her legs are all around And we make love beside the waterway I burn today, I burn today Yesterday I will burn
For the times I did not burn Behold the rose of Jericho How many lives I really do not know Though with the rain I know it will return Today I burn, today I burn
Six Music at the BBC Electric Proms.
Today from 4.
The Queens of Noise take their sonic safari to the Roundhouse with guests Noah and the Whale, Laura Marling and Kid Harpoon.
Tomorrow from 1.
The Music Week will be reviewing the best of the Electric Proms and you'll hear concert tracks from the festival throughout the weekend and Monday.
Six Music at the BBC Electric Proms.
You know, the other person they could have had playing on the bill with Noah in the Well and what are the... Kid Harpoon.
Kid Harpoon would be Seal.
It's true, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, and then Kid Harpoon could club Seal to death.
Well, they could call... No, what are you... Hey.
Hey.
That's what they do with Seals, man.
Yeah, I know.
Oh.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say that.
This is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music.
As you know we're in the middle of an exciting new feature called Song Wars where a song composed by me goes up against a song composed by Adam and you, the listeners vote.
And because we both genuinely, separately wrote and recorded these songs, we feel quite passionate.
Well Joe's already got, he's taken it all very personally I think.
I'm quite upset because I was clearly winning in the lead and then this is exactly what happened on The Breakfast Show.
But this is... Adam cleverly positioned himself as the underdog and now it's 33 to 31.
This is what happens, this is what happens with votes man.
It's not like a question of a sympathy thing.
You know, you think that it's just me preying on people's sympathy and saying come on please vote for me because my foot hurts.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
No it's not.
People out there are just, you know, they're listening to songs, they're purely voting for this.
It's not a popularity contest, Joe Cornish.
This is all about the music, yeah?
I know that.
So all I'm saying is that the people that voted for my song, Four Foot Club, which is about being small,
Just took a little longer to get their votes in and now you're all upset about come on tallies out there mobile This isn't about the music.
Yeah, this isn't about you and me.
This is about tall people versus short people Listen, let's have one more reminder.
This is the last reminder We're gonna play you of what we're talking about right now There are clips from their tracks and the next time we hear these it'll be the end of the show and we will have a winner Okay.
Now here's four foot club
Now here's a little bit from DJ Nippy Nips.
These songs are longer, obviously.
Not that long.
No, they both clock in at just under a minute.
But, you know, they're both great, both very different genres.
So text 64046, text Adam if you want to hear the short people's song, or Joe if you want to hear the tall people's song, 64046, and we'll play both the losing song and the winning song a bit later.
But what we're going to do is week in, you know, week on week, we'll tot up who is getting the most winning votes on these things.
And then the loser person will have some sort of forfeit, a humiliating forfeit.
If you've got an idea for a forfeit, listeners, you could email us that.
The other thing you could do, listeners, actually, in this last half hour is suggest a theme for next week's Song Wars, OK?
So we kicked it off this week with a theme we chose ourselves, which was height.
Can you think of a good theme for myself and Joe to compose songs on for next week's Song Wars?
There's a lot to do.
There's a lot for the listeners to do.
There is.
You've got to vote for your favourite song.
You've got to suggest a theme as well.
Listen, you don't have to do any of this.
You can just sit back and relax and make yourself a cocktail, have a bath.
I don't care.
But if you want to get involved, I'm just saying this is the option.
You could suggest a theme.
But coming up right now on Six Music here at the BBC, the big British castle, we have the news, which is read to you by Rachel Matthew and Andre Payne.
Digital radio, digital TV, BBC Six Music.
Nurses to make critical decisions, dodgy fireworks spawning and boy dies in mountain tragedy.
And in Six Music News, Reverend goes busking and Keith backs local hospital.
BBC Six Music.
BBC News at 11.30, I'm Rachel Matthews.
Doctors' leaders are allowing nurses to choose whether a patient who suffered a heart attack should be resuscitated.
They say the decision should no longer rest solely with GPs and consultants.
Michael Summers from the Patients' Association says the new advice is all a bit woolly.
There is nothing in the guidelines that indicate, for example, that consultants and others would speak to family members who may be at bedside.
There is no reference to living wills and the Mental Capacity Act, which came into operation just this month.
Fire chiefs say almost a fifth of fireworks brought into the UK are being sold illegally.
They're worried many of them are ending up in the hands of children and want laws tightened.
Andrew Fowl's company makes fireworks.
He defended the industry.
We have to have a license for our storage ourselves.
We have to inform customs and excise of the fireworks coming in.
And the retailer has to have a license.
And we have to see that license before we supply fireworks.
More top stories on sixth music this hour.
There's to be an investigation into possible brain injuries suffered by British soldiers who've been near explosions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The symptoms of a condition they're looking for include depression, memory loss and anxiety.
American diplomats have been told if they don't fill vacant embassy posts in Iraq voluntarily, they could be sent there or dismissed.
Officials in Washington say about 250 diplomatic staff will be shortlisted on Monday for jobs in Iraq.
11-year-old boy has fallen 100 feet to his death while on a family walk on Snowdon.
It's understood the boy, who was from the Liverpool area, slipped and tumbled down the Crib Gough section of the mountain and suffered severe head injuries in the fall.
A 12-year-old boy is in hospital after being attacked by a Staffordshire bull terrier in Gateshead.
The dog bit him on both arms.
It's now been put down.
And the ex-Prime Minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto has left Karachi for the first time since suicide bombers tried to kill her there last week.
She's been to her ancestral village to pay respects at her father's tomb.
One more thing, another hour in bed tonight for us all.
The clocks go back at 2am, ending British summertime.
Now here with the 6music news, Andre Payne.
BBC 6music.
So the Kaiser Chiefs covered Jet by Wings at the Electric Proms last night and you heard it here on 6music in the last half hour on Adam and Joe's show.
The band also ended their gig with Bond composer David Arnold on a version of Land of Hope and Glory.
Down the road at the bar of flight, Reverend and the Makers headlined Steve LaMax's 6music night and John McClure told us he's been busking his new songs.
Basically I've kind of like written the second album which is kind of quite different from the first and I thought a good way to do it is to like road test them on people as it were so like after the gig I've been going out with my acoustic and like playing them to people and the response has been amazing.
Electric to 8-1-0-1-0.
Queens of the Stone Age are playing a gig in a former salt mine in Germany.
Competition winners will get to see the band play a mile underground next month.
Keith Richards is supporting a campaign against CUT's planned Chichester St.
Richards Hospital near his home in West Sussex.
A spokesman for the Stones guitarist says he's unlikely to join a march through the town today.
Six Music News, your next bulletin is at 12.30.
On Monday night, I bring you more live tracks from the BBC Music Archive, including The Libertines, Dead Can Dance and Secret Affair.
And I'll also feature tracks from Six Music's night at the BBC Electric Proms.
Join me, Gideon Coe, Monday from 10pm.
BBC Six Music.
Adam and Joe.
Yeah it hurts to see, but I want you to stay Sometimes, sometimes, when we was young
Sometimes All my answers are like an intense I will do my best You say you wanna stay by my side Darling, your head's not right I still always die and together we fall
It was a turn sometimes Oh, someday Now I ain't wasting no more time Ooh, time
All my years, they come to me in dreams So I, sometimes, embrace my friend And say the strangest things I find, sometimes
I see you're always staying together, we fall apart Yeah, I think I'll be alright I'm working so hard, won't have to try so hard There was a chance sometimes
The Strokes.
They're so hot right now.
That was called Someday.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
And now, folks, if you're a regular listener of our shows and you are curious about what the podcast situation was going to be from these programs, let me tell you now that we haven't exactly nailed down the details.
But I can tell you that it won't be a weekly podcast that we're doing from this show.
You have the option to listen again if you choose to, which means, you know, you can listen to the show whenever you like.
I think that stays up
for a week or two yeah one week you just go to the BBC six music website and there you go or the other option that we're discussing is to do something monthly which will be a sort of selection of highlights from these programs as well as brand new nuggets Oh delicious new nuggets
And that will be something like a big one hour bumper podcast that comes out once a month.
But once I figured out, well, quite thrashed out mail down the, uh, we're talking to worldwide about, um, yeah, it'll be some meetings next week.
Once we find out we'll keep you in the loop.
Absolutely.
You can always check what's going on on my website, which is, uh, adam-buxton.co.uk.
Or, uh, you can check out the Adam and Joe six music website as well.
What's the address for that?
Well, you can find it by just going onto the BBC website.
It's easy.
Hey, and we're here until noon.
And then Liz Kershaw's back from 12 till 2, which is exciting.
So she'll be here at noon.
Stay tuned for that.
Now, I'm just looking at The Independence, The Information magazine.
Do you like The Information show?
I have no emotions about The Independence Information magazine.
Do you like information in general?
I love information.
It keeps me informed.
Yeah, that's true.
Absolutely.
That's a good point.
When you work in the city, like I do, it's important to be up to date with information.
Yeah, you've got the end of the word there.
Yeah, there you go.
Now, they've got like a little film recommendation things.
If you're staying in, they say films on television, it's helpful.
And they do a rundown, all the films to watch out for every day of the week here.
But I'm always slightly upset and baffled by the rating system they employ in these days.
Now, the independent use a rating system that I think they stole from Hello magazine involving a lady in, do they?
No, it's just stars.
Is it a lady in a chair?
Is it just stars?
Just stars.
Only stars.
I'm just worried about this.
My favourite rating system is a silhouette of a lady in a chair.
And they used to use it in Hello, do you remember in the 80s?
If it's a boring film, she's slumped in her chair.
She hates it.
This is boring.
And it's like an office chair.
If it's mildly interesting, she's sat up going, hmm.
What is this?
If it's really quite good, she's sat forward, I believe, with her chin held in her hand going, and this has drawn me slightly closer to the screen.
And if she loves it, she's standing up and clapping.
Hooray for the new series of Prime Suspect.
That kind of thing.
But I don't think hello do it anymore.
And I think a daily newspaper has stolen it.
Who is that woman in that chair?
It's my mum.
It's your mum?
It's my mum, yeah.
She's the model for that one.
She's got great taste.
I thought you were going to say something else there for a second.
She's got great clothes as well.
Now, so yeah, the independent, they just use red stars.
And so for example, Blue Velvet, which is on at 10.45pm on Sky Movies Indie next Thursday night, that gets five red stars.
Rightly so.
Rightly so.
Dead Man's Shoes, Shane Meadows' grimly gripping Cruella Roots drama, which is also on on Thursday on Film 4 at 10.50pm.
That gets four red stars.
Wrongly so.
I'd say that also deserves five.
I would give that five easily.
It's not one star worse than Blue Velvet.
Okay, uh, Sunday, this coming Sunday, tomorrow night, Star Wars, I don't know if you've seen this film, uh, Star Wars, directed by George Lucas, it says, uh,
3 stars.
3 stars for Star Wars.
Well, you know what they're doing?
They're provoking genuine Star Wars.
Star Wars.
They want people to get angry about their star rating so they'll have a taste of Star Wars.
Meanwhile, Me, You and Everyone We Know and Spellbound, both perfectly reasonable films, they get 4 stars each.
Better than Star Wars.
Better than Star Wars?
I'm not having that, come on.
You know, and video drone, that gets four stars as well.
Anyway.
You're just reading from the paper now.
Yeah, that's true, isn't it?
Music time.
Music time.
And after this, folks, we are going to announce who has won the Song Wars.
OK, that's why I was thinking about Star Wars.
But before that, here is the new single from the Foo Fighters album, Echoes, Patience, Silence, Grace, Arithmetic, Sellotape.
This is called Long Road to Ruin, and it's a beach!
Take a sound Say have you heard the news today?
One flag was taken down To raise another in its place A heavy cross you bear A stubborn heart remains unchanged No harm, no life, no love No stranger singing near your name
No king or queen of any state Get up to shut it down Open the streets and raise the gates
Before it's way too late Maybe the season The colours change in the valley skies Oh God, I'm still mine
For every piece to fall in place.
Forever gone without a trace.
Your horizon takes its shape.
No turning back, don't turn that page.
Come now, I'm leaving here tonight.
Come now, let's leave it all behind.
Is that the price you pay?
Running through hell, heaven can wait.
There's a ruin there
Oh dear.
Horrible.
It sounded particularly bad mixed in with the end of the Foo Fighters there.
It's a disgrace.
Horrible, horrible stuff.
We're gonna prove that for next week.
Yeah, you'll never have to hear that again.
Even if it means that we have to rename the feature, do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
To give it some different jingle action because that is horrible.
So this is it, listeners.
This is the end of the first ever inaugural Song Wars competition.
If you've just tuned in, Adam and Joe... Adam and Joe?
Adam and I have written a song each.
What a terrible development, talking about myself in the third person.
Very good.
Yeah we've written songs anyway and you've been voting for which one you want to hear and it's been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
We decided that next week because what happened this week right folks is that Will and also Jude told us as we were going along what the scores were right yeah and that immediately pitted myself and Joe against each other in a hideous personal way like a couple of rabid queens.
You know, and so what's going to happen next week is that it'll be a total mystery.
We won't have any idea of who's winning until the end.
Do you know what I've just arranged?
What?
I said to Will next week, at the end of the show, bring the scores in in a sealed envelope.
Yeah?
People love envelopes being opened live.
Well, get Seal to bring in the envelope.
In a Seal with a sealed envelope?
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Do you think he'll do it?
Yes.
He lives in Paris.
He could sing Kiss from a Rose beforehand.
And then he could announce the winner.
Let's organise that.
But for this week, I'm afraid we're without seal or a sealed envelope.
So instead, we're just going to have Jude, our sexy producer, say what the scores are.
But first, here we go.
The stab.
Oh, I'm excited.
In second place, with 36 votes... Let it be Joe, let it be Joe.
Let it be Adam.
It's Adam.
Oh no!
Well I'm a member of the Four Foot Club.
I always have a lot of trouble getting shoved at the pub.
I got a job cleaning tubes on a nuclear sub.
Cause I'm the only one that fits inside.
Oh yeah, I made you smile but my dreams are large.
And keep on feeling that I'm true.
Yeah?
I might be small but my dreams are large!
Yes!
You should have won man, that was good.
You was rough.
That was really good.
It was so dense.
And it was too dense, that's the thing man.
I think that might have been the problem because mine's a bit sparser than that.
Exactly, next time I'm going to go sparse, whatever it is.
I don't know, but there you go, that was the losing one.
So short people have lost generally.
I know, I was rocking too hard.
Sorry shorties, I let you down.
You know what I think we should do?
What?
Is release an album.
We should release an album.
How many tracks do you need for an album?
Three.
No, come on, for a Norman album.
It used to be like fourteen, didn't it?
Or twelve, didn't it?
Our tracks are going to be a lot shorter.
They're going to be about one minute.
The Ramones used to do very short songs.
Some of their songs were like, their first album was fourteen tracks and twenty-eight minutes.
So listen, after ten weeks, we'll have twenty songs.
Yes.
That's enough for an album, isn't it?
It is enough for an album, yeah.
Twenty songs.
We're going to be rich.
Well...
I'm not so sure.
So here's the winning song with how many votes?
55.
55.
You have to have the ignominy, Adam, of introducing my song.
That's your punishment.
And what's more, you've got to sound really excited about it.
All right.
I am excited, you know, because this is a brilliant track by one of my favourite artists.
Hey, hey, hey, come on.
That doesn't sound as if you mean it.
I'm very upset.
Here's DJ nippy nips yay with a track called.
What's it called?
It's called tall tall ta double l. Do you know what it stands for?
Yeah, but I've forgotten The tallies are Laughing long maybe something like that.
Anyway, DJ nippy nips.
Here's the winning track.
This is Joe Cornish with his song I'm six foot three and a half, you know, that's the heart I go and my name is Joe too tall too fit
I'm a man giraffe Damn airplane seats are too small for me I get DVT in economy Change light bulbs without a chair at all In the Albert Hall, I'm a sendable Hit my head a whole lot more than y'all I'm a human wall, I've got far to fall
Do I look like Robert Duvall at all?
Cause I'm tall-y tall I'm not small-y small My clothing has more material I'm imperial Cause I'm really tall My close friends tend to be rather small I don't mind at all It's acceptable So sing this song if you're six foot one Or Jeff Goldblum Or Dolph Lundgren I'm six foot three and a half you know That's the height I go And my name is Joe
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, can I just say a couple of things though?
Middle eight?
Question mark?
Chorus?
Question mark?
Where were they?
You have the past grandad.
Kids don't want that sort of thing anymore.
They just want hardcore lyrics and a
Yeah but come on that was just... I assembled that song from elements of On Garage Band.
Listen the lyrics were good there but...
Well there you go.
Don't forget to text in your suggestions for themes for next week's Song Wars.
In fact don't text them listeners because the text doesn't function when we're off air.
It does, but just for other DJs.
Email us at our special email address adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk with suggestions for next week's theme.
And we should stress that there's a possibility we may not use one of your suggestions and just go with one of our own.
Listen, we don't want like a whole cookie sock blue pizza situation happening.
No.
Okay, so I just want to lay it out for you just so we're all clear.
But we will value your suggestions and already we've got a few good ones in.
I'm thinking public transport.
Public transport is a very good suggestion.
It's a very good one.
Who was it from?
it's a very good a person thank you person now it's time for a trail uh and no it's not oh i'm looking at the wrong box and funnily enough this next track is called the box by johnny flinn
Rob lived in a box by the rails Only thing he knew is you don't fail When you live in a box by the rails Don't comb your hair, don't comb your tail Sweep my mess away, leave my body Leave my bones, leave me whole And leave my soul, leave me nothing I don't need at all Nothing I don't need at all
He ate from the bins in the park Stayed out with the rats after dark Never left the trail, never made his mark When he ate with the rats after dark Call him on his friends, never made him sad Didn't want the things he never had It only made them feel so bad For having the things he never had Sweep my mess away, leave my body, leave my bones Leave me holding, leave my soul Leave me nothing, I don't need it all
If you stay in that box overnight and don't get out till it gets light There's not much lost of a secret life and it's never done wrong and it's never done right Now some more flowers grow and the corn gets eaten by a few more crows And an old man's box is full of bones once he has footprints in the stone
Sweep my mess away, leave my body, leave my bones Leave me whole and leave my soul Leave me nothing, I don't need it all Nothing, I don't need it all Sweep my mess away, leave my body, leave my bones Leave me whole and leave my soul Leave me nothing, I don't need it all Nothing, I don't need it all
That's just a guy that was playing outside the tube as I came into work today using a biscuit tin as a drum.
We thought he was good, so we stuck him on there.
Not really.
Not really.
It was Johnny Flynn with the latest hot thing.
Sussex Wit with a track called The Box.
He's actually going to be playing on Stephen Merchant's show next weekend, not tomorrow.
Yeah, next Sunday.
Sunday week, in fact.
Yeah, that was good.
And it reminded me a little bit of a band called the Ralph Band, who fans of the Mighty Boosh would be familiar with.
They often pop up in the Boosh's shows and play live at some of their gigs.
Check out the Ralph Band, that's my suggestion.
Hey, and if, sorry,
to interrupt you there, Adam.
Go ahead.
Apologise.
If you liked either of our songs, what we played a moment ago, then they will be available to listen to on the BBC6Music stroke, Adam and Joe website until next week, when if we get round to it, there'll be two new songs.
Thing is, man, if they're available on the website, people are going to just keep them and then they won't buy the album.
Maybe we're going to have to put some kind of DRM, you know, some kind of thing where they wipe themselves or something.
Right, or emit a very high pitched squeal.
Make them painful to listen to.
Exactly.
They've got like inbuilt, what's it called?
You know, you know, I'm talking about I've run out of words because it's the end of the show.
Yeah Liz Kershaw coming up next Hey, thanks a lot to everybody who's texted an email here on our first show We'll be back at the same time next week Saturday morning 9 a.m.
Till noon till noon.
We're delighted to be here Thanks a lot and have a wonderful week.
Yeah
You wrote I love you, I love you too I sit and stare at it, there's nothing else to do Oh, what's in color?
Your hair is brown Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds I often kiss you when there's no one else around
I've got your picture I'd like a million of you all by myself I want a doctor to take a picture So I can look at you from inside as well You got me turning up and turning down I'm turning in, I'm turning back I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Tony Japanese, I think I'm Tony Japanese, I really think so Tony Japanese, I think I'm Tony Japanese, I really think so Tony Japanese, I think I'm Tony Japanese, I really think so Tony Japanese, I think I'm Tony Japanese, I really think so No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger Everyone That's why I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so